Sugarcane

"Are you done?"\n\n<<timedreplace 2s>> <<becomes>>@@text-shadow: 0.1em 0.1em #333;opacity:0.6; Fine, fine. I'll fuck off for a bit, Sylvia Plath.@@<<endtimedreplace>>\n\n<<timedreplace 4s>> <<becomes>>So the shadow hung out in the corner of the room. pet turned to her empty notebook and picked up a pen, "Ok. Just, write [[anything]]."<<endtimedreplace>>\n<<set $wrote = "">><<set $subject = "">><<set $result = "">>

pet walks into the den where Sir is typing in front of his laptop.\n\nHe looks up, eyebrows lifted and furrowed at her expression, <<insert "What is it?">>\n\nShe runs her hands through her hair and grabs a fistful while shaking her head, Does it look like I gained 20 pounds because I can't even fucking fit into anything anymore and I don't even know how it could've happened and the last time I checked the scale-\n\nSir pushes his chair away from the laptop abruptly, cutting off her words. <<insert "Come here">>, he motions to his lap.\n\npet sharply exhales and lets go of her hair, smoothing it out as she walks over to him. She sits in his lap. \n\nHis hand forms a grip around her throat and he presses his forehead against hers, their eyes locking.\n\n<<insert "We've talked about this, pet. I gave you a warning last time. You will">>, he squeezes hard around her throat, <<insert "n e v e r">> talk about yourself like this.\n\npet's eyes glaze, vision tunneling as her breath escapes with his every word.\n\n<<insert "You belong to me. This body belongs to me. And this is the most beautiful body I've ever had.">>\n\n<<insert "Do. You. Understand?">>\n\nShe quickly nods, feeling her cheeks getting hotter, eyes water and blur.\n\n<<insert "Say it.">>\n\n<<insert "I underst">>, she mutters, <<insert "I understan-">>\n\n<<insert "Say you're my gorgeous slut.">>\n\nChoking between words, pet obeys.\n\nSir lets go slowly, and presses his lips [[against her throat.|firstintro]]\n<<set $readBelong = true>>\n<<endinsert>><<endinsert>><<endinsert>><<endinsert>><<endinsert>><<endinsert>><<endinsert>><<endinsert>><<endinsert>><<endinsert>>

\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n@@font-size:200%; Here, take [[these|medicine]] to ease the anxiety.@@\n\n

<<singlebgm Sw_2tV4oirI 0>>\n\n\n\n\n[img[https://31.media.tumblr.com/a3dd17a47e04e75d4c2f3b8b0a49127b/tumblr_my83gsMwlN1sy90gno1_400.png]]\n\n\n<<timedgoto "downtime" 4s >>\n

pet washes down the taste of beer with cold water, and stumbles back to her desk.\n\nThe <<print $wrote>> about <<print $subject>> is [[gone|leather]].

\n\n\nseven<<timedgoto "five" 2s>>

<<nobr>>\n<<if $porn eq "multi-orgasmic submissive anal slut">><<display "cooldownanal">><<endif>>\n<<if $porn eq "face-fucked by her mistress's giant dildo">><<display "cooldownmistress">><<endif>>\n<<if $porn eq "gorgeous slave gets cattle prodded">><<display "cooldownelectro">><<endif>>\n<<endnobr>>

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Patient Name: @@background-color:black;color:black; |||||||||||||||||||@@\nDate of Birth: @@background-color:black;color:black; 00/00/0000@@\nGender: F\n\nHow long treating this patient: 7 months\n\nDiagnosis: Post-traumatic stress disorder, major anxiety disorder\n\nHistory: Sexual assault, domestic abuse\n\nRisk of self-injury: Moderate\n\n[[I see|intro]]<<set $readIssues = true>>

It's freeing.\n\nIt gives her back the time she lost when a man named @@background-color:black;color:black; ||||||||||||||@@ poisoned her drink.\n\nAnd why sometimes [[pet|trapped3]]

You see <<replace "a girl">><<display "girl">><<endreplace>>\n\nYou go outside. <<continue "Next.">>The sun blinds you momentarily.<<continue "Next.">>Has it been so long?\n\nI find it <<insert "repugnant">>that he's made such comments<<endinsert>>.

pet enters the room to see Sir sitting on the end of their bed.\n\n<<insert "Crawl">>, he orders.\n\nShe sinks to her knees where the hardwood floor presses against her skin, and slowly moves toward him on all fours.\n\n<<insert "Look at me, pet.">>\n\nHer eyes lift from the floor to meet his, and he reaches out his hand to grip her by the chin.\n\nWith his other hand, he runs a finger down the side of her cheek.\n\nHe traces her pout with the tip of his finger.\n\n<<insert "You're gorgeous, pet.">>\n\nHer lips curve upwards and part to thank him, but he forces his thumb through her teeth and pulls her jaw towards him.\n\nHer eyes widen and she lets out a whimper at the sudden movement.\n\nThe tip of her nose barely touching his, and the sound of her racing heartbeat thumping in her ears.\n\n[[Now show me what this mouth can do.|firstintro]]<<set $readPainfully = true>>\n<<endinsert>><<endinsert>><<endinsert>>

