Twas brillig and the slithy toves did gyre and gimble in the wabe (fuck you Fleisch). The new blood moon doth wane in the March sky. With thirst for the red stuff on his mind, young werewolf Antonio did leave the studio at the midnight hour, having finally submitted his work. It is the final hand in for D&AD tomorrow, and he could not wait to put the stress behind him. Where does he want to eat?
[[M&S]]
[[No time, he's starving for flesh]]
Ah, of course, sophisticated and sexy in equal measure - Antonio gallops into M&S on Brixton highstreet, peckish for one of those pizzas with ham and pineapple that he so adores. He gets to the checkout, grabs some Percy Pigs - now only 50p for Banderscab readers - on his way through, before realising he's lost his card!
[[RUN]]
[[Go back to SCA and find your card]]
[[Percy Pigs? tell me more]]Overcome with predatory lupine instinct, Antonio scrambles on all fours across the gardens in front of the school, stopping only to piss in the fountain on his way out. Still on his hands and knees, he spots a silhouette in the distance and howls maniacally. The potency of the New Blood moon has taken over his mind entirely. He slams into the figure full force, crippling their legs and ensuring an easy kill. He devours both of the figures arms before he catches a glimpse of the awful mistake he has just made. Tom's gaunt corpse, quickly turning grey under the amber streetlights, looks back up at him with shocked eyes.
[[oh well, I am full, time for a sleep]]
[[just like my mamma made it]]
[[God I hope he submitted our work first]]
[[NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! *Italian hand gestures*]]A helpful M&S assistant comes to check on Antonio, but our hero mistakes his approach as a threat and immediately decapitates him. There's chunks of brain all over Antonio's pizza. Others in the shop begin to scream and flee, but Antonio cannot move. He is fixated on the blood... he wonders if it'll taste as nice as the tomato base on his pizza. His percy pigs were unsullied, protected by an air-tight shield of sustainable plastic - holding in the natural flavours.
[[hide the body]]
[[go home]]
[[Percy Pigs? tell me more]] Wracked with guilt, Antonio abandons the ham and pineapple pizza that his stomach did grumble for and sets off back up Brixton hill. He reaches the church, climbs the winding stairs to the familiar red-stepped entrance to SCA. There is but one light left on, the familiar glow of a laptop screen, illuminating a familiar face. "Marcia?" Antonio asked into the darkened room. He was met with an uneasy gasp and shuffle, so he flicked on the lights. There she was, brandishing his debit card, a thief caught in the act. He dashed over to the laptop, heart in mouth, but he was too late. She had already placed a stupendously large order of rogaine hair growth serum and blue hair dye on Amazon. Antonio fell to his knees and threw his hands up to the sky, "noooooooooo, mamma mia"
[[Chase Marcia]]
[[explore the school further]]FOR ONE DAY ONLY...
Enjoy the natural pig-based juices of Percy Pigs pig flavoured pig chews *pig juice never tasted so fruity*
Just walk into your nearest M&S, pick up a bag of Percy's own and stroll out. At the door, give the guard the secret signal to redeem your Banderscab reader's only deal. Show him the packet of Percy's and simply shout the words "do one" before sprinting out of the shop to redeem. Alternatively, redeem online with the code BANDERSCAB69 at the checkout.
Unphased by all the murdering, Antonio wanders home at a leisurely pace - his long flowing hair gently swaying in the midnight wind. He was so full he could barely stand up by th etime he got through the door. So much so that he had no energy to kiss his wife and children good night. It was a tough life to lead, that of a werewolf junior art director, Italian stallion, and loving father to five boys.
[[sleep]]Fresh, succulent and full of flavour, just like mamma made. It truly is a Dolmio day.
[[oh well, I am full, time for a sleep]] Hmmmmm I think he was uploading it earlier, I'll remind myself to check when I get home.
[[oh well, I am full, time for a sleep]] He screams into the night, crying until little strings of vermicelli come out of his nose. "What have I done?" he howled whilst crawling away. The potency of the New Blood Moon had corrupted his mind, his eyes has turned entirely to black and they scoured the landscape like ~~daggers~~ pencils.
