Would you like to win a date with Channing Tatum?
Let's begin.
[[start]]<img src="http://i.imgur.com/fAtgs69.jpg">
How many jelly beans are in this jar?
[[677]]
[[802]]
[[420]]<img src="http://media.giphy.com/media/1pxfDnIhcSZ2w/giphy.gif">
Goshdangit! That's not the right answer.
[[start]]<img src="http://media.giphy.com/media/naQXuLdlyrPIA/giphy.gif">
Oh noes, that's not the right answer!
[[start]]<img src="http://i.imgur.com/dfP0Qpd.jpg">
Congratulations, you've won a date with Channing Tatum!
[[Meet at the best danged taco place in town]]<img src="http://i.imgur.com/T9u4zXC.jpg">
'So nice to meet you! I came here a little early to make sure I staked out the best spot. That's a beautiful dress, it really matches your eyes.'
[[Thank you!]]
[[I want to lick your eyeball with my tongue]]<img src="http://i.imgur.com/ikjEOyv.jpg">
'I can't wait to get to know you better. How was your day?'
[[Fantastic]]
[[Hard]]
[[I really need a drink]]<img src="http://i.imgur.com/u82X4ha.gif">
'Hey, that's awesome! You wanna hear me recite the email I sent Sony executives after "22 Jump Street" beat "Ted" at the box office?'
[[Absolutely]]<img src="http://i.imgur.com/hUetJmX.jpg">
'Oh no, that makes me really sad. But I know what it's like to have a hard day. I had to have, like, three assistants drag me out of bed every morning when I was shooting "GI Joe: Rise of the Cobra." Why was today so hard?'
[[Mercury was in retrograde]]
[[I had a fight with my sister]]
<img src="http://i.imgur.com/6h7QXoB.jpg">
'I know that feeling! I finished off an entire bottle of Jose Cuervo after I saw the first edit of "Jupiter Ascending." I can't believe I took that role! Anyway, I took the liberty of ordering you a margarita. Do you like margaritas?'
[[Does the Pope shit in the woods?]]<img src="http://i.imgur.com/5I4ZzDO.jpg">
'I like you, you're funny. So, what's on your mind?'
[[Tough day at work]]
[[My ex keeps popping up on Facebook]]
<img src="http://www.thefablife.com/files/2013/06/Channing-tatum.gif">
'That's really sad. Work is such an important part of who we are, but it's not all we are, you know? Like, I'm more than a set of abs and some really great dance moves. I also have a heart.'
[[That's so true]]<img src="http://i.imgur.com/5tgXQSn.jpg">
'So tell me about your day. What went wrong?'
[[I just find the business of selling my labour so alienating]]
[[My boss is a dick]]
[[Someone stole my sandwich from the fridge]]<img src="http://i.imgur.com/6v2KxAN.jpg">
'Oh man, tell me about it! You ever seen GI Joe?'
[[Lol nope]]<img src="http://i.imgur.com/UN9jcWW.jpg">
'Roland Emmerich just tortured me on the set of "White House Down." Like, I still hear his German voice in my nightmares, telling me to be more emotional, no, less emotional, no, bigger, no, smaller, and I was like, MAKE UP YOUR MIND ROLAND EMMERICH! But you know what really helped?'
[[No, what really helped?]]<img src="http://i.imgur.com/Qu3bO9C.jpg">
'Oh no! What kind of sandwich was it?'
[[Grilled vegetables and hummus]]<img src="http://i.imgur.com/8Oo4N0x.jpg">
'Nice! That's a really balanced lunch you've got there. Eating clean is so important for your body, you know?'
[[Salads and stuff?]]<img src="http://i.imgur.com/11W4Zhh.gif">
'Do Doritos count as a salad ingredient?'
[[haha]]<img src="http://i.imgur.com/JnDlzzn.jpg">
'I really like you. You wanna go for a walk? I'll tell you all about Jonah Hill.'
You tell him yes. As he takes your hand you breathe in his scent; he smells like the first day of summer. You feel every anxiety float away from your body.
[[start]]<img src="http://i.imgur.com/p2UAj4b.jpg">
'Right? Nobody has, no one but little kids. And the thing is I don't support the military industrial complex, like, at all, but it's our laziest, most obvious model for cinematic masculinity, you know?'
[[I didn't know you felt that way]]<img src="http://i.imgur.com/RrijhSQ.jpg">
'You know, it's like we're all trapped in this capitalist hamster wheel. Sometimes the only way out is through genuine human connection.'
He gazes deep into your eyes.
You feel healed for the first time in months, whole again.
[[start]]<img src="http://i.imgur.com/JjiSDuE.jpg">
'Sometimes it feels like everything is against you. I felt like that back when I was a stripper in Florida. But the hardest times can make you really strong. I took those times as a stripper and used them to write the script for "Magic Mike."'
