for mama

you are a very small cat. [[be cat]]

as a cat, your life is pretty nice! you live inside a big warm place, with lots of doors to meow at, and lots of furniture to scratch, and lots of carpet to barf on. you even have three humans who pet you, and feed you, and clean up after you. you love them a lot, even though they won't let you in the bathroom anymore (there's so much good toilet paper to shred in there!) [[your favorite is the mama.->mamaa]]

lately, the mama human has not been very happy. she cries a lot, and yells more than normal too. at first you thought maybe it was your fault, but she's sad even on the days when you don't chew on her electrical cords, or eat her plants, or knock her candles off the coffee table. so you just don't know what could be wrong! no matter what you do, [[she just seems hopeless.]]

she's staying home today, which is the best! sometimes you get lonely when all your humans are out at the same time. you're not real good at dealing with complicated emotions (that's people stuff) so you usually just break something expensive. that always takes the edge off. but today, 'cause she's home, you actually get attention when you break stuff!!! nice! [[she looks sad, though.->except...]]

but you just gotta make her feel better somehow! it's no fun spending a day with a sad human, and besides, you might even care about her a little. (not that you'd ever let her know.) you decide that you're going to [[cheer her up.]]

because you're a cat, you can't do a lot of things. but after a few minutes thinking really hard with your little cat brain, and a few minutes getting distracted by noises that sound like they're coming from the Outside Place, you decide you'll try one of the [[three things you do best.]] (set: $play to false) (set: $meow to false) (set: $way to false)

(if: $play is false)[ [[play->play?]] ] (if: $meow is false)[ [[meow->meow?]] ] (if: $way is false)[ [[get in the way]] ] (if: $play is true and $meow is true and $way is true)[ [[purr]] ]

you run around the house, chasing the dust sprites that float through the sunbeams. the clever little bastards keep on escaping you, but you're too smart for them! in a stroke of genius, you leap up onto a bookshelf, so you can pounce on them from above. one... two... three... you shake your butt a little to steady yourself aaaaaand [[LEAP!]]

you scamper off into the back bedroom. it's your favorite because there's a little square hole in the door that's just your size, and also at night it's the warmest room in the house! the small human lives in here, but they disappear for long stretches of time. they're not here now. you think maybe if they were, the mama human would be less sad. [[meow piteously]]

you come over to where the mama human is sitting in her armchair and try to get in her lap. she's holding her small picture screen. it is like the big picture screen that makes loud noises and bright lights, but smaller and, thankfully, quieter. still, you hate it! it is not nearly as cute or clever or fluffy as you are, but she's paying way more attention to it than she is to you! [[bat at it]]

there's a resounding crash behind you as you land on the floor, and you hear her yell "god DAMN IT" from her armchair. she'll understand it was all worth it though, when you show her the dust sprite you caught her-- wait, where'd it go? you coulda sworn that plan was foolproof-- she approaches you, glowering. you were only trying to help, you promise! [[slink off.]]

you slip away to somewhere nearby, but out of her sight, and watch as she bends over to pick up the books you knocked off the shelf. "jesus, my signed copy of our revolution? fucking cat," she grumbles to herself, brushing dust off the cover of one of the books. after pausing a moment, she brings the book back with her to her armchair. [[-->->keep watching]]

she looks wistfully at the cover. "it should have been you," she says. settling into her armchair, she begins to read. you sneak closer and closer until you're right next to her, and she strokes your head absent-mindedly. "everyone was so excited about you," she tells the book. "if it had been you up against him-- i know you would have won. you had the people. they knew you were right." she pauses. "maybe that's enough reason to have hope." [[-->->three things you do best.]] (set: $play to true)

you meow loud enough that the mama human can hear you all the way from the living room! "i'm in here!" she yells from the living room, assuming that you're anxious because you don't know where she is. but you know where she is, the problem is just that where she is isn't where you are! [[keep meowing]]

you bat at the small picture screen, knocking it out of your mama's hands. she scolds you, but you bat at it again for good measure. you can't be scared into submission just by a scolding! she scolds you louder, and you run away. [[the small picture screen begins to make noise.]]

