Apologies! Your web browser lacks required capabilities. Please consider upgrading it or switching to a more modern web browser.
Initializing. Please wait…
A tale of love, gold, and trinkets.
[[We begin with a lonely dragon|Dragon]].Dragons cannot abide loneliness. Most dragons deal with this by kidnapping princesses. This has historically been a bad idea, as it leads directly to knights and horses and other unpleasantness. More forward-thinking dragons find a more thoughtful approach to both princesses and hoards.
A hoard is the only thing that is possibly as special to a dragon as a princess (or possibly more).
You yourself are one of these thoughtful modern dragons and as such you eschew violence against the humans in your domain. The little human kings who believe themselves to be in charge are very useful. They deal with petty matters like raising crops and building roads and fighting bandits. When a bigger threat appears, they send a supplicant. You can eliminate any threat in short order.
In return, the kings levy taxes and collect your tribute. They also helpfully get married and produce daughters, which provides you with a pretty regular pool of [[princesses|Princess]]. <<set $pMood = -3>>
<<set $maxMood = 10>>
<<set $minMood = -10>>
<<set $pComfort = 0>>
<<set $maxComfort = 50>>
<<set $minComfort = 0>>
<<set $distance = 1000>>
<<set $hoard = 1000>>
<<set $maxTax = 150>>
<<set $minTax = 50>>
<<set $days = 0>>
<<set $maxDays = 5>>
<<set $minDays = 1>>
<<set $timeline = 50>>
<<set $pHoard = []>>
<<set $pHome = []>>
<<set $trinkets = [
"lace parasol",
"music box",
"velvet cushion",
"tiara",
"string of beads",
"carved swan figurine",
"satin ribbon",
"hand mirror",
"embroidered tapestry",
"wreath of dried flowers",
"wind chimes",
"theater mask",
"set of bangles",
"crystal goblet",
"puzzle-box",
"silk scarf",
"toy horse",
"knitted wool bunny",
"bowl of artificial fruit",
"scented candle",
"butterfly hair comb",
"teardrop sapphire pendant",
"string of pearls",
"cameo brooch",
"fringed shawl",
"charm bracelet",
"porcelein teapot",
"locket"
]>>
<<set $adj = [
"golden",
"delicate",
"complex",
"intricate",
"shiny",
"rare",
"heart-shaped",
"star-shaped",
"magnificent",
"silvery",
"sparkly",
"multicolored",
"ornamental",
"elegant",
"adorable",
"gracious",
"unusual",
"interesting",
"outlandish"
]>>
<<set $home = [
"bronze candlestick",
"down comforter",
"herb garden in a box",
"bound journal",
"braided rug",
"lavender soap",
"pair of leather-soled shoes",
"earthenware pitcher",
"warm woolen shawl",
"embroidery frame",
"box of candies",
"soft-eared puppy",
"clay flowerpot",
"chest of drawers"
]>>Now you have a new princess. You have just returned from the human city where the king lives. It was a satisfactory journey. The king collcted many tributes and your hoard has noticeably grown. You set down the new princess in the little alcove in the wall of your lair, which has a velvet curtain drawn over it to separate it from the main hoard. It has a little bed and a bathtub and all sorts of other things that humans need.
The new princess looks quite young to you, and although you were never good at keeping track of human ages, you think she might last you about half a century. More, if you're careful. You wonder if this one volunteered like the last one. Sometimes they do that, and sometimes their fathers have to order them. Once a king tried to send you a false princess, a peasant girl who had been raised in a palace and dressed in silks.
You took one sniff at her and sent her back. A dragon [[always knows|Distance]]. As a forward-thinking, tax-collecting dragon, you know that the best place to fix your lair is...
* [[Far]] from cities and settlements, where the humans won't bother you.
* [[Near]] to the human settlements, so you can collect more treasure and grow your hoard.
* Somewhere in the [[golden mean|Middle]], if you'll forgive the pun. <<silently>>
<<set $distance = 2000>>
<<set $hoard = 1000>>
<<set $minDays = 3>>
<<set $timeline = 50>>
<<endsilently>>Humans are irritating. You don't like tripping over crunchy little hunters or whatnot.
Your princess, however, [[is not happy|Ready]]. <<silently>>
<<set $distance = 500>>
<<set $hoard = 2000>>
<<set $maxDays = 3>>
<<set $timeline = 25>>
<<endsilently>>It's a little cosmopolitan for a dragon's taste, but there's no arguing with a big pile of gold.
Your princess, however, [[is not happy|Ready]]. <<silently>>
<<set $distance = 1000>>
<<set $hoard = 1000>>
<<set $timeline = 35>>
<<endsilently>>A dragon wants its privacy, but you don't like taking long trips away from your lair. Not even to increase your hoard.
Your princess, however, [[is not happy|Ready]]. <<if $days gte $timeline>>\
Your first <<print $timeline>> days of grace are over. How well did you manage to keep both yourself and your princess happy?
[[Endgame]].
