Dating Simulator

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>>>>>>>Welcome to the Online Dating Simulator Beta This service was designed to provide the user with the upmost entertainment and pleasure without leaving the comfort of your own home. Feel free to choose from a variety of computer generated AI's as they entrance you into a riveting [[experience]]. Be warned, the AI's are not aware that they are computer software. WARNING: Content can be explicit at times but rest assured none of it is true.

Welcome <<if $name is "Adam">> <<else>> $name. <</if>> Please choose from the following: ---------------------- Hi my name is [[Jake]]. Bonjour, I am [[Jacqueline]]. [[Rue]] here, and daaaamn you one fine looking sugga. Hola, my name is [[Lisa]].

Age: 22 Ethnicity: White Eye colour: Blue Hair colour: Dark Brown Height: 6.1" Build: Athletic Hobby: Building model planes Still [[interested]]?

Age: 19 Ethnicity: Mexican Eye colour: Green Hair colour: Black Height: 5.8" Build: Hourglass Favorite drink: Strawberry Milkshake Want to find out [[more]]?

Age: 57 Ethnicity: African American Eye colour: Brown Hair colour: Black Height: 5.2" Build: Hourglass Talent: Hip hop Lacking that sweet [[honey]]?

Age: 20 Ethnicity: French Eye colour: Blue Hair colour: Black Height: 6.2" Build: Skinny Talent: Has been playing violin for 16 years Have you been [[charmed]]?

Hey! Jake here! What's up! Feeling a bit bored eh? Cool. I dig it. Well let me entertain you a bit... ugh where do I start. I guess I can tell you what I like to do for fun! I love to sit back and read a nice book. Nah I am just messin. I am usually out drinking and EDM clubs are the sh**. You reachin Osheaga this year? It's gonna be live! I have a special talent...I can balance ... wait for it... a bottle of [[beer]] on my nose while singing O'Canada. I know. I am pretty talented. Want to play a drinking game? Everytime I say SHOT... guess what we do? That's right. We take a SHOOOOOOT~ Okay ready? [[shot]] >[[shot]] >>[[shot]] >>>[[shot]] >>>>[[shot]]

Hi there! I wonder why you decided to pick me? Is it my green eyes? Probably not, I mean you can't really see me. Maybe you made a mistake. Here you can go talk to one of my other co-[[employees]]. ... You haven't clicked it yet. I swear, I am not worth it. Just click it. I am not fun. Maybe you will find [[Jake]] more fun! I heard [[Rue]] is super sassy! ... umm... ... Okay. You aren't leaving huh. I guess we can [[talk]].

Unfortunately, Jacqueline has been offline for 48 hours. Due to her inactivity this profile will be terminated shortly. We apologize for any inconvenience. Please feel free to grab yourself a complimentary guide to Paris. >>><img src="http://anitahendrieka.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/A-Guide-To.png" /> If you are unable to access the guide above please press the following [[link]].

ANOTHER ONE! [[shot]]. Keep pressing it. Let's see how many we can take. Trust me, it will be fun! Did you find it? <img src="http://polarice.ca/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/polar-ice-vodka-recipes-PolarBear-mobile.png" /> >Vision getting hazy yet? >>Slurring your words yet? >>>Try to stand up, did you fall over? >>>>Want another one? >>>>>Doesn't it feel so good? >>>>>><img src="http://polarice.ca/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/polar-ice-vodka-recipes-PolarBear-mobile.png" /> Alcohol eh? Marvelous thing. [[Jake]]

Beer is made from four basic ingredients: Barley, water, hops and yeast. The basic idea is to extract the sugars from grains (usually barley) so that the yeast can turn it into alcohol and CO2, creating beer. Just kidding, this isn't a science lesson. My [[dad's]] favorite drink was beer...

He loved Budweiser. Drank a bottle for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Sometimes he'd have one on the way to work. Told me it helped him think... Told me it helped get him through his sh** job. Told me it helped him deal with my mom. I still don't get it... [[Why]]... I was only 12... Sorry! I didn't mean to talk about my past. LETS DO SOME MORE SHOTS! [[shot]]

No. I don't want to talk about it... We just met... I mean do you even [[care]]? Maybe it's not too late to go back yet? Maybe you can talk to someone else? One of my fellow [[employees]]? I don't mind. I'll just do another [[shot]].

