Hello, my name’s Carmine. The hoomans call me “Fatso Chan” all on this absurd idea that I’m a bit large and lazy. I’m not fat, rotund, yes, but I’m certainly not lazy. Unfortunately, I don’t live alone. I must share this meager dwelling with the hoomans. I do have friends that live with us too. Another thing you should probably know about me. I’m not just a cat, I’m an adventurer with particular talents. The hoomans have no idea how busy I truly am, and I’d like to keep it that way.
[[Who do you live with? | Friends]]
Hoomans alerted! Great, punishment time. That's okay because I could use some time to catch up on some zzz's. Time to rethink my plans.
[[Ask Gojira for help.]]Great idea! I knew I could count on Gojira. He’s very dependable. Now, which talent will I be using? Do you remember when I said I’m an adventurer with particular talents? Well, these talents are more like personas and my unique abilities. I’m quite creative, but not always, shall we say, perfection.
Persona:
[[Bad Ninja: Stealth, ghost-like movement, but lacking invisibility finesse | Bad Ninja]]
[[Swashbuckling Pirate: quick and nibble with a wooden peg-leg, amazing negotiating skills, terrible at stealth | Swashbuckling Pirate]]Thanks, I love my ninja skills. Now I can sneak my way into the kitchen. I love dinner time, don’t you? Dinner time is always a good time for me. I get gifts from the hoomans as a poor attempt to distract me. Unfortunately, I must admit, it does sometimes work. With the house dark I can duck underneath the table and make my way closer towards the kitchen. Thanks to Gojira, the small hoomans are distracted for now. Oh, no! The lights are on in the kitchen.
What do I do now?
[[Proceed as Bad Ninja | Bad Ninja Route]]
[[Change persona to Sweetie Pie: a lovable and adorable kitty who loves his belly rubbed | Sweetie Pie is Victorious]]I try and sneak through the living room, but Sarge is looking at me. How does he see me? Okay, maybe a ninja outfit with sparkling rhinestones wasn't my best choice. But come on they're Swarovski! Seriously? You're judging me for having taste?! Oh, you're not? You're right, it's because Sarge can see me. I did forewarn you, my skills aren't perfection.
I see Sarge calling me over.
[[What does Sarge want? | Sarge's Proposition]]I sit in the entry way and meow toward my hooman mom. She loves when I do that. She wonders if the tuna is calling my name. She knows me so well and she thanks me! Can you believe it? She thanks me for not jumping onto the counter to steal the yummy fish. When mom gives me my plate of tuna, I remember that thanks to Gojira’s help the small hoomans didn’t pick me up and Sarge didn’t scream. My friends and I eat very well tonight. Tuna for everyone!
Until next time!
[[Tuna, Be Mine]]Argh, me, matey. I thank ya’. Sorry about that. I can’t help myself when I’m a pirate. Now I can finesse my way into the kitchen. I love dinner time, don’t you? Dinner time is always a good time for me. I get gifts from the hoomans as a poor attempt to distract me. Unfortunately, I must admit, it does sometimes work. With the house dark I can duck underneath the table and make my way closer towards the kitchen. Thanks to Gojira, the small hoomans are distracted.
What do I do now?
[[Proceed as Swashbuckling Pirate | Pirate Thwarted]]
[[Change persona to Sweetie Pie: a lovable and adorable kitty who loves his belly rubbed | Sweetie Pie is Victorious]]
As I make my way through the entry way, oh, no! The floor wet. I'll fall flat on my face. I will need help to tread these "waters." Gojira may be of assistance yet again.
[[Ask Gojira for help again.]] Gojira is quite helpful to me; he doesn’t look as fabulous as me since he’s a tortoise. The hoomans allow him to walk around to hang out with me, how considerate. However, they tie this red balloon to his shell. It’s so they know where he is. I found it distracting at first until I realized how distracting it is to the hoomans! Unfortunately, Gojira and I have to put up with Sarge, the hooman’s parrot. Sarge, is a Red-Belly parrot, more like Red-Belly snitch! That’s right, I said it. Sarge is always sabotaging my plans, so I’m not a fan.
