But suddenly, it is not!\n\nYou are overcome by a terrible nausea. Outside your cockpit, lurid neon fogs pulse and swirl. You are passing through a space anomaly!\n\n[[I try to turn the ship around.|transformation 1]]\n[[I try to accelerate through the anomaly.|transformation 1]]

You are building momentum!\n\n[[THRASH|thrashfloor]]\n[[FLOP|flopfloor]]\n[[FLAP|flapfloor]]<<endif>>

Smoke begins to fill the air. You don't have much time!\n\n[[I run for the fire extinguisher.|extinguisher]]\n[[I call for assistance.|call]]

Smoke begins to rise from the various dials and switches on the walls around you. Sparks spray from the power outlets.\n\n[[I smother the fires with my body.|smother]]\n[[I slap at the fires with my bare hands.|slapfires]]

You're not a captain anymore. You've been transformed into a giant carp! \n\nYour shirt's split in two, exposing your silvery fish belly. Your pants burst open as your legs swelled and fused together into a sleek fish-tail. Your arms have atrophied into pathetic little fins, almost lost inside the tatters of your spacejacket. The reason you can't breathe? Your lungs have been replaced by gills! And your eyes? They've clearly migrated to the sides of your head. Like fish eyes.\n\nBecause you're a fish.\n\n[[I stay calm, and inspect the damage to the cockpit.|inspect]]\n[[I allow myself the sweet release of blind panic.|panic]]

<<if $thrash gte 5>><<if $coffee1 eq false>><<set $coffee1 = true>><<set $coffeechange = true>>Your repeated battering of the coffee machine has knocked something loose. Worms begin to dribble out of its spout more quickly, lubricated by thick, strong-smelling worm-juice.<<endif>><<endif>><<if $thrash gte 7>><<if $coffee2 eq false>><<set $coffee2 = true>><<set $coffeechange = true>>You land a mighty blow on the coffee machine. The torrent of worms is now continuous.<<endif>><<endif>><<if $thrash gte 11>><<if $coffee3 eq false>><<set $coffee3 = true>><<set $coffeechange = true>>You smack the coffee machine again. A loud squelching sound comes from the depths of the machine, followed by a crack. The machine's faceplate falls off. Now worms are pouring straight out of the innards of the machine, as if from a firehose. They spatter against the arm of your chair. Many spill over into your seat, where they stick to you, twitching miserably. The mass of worms in your lap gets heavier and heavier.<<endif>><<endif>><<if $thrash gte 15>><<if $coffee4 eq false>><<set $coffee4 = true>><<set $coffeechange = true>>You slam your side against the coffee machine. Hundreds of worms die in the impact. Worm internal fluids are smeared all over your body. They have sprayed on every surface in the room.\n\nYour entire body is now lubricated with worm juice. Worms are five inches thick on the floor.\n<<endif>><<endif>><<if $coffeechange eq false>><<if $coffee3 eq true>><<if $coffee4 eq true>>//Your entire body is now lubricated with worm juice. Worms are five inches thick on the floor.//<<else>>//Worms continue to spray out of the coffee machine at an accelerated rate.//<<endif>><<endif>><<endif>>\n\n

You flop your entire body forward against one of the walls, trying to smother the fires. You bruise your chest and suffer many small burns!\n\n<<display "transformation 3">>

You try to slap yourself in the face, but your arms flap uselessly, and cannot reach your face. In the strobing disco light of the spatial anomaly, your limbs do indeed look very small and misshapen!\n\n<<display "transformation 2">>

As the room fills with smoke, the bizarre lightshow reaches a crescendo! Your eyes water, shapes and colors run together, and your ship rumbles and shakes!\n\nYou lose consciousness!\n\n[[I dream of seashells and pounding surf.|wake]]

SPACESHIP CARPTAIN\n\nBY LAURA MICHET\n\n[[START|Begin]]

<<if $see eq 4>>With a convulsive effort, your twist yourself over and angle your right eye toward your torso.\n\n[[Holy shit! I'm a fish!|fish]]<<else>><<if $see eq 0>>There is no effect.<<endif>><<if $see eq 1>>You bend over to the side. Your right eye is now angled slightly down, toward your body.<<endif>><<if $see eq 2>>Now your your left eye is pointed down, a little closer to your body.<<endif>><<if $see eq 3>>You twist in your chair, angling your right eye quite far down-- but you still can't see yourself.<<endif>>\n\n[[I thrash from side to side.|thrashsee]]\n[[I flop forward and backward.|flopsee]]\n[[I flap my arms around.|flapsee]]<<endif>>

