Welcome to Tinder

DISCLAIMER: This game does contain situations which some players may find offensive. It is recommeded that only players 18 years or older play though this game. Welcome to the world of Tinder! Who would you like to meet today? [[Men]] [[Women]]

You have two matches already! Who would you like to talk to? [[Chad]] [[Braiden]] [[Ew. No, I don't want to talk first, that's lame.]]

You have two matches! Who would you like to talk to first? [[Brittney]] [[Taylor]] [[Ew. No, I don't want to talk first, that's lame.]]

You swipe though Chad's pictures and determine that he's an uncommonly good looking guy. Frankly speaking, he almost looks photoshopped. The conversation starts with the usual "hey, how's your day going" and it quickly progresses to him asking to meet up. He comes off as a little arrogant, but you think "if I worked out as much as he did instead of binge watching House on Netflix, I'd probably be a little cocky too". How do you respond? [[Sure, Coffee tomorrow around 3?]] [[Sure, I'm free tonight. Want to come over and watch a few episodes of House?]] [[Sorry, I can't. I have to go...babysit my friend's goldfish.]]

You scroll through Braiden's pictures and you find that he sort of reminds you of a puppy-- Big, innocent eyes, genunie smile and he appears to have a lot of energy for hiking, camping, champing (camping with copious amounts of beer) and what appears to be skydiving. "Hey, how's your day going" turns into a philosophical discussion, but in a cool, intelectually stimulating sort of way. He invites you to go to an anti-capitalist/patriarchy rally downtown the following evening. How do you respond? "Yeah! I'd love to! It is so great to finally meet a guy who's secure enough to fight for equal rights! [[Where should we meet?]] You have a mild shoe addiction and you therefore kind of don't mind capitalism. Buying things makes you happy. You [[politely decline]] and say that it's not really your thing, but maybe you can hang out with him another time.

You scroll through Brittney's pictures and find that she is a very attractive brunette who loves animals and hanging out at the beach. You ask how her day is going and she responds that it's going okay. After very little pressing, she explains that she's having a bit of a bad day. Do you respond and say: "Oh. That's too bad. I'm free all afternoon, why don't I [[take you out for coffee]] to help get your mind off things :)" Or do you [[not respond]] because this seems a bit heavy for a first conversation?

You scroll though Taylor's pictures and discover that she is a very attractive blonde who enjoys playing music and partying with her girlfriends. You message her and ask how her day is going and she responds that she's having a great day and that she's just returned from California. She's proceeds to tell you that she's going out to a bar tonight and that you should go meet her. What do you think? Surely [[just one drink]] couldn't hurt or, are you [[not much of a drinker]]?

Well that's unfortunate. It's been nearly a week now since you have signed up for Tinder and you haven't talked to a single person. Well. This is it. You're not even 30 yet and you've decided that you're destined to die alone. Are you sure you don't want to trying starting a conversation with one of your matches? Yeah, I'm just going to [[give up on it and buy a cat]] Uggghhhh fine. Who's still on this stupid app? [[Open Tinder]]

Are you sure you [[don't want to talk to anyone]] ? There could be something there. Come on. If you don't feel comfortable talking to [[Men]], maybe you can try talking to [[Women]] first.

"Sorry babe, I have a ton of stuff to do tmrw. What about tonight ;) Doctor Strange just came out on netflix u should come over". So how about it- are you going to go over and watch Benedryl Cabbagepatch go warp time and space? How do you respond? [[Sure, text me your address and I'll swing by around 8.]] [[I'm not super comfortable going to someone's house on the first date. Coffee another day?]]

Chad agrees to come by around 8 with a bag of popcorn. You've actually made an effort to change out of your wonderfully comfortable sweatpants and make yourself look nice for the evening. Chad finally knocks on the door around 8:45. Upon coming in, he half-heartedly appologizes for being late and comments that you look kind of cute in those pajamas. You are not wearing pajamas. How do you respond? [[Confused and nervous, you say "uhhh hahaha, I'm not wearing pjs, it's just the style. Thank you though"]] [[He's 45 minutes late, without popcorn, and just refered to your outfit as sleeping attire. You politely, yet firmly, ask him to leave.]]

Chad texts back "lol k." I guess his arrogant tone sort of annoyed you. Well, would you like to talk to [[Braiden]] instead? Or maybe you'd prefer talking to [[Women]]?

