Needless to Say... Save the World

"Hello..." [[Hello??]] [[You enter the secret passage]]

"Awfully sorry... where are my manners? My name is Mitchell, but most people just call me Mitch" "HA! Most people call him Mitch the Bitch" "SHUT UPPP!!!!" "Why don't you make me?" [[Uhhh... are you talking to yourself?]]

"Whoops... awfully sorry again, I sometimes get lost in my own thoughts. I guess that's what happens when you're by yourself for most of the day. Anyways... the purpose of this encounter is for me to inform you that the world is coming to an end, and there is only one way to save it." [[And I'm the solution??]]

"FUCK NO!!!" "SHUT UPP!!!" "Again... awfully sorry, I'm not sure where that came from. You see... I'm just a messenger, and should you accept this challenge of saving the world, I will present you this envelope containing your instructions. The only question that remains is, will you accept the challenge?" [[So I am the solution?... Whatever, I guess I'll do it]] [[I think I'll pass]]

You receive the envelope, you then proceed to [[Open it]]

No alternative was found, the world came to an end...

The envelope contains a letter that reads: "Greetings Chosen One, I'm assuming that since you're reading this, you've decided to accept the challenge of saving the world. Let me catch you up to speed on what exactly led to this moment. The year was 2034, and the field of physics was once again the topic of discussion thanks to three brothers commonly referred to as the "Triad of Physics". Many believed that they were full of shit, very few believed in their capabilities. That same year, they had proposed an idea of a single atomic bomb capable of wiping out the entire planet; something you hope is just a nightmare you'll eventually wake up from. Rather scared, the US government shut down all of their projects and thanks to the media, they were perceived as being crazy in the eyes of the public. They were then exiled by the government and forgetten by the people... but they still continued to work on their idea. Fast forward to earlier this year, 2051, word got out that they had completed this atomic bomb from materials they would scavenge. They were arrested, stood trial and were subsequently imprisoned to prevent them from using it. Here's the thing... these guys were far from stupid... they knew something like this would happen; in fact, they had activated a 60-day timer on the bomb right before getting incarcerated. The issue here is that only they know what the kill switch is. To make matters worse, 17 years of being exiled from the population actually did make them a bit crazy... ok maybe they went ape-shit crazy, but hey, I guess the media was right all these years?? From what we know, they are willing to comply and provide the kill switch for the bomb, however they have one simple request, they will only give it to someone willing to journey through their mind." You then [[turn the page]]

" Oh shit... I forgot to mention, only those who journey through their mind correctly will receive the kill switch. Before you even think about asking "wHaT's ThE cOrReCt JoUrNeY??", no one knows what the fuck these guys want... Many have tried and all have failed. Sooo... I know you're probably thinking "I thought you said I was the chosen one", well... I lied, but I needed you to read beyond my opening line and assuming you're reading this, I guess it worked. Anyways, I've included a map of where to go, oh... and good luck, we're counting on you." You then [[read the map]] to pinpoint your destination

You realize that you don't even have a driving permit, so you weigh your options to reach your destination: [[Taxi]] [[Uber]] [[Free ride since you're saving the world]]

Starting fare is $50 now.... FUCK THAT!

You call for an Uber, but six drivers end up getting lost... Needless to say... FUCK THAT!!!

You search up the address and find a phone number online, thank god for Google. It turns out to be a correctional facility, but for some reason you feel your call was directed to an overseas call center. Despite these concerns, you [[demand a free ride to the facility]]

The girl who answered your call was in all honesty a complete bitch... but after speaking to someone... not sure who... she finally sent someone to come and [[pick you up]]

You hop out of the car, and immediately get hoodwinked. Two big SOBs grab a hold of you, but because 'mama didn't raise no bitch' you fight back. You hit one low and the punch the other in the throat. Rather intimidated, they attempt to knock you out using an old sock drenched in chloroform. The last thing you recall is them placing a bag over your head and dragging you away... [[looks like the chloroform worked]]

You wake up sitting in a chair, no restraints or anything... hell whoever kidnapped you even put out refreshments. Some pompous asshole enters the room and says "wakeup sunshine" You're really tempted to punch his teeth down his throat, but the big tattoo on his forehead makes you wonder if he's willing to fuck up his face with an ugly tattoo... [[does he really give a shit about a couple of teeth???|does he really give a shit about a couple teeth???]]

