Hat Films' Wine or Cheese demo.

Thank you for playing this demo.\n\n\nYou have reached the end of the /r/Yogscast proof of concept for //Hat Films' Wine or Cheese//. Now you know what the full game will look like, roughly. Expect the full release soon.\n\n\nCoded and written by /u/squidsbybrianwilson\n\nSpecial thanks to /u/TheCyberTronn

You throw open the fridge. You're really hungry. Seeing that cheese made you hungry. Congratulations then, because the entire fridge is full of cheese. All kinds. Cheddar and Jack and Colby and Brie and Camembert and Gouda and Roquefort and Edam and Bleu and even cream cheese on a bagel and a graham-cracker crust cheesecake. You have never seen so much cheese since you went to your old Granny Mabel's house and there was that incident with the parrot...\n\nYou shove away the memory for now, it's too painful and embarrasing. So you instead reach for a piece of delicious looking, if bizarre, cheese because goddamn you're hungry.\n\n\nYou can either [[cut a piece of cheesecake|CheescakeEnd]] or [[reach for some Roquefort|RoquefortEnd]]

Unvisualia Entertainment presents\n\n//Hat Films' Wine or Cheese//\n\n<strong>The /r/Yogscast demo/proof of concept</strong>\n\nAn interactive comedy game.\n\n\n\n\n[[Wine]]\n\nor \n\n[[Cheese]]

You run out of the room, unable to comprehend what unspeakable horror just happened to you. You don't even look where you are going, you just bang into walls in shock, trying to get away from that infernal wine and the apparent contents of your stomach. Perhaps, your think, some fresh air would do you good. \n\nBut when you open your front door, instead of seeing your neighborhood, all you see is a field of wheat stretching as far as the eye can see.\n\nAnd somethings's slithering in the grass.\n\n\nIt's either [[A giant snake with the head of Chris Trott|VacTrottEnd]] or [[three thousand pissed off mice|MiceEnd]].

You get to your feet and run as fast you can, but the giant cheese is gaining on you. It's unstoppable, this cheese, and it smells vaguely of Gorgonzola, which is even worse. Luckily for you, you are one of the top marathon runners in the world and this street is flat. This means the cheese is a bit slower that you first realized. I mean, its still unstoppable and will probably kill you, but it's not racing like a bat out of hell.\n\nYou swerve right to avoid the cheese, into a large empty lot just off the road. The cheese swerves too! Fuck, the cheese must be following you for some dark, arcane reason. \n\n\n\nYou can either [[swerve enough the cheese will hopefully run into something|Swerve]] or [[book it in a straight line|Straight Line]]

You hesitantly open a bottle of '1969 Merlot' and take a sip. MMM! That's some tasty wine! You glug down the whole bottle happily and throw it aside, where it smashes next to your bed and your Pleasureville CD. But then you double over in pain. Your stomach is gurgling in a supremely unpleasant way. But before you can reach for a bottle of Pepto-Bismol, you fall to your knees and vomit.\n\n\nBut this is no ordinary vomit. In place of your usual half-digested food, you vomit up (inexplicably without pain) a carrot, a live guinea pig, a diamond ring, and a box of sharpened crayons.\n\nYou can either [[freak the fuck out that you vomited up this weird shit|Panic]] or you can accept this bizarre day and [[clean the gastric juices off the unharmed pig|Accept]].

At first nothing happens. You dismiss the genie and it vanishes, leaving the faint smell of grapes in your room. But the next day, when you go to work, something's off. At precisely 12:00 noon, right when your firm takes it's lunch break, your a gurgling coming from the office of your fat, sweaty, pushy boss. A gurgling sound and horrified spitting. A smile creeps across your face. \n\n\nYou push open your desk drawer to see a brown dagger flecked with ice crystals. You know what this is. You can either [[use the shagger of your choking boss and face the consequences|ShaggerEnd]] or [[go full maniac with the shagger on your office|RossEnd]]

You quickly dash into one of the seemingly abandoned houses. It's dark and dingy but suprisngly immaculate. You hear the cheese roll on by, crushing a car outside with a loud HONK.\nBecause the house seems abandoned, and there's a giant fucking cheese outside for Christ's sake, you decide to explore the place.\n\nYou can either [[poke around upstairs|Upstairs]] or [[raid the fridge|Fridge]] because you're peckish as shit.