You arrive at what appears to be a frat house. After knocking on the door, Chad invites you inside and comments on how cute your pajamas are. You're not wearing Pajamas. How do you respond? [[You laugh nervously]] and respond by saying, "They aren't pjs, it's just the style. But thanks, I like them too haha". You're annoyed and ask, "Wow. Did you just try to neg me?" You've heard of this pick-up artist tactic before and you simply don't have the time nor the patience for it. Chad tries to argue with you and say you don't know how to take a compliment. You proceed to [[go home.]]

Chad doesn't respond. You text him the following day asking how he is but still recieve no response. You're annoyed, but you're fairly convinced that this is a sign that Chad is either a murderous psychopath or a jerk who was just looking for an instant hook-up. You're not really into either of those scenarios. Do you want to talk to your other match, [[Braiden]]? Or maybe you'd prefer to talk to [[Women]] instead.

You start to get comfortable on the couch. Things are going pretty well, you've started cuddling and both of you seem to be more interested in each other than what's playing on the TV. As you start to cuddle next to each other, you notice what appears lacey underwear sticking out just over the top of his jeans. What's going though your mind right now? [[I didn't know Calvin Klein had a lace collection for men]] [[I need an excuse to get out of this]]

Chad looks at you as if you had just kicked a puppy. "Wait, are you serious?" Chad studders as you push him out the door. "Thank you for your time, but I don't think this is going to work out", you say coldly. He contines to pester you as you push him out the door, explaing how great he is and how you don't know how to take a compliment. He finally leaves. After watching an episode of House, you debate striking up a conversation with your other match. How are you feeling right now? Honestly, after that experience I think everyone on Tinder has entitement issues or issues of some kind. I think I'm just going to [[give up on it and buy a cat]] until a Hugh Grant character comes along. I'm bored. What the Hell, why not, what was his name again? I think it was [[Braiden]]?

Chad invites you upstairs since the TV in the living room doesn't connect to Netflix. You follow him into his room where you see a double bed, a desk, a decent sized tv and, various posters of sports illistrated models wearing bikinis. You sit down on the bed while Chad turns on Netflix. Things are going pretty well, you've started cuddling and both of you seem to be more interested in each other than what's playing on the TV. As you start to cuddle next to each other, you notice what appears lacey underwear sticking out just over the top of his jeans. What's going though your mind right now? [[I didn't know Calvin Klein had a lace collection for men]] You have a habit of doing this thing where your mouth moves before your brain actually realzies what you're saying aloud. You end up saying exactly what's on your mind.So you blurt out "[[Is that a thong?]]"

Chad proceeds to call out obseneties as you walk away. You've determined that you've dodged a bullet. Well, just because Chad was a jerk, doesn't mean all men are. So how about it? There's always that other guy you matched with. Text [[Braiden]] or maybe [[Women]] would be nicer to hang out with. Worst case you could always [[give up on it and buy a cat]]

Congraduations! You now have a little kitten named Sparta who will be your best friend for the next 15 years or so. While Sparta may annoy you with his constant playing thoughout the night, it does make you feel better that there's an excuse for anything going bump in the night. You're sort of done with the whole Tinder thing. Cats are crazy, but they're your kind of crazy. The End 1/6

Chad looks down and sees that you've noticed his lacey, florecent pink underwear. He looks embarassed, gets up and says he just needs to run to the bathroom. Upon returning, while his pants are resting on his hips, there appears to be no sign of the florecent pink underwear you thought you'd seen before. However he does appear to have something in the left-side pocket of his jeans. What's going through your mind? You're not terribly bothered by it. You think "Whatever, he's cute and there are much weirder things that he could be into". [[This isn't a deal breaker for you]]. You didn't really sign up for a guy who's into wearing women's underwear. Your immediate thought is "[[I need an excuse to get out of this]]"

"What.. haha no, what are you talking about?!" Chad says nervously as he pulls his pants up. He gets up and excliams that he just needs to run to the bathroom. Upon returning, while his pants are resting on his hips, there appears to be no sign of the florecent pink underwear you thought you'd seen before. However he does appear to have something in the left-side pocket of his jeans. What are you thinking? This is a little too weird. [[I need an excuse to get out of this]] You regret saying anything to embarass him. You think "Whatever, he's cute and there are much weirder things that he could be into". [[This isn't a deal breaker for you]]

You thank Chad for the lovely evening and explain that you completely forgot that you have to pick up your sister from this thing in 10 minutes. You insist that you had an awesome night and that you'll totally call him the next time you have a free evening. He goes in for a kiss and you tactfully evade it with an awkward turn of the head and he kisses you on the cheek. Upon settling back into your apartment, you text your best friend about your strange evening. It is mutually agreed that your date was a little weird, but that it could have been worse. You did still have that other match [[Braiden]]. Maybe you'd text him tomorrow. Granted, after tonight, if someone is going to wear women's underwear, you'd much rather see them on [[Women]]. Then again, you never know who you're going to meet on Tinder and there's some pretty weird people out there. Maybe you'll [[give up on it and buy a cat]]

You turn to Chad in an attempt to engage him and say, "You know, it's really nice to meet a guy who's comfortable with what he likes. If you like the colour pink, you should totally wear it. I could see you totally pulling it off". Chad looks shocked at first but then says "Really? You think so?" "Yeah, why not?" Chad looks incredibly happy. "Well if that's the case," Chad begins excitedly. "Maybe I can show you some stuff". [["Yeah!"]]

