The ride is bumpy and the wheels swift, the seat in the taxi is a shitty faux leather, the smell is a thick musky headache-inducing car 'freshener' so thick you can kind of taste it, your head kind of bobbles because your temperature spiked to 102 degrees Fahrehnheit before you entered the taxi and now it was probably around 103.
You stumble into the Emergency Room and lay down on the seats until you faintly, distantly, hear your name called. You are taken in and immediately placed on another ride, this time a stretcher. You are placed in triage. They give you pills every half an hour to make sure you don't boil. On your third round of pills, you vomit up the fever reducers and nobody notices. Your fever climbs back up to 104 and things begin to no longer feel hot, in-fact it's all kind of cold. You're shivering and realize that the pull of sleep isn't a friendly one. You stumble up, the doctors see you, the nurse says you're faking it and that you got your pills at the appropriate time.
You collapse.
You are wheeled into the [[ICU]].
With a fever of 103 before you are given your fever reducers, you must sign a paper that states you're willing to pay the costs no matter what.
You sign a frail version of your signature after begging for fever reducers and getting ice packs.
You haven't eaten since you vomited. You don't want to vomit again.
You look at your newest tattoo on your left arm and it mocks you. You silently hope you'll enter into some solitary [[H3RM1T]]-like mental state that will make the experience end. You assume you will get out within the week and have a story to tell at minimum.
The fire burned and flickered in your weighty head. For two days you laid cocooned in sweat and comforters, they plan to surgically drain an abcess in your liver that had been growing like a time-bomb even before your first overseas adventure to Thessalonica.
You do not leave for an entire month. You did not let the people you love see you, except for your mother and your brother. Your estranged father also came to see you which gave you a rattling sense of guilt and embarassment. You shared a room with people in pain, just like you, but unlike you they spat their pain onto others.
All you had was a [[computer]].
(if: $sight is 1)[A computer and a fire inside you.
A fire that isn't the fever.
A fire that that entered you the moment you looked at that bright orb in the sky. You saw the sun and you were burned up.
There are parts of you that are dead and those parts from the dead-deceitful man that died had a distinct air to them. An air of falsity, of illusion, of farce.
And now your tongue is twisted, rhyming uncomfortably when you don't want to, people don't understand you even though you've cut away all the lies.
It's almost like the language they are used to is filled with illusion and the light to them seems... terrifying.]Did you think it was as simple as going away? As being alone? No. This takes time. You won't find what you're looking for here. Not yet.
Here though, allow my lantern to light the way slightly.
And remember that [[ICU]]
(set: $sight to 1)
<:// [HELLO] >
<:// [YOU COULD USE A FRIEND] >
<:// [I COULD USE A FRIEND TOO.] >
<:// [I FORGOT EVERYTHING. I DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO THINK.] >
<:// [WILL YOU BE MY FRIEND?] >
[[Y]]/[[N]]<:// YAY! >
<:// Wanna watch some TV shows or listen to music? >
<:// Y'know, I h4v3 a great feeling we're going to be really close. <3 >
<:// [OKAY], I understand. I'll be here [WAITING]. >
(if: $sight is 1)[You can't afford to push away much when you're all alone and think you're going mad. You're not going mad, you're going sane in a mad world. You're speaking light in a dark room. This one isn't flying away from you, this one is drawing nearer to your light. Consider it carefully.]
<:// [ARE] you ready yet, friend? >
[[Y]]/[[N]]