Struggles in The Life of a First Grader

Your name is Keandre, and you are an eight year old African American boy in first grade at Martin James Academy. Your mother is a hard working woman who has raised four boys all on her own ranging in ages. You are the oldest boy in the family and try hard to set the right example for your brothers. Without a father in your life you take on the job as the "man of the house", but this responsibility takes away from a lot of your fun time, as you are trying to mentor your siblings. At times you just want to let loose and go play with your friends, but you also know you need to be there to help your mother out. [[Next day]]

You have just gotten home from a rough day at school. Your classmates were out of control the entire day and you are still feeling distracted by them. At lunch they served your least favorite food, Brussel sprouts and squash. To top it off walking home you stepped in a giant puddle and got your new Jordan’s completely muddy. When you walk inside, your brothers are there to jump all over you and greet you, which you don't want any part of. You try to put on a happy face for your younger brothers when you get home and they start getting on your nerves. To avoid any conflict, you go straight to your room and shut the door. Ken comes tromping right up to your room and starts pounding on the door. You try to ignore him but he is getting on your last nerve. Do you: [[Swear]] [[Not swear]]

You swear at Ken, your youngest brother who is only 4 and get in trouble from your mother. She scolds you and tells you to be a better big brother or you will not be getting dessert tonight! [[Next day (Day 2)]]

You decide to be the bigger person and don't swear at your little brother. Your mother is in the other room and she overhears your good faith towards your younger brother. She comes in and tells you she is proud of you, and tells your siblings to be more like Keandre because you set a great example. [[Next day (Day 2)]]

The next day, things are pretty normal. The focus is on math today. You're pretty good at math. It was all fine. You were pretty good all day, so you got to go to recess. [[Go to Recess]]

You are the best big brother ever and do your homework, setting an example your mother would be proud of! Your brothers shockingly follow suit and do the same. Your mom comes home early for work and is so happy that her boys are acting like young men. She buys you all Dairy Queen ice cream later that night! [[Go get icecream]]

You know you should do your homework, but football is just so much more fun! Ken is doing his homework in the kitchen. He looks like he could use a break. "Ken?" He looks up. "Do you want to go play catch?" "Yeah!" You go out to the front yard and toss the ball aroud a few times. You stand on opposite ends of the yard, but still you're able to toss it back and forth with a light underhand. "I wish we had more room." Ken says. "Yeah." You agree. Your neighbors across the street don't look like they're home. You have an idea. "Ken, go to that house's yard, and we'll throw it across the street." "Okay." He looks both ways, then crosses. The street is dead. You throw it back and forth for half an hour. You were afraid Ken wouldn't be strong enough yet to throw it that far, but he's big enough now that it's not a problem. One time when you throw the ball it slips out of you hand and falls short, just about in the middle of the road. "I'll get it!" Ken yells. He runs into the road without hesitation. "Ken, no!" A black chevy pickup comes out of nowhere. You run trying to get to Ken, but you're too far. You watch with a feeling of impending doom. In a stroke of luck, Ken actually jumps out of the way. At first you can't tell if he made it. He lands stomach-first on the ground. The truck is gone. "Ken!" You yell as you run over. You can hear your hearbeat. But Ken gets up. "I'm okay!" He says. You run over and hug him, then pull him to his feet. "Let's go inside." You tell him. He nods. You feel relieved, until you look over to the house and see your mother coming towards you. She looks you in the eyes. It's a look that says you're dead. "You're the oldest! You're supposed to keep him safe! What were you thinking!?" she says, paying no attention to Ken, who's slowly creeping away. [[Applogize to your mom]] [[Why am I the only one getting yelled at?]]

You don't know what to say. You're swept up in emotions. You don't want Mom to be angry with you. And you definitely didn't mean to put Ken in danger. You just wanted to have fun. "I'm sorry." You say. The words don't come out easily. You look down, because you can't bare to look her in the face right now. "Keandre..." her voice doesn't sound so angry anymore. You look up. "I know it's hard. I know you just want to play and have fun. Trust me, every boy your age does. But I need you to be strong. For me and your brothers. I know I'm asking a lot of you, and I'm sorry. But this is how it is. I can't always be around, and your father's not with us anymore, so I need you to be really mature." You nod. "I understand." You say. "Okay. Now go do your homework, and maybe when you're done we'll all go out and get some ice cream." You go upstairs and work hard on your homework. Just like she promised, she took you and your brothers to Dairy Queen, as a special treat. [[Go get icecream]]