Dr. ''DIXON'' made a good point. Writing can help me release some of these emotions.\n\n<<timedreplace 3s>> <<becomes>>@@text-shadow: 0.1em 0.1em #333;opacity:0.6; You're a pretty shit writer, though.@@<<endtimedreplace>>\n\n<<timedreplace 5s>> <<becomes>>pet grinds grinds her teeth into each other, "That doesn't matter. It's not about good writing. I'm just writing whatever comes to my mind.<<endtimedreplace>>\n\n<<timedreplace 8s>> <<becomes>>@@text-shadow: 0.1em 0.1em #333;opacity:0.6; Ok. Well, let me give you a haiku.@@<<endtimedreplace>>\n\n<<timedreplace 10s>> <<becomes>>Annunciating every syllable on each finger after clearing her throat, [[the shadow announces|haiku]]<<endtimedreplace>>

\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n@@font-size:200%;Isn't that better?@@\n\n<<timedgoto "allbetter" 2.5s >>

<<nobr>>\n<<if $porn eq "multi-orgasmic submissive anal slut">><<display "analslut">><<endif>>\n<<if $porn eq "face-fucked by her mistress's giant dildo">><<display "mistress">><<endif>>\n<<if $porn eq "gorgeous slave gets cattle prodded">><<display "electro">><<endif>>\n<<endnobr>>

<<if $foundleather and $foundmetal and $madeleash>>[[What's this?|assembly]]<<else>>@@color:#705e14; and so pet continues to find comfort in [[another place|elevator]]@@<<endif>>

The boiling water pours over the coffee grounds and fills the room with its stimulating aroma.\n\nSometimes the smell woke her up.\n\nOther times it made her remember the waiting room of the abused women's center.\n\nShe went there after after leaving @@background-color:black;color:black; ||||||||||||||@@.\n\n@@text-shadow: 0.1em 0.1em #333;opacity:0.6; I hated that [[place]].@@

@@color:#705e14; Inhale.@@\n\n@@color:#705e14; Ah, such an important pose that is all about <<cyclinglink $pose "strength" "beauty" "stability" "grounding" "heart">>.@@\n\n@@color:#705e14; As you extend your arms through your fingers, picture yourself <<cyclinglink $picture "on an island" "in a garden" "on a boat" "in your lover's arms" "in a hammock" "in your favourite memory">>.@@\n\n@@color:#705e14; Feel yourself in this pose. Feel as you are one with <<cyclinglink $one "nature" "peace" "your core values" "your mind" "your instincts">>.@@\n\n@@color:#705e14;aaaaaand [[exhale|warrior2]].@@

@@text-shadow: 0.1em 0.1em #333;opacity:0.6; Textbook coping mechanism.@@\n\n"Shhhhut ahp," pet slurs to the two shadows in her vision. \n\nShe enjoys this state of blurry objects and [[rapid thinking|rapid]].

@@color:#ffb3b3; Her limbs twitch, her breath shakes, her skin flushes.\n\nHer eyes are still glued to the strawberry blonde begging her Mistress to cum as her body cools down.\n\nIt's then she notices the shadow is in the room.@@\n\n@@color:#ffb3b3;text-shadow: 0.1em 0.1em #333;opacity:0.7; How do you [[do it?|shadoquestion]]@@\n

pet jumped in her chair, waking from an unexpected doze.\n\nHer eyes blinked twice and focused her attention on her phone.\n\n<<timedreplace 3s>> <<becomes>>//Hey, love. Still on for a movie tonight?//<<endtimedreplace>>\n\n<<timedreplace 5s>> <<becomes>>//Can't wait. I'll be done at the office around 5 today.//<<endtimedreplace>>\n\n<<timedreplace 7s>> <<becomes>>//That's much earlier than usual! I'll pick up some wine and then come get you. Shiraz?//<<endtimedreplace>>\n\n<<timedreplace 9s>> <<becomes>>//Ugh. Yes please. 40 bottles?//<<endtimedreplace>>\n\n<<timedreplace 11s>> <<becomes>>//Haha. I love you. I'll see if I have enough cash for 40. ;)//<<endtimedreplace>>\n\n<<timedreplace 13s>> <<becomes>>//You're the best. See you soon! xx// <<set $readDowntime = true>><<endtimedreplace>>\n\n<<timedreplace 15s>> <<becomes>>[[pet counts the minutes down.|firstintro]]<<endtimedreplace>>

<<set $readShadow = true>>\s\n<<if visited("shadow") > 1>>@@text-shadow: 0.1em 0.1em #333;opacity:0.5; Where do you want to go today, fuckskull? We don't have fucking time for this. [[Let's go.|hallway]]@@<<else>>\n<<timedreplace 3s >>The girl looked like pet<<becomes>>[img[https://24.media.tumblr.com/9749a8c1b3a69944a8a8b2cd958ad05e/tumblr_mz65i1FGSm1sy90gno3_500.png]]<<endtimedreplace>>\n\n<<timedreplace 6s >> <<becomes>>If pet was looking in a mirror covered in dust and ash.<<endtimedreplace>>\n\n<<timedreplace 8s >> <<becomes>>She sounded like pet after a carton of cigarettes and a bottle of whiskey.<<endtimedreplace>>\n\n<<timedreplace 10s >> <<becomes>>@@text-shadow: 0.1em 0.1em #333;opacity:0.5; It's about time you woke up. Jesus, fuck. Drink another bottle of wine before bed last night?@@<<endtimedreplace>>\n\n<<timedreplace 12s >> <<becomes>>@@text-shadow: 0.1em 0.1em #333;opacity:0.5; Pick a [[floor|hallway]] already, will you?@@<<endtimedreplace>><<endif>>