[[Do you get cool toys? | Toy Mouse]] Today I received this amazing toy. The hoomans gave me a mouse that smells and tastes amazing! I don’t know what’s in it, but everything just looks colorful. And everything just smells… what is that? Oh, my goodness, it smells divine. It’s TUNA! I must have it, but how? Gojira is always willing to help and how wonderful, he’s not in his tank. But, Sarge is sitting on top of his cage near the kitchen.
[[Go directly into the kitchen and grab the tuna. | Oh, no!]]
[[Ask Gojira for help.]]Of course, Sarge would want something from me.
"Ah, hello there, Carmine. What are you up to," asks Sarge.
"Nothing," says Carmine.
"Nothing, huh? In that get up? I'm sure it has nothing to do with the smell coming from the kitchen," says Sarge.
"I take it you have a price in mind for your silence," says Carmine.
"Ah, why yes, I'm interested in aquiring their new power cord in exchange for safe passage into the kitchen," says Sarge.
"That's a tough one, Sarge, considering they're very sensitive when it comes to those energy snakes," says Carmine.
"I know, I've already gone through so many," says Sarge.
"And they weren't happy. This puts me in a tough position," says Carmine.
[[Do I get the power cord for Sarge? | Go get the power cord]]
or
[[Do I find an alternate distraction for Sarge? | Alternate distraction]]As I make my way over towards the desk where the power cord is, I find myself wondering if I should do this. The last time Sarge chewed on an energy snake he got hurt. I know he's a pain, but do I want this on my conscience?
[[Do I find an alternate distraction for Sarge? | Alternate distraction]]
or
[[Take the power cord. | Power strikes back.]]I remembered how much fun Sarge had when the small hooman gave him the paper towel roll. He had a lot of fun and the hoomans didn't get upset at all. I think this would be a better toy so Sarge doesn't hurt himself or risk the hoomans getting upset again.
[[Bring Sarge the paper towel roll.]]
or
[[Return empty handed.]]I climb onto the chair without the hooman noticing. My ninja technique is quite flawless around them. Okay, maybe not flawless, but it worked. I have the power! Sorry, too many He-man episodes. Now to bring this back to Sarge.
"Hey, Sarge. Here's your cord," says Carmine.
"Thank you, you may now pass with my silence granted," says Sarge.
"Thank you, please enjoy," says Carmine.
"I will," says Sarge.
As I turn towards the kitchen. I hear choking. Great!
[[Respond to the choking.]]
or
[[Get the tuna.]]Sarge isn't happy that I didn't bring him the power cord, but when I made my case about the him getting hurt like last time, let's just say I now have safe passage. It's better to have friends safe and sound he figured. Good man.
[[Head towards the kitchen.]]Gojira has agreed to aide me once again, but he requires assistance of his own.
"He-he-he-llo, Carmine."
"Hello, Gojira. I require your assistance again. Would you mind?"
"Hmmm, Carmine. I-I already helped you."
"Yes, I'm a aware of that. We can trade services. How does that sound?"
"I re-re-really enjoy walking around the house, but I don't like the balloon tied around my shell. Would you cut it off with your claw?"
Okay, I'm not sure what I should do here. I like Gojira and I'd like to help him. Yet, if I cut off his string he can get lost in the house. Do I really want him to get lost and hurt? Then again, I wouldn't have to share anything with him any longer if he did get lost.
[[Cut off the balloon string. | Gojira's Choice]]
or
[[Find an alternate for Gojira.]]I don't want to risk getting in trouble and Gojira getting lost or even hurt in the house. That's the whole point of the balloon.
"Gojira, would an extra helping of tuna suffice," asks Carmine.
Who wouldn't agree to that? Gojira thinks about it for a moment.
[[Yes to extra tuna.| More Tuna.]]
or
[[No to extra tuna. | Make a dingy.]]