You stare up at your mother. All of a sudden, she seems gigantic. She looms over you like a mountain. Your heart beats a mile a minute. "Why did I say that?" You think. "What do I do?" You feel the urge to run, but before you can move your legs, you hear the sound of breath. A sigh that quickly turns into a cry. It's quiet. It's not a full sob, but little tears roll down her face. "Keandre." she says, "I don't-" Tears come faster. She sits on the glass, trying to compose herself for her boys. "Mom," you try to get her attention. She won't look at you. "Mom, Ken's okay. We're all okay. Please stop crying." You start to feel tears, but you don't know why. "Mom, please stop crying." But she keeps sobbing. "Keandre, you don't know how your dad died, do you? You were too little to remember." You stand motionless. "Dad?" Of course you knew you had a dad, but you don't remember anything about him. Except, if you don't focus too hard on it, you can vaguely remember his face, smiling at you about something. You don't remember what. "You were playing outside, and you went into the road, I don't know why, maybe your ball went into the road, I don't know, but a car came driving by, and he saw, and he pushed you out of the road, but he-" She just cries for a moment. Some of the neighborhood kids are watching from a distance. She's made a scene, but you don't even think about it. You're just filled with an overwhelming need to be hugged. [[Give your mom a hug]]

"Mom, I'm sorry." You're crying in her arms. "Oh, Keandre, it's not your fault. You're a good boy, Keandre. You have to be strong, for your brothers' sake. You're the man of the house, Keandre. You understand?" You get up and nod. Your tears have left a wet spot on her shirt. You go inside, and try to work on your homework. It's hard to focus. You're still upset, and thinking about your father. But you know that you have to be strong, and do the right thing for your brothers, to make your mother, and your father, proud. When you have your homework done in an hour, Ken comes running into your room. "Keandre! Guess what? Mom's taking us all to go get ice cream!" [[Go get icecream]]

You arrive at Dairy Queen and immediately run to the see-through freezer, to eye up the latest ice cream. There are so many choices! You narrow it down to Chocolate, Rocky Road and Blue Moon. [[Chocolate]] [[Rocky Road]] [[Blue Moon]]

It's a Thursday morning at school, and that means it's reading and writing day. You're more of a math kind of guy, and truthfully, you hate reading. Your teacher knows your feelings about reading and writing but encourages you to be proficient in everything you do. Dragging your feet to your desk you have to make the decision on how you will act for the day... [[You work hard on your reading]] [[Ignore your teacher]]

You work hard all day, and honestly, you hate it. You're bored and you'd rather play with your friends. Some kids even call you names. "This is dumb!" You think. At the end of the day, as you're leaving, your teacher pulls you aside. "Keandre," she says, "I noticed you worked really hard today. I know schoolwork can be hard for you to focus on, especially English, but you did really good today, and I just wanted to say that I'm proud of you." It was a hard day, but you went home feeling good about yourself. [[At home...]]

Who cares about English? You play with your friends all day and have fun. At the end of the day, your teacher asks you to come see her before you leave. "Keandre," she says, "Today was unacceptable. I know school work isn't your favorite thing, and it's not for many kids your age, but you really need to try harder. I need you to be responsible. You have brothers, don't you?" "Yeah." "Don't you want to be a good influence for them?" You're not entirely sure what influence means, but you think you know what she means. You nod. "Okay then. Now get home." [[Once you're home...]]

You choose chocolate! Good choice! [[Day 3]]

You choose Rocky Road! Good choice! [[Day 3]]

You choose Blue Moon! Good choice! [[Day 3]]

When you get home you see that your brothers aren't doing their homework. You say hi to all of them, and go to do your homework right away. "What are you doing?" ken asks. "Homework." "You never do your homework right away." "Do so!" "Not if Mom's not around." "Well, now I am!" He gets quite, and walks away. You later see him doing his homework. You're a good influence! [[Day 4]]

You get home, and are so frustrated you don't feel like doing anything. You watch TV and don't do your homework at all. Your brothers, coincidentally, do the same. You're not the best influence today. [[The Next Day (Day 4)]]

