<span id="title">WORTH WAITING</span>
<span id="menu">[[''Attend''|Handholding]]</span>
"Emily."
She raises her chin as she speaks, looking up at nothing in particular. It's all very dramatic. The act sums up all of the formality this game pretends to have.
Emily, who volunteered to start things off, sits to your left.
You were relieved to learn that, with Emily going first and the introductions moving along the circle clockwise, you'd be going last. You aren't so relieved anymore. Emily's bravado set a standard that she expects everyone to uphold. As things are, you feel entirely unwilling to publicly make a fool of yourself.
[[Time progresses as you fret to yourself.]]
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"Matthew."
The man holding Emily's hand mimics the gesture you just saw, right down to the raised chin; it's unclear whether this was to mess with her or play along. Emily doesn't react in any way, regardless.
For just a second you tell yourself that there's still 8 people to go before you have to speak. Immediately, you reconsider and remember to exclude yourself from the math this time; 10 people in the circle, with two having gone already, means that there are now 7 individuals between you and your obligation.
[["Edward."]]
Like Matthew, Edward holds his head high as he states his name. Damn, you guess this is going to start being an unspoken requirement.
Edward's grip on the two hands at each of his sides looks fierce. The girl to his left seems to be in pain, but she can't bring herself to say anything about it.
[["Roxanne."]]
Roxanne says her name quickly and with some difficulty, only raising her head midway through speaking. She either doesn't want anyone to pay too much attention to her or she's really in that much pain.
[["So do we have to look up when we talk, or what?"]]
Having heard words that weren't (link-reveal: "John")[ (or maybe even Johnny)], Emily turned her gaze from the center of the circle and gave the older boy a dirty look. John didn't seem phased and awaited an answer.
The boy to your right, a friend of John's as far as you can tell, releases your hand and retrieves a folded piece of paper from the ass pocket of his jeans. It takes some shifting around to get at the contents, but he succeeds after about 5 seconds.
You caught a quick glimpse of Emily's face during the exchange; she wore an expression that can only be described as "I just saw the waiter spit in my food. Also, I just finished eating the last thing he brought me."
John's friend never got to draw his own conclusions about that expression; his eyes were on the recycled printer paper as soon as it was in his hand. It seems he's insistent on reading through the whole list, if only to double check that nothing was overlooked... or perhaps to piss off Emily.
[["First everyone sits in a circle."|Instructions]]
"Next, you write the number of participants (as many as you like) on your right hand."
It turns out that you misheard earlier. You wrote the number of people here, 10, on your left hand.
The hand that Emily is holding right now.
Shit.
"Everyone has to state their names to lock themselves into the game. Finally, we all take turns (in no particular order) declaring some wrongdoing to goad anything that's listening into showing up."
"I don't see anything about ***how*** we have to say our names anywhere," John's friend states, not betraying any potential disdain or smugness through his voice. "I have to say, this is a lot of effort to play Truth or Dare without the dare part."
Matthew opens his mouth to make some kind of smartass comment. He never actually says anything, but you could still tell that he wanted to.
Instead, John is the one that pipes up. "So I can just say my name is John, then, right? Okay: John."
[["At least wait until everyone is holding hands again!"]]
Reacting to Emily's demand, hands are rejoined and you hear an unenthusiastic "Johnny". If it weren't for the stringent order that everyone is introducing themselves in, the fact that you only have candlelight to work with would make it impossible to tell who was speaking.
The fact that everyone is saying their names helps too, mind you.
[["Ted."]]
Everyone begins by holding hands, however reluctantly some may choose to do so.
[[Hold the hand to your right]]
(if: (history:) contains "Grab the hand to your left")[You feel a profound emptiness.
You hold the hand to your right. The boy's palm is sweaty. You're forced to raise your arm to meet him midway as a result of the height difference between the two of you. This position is already uncomfortable to maintain.
Of the 10 students in the room, the boy on your right wears the clothing that fits this humid summer evening the least: a clashing sweater and leather jacket along with thick sweat pants.
[[Hold the hand to your left]]](else:)[You hold the hand to your right. The boy's palm is sweaty. You're forced to raise your arm to meet him midway as a result of the height difference between the two of you. This position is already uncomfortable to maintain.
Of the 11 students in the room and the other girl, the boy on your right wears the clothing that fits this humid summer evening the least: a clashing sweater and leather jacket along with thick sweat pants.
[[Grab the hand to your left]]]
The girl sitting to your left has no facial features; all she has in their place is a blank canvas of flesh. Just looking at her makes you forget what a face looks like. You have no idea how her glasses stay in position so perfectly when she doesn't have a nose to hold them up.
It's hard to describe her glasses in the flickering candlelight. At best, you could say you feel as though they're a backup pair; one that's reserved for worst-case scenarios.
She takes your hand into her own. Everything from her shoulder down shifts between a thousand impossible forms during a brief moment of contact. Not a single one of those forms hurts to touch. None of the forms are sweaty.
[[Go Back|Hold the hand to your right]]
You hold the hand to your left. Your grip feels just as empty as it did a second ago, despite the dainty fingers currently entwined with your own.
Everyone musters up the facade of attention and stares into the center of the circle.
[["Well I guess it's time to begin, then!"|The Party Begins]]
(if: (history:) contains "nys")[You feel a profound emptiness.
Everyone seems either too eager to get started or too eager to get finished to mess around anymore. Frankly, that'd be fine if it wasn't leading up to you having to say your own name.
There's just other 2 students left before your turn.
[["Clara."]]](else:)[Everyone seems either too eager to get started or too eager to get finished to mess around anymore. That'd be fine if it wasn't leading up to you having to say your own name.
There's just 3 students and the other girl left before your turn.
[["nys."|nys]]]
You have no idea how one would vocalize that a name has no capital letters. It's an irrelevant question, given that no vocalization was involved.
You never quite understood how she did that.
[[Go Back|"Ted."]]
Clara is one of the few people in the room you knew before tonight; nothing too profound, just the two of you having been been in groups for class projects before. You got caught in the invitation crossfire when Emily was trying to rope the poor girl into coming, hence why you're even here. You guess Emily decided that having as many participants as possible took a bit of the pressure off of herself to be flawless.
You try not to blame Clara for this.
[["Ed."]]
The guy sitting next to you, John's friend, finally speaks. You wonder if saying his name was Ed was his first choice or if he just needed to distinguish himself from Edward. It's hard to discern the motivations of those that wear leather jackets indoors in the middle of summer.
He's the first person in a while to turn his chin up while saying his name.
Fuck, it's your turn.
[["Well? Are you going to say something?"]]
Emily, who appears to not know the meaning of "ease them into things", stares at you with a look of anticipation.
[[Your name is Josephine.]]
You're named after someone on your dad's side of the family. You met her once at a holiday dinner.