A flat lighter with a heart engraved into its silver plate stares back at her.\n\n@@background-color:black;color:black; ||||||||||||||@@ had given it to her for an anniversary.\n\nShe flips the top of the lighter open and brings the orange flame closer into her cupped hand.\n\nThe sound of the disintegrating tip followed by the lid closing with a //click//.\n\n[[she thinks about|b]] @@background-color:black;color:black; ||||||||||||||@@

\n\n\n\n @@font-size:500%; condition@@\n\n<<timedgoto "trapped" 2.5s >>

Instead a short piece of <<set $foundleather = "true">>black matte leather sits on the chestnut desk.\n\nShe picks it up and runs her thumb against the soft material.\n\n<<timedreplace 4s>> <<becomes>>[img[https://24.media.tumblr.com/96201103bc83f228020dfd8b292f37ae/tumblr_mz65i1FGSm1sy90gno5_500.png]]<<endtimedreplace>>\n\n<<timedreplace 6s>> <<becomes>>She tucks the leather strip into her back pocket and heads toward the [[door|exitsecond]].<<endtimedreplace>>

@@color:#705e14; Inhale.@@\n\n@@color:#705e14; pet ignores the flicker of the shadow's lighter.@@\n\n@@color:#705e14; Lengthen your spine, and imagine your tailbone reaching high to your <<cyclinglink $dream "potential" "creativity" "true self" "goals" "desires" "inner child">>.@@\n\n@@color:#705e14; Push your thighs and resist <<cyclinglink $fear "your insecurities" "negative self-talk" "your failures" "your nightmares" "your addictions" "your hatreds">>.@@\n\n@@color:#705e14; With your heels urging to meet the floor, unleash your <<cyclinglink $limit "demons" "love" "past" "expectations" "labels" "pain">>.@@\n\n@@color:#705e14;aaaaaand [[exhale|downward2]].@@

@@color:#ffb3b3; pet chooses a video@@\n\n<<cyclinglink $porn "multi-orgasmic submissive anal slut" "face-fucked by her mistress's giant dildo" "gorgeous slave gets cattle prodded">>\n\n@@color:#ffb3b3; and slicks her asshole with a slippery [[finger dipped in lube|lube]]@@

\n\n\n\n\n\n@@font-size:200%; to an abnormal situation.@@\n\n<<timedgoto "help" 2s >>

\n\n\n\n[img[https://24.media.tumblr.com/869c3bfb2d3e56e8850138b0a8473930/tumblr_mzxss0AWAs1sy90gno1_500.png][cooldown]]

"I think I should get some writing done."\n\n<<timedreplace 3s>> <<becomes>>@@text-shadow: 0.1em 0.1em #333;opacity:0.5; Ohhh, this is the writing that Dr. Dickface recommended? Your, uhh, [[journal?|writing]]@@<<endtimedreplace>>

with other partners.\n\n<<timedgoto "b3" 2s>>

But it's okay. \n\nIt had been years since the last time @@background-color:black;color:black; ||||||||||||||@@ was a physical threat.\n\npet throws the lighter into the naked branches and puts the cigarette out against the sill where it originally sat. \n\nshe heads back to the [[desk|notepad]].

tousled black waves that frame large eyes\n\na cigarette usually dangled from her lips\n\nshe called herself pet\n\n[[Okay|intro]]<<set $readGirl = true>>

<<timedreplace 1s>> <<becomes>>@@color:#ffb3b3; How do@@<<endtimedreplace>>\n<<timedreplace 2s>> <<becomes>>@@color:#ffb3b3;font-size:150%; closer@@<<endtimedreplace>>\n<<timedreplace 3s>> <<becomes>>@@color:#ffb3b3; you tell someone@@<<endtimedreplace>>\n<<timedreplace 4s>> <<becomes>>@@color:#ffb3b3;font-size:200%; closer@@<<endtimedreplace>>\n<<timedreplace 5s>> <<becomes>>@@color:#ffb3b3; you want them to@@<<endtimedreplace>>\n<<timedreplace 6s>> <<becomes>>@@color:#ffb3b3;font-size:250%; CLOSER@@<<endtimedreplace>>\n<<timedreplace 7s>> <<becomes>>@@color:#ffb3b3; really hurt you@@<<endtimedreplace>>\n<<timedreplace 8s>> <<becomes>>@@color:#ffb3b3;font-size:300%; FUCK@@<<endtimedreplace>>\n<<timedgoto "orgasm" 9s>>

tousled black waves that frame large eyes, pet stands on the tip of her toes to kiss Sir <<set $readPet = true>>\n\n[[back|firstintro]]\n

\n\n\n\n@@font-size:170%; Are you familiar with the "fight or flight" response?@@\n\n\n<<timedgoto "many" 3s >>

@@color:#ffb3b3; Her limbs twitch, her breath shakes, her skin flushes.\n\nHer eyes are still glued to the woman being electrified while a vibrating wand teases her cunt.\n\nIt's then she notices the shadow is in the room.@@\n\n@@color:#ffb3b3;text-shadow: 0.1em 0.1em #333;opacity:0.7; How do you [[do it?|shadoquestion]]@@\n

\n\n\n\n\n\n[img[https://24.media.tumblr.com/660ca1a2d39fb4270358d5e72115f722/tumblr_my71uskeED1sy90gno2_500.png]]\n\n<<timedgoto "better" 4s >>

