Sure Thing

Sure Thing is a play by David Ives that I have [[re-created |1.0]] in Twine.

You are Betty, a woman in her late twenties, reading at a cafe table. An empty chair is opposite you. Bill, same age, enters and asks, "Excuse me, is this seat taken?" [[Yes it is.->1.1]] [[No, but I'm expecting somebody in a minute.->1.2]] [[No, but I'm expecting somebody very shortly.->1.3]] [[No, it's not.->1.4]]

"Oh." Says Bill. [[Ring the bell.->1.4]]

"Oh. Sorry." Bill says. "Sure thing." You say. [[Ring the bell.->1.0]]

"Oh. Thanks anyway." Bill says. "Sure thing." You say. [[Ring the bell.->1.0]]

"Would you mind if I sit here till he or she comes?" Bill asks. "They do seem to be pretty late." You reply "You never know who you might be turning down." Bill says. "Sorry. Nice try, though." You say. [[Ring the bell.->1.0]]

"Would you mind if I sit here?" Bill asks. [[Yes. I would.->2.0]] [[No. Go ahead.->2.1]]

YOU ARE NOW BILL You sit across from Betty who is reading. "Everyplace else seems to be taken." You say. "Mm-hm." She replies. [[Great place.->3.1]] [[Great place for reading.->3.2]]

"Mm-hm." She replies again. "What's the book?" You ask. "I just wanted to read in quiet if you don't mind." "Sure thing." [[Ring the bell.|2.1]]

"Yes, I like it." She says. "What's the book?" You ask. "The Sound and the Fury." She replies. [[Oh. Hemingway.|4.1]] [[Oh. Faulkner.|4.2]] [[Oh! Faulkner!|4.3]]

[[Ring the bell.|3.2]]

"It is great." She insists. [[Ring the bell|4.2]]

[[Ring the bell.|4.2]]

"Do you like Faulkner?" She asks? [[I love Faulkner.|6.1]] [[I spent a whole winter reading him once.|6.2]]

"I just started reading him." She says. You reply, "I was so excited after ten pages that I went out and bought everything else he wrote. One of the greatest reading experiences of my life. I mean, all that incredible psychological understanding. Page after page of gorgeous prose. His profound grasp of the mystery of time and human existence. The smells of the earth... What do you think?" "I think it's pretty boring." [[Ring the bell.|4.3]]

She glows! "I was so excited aften ten pages that I went out and bought everything else he wrote," she says. "All that incredible psychological understanding." You rave. "And the prose is so gorgeous." She agrees. "And the way he's grasped the mystery of time -- " "And human existence." She finishes your thought. "I can't believe I've waited this long to read him." "You never know. You might not have been ready for him. You have to hit these things at the right moment or it's no good." "That's happend to me." She agrees. "It's all in the timing." You say. "My name's Bill, by the way." "I'm Betty." "Hi." "Hi." [[Yes, I thought reading Faulkner was... a great experience.|8.1]] [[Do you come in here a lot?|8.2]]

"Where was college?" She asks. [[Oral Roberts University.|7.1]] [[I was lying. I never really went to college. I just like to party.|7.2]] [[Harvard.|4.3]]

"Have you read it?" She asks. [[Not... actually. I've sure read about it, thought. It's supposed to be great.|5.1]] [[I'm a Mets fan myself.|5.2]] [[Yeah, I read it in college.|5.3]]

[[Ring the bell.|5.3]]

"Yes." She says. "The Sound and the Fury." You say. "Well. Onwards and upwards." She says before she goes back to her book. [[Ring the bell|6.2.1]]

YOU ARE NOW BETTY.You sit across from Bill who has just asked you if you frequent this cafe. How do you respond? [[Actually, I'm just in town for two days from Pakistan.|9.1]] [[Every once in a while. Do you?|9.2]] [[Why are you asking?|9.3]] [[Every other day, I think.|9.4]]

"My name's Bill, by the way." You say. "I'm Betty." "Hi." "Hi." [[I thought reading Faulkner was... a great experience.|8.1]] [[Do you come in here a lot?|8.2]]

Oh. Pakistan. [[Ring the bell.|8.2]]

Not as much as I used to. Before my nervous breakdown. [[Ring the bell.|8.2]]

"Just interested." He replies. "Are you really interested or do you just want to pick me up?" "I'm just... getting acquainted." "Maybe you're only interested for the sake of making small talk long enough to ask me back to your place to listen to some music, or because you've just rented this great tape for your VCR, or because you've got some terrific unknown Django Reinhardt record, only all you reall want to do is fuck -- which you won't do very well -- after which you'll go into the bathroom and pee very loudly, then pad into the kitchen and get yourself a beer from the refridgerator without asking me whether I'd like anything, and then you'll proceed to lie back down beside me and confess that you've got a girlfriend named Stephanie who's away at medical school in Belgium for a year, and that you've been involved with her -- off and on -- in what you'll call a very "intricate" relationship, for the past seven YEARS. No of which interests me, mister!" To which Bill can only reply, "Okay." [[Ring the bell.|8.2]]

"Every other day, I think." You reply. "I come in here quite a lot and I don't remember seeing you." He says. "I guess we must be on different schedules." You muse. "Missed connections." "Yes. Different time zones." "Amazing how you can live right next door to somebody in this town and never even know it." Bill says. "I know." You agree. "City life." He says. "It's crazy." you say, to which he responds: [[We probably pass each other in the street every day. Right in front of this place, probably."|10.1]] [[You weren't waiting for someone when I came in, were you?|10.2]]

