Totheboywiththebrowneyes

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//To the boy with the brown eyes,// [[what is this?]]

//With that question in mind i'm assuming you're around a bunch of people right now. That's nice. Like those weekly frat house parties you love so much?// ...how could you forget?// [[I have no idea what this is|no, it can't be]]

//oh come on, are we really going to play that game. Let me guess is Melanie with you? Yes I am that person That person that you chose to fall in lovo with. <div class="gone">Now do you remember?.</div>// [[But I ignored you in hallways]] [[I embarressed you that night of the party]]

//Yeah. Hey, there. I guess you're alone now aren't you? You were clever. Slick. No one noticed, but I did. How could I not? The way// [[I would try to catch a glimpse of you in the hallways]] [[I ran after you at the party]]

//I mean you did. Then you would smirk and laugh whenever I walked by you and your friends. The worst was, you tripping me in the halls, slamming me against the lockers that was all a big joke. [[Ha. Yea that was funny]]

//Was it though? Was it funny to you that ran home crying every night? Was it funny that I thought maybe you could be new friend only to have you publicly humiliate me all the time?// [[oh...]]

//But you know what hurt the most? I still found a way to like you. The chemicals in my brain still found a way to blush to the very sight of your smile. <div class="gone">My heart still found a way to forgive you. each. and. every. time.</div>// [[What the hell is this freak talking about?|Weren't you that person...]]

//Yes. The night of Melanie's party.// [[I remembered you walked through the doors]]

//I only decided to come because I was tired of it. Tired of being pushed around. Tired of being a secret. Tired of being laughed at. So I thought fuck it, let's go. I thought maybe this is the night the boy with the brown eyes would finally decide to fall in love with me.// [[Were you insane]]

//But of course my hopes were held too high. When I entered the door...// [[oh my god, yea this was hilarious]] [[Hope?]]

//I entered Melanie's house in my new outfit, heart bumping out of my chest. and SPLAT// [[HAHAHA]]

//you and your friends drenched me in what tasted like coco-cola from head to toe. I heard yelling I heard chuckling but out of all of that, the most painful sound in that moment was the sound of your laugh.// [[Well it was probably the funniest thing to happen in our senior year]]

//I guess it was funny when I ran out of that house and ran into that cold February night I didn't look back. I didn't know where I was when I stopped. I ran for what seemed like an hour. So how did you find me under the moonlight that night?// [[what-|no, it can't be]]

//Hoping for something or someone is a lot like waiting for Santa during Christmas. [[-There's no point-|Were you insane]]//

//I knew you were Right after 3rd period at my locker that was 9 down from yours. I thought that I was dreaming...// [[you weren't]]

//and what difference did that make? after you humiliated me. hurt me.// [[I'm so sorry]] [[I felt ashamed]]

//every single damn time i would look up, through the crowd for a quick second I could see your brown eyes looking at me <div class="gone"> but only for a quick second.</div> why couldn't you just tell me?// [[I was afraid]] [[I was embarressed]]

//You weren't afraid during those times you would catch me walking home down that deserted alleyway. where you would approach me after throwing me into a locker that day and those words "I'm sorry", would pour from your lips.// [[I really was sorry]]

//I never felt that embarresssment from you when you would meet up with me at the park late at night when no one was around. When you would laugh about last night's episode of Futurama. When you would get so passionate talking about your love for Sofia Coppola's work. // [[I felt so comfortable with you]] [[I fell in love with you]]

//And I knew you really were//[[...|you weren't]]

//from the way you would kiss me on the lips to the way you could hold me from my hips. I felt like I was on top of the world with you. Because you accepted my flaws and perks, and I just wanted to believe the you that you were with me during those times, that that was the real you// [[yeah|...]]

//and so did I.//[[.|I was embarressed]]

//And that's all you were ever able to say to me. sorry. after I ran what felt like an hour you caught me by that tree catching my breath. under the moonlight [[.|I ran after you at the party]]// [[and I kissed you]] [[I held you]]

//you felt ashamed? after what you did to me? My love, I felt ashamed, for falling in love with you. For believing in you [[.|I ran after you at the party]]//

//And I pushed you away. I was tired. Tired of being your secret that you pulled out to play with whenever you felt like it. Tired of getting my heart broken everytime you laughed at me, and tired of getting it repaired each time you kissed me.// [[there was no other way around it]]

//and for the first time I pushed you to the ground. But you could never feel the same pain that you caused me all those months. how dare you think that the touch of your hand could make up for all you had done? I didn't understand your fear, and i never will.// [[there was no other way around it]]

//and under that beautiful moonlight I cried. I cried because how could I let myself love someone like you? some who could never love me the same way. All those words you spouted out at me right there Apoligizes. Lies. Apoligizes.// [[I tried to-]]

//-they meant nothing. <div class="gone">what followed after was silence under that full moon....</div>// [[and you told me to-]]

//I told you to never talk to me again. I told you to leave me alone and let me die alone. Because no one liked me. From your friends. To the people that walked the hallways at school.// [[But i loved you so much that-]]

//did you? So much so that you felt it was better to abuse me than to let people know about me. To protect yourself. But I want to thank you, boy with the brown eyes.// [[silence]]

//Thank you for being that boy that I got to fall in love with and look forward to seeing in that alleyway after school and meet up with at night.// [[but wait...]]

//thank you for loving me and caring for me, even if it was for those brief moments together thank you for being that person I got to dream of having my happily ever after with. even if I knew it was all a lie. Because that was all we were. a lie.// [[No we weren't]]

//There's no point in denying it now. Because all my pain is gone. All those awful memories, and even the beautiful ones, Theyre all gone. <div class="gone">I'm gone from that dreaded place.</div> [[how could you...wait]]

//Let these tears that are shedding from my eyes now be the last I shed for you. I hope you can find your true safe haven. and maybe you can find me here. someday when you get here, to where I am now.// [[Oh no...please...you didn't...]]

//hey there stranger. It's me again// [[no, it can't be]]

//I don't know if you remember me.// [[who the hell?]] [[Weren't you that person...]] [[...]]

//Sincerely, the boy who foolishly fell in love with you.//