don't

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Have you ever attempted suicide? <<linkappend "don't" t8n>>@@.right;go there.@@<</linkappend>> <<linkappend "don't" t8n>>@@.right;tell them.@@<</linkappend>> <> <<linkreplace "don't">>I <<linkreplace "don't">>didn't<</linkreplace>> want to <<linkappend "die. ">>I just <<linkappend "want">>ed <</linkappend>> to sleep <<linkreplace "for a while ">>and never wake up. <</linkreplace>> <</linkappend>> <</linkreplace>> <> <<linkappend "don't" t8n>>@@.right;lock me away.@@<</linkappend>> <<linkappend "don't" t8n>>@@.right;call me crazy.@@<</linkappend>> <> <<linkreplace "don't">>You don't know <<linkreplace "what I did.">>why I <<linkreplace "did it.">> <<linkreplace "swallowed">>overdosed on <</linkreplace>> <<linkreplace "them.">>those pills. <</linkreplace>> <</linkreplace>> <</linkreplace>> <</linkreplace>> <> <<linkappend "don't" t8n>>@@.right;try to understand.@@<</linkappend>>

<<silently>> <<set _manic to [false, false, false, false]>> <<set _positives to ["love", "help", "trust"]>> <<set _negatives to ["harm", "hate", "fear"]>> <<set _allManic to false>> <<set _allDepressive to true>> <</silently>>/* ============================================= */ <> @@#impossible;.depressive; It's impossible to <<swap>>love<<onswap>> <<checkPosNeg "#impossible" "#impossiblethought" 0 "_negatives">> <<checkword "love" "_impossiblethought" "#impossiblethought" " me. You don't cherish car crashes.">> <<checkword "hate" "_impossiblethought" "#impossiblethought" " me. hate sentence">> <<checkword "help" "_impossiblethought" "#impossiblethought" " me. The sky is always falling here.">> <<checkword "harm" "_impossiblethought" "#impossiblethought" " me. harm sentence">> <<checkword "trust" "_impossiblethought" "#impossiblethought" " me. trust sentence">> <<checkword "fear" "_impossiblethought" "#impossiblethought" " me. fear sentence">> <</swap>>@@<>\ <<set _impossiblethought to " me. You don't cherish car crashes.">>\ @@#impossiblethought;.depressive;_impossiblethought@@/* ============================================= <> @@#know;.depressive; I only know how to <<swap>>fear<<onswap>> <<checkPosNeg "#know" "#knowthought" 1 "_positives">> <<checkword "love" "_knowthought" "#knowthought" " people. love sentence.">> <<checkword "hate" "_knowthought" "#knowthought" " people. hate sentence.">> <<checkword "help" "_knowthought" "#knowthought" " people. help sentence.">> <<checkword "harm" "_knowthought" "#knowthought" " people. harm sentence.">> <<checkword "trust" "_knowthought" "#knowthought" " people. trust sentence.">> <<checkword "fear" "_knowthought" "#knowthought" " people. fear sentence">> <</swap>>@@<>\ <<set _knowthought to " people. fear sentence.">>\ @@#knowthought;.depressive;_knowthought@@ ============================================= */ <> @@#everyone;.depressive; Everyone I know <<swap>>hate<<onswap>> <<checkPosNeg "#everyone" "#everyonethought" 1 "_positives">> <<checkword "love" "_everyonethought" "#everyonethought" "s me. love sentence">> <<checkword "hate" "_everyonethought" "#everyonethought" "s me. hate sentence">> <<checkword "help" "_everyonethought" "#everyonethought" "s me. help sentence">> <<checkword "harm" "_everyonethought" "#everyonethought" "s me. harm sentence">> <<checkword "trust" "_everyonethought" "#everyonethought" "s me. trust sentence">> <<checkword "fear" "_everyonethought" "#everyonethought" "s me. fear sentence.">> <</swap>>@@<>\ <<set _everyonethought to "s me. I can see the loathing on their faces.">>\ @@#everyonethought;.depressive;_everyonethought@@/* ============================================= */ <> @@#completely;.depressive; They can tell I'm completely <<swap>>help<<onswap>> <<checkPosNeg "#completely" "#completelythought" 