\n\n@@font-size:200%; We call this@@\n\n\n<<timedgoto "normal" 2s >>

The pieces fit together. <<set $foundleather = true>><<set $foundmetal = true>><<set $madeleash = true>>\n\nLeather ties and knots through the metal pendant fits snug around her neck.\n\n<<timedreplace 5s>> <<becomes>>[img[https://24.media.tumblr.com/d355036315473a8d06f64ed29a1eea14/tumblr_mz65i1FGSm1sy90gno4_500.png]]<<endtimedreplace>>\n\n<<timedreplace 8s>> <<becomes>>A button appears on the [[elevator]] that wasn't there before.<<endtimedreplace>>

<<set document.title = "reProgram">>

<<set $readfriendship = true>>\n@@text-shadow: 0.1em 0.1em #333;opacity:0.5; I actually //did// like your <<print $wrote>> about <<print $subject>>. It was [[inspiring|firstintro]].@@

<<nobr>>\n<<if $next eq "coffee">><<display "coffeedone">><<endif>>\n<<if $next eq "smoke">><<display "smokedone">><<endif>>\n<<if $next eq "drink">><<display "drinkdone">><<endif>>\n<<endnobr>>

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made in [[twine 1.4|http://twinery.org/]]\n\nmost photography is mine; edited with photoshop & [[glitch images|http://snorpey.github.io/jpg-glitch/]]\n\nsome images are from [[flickr: the commons|http://www.flickr.com/commons]] (notably [[this|http://www.flickr.com/photos/field_museum_library/4586899339/]] & [[this|http://www.flickr.com/photos/statelibraryqueensland/7946598698/]])\n\nyou can find more of my work [[here|http://pixie-mania.com]] and follow me on [[twitter|http://www.twitter.com/pixiemania]] & [[tumblr|http://notexactlysober.tumblr.com]]\n\nspecial thanks to \n\n[[dames making games|http://dmg.to]] for their welcoming community & constant support\n\n[[leon arnott|http://l.j-factor.com/]] for helpful & thorough twine tutorials \n\n[[back|Start]]\n

But it's okay. \n\nIt's been a while since she had to face group therapy. \n\n@@text-shadow: 0.1em 0.1em #333;opacity:0.6; It's fucked to get impostor syndrome about that.@@\n\nNo shit.\n\n"Speaking of impostor syndrome, I should get back to [[that piece|notepad]]."

@@color:#ffb3b3; pet pushes the plug into her ass while watching a strawberry blonde lick the strapon <<insert "of her Mistress">>.\n\nShe sharply gasps and bites her bottom lip. Like the strawberry blonde, she wishes she had <<insert "a lover">> who would roughly fuck her throat and make her gag while <<insert "ordering her to take that cock deeper">>.\n\npet rubs her clit with the vibrator after the plug reached <<insert "its limit">>.\n\nCircling the vibrator, she bucks her hips <<insert "forward">>.\n\nShe watches the the strawberry blonde drool and choke over the strapon, her Mistress <<insert "holding a fist of her long hair">>.\n\nShe was getting [[closer]].<<endinsert>><<endinsert>><<endinsert>><<endinsert>><<endinsert>><<endinsert>>

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\n\n[img[https://31.media.tumblr.com/f2673cd1f2bc4644fca3c294ef33192d/tumblr_mziwvjsh2P1sy90gno1_500.png]]\n\n<<timedreplace 3s>> <<becomes>>Maybe an hour passed, or two, and pet had written a <<cyclinglink $wrote "poem" "diary entry" "blog post" "short story">> about <<cyclinglink $subject "forgiveness" "insomnia" "relationships" "anger">>. \n\nA wave of <<cyclinglink $result "aggravation" "guilt" "self-loathing" "indifference">> washed over her.\n\nThe shadow [[noticed]].<<endtimedreplace>><<set $next = "">>

@@font-size:200%; Many with your@@\n\n<<timedgoto "condition" 2.5s >>

pet chugs the last bit of her coffee and heads back to the desk.\n\nThe <<print $wrote>> about <<print $subject>> is [[gone|leather]].

Me too, pet thought.\n\nThe one-on-one with a counsellor was okay, but group therapy was exhausting.\n\nThe women who overshared every detail of their lives shut her up even more.\n\nThe women who were still with their abusers broke her heart.\n\nThe women whose children were involved made her feel like her problems couldn't even compare.\n\nIt's why pet [[sometimes|trapped4]]

pet walks over to the lone window in the room and unlocks it, pushing it forward to let in a cool breeze.\n\nStaring into a grey field filled with naked branches, she brings a cigarette up to her lips with one hand while patting her denim pockets with the other to find a lighter.\n\n@@text-shadow: 0.1em 0.1em #333;opacity:0.6; The [[sill]].@@

<<timedreplace 2s>> <<becomes>>A leash only pulls too hard<<endtimedreplace>>\n\n<<timedreplace 4s>> <<becomes>>If the wrong lover masters it<<endtimedreplace>>\n\n<<timedreplace 6s>> <<becomes>>Waiting at the first floor for pet was Sir<<endtimedreplace>>\n\n<<timedgoto "firstintro" 10s>>