[[find your next meal]]No time, the old bill are here. Antonio goes down for 25 years for straight up murdering that dude. He accepts his three black pencils from behind bars, Marc visits him every weekend to do SMPs. When he gets out, all his classmates are ECDs and big time ballers, he's still got the skills to pay the bills so he strolls right into a job at Google, which is now run in Europe, Middle East and Asia by Dean. Another day, another ham and pineapple pizza. With a couple slices of the good stuff in his tum tum, Antonio is ready for bed. Thank goodness I only ate delicious ham and pineapple pizza and not people.
[[sleep]]Marcia immediately assumes the form of a bat and flies into the windows of the studio. She should've known there was no way of escaping, not without smashing through several layers of glass. Her human form reappeared by the entrance to the stairwell, with Antonio in fast pursuit. His eyes were bloodshot at the betrayal. Just as he hit top speed, a stray iMac charger stretched some 15 metres across the studio garotted him, splitting him into neat halves. Hearing his whimpers, Marcia tentatively approached. Antonio could hear the unexpected sound of keys jangling, what was she doing? Two strong arms dragged the upper half of his corpse through to dunbar, and into Marcia's storage cupboard. "No, no, not like this" he begged. In this room, Marcia had all the tools needed to erase Antonio from this planet. "Please, I have a wife, I have five children, please! I'm not even Italian". But, what he had forgotten to recognise, was that this is the night of the New Blood Moon... Marcia cackled as she slammed the doors behind them, her fangs immediately protruding and her muscles tense for the meal ahead.
[[you died]] Antonio runs out of the room with tears in his eyes, seeking the solitarity of dunbar. He runs in and falls to the floor dramatically. A strange beating sound let him know he was not alone...
Across the room Max, profusely dripping sweat, pummeled a punch bag with a combination that sent vibrations through the room. "Oh, hi Antonio. You've interrupted my training" she said "I'll never get strong enough to KO Saphire if you FUCKING students keep interrupting me!"
[[fight!]]
[[accept death]]Sleep fell over his eyes and he assumed the foetal position on his bed. His dreams were lurid and manic, as they were every night. In one he was dressed as a snickers bar and Vic was chasing him, intent on devouring another snack. In another, he could feel crabs crawling all over his skin as a dark figure charmed them with silver tongued words from the corner. On the final "yes my crabs" he awoke in a cold sweat. Sunlight poured in through the cracks in his blind, and his eyes darted immediately to his alarm clock. "FOUR THIRTY!" He had slept for 16 hours! The hand-in... he only had 30 minutes to check his work.
[[Run to school]]He could hear the motor of a very small engine in the distance. His ears pricked up, ready to follow prey. As he got closer, a man on a motorised scooter came into view. "An easy target" the beast within Antonio whispered. He pounced on the figure, dragging his body into nearby hedges...
"Marc?"
"Antonio... I wasn't expecting to see you out so late"
"No... I'm... wait, what was I doing?"
"It's okay, I understand, you don't have to hide in front of me"
Marc kissed Antonio on the lips, and suddenly everything came rushing back. The pencils, the briefs, the taste of new blood on his tongue. Whilst Marc was busy trying to french our Italian hero, Antonio's rage was refuelled. He clamped his teeth down on Marc's tongue, severing it clean off with his incisors. Whilst Marc rolled on the floor in pain Antonio stood idly over him.
"If it ain't pizza or pasta, I don't want it in my mouth" he said, spitting blood that was not his own. The whole ordeal had left him feeling rather empty and devoid of hunger, it was time to go home, it was time for bed.
[[sleep]] New Blood fever has gone to Antonio's brain, he runs down Brixton Hill like a feral animal, tearing through the crowds of schoolchildren as he went. When he reaches the school, he bursts through the doors, 4.42. He logs on to one of the macs, as the rest of the class looks on confusedly. "Nothing... they have nothing..." his work had not been uploaded. His world began to crumble around him, the walls caved in, the fire consumed his mind, the... hold on...
Antonio was free, the sickness was lifted, his mind was cleared. He walked out to the grass and bathed in the sunlight. He wouldn't win a pencil, but it was all over now. He blew himself up a lilo and floated around the pond, waving to Patxi as he swam by.
The moral of the story, children, is don't lose your head over the next two weeks. Just take it easy, and prevent Antonio from his inevitable attempts at murdering Tom. [[you died]][[you died]]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wVyggTKDcOE