Oh... You are still here. Ummm... I was 12 when... sorry it's still so hard for me. Want a [[shot]]? Guess not... Okay I guess you do care. I was 12. I was just coming back from school. It was 2:30 pm on a monday. I missed my bus that day, so I had to trudge the 30 minute walk to my house. I remember it so vividly. I turned the corner, earphones in listening to Never Too Late by Three Days Grace - sirens blarring as background bass. His body was motionless. His skin pale. The scene blurry as my eyes filled with tears. "DAAAAD!!!!" He didn't flinch. They put him into the ambulance and sped off. I ran for my bike round back, through my backpack on the lawn, and stalked the ambulance up until the highway entrance. My face flushed, my eyes blood shot, my legs weak, I fell. I [[lay]] there. Unable to accept what just happened.

Still here huh? I guess I'll finish. Less than 12 hours go by. My mom and I sit outside the emergency room eagerly anticipating the worst. My mom unable to say a word since she got home. Her eyes worn, her dress tattered, and her glasses smudged with her dirty finger prints. The doctor came out. Clipboard in one hand, mask in the other. "I am sorry ma'am.." he began. I felt the ground fall beneath me. I watch my frail mother scream and cry while she tugs the doctor's long hospital coat. I watch her wrap her skinny hands around his feet. "Your husband's liver failed from alcoholism." Meanwhile, I sit there. Unable to react. Empty. My hands lose circulation and turn pale blue, my eyes begin to shutter back and forth as I stare at the flickering fluorescent lights. Suddenly, everything went black. I remember waking up in a hospital bed. My mother passed out on the chair next to me, her head resting on my hand. The doctor told me I passed out from shock. I guess that's [[it]].

You know... I've never told any of this to anyone before. It has been a heavy burden to carry and with my new step dad, mom hasn't been herself. I guess she is doing it for the money. Since dad passed away 10 years ago my mom hasn't been able to support us and two years after she remarried. A douche bag. A snob. Filthy guy. But a guy with money. I guess that's all that really mattered huh? Mom. I remember one day I forgot my lunch and came home for lunch. I was in highschool then. In a rush to make myself a quick lunch and bike back, I bolt to the kitchen and prepare a PB & J sandwich. Her face was half visible through the guest bathroom mirror. She didn't notice me. I watched her apply makeup under her eye, hiding the thick purple bruises. I see her wipe away one single tear. She conceals her neck with powder to hide the strangle marks. Mom. I watch her practice a few fake smiles in the mirror. I jolt as I see her leaving the washroom and pretend I saw nothing. Mom... You were so strong. Mom... It hurts. Mom... I wish you didn't leave me... I wish I didn't lose you too. Mom... I miss your hugs. Sorry. I have to go. Thank you for listening. I hope one of the [[employees]] is free. Goodbye.

I am sorry. You see... I don't really talk to people that often. I mean I only signed up for this because I thought it would help me make new friends. I've never really dated anyone before... I am usually at home helping mom. She stays home all day cooking. I think she might write a cookbook. I love her desserts. Rice pudding... Flan... Cajeta... omgosh this one is my favorite. Heh I guess you can tell that I have quite a sweet tooth. Daddy has spoiled me since I was a little girl. He used to bring me pasteries from his office. I loved my mom and dad. I was happy with how things were. Simple and peaceful. It wasn't till last year. Things [[changed]]. ...

Oh no. I can't talk about it. I am sorry. This is so quick. I barely know you. I mean you could be a total creep. > Sorry! Maybe that was rude. It's just I don't have many friends irl, I mean in real life. I've never really spent time growing up with other kids. Daddy always told me that it was [[dangerous]].

Ok. Maybe I can tell you. BUT YOU HAVE TO SWEAR... DO IT. Put your hand on your heart and swear you won't tell anyone. ... Did you do it? I am going to trust you... I hope you did it. Last year, I was suppose to sleep over at my changas. The girls from school invited me to their house for an end of the year party and told me going home drunk would be a bad idea. I never drank before. Honestly, this was the first time I went to anyone's house before. I told my mom that I was going over to finish an end of the year project. It was easy to convince her, I mean I was top of my class. I had plenty of time to study... since I was never allowed out. Anyway, things were going [[well]].