@@color:#705e14; The shadow snorts.@@\n\n<<timedreplace 2s>> <<becomes>>@@color:black;text-shadow: 0.1em 0.1em #333;opacity:0.8; Really? You're <<print $ani>> that is <<print $adj>> and that makes you feel <<print $feel>>?@@<<endtimedreplace>>\n\n<<timedreplace 5s>> <<becomes>>@@color:black;text-shadow: 0.1em 0.1em #333;opacity:0.8; Can we have a smoke now?@@<<endtimedreplace>>\n\n<<timedreplace 8s>> <<becomes>>@@color:#705e14; On cue, the instructor exhales from plank pose and pushes back into [[downward-facing dog|downward]].@@<<endtimedreplace>>\n\n<<set $dream = "">><<set $fear = "">><<set $limit = "">>

\n\n\n\n@@font-size:200%; And your family?@@\n\n\n<<timedgoto "loved" 2.5s >>

[img[https://24.media.tumblr.com/7c648b2ad8ddcfba2aad8fda51a382d4/tumblr_mvvegh80Wk1sy90gno1_500.png]]\n\na story about personal kinks and meditation\nmay contain triggers (abuse, PTSD) \nplease be safe\n\n@@font-size:250%; re''P''rogram | [[begin|intro]] | [[credits]]@@

Once upon a time there was a [[pet]] and her <<if $readPet>>[[Sir]]<<else>>Sir<<endif>>\n<<if $readSir and $readPet>>\nThey love each other [[painfully]]<<endif>>\n<<if $readPainfully>>\nThey destroy each other [[beautifully]]<<endif>>\n<<if $readBeautifully>>\nAnd on even their [[days off|text]]<<endif>>\n<<if $readDowntime>>\nThey still knew they belonged to [[each other|belong]]<<endif>>\n<<if $readBelong>>\nThe shadow is still stuck around in the tower [[sometimes|shado]]<<endif>>\n<<if $readshadow>>\nBut in a strange turn of events, she and pet [[became friends]] over time<<endif>>\n<<if $readfriendship>>\nThis is how pet survived.\n\n\n\n<<timedreplace 3s>> <<becomes>>[[And she lived happily ever after.|credits]]<<endtimedreplace>>\n<<endif>>

<<nobr>>\n<<if $next eq "coffee">><<display "coffee">><<endif>>\n<<if $next eq "smoke">><<display "smoke">><<endif>>\n<<if $next eq "drink">><<display "drink">><<endif>>\n<<endnobr>>

\n\n\n @@font-size:200%; Does it make you tense?@@\n\n\n<<timedgoto "understandable" 2.5s >>\n

@@color:#ffb3b3; Does this type of self-care help? pet wonders every time she's in this dimly-lit room. \n\nShe heads towards her nightstand and opens the drawer to pick out her favourite toys.@@\n\n<<timedreplace 5s>> <<becomes>>[img[https://31.media.tumblr.com/f6aafca7f6e9c8e7bd70c9a118154eca/tumblr_mzxss0AWAs1sy90gno2_500.png]]<<endtimedreplace>>\n\n<<timedreplace 7s>> <<becomes>>@@color:#ffb3b3; She grabs her laptop off the floor, and [[sets it on her bed|porn]].@@<<endtimedreplace>>

<<set $madeleash = "true">>@@color:#ffb3b3; Instead a long strip of leather sits in its former place, almost embedded into the comforter.\n\nShe picks up the black material and feels its softness in her palms. She wraps it around her hand.@@\n\n<<timedreplace 4s>> <<becomes>>[img[https://24.media.tumblr.com/d242bcbda52efa7ddb742c7d77d079b0/tumblr_n0ys88HB8y1sy90gno1_500.png]]<<endtimedreplace>>\n\n<<timedreplace 7s>> <<becomes>>@@color:#ffb3b3; She wraps the leather strip around her waist and heads toward the [[door|exitfourth]].<<endtimedreplace>>

\ntwo beers\n\n<<timedgoto "three" 2s>>

<<if visited("fourth")>>[img[https://31.media.tumblr.com/4a7b0e0a696c450778acf1f1720606a1/tumblr_n0zsgvySAP1sy90gno1_250.png]]<<else>>[img[https://24.media.tumblr.com/a7c5fbd745ec4b8dcb194798177d5aa5/tumblr_mz65i1FGSm1sy90gno2_250.png][fourth]]<<endif>>\n<<if visited("third")>>[img[https://31.media.tumblr.com/66524564f8180ae8e6639753069a9087/tumblr_n0zsgvySAP1sy90gno3_250.png]]<<else>>[img[https://31.media.tumblr.com/03fb3261d06107819462f874c5c3ad5f/tumblr_mz65i1FGSm1sy90gno8_250.png][third]]<<endif>>\n<<if visited("second")>>[img[https://31.media.tumblr.com/10b5fb178ee262ede2de8b76bab1ec4e/tumblr_n0zsgvySAP1sy90gno2_250.png]]<<else>>[img[https://31.media.tumblr.com/d087d071c24ab473aaa0df9b7cff73e7/tumblr_mz65i1FGSm1sy90gno7_250.png][second]]<<endif>>\n<<if $foundleather and $foundmetal and $madeleash>>[img[https://31.media.tumblr.com/f8c6df23762537c2e5bb4fe70a57f787/tumblr_mz65i1FGSm1sy90gno1_250.png][first]]<<endif>>

@@text-shadow: 0.1em 0.1em #333;opacity:0.6;Oh, hello. There's that <<print $result>> I'm used to seeing. What's up, buttercup? Did your <<print $wrote>> about <<print $subject>> not work out? Maybe because you're the last person who should give advice on <<print $subject>>?@@\n\n<<timedreplace 3s>> <<becomes>>pet needed a break.<<endtimedreplace>>\n\n<<timedreplace 5s>> <<becomes>>"I'm going to have a <<cyclinglink $next "coffee" "smoke" "drink">>," she said to the shadow in her [[peripheral vision|next]].<<endtimedreplace>>

\n\n\n\n\n\nstuck in a <<timedreplace 2s>>tower<<becomes>>[[t o w e r]]<<endtimedreplace>>

pet exhales the last drag of smoke out the window and heads back to her desk.\n\nThe <<print $wrote>> about <<print $subject>> is [[gone|leather]].