Chad proceeds to pull out his phone and show you what seems like La Senza's entire lingerie collection from 2014-2017. He explains that while he enjoys wearing some pieces, he particularly enjoys having other pieces modeled for him. What do you do? As it so happens, you're actually wearing particularly flattering underwear today. You ask Chad if [[he'd like to see them]] You immediately regret being so accepting. [[I need an excuse to get out of this]]

"Oh my God, yes!" he exclaims. You then proceed to have an intimate evening and you part ways the next morning. You still can't find the underwear you wore that night and you're fairly certain he has them. You accept that they're gone forever. The End 2/6

Braiden says that there's an awesome gluten-free bakery that's close to the rally. "That sounds great! [[I'll see you around 4 :)]]" "I've never been to a gluten-free bakery before. [[Do you have a gluten allergy :(]]"

You put your phone down for 20 minutes to finish up some work. When you pick up your phone again, you see that you have 2 missed calls and several text messages from Braiden. They read as follows: Awww come on, it's a super liberating experience You should really come :) it's not just a bunch of man-hating lesbians lol lol you're not one of those people who hates feminism are you? lolololol are you ignoring me? I'm sorry if I came off as a little intense, I just feel really passionate about equality I said I was sorry you don't have to ignore me lol you're being so immature I think you misunderstood me so I'm going to call so we can figure out tomorrow Wow. Screening my calls now. You're such a b*%$& I'm sorry. Please call me. I swear I'm a really nice guy :) How do you respond You [[ghost him]]. He is clearly nuts. You text him back and apologize profusely for being away from your phone and tell him that you will try going to that thing tomorrow night. He responds "lol! it's all good! I was just kidding lol. [[Where should we meet?]]"

It's been 4 hours and he's still messaging you. Do you [[block his number]] or do you text him back and agree to go to the rally and ask him "[[Where should we meet?]]

Well, that was an ordeal. While the Braiden was a little too crazy for you, maybe you'd fair better talking to [[Chad]] Or maybe this experience has made you swear of men so you'll decided to pursue [[Women]] Or maybe you feel like people and dating suck and you just want to [[give up on it and buy a cat]]

You meet Braiden at Bunner's Bakeshop and decide to share a slice of the "Best Chocolate Cake Ever". It's actually pretty good. The conversation is flowing pretty well and Braiden even let you have the last bite, which was pretty sweet. You start to walk to the rally and Braiden explains that the rally is for a good cause and, excitedly tells you about the feeling of empowerment that comes with attending such events. As you approach, you begin to hear yelling. You continue moving closer when all of a sudden, you see a group of 20 somethings yelling obsenities at an old couple walking by. You hear phrases like 'fascist swine' and 'evil captialists'. [[Oh dear]]. You think this is an ANTI-FA rally Yey! This sounds like your kind of rally. You [[join the crowd]]

He explains that while he doesn't have a gluten allergy, gluten is really bad for you and he's cut it out of his diet completely, and you totally should too. He also mentions that the bakery has amazing vegan, gluten free cupcakes. "That sounds great! [[I'll see you around 4 :)]] On second thought, this doesn't really sound like your cup of tea. You [[politely decline]]

Upon walking out of the police station, Braiden and his father have invited you over for dinner. You happily accept, and Braiden's father drives you and Braiden back to their 3.5 million dollar lakeshore estate. You continue to talk to Braiden about the evils of capitalism over a $349 bottle of merlot. He's so understanding of current economic stuggles and politics. <3 You're in love. You totally don't marry for money. The end 4/6

As the crowd continues to yell at this adorable old couple, the older lady trips and falls. The crowd continues to yell at her. You [[help her up]] and ask if she's okay. You [[join the crowd]] and call her a heartless capitalist.