She gave you a piece of (link-reveal: "hard candy")[ (like the kind you'd find in a bowl next to the cash register at a restaurant)] and reminded you to say your prayers.
You saw her one more time that night; she was in the middle of a discussion with her husband and your grandfather. They were talking about how unseemly they found it that your father married someone like your mother.
[[That just leaves the worst part of the game, now.]]
(set: $participants to 9)(set: $partygoers to (a: "Emily", "Matthew", "Edward", "Roxanne", "John", "Ted", "Clara", "Ed")) Everyone releases the hands they had been holding. For some, the tension in the room suddenly clears up. For others, you see the breath catching in their throats.
You feel about the same as you did before.
Now's the part where everyone has to talk about some awful shit they did in hopes that what they say will piss off the spirits or whatever this was supposed to be about. You still aren't sure whether you plan on being serious about this or chickening out and talking about something inconsequential when it's your turn.
There's some murmuring along the circle where people have managed to sit next to their friends, but you know that Emily will eventually lose her patience and bring everyone's attention back to her little party game.
[[Next|The Circle]]
There's a slight lull inbetween now and the next person speaking.
(if: $candle is "Yes")[[[Move that nearby candle further from the edge of the table|Candle bullshit]]
][[Look at your left hand]]
[[Review the current participants]]
(if: $participants > 1)[[[Listen up|Listen up]]](else:)[[[...|Listen up]]]
(if: $partygoers contains "Emily")[You sneak a peak at your left hand, trying your hardest to avoid letting Emily notice that it's the one with the number on it.
](if: $participants is 9)[The number on your hand is a 9. The little loop at the top is cramped and makes it look like a 7.](if: $participants is 8)[The number on your hand is an 8. Frankly, it looks more like two 0s stuck together.](if: $participants is 7)[The number on your hand is a 7. You did a decent job writing it down.](if: $participants is 6)[The number on your hand is a 6. You somehow almost wrote it backwards. Somehow.](if: $participants is 5)[The number on your hand is a 5. The top is a bit too curvy, so it looks like you fucked up writing the number 6.](if: $participants is 4)[The number on your hand is a 4. You never did like to write them with the little triangle on top.](if: $participants is 3)[The number on your hand is a 3. The bottom part is completely out of proportion with the top part.](if: $participants is 2)[The number on your hand is a 2. You made a little swirl on the top part to distract from the really weird angle it's bent at.](if: $participants is 1)[The number on your hand is a 1. Or perhaps it's a lowercase l. Your friend insisted on not being counted.]
[[Back|The Circle]]
(if: $participants > 1)[For the most part the only things you know about the people who (link-reveal: "came")[ (or were supposed to come)] has been gleaned from the emails that got sent back and forth before tonight. Still, this is what you've managed to figure out:
(if: $partygoers contains "Emily")[Emily is here. She's the one that called everyone together.](else:)[You remember some Emily girl telling everyone about this occult bullshit one of her friends showed her. You guess that's where the idea for tonight came from. She couldn't make it here because of a nasty stomach virus.]
(if: $partygoers contains "Matthew")[Matthew is here. You're pretty sure that guy is Emily's boyfriend. You had him on your team for a group presentation once; his contribution was half copying, half pasting.](else:)[You heard that Matthew guy was supposed to be here, but he never returned any of the calls about the event. It's kind of weird that he just stopped engaging since he was the one who was most enthusiastic about coming tonight after Emily. You're not sure if something happened between the two of them.]
(if: $partygoers contains "Edward")[Edward is here. Given that he seems to carry himself as though he's Matthew's friend, you guess Matthew asked Emily to be placed where he was.](else:)[There was some guy, Edward, who was considering showing up. Apparently he had a recent falling out with someone else who was set to come, so he hasn't been dignifying any invitations with a response.]
(if: $partygoers contains "Roxanne")[Roxanne is here. She seems like she got pressured into showing up.](else:)[Someone named Roxanne was invited, but she never showed when she learned that it was just because that Edward guy liked her.]
(if: $partygoers contains "John")[John is here. Him and his friend seem to know that Edward guy.](else:)[An invitation was extended to a friend of a friend of a boyfriend of Emily's. He seemed like he would be up for some weird arcane party game shit, but he couldn't make it since he's bogged down by summer school.]
(if: $partygoers contains "Ted")[Ted's here. You know even less about him than everyone else. He seems like he's eager to get to his turn speaking.](else:)[Someone named Ted was invited by that Edward guy. Who cares, really?]
(if: $participants > 2)[(if: $partygoers contains "Clara")[Clara is here. She's the only person in the room you've actually talked to somewhat extensively before.]](else:)[(if: $partygoers contains "Clara")[Clara is here. You have no idea how she roped you into this.](else:)[Clara isn't here. You don't need her.]]
(if: $partygoers contains "Ed")[Ed is here. You still don't know if he prefers Edward to Ed or not.](else:)[There was, like, a second Edward invited. He sprained his ankle a day ago and didn't come.]
Emily had mentioned a couple of times that she wishes she could have invited someone named Sarah to this nonsense. Apparently this Sarah person transfered over to another university, though.
Matthew mentioned wanting some guy named Steve to join in, but he's busy cleaning up after an electrical fire tonight.](if: $partygoers contains "nys")[nys is here.
She's told you in the past that she isn't really a person.]
[[Back|The Circle]]
(set: $candle to "Yes")Well, this is unexpected.
However, given how frustrated Emily seems to be with the turnout, you can't exactly say this bodes particularly well.
"Well," Emily says, "I've decided it's only fair that I go first since I was the one that proposed tonight. I think you two can both agree, right?"
You and Clara both nod uncomfortably. Of course, neither of you want to participate, so you don't mind Emily taking the helm. Still, those were nods motivated entirely by not wanting to be yelled at, so you're allowed to be a little uncomfortable.
"Right? Right. Okay, well I know that... the two of you... probably think of me as a pretty straight laced girl. You two probably also know that I was absent for all of my classes for a week recently," Emily says, as though you actually know her outside of this. She must not be used to being around people who aren't familiar with her or her reputation. "Well, I actually wasn't sick, despite what I told my professors. I was actually cutting class to visit a friend in the hospital."
[[Oh come the fuck on.|Emily story continuation]]
This is it.
Unlike with Clara, the two of you aren't sitting in a weird position and holding both hands. The two of you are just holding one hand each, like a normal couple would. You can keep saying that as long as what you're holding remains definitively a hand.
The obvious truth is that neither of you care about playing the game. Instead you're fretting over something else. A question, specifically.
You've never asked about it before because you were afraid that you'd be doing something wrong if you brought it up, but at the same time you fear the entire issue is because of something you've done all the same.
So you've decided to bite the bullet.
[["Why is it that you can't tell if I remember things or not?"|Your question]]
The poor girl that Emily singled out doesn't seem to immediately recognize that she was called on to go first. Although, you suppose it could just as easily be a deer-in-the-headlights kind of reaction. Who knows?