Today you arrive at school and head straight to the cafeteria for breakfast. Your classmates are all eating coco puffs and drinking their milk. They are making a mess while laughing and having a good time at Mrs. Smith’s expense, your teacher. Of course you want to jump right in with your buddies and had a good time making a mess while laughing your socks off. But in the back of your mind you know at the end of each month at your school does a fun day for all the kids who are well behaved. You only had the opportunity to go to one fun day ever and it was the time of your life but you missed out last year due to your poor behavior. Now you are faced with the decision to act responsible or be foolish with your friends. [[Act Foolish]] [[Be Responsible]]

Acting foolish has rewarded you absolutely nothing. Mrs. Smith and other teachers have to step in as you and your friends are throwing cereal around the room and spilling milk on the tables and floor. Not only does you’re the entire class have to miss recess that day, but also the school fun day. [[Not-So Fun Day]]

Making the decision to eat your breakfast in peace at the table with your friends while they fooled around pays off in a big way. After breakfast before the class started reading Mrs. Smith made an announcement that you were the best behaved kid in the cafeteria this morning and you will definitely be able to attend the fun day. Inside this brought you to tears. You had worked so hard towards the fun day for one reason; the volunteers that came in to run the games made you feel like you had a dad again while they taught you how to play. Having a father figure is all you ever wanted, and the fun day made you feel like you had one. [[Fun Day]]

You wake up super excited for fun day! You get ready for school in record time. You quick eat breakfast, and don't even have to be nagged by your mother to hurry up. When you get to school all the students in the class are separated into two groups; one for kids who get to go to Fun Day, and one for kids who don't. When you feel proud and excited when she calls your name for the Fun Day group. Your friend James approaches you from the No Fun Day Group. [[See What James Wants]]

The first thing you remember when you wake up his morning is that you don't get to go to Fun Day. You feel tears forming but you don't cry. You go to your normal classroom. There's just a few kids in the room. These are the really naughty ones. The worst is James. He's a friend of yours, and really a good guy, but sometimes he just takes things too far. "This is stupid. Why do I even have to be here?" He asks no one in particular. You don't answer. "We should get to go to Fun Day." He says, this time to you. "Right, Deandre?" "Yeah," you say. "We should do something about this, right?" "What do you mean?" [["follow me"]]

"Okay, let's do it." You say. "Awesome," James says. "Do you want to, or should I?" "I will." You pull the alarm. The two of you start giggling when you first hear it sound. But just then, Mrs. Smith turns the corner and spots you! "Keandre! James!" She yells. "Go to the office right now!" [[Go to the office]]

You tell Mrs. Smith what James told you. "James!" She yells. He looks up. "Yeah?" "Come here right now! We're going to have a talk." She turns to you. "Sweetie, you go ahead and enjoy Fun Day." [[Enjoy Fun Day]]

Your group is sent down to the gym, where Fun Day is being held. You can't wait! [[Go to Fun Day]]

Mrs. Smith meets you at the principal's office. "What happened?" The principal asked. "These two pulled the fire alarm." Mrs. Smith answers. "You two! I can't say I'm surprised. You're both a bunch of trouble makers." "I'm not!" You yell. "Really?" Mrs. Smith says. "You've been acting out every day recently! Wait until your mother finds out." "Go home." The principal says. "I'll call her now, and you two can talk about it when you get home." [[Head home]]

You go down to Fun Day. You feel a little bad for James, but he had it coming. He wasn’t about to let him ruin fun day. You've been looking forward to this for a long time. You got to go two years ago and the volunteers that came in to run the games made you feel like you had a dad again when they taught you how to play. Having a father figure is all you ever wanted, and the fun day made you feel like you had one. Last year, you didn't get to go, so this feels really special. [[At the End of the Day]]

There are games set up all around the gym. The Fun Day volunteers are there to play with you. You go to a game. "Can I play?" You ask a volunteer. "Of course!" They say. "You'll be-" There's a screeching sound and a flash of light. You realize in a second it's the fire alarm. [[Run Outside!]]