I came dressed in my favorite coral dress. I contoured my lips with thick red lipstick and pinched my cheeks to add some colour. In the first 10 minutes, 3 boys from our highschool hit on me and it felt pretty good. I was finally fitting in. I am getting a little uncomfortable actually. I am [[sorry]]. Can we talk about something [[else]]?

... Um... So the weather was pretty weird today, right? This is awkward... I think I am going to go. Thank you for talking to me <3 [[Lisa]]

Why do I say sorry so much? I guess I don't want to feel like a burden. I think I can trust you. You've stayed around this long... So, as I was saying, 3 boys from our highschool hit on me and it felt pretty good. I was finally fitting in with people in my grade. Maybe I would make some friends I thought. I saw Juan. He was my highschool crush. We've been friends since middle school but I could never tell him how I felt. I remember him coming over with a drink in each hand. He looked in my eyes, smiled, and passed me the drink in his right. My face burned, I wasn't sure if it was from blushing or the alcohol. I think I had 3 shots of tequila and one rum and coke by then. I sipped slowly. I wanted to make every second last with Juan. I fixated my gaze on his curly black hair, and his perfectly sharp lips. Suddenly, I felt my legs go numb. I panicked but luckily Juan caught me. He held me in his arms. He was so warm. I was [[happy]].

He told me he would drive me home. He lifted my right arm over his shoulders and helped me wobble to get my jacket. I began to lose feeling in my upper thighs. We had made it to his car. He gently placed me in the back seat. I had no control of my arms at this point. My body was limp. Is this what being drunk feels like? I remember him shutting the door and going around to the drivers seat. He thrust the key into the ignition, I heard the engine rumble, and we drove off. It was dark, I began to count each streetlight as we drove,1,2,3,4, unable to figure out where we were. I tried asking him but nothing came out. I had no control of my lips. The most I could manage was periodically blinking my eyes. My face felt heavy. Every muscle of my body felt senseless. We came to a stop. It was silent for a while. I remember Juan leaving the drivers seat and coming around to the back door. I guess we were home. He opened the door. He placed his left hand on my hip and his right on my throat. I began to feel a lump at the back of my throat. I began to shiver. I fought with my body to move. Push him off. What was happening? Kick him in the balls I yelled at myself. [[Nothing]].

You know how they tell you.."your first time should be with someone special." I guess it was with someone special. It was with Juan, my middle school crush...the boy I idolized. I guess it was special. It was the first time I felt useless, unable to say no, unable to stop him from tearing apart my favorite coral dress, unable to stop him from thrusting his ... I ..am.. sorry. It was the first time I felt like God didn't exist. The first time I felt like no one cared enough to rescue me. The first time I got... >>Raped ... I ne..eed som..ee alone time. Please. One of my [[employees]] should be free.

Hey baby, sugga plum, sweet pea. How you doin'? What brings you here? Looking for some thunda? Let me tell you a little about who I am. My name is Rue, you know, like from hunger games. Heh that one always gets me. On my free days I teach hip hop at the near by community center. Them stanky preteens don't even see it coming. You should see me do a head spin, gotta take my hoops out though. Ain't no fun when yo' hair get caught. You dig? I'aint one to mess with, I got me three kids. Jarod Jessica Jasmine I love the letter [[J]]. You wanna know why?

Just sayin' I am joshin' you Jammin' man Jokin'? Not me [[Jazzman]] You feel. These are my everyday things. Nothing wrong with some J in your life. Gotta learn to live in the moment child. Take things for what they are and make due. Ain't no bad situation like the one in yo' head. Believe me honey, I've been there. Learn to [[preach]] my little sugga plum.

You are in charge of how you feel and today you should choose happiness. Child tell me... is this you now? <img src="https://vignette2.wikia.nocookie.net/victorious/images/6/6e/Funny-gif-happy-clapping-computer.gif/revision/latest?cb=20120929164856" /> Don't be shy. Let me see you jammin'. <img src="https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/58/5b/bd/585bbdd252eeba28d0b2280d4522c4ac.gif" /> That's more like it. <img src="https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/99/11/eb/9911eb1eb17bb5c59e683f18c05b7ebc.gif" /> I am just... so proud. Look at you. Bet you ain't bored no more. I feel maybe you are ready. Why don't you see where the real [[business]] at.