Either way, the pause is long enough that the event's facilitator has gotten impatient again.
"Yes, you," Emily says with ill-fitting authority. "If no one feels up to being first then I guess I'll have to start picking people. You'd have to go eventually, so just get it out of the way now."
Roxanne still can't seem to respond to Emily's demands; she opens and closes her mouth sporadically, as though at a loss for words. You almost feel bad for her, since you'd just about react the same way.
Wait. You do feel bad for her. Why did you say you "almost" there?
[[You feel as though you're forgetting something|Roxanne contiunation]]
Roxanne's disposition suddenly changes. She still isn't saying anything, but now it seems more like she's trying to make a tough decision.
You aren't entirely sure how you know that.
In a couple of seconds, she begins her story.
"Okay, so I know this isn't a real huge thing that I did, but we've gotta build up the really bad stuff, right?"
She waits for some kind of nod of approval or words of agreement that will never come. She's just making it worse on herself.
"Right? Right. Well, I'm going to come clean about something: I was the one that broke into boy's quarters."
There's a couple murmurs of recognition. You don't get out enough to know what she's talking about, though. You figure that you won't need much background to understand the story. Edward's face tenses for a second.
"Anyways, it was on a dare. I mean, I was kind of playing a game like this, but with more dares, you know?" Roxanne continues.
Edward visibly relaxes upon hearing this. You can probably guess why.
[[Next|Roxanne continuation 2]]
(set: $partygoers to it - (a: "Roxanne"))"That story isn't the first thing that came to mind for her tonight. I mean, it was the only one she'd ever tell anyone in this room, but it sure as hell wasn't what she thought of when she was told that she'd need to describe a heinous act."
nys is holding your hand, talking about things she shouldn't be able to know. No one else reacts to her. The candle flames do not flicker. You could stick your hand in them and they wouldn't be able to burn you. You still keep a healthy distance from them, however. You do not appreciate how many candles there are.
"I mean, I know what she was thinking of saying when she hesitated before. She'd never admit to doing what she did, but I know for a fact that she felt the twisting, churning desire to go all in."
nys pauses. She's wondering how to phrase it. You know that pause because you've seen it innumberable times before.
"I'll just come right out with it. She was the one who broke into that girl's room on the third floor. She's the one who took a bat to just about everything she owned. She's also the one that wrote... well..."
She's talking about the message in the hallway. The one that said "No vile qu**rs in the female dorms". It's funny how stilted the wording was to you now; it's like she spent a lot of time thinking out exactly what she wanted to express.
nys notices the glint of recognition in your eyes, as she always does.
"She didn't want to write it in that poor girl's room. No one would see it there."
[[Next|Story end]]
(set: $participants to it - 1)(if: $participants > 0)[(if: $partygoers contains "Emily")[There are $participants participants in the circle, and Emily is sure to draft someone to go first soon.](else-if: $partygoers contains "Clara")[You guess it's time to get started.](else:)[(set: $partygoers to it + (a: "nys"))You guess it's time.]](else:)[nys estinguishes the candles.
The two of you leave Emily's house, holding hands all the while. Time still fails to gain hold on either of you for as long as you are together.
There is no one left in the circle. The two of you have moved on to bigger and better things. The universe better damn well watch out.
Despite how miserable tonight was for you, it was still worth waiting for the chance to be alone with the girl you care about.]
(if: $participants > 0)[[[Go Back|The Circle]]](else:)[[[Next|Ending]]]
Edward doesn't respond to Emily singling him out. He's been staring at the floor all night, clearly not pleased to be holding John's hand.
Emily, not missing a beat, speaks up again. "Edward, I said you should go first."
Still no response from Edward. He looks he just learned that Santa isn't real.
"Uh, dude, Emily's talking to you," John says. He doesn't seem particularly pleased with the arrangement, either.
[["We get it. You're pissy that your crush isn't here. Play the game."|Edward continuation]]
Ed seems like the type to start more fights than he can finish, doesn't he?
It's hard to make out too many expressions at once with little more than candlelight to work with. The best you can gather is that everyone in the room had some reaction to what Ed just said, even if they were too shocked to say anything.
What you did pick up on, however, was how Edward's anger must have boiled over to the point that he didn't even want to dignify the comment; instead, it pushed him to finally start telling his story.
You can't even begin to imagination what had to be going through Ed's head to say what he did.
[["I can."]]
In a minute, nys.
[[Edward starts talking|Edward continuation 2]]
"I know what story I'm going to tell. Yeah, I've got a good one."
You'd say that Edward sounds a bit like a bully in middle school who's being forced to apologize to someone. That makes sense, right? That seems like it makes sense.
The point is, he's a very specific brand of barely-concealed pissed. Holy shit he is so pissed; it's actually kind of funny to watch, knowing it isn't directed at you. Most importantly, however, is that there's that kind of victorious tone to it; the tone of a middle school bully that knows he'll be back to being a bully right after the faux-apology, you guess? Whatever.
"Yeah, I know what story I can tell. Hell, it's a fucking doozy for a first story, but you have to start with a bang, right?"
He waits for some kind of nod of approval or words of agreement that will never come. He doesn't care.
"Right? Right. Well, I'm going to come clean about something: I was the one that broke every window of Ed's car."
[[Next|Edward continuation 3]]
(set: $partygoers to it - (a: "Edward"))Of course you do. You just don't know what he thinks he's doing by not only claiming to have committed a crime, but by implicating his friend as well.
"Well, I think I have a pretty good idea."
The line between a strong desire to be helpful and a strong desire to seem omniscient has always been thin for your...
...
...
...friend. Right, your friend.
"I mean, it's a pretty disappointing answer. He's just doing it because he wants to hurt Ed like he feels Ed hurt him. It's not a calculated choice, really. It's just something a dude that's pissed and put on the spot feels would be a once-in-a-lifetime response," nys says.
She pauses for a second and looks at her hands... somehow... despite not a face... trying to figure out how to express the next bit.
"I mean, everyone always wants to be able to go back in time and use that witty retort they thought up an hour later, and as far as Edward is concerned he got to finally do it. I mean, look at his face; he's figuring out just how silly this whole thing was while the words still linger on his lips."
While the words still linger on his lips?
"Shut up."
Still, she's right. His smile, frozen like everything else around you but nys, is much less pronounced than it was a second ago.
[["He said Matthew helped him because he thought it would make the story more credible, as silly as that sounds."|nys edward response 2]]
(if: $partygoers contains "Emily")[(if: $participants > 3)[Well, you'd certainly listen up if anyone would say anything. For once Emily hasn't volunteered to go first, so you guess she's saving whatever she has to say for later on.
Maybe she's afraid that if everyone knows her role is up she'll no longer be the center of attention.
