They have taken that from you.\nYou are nowhere. \n\nNowhere is better than heaven.\n\nAnd you [[made it|mm]].

You go to the lesson [[hungover]].

He calls your name and you turn and smile. You ask him what he'd like - Wine of course, why do you even ask anymore. \nYou bring it to him, you are [[careful|fuckk]].

Just as you've been told\n_{by nxlled}\n\nPlease read the [[warnings]]. \n\nYou may [[begin]].\n

You tell yourself so often, so often, This is luck.\n\nlucky <<timedcontinue .4s>> lucky <<timedcontinue .4s>> lucky <<timedcontinue .4s>> lucky<<timedcontinue .4s>>lucky\n<<timedcontinue .4s>>lucky<<timedcontinue .4s>>lucky<<timedcontinue .2s>>luck<<timedcontinue .2s>>luck<<timedcontinue .2s>>luck<<timedcontinue .2s>>luck<<timedcontinue .2s>>luck<<timedcontinue .2s>>luck<<timedcontinue .2s>>fuck<<timedcontinue .2s>>fuck<<timedcontinue .2s>>fuck<<timedcontinue .2s>>this<<timedcontinue .2s>>fuck<<timedcontinue .2s>>this<<timedcontinue .2s>>isnotluck<<timedcontinue .2s>>itsnotitsnotits<<timedcontinue .2s>>luck\n<<timedcontinue 1s>>\nYou got [[lucky.|fuck]]

[[End.]]

You are scared\n<<timedcontinue 1s>>\nYou are so good\n<<timedcontinue 1s>>\nYou are so good, <<timedcontinue .5s>> so good, <<timedcontinue .5s>>so good\n<<timedcontinue .7s>>\nYou are his favorite\n<<timedcontinue 1s>>\nHow lucky. You are so lucky. \n<<timedcontinue 1s>>\nyou worked [[very hard|please no]] for that.

This?\nThis is not a sin this touch is not a sin\n<<timedcontinue .3s>>\nthey told you its not <<timedcontinue .3s>>\nyou believe them because you believe what they say <<timedcontinue .3s>>\nbecause you are good <<timedcontinue .3s>>\nbecause they say so <<timedcontinue .3s>>\nbecause you have to <<timedcontinue .3s>>\nbecause you are a soldier <<timedcontinue .3s>>\nbecause that is your job <<timedcontinue .3s>>\nbecause you listen <<timedcontinue .3s>>\nbecause theyre the ones with the weapons <<timedcontinue .3s>>\nbecause you cant afford not to <<timedcontinue .3s>>\nbecause youre afraid of what it means if it is <<timedcontinue .3s>>\nbecause good angels dont sin <<timedcontinue .3s>>\nyou are good<<timedcontinue .3s>>\nyou are so good <<timedcontinue .3s>>\nso good <<timedcontinue .3s>> \nyou dont sin <<timedcontinue .3s>> \n\nThis is not a [[sin.|4]]

You are in bed.\n\nYou watch feathers fall slowly, gently, land on the floor with such finesse. \nWhy cant you fall with such [[grace|10]].

Please please don't reward me please\n\nI'm begging I'm really begging please just leave me [[alone]].

You are in the gardens.\n\nHiding behind the shed, [[throwing up|2]].\n

You are in the hall.\n\nTheir eyes are on you, they watch and you are [[terrified|no]].

You are in bed.\n\nYou let your tears and the sound of others' gentle breathing lul you to [[sleep|3]].