this is an injustice!! a personal slight against you!!! how dare she not be where you are? you meow even more, to no avail. ...what if she's left and forgotten about you? what if she doesn't even exist anymore? who would pet you and feed you and clean up after you then? you meow and meow until finally she gives up and comes into the back bedroom. you rub up against her legs and she reaches down and scritches your head. "see, i'm right here. it's fine," she says. pfft. you knew that. [[-->->meowza]]

she looks around the bedroom, filled with things that used to smell like the small human but don't anymore. you're not good with time, but you think it's been a while since they visited. sometimes you miss them. you're not real good at dealing with complicated emotions (that's people stuff) so you usually just barf on the rug in their room. that always takes the edge off. the mama human notices the barf now. "god DAMN it!" she yells. [[slink off->hide]]

you slip away to somewhere nearby, but out of her sight, and watch as she collects paper towels and disinfectant spray. grumbling all the way, she gets down on her hands and knees to scrub the rug clean. you don't know why she's bothering. purrsonally, you think it's a great improvement on the pattern! you consider yourself a modern artist in the vein of jackson pollock. [[she pauses, seeing something under the bed.]]

when she pulls it out, you can see it's a small red button, with a hammer-and-sickle hand-drawn on it. you think you remember seeing this button on the small human's jacket, the last time they visited. it must have fallen off way back then! [[-->->more]]

she holds it in her hand, and looks like she might cry. "this isn't the future i wanted for you, my child," she whispers. you sneak closer and closer until you're right next to her, and she rubs you under your chin absent-mindedly. she looks at the button again, rubbing her thumb over the design. "my little revolutionary... well, not so little anymore. you and your friends are fighting so hard for the future you deserve." she smiles. "maybe that's enough of a reason to have hope." [[-->->three things you do best.]] (set: $meow to true)

"hello, love," it says. "what's up?" it sounds like the large human who also lives in the house, but he can't pawsibly be inside the small picture screen! you decide that this is just more proof that the small picture screen is evil, and hiss at it. the mama human shushes you. "nothing, i didn't even call. the fucking cat must have butt-dialed you or something." [[-->->continue]]

"well, that's serendipity, then! i was just about to call you myself. what are you thinking for dinner?" she sighs. "oh, i don't know." "...you okay, hon?" "i'm just having a bad day. it's all in my head, though." [[-->->onwards]]

"tell you what, how about we have date night early this week? i'll take you out for dinner." "no, you don't have to-- and besides, money's tight--" she protests. "you've been having a rough time, hon. we can manage this." "well... okay." "then it's a plan, fran! see you soon." you hear the small picture screen click, and the mama human sets it down. [[-->->indeedly]]

"we just don't have the money to go out like that right now," she murmurs. "i don't know what he's thinking." she sighs deeply and pinches the bridge of her nose. you sneak closer and closer until you're right next to her, and she pets your back absent-mindedly. "he really doesn't seem to be as worried as i am," she says. "i can't help but feel like the world is ending but somehow he still manages to be so damn positive. it makes me feel like i'm so bitter and jaded, but... i know he's just trying to support me, even if he doesn't understand why i'm so upset." she shrugs. "maybe that's enough of a reason to have hope." [[-->->three things you do best.]] (set: $way to true)

you purr loudly, rubbing up against her until she finally picks you up, giving you the attention you so rightfully deserve. (and you didn't even have to break anything this time!) "you are a naughty thing," she says, kissing your head in the way that makes you cringe. (you decide to allow it, though. just this once.) "you're a naughty thing, but i do love you." [[-->->end]]

"when we meet real tragedy in life, we can react in two ways - either by losing hope and falling into self-destructive habits, or by using the challenge to find our inner strength." - "we have hope. rebellions are built on hope." - i'll keep hoping if you will. all my love, ryan. [[play again->start]]