Henry. That was my dear husband's name. Oh look at me gettin' ahead of my self again. You ain't got time to listen to me ramble on about this. How about I introduce you to hip hop instead? Just keep your arms and hands nice and loose at your sides, staying relaxed as you start to move to the music. Rock your hips. When you're dancing hip hop, it's important to get your hips into it. You'll need to move those hips to the right, to the left, to the front, or to the back along with the flow of the music. Let me show you [[child]]?

<img src="https://media.tenor.com/images/37a7adee5bca77ad3bf87aeeff5c6a1f/tenor.gif" /> YOU FELL FOR IT! HAHA BONJOUR MON AMI. I am Jacqueline. That was trés funny. One moment. Let me catch my breath. ... I am sorry mon chéri. That was just my little way of pulling a how you say "prank" in your language. [[So]]

I guess I should share a little about myself? Well, you could probably tell, I am bilingual and I LOVE practical jokes. Everyone is so serious in my industry. It is always don't smile, don't laugh, you are smiling too wide, your laugh looks staged, tuck in your stomach, place your arm there, move your hand there.. UGH I am so fatigue of this industry. But alas, I moved away from Paris to pursue my career as a Hollywood model. Sounds a bit silly? Well tres bein. I love being silly. My favorite thing to do on weekends is finger paint in my [[studio apartment]].

Let me take a picture for you! >>>>>>><img src="http://www.drkarchitects.com/assets/elegant-art-studio-loft-apartment-dream-apartment-amsterdam-abu-dhabi-dubai-rsd-travelcouk.jpg" /> Sorry for the quality. I haven't had a chance to upgrade my phone. I only moved to Hollywood 2 months ago and finding a good modeling gig has been stressant. I think my apartment is cute. It isn't big like other places but it has character. You see that painting in the corner? Right there! To the right side. Do you like it? Oh what's [[this]]!

Ahhh sorry... one second... just have to... oh.. okay... yes... Really! Oh, seigneur! Mon ami! I have just been offered a contract with the HMMLA modeling agency! I must go! Quickly! They are already asking me on the set! Sorry to cut this visit short. Help yourself to anything in the [[fridge]]. I am just going to get ready! Be right back.

>>>>><img src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ds40trdOcgE/VPXkqUVN5lI/AAAAAAAAicg/GtXzupDkWhw/s1600/inside%2Bmy%2Bfridge.jpg" /> >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>... >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>[[Allo]]

Which dress should I wear! <img style="float: right; margin: 0px 0px 15px 15px;" src="https://media.frenchconnection.com/ms/fcuk/71hgs_summerwhite/768/0/cornell-solid-shift-dress.jpg?404=fcuk/71hgs.jpg" /> <img src="https://media.frenchconnection.com/ms/fcuk/71hbv.jpg?height=768&width=0" /> AH! Look at the time. Do you want to tag along? [[Yes]] [[No|employees]]

Hello, your name is? <<textbox "$name" "">> When you're ready, click to see our wonderful [[employees]].

Taxi! Taxi! <img src="http://www.themagicinpixels.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/streets-4-121.jpg" /> Ahh there are never any taxis around when you need them! [[Bonjour!]]

<img src="http://i4.mirror.co.uk/incoming/article7777288.ece/ALTERNATES/s615/PROD-Man-looking-in-the-rear-view-mirror-while-driving-the-car.jpg" /> 8744 Holloway Dr please and [[step]] on it!

You know...I've only been here for a few months but I miss home. Nothing compares to the streets of Paris. The people, the food, the lights...it is truly the city of love. You ever been? My favorite place in Paris was near my parents suite. I used to walk there in the evenings when I needed some time for myself. I remember the warm crimson glow of the street lamps that illuminated the old bridge, lined with a fence full of locks. People came from all over the world to lock away their secrets. It was silly, I mean it was only sentimental. When you were lucky, you could catch the sunsets over the city. They covered Paris in a veil of gorgeous colours that only enhanced the romantic atmosphere. The water would refract an array of rich colours like orange, red, yellow, blue, purple, and pink. Oh! I actually might have a picture on my crappy phone. Hold on a [[sec]].

<img src="http://www.parischerie.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/2-Pont-des-Arts-x468.jpg" /> Sorry my screen is kind of small. Look at that! We just arrived. Aw I guess I don't have a chance to tell you about my first kiss... Maybe another time! Have a wonderful evening! Bon nuit. [[...|employees]]