2 "_negatives">> <<checkword "love" "_completelythought" "#completelythought" "less. love sentence">> <<checkword "hate" "_completelythought" "#completelythought" "less. There's not a mean bone in my body.">> <<checkword "help" "_completelythought" "#completelythought" "less. help sentence">> <<checkword "harm" "_completelythought" "#completelythought" "less. The lamb that takes away the sins of the world.">> <<checkword "trust" "_completelythought" "#completelythought" "less. I can see the lies tucked behind their teeth.">> <<checkword "fear" "_completelythought" "#completelythought" "less. When I jump off buildings, I plummet up.">> <</swap>>@@<>\ <<set _completelythought to "less. Utterly pathetic.">>\ @@#completelythought;.depressive;_completelythought@@/* ============================================= */ <> @@#inherent;.depressive; I'm an inherently <<swap>>harm<<onswap>> <<checkPosNeg "#inherent" "#inherentthought" 3 "_positives">> <<checkword "love" "_inherentthought" "#inherentthought" "ful person. love sentence">> <<checkword "hate" "_inherentthought" "#inherentthought" "ful person. And they hate me back.">> <<checkword "help" "_inherentthought" "#inherentthought" "ful person. Cut away my flesh and you'll find world peace.">> <<checkword "harm" "_inherentthought" "#inherentthought" "ful person. Breathe me in like glass dust.">> <<checkword "trust" "_inherentthought" "#inherentthought" "ful person. trust sentence">> <<checkword "fear" "_inherentthought" "#inherentthought" "ful person. fear sentence">> <</swap>>@@<>\ <<set _inherentthought to "ful person. Breathe me in like glass dust.">>\ @@#inherentthought;.depressive;_inherentthought@@/* ============================================= <> @@#never;.depressive; I could never <<swap>>trust<<onswap>> <<checkPosNeg "#never" "#neverthought" 5 "_negatives">> <<checkword "love" "_neverthought" "#neverthought" " anyone. Not when I despise myself this much.">> <<checkword "hate" "_neverthought" "#neverthought" " anyone. hate sentence">> <<checkword "help" "_neverthought" "#neverthought" " anyone. I'm useless and incompetent.">> <<checkword "harm" "_neverthought" "#neverthought" " anyone. harm sentence">> <<checkword "trust" "_neverthought" "#neverthought" " anyone. trust sentence">> <<checkword "fear" "_neverthought" "#neverthought" " anyone. fear sentence">> <</swap>>@@<>\ <<set _neverthought to " anyone. I'm too miserable to bring people happiness.">>\ @@#neverthought;.depressive;_neverthought@@ ============================================= */ <<set _state to "Feelin bad...">> @@#state;.depressive;_state@@

these are for a project. don't worry, i am fine and stable currently. these are explorations of past feelings. ''cw: discussion of suicide and pill overdose'' [[Poem1]] ''cw: self-hatred'' [[Poem2]]

<<widget "checkstate">> /*For every element in _manic (which checks to see if all statements are manic or not), if the element is true, set the variable _allDepressive (which checks whether all elements are false or not) to false, and exit widget. Otherwise (if every element in _manic is false) set _allDepressive to true. if _allDepressive is true, set _state (an added sentence depending on if all statements are manic or depressive) to 'Feelin bad...' make the style of #state (the span holding _state) 'depressive' and update it to say _state. For every element in _manic, if the element is false, set the variable _allManic (which checks to see if all elements are true or not) to false, and exit widget. Otherwise (if every element in _manic is true) set _allManic to true. if _allDepressive is true, set _state to 'Totally great!' make the style of #state 'manic' and update it to say _state. This checks whether all of the statements are manic or depressive, and displays a sentence depending. allDepressive and allManic are just inverses of each other but if neither are true, that means that the statements are mixed, and a sentence doesn't show at the bottom (I can't think of a way to do this better?).