51 Weekends

4 p.m., Friday Class ended, you ate, and you're back home at your dorm. You've got some projects due next week, got a few readings you're behind on, and you have two or three life chores you should eventually get to - still owe Aunt Jane a thank you letter, still need to ship back that book. You've been thinking about starting an exercise routine for...a while, now. You've got a few hours where you can take a break, though. It's Friday. [[Play a game]] [[Catch up on some videos]]

You drown out a few hours in the latest title you've purchased. It was on sale during the week. The gameplay is okay. Feels good to explore and zone into something new. You're caught off-guard when you see the time has ticked past 7:30p.m. - the food hall will be closing up soon, so you wrap up your game and head to [[dinner.]]

You start catching up on videos that came out during the week. New content is abundant - video hosting sites are paying creators to make longer and longer videos faster and faster. The viewing begins. There are things going on the world that you should be angry at. There are people in the world that you should be laughing at for being angry at different things than you. There are also a lot of compilations YOU WON'T BELIEVE and MUST SEE. You're caught off-guard when you see the time has ticked past 7:30p.m. - the food hall will be closing up soon, so you finish the last video and head to [[dinner.]]

7:30 p.m., Friday It's quiet in the food hall. Few people come here Friday night. You start to reflect while you eat. It's hard to keep track of everything. Your laundry isn't too close to all dirty, but plenty of your good clothes are still in the bin. There's an indeterminate [[mass of homework]] you could sort through when you get back to your room. You could also keep [[taking a break]] for an hour or so when you get back, work til its late.

Dinner was gobbled down before you realized it - you barely tasted each bite while in thought. Getting back to your room, you start opening computer windows to show you your syallabuses and online assignments. There's a lot more here than you thought, so you start noting down a large list. There's quite a bit of work to go around, so you start making a schedule too. A short online quiz is up for one of your classes, so you get through that too. Almost everything seems to be on Google, so you pass it fine. Hey, let's send that email you needed to send too. A few hours later you have a to do list and a schedule. It's getting [[late.->late]]

Dinner was gobbled down before you realized it - you barely tasted each bite while in thought. You spend a few more hours browsing the web and gaming. It's pretty [[late]] now.

11 p.m., It's gotten dark out. You know you should probably go to bed soon. You settle for one last video before bed. And maybe that next one the site's recommending. Ok, just this one too. And that one as well. It's not until your roommate flicks off the light at 2:14 that you think about crawling into bed. It isn't until 2:57 that you remember your sleeping pills. It isn't until 3:23 that you fall into a restless sleep. And it isn't until 11:27 that you're awake again with your morning gone. [[Saturday]]

11:27 a.m., Saturday Well, 12:04 p.m., Saturday. You had to get through the groggy malaise of morning phone browsing before you started to think about your day. You leave your phone behind as you walk out to get lunch. It's good to do that, you've heard. Your thoughts are still a chitter chatter as you eat. Back in your dorm, in the shower, the chitter chatter keeps going. That project needs doing. That friend might like this gift. What did that other friend mean by that? I need to shampoo my hair while I'm in here. I should remember to write Aunt Jane that letter. What did that other friend really mean by that? How long have I been in here? I need to use my body wash now. This reminds me of the time I was at the library too long. I need to [[Get out of the shower]].

1:37 p.m., Saturday You're seated back in your room and on your phone. A notification pops up. FRIEND: Hey. FRIEND: We're meeting up at the den for games. Wanna come? : [[Yeah, I'll be there soon]] : I don't feel like it. [[I've got to do some work first, sorry]]

The next few hours go by with your FRIENDS. You feel distracted through the course of it, but still laugh a few times, make others laugh a few times. 6 p.m., Saturday stops by to check in on you. Your FRIENDS decide they're they're going to go and do ACTIVITIY for a few hours. You think ACTIVITY is alright. It's not your favorite ACTIVITY, but it's still an ACTIVITY with FRIENDS. : "Sure, let's go and do some [[ACTIVITY]]." : "[[I gotta get through a bit of work.]] Maybe I'll catch you all after you go and ACTIVITY."