[[That's amazing]]<img src="http://i.imgur.com/EzvbdfR.jpg">
'I'm sorry to hear that. Family is so important. Family and friendship.'
[[I know, but she can be, well, such a bitch]]<img src="http://i.imgur.com/Ol1lzal.jpg">
'I believe in you. No matter what happened today, I know you'll take that grit and turn it into a pearly and wonderful future.'
[[Thank you]]<img src="http://i.imgur.com/wKjNusV.jpg">
He takes your hand in both of his and looks deep into your eyes.
You feel them well up with tears.
'Ssh,' he says, wiping away a tear with his thumb. 'It's okay. Channing's here.'
And you truly believe him.
[[start]]<img src="http://i.imgur.com/PtW2ji4.jpg">
'We all have our off days. Aren't there times when you feel less than your best?'
[[I guess you're right, I hadn't thought of it that way]]<img src="http://newnownext.mtvnimages.com/2015/03/tumblr_n4ggsnUjLl1r78yrco9_400.gif">
'Maybe you should give her a call? Talk things out? I'm sure you guys can work it out.'
Channing reaches for your hand. His hand is warm, calloused from hard work, his grasp firm but gentle. As you take it, you know he's right.
'You're right, I will call her,' you feel yourself say.
He smiles, and orders another round of margaritas. It's going to be a good night.
[[start]]<img src="http://i.imgur.com/29sdhDf.jpg">
'Talking to a friend about it. At the end of the day I'd crack a few beers with Jamie Foxx and we'd shoot the shit, vent our feelings in a safe environment. It's really important to feel heard and understood.'
[[I just want someone to hear me]]<img src="http://i.imgur.com/K3B2QxH.gif">
'I hear you. I really hear you.'
Channing leans forward and pulls you into a hug, gently squeezing out all the tension you didn't know you'd been carrying.
'C'mon,' he says with a lopsided smile. 'Let's go get old fashioneds and talk this one through.'
[[start]]'Facebook, is, like, the worst. The problem isn't your ex - it's that you keep looking to other people on social media when you could be out living your life.'
[[You're so right]]<img src="http://i.imgur.com/0t2hGuZ.jpg">
'It's easy enough to zone out on Facebook, but it can really wear away your happiness. And for what? Who cares about your ex? Guy's clearly got no taste, anwyay.'
[[Oh, Channing]]<img src="http://i.imgur.com/pOo0Xzg.jpg">
He springs to your feet and grabs your hand, his eyes twinkling with mischief.
'C'mon,' he says, 'let's go make some memories.'
[[start]]<img src="http://i.perezhilton.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/channing-tatum-jonah-hill-22-jump-street-sony-leaked-email.gif">
'F YOU TED !!!! SECOND OF ALLLL TIMMMMME BEEEOTCH!!!! COME ON JUMPSTREETERS WE GOT CATE BLANCHETT WIT DIS BOX OFFICE BITCHES!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA<br>HHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA<br>HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAAHAHHAHAHA<br>HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAH<br>AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHA<br>HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH<br>AHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH<br>AHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAH<br>AHAHAAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH<br>AHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH<br>AHHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH<br>AHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAHHAAHHAHA<br>HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAH<br>AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAAHAHHAHAHAH<br>AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH<br>AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA<br>AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA<br>HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA<br>HAHAAHHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA<br>AAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH<br>AHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH<br>AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAAHAHHAH<br>AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHA<br>HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAH<br>AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA<br>HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA<br>HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA<br>HAHAHAHAAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA<br>HAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH<br>AAHAHHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA<br>HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAHHAAHH<br>AHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAH<br>HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAAHAHHAHA<br>HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA<br>HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHH<br>AHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH<br>AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH<br>AHAHAHAAHHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH<br>AHAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHA<br>HAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA<br>HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAAHAH<br>HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAHAH<br>AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHA<br>HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH<br>AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH<br>AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA<br>HHAHAHAHAHAAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH<br>AHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA<br>HAHAAHAHHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAH<br>AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAHHA<br>AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHH<br>AAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAAHAHH<br>AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAH<br>AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH<br>AHHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHA<br>HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA<br>HAHAHAHAHAAHHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA<br>HAHAHAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHHAHAHAH<br>AHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH<br>AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAA<br>HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA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'That was tiring. You wanna touch my abs?'
[[Yes. Yes I do.]]'Get it, girl.'
You run your hands down Channing Tatum's abs. They feel like winning a full ride scholarship to grad school.
[[start]]<img src="http://data1.whicdn.com/images/55645226/large.gif">
'Haha, that's a good one! You're really funny.'
[[Thank you!]]