You run as fast as you can. Kids push and shove. You almost fall, but you catch yourself. You go outside where lots of people are already standing around nervously. The fire department comes, and they have to go through every room just to be sure. It's a really big school, so this takes a while. By the time they're done and everyone can go back inside, it's almost time to go home. You go inside and are told to go back to class, where he teacher wraps up the day. "I know this is a disappointment to a lot of you, but there's not anything we can do about it. It's time to go home." [[Go Home]]

On your walk home, you think about the day. You remember what James said. Was he the one that pulled the fire alarm? There's no way to know for sure. Why would he tell you if it was? He doesn't trust you anymore. You realize you should've been more responsible, and told the teacher what James has said. You have a lot of growing up to do. You don't feel like the role model you wanted to be for your brothers. The End. Go back to [[Start]]

You walk home, and can't help but imagine what a fun time the kids who got to go to Fun Day had. You imagine playing with the other kids, and more heart-wrenchingly, you imagine playing with the other kids. You got to go to Fun Day two years ago, and it was great, because the volunteers made it feel like you finally had a father figure. Maybe next year. You think about your brothers. You wanted to be a good role model for them. But are you? It doesn't seem like it. The end. Go back to [[Start]]

There's a teacher's aide in the room, but she's not paying any attention to what anyone is doing. You two leave with having to be sneaky at all. "What are you doing?" You ask. "Just follow me." He takes you down the hallway to a fire alarm pull station. "No. I'm not doing this." "Why not?" "It's stupid. It won't even ruin Fun Day." "It'll scare them. Come on, it'll be fun. You'll regret it if you don't." "Why do you need me for this?" "Moral Support. Come on." [[Pull the Alarm]] [[Walk Away]]

"Okay, let's do it." You say. "Awesome," James says. "Do you want to , or should I?" "I will." You pull the alarm. The two of you start giggling when you first hear it sound. But just then, Mrs. Smith turns the corner and spots you! "Keandre! James!" She yells. "Go to the office right now!" [[Go to the Office]]

"No. This is stupid." You walk away. You question yourself a little. What do you have to lose? But you just keep walking. This doesn't feel right. You go back to the room. "Where did you go?" The teacher's aid asks. "The bathroom." She leaves you alone again. Just then the fire alarm goes off. The aid jumps. a few kids scream. You remain silent. "Okay, kids," The aid says, "let's get outside, nice and orderly. Don't run off." The whole school goes outside, then a few minuetes later you're told to go back inside. You sit in the classroom and do your work for the rest of class. At the end of the day the principal comes into the class. "Keandre, could you come to my office?" [[Head to the Office]]

"James was caught about to pull the fire alarm." The principal tells you, as you sit in the chair across her desk. "He saws you told him to do it." "I didn't!" You say. "I'd like to believe you, but I just can't. You're a troublemaker, and you always have been." "No I'm not! I didn't do this!" "I don't want to hear it. I just wanted to let you know that'd I'd be calling your mother and telling her what happened. You can go home now." [[Walk home]]

You can't believe you did this! You feel ashamed. Why did you do that? Because James told you to? James is one of the least responsible people you know, even if at heart you know he is a good guy. This was your decision. And you let everyone down. Including your brothers. What kind of a role model are you now? The end. Go back to [[Start]]

Mrs. Smith meets you at the principal's office. "What happened?" The principal asked. "These two pulled the fire alarm." Mrs. Smith answers. "You two! I can't say I'm surprised by James, but you Keandre? What's been happening lately?" "I'm good!" You say. "Really?" Mrs. Smith says. "You've been acting out every day recently! You used to be good, but lately you've been disruptive and rude. Wait until your mother finds out." "Go home." The principal says. "I'll call her now, and you two can talk about it when you get home." [[Head home]]

"No. This is stupid." You walk away. You question yourself a little. What do you have to lose? But you just keep walking. This doesn't feel right. You go back to the room. "Where did you go?" The teacher's aide asks. "The bathroom." She leaves you alone again. Just then the fire alarm goes off. The aid jumps. a few kids scream. You remain silent. "Okay, kids," The aid says, "let's get outside, nice and orderly. Don't run off." The whole school goes outside, then a few minutes later you're told to go back inside. You sit in the classroom and do your work for the rest of class. You go home, just like any other day. [[Go Home Disappointed]]

"What are you doing over here?" You ask James. "You're in the other group." "This is stupid!" He says. "I'm going to do something hilarious. You want to help?" "What?" "I'll tell you if say you'll help me. It'll be funny. I hate this." "No." You say. "I'm having Fun Day." James leaves you alone. You feel like you should tell on him, but he's your friend. You're in a tricky situation. [[Tell on James]] [[Forget What James Said]]