You try to hear this guy out, but he won't shut the fuck up about his accomplishments in life... I guess that's how he makes up for that horrendous tattoo. You finally reach your breaking point... [[Excuse me... where the hell am I??]]

He smiles and says, "You're here to save the world!" [[So... why would you knock me out with cloroform??? Doesn't that waste more time??]]

"I guess it takes a bit longer, but this place is top secret, we had to do what we had to do" [[The world is coming to an end and protecting this piece of shit was your top priority?]]

"Look, this is the only place I have left in..." [[SHUT UP AND TELL ME WHY I'M HERE]]

"WOOOOWWW... and they say I'm an ass? Anyways if you enter through the rusty blue door, you will find the three brothers in different, but connected cells. For this to work you have to speak to them individually and entertain whatever they tell you. No one knows what happens if you past their test, so the rest is in your hands, good luck!" [[You enter through the rusty blue door]] [[Begin to roast this guy for being such a tool]]

You roast that stupid tattoo on his forehead for hours. No one ends up obtaining the kill switch from the brothers and... Needless to say... the world ends.

"Don't read too loud... we wouldn't want you to get hurt" [[So what exactly do you want me to do?]]

"Excuse me, I'm trying to meditate, why are you interrupting me?" [[Look man... I just need the kill switch]]

"What's going on?" [[Well, I'm trying to save the world... so I guess that]]

Congratulations!... either you have spoken to each of the brothers, or accidentally scrolled down while reading the opening page. Regardless, you manage to find a key that just so happens to open the cell containing the three brothers. You then decide to: [[Open the cell]] [[Throw away the key because who knows what else is in there]]

"WOOW... I see... the world is ending and you have an attitude? You're not really off to a good start sweetheart" [[I'm sorry, please tell me what I need to do]] [[Sweetheart... who the hell do I look like to you?]]

"That's more like it... now I'm going to tell you some jokes... my kind of jokes, let's see how many you're able to understand... my advice, keep an open mind" [[I'm ready when you are]]

You both argue for hours and hours. Needless to say... the world ends

"Ok... what came first, the chicken or the egg?" [[Chicken]] [[Egg]] [[Trick Question??]]

"Where would the chicken come from if there was no egg??... You're clearly too simple minded for this task" Michael refuses to tell you any other jokes Needless to say... the world ends.

"So what would have laid the egg??... You're clearly too simple minded for this task" Michael refuses to tell you any other jokes Needless to say... the world ends.

"You're damn right... the rooster came first" [[I like that, what else do you have for me?]] [[WOOOWWW... so that's what we're doing now?]]

"I knew you'd like that. Alright then, I have another one for you: If money doesn't grow on trees, then why do banks have branches?" [[That's very annoying to think about]] [[Son of a bitch... I never thought about that... It's still annoying, but I see what you're saying]]

"WOOOWWWW... looks like you lost your opportunity to hear more jokes" Needless to say... the world ends.

"I see... I guess I won't tell you any more jokes since I'm being annoying" Needless to say... the world ends.

"Don't worry I was very annoyed when I heard that for the first time. I have one last joke, let's hope it's not too offensive: Why are most hurricanes names after women?" [[I actually have no idea...]] [[Not sure if I like where this is going]]

"Because they come through wet and wild and leave with half of your shit" [[I think I might have to use that once or twice]] [[I think I might actually hate you]]

"Well I'm not sure if I want to give you the kill switch... goodbye!" Needless to say... the world ends.