Sleeping in so late and busying yourself this afternoon took much more of a toll than you thought. After rumbling through your papers for a while, you ultimately decide to nap. When you wake back up, it's dark out. Your phone vibrates with a text. Ah. 10:30 p.m., Saturday, FRIEND: "Hey, we finished up that ACTIVITY. Wanna come over for bevs and movies?" [[Join them]] [[Work at home]]

ACTIVITY isn't your favorite ACTIVITY, but it isn't the worst ACTIVITY. It's alright with your FRIENDS. After all this ACTIVITY, your friends are heading back to one of their apartments for bevs and movies. Maybe you could join them. Maybe you could head home, get some work in this evening. It's fairly late. 10:30 p.m., Saturday, late, to be exact. [[Join them]] [[Work at home]]

"I've got to do some work first, sorry" FRIEND: "Alright, we're going to go out later at 6. I'll talk to you again." FRIEND is a good FRIEND. Sometimes they joke about how you don't feel like doing anything, but they still invite you to come along. You spend the next few hours organzing your work and getting through the easy tasks. Pieces requiring critical thinking lead your mind astray and you find yourself browsing the web more than you'd like. 6 p.m., Saturday stops by to check in on you. So does your FRIEND. FRIEND: "Hey, we're going to go out and do ACTIVITY. I know you aren't the biggest fan of ACTIVITY and that you don''t often ACTIVITY, but do you wanna come ACTIVITY?" : "Sure, let's go and do some [[ACTIVITY]]." : "[[I gotta get through a bit of work.]] Maybe I'll catch you all after you go and ACTIVITY."

A night of bevs and movies awaits. You knock back several rounds to get through the two films your FRIENDS pick out. A TITLE YOU HEARD OF BUT WEREN'T INTERESTED IN and SOMETHING YOU NEVER HEARD OF AND CERTAINLY WOULDN'T SEE IF YOU WERERN'T THIS INTOXICATED are okay. Yet the clock on the wall displays an alarming 3 a.m. to you. How do they do this every weekend? This is too much. You're so tired. Go home and [[sleep]]

11 p.m., Saturday You crunch together your effort and try to get through some work. Motivation to spend the evening well soon dries up when you stumble into a rough piece of work. You let your attention waver back over to the Internet for a spell, caught quite surprised when the lights are wordlessly flicked off by your dormmate. It's already 3:00 a.m., Sunday. Time to [[sleep]]

Sunday, 11 a.m. You're roused from your slumber. You pick up your phone on habit. Sunday, 12 p.m. Oh. It went by so fast. Better get lunch. Better shower. Sunday, 1:30 p.m. That's taken care of. Let's play a game for a bit. Sunday, 2 p.m. Just a bit longer. Just one hour. Sunday, 3:15 p.m. Okay, that went a bit longer than you wanted. Time to get started at least. You pull out your materials and start to work. But you don't really understand this concept that well. You haven't made it to class too often and the textbook feels indecipherable at this point in the year. Maybe some videos could teach you a few things. Sunday, 4:20 p.m. You latched on to "420" as "the weed number" a while ago. It was pretty ironic at first. Sometimes you still make jokes about it on instinct. No one really laughs. Sometimes you can't stop the words from slipping out after you formulated them. Keeping track of time can be hard for you at times, but what 4:20 often signifies to you though, in the a.m. or the p.m. is that time has certainly passed and that it's time to wrap up whatever you're messing around with. Sunday, 5 p.m. You've finally got your notes out and have started trying to pick through some of the harder work. It's exhausting. You slipped some caffeine into your diet today, but you're still yawning like crazy now. Maybe you need a break. Sunday, 6 p.m. [[Take a break at dinner.]]

You're falling asleep doing all of this. How does everyone else seem to do so much? What are you missing? You're trying, right? It feels like it. Your dinner consists of pizza and a sugary, caffeinated soda. You've been dieting. Kind of. I deserve this enough, you tell yourself. Finishing your last bites, you contemplate how to end the evening. You could pack it in now. [[Call it a night.]] [[Could keep going.]] Try to get some more work done before bed.

Sunday, 7 p.m. Back in your room, you try to put more hours in. There's a bit more success. It doesn't feel like enough. Looking over at your to-do list, you made it through maybe 1/5 of the material. You're yawning too hard to continue. It's not easy to think. You spend a last few minutes organizing your notes before calling it a night. Your roommate is going to be up for a few more hours. You can just sleep with the light on. You don't want to disturb him. Sunday, 10 p.m. You're so [[sleepy]]

Monday, 1:57 a.m. why am I awake again it's too much 2:23 can more sleeping pills help me 3:17 i'm thirsty this sucks 4:26 fuck at least there's next [[weekend]]

Sunday, 7 p.m. You've decided to call it quits. You tried to get work done and you're just out of energy. You've organized things together a little bit. You can get more done tomorrow. You spend a last few hours browsing the web before calling it a night. Your roommate is going to be up for a few more hours. You can just sleep with the light on. You don't want to disturb him. Sunday, 10 p.m. You're so [[sleepy]]