And three more [[in a row]].

It's all going well until red and blue lights splash onto the street.\n\nYou look behind you, and are blinded by the police spotlight.\n\n[[OH FUCK!]]

You attempt to reach for them, but Leela pins you down against the door so you won't stop [[making out]].

To your surprise, [[she isn't surprised]].

There's a 30 pack of [[Pabst Blue Ribbon]] on a table next to a [[box of wine]].

As Leela settles into her spot next to you. The only way you can hear what she says over the pounding music is by leaning in close. \n\nYou're close enough to [[smell her hair]].

In your haste to pull out you slip and fall on your own trousers, leaving Leela laying on the hood still asleep with her panties around her ankles.\n\nJust as you get back on your feet (with your pants now on), you are tackled by a police officer.\n\nYou hit the floor, knocked out by the mass of the [[overweight police officer]].

Your mind races as your social anxiety reaches a fever pitch.\n\nLeela heads into the bathroom to clean up. She returns with a towel and cleans up the spill on the floor.\n\nYou continue to stand paralyzed and feel like an idiot. But before you start to feel too bad, she smiles at you.\n\nYou smile back, but break eye contact.\n\nShe leans in close to tell you something. You [[smell her hair]]

Its going great.\n\nYou two are totally compatible. You stare into her eyes.\n\n[[Then she falls asleep.]]

Welcome to another college house party. The theme for tonights party is: Astro Turf Space Golf, whatever that means.\n\nEveryone around you is dressed in spaceman/golfer attire. AStronaut helmets and golf cleats. You get the picture.\n\nYou are dressed as [[Fry|http://youtu.be/oa_rfZljMwg?t=2m17s]] from Futurama.\nWhat do you do next?\n[[Get a drink]]\n[[Hide in the bathroom]]

You grab a nearby red cup, turn the nozzle, and an avelanche of red wine pours into your cup. You take a sip and retreat back against the wall.\n\nDo you:\n[[Continue being a wallflower]]\n[[Hide in the bathroom]]

Back inside the party, no one notices what's going on in the driveway.\n\nThe party continues uninterrupted.\n\n[THE END]

As you try to get a better look of her, the opening beats of [["I Am a God"|http://www.infinitelooper.com/?v=ViGNBLQpGWE]] blast through the party's speaker box. The startling volume shakes your concentration, and you lose sight of her behind a [[caddy's]] golf bag.

You pick up the case, but its empty. Fuck.\n\nNow you head for the [[box of wine]].

Thanks to Leela's persistence, a conversation begins to form.\n\nYou both [[take another drink]].

Its not a coincidence then that the passion and depth of your conversation is directly proportional to the amount of alcohol you've both consumed.\n\nLeela in particular is [[severely hammered]] by the end of your talk, but you're not sober either.

Rusteen Honardoost

You flip her around, pinning her face against the hood of your car. You pull down her pants, kiss her bare ass, then pull down your own pants.\n\nYou start fucking her from behind, and your so happy/drunk that you don't notice Leela [[fall asleep]].

You finish your wine and pour another glass, all in an awkward attempt to avoid eye contact with your newest crush.\n\nLeela settles into a spot right next to you, wiping off her tank top with some paper towels.\n\nYou glance over at her, and she looks over at you. She smiles.\n\nShe tries to say something to you, but you can't hear her over the pounding music. She moves closer to you and speaks directly into your ear.\n\nYou [[smell her hair]].

With a sigh you open the door.\n\nThe sanctuary of the toilet is invaded when someone blasts [["I Am a God"|http://www.infinitelooper.com/?v=ViGNBLQpGWE]] on the speaker. The song is so loud it blasts your eardrums to smithereans, and in the confusion you accidentally hit an unsuspecting partygoer as you fling open the door.\n\nWith a dumbstruck look on your face, you notice that the victim of your assault is sporting a purple ponytail with a large cyclopse eye painted on her forehead. [[She is the Turanga Leela to your Phillip Fry|https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cIYj9IJFhlg]]\n\nHer drink has been spilled all over the floor and herself.\n\nDo you:\n[[Stand there and feel like an idiot]]\n[[Grab some paper towels]]