You join the crowd and yell at several people. Braiden participates whole heartedly with you until he is approached by an angry, middle-aged gentleman in biker attire. They begin arguing and oh my God, he just punched Braiden in the face. Oh my God. You can't believe this is happening. Braiden provides a feeble resistance as the police walk over. What do you do? [[Run!]] You don't want to get arrested. You cuss out the biker and the police officer in Braiden's defense. Before you know it, you and Braiden are [[sitting in the back of a cop car]]

As you assist this poor, visibly terrified old woman, Braiden looks at you with disgust and ask why you are helping her. You look back with an equally disgusted look and ask why he's acting like such a jerk all of a sudden. "She's a dirty capitalist and capitalists are the scum of the earth", he tells you. What do you do? Well, I guess now that you put it that way...[[join the crowd]] You look at him in disbelief, and walk away. You decide to [[block his number]] for good measure.

Things got a little too real for you. You try calling and texting Braiden but he doesn't answer. You finally recieve an text the following day, calling you a coward for not sticking around to defend him. Due to the assult, he feels he needs to move and change identities. Well. That was a fun experience. Maybe you'll text [[Chad]] or try your luck with [[Women]] Or maybe you'll buy [[Courage]]

Braiden rants to you about how he can't believe that you're both in this situation. Neither of you did anything wrong! All you did was try to enlighten the capitalists! He just can't believe the world he's living in. He thanks you for sticking around and tells you that he'll tell his Dad to bail you out too. [[Braiden's dad picks both of you up from the police station]]. Thankfully, Braiden's dad was coming from his Bay Street job and picking both of you up was on his way home anyway. He's a very pleasant man and praises both you and Braiden for standing up for yourselves and your beliefs.

Congraduations! You are now the proud owner of a Pomeranian puppy named courage. She barks a lot and makes your brain rattle, but you love her anyway. You've decided to give up on dating and dedicate yourself to being an awesome pet-parent. The End 3/6

You agree to meet Taylor at a bar downtown called Hustons. When you arrive, Taylor sees you, loudly slurs your name and gives you a big hug. "[[Heyyy it's good to meet you too]]", you say as you hug her back. [[You feel super awkward and uncomfortable right now]] and don't know how to respond.

Taylor Responds: "LOL Really? I've never met anyone who doesn't enjoy drinking. Maybe I can change your mind ;)" Choose. "Honestly, I've tried it and it's really just not my thing. What about coffee, or there's this really awesome [[ice cream place I could take you to]]" Or "Well...maybe [[just one drink]] won't hurt. I might stick to water though because I have to drive"

Brittney agrees to meet you at Starbucks. You arrive before Brittney does and order a coffee. You see Brittney come through the door and stand to greet her. She sees you and smiles warmly. "Hey, thanks for meeting me. I really needed to get out of the house", she says. You say that it's your pleasure. She excuses herself to go order a pumpkin spice latte. When she returns, you ask her how she is doing. She explains that her horse is very ill and that she is terribly worried. Do you say " That's terrible! I can't imagine how you must be feeling. [[pictures]]? I bet he's beatiful like you" or "Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. [[I hope everything works out]].

You choose to stop responding all together. Brittney doesn't seem like a good match for you and you can't see yourself being compatible long term. Maybe you'll go back and [[Open Tinder]]. It's either that or [[give up on it and buy a cat]].

You get a couple texts from Taylor. "Lol, awww, that's so cute. But honestly, like, I'm kinda super busy so... I mean, it's cool if you don't wanna go to the bar but like, I was kind of looking for someone I can have fun with" Thoughts? You're mildly annoyed and you decided to [[stop talking to her]] Or You text back and maybe [[just one drink]] could be fun.

Taylor promptly introduces you to her friend, Candi. Candi offers you a drink. Do [[you accept the drink]] or [[decline the drink]]?

Taylor intoduces you to her friend Candi, who offers you a drink. What do you do? As a result of feeling awkward and uncomfortable [[you accept the drink]] Taylor is clearly very intoxicated and you didn't sign up for that kind of evening. You decline Candi's offer and tell her that you'll be right back. You run out of there as fast as you can. While you acknowledge that Taylor was gorgeous, you decide that it's best that you [[stop talking to her]]

Taylor does not pursue you, but you do see some pretty interesting pictures on instagram the following day that make you thankful that you didn't go out with her. Maybe you'll [[Open Tinder]] again or maybe you'll [[give up on it and buy a cat]]

You end up staying in touch with Taylor and decide to go out and party with her a few more times. You do eventually share an intimate evening, but after that she ghosts you and you never hear from her again. At least you have some interesting stories from the experience. The End 5/6

Candi smiles and compliments you on your attire. You sheepishly thank her and ask how the night is going so far; Candi replies that the night has been pretty fun so far. Taylor looks visably annoyed. Candi excuses herself to go back to the bar. You go to turn the conversation to Taylor when you notice she's walking towards the dance floor. Do you let her [[go ahead]] and wait at the bar or do you [[follow her to the dance floor]]?

