What do you like doing? \n\n[[Oh you know, the usual - dancing, sewing, painting|religion][$arts += 1]]\n[[Oh you know, the usual - horseriding, fencing, falconry|religion][$military += 1]]\n[[Oh you know, the usual - reading, conversing, politics|religion][$diplomacy += 1]]\n\n\n

How do you confront the Crimson Crows? \n\n[[I sympathise with their unhappiness about the treatment of poor colonists. I’ll hire some of their leaders into roles where they can support empowerment of the Pov.|dayofthegods][$attitude += 2]]\n[[I investigate them carefully, and when I know there’s a strong case against a person, I have them locked up. Executed, if they’re guilty of higher offenses. |dayofthegods][$attitude += 1]]\n[[I make them disappear - either the guilty party, or their loved ones. I’m clever like that. |dayofthegods][$attitude -= 2]]

On the eve of your marriage, assassins attack the throne room, murdering the current King and his heir, your husband’s only older brother. How do you protect yourself?\n\n[[I rely on the guards for protection|firstnight]]\n[[I grab a sword and start hacking|firstnight][$military += 2]]\n[[I hide brilliantly and escape|firstnight]]

\nThat evening, after all the ceremonies are complete and the Royal Household goes to bed, there is a march on the palace. \n\nWhat happens to you now? Will anyone defend you? Or will you defend yourself? \n\nYOU SCORED: \n\n<<print $military>> Military Prowess\n<<print $arts>> Arts and Aesthetics\n<<print $diplomacy>> Diplomacy and Political Savvy\n\nYou scored <<print $attitude>> for "attitude". This might be replaced with a "popularity" variable, or I might keep it in case you can somehow be a popular bitch. \n\n<<if $queer == 1>>You told us you were a big ol' queer, but we haven't given you a lady love just yet. We're totally working on it!<<endif>>\n\n[[Try again|Start]]\n\n\n\n\n\nThis is where the conclusion should be. \n\nHigh Military, High Popularity: Survive uprising with the option of a full military crackdown\nHigh Arts, High Popularity: Crown is overthrown, but you are able to become a respectable private citizen\nHigh Political, High Popularity: You can persuade the mob to your side\nHigh Military, Low popularity: Your only option is a full military crackdown, and if Political scores are also low you may not survive\nHigh Arts, Low popularity: Off with her head!\nLow Political, Low popularity: Very very off with her head!\n\n\nHigh Mil, Low Pol, Low Art – the Generalissima\nHigh Mil, High Pol, Low Art – the Ruler\nLow Mil, High Pol, Low Art – the Schemer\nLow Mil, Low Pol, High Art – the Romantic\nLow Mil, High Pol, High Art – the Philosopher\n\n\n \nHigh Military, High Political, High Arts – should a player be able to do this?\nWhat happens if a player gets intermediate scores in all things?\n \n\n\n\n

Evidence is flowing in about the identity and demands of the assassins. They call themselves the Crimson Crows, after the national bird of your poorest colony, and they seek independence for the colonies - all of the colonies - and the overthrow of the royal family. How do you feel about their demands? \n\n[[These insolent bastards should be grateful they were invaded by us instead of the Iron Horde. I’ll slay all of them and protect the Empire. |crimsoncrows2][$attitude -= 3]]\n[[I don’t give a shit about their demands. They threaten me and my loved ones.|crimsoncrows2][$attitude -= 2]]\n[[Independence for the colonies is a fine ambition. Slaying the King, not so much.|crimsoncrows2][$attitude += 1]]

Are you religious?\n\n[[Devoutly. I make sacrifices to the gods and observe holy days and expect others to do the same.|militarism][$devotion += 2]]\n[[Casually. I believe in powers beyond our understanding, and observe the holy days.|militarism][$devotion += 1]]\n[[No. But without religion the commoners get out of control, so I observe as an example. |militarism][$devotion += 0]]

Your religious leader has advised that, for the benefit of your soul and the prestige of the royal family, you should visit the Abbey of the Starving Waifs to assist in feeding the poor. What do you do? \n\n[[Take a full parade of courtiers and your richest finery. It will be so exciting for the poor to meet their Queen! (and, ok, an armed retinue can’t hurt)|relaxSQ][$military +=1]]\n[[Dress nicely, but don’t tell the staff or the waifs who you are. They know you’re a noble, but there’s no reason to rub it in their face. |relaxSQ][$diplomacy +=1]]\n[[Don’t visit at all. Make a donation from the royal coffers, that should keep them happy. |relaxSQ][$attitude -=1]]

On your wedding night, your husband begs off consummating the marriage, what with all the murders and stuff. \n\n[[I’m sad - I want to comfort him. But I respect his wishes.|funerals][$attitude += 2]]\n[[I'm relieved, as I vastly prefer the company of women. |funerals][$queer += 1]]\n[[I’m disgusted. He's a lily-livered coward.|funerals][$attitude -= 2]]\n