<<if $floordisaster eq 6>>You fling yourself into the air!\n\n<<display fallingmodule>><<else>><<set $floordisaster = $floordisaster + 1>>YOU THRASH\n\nWORMS EVERYWHERE\n\nTHE AIR IS WORMS\n\n<<display floordisaster>><<endif>>

<<if $coffee3 eq true>><<if $activefire gte 1>><<set $activefire = 0>>The juicy wormfluid spraying everywhere in the cockpit has at least ONE good effect, though-- it puts out the fire! Phew!<<endif>><<else>><<set $activefire = $activefire + 1>>//The navigation console is on fire!//<<endif>>\n\n

<<set $horn1 = false>><<set $horn2 = false>><<set $horn3 = false>><<set $horn4 = false>><<set $horn5 = false>><<set $horn6 = false>><<set $hornchange = false>><<set $floor1 = false>><<set $floor2 = false>><<set $floor3 = false>><<set $floorchange = false>><<set $activefire = 0>><<set $fire1 = false>><<set $fire2 = false>><<set $fire3 = false>><<set $fire4 = false>><<set $firechange = false>><<set $heat1 = false>><<set $heat2 = false>><<set $heat3 = false>><<set $heat4 = false>><<set $heat5 = false>><<set $heat6 = false>><<set $heatchange = false>><<set $buttons1 = false>><<set $buttons2 = false>><<set $buttons3 = false>><<set $buttonschange = false>><<set $coffee1 = false>><<set $coffee2 = false>><<set $coffee3 = false>><<set $coffee4 = false>><<set $coffeechange = false>><<set $food = 0>><<set $hold = 0>><<set $mayday = 0>>You figure that if you thrash, flop, and flap your fins as hard as you can, you might be able to activate the emergency mayday system before you suffocate.\n\nThe button for the mayday system still glows red, high up on the navigation console in front of you.\n\n[[I thrash from side to side|thrashaction]]\n[[I flop forward and backward|flopaction]]\n[[I flap my fins|flapaction]]

Your ship begins broadcasting the mayday message!\n\nAlmost immediately, you are contacted by a Space Patrol officer.\n\n"My scans of your ship indicate 3 billion, eight hundred and seventy-two million, three hundred and ninety-nine thousand life-forms aboard your craft," the officer says. "It appears that your cargo hold contains eigty-eight percent biomass and twelve percent oxygen. Can you describe the exact nature of this emergency?"\n\nOf course. The space anomaly must have turned all the wigs into worms when it turned you into a fish!\n\nYou cannot answer the space patrolman, because fish cannot talk and have no lungs or speech organs (such as the hard palate, uvula, or glottis). However, when you fail to provide the routine code responses, he will doubtless enter your spaceship and find you lying here on the ground among all these smashed and leaking worms. He will be able to help you before you suffocate completely.\n\n[[Will he be able to turn me back into a person?|nope]]

You try to get out of your seat, but only succeed in rolling onto your side. Your legs don't seem to be working very well! You thrash about as much as you can, but it doesn't help!\n\n<<display "transformation 4">>

<<set $thrash = 0>><<set $flap = 0>><<set $flop = 0>>You are a spaceship captain. Your ship is trim and tidy.\n\nYou skim between the stars on a mission of great importance: delivering wigs to the robot factories on Phaedor V. Your ship's vast cargo-hold is filled with authentic horsehair wigs in every style and color.\n\nYou have embarked on this crucial mission all alone, in a cargo vessel that seats only one. The autopilot is turned on. You will reach your destination in 6.5 hours.\n\n[[All is well.|disaster]]

Worms suffocate you and also eat all your organs and bones!\n\nYou have died! Several days later, the worms use up all the oxygen and die too!\n\nDon't you wish you knew what all those worms were about!\n\n[[RESTART?|Begin]]\n[[RESTART FROM BUTTON-PRESSING SECTION?|fallingmodule]]\n[[END THIS NONSENSE, I GIVE UP|theend]]

You open your fish-mouth to grab the mayday button...\n\nAND HUNDREDS OF WORMS SQUIRM INSIDE\n\nJESUS CHRIST THEY ARE WRITHING IN AND AMONG ALL YOUR INTERNAL ORGANS\n\n[[OH MY GOD|wormsdeath]]

