(set: $followers to 1000) (set: $following to 800) (set: $stamina to 10)
Hi! Welcome to Twitter.
You have $followers followers. You're following $following users.
What's [[going on->check twitter]] on Twitter today?(if: $stamina > 0)[
(display: "read twitter")
](else:)[
(display: "pass out")]You don't know the history of this beef at all, you just see a lot of people you kind of know yelling at each other. You're not sure where to start.
* [[skim your timeline]]
* [[read a storify by your friends->storify]]
* [[read a storify by people you don't like->storify]](set: $responses to (array: "Ugh, who cares.",
"You try not to think about it.",
"You ignore it and look at your cute animal bot list instead.",
"You check @dril's feed instead.",
"You are so tired and aren't even capable of thinking about this anymore.",
"You spend an hour talking to twitterbots. They holda pretty good conversation."))
(print: $responses's (random: 0, $responses's length - 1)) (set: $stamina to $stamina + (random: -2, +2))
You [[look back at your main timeline again->check twitter]].You see a lot of people shouting at each other. It seems like half the people you follow are at war with the other half of the people you follow. You have no idea who's right or not so you just close Tweetdeck for half an hour. (set: $stamina to $stamina - 1)
You figure it might be safe to try [[checking twitter->check twitter]] again.You read through a really long storify. It looks like a lot of people are mad at someone and spent dozens of tweets outlining why. It seems very convincing.
* [[tweet something mad]]
* [[subtweet]]
* [[tweet about how much you don't care]]You send a whole series of all-caps tweets at one of the ringleaders. Probably they did something pretty bad and they ought to know it. You type until your keyboard runs out of flames. (set: $stamina to $stamina - (random: 1, 4))
OK, time to [[check twitter]] again.You subtweet the hell out of the bad guys. You figure anyone who knows what's going on will get it. (set: $stamina to $stamina - 1)
OK, time to [[check twitter]] again.You don't even care. You tell twitter all about how much you don't care so no one gets the wrong idea. You're not even mad. (set: $stamina to $stamina - 1)
OK, time to [[check twitter]] again.(display: "stamina")
(display: "event" + (text: (random: 0, 3)))
It looks like some people are fighting.
* [[Read up on it->research]]
* [[Ignore it->ignore]]
(if: $stamina > 10)[
You feel great.
](elseif: $stamina > 8)[
You feel pretty good.
](elseif: $stamina > 6)[
You feel nervous.
](elseif: $stamina > 3)[
You feel rotten.
](else:)[
You feel bad about the internet these days, no joke.](live: 5s)[You get so stressed you pass out on top of your keyboard for about thirty seconds.]
(live:10s)[You figure it's time to stop tweeting for awhile.]
(live:15s)[(display: "twitter offline")]<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" lang="en"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">Twitter is about to go offline. See you soon!</p>— Twitter (@twitter) <a href="https://twitter.com/twitter/status/507816092">December 17, 2007</a></blockquote>
<script async src="//platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script>Someone compliments one of your selfies. (set: $stamina to $stamina + 1)An egg shouts mean things at you. (set: $stamina to $stamina - 2)A tweet about your breakfast goes viral. (set: $stamina to $stamina + (random: -1, 1))A swarm of people shout at you for something you don't really understand. (set: $stamina to $stamina - 2)