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My friends tell me it's probably for the best that you and I [[aren't]] in each other's lives
that there must be some reason as to why our friendship never became what [[I hoped]] it wouldBut why am I so afraid[[?]]and yet there is this strange longing I have to say a simple 'hi'. This longing is so strange because it's accompanied by [[great fear]].I'm afraid that by the time I muster all the courage I have to say 'hi', it would turn out that you have [[no interest]] in speaking to me.We're not strangers, you and I. Once upon a time, we knew each other far too well.
And yet, we were never really friends. We tried to be, but to each other we were only one letter: [[ex->.]]At one point in time, we had a connection. A [[meaningful]] connection.
And though in retrospect, it looks like a silly teenage hormonal fling, and though <i>I wish</i> it was only that, it has inevitably shaped me to be [[who I am today]].Trust me, I wish it were different.
I sincerely wish I could detach myself from [[everything]] that we went through. They say:
"Be safe!"
"Consent!"
"No means no!"
But they don't tell you that "getting physical" with someone has this [[effect]] on you.And maybe it isn't that way with everyone. Maybe it's just me.
Some people are numb to the emotional and psychological repercussions of [[getting physical]] with someone.I've learned to be realistic and accepting though; I can't just cut myself off from that which makes me who I am.
As does every meaningful moment in my life, you played a big part, good and bad, and it's all now a critical memory that has changed [[the way I look at myself and at others]].Isn't that sad? To know that my life is forever changed, simply because of [[one person]] who is [[no->sad]] longer part of my life?No. I'll tell you [[what's sad]].
My refusal to value myself.
The fact that my insecurities cloud my mind.
The fact that my emotions sway sound judgement.
[[Is this you?]]You refuse to value yourself.
Insecurities cloud your mind.
Emotions sway sound judgement.
[[You got physical]].
Don't underestimate the power of intimacy.
We were made to love. We were created to [[connect]].
You would not want your heart in the wrong hands.
Nor would you want to [[awaken love]] before its time.Don't [[fuck]]Don't fuck [[up]].One person can change everything.
It may only take <i>one time</i> to find that one person.
But if it doesn't, do you <i>really</i> want to [[try again]]?I don't believe that everyone has that [[one person->1]].Getting physical is definitely [[not->connect]] the best way to find them.So I've been told.
<i>end.</i>