@@font-size:950%; \nCAN \n\nFEEL \n\nTRAPPED@@\n<<timedgoto "okay" 1s >>

<<if $foundleather and $foundmetal and $madeleash>>[[What's this?|assembly]]<<else>>@@color:#ffb3b3;and so pet continues to find comfort in [[another place|elevator]]<<endif>>

\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n@@font-size:200%; That's understandable.@@\n\n<<timedgoto "fight or flight" 2.5s >>

@@font-size:200%; How are things?@@\n\n\n<<timedgoto "things" 2.5s >>

[img[https://24.media.tumblr.com/cf44597fe7d3e7dc2d452162461416d3/tumblr_mzbpevMdCW1sy90gno1_500.png]]\n\n<<timedreplace 4s>> <<becomes>>@@color:#705e14; Welcome, the instructor's soothing voice fades in@@<<endtimedreplace>>\n\n<<timedreplace 7s>> <<becomes>>@@color:black;text-shadow: 0.1em 0.1em #333;opacity:0.8; Don't you find her fucking creepy?@@<<endtimedreplace>>\n\n<<timedreplace 9s>> <<becomes>>@@color:#705e14; pet shoots the shadow a glare and through gritted teeth whispers, "let's just try this, okay?"@@<<endtimedreplace>>\n\n<<timedreplace 12s>> <<becomes>>@@color:#705e14; Ignoring their whispers the instructor begins,@@ [["now let's ground our feet with mountain pose."|mountain]] @@color:#705e14; It's unclear whether she can even hear them. Sometimes they suspect she's a hologram programmed with pre-recorded messages.@@<<endtimedreplace>>\n<<silently>>\n<<set $adj = "">>\n<<set $ani = "">>\n<<set $feel = "">>\n<<endsilently>>

\n\n\n\n@@font-size:200%; Any romantic partners?@@\n\n\n<<timedgoto "sleeping" 2.5s >>

Particularly, how violent @@background-color:black;color:black; ||||||||||||||@@ became after too many drinks.\n\nHow @@background-color:black;color:black; ||||||||||||||@@ would erratically drive before pet put her seatbelt on and as a result her head would smack against the car window.\n\nAnd why sometimes [[pet|trapped2]]

\n\nand three will turn into\n\n<<timedgoto "four" 2s>>

<<set $readGuide = true>>@@color:#a78529; 4th FLOOR:@@ PHYSICAL RELEASE ROOM (You are here.)\n@@color:#a78529; 3rd FLOOR:@@ MEDITATION ROOM\n@@color:#a78529; 2nd FLOOR:@@ CREATIVITY ROOM\n@@color:#a78529; 1ST FLOOR:@@ [CLOSED FOR RENOVATIONS]\n\nThe girl was breathing down pet's neck, like a pesky shadow. \n\n@@text-shadow: 0.1em 0.1em #333;opacity:0.5; How many times do you have to look at this fucking thing? Don't you know where [[shit|hallway]] is by now?@@

a deep voice attached to hands that slap and caress, Sir presses pet to his chest <<set $readSir = true>>\n\n[[back|firstintro]]

But it's okay. \n\nIt had been years since the last time @@background-color:black;color:black; ||||||||||||||@@ was a sexual threat.\n\n<<timedreplace 4s>> <<becomes>>@@text-shadow: 0.1em 0.1em #333;opacity:0.6; I'm not the best advice-giver, but maybe have some of this water and sober the fuck up a bit before going back to your [[desk|notepad]].@@<<endtimedreplace>>

@@text-shadow: 0.1em 0.1em #333;opacity:0.6;\n<<timedreplace 2s>> <<becomes>>once<<endtimedreplace>> <<timedreplace 3s>> <<becomes>>i<<endtimedreplace>> <<timedreplace 4s>> <<becomes>>was<<endtimedreplace>> <<timedreplace 5s>> <<becomes>>ab-<<endtimedreplace>><<timedreplace 6s>> <<becomes>>used<<endtimedreplace>>\n\n<<timedreplace 7s>> <<becomes>>it<<endtimedreplace>> <<timedreplace 8s>> <<becomes>>made<<endtimedreplace>> <<timedreplace 9s>> <<becomes>>me<<endtimedreplace>> <<timedreplace 10s>> <<becomes>>feel<<endtimedreplace>> <<timedreplace 11s>> <<becomes>>real-<<endtimedreplace>><<timedreplace 12s>> <<becomes>>ly<<endtimedreplace>> <<timedreplace 13s>> <<becomes>>bad<<endtimedreplace>>\n\n<<timedreplace 14s>> <<becomes>>now<<endtimedreplace>> <<timedreplace 15s>> <<becomes>>i<<endtimedreplace>> <<timedreplace 16s>> <<becomes>>drink<<endtimedreplace>> <<timedreplace 17s>> <<becomes>>a<<endtimedreplace>> <<timedreplace 18s>> <<becomes>>lot<<endtimedreplace>>@@\n\n<<timedgoto "haiku2" 20s>>

