Sugarcane

[[Do you always have to pretend I mean nothing to you? |End]]

We spoke just two days ago and we were so close we could have [[kissed|Kiss]] if you weren’t so self-conscious.

You grab for the falling prism but you grab too hard. \n\nYou crush it into your palm and a million red dots are birthed on your hand like salmon roe. \n\nThat was my only cube and you broke it. \n\n[[please leave|keep walking]]

<<display 'You Turn Display'>> \n\nand a new one comes to greet me

But you do not see the nothingness that I always feel when you turn away from me and I find love in a dark cavern that hates me and has no regard for my [[body.|Body]] \n

You can't look at me or my dark matter body. You reach into my guts where you think the light is. You hand grabs something hard, and you pull, but it's stuck. \n\n[[PULL|pull]]\n\n\n

You look deep into my entire body and I can feel you hold me even though <<replace "you are thousands of miles away.">><<replace "you live in another neighborhood.">><<replace "I have no idea where you are now and we haven’t spoken in 6 months.">>[[we haven’t spoken in 3 years.|Spoke]] <<endreplace>><<endreplace>><<endreplace>>

You reach underneath the black cloth and grasp at the faint light. You have to stoop down to reach it, and our faces are very close. I am looking at your eyes.\n\n[[look at me|look me]]\n[[look at the light|look light]]\n[[look at the ground|look ground]]

<<display 'You Turn Display'>> \n\nand you are the same person each time

They'd taste like honey. It would be lovely. \n\n<<back>>

<<display 'CubeDisplay'>> \nyou never see it \n\n[[still you return|New Face Never]]\n[[and you are the same|Same Person Never]]\n

<<display 'New Face Never Display'>> \n\nbut you never come close enough and our fingers never touch <<display 'Grasping'>>

Show Me Your Back

Triangles and polygons stick into your back and rip your clothing. You look like a stegosaurus with a spine made of glass. \n\nI love you so much. Don't leave me here.\n\n[[turn away]]\n[[as you wish]]\n

<<display 'You Turn Display'>> \n\nand you are the same person each time\n\n[[always reaching|Always Reaching Turn Person]]\n[[never touching|Never Touching Turn Person]]

But you say that you can't. It's not the right time.\n\nI'm inconvenient. \n\n[[walk away|keep walking]]

<<display 'You Never Display'>> \n\nand your new face comes to greet me\n\n[[always reaching|Always Reaching Never Face]]\n[[never touching|Never Touching Never Face]]

Now?\n\n[[yes|liar]]\n[[no|you never did]]\n[[a little]]

You place the thing that is not the light back in my belly but I cannot take it back. I disintegrate. The not-light remains.\n\nYou didn't know that would happen. \n\nHow could you? \n\n[[consume the not-light|eat it 2]]\n[[take it|put it away 2]]\n[[leave it|leave behind]]\n

it's not my fault\n\n[[yes|End]]\n[[no]]

<<display 'Same Person Turn Display'>> \n\nalways reaching out to me <<display 'Grasping'>>

A pixelated glitchy rainbow of your disdain for me. The pieces of light fade and I am left broken in rags in the snow splayed out for all to see. \n\nHere lies someone who loved someone else a thousand times in a hundred lifetimes and was loved back only once. \n\n[[please stop hurting me|Hurt]]\n[[I won't apologize for things not working out|Anger]]\n

[[end.|Credits]]

You return to me.\n\nYou look into my eyes. \n\nYou lift up my cloak. \n\nYou reach for your sheath and pull out a great horn. \n\n[[give me the best kind of pain|best pain]]\n\n\n

There's no point in staring. \n\nYou know I'll be fine. \n\n[[walk away|keep walking]]\n

<<display 'New Face Turn Display'>> \n\nalways reaching out to me <<display 'Grasping'>>

Coward. But what did I expect? \n\n[[it's not like you were going to drop everything and ruin your life for me |keep walking]]

