motherland

[[(tw, cw)]] all sungreened all windows refract shine hotter all vines lusher [[tante smiles to pull inheritance from bag]] [[unnoticed: canoe skeleton hangs from ceiling]]

white man learned the birchbark canoe from white men [[calls himself holder of the lost knowledge not owner]] [[shows you the book from boy scouts]] [[canoe floats, creaks]]

(not her maman's treasure) lastline belle-mère on deathbed spawned ivory [[these eggs oblong, round]] [[these faces of The Beautiful African People]] [[a hole]]

a white man writes what he learned from the indians so boyscouts can play that old game of cowboy [[he always wanted to ride a horse]]

so he did. [[why did he never ask]]

but still says "they don't know it because we killed it out of them" looks back to colonial motherland and wonders if [[these eggs oblong, round]] asked to be cracked on such noble savagery and his friends (bad allyship)

reflects on how skeletons become airborne like 15% skin breathed on subways others' loss enters into us becomes responsible for our being beside how our transit makes us [[something in between]] daily

whose eggs are these to pass down [[i am my mother's egg]] [[if cracked could you eat of it]]

wrongful possession makes stereotype always facing out: [[faces]] [[bust]]

[[takes you to the motherland]]

[[she is her maman's egg]]

survive on the yokes it contains [[white]] [[grey]] [[black]] [[???]]

she is her maman's egg well traveled on the whole takes [[a hole]] to journey out

whether bracelet or shackle [[a hole]]

like an elephant skin up close to see rough like how you might catch sight of the wrinkles spreading in the mirror like elephant skin like dead skin like bordering [[something in between]] [[story your mother wrote, grandmother hated]]

synonyms for //black// : miserable, unhappy, sad, wretched, broken-hearted, heartbroken, grief-stricken, grieving, sorrowful, sorrowing, anguished, desolate, despairing, disconsolate, downcast, dejected, sullen, cheerless, melancholy, morose, gloomy, glum, mournful, doleful, funereal, dismal, forlorn, woeful, abject; informal; dolorous or you could paint your face with cork and call it joy or [[these faces of The Beautiful African People]] stupid, ugly, abject n****rs for sale, [[Senegal]] 15th-19th cent.

like present history how grey [[takes you to the motherland]] clouds and spits on what you believed

//elephants in the sand// not in the room nevertheless buried asking who in the end [[takes you to the motherland]] if your mother dies between coasts

[[Senegal]] [[Yarmouth]] [[France]]

to [[take me to the motherland]]

[[take me to the motherland]]

here was ancestor sold here was ancestor sold here was ancestor soldhere was ancestor sold here was ancestor sold here was ancestor soldhere was ancestor sold here was ancestor sold here was ancestor soldhere was ancestor sold here was ancestor sold here was ancestor soldhere was ancestor sold here was ancestor sold here was ancestor soldhere was ancestor sold here was ancestor sold here was ancestor soldhere was ancestor sold here was ancestor sold here was ancestor soldhere was ancestor sold here was ancestor sold here was ancestor soldhere was ancestor sold here was ancestor sold here was ancestor soldhere was ancestor sold here was ancestor sold here was ancestor soldhere was ancestor sold here was ancestor sold here was ancestor soldhere was ancestor sold here was ancestor sold here was ancestor soldhere was ancestor sold here was ancestor sold here was ancestor soldhere was ancestor sold here was ancestor sold here was ancestor soldhere was ancestor sold here was ancestor sold here was ancestor soldhere was ancestor sold here was ancestor sold here was ancestor soldhere was ancestor sold here was ancestor sold here was ancestor soldhere was ancestor sold here was ancestor sold here was ancestor soldhere was ancestor sold here was ancestor sold here was ancestor soldhere was ancestor sold here was ancestor sold here was ancestor soldhere was ancestor sold here was ancestor sold here was ancestor soldhere was ancestor sold here was ancestor sold here was ancestor soldhere was ancestor sold here was ancestor sold here was ancestor soldhere was ancestor sold here was ancestor sold here was ancestor soldhere was ancestor sold here was ancestor sold here was ancestor soldhere was ancestor sold here was ancestor sold here was ancestor soldhere was ancestor sold here was ancestor sold here was ancestor soldhere was ancestor sold here was ancestor sold here was ancestor soldhere was ancestor sold here was ancestor sold here was ancestor soldhere was ancestor sold here was ancestor sold here was ancestor soldhere was ancestor sold here was ancestor sold here was ancestor soldhere was ancestor sold here was ancestor sold here was ancestor soldhere was ancestor sold here was ancestor sold here was ancestor soldhere was ancestor sold here was ancestor sold here was ancestor soldhere was ancestor sold here was ancestor sold here was ancestor soldhere was ancestor sold here was ancestor sold here was ancestor soldhere was ancestor sold here was ancestor sold here was ancestor soldhere was ancestor sold here was ancestor sold here was ancestor sold [[???]]