(if: $participants > 4)[Most everyone is looking around the room for whoever will volunteer to speak first. The silence is uncomfortable. A look from Emily is all it takes for everyone to get back to holding hands for what comes next.](else:)[The small circle of participants awaits Emily's inevitable judgement. A look from Emily gets people back to holding hands, now that the break is over.]](else:)[The circle is quiet. Emily will probably force either you or Clara to speak before her.]](else-if: $partygoers contains "Clara")[You and Clara awkwardly rejoin hands. Both hands. You're sitting across from each other and forming something that doesn't resemble a circle in the slightest. Your back is sore from leaning forward.](else:)[nys is holding your hand. Your heart feels all warm and fuzzy; it makes everything about this scarier than it already would be.]
(if: $participants is 9)[[["You, Roxanne. You go first."|Roxanne's story]]](if: $participants is 8)[[["You, Edward. You go first."|Edward's story]]](if: $participants is 7)[[["You, Ted. You go first."|Ted's story]]](if: $participants is 6)[[["You, John. You go first."|John's story]]](if: $participants is 5)[[["You, Ed. You go first."|Ed's story]]](if: $participants is 4)[[["You, Matthew. You go first."|Matthew's story]]](if: $participants is 3)[[["I'm going first."|Emily's story]]](if: $participants is 2)[[["Uh, I guess I'll go first unless you want to."|Clara's story]]](if: $participants is 1)[[[Speak|Your story]]]
Ted looks at Ed nervously. There's certainly something that Ted knows he could say that would "piss off the spirits", but won't anytime soon.
You aren't able to tell why you're so sure of that, but you are.
The pause is too long for Emily's taste. "Ted, for the love of god just bite the bullet and go already."
"Just give me a second, okay? It's not like I came to this with a story ready," Ted says.
Emily narrows her eyes. "What? I told everyone to come with one. Do you seriously think we're about to spend all night waiting for everyone to figure out what they want to say?"
Ted doesn't speak up for a bit. He's clearly just trying to buy himself some time.
Matthew, staring daggers at the proverbial sacrificial lamb, rips into him next. "Come on, man. The only reason we even invited you to come here in the first place was because that rat-fuck Edward wanted you, and he's not even here tonight. Are you seriously going to screw us over like this?"
You aren't sure why anyone would want to show up to a "party" like this so much that they'd come under those kinds of circumstances.
[["Fine, fine, I've got something.|Ted continuation]]
There isn't any kind of argument when John gets told to speak. He just looks over at his friend, Ed, who responds with a shrug of unknown meaning. John seems to have been prepared for something like this. You guess being less-than-excited to participate can lend itself to being ready for any curveballs that could be thrown at you.
He turns towards the center of the circle and wastes no more time before beginning his story, which suggests that Emily just made one of her better decisions for the night.
"So nothing we say tonight leaves this room, right? I mean, if we're all going to be talking about some shit we did then I guess that won't be an issue, right?"
Just about everyone in the room gives a shrug or some such in response. You don't really react to the question.
"Right? Right. Alright then, I'll come right out with it: I only got into this university because I cheated in a bunch of classes around the end of high school," John says without any sign of tension in his demeanor or voice. "I didn't plagarize any essays or projects, but I slipped some answers into the test room."
[[Next|John continuation]]
"Can I just abstain?" Ed says, looking up from his lap for the first time since Emily got him to say his name.
Surprisingly, Clara is the one to speak up before anyone else. "I, uh, don't think you can just not say anything. I'm pretty sure that's not how the game works," Clara says, showing surprising devotion to what may be the most inane nonsense you've ever participated in; worse than generic spirit board stuff, by far.
Matthew is a bit less polite when he admonishes Ed. "Come on, man. The only reason we even invited you to come here in the first place was because that rat-fuck Edward wanted your friend, and neither of them are even here tonight. Stop wasting our time and just get on with it."
Something about this feels familiar.
Ed doesn't seem particularly happy, but looks around the room and opts to bite his tongue before following up on any fights.
[["Fine, fuck it. I'll tell you a story."|Ed continuation]]
(set: $candle to "Yes")Matthew is obviously forcing a smile, given how miserable tonight is set to go. Between the fact that there's only the four of you and the fact that his girlfriend just told him that he'd have to start things off, you're almost tempted to feel sorry for him. Almost.
Emily grips your left hand and Clara grips your right. Despite what some might believe your leanings may suggest, this still isn't a particularly appealing situation to be in given that they're strangers you're on no friendly terms of note with. It could be worse, however. I mean, you guess it could be worse in a very much theoretical sense. They could be swinging their arms. Or they could be digging their nails into your palms. Or their hands could be sweaty.
Just an example, really.
"Alright, alright. I know exactly which story I can tell. Fuck, it'll probably be really cathartic to talk about, too," Matthew says, although his mirth still seems pretty obviously faked. "I mean, this doesn't leave the room, right? It's just the four of us here, so I'm not too worried."
You really just wish he'd get his story over with. You don't care about anything he could possibly say.
"So you guys remember how there was all that smoke on graduation day, right?" he says, looking around the room; first at Emily, then at Clara, then at you, then at you again as a result of a quick double take when he realizes you've never even seen the high school he's talking about. He doesn't seem to care enough to elaborate and instead continues to tell his story. "Well, I never told anyone about it but I was one of the people who started the fire."
[[What the fuck.|Matthew continuation]]
(set: $candle to "Yes")Clara has volunteered to go first, and you have no reason to object. You aren't entirely sure how she convinced you to come and do this.
Actually, that's a really good question. How did she convince you to come when it was just the two of you? She wasn't even the one to propose playing this game. Why would she still want to come? Why the hell are the two of you at Emily's house without her? How did you even get in here?
Upon further reflection it becomes apparent that you cannot clearly remember the past 24 hours.
Clara, not sensing your confusion and mild distress, begins to speak. "Hey, you won't tell anyone about this, right? I mean, we're friends, right?"
There's no one else here to deflect attention from you, so you have to speak. You don't feel like dealing with the fallout from saying no, either.
[["Yes."|Clara story continuation]]
There's a brief, tense moment between the three arguing participants. The rest of the room tries their hardest to pretend none of that discussion just happened. You just stare on with a blank expression, as usual.
Emily seems outwardly satisfied with the response, but watches Ted with the eyes of someone that has a finger on the launch button.
Matthew makes a lesser effort to conceal his desire to keep calling Ted a waste of space.
Ted doesn't waste any time getting to his story under the pressure of the couple's combined glares.
"Okay, so I know this isn't a particularly well-composed story, but we've gotta get started sooner than later I guess, right?"
He waits for some kind of nod of approval or words of agreement that will never come. Emily and Matthew are still absolutely pissed at him.
"Right? Right. Well, I'm going to come clean about something: I stole 300$ from my dad," Ted says, adding a pause that doesn't invite any particular interpretation to its purpose or meaning.