"Wow, you're the first person to hear me out without getting too offended... good job! Now you see I only have a part of the kill switch, but you've impressed me enough to earn my part, congratulations!" Out of nowhere a piece of paper flies out of Michael's small window, you: [[Pick it up and open it]] [[Use it to spit out your gum]]

"Well then I hate you too... good luck finding the the kill switch" Needless to say... the world ends.

The paper seems like it was intentionally torn apart. You realize you have what seems to be the left side of a sheet of ruled paper. The paper reads: "Scroll down to the" The statement seems very incomplete, but you remember that Michael claimed to only have a portion of the kill switch, so you proceed to [[speak to another one of the brothers|You enter through the rusty blue door]]

Now why would you make it this far and then use it to spit out your gum... I mean you're in a prison, just spit it out on the floor. But you wasted your chance to help save the world... Needless to say... the world ends.

"I see... so what can do for me?" [[Well, you're listed as the genius so what did you have in mind?]] [[I have $20 and a pack of gum]]

"How about I pose some questions and we'll see if you can answer them for me?" [[I guess I have no choice]]

"First of all, in case you haven't realized, the year is 2051, inflation has made your $20 nearly worthless. Second of all, are you trying to say my breath smells?... goodluck getting the kill switch from me" Needless to say... the world ends.

"You're damn right, first question: What goes up but never comes down?" [[Helium?]] [[Inflation?]]

"That's such a basic answer... and FYI if you contain helium in something denser than air, it can be brought back down... so you're wrong and I'm not impressed" He moved away from the window and refused to say another word to you Needless to say... the world ends.

"I wasn't thinking about that, but I like where you're going, good job! Next question: The hypothalamus is said to be in charge of regulating the four F's of motivation, the first three are: flee, fight, forage. What is the last F?" [[No idea]] [[Ummm... fuck???]]

"I see... you're too simple-minded, looks like you won't be getting the kill switch from me any time soon" He disappears and never responds to your voice again... Needless to say... the world ends.

"Get your head out of your ass... the fourth F was fornicate... But I guess both mean the same thing, so I'll let you pass this time around" [[Phew... thank god]] [[Ok, let's be real... who actually uses the word fornicate on a daily basis??]]

"I'm kind of getting tired of you... but you're still better than most of the idiots that enter through those doors, so I guess you've passed my test. I should tell you that I don't have the entire kill switch, but I do have a portion of it. Regardless... Congratulations on passing my test!" Out of nowhere a piece of paper flies out of Marvin's small window, you: [[Catch it]] [[Let it fall on the floor]]

"I do... If we're being real, I'm not sure I should let you continue" Rather pissed off, he turns his back never to return Needless to say... the world ends.

The paper seems like it was intentionally torn apart. You realize you have what seems to be the middle of a sheet of ruled paper. The paper reads: "bottom of the" The statement seems very incomplete, but you remember that Marvin claimed to only have a portion of the kill switch, so you proceed to [[speak to another one of the brothers|You enter through the rusty blue door]]

Well that's kind of stupid, why would you come this far to leave the kill switch on the floor? Needless to say... the world ends.

"I'll be honest... I'm not as much of a pain in the ass like my brothers. But for the sake of saving my ass from them, I still have to ask you a question. Oh and before I forget, I only have a portion of the kill switch, but I guess some of it is better than none" [[You're right, go right ahead|Go right ahead]] [[I'm getting tired of all this shit]]