call us black loyalists like we cared for royal crowns and not freedom not freedom we got in a book of names grandmother still belongs to the government still got a bullet through her window still shackled to the bottle to the violence just loosely buried like clams in sand [[found a seal carcass on beach looking out]] [[set out for freetown]]

Provence and provenance dry air and brush fire coast like sky blue [[returns to water]] then opposite continent ancients here carved ivory too

(if inverted the faces huddle and smile at each other) (an inside joke) (familiar story) otherwise worn out to tan, sail, beach how [[white]] yellows with sweat and sloughed skin

etched MALE deep into back never asked if it hurt if between scrapes statue whispered convincingly " [[take me to the motherland]] " while craftsperson made a few coins off a white man who liked the lack of eyes and front facing titties to set upon his desk and rub [[white]] when anxious

all we know is "someone in virginia loves me" on bleached cotton grandfather sent it in the mail because a t-shirt can't stand you up at a diner and leave its stench on [[take me home country road]]

~~Almost heaven, West Virginia, Blue Ridge Mountains, Shenandoah River. Life is old there, older than the trees, younger than the mountains, blowing like a breeze. Country roads, take me home to the place I belong. West Virginia, mountain mamma, take me home, country roads. All my memories gather round her, miner's lady, stranger to blue water. Dark and dusty, painted on the sky, misty taste of moonshine, teardrop in my eye. Country roads, take me home to the place I belong. West Virginia, mountain mamma, take me home, country roads. I hear her voice in the morning hour, she calls me, the radio reminds me of my home far away. And driving down the road I get a feeling that I should have been home yesterday, yesterday. Country roads, take me home to the place I belong. West Virginia, mountain mamma, take me home, country roads. Country roads, take me home to the place I belong. West Virginia, mountain mamma, take me home, country roads Take me home now, country roads, Take me home now, country roads.~~ [[can't remember]] between south and north exactly where all the [[black bodies hang from trees or laid on concrete]]. [[by the women in the rivers]]? skeletal airborne canoes?

can't remember a home killed out on someone else's killed out home [[unnoticed: canoe skeleton hangs from ceiling]]

its skull is like a baby's. highest tides here take it back on the equinox moon rise [[returns to water]]

is this the motherland forgot? [[returns to water]]

mediterranean atlantic with all those bodies floating between coasts like buoys to mark lack and hate come here to cross or for salt in our wounds [[water is motherland]]

http://www.mmiwg-ffada.ca/files/research-plan.pdf [[water is motherland]]

names listed far back [[take a moment to say their names]] 284 today (https://www.washingtonpost.com/graphics/2018/national/police-shootings-2018/?utm_term=.d222c47d0894) (https://blacklivesmatter.com/)

rips through you leaves [[a hole]]

doesn't mean it isn't cruel. it's like water shortcircuits our motherboards forcing our heads beneath the surface do we slip below slip above return to and depart depart depart and return again only to find ourselves airborne traces in breathing peoples' lungs [[world how you gift us with return]]

bring back the stolen land in accessory to sit polished oily on necks and wrists fast hidden in closets play a game see how many bones can fit before you get a whole skeleton who leans out whispers to be returned to its sistren in the sand[[.]]

racialized and colonial violence, police violence, death [[back door open]]

motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland motherland