<<if $thrash gte 3>><<if $buttons1 eq false>><<set $buttons1 = true>><<set $buttonschange = true>>With all this thrashing, you've smacked yourself against the left-hand wall hard enough to activate some of the melted buttons there. They glow fitfully, then flicker out. Some more battering might bring all those systems back online.<<endif>><<endif>><<if $thrash gte 9>><<if $buttons2 eq false>><<set $buttons2 = true>><<set $buttonschange = true>>You crash against the melted buttons above the coffee machine. A whole row of them flash on, spitting sparks, and a metal panel pops open. Behind it is a new row of unmelted buttons!<<endif>><<endif>><<if $thrash gte 13>><<if $buttons3 eq false>><<set $buttons3 = true>><<set $buttonschange = true>>You finally manage to smack yourself against the row of exposed buttons over the coffee machine, and... the door to the food dispenser on the right-hand wall pops open. You may be able to reach it with your fin now.<<endif>><<endif>><<if $buttonschange eq false>><<if $buttons2 eq true>><<if $buttons3 eq true>>//The door to the food dispenser on the right-hand wall is open.//<<else>>//Sparks are streaming from the activated buttons above the coffee machine.//<<endif>><<endif>><<endif>>\n\n

You lean forward to turn on the emergency transmitter, but you overbalance and slap your face against the navigation console. When you sit up, you only flop backwards into your seat again.\n\n<<display "transformation 4">>

<<if $thrash gte 3>><<if $buttons1 eq false>><<set $buttons = true>><<set $buttonschange = true>>THE FIRST BUTTON EVENT<<endif>><<endif>><<if $thrash gte 9>><<if $buttons2 eq false>><<set $buttons2 = true>><<set $buttonschange = true>>THE SECOND BUTTON EVENT<<endif>><<endif>><<if $thrash gte 13>><<if $buttons3 eq false>><<set $buttons3 = true>><<set $buttonschange = true>>THE THIRD BUTTON EVENT<<endif>><<endif>><<if $buttonschange eq false>><<if $buttons2 eq true>><<if $buttons3 eq true>>WHAT HAPPENS CONTINUALLY WHEN THE SECOND BUTTON IS ACTIVATED BUT NO BUTTON EVENT IS ACTIVE<<else>>WHAT HAPPENS CONTINUALLY WHEN THE THIRD BUTTON IS ACTIVATED BUT NO BUTTON EVENT IS ACTIVATED<<endif>><<endif>><<endif>>

<<set $floordisaster = 0>>You flop one, last, mighty time!\n\nFinally, with the worms agitated by gas and noise, with your entire body covered in worm-juice, you are slithery enough to wriggle down onto the floor. You land among the worms with a bump.\n\nYou are now lying under the navigation console. One of your great limpid fish-eyes is looking up into the depths of its electronic computer banks.\n\nAnd yes, high above you, the wires for the mayday system are hanging in a neat little bundle. If you were able to fling yourself in the air and jostle them just right, you could activate the mayday system and call for help!\n\n[[THRASH|thrashfloor]]\n[[FLOP|flopfloor]]\n[[FLAP|flapfloor]]

SPACESHIP CARPTAIN

<<set $thrash = $thrash + 1>>For a good minute, all you do is thrash around. You batter your big fish face and eyes against the walls until you are abslutely exhausted.\n\nWhen you can't take it anymore, you stop, fish-heart hammering inside your narrow fish-ribcage, and take a moment to carefully examine the walls of your cockpit.\n\nThe few readouts that are still active show your ship sitting dead in space. The anomaly has moved on. All is dark. Most of the electronic interfaces have burned and melted. Many of the buttons have melted together into unpressable masses. All of the exposed metal is still hot to the touch.\n\nWorms are dripping out of the coffee-machine in the left wall. There is also a clump of them in the food-dispenser on the right wall.\n\n[[This is clearly a disaster.|beginprogress]]

You stretch your hand out toward the navigation console, but you find you cannot reach it! Your arm flaps helplessly. It feels stubby and weak.\n\nThis is extremely unsettling and disorienting!\n\n[[I thrash about.|thrash]]\n[[I slap myself.|slap]]

<<if $floordisaster eq 6>>You fling yourself into the air!\n\n<<display fallingmodule>><<else>><<set $floordisaster = $floordisaster + 1>>YOU FLOP\n\nWORMS ALL AROUND YOU\n\nWORMS ARE LOVE, WORMS ARE LIFE\n\n<<display floordisaster>><<endif>>

