Paroxysm

//Shit! I can’t remember a damn thing!// You lean against a nearby tree and wonder what you should do now. [[Start walking somewhere->Start walking]] or [[stay where you are]].

You get up and start heading in a general direction. You have no idea where you are going. The trees all look the same. All of a sudden you [[smell]] something.

You continue running towards the smell, feeling as though you’re heading deeper and deeper into the forest. You wonder if you should turn around, when you come to a sudden [[halt]].

You wake up with a start. Your heart is racing faster than you’ve ever thought possible. Sweat covers your body like a second layer. As your eyes begin to adjust, you move into a seated position and slowly begin to take in your surroundings. [[//Where am I?//->Trees]]

You are surrounded by trees, never seeming to end as they stretch up towards a dark sky. //These are like the ones I usually see when I’m hiking. That means I am still in Portland. But how did I get out here?// [[//The last thing I remember is…//->.]]

. .. ... .... [[A moment passes->Shit]]

[[Cookies?]]

The scent of fresh baked chocolate chip cookies hits you like a wall. //That must mean people are nearby! They should be able to help me.// You run in the direction of the smell for what seems like forever. You force yourself to stop for a moment to rest, as you are growing increasingly dizzy. [[Continue running towards smell->Continue]] or [[go a different way]].

<audio src="https://www.dropbox.com/s/0c36my1dam3unbd/121565__juskiddink__dogs-growling.wav?dl=1" autoplay> </audio> There standing in front of you with teeth bared ready to pounce, is a wild dog. You stare at it a moment longer, a nagging feeling in the pit of your stomach. It growls at you viciously, snapping you from your thoughts and sending you sprinting in the [[opposite direction]].

The dog rushes after you, nipping at your heels. You speed up, your feet propelling you forward. Once you think you've lost the dog, you slow down only to have your foot to [[snag on something]], causing you to trip.

Picking up your pace you make a sharp left. When you feel as though the dog is no longer nearby you slow down, only to trip over an exposed tree root. Air rushes past your face as you sail towards the ground, shock overtaking your body’s reactions. Your face [[slams into the ground]].

Turning right you continue running. Once you no longer hear the sounds of the dog’s barks in the distance, you [[slow down to a walk.]]

You turn around, hoping you’re headed towards the edge of the forest instead of deeper within it. After a while, you take a step and feel something poke your foot. //[[Huh? Have I been barefoot this whole time?]]//

Looking down you see an IV filled with a clear liquid. //What is this doing out here?// //Is this from a hospital?// //[[That must mean civilization is that way!]]// or //[[I must have escaped from the hospital and that’s why I’m out here in the forest.]]//

With your energy rejuvenated you sprint off towards civilization. Time passes and you’re still going. You feel something poke your foot. //[[Huh?]]//

You turn around and head back the way you came, hoping to get far from the hospital. //I may not remember why I left, but I’m sure it was a good reason.// [[Time passes.]]

You stumble back in shock, seeing an IV, filled with a clear liquid, laying on the ground. //[[Didn’t I just—]]//

<audio src="https://www.dropbox.com/s/0c36my1dam3unbd/121565__juskiddink__dogs-growling.wav?dl=1" autoplay> </audio> Before you can finish your thought you hear growling followed by barking off in the distance. The sound of paws hitting the forest floor, reaches your ears. //Shit. That does not sound good.// As soon as the wild dog comes into view, you sprint off in the other direction. On the right you see a fluffy little rabbit hopping by. //Aw!// Suddenly a fox runs by. Its jaws snatch the rabbit up. //Oh no!// On the left you see a young white-tailed fawn snagging a few blades of grass into its mouth, before skipping off into the trees. You make a [[left->left2]] or [[right->right2]].

You hear a slight rustling on your side and before you get a chance to look up— **[[CRASH]]**

You’re tackled by a wild dog. You’re pinned to the ground, its teeth snapping inches from your face. Its saliva spraying your face. You [[thrash]] about, trying to free yourself from the dog's grasp.

The dog falls to the side and you scramble to your feet. You scurry away, as quickly as you can. To the right you hear what appears to be someone sobbing. //I hope they’re not hurt// Towards the left you hear what appears to be laughter and for a moment feel a chuckle make its way through you. Trying to throw the dog off your path, you decide to turn [[left->left3]] or [[right->right3]].

Leaning back against a nearby tree, you wait. [[Thoughts]] float through your head.

//How did I get here?// //Why am I out here?// //Is someone looking for me?// So many thoughts converge in your mind at once that you become exhausted and [[fall asleep]].

<audio src=" https://www.dropbox.com/s/5xoreigwfzzhhg7/368453__sierrahwills__leavesrustling.mp3?dl=1" autoplay> </audio> **Rustle** **Rustle** You wake up feeling groggy. **Rustle** **Rustle** You head [[hits a rock]], jolting you awake.

With a splitting headache, you look up and realize you’re being dragged. A wild dog has your ankle trapped within its jaws, pulling you along. Engulfed with fear, you use your other foot and [[kick]] the dog’s face, until it drops your ankle.