I do as Gojira asks and cut off his string. He is grateful to be free and agrees to help me into the kitchen.
"I-I-I'll be right back, Ca-Carmine. Just le-let me stretch my shell for a mo-moment."
"Okay, Gojira. I have to groom anyway."
Gojira deserves a good stretch and I deserve to feel clean. There is nothing like a good bath, wouldn't you agree?
As I clean my fur down to my tail, which feels like ages, I notice Gojira hasn't come back. He only said he was stretching his shell.
"Gojira, Gojira."
Where is that tortoise? Serves me right. What do I do now?
[[Look for Gojira.]]
or
[[Go for the tuna.]]Mama hooman is loving the performance. When mama gives me my plate of tuna, I remember that thanks to Gojira’s help the small hoomans didn’t pick me up and Sarge sang so that I could dance for her. My friends and I will eat very well tonight. Tuna for everyone!
Until next time!
[[Tuna, Be Mine]]Mama hooman is loving our little trick. When mama gives me my plate of tuna, I remember that thanks to Gojira’s help the small hoomans didn’t pick me up and he made it possible for me to get accross the kitchen floor. Best of all, Srage didn't scream when we came around. My friends and I will eat very well tonight. Tuna for the mateys!
Until next time!
[[Tuna, Be Mine]] Malone, S. (2018). Fatso Chan - Bad Ninja [Image]
<img src="Assets/FatsoChanNinja.jpeg" alt="cat in ninja costume" />
Malone, S. (2018). Fatso Chan - Pirate [Image]
<img src="Assets/FatsoChanPirate.jpeg" alt="cat in pirate costume" />
AccentCartoon CTE01_05.2 [MP3]. (2018). Cartoon Express.
Looks like mama hooman is standing near the tuna. Darn it, I won't get passed her like this. Sarge is pleased with my actions that he flies over and begins singing. Perfect! I will use this as an opportunity to use my Ninja skills in an elaborate dance to keep her entertained.
[[Nailed It!]]<<cacheaudio "plunder" "Assets/AccentCartoon CTE01_05.2.mp3">>I know I want the tuna, but I care about Gojira first. He's my friend and is always willing to help me whenever I'm in need. How can I not look for him?
"Gojira, Gojira, where are you," asks Carmine.
"He-he-help. He-he-help," screams Gojira.
Is that Gojira calling for help?
"Gojira, is that you," asks Carmine.
"Ca-Carmine, he-he-help me," cries Gojira.
"Where are you? I don't see you," says Carmine.
"U-u-under the so-so-sofa," cries Gojira.
[[Look under the sofa.]]Thanks to Gojira taking off on me, I need to find another way across the kitchen floor. I see I have a pair of booties. I can put them on or use the cardboard box and make a dingy.
[[Proceed with booties.]]
or
[[Make a dingy.]]I want to laugh seeing him like this, but I think it would make him cry. A small giggle is okay. I'll need more hands on deck for this one.
"I'll be right back, don't worry, Gojira," says Carmine.
I make a run towards my mama hooman.
"HELP, HELP, HELP," screams Carmine.
She begins to stroke my fur. Of course, she can't understand me. I need to get her to follow me. So I yell louder and louder as I make my way back towards Gojira. I lay on the ground tossing over and over again. I attempt to stuff myself under the sofa, but she grabs me. I struggle in her grip using my back legs to break free.
"MEEEEOOOOWWW!"
There, she drops to the ground thinking I'm hurt and she sees him. Finally, she sees Gojira. She nudges me out of the way and lifts the sofa. Gojira rushes to freedom.
"Th-thank y-y-you, Ca-Carmine," gasps Gojira.
"You're welcome, my friend," says Carmine in a warm voice.
For being a good friend, I am rewarded with tuna, which I gladly share with my pal Gojira. Gojira even shares some of his with me. Extra helping for me! Life is good when you have friends to share it with.
Until next time!