<<if $flop gte 3>><<if $floor1 eq false>><<set $floor1 = true>><<set $floorchange = true>>You flop forward onto the navigation console. As you smack it with your face, the underside panel of the console pops loose. Worms begin to dribble out of it. If you could open it further, you might be able to see inside.<<endif>><<endif>><<if $flop gte 8>><<if $floor2 eq false>><<set $floor2 = true>><<set $floorchange = true>>You smack the nav console with your face again. The underside panel pops completely off. <<if $coffee4 = true>>It lands with a smack on all those worms. <<endif>>Wires are now hanging from the underside of the console. If you could get down there, you might be able to manipulate them in some way.<<endif>><<endif>><<if $flop gte 9>><<if $floor3 eq false>><<set $floor3 = true>><<set $floorchange = true>>You try flopping forward again, but you're not slippery enough to slide all the way down to the floor. <<if $coffee4 = true>>The worms are getting you close, though.<<endif>><<endif>><<endif>><<if $floorchange eq false>><<if $floor2 eq true>><<if $floor3 eq true>>//Wires you can't reach are still hanging from the underside of the nav console.//<<else>>//Wires are hanging from the underside of the nav console.//<<endif>><<endif>><<endif>>\n\n

<<if $flop gte 1>><<if $fire1 eq false>><<set $fire1 = true>><<set $firechange = true>>You aim high at the mayday button and flop forward, smacking your fish-chin against the navigation console. Unfortunately, you are unable to get enough grip, and you slide backward into your seat. In the process, you chin catches on a few wires and drags them downward. That looks dangerous!<<endif>><<endif>><<if $flop gte 5>><<if $fire2 eq false>><<set $fire2 = true>><<set $firechange = true>><<set $activefire = 1>>You flop up toward the mayday button again, and once again drag wires out of the navigation console. Sections of exposed metal touch, and sparks leap through the air. Oh no! Another fire has started on the navigation console!<<endif>><<endif>><<if $flop gte 6>><<if $fire3 eq false>><<set $fire3 = true>><<set $firechange = true>><<if $activefire gte 1>>You flop forward, attempting to smother the fire with your body. You only manage to burn your face!<<else>>//The navigation console is charred from the small fire.//<<endif>><<endif>><<endif>><<if $flop gte 7>><<if $fire4 eq false>><<set $fire4 = true>><<set $firechange = true>><<if $activefire gte 1>>You flop forward again. You put part of the fire out, but the flames have creeped up the navigation console. They're out of your reach now!<<else>>//The navigation console is charred from the small fire.//<<endif>><<endif>><<endif>><<if $firechange eq false>><<if $fire2 eq true>><<if $fire3 eq true>><<if $fire4 eq true>><<if $activefire eq 0>>//The fire is out, but the cockpit is filled with smoke.//<<endif>><<else>><<if $activefire eq 0>>//The navigation console is charred from the small fire.//<<endif>><<endif>><<else>><<if $activefire eq 0>>//The navigation console is charred from the small fire.//<<endif>><<endif>><<endif>><<endif>><<endif>>\n\n

With a flick of your fin, you smack the bundle of wires in just the right place!\n\nThe mayday button detaches from the underside of the nav console and falls to the floor. It lands on the heap of worms... //just next to your giant fish-mouth.//\n\nIt is now time to make the most important decision of the fish part of your life.\n\n[[Thrash a little bit and try to tap the button with the side of my head|finalthrash]]\n[[Flop a little bit and try to tap the button with my fish chin|finalflop]]\n[[Flap a little bit, hoping to lever myself up and tap the button with the side of my fish-mouth|finalflap]]\n[[Open my fish-mouth and press the button with my fish-lips|finallips]]

With your fish-heart hammering inside your narrow fish-ribcage, you carefully examine the walls of your cockpit.\n\nThe few readouts that are still active show your ship sitting dead in space. The anomaly has moved on. All is dark. Most of the electronic interfaces have burned and melted. Many of the buttons have melted together into unpressable masses. All of the exposed metal is still hot to the touch.\n\nWorms are dripping out of the coffee-machine in the left wall. There is also a clump of them in the food-dispenser on the right wall.\n\n[[This is clearly a disaster.|beginprogress]]

WHAT A MAGNIFICENT FLOP! You tap that button perfectly!\n\n<<display wincondition>>