[[Next|Ted continuation 2]]
(set: $partygoers to it - (a: "Ted"))Time is shooed out of the room as nys cuts off whatever would have come next, suggesting it would have been more awkward silences not worth sitting through.
You frankly aren't sure what the deal with tonight is. It all feels a lot more "high school drama" than "university drama".
"Everyone else that was invited to the party attended a high school in the area before enrolling here," nys responds to your thoughts, an annoying habit if there ever was one. "It's all runoff from old clique politics that somehow got carried over into this dorm. The reason it seems so weird to you is because you're frankly really out of place, not being from around here."
[[That doesn't really make it any less weird.|nys ted response continuation]]
(set: $partygoers to it - (a: "John"))Despite the fact that you're fairly certain nys isn't capable of not picking up on something, she suddenly interrupts the proceedings with an honest-to-god realization, spoken with the kind of curiosity you've only heard from her once or twice prior to now.
"It didn't seem like something worth thinking about," she says. "Not considering something and not knowing something are entirely different things. I have to actually think of something being a factor to begin with if I want to react to it, you know?"
As hard as it is for you to wrap your head around the concept of limited omniscience, you'll admit her thought was certainly worth having... had. It's something you didn't consider either. You're not sure how a story about cheating on a couple of tests counts as some grand cosmic injusti- wait, did nys say "stories" earlier? As in multiple stories, rather than the one story you just heard?
"Yeah," she says, "you know, stories that were just about accidents, stories that are utter lies, that kind of stuff. More than anything everyone's choice has an ulterior motive? This whole party may mostly be about high school politics, but on a smaller scale few people are adhering to the spirit behind the gathering, regardless."
You have no idea what she's talking about right now.
"W-" nys starts before immediately growing quiet. "Oh." Is all she can say. You don't know what's going on, but you rarely hear her stunned to such silence.
When she starts talking again it's like she's reading off of a list. "This whole thing is just the runoff of high school politics you never experienced since you aren't from here. The reason this whole event seems so weird and childish is because they're afraid of what university represents to them, so they've regressed past actual teenage shenanigans and straight into what they think that should entail based off of nostalgia and exaggerated memories."
You're worried about nys, now.
"Don't be."
[[Next|Story end]]
(set: $candle to "Yes")Ed leans back for a moment before staring Matthew dead in the eyes and saying "I helped John cheat on one of his final exams in high school. Satisfied?"
You feel like you knew about this already. Maybe you heard a rumour?
Matthew frowns in lieu of being able to express his frustration by crossing his arms. "No," he says, "I'm not satisfied."
"Wait, John cheated on an exam? Like, we're talking about the smart guy, right?" Clara asks, likely not oblivious to the tension in the room but ignoring it all the same. On that note, smart isn't exactly the word you would pick to describe John from what you've figured out about him prior to tonight. You're more inclined to call him a condescending smartass.
Emily scoffs. "I guess Mr. Perfect isn't so smart after all, is he? I knew he had to be fucking around one way or another."
"You're supposed to talk about your crap, not someone else's," Matthew gripes, "and especially not a someone else who isn't even here."
"Do you have a problem with me?" Ed responds, not bothering to look at Matthew as he does so. Maybe he thinks it makes him look cool.
"Yes, I guess I do have a problem," Matthew says, a touch less composed than the guy holding your hand and faking apathy. "You're just as much of a smartass as your friend, no one wants you here, your story sucked, you're wearing a fucking leather jacket for god knows what reason, and frankly I don't like the looks I've seen you giving Emily." Having gotten that off of his chest, Matthew seems (link-reveal: "satisfied")[ (if still a bit on edge)].
[[Ed's expression doesn't change.| Ed continuation 2]]
(set: $partygoers to it - (a: "Ed"))nys gets up from her spot on the floor and moves over to the lifeless fire, hovering over it until it extinguishes itself out of fear. It's a silly thing to worry about; the fire couldn't do anything to harm you and it certainly couldn't do anything to harm her. You still appreciate the gesture more than you can express.
She doesn't bother heading back towards her spot. She just sits on top of the smouldering ashes, between you and the quarreling men.
Something seems wrong, however.
[["Nothing is wrong."|nys ed response 2]]
(if: $partygoers contains "nys")[You turn around and notice that there's a candle half-off the table, likely placed with little care or possibly duri-
nys reaches over and fixes the candle before you finish considering why the candle had been placed so haphazardly.
Wait, who put these candles here?](else:)[(set: $candle to "No")You turn around and notice that there's a candle half-off the table, likely placed with little care or possibly during a rush. You push it back a little to make sure it doesn't get knocked over if you accidentally move too much.
You have no idea how you knew to turn around to find a poorly placed candle. You'd never noticed anything off before now.
These displaced memories aren't unfamiliar to you, but they're worrying all the same. You aren't quite certain where they come from, but you've noticed strange jumps and inconsistencies around you from time to time. Still, you're probably just being silly; they aren't real and they're probably all in your head.(if: $candleEvents >= 1)[(if: $candleEvents is 1)[
Wait, something about this feels even more familiar than usual...](else-if: $candleEvents is 2)[
You swear this has happened before...]]](set: $candleEvents to it + 1)
[[Go back|The Circle]]
"But yeah. I mean, nothing we say here leaves this circle, right? I didn't think to ask, actually." Once again, no one answers her as they'd all rather she just gets on with it.
"Uh, anyways, the dare was that I had to spend the night in some boy's dorm and then sneak out the next morning. I got my friend to let me in and crash in his room for the night. Technically, just after midnight is the next day, so I got out then," she says, staring forward and through people rather than at them. "I didn't actually break in, is the thing. I just kind of tripped and knocked a really heavy box into the glass door on my way out. I was panicking, but my friend had the idea to put some of the glass shards back into the building so it was hard to tell which side the window was broken from."
There's a pause as though there's more to the story, making it feel even more awkward when she finishes a second later. "Anyways, that's what I have to say. It probably isn't much but it's a start, I guess."
Matthew gives a couple nods of approval. "I knew you had some kind of rebellious streak in you, Roxy. Who could have guessed that destruction of school property was what you'd go for, though?" He laughs at his own (link-reveal: "not-joke")[ (the kind of not-joke you feel really awkward about midway through reciting)]. It's more of a forced chuckle than a laugh, come to think of it.
Roxanne's face falls. "I mean, it was just an accident! I didn't do anything that bad. You can't blame me knocking something over!"
John is the next person to speak up. "Does it count as an accident if you were trespassing... or... whatever that was?"
Roxanne's face falls further in response.
Edward doesn't say anything. His grip on Roxanne's hand still looks painfully tight.
The hand touching yours still feels sweaty.
[["That isn't the worst story she could have told you."|nys roxanne response]]
A silence descends upon the room, but Edward doesn't let it last long enough for anyone to interrupt him. There'll be time for everyone else to speak when he's done.
"Yeah, I broke every window on your car. Then I pissed on your door, too. And you know what else? Matthew helped me."
