It is the first day of summer break and you wake up around noon. For the first time in a long time, you've managed to not wake up at the butt crack of dawn. You decide to check your phone but not much is happening so you proceed to get up and start the day, or afternoon that is. After doing your should've been morning duties, a friend from class asks you to go see a movie with them. You [[text back yes|Go Out]]. Or perhaps... You text back with [[no, I'm busy|Stay Home]].You choose to go out with your friend and see the newest movie out. You weren't exactly sure how the movie would go but you were very pleased with it and your friend was even sweet enough to buy you expensive popcorn and candy! You thank your friend for the movie and they are curious if you want to carry the night on with dinner. You tell them [[yes, I'd love to|Enjoy Dinner]]. Or perhaps.. You decided [[no thank you|Head Home]].Little did you know, your friend knew your favorite restaurant! You guys sat together in an extra comfy booth and talked like the night was young. In the back of your head, you give yourself a high five for coming out tonight rather than staying home and moping like you usually do. The food is exceptionally delicious tonight and the conversation with your friend is just as juicy. You check your cell phone to see that it's about 4:00 pm. You are usually in bed by now but for some reason, you feel relaxed and actually enjoying life for once. The meal is over and your friend has another request, if you want to head to the beach. You love the beach and never turn down the opportunity but tonight you just don't know. Reply with [[yes, I'd love to!|Beachin' It]]. Or perhaps... You reply with a sad [[no, I'm going to head home|Head Home]].You get home and feel a sense of relief and sadness all at once. Once again you have chosen to cut a night short with your friend due to the overwhelming feeling of sadness. You decide to eat some leftovers and watch another movie in bed. It is now almost 4:00 pm and your sad thoughts have started as they often do. Your thoughts are beginning to consume you and you have a choice to make. You can either [[get up and do something|Call Friend]]. Or perhaps... You can [[stay in bed sad|Sit in Bed]].You decide to make up some lie about why you can't go out. Your friend seems upset but you've chosen what you wanted to do and that's all there is to it. You decided to snuggle up in bed and watch a series on Netflix you've seen at least five times. In the back of your head you keep wondering if you should've gone to the movie... You feel bad so you decide to Text friend [[hey, movie night back on?|Go Out]]. Or perhaps... Proceed to watch the series [[lay in bed sad|Sit in Bed]].You sit at the beach with your friend and tell them about everything that has been troubling you. You explain your feelings, the dark and deep ones you have, and you can't stop yourself from opening up and explaining everything. You talk about the self harm, the self hate, everything. You are scared your friend will look down on you and offer stock advice but it's different. Your friend expresses their love and respect for you. Your friend tells you the truth and explains that life is hard but as long as you have someone there for you, you can do anything. You've never had someone treat you like a person and not a lifeless morsel. You decide to [[keep trying|Choose Life]].You call your friend and vent about these feelings that are trying to take over your mind, heart, and even your body. You cry and cry, letting it all out. Explaining why you chose to go home early. You can't seem to stop your thoughts from spilling out in to words and your friend has chosen to let you speak. Once you have gotten all of your thoughts out, your friend has nothing but comforting words. They invite you to the beach to vent more and relax. You are unsure... You decide to [[go to the beach|Beachin' It]]. Or perhaps... You lie to yourself and [[tell them everything is okay|Don't Choose Life]].You've made this mistake too many times before. You've let yourself come to this too many times before. You get to the point of no return, you don't reach out to anyone and you don't even allow them to anymore. You've built your wall again and are unsure of what you are capable of now. You know people say there is much more to life than the sadness and troubles in the beginning but you oftentimes don't believe that. You are tired of the way things are now and you don't know how much longer you can deal with them this way. You've spent many summers like this and you wished this could be different but of course not, that's absurd to your sad thoughts. You begin to spiral out of control, your teary eyes and faded mind can't seem to stop what's going on. You choose to [[try to think about it more|Call Friend]] Or perhaps... You decided [[to give up|Don't Choose Life]].It's too much. You've taken the route you knew you'd come to. The EndYou took the route you never thought you'd see. The route that included self love, self respect, and happiness. You took the route of having someone there for you and being there for others. You took the route that your thoughts tried to take away from you. You did it. You actually did it and you are proud. You chose life and that is the best choice you can make. The End.