<<else>>What would you like to do?
* Collect your [[tribute|Taxes]] from the awed peasantry.
* Dig into your hoard to find your princess some [[pretty trinkets|Trinkets]] to cheer her up.
* Send a human to market to purchase things to make her [[little nook|Comfort]] more comfortable.
Or check on the state of your...
* ...[[Hoard]].
* ...[[Princess|Princess State of Mind]].
<<endif>><<silently>>
<<set $collect = random($minTax, $maxTax)>>
<<set $hoard += $collect>>
<<set $days += random($minDays, $maxDays)>>
<<endsilently>>You fly around and collect tributes from all the kings and dukes and things in the area. When you get back to your lair you count it out and find you collected <<print $collect>> gold coins and a <<display "Random Object">>.
<<if $days lt $timeline>>[[Back|Are You Happy?]] or [[go again|Taxes]].
<<else>>
[[Back|Are You Happy?]].
<<endif>><<silently>>
<<set $pMood = Math.min($pMood + 1, $maxMood)>>
<<set $days += 1>>
<<set $rand = random($maxTax * 0.9, $maxTax * 1.1)>>
<<set $hoard -= $rand>>
<<endsilently>>You dig around in the back corners of your hoard, looking for interesting items. You find a <<display "Random Object">> and leave it near the alcove for her to find. <<set $pHoard.push($desc + " " + $item)>>
<<if $days lt $timeline>>[[Back|Are You Happy?]] or [[go again|Trinkets]].
<<else>>
[[Back|Are You Happy?]].
<<endif>><<silently>>
<<set $money = random(10, $maxTax / 2)>>
<<set $hoard -= $money>>
<<set $rand = random(0, $home.length - 1)>>
<<set $item = $home[$rand]>>
<<set $pHome.push($item)>>
<<set $rand = random($maxComfort / 5, $maxComfort / 10)>>
<<set $pComfort = Math.min($pComfort + $rand, $maxComfort)>>
<<set $days += 1>>
<<endsilently>>Going to market is beneath your dignity as a dragon and impossible besides, so you borrow a peasant boy from a nearby village. He leaves with <<print $money>> gold coins from your hoard and returns with a <<print $item>>.
<<if $days lt $timeline>>[[Back|Are You Happy?]] or [[go again|Comfort]].
<<else>>
[[Back|Are You Happy?]].
<<endif>><<display "Princess State of Mind 1">>
[[Back|Are You Happy?]]. <<display "Hoard 1">>
[[Back|Are You Happy?]]. version 1.01a game by HazelYou started out with a hoard of <<print $start>>.
<<display "Hoard 1">>
<<if $hoard lt 1000>>This is not really a satisfying dragon hoard. <<elseif $hoard gt 2000>>A magnificent treasure that any dragon could be proud of. <<else>>Respectable. <<endif>>
<<display "Princess State of Mind 1">>
<<if ($pMood lt 0) or ($pComfort lt 20)>>You will probably want to go back and trade her in for another one. What a bother. <<elseif $pMood eq $maxMood>>Your princess couldn't be happier. <<elseif $pComfort eq $maxComfort>>She says living in a lair is almost as good as living in a palace. <<else>>Things are going to plan. <<endif>>Your princess has been living with you for <<print $days>> days. She is <<nobr>>
<<set $happy = "", $comfortable = "">>
<<if $pMood gte 8>>
<<set $happy = "delighted">>
<<elseif $pMood gte 5>>
<<set $happy = "cheerful">>
<<elseif $pMood gte 3>>
<<set $happy = "content">>
<<elseif $pMood lte -8>>
<<set $happy = "desolate">>
<<elseif $pMood lte -5>>
<<set $happy = "dejected">>
<<elseif $pMood lte -2>>
<<set $happy = "gloomy">>
<<else>>
<<set $happy = "very difficult to read">>
<<endif>>
<<if $pComfort gte 40>>
<<set $comfortable = "lavish">>
<<elseif $pComfort gte 30>>
<<set $comfortable = "gracious">>
<<elseif $pComfort gte 20>>
<<set $comfortable = "cozy">>
<<elseif $pComfort gte 10>>
<<set $comfortable = "habitable">>
<<else>>
<<set $comfortable = "disagreeable">>
<<endif>>
<<endnobr>><<print $happy>>. She says she finds her living situation <<print $comfortable>>.
Princess hoard: <<print $pHoard>>
Living alcove: <<print $pHome>>Your hoard is now estimated at <<print $hoard>> gold crowns. <<set $start = $hoard>>You have a hoard of <<print $hoard>> gold coins and one princess. She looks pretty sulky. What can you do to [[make her happy|Are You Happy?]]? <<silently>>
<<set $rand = random(0, $trinkets.length - 1)>>
<<set $item = $trinkets[$rand]>>
<<set $rand = random(0, $adj.length - 1)>>
<<set $desc = $adj[$rand]>>
<<endsilently>><<print $desc>> <<print $item>>