And that was what prompted someone other than Edward to speak.
"What the fuck!? I didn't help you do shit! What the hell are you trying to pull?" Matthew says, halfway speaking and halfway sputtering. His face is beet red and it's clearly taking all of the effort he can muster to not throttle the smaller man.
You have no idea what's going on anymore.
Ed seems too stunned to express any emotion worth describing.
John seems horribly uncomfortable with the fact that he's holding Edward's hand right now.
You're not sure that you feel too great holding Ed's hand, come to think of it.
Edward just seems really fucking pleased with himself. In his mind, he's won.
[["You know that he's lying out of his ass, right?"|nys edward response]]
No response from the peanut gallery.
"So my dad's always been the type to keep way too much cash on him. Like, so many bills that I'm not sure how he fits them all in there, you know?" Ted continues. "They're not even fifty dollar bills or anything, they're all tens and twenties. I figured that he'd never notice, you know? He left his wallet on the counter for a bit and I grabbed a couple when he was in the bathroom. He didn't notice the first time, so I did it a few more times."
He's still talking. The tension in the room hasn't been lifted at all.
"I don't know when exactly he noticed something was happening, but after the seventh time I hear him screaming about how someone's been robbing him," Ted says, with ambiguously feigned enthusiasm. "He didn't ever really figure out it's me, but there was obviously no way I'd go near his wallet again. I guess he thought it was one of my brothers or sisters, but I don't think he thought it was me."
He's still talking. The story sounds like it should be over, though.
"Yeah, I don't think he figured out it was me. I didn't take it all at once, so it probably took him a couple of weeks to notice it. I mean, I guess he only noticed around when he started screamming about being robbed, but maybe he was suspicious for a bit before that?"
Holy shit he's still talking.
"My mom told him he was just being ridiculous, but my dad just said he's going to keep monitoring his money. I mean I haven't taken anything from him since then so he shouldn't have kept being suspicious, but he still is I thi-" Ted continues further until he abruptly stops, realizing that just extending the story isn't helping him out.
The irriation on Emily and Matthew's faces has faded, replaced now with a mixture of pity, confusion, and disgust.
[["This whole event is ridiculous."|nys ted response]]
"The guy went all-in on this nonsense without an exit plan, is what I'm saying." nys elaborates, straining to describe the bizarre reasoning behind Edward's ploy. "He started off thinking about how this couldn't bite him in the ass because he didn't actually have anything to do with that guy's car, but enough worry set in that he figured making the story even further from the truth would help."
She pauses again. It's always been a little hard to read her, though you've gotten better at it the longer you've known her for.
"Look: I know this doesn't make much sense, but I'm trying to explain the thought process of a man in a moment of passion. Sometimes people just don't make sense."
There's a moment of silence. She adjusts her glasses, even though they hadn't moved an inch. It's more like she pushed them out of position and then back into position.
"It was Ted. Ted beat the shit out of Ed's car," nys says, answering a question you never asked.
[[Next|Story end]]
This time around you don't manage to pick up on everyone's reactions in your peripheral vision. Emily interrupts before John can continue. "Wait, why would you need to cheat? All you ever did in high school was class stuff," she says, confirming to you that John is, indeed, a nerd. "No parties, no girlfriends, and I've never seen you drink in your life. Why the hell would you of all people ever need to cheat?"
John doesn't say anything. You are, however, soon surprised to hear Ed's booming voice from the right of you. "Hey, the rules didn't say anything about explaining yourself," Ed says, gesturing with his head towards the list of instructions he left face-down on the ground. You can feel the vibrations from his every word pass from his hand to yours. You don't like the feeling of it. You don't like the feeling of it at all.
Emily takes just long enough to respond that it's clear she was taking her time thinking of a good retort. "The rules didn't say I couldn't ask, either," she says. It isn't a particularly witty response, despite the pause required to think of it.
You can feel the vibrations when she speaks through your held hands as well. You're kind of sick of having your personal space invaded by a bunch of strangers; particularly strangers who would hate you if they knew anything more about your life than they do.
John, likely crumbling under the curiosity that lingers amongst the circle, answers Emily's earlier question. "I mean, I was having a hard time with things around then is all. It happens to everyone."
"I didn't need to cheat, and the only studying I did was a midnight cram session with Victoria," Emily quips, referencing someone you've never met or heard of before.
John doesn't say anything. A silence descends on the room. It feels bizarrely familiar, but you aren't sure how.
"So," Clara begins, "who's going next?"
[["You know, I just realized how few spirits stories like these could ever hope to rile up."|nys john response]]
He simply lets go of your hand and gets up. In fact, he gets up (link-reveal: "very quickly")[ (violently, even)] and knocks a candle off of the table behind you in the process.
Next, he punches Matthew square in the forehead.
You'll admit you've done a pretty bang-up job of figuring out the events thus far with nothing (link-reveal: "aside from the light of")[ (frankly an excessive number of)] candles to work with, but there's no feasible way to know what's going on in the mess of limbs before you. Clara and Emily have retreated to their respective sides. You haven't really moved, making you seem like the weirdo in the room.
The candle that was knocked over has rolled across the floor and onto the list of instructions, setting it aflame. You are very much terrified of fire.
[["Let's just put an end to that."|nys ed response]]
"I'm fine. We're fine." But she isn't fine. You know she isn't fine. Usually she'd be talking about something or other by now. Instead, she's being really quiet and not interrupting your rambling thoughts no matter how many opportunities you give her.
"I'm fine," she repeats. She doesn't repeat herself much. "I don't want to talk about it," she continues, regardless of the fact that it's not your fault she reads your perpetually worried thoughts.
"It's not my fault that I can't turn this off," she says, telling you something that is absolutely true. You're dismayed at the idea that you could have ever suggested otherwise.
There's a moment of silence. Silence from her. Silence inside your head. Silence from the peanut gallery, who are frozen by time mid-scuffle.
You have an awful feeling that you aren't remembering something. Or, at least, you aren't remembering enough. Something's probably been undone, and the information isn't sticking in your head as well as it could.
[[Next|Story end]]
"Me, Rob, and... another friend were fucking around in the lab by the old history class; the one with the podium in it that never got used. Anyways, the three of us thought that it'd be really funny to just completely fuck up one of the labs when no one was looking since we were about to never see the god-forsaken place again; Joke's on Rob, though, since some shit came up and he had to spend another year there." Matthew pauses and rubs the tip of his nose on his sleeve, probably trying to scratch an itch without the use of either of his hands.
"Right, back on topic: we dragged a bunch of paper from the recycling and some old shirts and just lit them up. Rob ended up telling us that he had just remembered there were those little sprinkler things on the ceilings, so the plan was probably a wash; I guess the school was such a shitheap that they just didn't work, though, because none of them went off," he continues, wiping his nose on his shoulder again while he catches his breath. "Anyways, when the fires really started going we all started freaking out, you know? We just wanted to make a little mess, maybe break some shit; we didn't actually want to burn down the school. We wanted a fire, not a ''*fire*'', you know what I mean?"