<<display 'CubeDisplay'>> \nyour old face turns away \n\n[[and you return|New Face Turn]]\n[[though you are the same|Same Person Turn]]\n

There is something glowing in the pit of my stomach. I have tried so many times to give you my light, but...\n\n[[you are distracted|You Never]]\n[[you turn away|You Turn]]

Rivulets of blood trickle down your spine. \n\nGosh it's so pretty.\n\nHow can you be mad at me?\n\n[[keep walking]]

Now you have found me again and you will turn away to [[punish|Horn]] me for not believing in us. For not believing we could make it, for being practical when you were so romantic.

I'd rather never love again than feel this way\n\n[[yes|End]]\n[[no]]

<<display 'You Never Display'>> \n\nand you are the same person each time\n\n[[always reaching|Always Reaching Never Person]]\n[[never touching|Never Touching Never Person]]

Stop finding me! It hurts too much to have you around. I don’t want my throat to clench up any more. I don’t want to have to hug you for a moment so brief that it feels like I dreamed we hugged.\n\n[[a light|Cube2]]

Our eyes lock. Avada kedavra, expelliarmus and all that bullshit. We have the same core, you and I. Our looks are lasers and I am trying to kill you while you are trying to disarm me. \n\nYour fingers fumble the cube of light. It falls. \n\n[[GRAB IT]]\n[[save me]]

We'd look into each other's eyes and get eaten by each other's pupils and fall into our soul dungeons. \n\n<<back>>

<<display 'Same Person Turn Display'>> \n\nbut you never come close enough and our fingers never touch <<display 'Grasping'>>

I will never say anything to you if you ask me if you can walk away. I will hug you and my eyes will go dead from pain and I will say nothing but I will feel the tears throbbing in my throat just waiting for you to leave.\n\nYou drive off and I walk home in the rain and no one will notice that the tears on my face look exactly like [[raindrops. |Coward]]

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I want our fingers to slide together and we enter each other like ghosts fused together never ending and infinite and we march like a passage of souls never stopping always parading down the street hand in hand but not in a gross PDA way in an adorable ghostlike everyone thinks we're so cute way. \n\n<<back>>

I cannot make you stay. You want me to make you but that is not the person I am. I will watch you leave every time. \nI will watch you leave until you stay. \n\nI try so hard not to love you but you are always so familiar, like someone I have grown up with, someone I have already spent my entire life with and there is no reason for me to feel this way because I have just met you today. We have known each other for four months. We met a few weeks ago. \n\nYou can’t see the horn you’ve shoved deep into my chest that I can only extract by crying and screaming so quietly that my roommate can’t hear me at night. \nYou won’t see how much I need you and how much I will never say anything to you if you ask me if you can walk away. I will hug you and my eyes will go dead and I will say nothing but I can feel the tears throbbing in my throat just waiting for you to leave. You drive off and I walk home in the rain and no one notices that I am crying. \n\nYou are being a coward now like I was being a coward back then. If we’re not meant to be together then just stop coming around. I don’t want my throat to clench up any more. I don’t want to have to hug you for a moment so brief that it feels like I dreamed we hugged.\n\nI just grow more attached to you with each passing week and I want to hold you more and more and I want to look into your eyes deeper than they’ve ever been looked into and I want to reach in and taste your guts honey lovely. I want to feel a million tiny pinpricks when our middle fingers touch for the first time. I want to be the person inside your clothing. I want time to stop when we are alone together. I want to be frozen in a vortex with you. I want to die at the hands of your brutal alien lover. I want to kiss your heels. I want to see the little bits of skin that poke over your jeans. I want to see the freckles you are ashamed of. I want to be totally bored with you. I want to stay up all night and the next day with you. I want you to know that no matter how many times you turn away I will always want to be with you. \n\nCan you see the light of my luminescent cube? I am giving it to you even though I am sick and I need it. I’ll give it to you even though you’ll throw it at the ground and it will shatter and the white light will separate into all the hexidecimal values. CMYK. RGB. A pixellated glitchy rainbow of your disdain for me. The pieces of light fade and I am left broken in rags in the snow splayed out for all to see. Here lies someone who loved someone else a thousand times in a hundred lifetimes and was loved back only once. \n\nplease stop hurting me\n(without love I waste away)\nI won't apologize for things not working out\n(my anger sustains me)\n\n\n/*I am giving it to you even though I am sick and I need it. I’ll give it to you even though you’ll throw it at the ground and it will shatter and the white light will separate into all the hexidecimal values.\n\n[[CMYK|Rainbow]]\n[[RGB|Rainbow]]\n*/\n\n<<silently>>It is stunning. The white glowing cube of transluminescence I have hidden beneath my cloak. I have tried to give it to you so many times but...<<endsilently>>