[[Tuna, Be Mine]] This is not as easy as it looks. I feel awkard and look rather ridiculous trying to walk across the kitchen floor. I feel like I'm walking with tape stuck to the bottom of my paws. Mama hooman begins to look over at me laughing. Can you believe that? She's laughing at me. Do I look that ridiculous? Overdramatic steps taken one-by-one as if avoiding a dizzing amount of ants on a sugar coated floor. It must be amusing. But it's not comfortable and frankly, I'm a bit worried about Gojira.
[[Look for Gojira.]] Making a dingy out of this carboard box will be easy. Now just to get onto the water and row. I've made my way acroos the floor to find that the tuna has been put away. The hoomans can't find Gojira. I guess this should serve me right for abandoning my friend when he needed me.
Until next time.
[[Tuna, Be Mine]] Darn it, Sarge! He has the cord around his neck. He needs help. I jump onto his cage and try to pull the cord off using my paw. I then try using my mouth. Oh, no! I frantically cry out and jump onto the ground alerting the nearest hooman. Mama hooman turns in our direction as I jump towards Sarge again. She sees him! She runs over and removes the cord from around Sarge's neck.
Whew! I feel so much better. I may not always like him, but I want him around, he is a friend. I don't enjoy watching people in agony. I'm not a monster.
For my good deed, I'm rewarded with tuna. Believe it or not, Sarge even shared his piece with me too for saving him. Extra helping for me! Life is good with friends.
Until next time!
[[Tuna, Be Mine]] As I make my way towards the kitchen. Some of the hoomans run past me. That's okay because now there is nothing between me and that tuna. This is too easy, friend. Wait, where is the tuna? Ijump onto the counter and I don't see it all. I jump down and head to the table. It's not there. Where's the tuna?
The hoomans put it away to attend o Sarge. Serves me right for thinking more about my stomach than my own friend. No tuna tonight for me. I let my friend down.
Until next time!
[[Tuna, Be Mine]] "Sorry, Sarge. I didn't grab the power cord," says Carmine.
"Why not, Carmine," asks Sarge.
"I wanted to help you out, but not at the risk of getting in trouble. Not to mention you could get hurt. Why would I want you to get hurt," asks Carmine.
"Wow, Carmine. I didn't think about it that way. You actually care about me and the hoomans. How could I not let you pass," says Sarge.
"Really, Sarge? Do you mean it," asks Carmine.
"No. I don't. WHy should I let you pass if I'm not getting anything out of it," asks Sarge.
"Would an extra helping of tuna suffice," asks Carmine.
[[Yes to extra tuna. | Extra tuna.]]
or
[[No to extra tuna. | No tuna.]]Now that Sarge has agreed to an extra helping of tuna, I can make my way towards the kitchen. However, mama hooman is standing near the tuna. Darn it, I won't get passed her like this. Sarge is pleased with my actions that he flies over and begins singing. Perfect! I will use this as an opportunity to use my Ninja skills in an elaborate dance to keep her entertained.
[[Nailed It!]]Sarge decides that an extra helping of tuna isn't worth it to him. Without Sarge letting me pass, the hoomans will punish me... again. I guess there won't be tuna on the menu tonight, at least not for me.
Until next time!
[[Tuna, Be Mine]] "Fine, Carmine," says Gojira. "I'll take an ex- ex- extra helping of tu-tuna and I'll be your boat."
"Awesome, Gojira," says Carmine.
My "boat" walks into the kitchen only for us to see mama hooman is standing near the tuna. Darn it, I won't get passed her like this. Gojira is pleased with my actions that he walks over to me and I climb on. Perfect! I will use this as an opportunity to tred the waters to keep her entertained.
[[She loved it!]]Since Gojira isn't willing to help, I'll just help myself by making a dingy out of this carboard box. Now just to get onto the water and row. I've made my way acroos the floor to find the tuna already being served. I guess I shouldn't have taken so long. If I would've helped Gojira like he asked, I might be eating tuna tonight.
Until next time.
[[Tuna, Be Mine]]