It is the first day of summer break and you wake up around noon. For the first time in a long time, you've managed to not wake up at the butt crack of dawn. You decide to check your phone but not much is happening so you proceed to get up and start the day, or afternoon that is. After doing your should've been morning duties, a friend from class asks you to go see a movie with them. You [[text back yes|Go Out]]. Or perhaps... You text back with [[no, I'm busy|Stay Home]].You choose to go out with your friend and see the newest movie out. You weren't exactly sure how the movie would go but you were very pleased with it and your friend was even sweet enough to buy you expensive popcorn and candy! You thank your friend for the movie and they are curious if you want to carry the night on with dinner. You tell them [[yes, I'd love to|Enjoy Dinner]]. Or perhaps.. You decided [[no thank you|Head Home]].Little did you know, your friend knew your favorite restaurant! You guys sat together in an extra comfy booth and talked like the night was young. In the back of your head, you give yourself a high five for coming out tonight rather than staying home and moping like you usually do. The food is exceptionally delicious tonight and the conversation with your friend is just as juicy. You check your cell phone to see that it's about 4:00 pm. You are usually in bed by now but for some reason, you feel relaxed and actually enjoying life for once. The meal is over and your friend has another request, if you want to head to the beach. You love the beach and never turn down the opportunity but tonight you just don't know. Reply with [[yes, I'd love to!|Beachin' It]]. Or perhaps... You reply with a sad [[no, I'm going to head home|Head Home]].You get home and feel a sense of relief and sadness all at once. Once again you have chosen to cut a night short with your friend due to the overwhelming feeling of sadness. You decide to eat some leftovers and watch another movie in bed. It is now almost 4:00 pm and your sad thoughts have started as they often do. Your thoughts are beginning to consume you and you have a choice to make. You can either [[get up and do something|Call Friend]]. Or perhaps... You can [[stay in bed sad|Sit in Bed]].You decide to make up some lie about why you can't go out. Your friend seems upset but you've chosen what you wanted to do and that's all there is to it. You decided to snuggle up in bed and watch a series on Netflix you've seen at least five times. In the back of your head you keep wondering if you should've gone to the movie... You feel bad so you decide to Text friend [[hey, movie night back on?|Go Out]]. Or perhaps... Proceed to watch the series [[lay in bed sad|Sit in Bed]].You sit at the beach with your friend and tell them about everything that has been troubling you. You explain your feelings, the dark and deep ones you have, and you can't stop yourself from opening up and explaining everything. You talk about the self harm, the self hate, everything. You are scared your friend will look down on you and offer stock advice but it's different. Your friend expresses their love and respect for you. Your friend tells you the truth and explains that life is hard but as long as you have someone there for you, you can do anything. You've never had someone treat you like a person and not a lifeless morsel. You decide to [[keep trying|Choose Life]]. Or perhaps... You [[take the advice but ignore it|Go back home]].You call your friend and vent about these feelings that are trying to take over your mind, heart, and even your body. You cry and cry, letting it all out. Explaining why you chose to go home early. You can't seem to stop your thoughts from spilling out in to words and your friend has chosen to let you speak. Once you have gotten all of your thoughts out, your friend has nothing but comforting words. They invite you to the beach to vent more and relax. You are unsure... You decide to [[go to the beach|Beachin' It]]. Or perhaps... You lie to yourself and [[tell them everything is okay|Don't Choose Life]].You've made this mistake too many times before. You've let yourself come to this too many times before. You get to the point of no return, you don't reach out to anyone and you don't even allow them to anymore. You've built your wall again and are unsure of what you are capable of now. You know people say there is much more to life than the sadness and troubles in the beginning but you oftentimes don't believe that. You are tired of the way things are now and you don't know how much longer you can deal with them this way. You've spent many summers like this and you wished this could be different but of course not, that's absurd to your sad thoughts. You begin to spiral out of control, your teary eyes and faded mind can't seem to stop what's going on. You choose to [[try to think about it more|Call Friend]] Or perhaps... You