"Yep." You say. "Well the waiters here sure seem to be in some different time zone." He says. I can't seem to locate one anywhere... Waiter!" He calls, trying to flag one down unsuccessfully before returning his attention to you. "So what do you do?" But you've already gone back to reading your book. [[He rings the bell.|9.4]]

"Actually, I was." You say. "Boyfriend?" He asks. "Sort of." "What's a sort of boyfriend?" [[My husband.|11.1]] [[We were meeting here to break up.|11.2]] [[My lover. Here he comes right now!|11.3]] [[No, just reading.|11.4]]

"Ah ha," Bill mumbles. [[He rings the bell.|10.2]]

"Mm-hm..." Bill doesn't buy it. [[Ring the bell|10.2]]

[[Ring the bell, fast!|10.2]]

"Sort of a sad occupation for a Friday night, isn't it?" he asks. "Reading here, all by yourself?" [[Do you think so?|12.1]] [[I'm out alone on a Friday night for the first time in a very long time.|12.2]] [[I guess I was trying to think of it as existentially romantic. You know -- cappuccino, great literature, raining night...|12.3]]

"Well sure," he says. He takes a moment before asking, "What's a good-looking woman like you doing out alone on a Friday night?" "Trying to keep away from lines like that." [[Ring the bell.|11.4]]

"Existential romanticism only works in Paris," Bill says. "We could hop the late plane to Paris. Get on a Concorde. Find a cafe..." "I'm a little short on fare tonight," you say. "Darn it, so am I." "To tell you the truth, I was headed to the movies after I finished this section," you say. "Would you like to come along? Since you can't locate a waiter?" [[That's a very nice offer, but...|13.1]] [[That sounds like fun. What's playing?|13.2]] [[So was I.|13.4]]

"Oh," he says. "You see, I just recently ended a relationship," you say. "Oh." "Of rather long standing," you contine. "I'm sorry," he says. "Well listen, since reading by yourself is such a sad occupation for a Friday night, would you like to go elsewhere?" "No," you say. "Do something else?" he insists. "No thanks." "I was headed out to the movies in a while anyway," he says. "I don't think so." He's undettered, "Big change to let Faulkner catch his breath. All those long sentences get him pretty tired." "Thanks anyway," you say. "Okay," he concedes. "I appreciate the invitation," you say. "Sure thing." [[He rings the bell.|11.4]]

"Girlfriend?" you ask, cutting him off. [[Two, actually. One of them's pregnant, and Stephanie --|14.1]] [[No, I don't have a girlfriend. Not if you mean the castrating bitch I dumped last night.|14.2]] [[Sort of. Sort of.|14.4]]

A couple of really early Woody Allen movies. Oh. You don't like Woody Allen? Sure, I like Woody Allen. But you're not crazy about Woody Allen. [[Those early ones kind of get on my nerves.|12.3]] [[I think anybody who isn't ought to be run off the planet.|21.1]]

What's a sort-of girlfriend? [[My mother.|14.3]] [[I just ended a relationship, actually.|15.2]]

This just got creepy. [[Ring it!|14.4]]

"I'm sorry to hear it," you say. "This is my first night out alone in a long time," Bill says. "I feel a little bit at sea, to tell you the truth." "So you didn't stop to talk because you're a Moonie, or you have some weird political affiliation?" [[Nope. Straight-down-the-ticket Republican.|16.1]] [[Straight-down-the-ticket Democrat.|16.2]] [[Can I tell you something about politics?|16.3]] [[I like to think of myself as a citizen of the universe.|16.4]] [[I'm unaffiliated.|16.5]]

[[Ring the bell, stat!|13.1]]

You don't have time for this. [[Ring that bell!|13.1]]

[[Ring the bell!|15.2]]

That's a relief. So am I. I vote my beliefs. Labels are not important. Labels are not important, exactly. Take me for example. I mean, what does it matter if I had a -- [[Two-point at college.|17.1]] [[Three-point at college.|17.2]] [[Four-point at college.|17.3]]

[[Ring the bell!|16.5]]

Or if I did come from -- [[Pittsburgh.|18.1]] [[Cleveland.|18.2]] [[Westchester County.|18.3]]

[[Ring the bell!|17.3]]

Sure. [[I belive that a man is what is he is.|19.1]] [[A person is what he is.|19.2]] [[A person is what they are.|19.3]]

[[Ring the bell!|18.3]]

I think so too. [[So what if I admire Trotsky?|20.1]] [[So what if I once had a total-body liposuction?|20.2]] [[So what if I don't have a penis?|20.3]] [[So what if I spent a year in the Peace Corps? I was acting on my convictions.|20.4]]

[[Ring the bell!|19.3]]

The Woody Allen Festival? Just up the street. Do you like the early ones? [[Those early ones kind of get on my nerves|12.3]] [[I think anybody who doesn't ought to be run off the planet.|21.1]]

"How many times have you seen BANANAS?" Eight times. Twelve. So are you still interested? She considers this for a long moment... Do you like Entenmann's crumb cake...? Last night I went out at two in the morning to get one. Did you have an Etch-a-Sketch as a child? Yes! And do you like Brussels sprouts? Pause. No, I think they're disgusting. They ARE disgusting! Do you believe in marriage in spite of current sentiments against it? Yes. And children? Three of them. Two girls and a boy. Harvard, Vassar, and Brown. And will you love me? Yes. And cherish me forever? Yes. Do you still want to go to the movies? [[Sure thing.|22.1]]

You both call -- WAITER!

[[Ring the bell!|19.3]]

Sure. You just can't hang a sign on a person. Absolutely. I'll bet you're a Scorpio. [[MANY BELLS!!|12.3]]