It's all going well until red and blue lights splash onto the street.\n\nYou look behind you, and are blinded by the police spotlight.\n\n[[OH FUCK!]]

To your surprise, [[she doesn't reject you immediately]]

There's a 30 pack of [[Pabst Blue Ribbon]] on a table next to a [[box of wine]]

In your haste to pull out you slip and fall on your own trousers, leaving Leela laying on the hood still asleep with her panties around her ankles.\n\nJust as you get back on your feet (with your pants now on), you are tackled by a police officer.\n\nYou hit the floor, knocked out by the mass of the [[overweight police officer]]

As you try to get a better look of her, the opening beats of [["I Am a God"|http://www.infinitelooper.com/?v=ViGNBLQpGWE]] blast through the party's speaker box. The startling volume shakes your concentration, and you lose sight of her behind a [[caddy's]] golf bag

As Leela settles into her spot next to you. The only way you can hear what she says over the pounding music is by leaning in close, placing your ear directly next to her mouth. \n\nYou are close enough to [[smell her hair]]

Welcome to another college house party. The theme for tonights party is: Astro Turf Space Golf, whatever that means.\n\nEveryone around you is dressed in spaceman/golfer attire. Astronaut helmets and golf cleats. You get the picture.\n\nYou are dressed as Fry from Futurama.\n\nWhat do you do next?\n[[Get a drink]]\n[[Hide in the bathroom]]

Leela pushes you against the side of your car. As you try to unlock the door, [[you drop your keys]]

"Oh no no no! Wake up!"\n\nStill inside her, you try to wake her up. Its been a while since you've gotten laid, and you're not going to let this night end in another embarasssment. [[You've already been through enough of that]]

And that's when red and blue lights splash onto the street.\n\nYou look behind you, and are blinded by the police spotlight.\n\n[[OH FUCK!]]

You pick up the case, but its empty. Fuck.\n\nDefeated, you now reach for the [[box of wine]]

Thanks to Leela's persistence, a conversation begins to form.\n\nYou both [[take another drink]]

It is not a coincidence then that the passion and depth of your conversation is directly proportional to the amount of alcohol you've both consumed.\n\nLeela in particular is [[severely hammered]] by the end of your talk, but you're not sober either

Rusteen Honardoost

[[And another]]

It is going great.\n\nYou two are totally compatible.\n\nYou stare into her eyes.\n\n[[Then she falls asleep]]

You flip her around, pinning her body against the hood of your car. She lands with an "oof" as the wind is knocked out of her lungs.\n\nYou pull down her pants, kiss her bare ass, and then take off your pants.\n\nYou start fucking her from behind, and your so happy/drunk that you don't notice Leela [[fall asleep]]

You finish your wine and pour another glass, all in an awkward attempt to avoid eye contact with your newest crush.\n\nLeela settles into a spot right next to you, wiping off her tank top with some paper towels.\n\nYou glance over at her, and she looks over at you. She smiles.\n\nShe tries to say something to you, but you can't hear her over the pounding music. She moves closer to you and speaks directly into your ear.\n\nYou [[smell her hair]]

With a sigh you open the door.\n\nThe sanctuary of the toilet is invaded when someone blasts [["I Am a God"|http://www.infinitelooper.com/?v=ViGNBLQpGWE]] on the speaker. The song is so loud it blows your eardrums to smithereans, and in the confusion you accidentally hit an unsuspecting partygoer as you open the door.\n\nWith a dumbstruck look on your face, you notice that the victim of your assault is sporting a purple ponytail with a large cyclopse eye painted on her forehead. [[She is the Turanga Leela to your Phillip Fry.|https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cIYj9IJFhlg]]\n\nShe is gorgeous, and you're instantly smitten.\n\nThen you remember that you just spilled her drink all over the floor and her outfit.\n\nDo you:\n[[Stand there and feel like an idiot]]\n[[Grab some paper towels]]

Astro Turf Space Golf

You wash your face in the sink and fix your hair in the mirror. \nAs you rest your hand on the door handle to leave, you mentally prepare yourself to rejoin the party.\n\nDo you:\n[[Resolve to make the most out of this social experience and return to the party with an open mind.]]\n[[Accept that this party will be as lame as all the others and withdraw from others through sarcasm]]

And three more [[in a row]]

It's this drunken behavior that prompts you to [[put your arm around her]] in a display of psuedo-masculinity