"Oh my god Candi you'rrree such a skkaaannkkk" Taylor slurrs, while smiling at you. "Come on", she says. "I just... I need to dance right now". Taylor takes off and disappears onto the crowded dance floor. Do you let her [[go ahead]] and wait at the bar or do you [[follow her to the dance floor]]?

Taylor looks visably annoyed. While dancing, she takes a big sip of her drink and asks, "Do you think Candi's prettier than me?" You think there's no denying that Candi is an attractive girl. This thought evidently came through your facial expression before you could respond and Taylor's expression changes from annoyed and insecure, to pure rage. Do you back away slowly and decide to [[stop talking to her]] or do you comfort her and reassure her that you really like her and [[want to continue spending time with her]]

You wait by the bar, sipping a glass of water the bartender just poured you. You look up and see Taylor's friend Candi approach you. "Not really your scene, huh?" Candi asks you smiling. You sheepishly admit that you're not much of a bar fly. All of a sudden, you see Taylor storming towards you. "WHAT THE HELL! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU TOTALLY JUST DITCHED ME FOR MY FRIEND. YOU'RE SUCH A PIG!", Taylor screams at you, tears beginning to stream down her face. How do you respond? You stand your gound and [[shout back]], "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?! I CAME OUT ALL THIS WAY TO SEE YOU AND YOU'RE A DRUNKEN MESS WHO DITCHED ME" You're in shock. You begin [[apologizing profusely]] and ask her to give you a chance.

Taylor and Candi both look shocked. Taylor, tears rolling down her face, turns around and escapes into the crowded dance floor. Candi asks what your problem is, calls you a jerk and storms off. Do you feel kind of bad for yelling at Taylor? Do you want to [[follow her to the dance floor]] and make amends? Or is Taylor not worth it and do you think that maybe you should give up and [[stop talking to her]]

Taylor storms off onto the crowded dance floor. You look at Candi. Candi motions for you to follow Taylor. "Well go after her", she says. Do you go after Taylor and [[follow her to the dance floor]] or decide that this is a little too much crazy for you and opt to [[stop talking to her]]?

"Really?" Taylor says, her rage subsiding. "Yeah," You say. "I love that you're such a free spirit". "You're the first person who's ever passed the Candi test", Taylor says happily. You spend the rest of the night reassuring Taylor that she's the most beautiful, special girl you've ever met. You spend the rest of your evening dancing with Taylor until she vomits on your shoes. Well. It makes for a good story. You get home around 1am. Maybe you'll [[text Taylor in the morning]] or maybe you'll [[Open Tinder]] and try for another experience.

"OH MY GOD YES. THIS IS PEGASUS" Brittney exclaims excitedly as she pulls out her phone. She proceeds to show you at least 50 pictures. You see pictures of a white horse gazing in a field, pictures of Brittney riding her horse and selfies of Brittney with her horse. "When Pegasus feels better, you totally need to come meet him. You could come trail riding with me and take my other horse Valentino". Do you say "[[Sure! I'd love that]]" or "[[Thanks, but I don't think horseback riding is really my thing]]

Brittney asks if you'd like to see her darling Pegasus. Do you say: "Sure, do you have any [[pictures]]?" Or... Unfortunately there is no polite way out of this one, sorry!

Brittney squeels in excitement and suggests you two go to the barn to visit her precious darlings. You agree and upon arrival, you cross paths with the veterinarian treating Pegasus. It turns out he just caught a chill and just needs a few days to rest. Brittney expresses her relief and happiness. The veterinarian leaves and Brittney shows you around the barn. You meet both horses and find them very charming. You have a prior engagment to attend, but you thank Brittney for the wonderful afternoon and part ways. Do [[you plan on seeing Brittney again]] or do you think you will [[not respond]] if she tries to contact you again?

"But you have to! Come on, once you meet Val, I know you guys will totally hit it off", Brittney protests. You insist that you really don't feel comfortable around horses. Brittney pouts, but you manage to change the subject. After you part ways, she texts you saying that she had a great time and hopes you'll reconsidder "meeting her babies". You decide to [[not respond]]

You and Brittney end up in a long term relationship. She ends up buying you a horse so that you can join her on trail rides more often. Your weekends are spent watching Brittney enter various horse shows and cheering for her from the side lines. She's a little crazy sometimes, but you've grown to love her. The End 6/6