<<display worms>><<display microwave>><<display dispenser>><<display fire>><<display floorpanel>><<display airhorn>><<if $activefire gte 1>><<display onfire>><<endif>>\n\nSo far:\n<<display counter>>\n\n[[I thrash from side to side.|thrashaction]]\n[[I flop forward and backward.|flopaction]]\n[[I flap my fins.|flapaction]]

<<if $subflap gte 1>><<if $heat1 eq false>><<set $heat1 = true>><<set $heatchange = true>>You are able to clip the ball of worms in the food dispenser with the tip of your fin. It rolls, slowly and stickily, onto the heating tray.<<endif>><<endif>><<if $subflap gte 3>><<if $heat2 eq false>><<set $heat2 = true>><<set $heatchange = true>>You are able to press the HEAT INCREASE button on the food dispenser with the tip of your fin. The heating tray begins to glow.<<endif>><<endif>><<if $subflap gte 4>><<if $heat3 eq false>><<set $heat3 = true>><<set $heatchange = true>>You press the HEAT INCREASE button on the food dispenser again. The ball of worms begins to warm up.<<endif>><<endif>><<if $subflap gte 5>><<if $heat4 eq false>><<set $heat4 = true>><<set $heatchange = true>>The tip of your fin scrapes the dispenser button once more. The worms are writhing in agony.<<endif>><<endif>><<if $subflap gte 6>><<if $heat5 eq false>><<set $heat5 = true>><<set $heatchange = true>>You increase the temperature inside the food dispenser AGAIN! The ball of worms is sizzling!<<endif>><<endif>><<if $subflap gte 13>><<if $heat6 eq false>><<set $heat6 = true>><<set $heatchange = true>>The ball of worms bursts. Half-roasted rubbery worms fly everywhere, including onto you.\n\nThe worm-ball-detonation releases a steamy gas. This gas seems to irritate the living worms. Drowning in the scent of their brothers' deaths, they squirm frantically all over <<if $coffee3 eq true>>your lap<<if $coffee4 eq true>> and the floor<<endif>>. There is now a great motion in the ocean of worms.<<endif>><<endif>><<endif>><<if $heatchange eq false>><<if $heat5 eq true>><<if $heat6 eq true>>//Worm-gas is agitating the worms on the floor.//<<else>>//The ball of worms in the food dispenser is getting pretty hot.//<<endif>><<endif>><<endif>>\n\n

<<set $checkeyes = false>><<set $checkarms = false>><<set $checkposture = false>><<set $see = 0>>When you wake, you are sore all over, and very stiff. Your vision also seems very strange-- although you can see the walls very wellthe navigation console in front of you is dark and blurry.\n\nYou take deep, gulping breaths to calm yourself-- but the breaths catch in your throat! What's going on? Are you suffocating?\n\nYou must look down and see what's happened-- but you're not sure you have a neck anymore. So far, you've only been capable of large, uncoordinated body movements!\n\n[[I thrash from side to side.|thrashsee]]\n[[I flop forward and backward.|flopsee]]\n[[I flap my arms around.|flapsee]]

<<set $see = $see + 1>>You thrash furiously from side to side, smacking the sides of your head against the narrow walls of the cockpit.\n\n<<display see>>