*/ <<for _i, _name range _manic>> <<if _name is true>> <<set _allDepressive to false>> <<break>> <<else>> <<set _allDepressive to true>> <</if>> <</for>> <<if _allDepressive is true>> <<set _state to "Feelin bad...">> <<removeclass "#state" "manic">> <<addclass "#state" "depressive">> <<replace "#state">>_state<</replace>> <</if>> <<for _i, _name range _manic>> <<if _name is false>> <<set _allManic to false>> <<break>> <<else>> <<set _allManic to true>> <</if>> <</for>> <<if _allManic is true>> <<set _state to "Totally great!">> <<removeclass "#state" "depressive">> <<addclass "#state" "manic">> <<replace "#state">>_state<</replace>> <</if>> <<if not _allManic and not _allDepressive>> <<set _state to "">> <<replace "#state">>_state<</replace>> <</if>> <</widget>> /*=============================================*/ <<widget "stylechange">> /*<<stylechange "#zero" "#zerothought" 0 "depressive" "manic" true>> removes 'depressive' class from #zero (the first sentence) and #zerothought (the second sentence) adds the 'manic' class to #zero and #zerothought sets _manic[0] (a specific element, symbolizing a statement, in the _manic array, which holds how many statements are manic or not) to 'true' This changes the style of some text from 'depressive' to 'manic' and vice versa */ <<removeclass $args[0] $args[3]>> <<addclass $args[0] $args[4]>> <<removeclass $args[1] $args[3]>> <<addclass $args[1] $args[4]>> <<set _manic[$args[2]] to $args[5]>> <</widget>> /*=============================================*/ <<widget "checkPosNeg">> /*<<checkPosNeg "#zero" "#zerothought" 0 "_negatives">> if _swapcurrent (the current word plugged into the first sentence) is in _positives (the list of positive traits), and if $args[3] is "_positives", change the sentence's style from 'depressive' to 'manic' otherwise (if args[3] is 'negatives'), change the sentence's style from 'manic' to 'depressive' if _swapcurrent is in _negatives (the list of negative traits) and if $args[3] is '_negatives' change the sentence's style from 'manic' to 'depressive' otherwise (if args[3] is 'positives') change the sentence style from 'depressive' to 'manic' check the state of the sentences (whether they're all manic or depressive) this widget checks to see how a positive or negative trait fits into a statement (which is separately either positive or negative) and changes the text style accordingly*/ <<if _positives.includes(_swapCurrent)>> <<if $args[3] == "_positives">> <<stylechange $args[0] $args[1] $args[2] "depressive" "manic" true>> <<else>> <<stylechange $args[0] $args[1] $args[2] "manic" "depressive" false>> <</if>> <<elseif _negatives.includes(_swapCurrent)>> <<if $args[3] == "_negatives">> <<stylechange $args[0] $args[1] $args[2] "depressive" "manic" true>> <<else>> <<stylechange $args[0] $args[1] $args[2] "manic" "depressive" false>> <</if>> <</if>> <<checkstate>> <</widget>> /*=============================================*/ <<widget "checkword">> /*<<checkword "love" "_zerothought" "#zerothought" "I'm just too disgusting.">> if _swapcurrent (the current word plugged into the first sentence) is 'love', set the variable '_zerothought' to the sentence 'I'm just too disgusting.', and replace the current #zerothought (the customized second sentence) span with that variable (the sentence) this widget changes the unique second sentence according to what word is plugged into the first sentence.*/ <<if _swapCurrent is $args[0]>> <<set $args[1] to $args[3]>> <<replace $args[2]>>$args[1]<</replace>> <</if>> <</widget>>