You've shoved a curved horn so deep into my chest that I can only extract it by waiting until the witching hour at full moonlight, shining blue on my naked skin, and [[screaming|Goodbye]] so softly that my roommate can't hear me.

I want to be a sweater monster with you. \n\n<<back>>

by keres

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<<display 'New Face Turn Display'>> \n\nbut you never come close enough and our fingers never touch <<display 'Grasping'>>

We'd play games and do stuff. Maybe both at the same time ;)\n\n<<back>>

This is a story about déjà vu and bad timing. \n\n[[begin]]

You stoop down and get the not-light. You clench your fist around it. It smells like heartburn. You'll lose it the first chance you get. \n\n[[walk away|keep walking]]\n

She'd eviscerate me and you'd love it. \n\n<<back>>\n

<<display 'You Turn Display'>> \n\nand a new one comes to greet me\n\n[[always reaching|Always Reaching Turn Face]]\n[[never touching|Never Touching Turn Face]]

Do I really love you or do I just like the shape of your butt?\n\n<<back>>

<<display 'You Never Display'>> \n\nand you are the same person each time

<<display 'CubeDisplay'>> \nyou never see it

I already had a plan for my life and it was not [[you.|Love]] I was afraid.

I guess you never did \n\n[[fade|End]]\n

<<display 'You Never Display'>> \n\nand your new face comes to greet me

You cover me with your body and protect me from the breaking cube. \n\nTriangles and polygons stick into your back and rip your clothing. You look like a stegosaurus with a spine made of glass. \n\nI hold you close and the shards cut my hands. \n\nOur blood mingles. \n\n[[please stay]]\n

Why is your body so familiar to me? We fit together in the perfect shape and you are so close to me I can feel your breath on my eyelashes.\n\n[[a light |Cube2]]

please... \n\n[[take the light|take it]]\n[[leave it]]

You pull swiftly this time and it comes undone. \n\nBut what you have in your hand is not the light. \n\nI am unplugged. All my gold comes spilling out of my stomach and little fiends come and grab at it. \n\nI reach my palms out toward you and I gasp in the void. I step toward you. It's the beginning of the dance I used to do for you. My feet are light. My body is weightless.\n\nI collapse. \n\n[[look away]]\n[[put it back]]

I try so hard not to love you but you are always so familiar, like someone I had grown up with, someone I have already spent my entire life with and there is no reason for me to feel this way because <<replace "I have just met you today.">><<replace "we have known each other for four months.">> [[we met a couple of weeks ago.|Pieces of You]] <<endreplace>><<endreplace>>

You devour my cube. \n\nIt tastes like honey lovely. \n\nYour belly glows. \n\nMy uterus hurts. \n\nI am so happy. \n\n[[walk away|keep walking]]\n

We just feel everything through a void of colors and sounds that flow through us like a ghost and cuts out our bellies our guts. A thousand sacred colors come and find us and caress us and tell us that it doesn’t matter what our outer forms look like that inside our guts are all the same and we smear our guts on each other’s faces and they taste like honey lovely. \n\n[[a light|Cube]]