Suddenly, the caddy vomits onto the wall directly over Leela's shoulder.\n\nHe is escorted away by Chewbacca Woods (Chewbacca + Tiger Woods), allowing you to get your first good look at her.\n\nHer purple ponytail bounces around as she frantically searches for a paper towel to clean off the vomit on her shoulder. \n\nEven her shoulders are pretty.\n\nYou're instantly smitten, but that smile drops when she begins to walk right towards you.\n\nWhat do you do?\n[[Avoid eye contact]]\n[[Drink some liquid courage]]

You attempt to reach for your keys, but Leela pins you down against the door so you won't stop [[making out]]

You pick her up, and sit her down on the hood of your car.\n\nShe spreads her legs apart. You push her panties off to the side, exposing her pussy in front of your bulging pants.\n\n[[You two start fucking]]

Your mind races as your social anxiety reaches a fever pitch.\n\nLeela heads into the bathroom to clean up. She returns with a towel and cleans up the spill on the floor.\n\nYou continue to stand paralyzed and feel like an idiot. But before you start to feel too bad, she smiles at you.\n\nYou smile back, but break eye contact.\n\nShe leans in close to tell you something. You [[smell her hair]]

Back inside the party, no one notices what's going on in the driveway.\n\nThe party continues uninterrupted.\n\n[THE END]

She starts making out with you.\n\n[[Then she pulls you by the arm out the front door]]

[[WE GOT YOU NOW, YOU DATE RAPING FUCK!]] he shouts into your ear as the handcuffs wrap around your wrist

With a roll of paper towels in your hand, you clean up the spill as Leela dries off her shirt.\n\nYou apologize profusely, but she can't hear you over Yeezus's pounding bass.\n\nShe leans in close to listen.\n\nYou nervously tell a joke. For some inexplicable reason, she laughs.\n\nShe leans in to tell you her name. You [[smell her hair]]

With a plastered smile on your face you open the door.\n\nThe sanctuary of the toilet is invaded when someone blasts [["I Am a God"|http://www.infinitelooper.com/?v=ViGNBLQpGWE]] on the speaker. The song is so loud it blows your eardrums to smithereans, and in the confusion you accidentally hit an unsuspecting partygoer as you open the door.\n\nWith a dumbstruck look on your face, you notice that the victim of your assault is sporting a purple ponytail with a large cyclopse eye painted on her forehead. [[She is the Turanga Leela to your Phillip Fry|https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cIYj9IJFhlg]]\n\nShe is gorgeous, and you're instantly smitten.\n\nThen you remember that you just spilled her drink all over the floor and her outfit.\n\nDo you:\n[[Stand there and feel like an idiot]]\n[[Grab some paper towels]]

She pulls away, leaving a trail of saliva between your lips.\n\nIn a slurred voice, she says "Fuck me, Fry. Fuck me."\n\nWhat do you do now?\n[[Think it over for a second, considering that maybe you are taking advantage of her]]\n[[Bend her over the car and fuck her from behind]]\n[[Raise her onto the hood and look into her eyes as you fuck.]]

With your back against the wall, you observe the crowd and all their costumes. One costume in particular catches your attention: a giant cyclopse eye painted on a woman's forehead surrounded by dyed purple hair. [[She is the Turanga Leela to your Phillip Fry|https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cIYj9IJFhlg]]\n\nYou crane your head to get a [[better look at her]]

You grab a nearby red cup, turn the nozzle, and a torrent of red wine pours into your cup. You take a sip and retreat back against the wall.\n\nDo you:\n[[Continue being a wallflower]]\n[[Hide in the bathroom]]

Your eyes immediately drop down to your beer to avoid eye contact.\n\nYour deflection of her gaze is unsuccessful because she takes a spot against the wall right next to you.\n\nYou continue to not make eye contact, even when she asks you for some paper towels you are unwittingly blocking her access to.\n\n[[Hand her some paper towels]]

The other officer attempts to wake up the snoring Leela, while you continue to protest your arrest from the back of a squad car.\n\n[[No one can hear you]] over the siren

You're not desperate, but you are horny. The last girl you slept with was your ex, only eight minutes before she broke up with you.\n\nThen Leela sticks her hand down your pants.\n\nNow what do you do?\n\n[[Bend her over the car and fuck her from behind]]\n[[Raise her onto the hood and look into her eyes as you fuck.]]