decided [[to give up|Don't Choose Life]].Before you do it, before you give up. You start to think...will people miss me? Will me not being there make a difference? If people find out, will they talk about me? What if it doesn't work..? All these thoughts are racing through your mind and your feelings don't make it any better. You've never thought before hurting yourself, why are you doing it now? Why are you wasting time now? You feel it's best to [[go relax|Call Friend]]. Or perhaps... You [[go through with the action|The End]].You took the route you never thought you'd see. The route that included self love, self respect, and happiness. You took the route of having someone there for you and being there for others. You took the route that your thoughts tried to take away from you. You did it. You actually did it and you are proud. You [[thank you friend and go home together|Go to the house]] Or perhaps... You [[stay at the beach alone|Night Hour]]. You're in your room thinking about the advice you were given earlier. At the time it sounded like the most honest, friendly advice you'd ever gotten but your negative thoughts tell you otherwise. You've let yourself believe your friend was trying to make it worse so you only think it's right to call them back and settle it. You [[call your friend angrily|Friend Fight]]. Or perhaps... You calm down and [[call your friend for support|Support]].You've come back to your room from outings many times but this time is different; your friend has stayed with you! You haven't had someone over in a while and your room is a mess. Your friend tells you they don't mind but you are still a little upset with yourself. They can see the smallest thing is ticking you off and they comfort you with actions and words. For once, you're actually [[Doin' Better!]].The waves remind you of yourself. Getting to a peak, crashing, receding..You've had an amazing day but this was the first in many. Is this really enough to change your mind? Is this really all it took? You continue to think of the waves and the pattern they have. The pattern that never changes, never gets better. The waves remind you of yourself...[[Don't Choose Life]]Your friend has no idea what is going on and doesn't see how they deserve this. When you're angry, no one is safe and you don't care. You tell your friend how horrible and how much of a liar she is. You release all your negative feelings on her and when you've finally put a cap on your rage, your friend begins to speak but you hang up. Your anger causes you to [[The End]].Your friend sees your anger and comforts you again. They show their intentions were pure and they never wanted to hurt you an they apologize for the misconception. You have begun to calm down and you finally see the good in them and you even start to see it in yourself. It's nice to have someone there for you after doing it alone for so long. You decide you're [[Doin' Better!]].There comes a time when enough is enough and that time for you was now. This time you knew you wouldn't come back from it, there would be no scar to hide or excuse to make. It would all be over, so fast...so quick. Is this really what you want? Are you really going to take away your life, miss out on the rest of it? Is it true that it's a bad day not a bad life? The action doesn't work and now you [[stop trying and get help|Get help]]. Or perhaps... You [[try again|Life Loses]].You rush to contact your friend and it was the best choice you could've ever made. You are scared your friend will look down on you and offer stock advice but it's different. Your friend expresses their love and respect for you. Your friend tells you the truth and explains that life is hard but as long as you have someone there for you, you can do anything. You've never had someone treat you like a person and not a lifeless morsel. They give you advice, they talk to you and comfort you. You've never had this before and you don't know how to feel except happy. For the firs time in a long time, you're [[Doin' Better!]]It's what you wanted, it's what you have always wanted. Now, you've gotten it. Your end is now. [[The news gets out|Tragedy]].Remember how you thought no one would miss you? No one would be thinking about you? That the world would even be BETTER without you? Well, it's not. So many people wanted to know you, to love you. Your family and friends wanted more time and memories with you. Your teachers wanted you to come back from the summer, your professors. Everyone wanted you on this world. Life gets hard but it's even harder when you lose something important to you. The End. All it takes is a supportive, dedicated friend to get you through the bad times. Some people don't have that but you do and there's nothing more you could ever ask for. It just takes a lot of positivity and support and you can do anything! You chose life and that's the best choice of them all. The End.