<<if $coffee4 eq true>><<if $horn6 eq true>><<if $floor3 eq true>><<if $activefire eq 0>><<if $buttons3 eq true>><<if $heat6 eq true>><<display fallonfloor>><<else>>\n\n<<if $activefire gte 10>><<display firedeath>><<else>><<set $hornchange = false>><<set $floorchange = false>><<set $firechange = false>><<set $heatchange = false>><<set $buttonschange = false>><<set $coffeechange = false>><<set $flop = $flop + 1>>You flop forward and backward with all your might.\n\n<<display storyprogress>><<endif>><<endif>><<else>><<if $activefire gte 10>><<display firedeath>><<else>><<set $hornchange = false>><<set $floorchange = false>><<set $firechange = false>><<set $heatchange = false>><<set $buttonschange = false>><<set $coffeechange = false>><<set $flop = $flop + 1>>You flop forward and backward with all your might.\n\n<<display storyprogress>><<endif>><<endif>><<else>><<if $activefire gte 10>><<display firedeath>><<else>><<set $hornchange = false>><<set $floorchange = false>><<set $firechange = false>><<set $heatchange = false>><<set $buttonschange = false>><<set $coffeechange = false>><<set $flop = $flop + 1>>You flop forward and backward with all your might.\n\n<<display storyprogress>><<endif>><<endif>><<else>><<if $activefire gte 10>><<display firedeath>><<else>><<set $hornchange = false>><<set $floorchange = false>><<set $firechange = false>><<set $heatchange = false>><<set $buttonschange = false>><<set $coffeechange = false>><<set $flop = $flop + 1>>You flop forward and backward with all your might.\n\n<<display storyprogress>><<endif>><<endif>><<else>><<if $activefire gte 10>><<display firedeath>><<else>><<set $hornchange = false>><<set $floorchange = false>><<set $firechange = false>><<set $heatchange = false>><<set $buttonschange = false>><<set $coffeechange = false>><<set $flop = $flop + 1>>You flop forward and backward with all your might.\n\n<<display storyprogress>><<endif>><<endif>><<else>>\n\n<<if $activefire gte 10>><<display firedeath>><<else>><<set $hornchange = false>><<set $floorchange = false>><<set $firechange = false>><<set $heatchange = false>><<set $buttonschange = false>><<set $coffeechange = false>><<set $flop = $flop + 1>>You flop forward and backward with all your might.\n\n<<display storyprogress>><<endif>><<endif>>

You flap your arms uselessly at the small fires. For some reason, you feel like you can barely reach the walls! Your fingers are now covered in small burns.\n\n<<display "transformation 3">>

WHAT A GLORIOUS THRASH! You tap that button perfectly!\n\n<<display wincondition>>

WHAT A LOVELY FLAP! You tap that button perfectly!\n\n<<display wincondition>>

<<if $activefire gte 10>><<display firedeath>><<else>><<set $hornchange = false>><<set $floorchange = false>><<set $firechange = false>><<set $heatchange = false>><<set $buttonschange = false>><<set $coffeechange = false>><<set $thrash = $thrash + 1>>You thrash wildly from side to side.\n\n<<display storyprogress>><<endif>>

<<if $activefire gte 10>><<display firedeath>><<else>><<set $hornchange = false>><<set $floorchange = false>><<set $firechange = false>><<set $heatchange = false>><<set $buttonschange = false>><<set $coffeechange = false>><<set $flap = $flap + 1>>You flap your fins like a maniac.<<if $buttons3 eq false>><<set $subflap = 0>><<else>><<set $subflap = $subflap + 1>><<endif>>\n\n<<display storyprogress>><<endif>>

No. You are going to be a fish forever.\n\nLuckily for you, however, this won't get in the way of your space career. With the biotech they make these days, you'll probably have functioning robolegs and roboarms within a week. Nothing should get in the way of your eventual, triumphant return to a (probably water-filled) cockpit.\n\nIt's time to get used to living as a...\n\n[[SPACESHIP CARPTAIN|theend]]\n

<<if $thrash eq 0>>You haven't done any thrashing.<<else>><<if $thrash lte 3>>You've done a tiny bit of thrashing.<<else>><<if $thrash lte 9>>You've done a fair bit of thrashing.<<else>><<if $thrash lte 15>>you've done a good amount of thrashing.<<else>><<if $thrash gte 16>>You've done a lot of thrashing.<<endif>><<endif>><<endif>><<endif>><<endif>><<endif>>\n<<if $flop eq 0>>You haven't done any flopping.<<else>><<if $flop lte 3>>You've done a tiny bit of flopping.<<else>><<if $flop lte 9>>You've done a fair bit of flopping.<<else>><<if $flop lte 15>>you've done a good amount of flopping.<<else>><<if $flop gte 16>>You've done a lot of flopping.<<endif>><<endif>><<endif>><<endif>><<endif>>\n<<if $flap eq 0>>You haven't done any flapping.<<else>><<if $flap lte 3>>You've done a tiny bit of flapping.<<else>><<if $flap lte 9>>You've done a fair bit of flapping.<<else>><<if $flap lte 15>>you've done a good amount of flapping.<<else>><<if $flap gte 16>>You've done a lot of flapping.<<endif>><<endif>><<endif>><<endif>><<endif>>

<<if $floordisaster eq 6>>You fling yourself into the air!\n\n<<display fallingmodule>><<else>><<set $floordisaster = $floordisaster + 1>>YOU FLAP\n\nWORMS ARE HIGHLY AGITATED\n\nGO WORMS GO\n\n<<display floordisaster>><<endif>>