<<display 'CubeDisplay'>> \nyour old face turns away

\n\nalways grasping for each other <<replace "in the dark">>[[in the blinding whiteness.|White]]<<endreplace>>\n\n\n

there's something waiting for you at the edge of this endless black\n\n[[walk toward it|edge]]\n

There is a light beneath my cloak.\n\n[[so?|liar]]\n[[okay|a little]]\n\n

<<display 'Same Person Never Display'>> \n\nalways reaching out to me <<display 'Grasping'>>

After all that, you won't even take it? \n\n[[just fucking take it|fucking take it]]\n[[walk away|really]]\n\n

Am I doomed? Who knows. Maybe [[next time|End]] s/he will love me back.

You plunge it into my dark matter body, as deep as it will go. \n\nThe horn freezes my flesh. \n\nI am broken. \n\n[[Shattered.|keep walking]]\n

Show Me Your Back by [[keres|https://twitter.com/keresione]]\n\nMany thanks to [[porpentine|http://www.aliendovecote.com]] and [[Anna Anthropy|http://auntiepixelante.com/]] for their Twine resources. Infinite hugs to [[Mattie Brice|http://www.mattiebrice.com/]] for inspiring me to finally finish a game by myself. \n

You devour my not-light. \n\nIt tastes like heartburn. \n\nYour belly glows warmly. \n\nI am so happy. \n\n[[walk away|keep walking]]\n

You loved me without me needing to ask you. You were just there. But you couldn’t come with me and I couldn’t stay. \n\n[[I turned away|Plan]]\n[[you did not stop me|Punish]]

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You turn and walk away. I reach into my dark matter body and remove the cube of light with a schhhhlorp. It is graced with CMYK artifacts and RGB pixies. The beauty intermingles with the sharp pain in my uterus and the pain makes it holy. \n\nI throw it at your back. \n\n[[CRSHHHHHHHHHH|crash]]\n

<<display 'Same Person Never Display'>> \n\nbut you never come close enough and our fingers never touch <<display 'Grasping'>>

In the darkness, there is just you and me and the [[light.|Cube]]

It is stunning. The white glowing cube of transluminescence I have hidden beneath my cloak. I have tried to give it to you so many times but\n

I just grow more attached to you with each passing week and I want to hold you more and more and I want to [[look into your eyes]] deeper than they’ve ever been looked into and I want to reach in and [[taste your guts.]] I want to feel a million tiny pinpricks when our middle [[fingers touch]] for the first time. I want to be the person [[inside your clothing.]] I want time to stop when we are alone together. I want to be frozen in a vortex with you. I want to die at the hands of your [[brutal alien lover.]] I want to kiss your heels. I want to see the [[little bits of skin]] that poke over your jeans. I want to see the freckles you are ashamed of. I want to be totally bored with you. I want to [[stay up all night]] and the next day with you. I want you to know that no matter how many times you turn away I will always want to be with you.\n\n[[mmm|Your Body]]

<<display 'New Face Never Display'>> \n\nalways reaching out to me <<display 'Grasping'>>

You lift up my cloak to locate the source of the light. I have a body made of dark matter, but this does not surprise you. You plunge your hand into my tailbone chakra and extract the light. It comes out with a popping noise. \n\nYou turn the cube of light over in your fingers. It is still covered in dark matter slime. \n\n[[eat it]]\n[[put it away]]\n\n

In my dream world no one wonders what I am feeling because they can feel it too and we are not restricted by words that so few can understand and so many more can misinterpret. \n\n[[a light|Cube]]\n

You put the not-light in a pouch around your neck. \n\nI guess it's good you have something to remember me by, even if it's that.\n\n[[walk away|keep walking]]\n

it's lovely\n\nit's everything you told yourself your life would be\n\n[[don't look back|End]]\n

You put my cube in a pouch around your neck. \n\nIt is good that you want to keep it safe. \n\nI crumple. \n\n[[walk away|keep walking]]\n