Nobody confirms that they know what he means. With only the four of you in the room it's much more obvious how weird it is that you pretty much never speak.
"Right. Well, I grab the fire extinguisher in the hallway, because those two were just gawking at the fire about a couple feet from them, and I put them all out myself. Of course, we all book it because we know that holding a fire extinguisher doesn't exactly make you a hero when you obviously set the fire to begin with," Matthew says before changing his demeanour to something genuinely positive for the first time all night. "Hey, we actually did something positive, you know? The school had to get a working fire prevention system after we pulled that stunt."
Neither Clara nor Emily seem particularly comfortable, suggesting that it isn't just you that thinks starting several fires on public property is a bit far for a prank.
"Well," Emily says, cutting her boyfriend off before he can say anymore, "I think I'll go next."
[["Do you want me to just cut them off?"|nys matthew response]]
(set: $partygoers to it - (a: "Matthew"))Yeah, that'd be nice just about now.
...
...
The two of you sit in silence.
It seems like there isn't much to say.
You guess the two have you have been speaking so much tonight that you've ran out of good topics for the time being. It happens.
"Wait, you remember our other conversations? Like, you remember them right now?" nys says, genuinely surprised.
It suddenly hits you that you're not sure what you remember. Upon closer inspection your memories seem half-formed and you are not quite at liberty to call upon them as you please. You're about as lucid as you can be, but that still doesn't amount to much.
Moments of clarity come and go, feeling as though you're staring into a bright light and can't look away. Oh god, what are you sitting next to? You need to run and keep running and never look ba-
No.
Those are not your thoughts and you will not let them be. The two of you have (link-reveal: "long since")[ (or very long since in the case of nys)] decided that the voice of the physical universe isn't something that should be dignified.No matter what it tries to force into your head when the two of you are near each other, those thoughts will never be welcome or accepted as your own.
[[Anyways...|nys matthew response continuation]]
It's hard to say exactly what you remember. Your grasp on the specifics is fleeting at best. You can tell that the two of you have been at this for a long time, slowly chipping away at the unpleasantness of the night together.
The problem lies in the fact that you've been at this for a while and your mind isn't any more gathered than it is, which suggests you've been forgetting things all night.
...
...
No response.
There's something you've been meaning to ask, but you decide to wait for a bit.
[[Next|Story end]]
This is really what she's going with, isn't she?
"My friend broke her arm doing some urban exploration," Emily says, not naming the friend as though that wasn't an important detail, "and she'd be in the hospital for a little while. I couldn't stand to leave her there alone to suffer, so I decided our friendship was more important than a couple classes."
You sneak a glance over at Clara. She has a very diplomatic fake smile plastered across her face.
"I brought over a bunch of snacks and some entertainment so we'd be able to enjoy ourselves. I had to go home every once in a while but whenever I could manage it I didn't leave her side that week," Emily says. "It was a little tiring, but that's what friends are for, right? Even then I felt a little useless, so sometimes I even helped out the nurses!"
She really is unbelievable. You don't mean that in a positive way.
"So I lied to my professors and skipped a bunch of classes," Emily says, "and I'd do it again if I had to. So, which of you wants to go next?"
[["Her act isn't too convincing without her entourage."|nys emily response]]
(set: $partygoers to it - (a: "Emily"))Frankly it wasn't to convincing with it, either.
"That's true," nys says. You have a feeling she was just setting you up for that one.
You are mildly appalled and yet not at all surprised by Emily's choice of story. You wonder if she even believed in this game to begin with.
"She did, actually," nys says, responding to your setup for her. "She was the only person set to come that held an inkling of belief in this whole thing."
The mystery behind Emily's motivations continues to deepen, you guess.
"The thing about her," nys says, "is that she functions off of a belief system created through shoving together cultural aspects she doesn't understand or hold any claim to; that, mixed with a lot of bizarre urban legend mythologies."
[[Ah.|nys emily response continuation]]
You know a lot of people on your dad's side of the family that behave similarly.
Not on your mother's side, though.
nys runs a hand through her hair and resumes her explanation. "Her plan was to tell a story that would make her look great in comparison to the dirt everyone else was supposed to be spilling. At the same time she reasoned that the lot of them would say enough awful shit, egging on the spirits, that it would make up for her chickening out. That's why she invited so many people, too."
Knowing this, you're even more frustrated with being stuck here. Tonight has gone from being a waste of time to a manipulative waste of time.
...
For what may be the fiftieth time tonight, a silence descends over the room.
...
"Hey," nys says, "do you still remember stuff that happened earlier?"
You actually do recall a conversation about high school clique bullshit, at the moment. You also recall talking about an (link-reveal: "Edwin's")[ (or maybe an Edward's)] awful idea; that memory is a lot harder to focus on, however.
"Good!" nys exclaims. "That's good."
[[Next|Story end]]
"It's mostly about their shared fear of the unfamiliar; they've all had to confront it since they became adults. For them, the future is uncertain and old clique politics are something they can understand," nys says, continuing to pick apart minds like that was a completely natural thing to do. "It's all the more appealing for the former nerds like Ted and John, who finally get to sit at the proverbial cool kid table."
"Still, I can't say it's exactly easy to hold much sympathy for the lot of them." nys looks around the room for emphasis as she says the last bit.
Her hand still feels nice in your own. You don't mind the occasional writhing sensation at all.
"Thanks."
[[Next|Story end]]
"Good," Clara says, "then I should be able to do this right, then. So what I did was break into the old abandoned house on the hill with some of my friends, although I'm not friends with all of them anymore is the thing."
She's way too comfortable right now. Neither of you actually know each other. Why is she doing this to you?
Clara is still oblivious to how you feel. "It was summer and we all decided that what we wanted to do more than anything was spend a night together in some weird place. It was supposed to be pretty innocent, you know, nothing... explicit," Clara says, straining for the right word. "We felt like somewhere creepy would be best, and the abandoned house seemed like the easiest option, you know?"
You guess that makes sense. You guess.
"I guess I'm just partial to creepy stuff. Maybe that's why I agreed to come to tonight?" she continues. You wonder if she realizes that something is off. Some part of you that you cannot explain says no, it's impossible for her to. "Anyways, we took off a couple of boards on the back door to get in and brought our sleeping bags and everything. We told a bunch of scary stories to pass the time. It was all pretty nice for the most part."
[[You have a bad feeling about this story for some reason.|Clara story continuation 2]]
"The thing was," Clara says, slowly building up in tone, "me and another friend woke up in the middle of the night, you know. Here we are, in some creepy old abandoned house, when the two of us just jolt awake because we hear a bunch of weird creaking noises; noises like someone was walking around. I mean, I'm sure you could understand that we were both freaked out."