How do you feel about the Armed Forces?\n\n[[Support the Troops!|assassins][$military += 2]]\n[[A tool, no more or less|assassins][$military += 1]]\n[[Ugh, war. How horrible.|assassins][$military -= 2]]

What are you doing to ensure the security and prosperity of the Empire? \n\n[[Establishing trade routes within and outside of the Empire. |charitySQ][$diplomacy +=1]]\n[[Endow schools, ensuring that everyone up to the age of majority can at least read and write. |charitySQ][$arts +=1]]\n[[Increase the draft and project military might at home and abroad. |charitySQ][$military +=1]]\n[[Put up statues of yourself EVERYWHERE.|charitySQ][$attitude -=1]]

You're the Queen - surely you are entitled to *some* diversion. \n\n[[Hunting and falconry with the highest ranking nobles of the Empire.|babies][$diplomacy +=1]] \n[[Form a sewing circle to create a tapestry in honour of the late King, composed of women from various levels of society. |babies][$arts +=1][$diplomacy +=1]] \n[[Reading - fiction, non-fiction, poetry, religious tomes, literature, trash.|babies][$arts +=1]] \n[[Sailing between the Empire’s islands, making yourself known to the colonists and the natives and battling the odd pirate.|babies][$diplomacy +=1][$military +=1]]

An important noble disagrees with one of your nation-building ambitions. Your husband likes and trusts him, but you know he’s straight-up wrong. What do you do? \n\n[[Make your case to the whole court, marshaling facts and figures til they can’t help be convinced.|crimsoncrows1][$diplomacy += 1]]\n[[Plant seeds of doubt in your husband’s mind about the noble’s reliability and loyalty. If he was REALLY your loyal ally, would he try to steer you wrong? |crimsoncrows1][$diplomacy += 2]]\n[[Have him removed. Give him an ambassadorship to the furthest ally you have.|crimsoncrows1][$attitude += 0]]\n[[Have him “removed”. Make it look like an accident. |crimsoncrows1][$attitude -= 1]]

It’s time for you to formally meet your public! What’s the best way to do this? \n\n[[A grand parade with full military colours to show our might!|ball][$military += 1]]\n[[An arts and music festival with gay apparel to show our spirit!|ball][$arts += 1]]\n[[Don’t make an appearance right now. It’s way too dangerous.|ball][$diplomacy += 1]]

EPIC PRINCESS GAME\n\nby Barbara Kerr\n\n[[Once upon a time, in a land far, far away...|once]]

It’s coming up to The Day of the Gods, the Empire’s biggest holiday, where people from all countries and cultures in the Empire make offerings to their various gods and give gifts to their parents, teachers, employers and the Royal Family. How will you celebrate? \n\n[[Discreetly, staying in the palace with carefully vetted noble visitors.|revolution][$attitude += 1]]\n[[Subtly, making a quick appearance in public and accepting gifts from adorable children.|revolution][$attitude += 1]]\n[[Pompously and publicly! I love presents, even crap ones! |revolution][$attitude += 1]]\n[[Openly, with swift humiliation for people whose presents displease me.|revolution][$attitude += 1]]

You throw a ball to meet the most important people in the Empire. You have to talk to everyone, but who do you actually *like*? \n\n[[The jousting champion from your palace|empireSQ][$military += 1]]\n[[The opera singer from the rich colony|empireSQ][$arts += 1]]\n[[The National Librarian from the poor colony|empireSQ][$diplomacy += 1]]\n[[The 7 year old daughter of the Head Chef|empireSQ]]

Time to make babies! \n\n[[Enthusiastically - your husband is handsome and kind and aside from the whole Empire-building thing, you really enjoy banging him against the castle’s solid rock walls.|alliances1][$attitude += 2]]\n[[Dutifully. Close your eyes, grit your teeth and open your legs - all for the Empire!|alliances1][$attitude += 1]]\n[[Quickly. After you’re done, you sneak out to the quarters of your Lady in Waiting for some real lovin’. |alliances1][$attitude += 1]]

Epic Princess Game!

Barbara Kerr\n

The funerals have been held and you are now Queen. How do you respond to the assassins? \n\n[[A careful investigation with the utmost probity. International observers are sought to keep the process objective.|debut][$attitude += 2]]\n[[A local investigation conducted loudly and publicly. Anyone found guilty will be hanged in the city square.|debut][$attitude -= 1]]\n[[Collective punishment. Everyone who even knew these turds are getting their heads put on pikes. |debut][$attitude -= 2]]

You are a minor noble of no great fame, promised to a prince of the Empire at the age of merely three. Now, it is time for you to fulfil your destiny by marrying and becoming Princess of Alvitagn. How do you feel? \n\n\n[[Romantic!|interests][$attitude += 1]]\n[[Accepting|interests][$attitude += 0]]\n[[Resistant|interests][$attitude -= 1]]