\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n@@font-size:200%; Have you been sleeping?@@\n\n<<timedgoto "symptoms" 2.5s >>

\n\n\n\n\n\nand woke up every day to the same long hallway<<timedgoto "hallway" 4s>>

Once upon a time there was a [[girl]]\n\n<<if $readGirl>>pet had some [[issues]]<<endif>>\n\n<<if $readIssues>>She had seen many [[doctors]]<<endif>>\n\n<<if $readBetter>>But she was still [[stuck]]<<endif>>

Sweat-drenched bodies collapse and heave. \n\nSir loosens the belt around her neck.\n\nBlack tears run down pet's face, mascara mixing with the spit and cum smeared on her cheeks and lips.\n\nHis arms wrap around her, pulling her back closer to his chest, and kisses her neck. \n\nHis hands linger on the handprints they left behind.\n\nWhen her tears stop flowing and breath begins to stabilize, he squeezes her even tighter.\n\n<<insert "I love you">>, he says. \n\nShe smiles and kisses the forearm wrapped around her, [[I love you too.|firstintro]]<<set $readBeautifully = true>>\n<<endinsert>>

@@color:#705e14; Inhale.@@\n\n@@color:#705e14; You are <<cyclinglink $adj "strong" "tall" "glorious" "beautiful" "majestic" "fearsome">>.@@\n\n@@color:#705e14; While you firm your thigh muscles, you are <<cyclinglink $ani "a lion" "a gazelle" "a giraffe" "a grasshopper" "a rhino beetle" "an ostrich">>.@@\n\n@@color:#705e14; You balance the crown of your head over the center of your pelvis. You are feeling <<cyclinglink $feel "radiant" "confident" "calm" "awake" "focused" "relieved">>.@@\n\n@@color:#705e14;aaaaaand [[exhale|mountain2]].@@

\n\n@@font-size:200%; How is school?@@\n\n\n<<timedgoto "family" 2.5s >>

with sexual partners.\n\n<<timedgoto "seven" 2s>>

@@color:#ffb3b3; Her limbs twitch, her breath shakes, her skin flushes.\n\nHer eyes are still glued to the brunette begging to cum as her body cools down.\n\nIt's then she notices the shadow is in the room.@@\n\n@@color:#ffb3b3;text-shadow: 0.1em 0.1em #333;opacity:0.7; How do you [[do it?|shadoquestion]]@@\n

I'm feeling stressed out and pent up. I need some time alone.\n\n<<timedreplace 3s>> <<becomes>>@@text-shadow: 0.1em 0.1em #333;opacity:0.5; Feeling like a little pervert, huh? I'll give you some [[privacy]] so you can release some uh, tension.@@<<endtimedreplace>>

with other abuse survivors.\n\n<<timedgoto "survivors2" 2s>>

@@color:#ffb3b3; pet pushes the plug into her ass while watching a hooded woman tied to each corner <<insert "of a bedpost">>.\n\nShe sharply gasps and bites her bottom lip. Like the woman, she wishes she had <<insert "a lover">> who would tease her with electricity until she screamed, <<insert "ordering her to beg for mercy">>.\n\npet rubs her clit with the vibrator after the plug reached <<insert "its limit">>.\n\nCircling the vibrator, she bucks her hips <<insert "forward">>.\n\nShe watches the the woman scream with each zap hitting her skin, <<insert "struggling against the restraints">>.\n\nShe was getting [[closer]].<<endinsert>><<endinsert>><<endinsert>><<endinsert>><<endinsert>><<endinsert>>

The hallway had an <<if $readShadow and $readGuide>>[[elevator]]<<else>>elevator<<endif>>\n\n<<if $readShadow>>Beside it was a [[guide]]<<endif>>\n\nAnd a [[girl|shadow]] at the far end waiting for her every morning

@@font-size:200%; And that's okay.@@\n\n<<timedgoto "we" 3s >>

\n\n\n\n@@font-size:200%; a normal reaction@@\n\n<<timedgoto "abnormal" 2s >>\n

one beer usually becomes\n\n<<timedgoto "two" 2s>>

@@color:#ffb3b3; Matching the rhythm of a hogtied brunette being fucked, pet pushes the plug into her ass <<insert "rougher than usual">>.\n\nShe sharply gasps and bites her bottom lip. Like the brunette, she wishes she had <<insert "a lover">> who would slap her face hard, pull her hair back, and <<insert "call her a dirty, fucking slut">>.\n\npet rubs her clit with the vibrator after the plug reached <<insert "its limit">>.\n\nCircling the vibrator, she bucks her hips <<insert "forward">>.\n\nShe watches the brunette's Dom squeeze her throat and <<insert "spit on her face">>.\n\nShe was getting [[closer]].<<endinsert>><<endinsert>><<endinsert>><<endinsert>><<endinsert>><<endinsert>>

@@color:#ffb3b3; Running hot water over the toys, pet looks at herself in the mirror for a while.\n\nViolence is satisfying when you actually ask for it, she thinks to her reflection.\n\nShe turns the tap off, and heads over to where her laptop sat on the bed.\n\n[[But it wasn't there.|longleather]]