You are in the garden.\n\nYou look at the colors previously in your stomach.\nYou still feel sick.\nA fresh sob leaves your mouth \nThat is better than [[before.|6]]

You are in a room.\n\nYou admire the stained glass, it is beautiful. The colors are [[vivid.|5]]\n

You are in the hall. \n\nHe comes up to you and puts his hand on your shoulder. \nYou feel sick. \n\n"Are you attending tonight?"\n\nNo<<timedcontinue .3s>>, no <<timedcontinue .1s>>no<<timedcontinue .1s>>no<<timedcontinue .1s>>no<<timedcontinue .1s>>no<<timedcontinue .1s>>nonononono<<timedcontinue .1s>>nonononono<<timedcontinue .1s>>nonononono<<timedcontinue .1s>>nonononono<<timedcontinue .1s>>nonononono<<timedcontinue .1s>>NO\n<<timedcontinue 3s>>\n"Yes."\n\nGood. \n\nYou are so [[good.|pleaseplease]]

You are in bed.\n\nYou glance across the gap, inches and yet \nit felt like miles. \nYou wish you knew how to cross that gap.\nYou lack the energy to [[try.|7]]

You are in the garden. \n\nYou watch the wind chimes from a bench and you try not to focus on the shed to your right.\nYou [[try|9.5]].

You are in a room.\n\nThis is the cathedral. It is beautiful. You pray for forgiveness. You pray for this to end. \nYou are not sure what "this" is. \nPlease let it end.\n[[Please.|9]]

You are so good\n<<timedcontinue 1s>> so good<<timedcontinue .5s>> so good<<timedcontinue .5s>>so good so<<timedcontinue .5s>>good so good \n[[so good so good so good so good so good|please]]

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It does not matter how careful you are. \n\nHis hands are on you before you get the chance to step away.\n\nYou squirm.\n\nHe laughs.\n\nThe tears on your cheek do not dry by the time you [[wake up.|pleaseno]]

You are in a room. \n\nThe room is big, beautifully furnished, [[well lit|1]].

You are nowhere, not [[anymore|goodgood]].

please be cautious. \nwarnings for rape, sexual abuse, brainwashing, emetephobia, repetition, religious ideas/concepts. \n\nBack to [[Start]]?

You do not usually drink. Did you drink? You cant remember. Your memory is spotty. Perhaps your crying caused your head to pound. Your stomach is churning.\n\nYou are called to the front of the [[class|11]]

You will be [[rewarded.|nogodno]]

Just as you've been told

You will fidget and try to hide yourself from them. You can feel eyes on your skin. \n\nShe grabs your hand she asks you to stay she sips her wine she looks at you expectantly and you shake. \nYour body shakes.\n\nYou shake your head.\nYou back away and you hear your name get called. \nno...<<timedcontinue 5s>>no <<timedcontinue .5s>>[[no.|8]]

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You do not understand why you are called to the front. \nThere is a hand on your back and you dont understand and you do not like this and you do not understand.\nSuddenly there is a voice in your ear whispering, 'you were always my favorite.'\n<<timedcontinue 5s>>\nYou are so good. Y<<timedcontinue .2s>>ou are<<timedcontinue .2s>> so go<<timedcontinue .2s>>od sogo<<timedcontinue .2s>>oodsogood s<<timedcontinue .2s>>ogood so goo<<timedcontinue .2s>>d so good so good<<timedcontinue .2s>>goodgoodgood<<timedcontinue .2s>>goodgood<<timedcontinue .2s>>godhelpme \n<<timedcontinue 1s>>\nNo one else seems to [[notice|helpme]]

You are in the hall.\n\nSomeone comes up to you. She asks how you got so lucky to get the chance to advance. And so quickly. You have all of these private meetings, you must be so proud. \n\n"I guess I really was just lucky."\n\n[[lucky.|shit]]

You are in [[bed|14]].

You are in the [[garden|13]].

It does not matter where you are.\n<<timedcontinue 1s>>\nYou are in heaven\n<<timedcontinue 1s>>so you cannot complain\n<<timedcontinue 1s>>You are in heaven\n<<timedcontinue 1s>>You follow orders<<timedcontinue 1s>>\nYou are <<replace>>good <<gains>>good <<gains>>good <<gains>> good<<gains>> [[good]]<<endreplace>>

You are in the [[hall|15]].

You made it to the nowhere that is better than heaven. \n\nThis is [[nowhere|end]].

You are in a [[room|12]].

nxlled

Thank you for reading. \n\n[[Back to start?|Start]]