You guess you can understand that. Something about all of this is still putting you on edge, however.
"So we look around and we realize that our other two friends weren't in their sleeping bags anymore," Clara says, gaining momentum with each word. "So we figured that it must have been our friends messing around with us, you know? The two of us went around to the kitchen, since that's where the noises were coming from, and guess what we find: they were kissing. I mean, it sounds romantic, right? But the two of us were actually shocked, because the thing was they were both guys."
Oh god damn it.
"I mean, we talk about how that kind of stuff is okay," Clara says, not shutting up, "but when you're actually confronted with it in person it's just so... weird? Like something about it looks so wrong. Like they were just going at each other. It wasn't like seeing normal people kiss, something just seemed kind of gross about it. That could be just me, though. What do you think?"
You have never been one to believe in snappy comebacks.
You've known a lot of straight people who have told you what they think they would have said in a given situation. They tell you what they think would sound witty when they have nothing to fear and nothing to lose. The actual, sensible response is often to shut up and nod until you're out of the room; the response that doesn't risk your well-being.
However, your memories are coming back to you. You know now that nys is about to make it so that Clara, like everyone else, never showed up tonight.
Nothing that happens here will matter aside from the emotional weight of hearing someone you'll have to smile and nod to for years to come saying these things.
With that said...
[["Clara, I'm a lesbian."|Clara story continuation 3]]
Clara's expression takes the form of a unique mix of disgust, shock, embarrassment, and guilt.
You could stand to not see a couple of those, but something about getting to do that was satisfying in its own way.
[["You always get so adventurous when you remember. It's really attractive."|Clara nys response]]
(set: $partygoers to it - (a: "Clara"))WOW.
"It's true," nys says, "and you seem so much happier, too."
You are now blushing in response to the obvious flirting.
"You're blushing," nys says, prodding you with something resembling a finger. She knows you knew. Of course she knows you knew. She's just trying to get you to blush more.
It's working.
"I'm sorry you had to put up with these people tonight," nys says. "It sucks that you don't have any friends here."
It seems almost unbelievable that everyone you meet outside of a few scattered social circles could be so cartoonishly awful, but this still always happens to you time and time again. Whoever tried to claim that young people were somehow more enlightened than their parents was a damn liar. No matter how polite everyone seems on the surface, these kinds of situations always end up going sour when they think they're among their peers.
"Do you want to keep going?" nys asks. "I could avoid interrupting you for a bit if you want."
You don't have any other thoughts worth having. If you kept thinking about this you'd just be repeating yourself over and over again. You have no idea why nys would ask that, however, since she should have known the answer.
"I figured you'd still appreciate me asking instead of just cutting you off," she says. It's true, too. You guess she already knew about that, as well.
There's something related to the topic of questions you could ask, but you still hold off on it for a bit.
[[Next|Story end]]
She's supposed to know everything, in a sense. Everyone's thoughts, everything that could happen, everything that will happen...
And yet every once in a while something related to this topic will come up and actually surprise her.
You never said anything the first time it happened and from there it snowballed into this eldritch elephant in the room.
She has yet to interrupt your thoughts.
...
...
...
[["It's because I'm afraid."|Your question 2]]
"I've never been capable of experiencing willful ignorance," nys says, "until I met you. I met you, and then something began to keep me from knowing just how much you remembered and how much you forgot. I was worried that something was wrong with me at first, but I eventually came to understand that it was because I finally had something I was afraid of losing."
Your thoughts are as blank as they could be. You try not to interrupt her.
"Before I met you no one ever remembered things that I had changed. The second I left the room, people would even forget me. I'd meet someone who wouldn't run screaming from me and we'd talk; we'd talk and if I turned away from them for a moment they'd instantly forget who I was. It was like I had never met them before."
She doesn't stop talking. It all flows out at once.
"I felt so alone, so jaded. I was convinced there was no point to anything. No point to anything I did. No point to me," she says, sounding as though on the verge of tears. "I'd considered not changing things around, but that wouldn't stop people from forgetting me; I wasn't about to let myself be trapped like that for nothing."
Just keep your thoughts blank. Let her talk.
[["Then I met you."|Your question 3]]
<span id="ending">THE END</span>
"I passed by you," she says, "on the way to look for something. I was so past caring about people at that point that I didn't care who saw me and freaked out for a couple of seconds before I was gone. You squeaked out the cutest little greeting that I thought it was all worth it just for that. So polite, even when faced with an utter abomination. Do you remember what you said when I popped back into that hallway?"
How could you forget. You said "Hi, again." You were such a dork.
"Those two words meant more to me than anything anyone had ever said to me," nys says, nuzzling up to you. "Back then I didn't know you could remember me because I didn't think it was a possibility."
She stops leaning on your shoulder and pulls back.
"Now I don't know because I'm worried that any day now you'll stop remembering," she says, her tone growing somber, "or maybe you'll just remember less. I'd rather get to enjoy being with you than have to live with knowing if this will all come to an end one day, so I shut off my ability to know the truth. I don't know what to do so I don't think about it or say anything."
"I don't want to go back to the way I was," nys continues. "I think the worst part is that it'd hurt even more than before because I know I'll never get you back. You're the only person I've met that remembers me, and somehow you turned out to be perfect."
You let go of her hand and the room grows could.
You wrap both of your arms around nys and the tension departs.
The two of you just sit like that for a while.
[["I love you."|your story nys response]]
You both said it at once. The two of you laugh in response to your synchronized gushing.
"Remember when you sent me a Valentine's day card without signing it?" you say, prodding where her cheek would be.
"I thought it would be romantic!" she exclaims, trying to defend herself. "I was trying to be mysterious."
"You know everything! How did you ever think that would work?" you say. You're just joking around with her, of course.
"I wasn't thinking!" nys says. "I just kind of assumed that it would be romantic so the weird omniscience thing just kind of didn't... kick in."
You playfully shove her shoulder. "I didn't even remember you when I got it. I thought I had a secret admirer. If you told me it was from a girlfriend I didn't even know I had I would have died of shock," you say. "I remember I was terrified because I was worried it could have been a boy; some boy I'd have to get around to rejecting at some point."
The two of you laugh. Laughing helps. Laughing helps so much.
[[Next|Finale 1]]
"I'm sorry I forget things. I'm sorry that I worry you. More than anything, though, I'm sorry that you had to suffer like this alone."
[[Next|Finale 2]]
"It's not your fault. I'm sorry that I'm a mind-reading weirdo. I'm sorry that I don't know how to act normally. Most of all, I'm sorry that you have to live with knowing about things like me."
[[Next|Finale 3]]
"You can't blame yourself for that."
[[Next|Finale 4]]
"How about we agree to disagree?"
[[Next|Finale 5]]
"How about we agree neither of us did anything wrong, instead?"
[[Next|Finale 6]]
"I think I'm good with that."
[[Next|Story end]]