@@font-size:950%; \nARE \n\nYOU\n\nBETTER @@\n\n<<set $readBetter = true>><<timedgoto "intro" 1s >>

"I need some time to clear my head and calm my thoughts."\n\n<<timedreplace 3s>> <<becomes>>@@text-shadow: 0.1em 0.1em #333;opacity:0.5; Oh, great. That means we get to see that [[weird thing|instructor]] with a plant for a face?@@<<endtimedreplace>>

@@color:#705e14; The bright orange dot on the end of the shadow's cigarette bounces up and down between her lips.@@ \n\n<<timedreplace 3s>> <<becomes>>@@color:black;text-shadow: 0.1em 0.1em #333;opacity:0.8; Okay, I get it. I get that you're trying to be all zen with your cultural appropriation and <<print $pose>> or whatever the fuck plant-head said. And you're <<print $picture>>, if you even have one of those, finding <<print $one>> or some shit--@@<<endtimedreplace>>\n\n<<timedreplace 7s>> <<becomes>>@@color:#705e14; pet stumbles in warrior pose and sharply turns to the shadow, "Do you ever shut up?"@@<<endtimedreplace>>\n\n<<timedreplace 10s>> <<becomes>>@@color:#705e14; The insructor begins to shake and static.@@<<endtimedreplace>>\n\n<<timedreplace 12s>> <<becomes>>@@color:#705e14; W-we-we-wel-c-c-c-c-c-c-@@<<endtimedreplace>>\n\n<<timedreplace 14s>> <<becomes>>@@color:#705e14; To-day----peace garden p-p-p-p-pose@@<<endtimedreplace>>\n\n<<timedreplace 16s>> <<becomes>>@@color:black;text-shadow: 0.1em 0.1em #333;opacity:0.8; Oh, shit. I think we actually broke the bitch. Well I'm glad we can [[finally get out of this room|metal]]. The wallpaper colour makes me want to fucking puke.<<endtimedreplace>>

<<set $readshadow = true>>@@text-shadow: 0.1em 0.1em #333;opacity:0.5; Hey. [[Fuck you.|firstintro]]

@@color:#705e14; The instructor fizzes out as pet and the shadow head towards the exit. \n\npet notices something <<set $foundmetal = "true">>shine in the spot where the instructor stood, and she heads towards it to pick it up.\n\nA piece of cold metal weighs surprisingly heavy in her palm. It looks like a large pendant that can be buckled to another object.\n\n<<timedreplace 7s>> <<becomes>>[img[https://31.media.tumblr.com/7952bf7e8d352392622d97034bcb5c36/tumblr_mz65i1FGSm1sy90gno6_500.png]]<<endtimedreplace>>\n\n<<timedreplace 9s>> <<becomes>>She tucks the pendant into her back pocket and heads toward the [[door|exitthird]].<<endtimedreplace>>

@@color:black;text-shadow: 0.1em 0.1em #333;opacity:0.8; Wait. How does your fucking TAILBONE reach your <<print $dream>>?@@\n\n<<timedreplace 3s>> <<becomes>>@@color:#705e14; Holding downward dog, pet's breath shakes.@@<<endtimedreplace>>\n\n<<timedreplace 6s>> <<becomes>>@@color:black;text-shadow: 0.1em 0.1em #333;opacity:0.8; And, like, your thighs can resist <<print $fear>>? Cuz, you've gone tons of that going on. I don't think strong thighs will help, honey.@@<<endtimedreplace>>\n\n<<timedreplace 10s>> <<becomes>>@@color:#705e14; The shadow lets out a puff of smoke and looks at the bead of sweat sliding down pet's cheek.@@<<endtimedreplace>>\n\n<<timedreplace 13s>> <<becomes>>@@color:black;text-shadow: 0.1em 0.1em #333;opacity:0.8; I'm sorry, is that you unleashing your <<print $limit>>?@@<<endtimedreplace>>\n\n<<timedreplace 15s>> <<becomes>>@@color:#705e14; And we now move our body into [[warrior pose]].@@<<endtimedreplace>>\n<<silently>>\n<<set $pose = "">>\n<<set $picture = "">>\n<<set $one = "">>\n<<endsilently>>

<<if $foundleather and $foundmetal and $madeleash>>[[What's this?|assembly]]<<else>>and so pet continues to find comfort in [[another place|elevator]]<<endif>>

@@color:#ffb3b3;pet can't answer that.\n\nShe mutters, "Well maybe this is my way of loving my body."\n\nThe shadow stares at her for a while.@@\n\n<<timedreplace 4s>> <<becomes>>@@color:#ffb3b3;text-shadow: 0.1em 0.1em #333;opacity:0.7; Sure, let's go with that. Now can you take the plug out of your ass? It feels weird talking to you with that thing in.@@<<endtimedreplace>>\n\n<<timedreplace 7s>> <<becomes>>[["Sorry."|cleaning]]<<endtimedreplace>>

@@font-size:950%; \nCAN \n\nFEEL \n\nTRAPPED@@\n<<timedgoto "b2" 1s >>

@@font-size:950%; \nCAN \n\nFEEL \n\nTRAPPED@@\n<<timedgoto "six" 1s >>

@@font-size:950%; \nCAN \n\nFEEL \n\nTRAPPED@@\n<<timedgoto "survivors" 1s >>