//HAT FILMS' WINE OR CHEESE DEMO//

You wonder what in the hell a mysterious wine rack is doing in your room. You pick up a metal chair and toss it at the wine. It explodes into a million pieces of glass, a large pile of splintered wood, and a terrific splash of wine. \n\nAs you expected, because what else would happen if a metal chair were tossed at a wine rack.\n\nBut then the wine and shards start to draw together, forming a horrific giant wine golem genie thing. It's kind of hard to catagorize. But you notice that it's looking at you with respect and reverance. You speak up. "Who are you?"\n\n"I am the wine genie. You summoned me by smashing my other form with the Metal of Seating as was fortold in the Propheecy. What do you desire as I will grant your every wish."\n\nHmm.\n\nBecause you're a vain, petty bastard, you can either wish for [[your significant other to become more attractive|Sex]] or you can wish for [[your boss to eat shit|Revenge]]

You are in your room at home. But instead of the bookshelf you had placed by your bed, you find an old wine rack. The bottles are dusty, and the labels are written in an unknown script but you can read the vintage and type of wine. One says 'Cabernet 1972' and another reads 'Pinot Grigio 2006' \n\n\nYou can either [[drink the wine|Drink]] or [[smash the wine rack|Smash]]

You wake up on a suburban street. It's quiet, but far too quiet. There are no birds singing. Something's wrong.\nSuddenly you feel a vibration beneath your feet. There's a terrific gravely rumbling. Suddenly you see a giant, 10 meter high wheel of cheese rolling down the street towards you, crushing mailboxes and cars parked along the side of the road.\n\n\n\n\nYou can either [[outrun the cheese|Outrun]] or [[dash into the houses|Houses]].

You swerve back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. Like a snake that had it's brain fried with a magnet by some particularly cruel child. The cheese follows you, maddeningly and impossibly swerving around with you. You're starting to feel dizzy. You see some trees over on your left and on your right you see a lorry with a old, solid wooden ramp on it. Probably left by some skateboarder or something, judging by the 'Lil Micky wuz here matez' graffiti on it\n\nYou can either [[swerve for the forest, hoping a tree will impale the cheese|ShreddedEnd]] or [[run up the ramp and jump, hoping the cheese will go airborne|TouchTheSkyEnd]]

You head unsteadliy upstairs, hoping to find some poor family cowering in their rooms because of the cheese outside, but there's no one about. Nothing. It's like no one had ever lived in this spooky cheese-house. You wonder if there are cheese ghosts about, and how to protect yourself from them. What's the opposite of cheese?\n\nWhile you ponder, you begin to search. You can either [[enter what appears to be a little girl's room|DaughterEnd]] or [[enter the master bathroom|FilfyLooEnd]]

You hope that by running in a straight line you might cause the cheese to start to slow down or stop. Not so. This is one persistant cheese. It's terribly interested in crushing you, for some unknown reason. An idea hits you, suddenly! You know how to stop the cheese! And this time it's gonna work!\n\nYou slow your running. The cheese gets closer. You can either [[let the cheese roll over you|MangleEnd]] or [[jump away at the last second|DesperationEnd]]

This day's strange enough already. You scoop up the guinea pig, who is wheeking contently despite being retched from the stomach of another organism. When you wash it off, it dosen't even complain. "What a strange little creature," you think to youself. You hold it up and it looks back at you with little black eyes. "Jerrold," you say. "I will call you Jerrold."\n\n"Fuckin' disgustin' name mate. Piss off or call me somefink else." Jerrold growls.\n\n\nYou can either [[frantically rename Jerrold so the talking guinea pig you just vomited will be appeased|DafuqEnd]] or [[wrap Jerrold in a towel and shove him in a cage until you know you're sane|SanityEnd]].

Seeing as your disatisfied with your love life, and considering you're a bit of a douche, you decide to ask Mr Glass-N-Grape to grant you this wish.\n\nSuddenly you hear the door slam shut. Your signifigant other is home! You dismiss the wine genie who mutters about "Stupid petty sex-obsessed buggers why do I always get the idiot ones" and transforms into a bottle of wine. You scoop up the wine and run down to greet them. \n\n//IF YOU ARE A STRAIGHT GUY OR LESBIAN PLEASE READ THIS PARAGRAPH//\n\nWhat you find is a shocking and beautiful sight. Your significant other has been transformed. Wide green eyes are covered by lush, long blond hair. Beneath her dainty nose are plump lips and a cute chin. She has toned arms, larger breasts and a flat stomach, which tapers down to wide hips and a bouncy, bigger bum. She is the epitome of beauty as we know it in our culture.\n\n//IF YOU ARE A STRAIGHT GIRL OR GAY MAN PLEASE READ THIS PARAGRAPH//\n\nWhat you find is a shocking and beautiful sight. Your significant other has been transformed. Wide blue eyes are framed by short brown hair. Beneath his straight nose are smirking lips and a strong chin. He has muscled arms, pronounced pecs and a serious six-pack, which shoots down to powerful thighs and a serious set of tight glutes. He is the epitome of beauty as we know it in our culture.\n\nBut of course something's wrong because life isn't fair and there's always a price and you were an idiot for messing with your love blah blah blah.\n\nEither your significant other [[now speaks like the Wicked Witch of Oz now because you only thought of physical beauty you shit |LittleDogEnd]], or [[the epitome of beauty isn't attractive to you, because this wine-genie is very literal and you didn't specify|UnattractiveEnd]]\n\n\n\n\nEither way, you got what you deserved you creepy shit. Yes, I'm judging you.

Unvisualia Entertainment