Astro Turf Space Golf

You wash your face in the sink and fix your hair in the mirror. As you rest your hand on the door handle to leave, you mentally prepare yourself to rejoin the party.\n\nDo you:\n[[Resolve to make the most out of this social experience and return to the party with an open mind.]]\n[[Accept that this party will be as lame as all the others and withdraw from others through sarcasm]]

Your eyes immediately drop down to your beer to avoid eye contact, but your deflection of her gaze is unsuccessful because she takes a spot against the wall right next to you.\n\nYou continue to not make eye contact, even when she asks you for some paper towels your unwittingly blocking her access to.\n\n[[Hand her some paper towels.]]

It's this drunken behavior that prompts you to [[put your arm around her]].

Suddenly, the caddy vomits onto the wall directly over Leela's shoulder.\n\nHe is escoreted away by Chewbacca Woods (Chewbacca + Tiger Woods), allowing you to get your first good look at her.\n\nHer purple ponytail bounces around as she frantically searches for a paper towel to clean off the vomit on her shoulder. You're instantly smitten, but that smile drops when she begins to walk right towards you.\n\nWhat do you do?\n[[Avoid eye contact]]\n[[Drink some liquid courage]]

You pick her up, and sit her down on the hood of your car.\n\nShe spreads her legs apart. You push her panties off to the side, exposing her pussy in front of your bulging pants.\n\n[[You two start fucking.]]

In fact, she starts making out with you, [[and then pulls you by the arm out the front door]].

She sticks her hand down your pants.\n\nNow what do you do?\n\n[[*Bend her over the car and fuck her from behind]]\n[[*Raise her onto the hood and look into her eyes as you fuck.]]

[[And another.]]

[[WE GOT YOU NOW, YOU DATE RAPING FUCK!]]

With a roll of paper towels in your hand, you clean up the spill as Leela dries off her shirt.\n\nYou apologize profusely, but she can't hear you over Yeezus's pounding bass.\n\nShe leans in close to listen.\n\nYou nervously tell a joke. For some inexplicable reason, she laughs.\n\nShe leans in to tell you her name. You [[smell her hair]]

"Oh no no no! Wake up!"\n\nStill inside her, you try to wake her up. Its been a while since you've gotten laid, and you're not going to let this night end in another embarasssment. [[You've already been through enough of that.]]

With a plastered smile on your face you open the door.\n\nThe sanctuary of the toilet is invaded when someone blasts [["I Am a God"|http://www.infinitelooper.com/?v=ViGNBLQpGWE]] on the speaker. The song is so loud it blasts your eardrums to smithereans, and in the confusion you accidentally hit an unsuspecting partygoer as you fling open the door.\n\nWith a dumbstruck look on your face, you notice that the victim of your assault is sporting a purple ponytail with a large cyclopse eye painted on her forehead. [[She is the Turanga Leela to your Phillip Fry|https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cIYj9IJFhlg]]\n\nHer drink has been spilled all over the floor and herself.\n\nDo you:\n[[Stand there and feel like an idiot]]\n[[Grab some paper towels]]

And that's when red and blue lights splash onto the street.\n\nYou look behind you, and are blinded by the police spotlight.\n\n[[OH FUCK!]]

She pulls away, leaving a trail of saliva between your lips.\n\nIn a slurred voice, she says "Fuck me, Fry. Fuck me."\n\nWhat do you do now?\n[[Think it over for a second, considering that maybe you're taking advantage of a woman who is too drunk to make decisions]]\n[[Bend her over the car and fuck her from behind]]\n[[Raise her onto the hood and look into her eyes as you fuck.]]

With your back against the wall, you observe the crowd and all their costumes. One costume in particular catches your attention: a giant cyclopes eye painted on a woman's forehead surrounded in dyed purple hair.[[She is the Turanga Leela to your Phillip Fry|https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cIYj9IJFhlg]]\n\nYou crane your head to get a [[better look at her.]]

Leela pushes you against the side of your car. As you try to unlock the door, you [[drop your keys]].

The other officer attempts to wake up the snoring Leela, while you continue to protest your arrest from the back of a squad car.\n\n[[No one can hear you]] over the siren.