THE END\n\nSPACESHIP CARPTAIN IS BY [[LAURA MICHET|http://www.lauramichet.com]]\n\nWOULD YOU LIKE TO [[REPLAY?|Begin]]\n\nWOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE [[SOME GIANT FISHES?|http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=monster+fish+natgeowild]]

You flap your arms back and forth, alternately smacking the walls of the cockpit and your belly.\n\n<<display see>>

<<if $flap gte 1>><<if $horn1 eq false>><<set $horn1 = true>><<set $hornchange = true>>You flap your fin against the buttons on the left-hand wall, next to the coffee machine. For a moment you graze the button that controls the code-red air-horn. It is as loud as shitting hell! Your new fish eardrums are not happy.<<endif>><<endif>><<if $flap gte 3>><<if $horn2 eq false>><<set $horn2 = true>><<set $hornchange = true>>Your fin accidentally grazes the air-horn button again. JESUS CHRIST!<<endif>><<endif>><<if $flap gte 5>><<if $horn3 eq false>><<set $horn3 = true>><<set $hornchange = true>>Your fin grazes the air-horn button for a third time. This time, the button sticks. The air-horn begins a rhythmic blaring. Your brain begins a rhythmic rattling.<<endif>><<endif>><<if $flap gte 7>><<if $horn4 eq false>><<set $horn4 = true>><<set $hornchange = true>>You hit the air-horn button again. The pulse of horn-blasts accelerates.<<endif>><<endif>><<if $flap gte 9>><<if $horn5 eq false>><<set $horn5 = true>><<set $hornchange = true>>You press the air-horn button a third time. The pulse quickens and rises in pitch. You wonder if beating out your own eardrums on the walls of the cockpit would offer any relief from this hellnoise.<<endif>><<endif>><<if $flap gte 11>><<if $horn6 eq false>><<set $horn6 = true>><<set $hornchange = true>>The air-horn blasts become so high-pitched and rapid that you cannot hear them-- just feel the buzzing vibration of the entire room. Well. That's better. But a little weird.\n\nEven weirder: it seems that the worms can now hear it. They begin to writhe and squirm even faster.<<endif>><<endif>><<endif>><<if $hornchange eq false>><<if $horn3 eq true>><<if $horn4 eq true>><<if $horn5 eq true>><<if $horn6 eq true>>//You can no longer hear the air-horn-- it is too high-pitched and quick. However it seems to be irritating the worms.//<<else>>//The air-horn is honking quite quickly.//<<endif>><<else>>//The honking of the air-horn has grown faster.//<<endif>><<else>>//The air-horn is honking in a rhythmic pattern. If only you could cover your ears.//<<endif>><<endif>><<endif>><<endif>>\n\n

You thrash from side to side in your pilot's chair. You are very unhappy, but your spine feels very supple and yor side-to-side thrashing muscles feel very powerful.\n\n<<display "transformation 2">>

LAURA MICHET

<<set $thrash = 0>><<set $flop = 0>><<set $flap = 0>><<set $horn1 = false>><<set $horn2 = false>><<set $horn3 = false>><<set $horn4 = false>><<set $horn5 = false>><<set $horn6 = false>><<set $hornchange = false>><<set $floor1 = false>><<set $floor2 = false>><<set $floor3 = false>><<set $floorchange = false>><<set $activefire = 0>><<set $fire1 = false>><<set $fire2 = false>><<set $fire3 = false>><<set $fire4 = false>><<set $firechange = false>><<set $heat1 = false>><<set $heat2 = false>><<set $heat3 = false>><<set $heat4 = false>><<set $heat5 = false>><<set $heat6 = false>><<set $heatchange = false>><<set $buttons1 = false>><<set $buttons2 = false>><<set $buttons3 = false>><<set $buttonschange = false>><<set $coffee1 = false>><<set $coffee2 = false>><<set $coffee3 = false>><<set $coffee4 = false>><<set $coffeechange = false>><<set $food = 0>><<set $hold = 0>><<set $mayday = 0>>Flames engulf the cockpit! You roast with a pleasant smell!\n\nYou have died! The worms die with you!\n\n[[RESTART?|Begin]]\n[[RESTART FROM PUZZLE SECTION?|fish]]\n[[END THIS NONSENSE, I GIVE UP|theend]]

You flop energetically forward and backward, smashing your face against the navigation console.\n\n<<display see>>