"Here goes nothing: It was the morning of Mike's grade 12 GRADUATION, and his BIG BROTHER came into his room and said "GOOD MORNING". He was elected as valedictorian after becoming his school's karate CHAMPION and being voted most likable at his HOMECOMING. Mike had been working diligently on his speech after being inspired by baseball legend BARRY BONDS. Instead of talking about money and the DRUNK AND HOT GIRLS that come with it, he decided to dedicate his speech to those that made him STRONGER. He knew that all of THE GLORY he experienced in life was due to his supportive family. He was appreciative for the GOOD LIFE that he lived and often found himself thinking "I WONDER if I have had the same impact on my family's life as they have had on mine." Fast forward five hours later in the day, it was time for Mike's speech, the FLASHING LIGHTS were on him and he was beyond nervous to give his speech. In his opening line, he mentioned that "EVERYTHING I AM is because of my family and without them I don't know where I would be". He brought tears to the eyes of many and concluded by stating "Everything in my life was earned and after this, no one CAN'T TELL ME NOTHING." This passage contains the title and songs of my favourite music album of all time, what is it?" [[This sounds familiar]] [[I don't listen to music]]

"WOOWW... I said I'm not as much of a pain in the ass... that doesn't mean I'm not one at all" You made him upset and he never spoke to you again, Needless to say... the world ends.

"I'll give you a big hint... the artist is Kanye West, what is the album?" [[College Dropout]] [[Late Registration]] [[Graduation]]

"Well I guess I don't have to listen to you either, goodbye!" Needless to say... the world ends.

"When did you hear me say College Dropout during my story??" You really pissed him off!... Needless to say... the world ends.

"When did you hear me say Late Registration during my story??" You really pissed him off!... Needless to say... the world ends.

"You're welcome for the hint, but you never asked for it and you did answer my question... so I guess you pass my test, congratulations!" Matthew slides you a folded piece of paper which you: [[Open]] [[Slide right back to him]]

The paper seems like it was intentionally torn apart. You realize you have what seems to be the right side of a sheet of ruled paper. The paper reads: "very first page" The statement seems very incomplete, but you remember that Matthew claimed to only have a portion of the kill switch, so you proceed to [[speak to another one of the brothers|You enter through the rusty blue door]]

Are you trying to save the world or no?? Whatever... Needless to say... the world ends.

It's dark... very dark... but you still [[enter the cell]]

I mean you're trying to save the world, stop treating the cell like Schrodinger's cat experiment! Needless to say... the world ends.

You walking seemed to activate a light switch inside... When you inspect the cell, it seems... well... [[empty]]

All of a sudden, you hear a voice... the voice seems familiar... but [[not that of the three brothers]]

"Awfully sorry, where are my manners?" [[MITCHHH??!!!!!]]

"The Bitch" "SHUTT UPPP" [[It's actually Mitch... son of a bitch]]

"I bet you probably weren't expecting me?" [[Who... What... Where... EXPLAIN EVERYTHING RIGHT NOW!!]]

"Well, you made it this far, so I guess you've earned an explanation. You see there never really was a crisis. If you paid close attention earlier on, you would have remembered me saying that I sometimes get lost in my thoughts. In fact, these three brothers were just alter egos of mine... well... they do somewhat portray my real self, but that's not the point. Everything else that happened was all just apart of my grand scheme... I mean did you really think a supposed top-level correctional facility would hire someone with a tattoo on their face?? Hell... this place closed down 20 years ago. Now you probably want to kick my ass... but I would suggest that you hold onto that idea. Remember in the letter you received where I explained the severity of the bomb?" [[Sure...]]

"Well, I also mentioned that this bomb is the type of thing that you wish was all just a nightmare... right?" [[I guess]]

"Well... that's all this entire experience is... just one large nightmare. All you have to do is wake-up!" [[An alarm goes off]]

Well... What are you waiting for?... It's time to wake up!

When you enter the room, you see a large cell with three small windows. If we're being honest, it looks like three large lockers were taken and merged together. The weirdest part is that no one could be seen inside of the large cell. Above each window had a description, which you assume is to distinguish which brother you're speaking to. They read: [[Michael - "The Joker"]] [[Marvin - "The Genius"]] [[Matthew - "The Riddler"]] You also find a portal that takes you [[back to the very first page |Untitled Passage]]