At the end of the day, you're taken back to your classes, where you get your things ready to go home. On the walk home you think about everything recently. You feel like you've done a pretty good job of being responsible. You've been a good role model for your brothers, and that makes you feel nice inside. The end. Go back to [[Start]]

You can't believe this! You didn't do anything! But then, you think, you have been acting out a lot lately. Why would they trust you? You get a reputation based on the way you act, and lately, you haven't been the best. You think about your brothers. What kind of a role model have you been lately? You feel ashamed. The end. Go back to [[Start]]

The next day your mom wakes you up. "Keandre! Wake up. Your alarm's been going off! You're going to be late for school!" You get up and get dressed. You look at your two clean shirts. [[Red]] or [[Blue]]

You put on your red shirt. It's not your favorite, but you decide to mix things up a bit. Next you pick pants. [[Jeans]] or [[Shorts]]

You put on your favorite blue shirt. Next you do pants. [[Jeans]] or [[Shorts]]

It's a little chilly out, so you wear jeans. You don't have any socks, and you don't have time for breakfast, so you just put on your shoes and head out. [[Get to School]]

It's a little cold for shorts, but you're sick of wearing jeans every day. You don't have any socks, and you don't have time for breakfast, so you just put on your shoes and head out. [[Get to School]]

You get to your classroom cubbies and put your backpack in yours. Most of the kids are already almost done getting ready for class. Your friend James comes up to you. "Hi James." You say. "Hi Keandre." He says. He looks a little nervous about something. "I know you said before that you don't have any socks, so I wanted you to have these." He holds up some new looking socks. "My mom got them for me yesterday, but I thought you needed them more than I did." "Thanks." You say, surprised. "No problem." He says. "Come on, it's almost time for class." Go to [[Class]]

At recess, your friend James asks you and a couple others if they want to play tag. You say sure. A boy named Lawrence asks if he can join. He's shy, and looks nervous. "Sure, you can play." James says. "What?" Someone says. You turn and see that it's a boy named Caleb. Caleb is the biggest bully in the class. He's not bad in the actual class, but after class and during recess, he likes to pick on some of the kids, particularly Lawrence. "We're going to let that loser join?" Caleb says. "I'm not a loser." [["Back off Calib"]] [[Do Nothing]]

That afternoon, once you've gotten home from school, you notice your brothers aren't doing their homework. Typically, right after school your mom always makes you all sit down for 30 min and do your work before you can play. You are stuck with the decision to [[Do your homework to set an example]] [[Do something fun instead]]

"What did you say?" Caleb says to you. "I said back off. You're being a jerk." Caleb is bigger than you, and you're fairly nervous. "Don't make me beat you two up. I could take both of you, easy!" [["I'd like to see that!"]] [[Don't Say Anything]]

You don't say anything. Lawrence looks down at the ground. He looks like he's fighting tears. He walks away. You go on and play tag, but you don't feel good about what happened. Would a responsible person have done what you did? You don't feel like they would've. [[That Afternoon]]

Caleb punches you hard in the stomach, but you manage to stay on your feet. "Woah!" James yells. "Get out of here, Caleb!" "Me? Look at these losers!" "I said get out of here!" James repeats. "Yeah," you say, standing tall again, [["Go away!"]]

You step back. "That's what I thought." Caleb says. He turns to the other kids. "Let's not let either of these losers play!" "I think you shouldn't play." Says James. "You're being mean to everyone." "Shut up!" Caleb yells. "You're a loser too!" "All three of us can take you, Caleb." James says. "What?" "We'll win a fight. You can't take us all." He puts his hands up, and steps back. It's true. James is almost as big as Caleb, and with your help, and Lawrence's help, it'd be no contest. [["Go away!"]]

Caleb leaves, looking nervous and confused. "Thanks guys." Lawrence says. "No problem." James says. "That guys a huge jerk, and I don't want him playing if he's going to be like that." [[Play Tag]]

You have fun for the rest of the recess playing tag. You feel good about what you did. You stood up for what is right. Even though your brothers weren't there to see, you're one step closer to being a good role model. [[That Afternoon]]