With adrenaline pumping in your veins you [[run away.]]

<audio src="https://www.dropbox.com/s/lb2ns2ihx6fnqxt/Zebrat_-_05_-_Bewilderment2.wav?dl=1" autoplay loop> </audio> <div class=Title> (set: $Title to (text-style: "smear")) $Title[Paroxysm] </div> [[Begin]]

Looking around you wonder where exactly you are and if you’re making any leeway towards getting out of the forest. Your foot [[kicks something]] causing a rattling sound. <audio src="https://www.dropbox.com/s/8j0zz6cpbz06wca/179009__smartwentcody__pill-bottle-rattle.wav?dl=1" autoplay> </audio>

Bending down you pick up an orange bottle with a white cap. The bottle is filled with yellow pills. Turning the bottle over you see your name. //These are prescribed to me?// You look closer and read the word Trileptal on the label, but the rest is smudged. Shaking the pills around, //I wonder what would happen if I took one?// You [[open the cap]] and stare at the pills.

<audio src="https://www.dropbox.com/s/8j0zz6cpbz06wca/179009__smartwentcody__pill-bottle-rattle.wav?dl=1" autoplay loop> </audio> //Maybe later.// You put the pills in your pocket and move along, the rattling of the pills marking your every step. All of a sudden goosebumps erupt over your arms and legs. You look around, but see nothing that could cause such a reaction. Glancing at the ground you notice snow covering the forest floor. //Ah I must be cold that’s where the goosebumps came from// But you don’t truly believe that as you don’t feel the cold that should be existent with snow fall. You hear [[a twig snap]] ahead.

As you look up you see the dog again, a German Shepard you realize. It growls slightly, but you no longer feel afraid. You walk around it, hoping it will follow along as you’d enjoy the company. Instead of following along the German Shepard [[tackles]] you to the ground.

You shake the dog off and continue walking, only to be tackled again. Feeling frustrated you get up and [[yell a sharp No!]] at the dog or [[push the dog around playfully]] telling it to stop.

She lets out a whine and jerks back slightly. Turning around you [[continue walking->mother]], the dog following quietly behind.

Her tail begins to wag instantly as you both wrestle around on the ground for a bit, your laughter filling the air. Eventually, you stop and continue on your path. Noticing the dog isn’t following, you look back. She is gently pawing the ground and looking in the opposite direction. Smiling you [[beckon her forward->mother]]. Letting out a low whine she follows your lead.

You don’t seem like you’re getting anywhere as you move through the forest. Suddenly, you begin to [[hear a voice.]]

“The most merciful thing in the world, I think, is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents.” You slowly begin to recognize the voice as your mother’s. You look around but cannot find a source. //That passage… I remember that. It’s from… oh what’s the name… um a H.P. Lovecraft novel. [[One of my favorites.]]//

“We live on a placid island of ignorance in the midst of black seas of infinity, and it was not meant that we should voyage far. The sciences, each straining in its own direction, have hitherto harmed us little; but some day the piecing together of dissociated knowledge will open up such terrifying vistas of reality, and of our frightful position therein, that we shall either go mad from the revelation or flee from the light into the peace and safety of a new dark age.” You listen to your mother’s voice. Feeling [[a sense of calm]] wave over you.

When she finishes speaking you feel a tear roll own your face. Wiping it away quickly, you push on, looking back for only a moment to make sure [[P-]] ,er, the dog is following.

You see light up ahead and run towards it. You stop right before entering the light when you hear your dog start to whimper. Looking back you remember the [[camera]] resting on your side. You glance back towards the [[light]].

Picking it up you flip through the photos again not expecting to see anything. //Huh?// To your surprise one photo is not distorted. You [[smile at the memory]] it brings to mind. (if: $name is "Amber")[<img src="https://www.dropbox.com/s/dzvd5xg3k73xqzn/gamestuff_1.png?dl=1" width="500" height="650">](else:)[<img src="https://www.dropbox.com/s/ij8bpy3u33y0ewv/gamestuff_2_revised.png?dl=1" width="500" height="650">]

Smiling gently at Poc- the dog you wave before heading into [[the light->darkness]].

You look down and see a digital camera with a zebra striped strap attached to it. Curious, you [[pick up the camera]].

Unfortunately as you scroll through the photos they all appear to be distorted. The sound of paws beating against the ground reaches your ears. Placing the camera strap over your shoulder you take off running again. Looking to the left you see a sliver of moonlight filter in from the trees above, creating a halo of light on the forest floor. Looking to the right you hear a long steady beep. You are unsure what to make of it. You make a [[left->left1]] or a [[right->right1]].

<audio src="https://www.dropbox.com/s/xgkaq1sk417jvgw/138275__hupguy__heart-rate-monitors-aif.wav?dl=1" autoplay> </audio> Beep. Beep. Beep. All you see is darkness. “Sorry, Mrs. P.” You hear someone say. //[[Jordan?]]//

You squat down to the dog’s level, rubbing her head lovingly. //It’s okay, Pocky.// Giving her a kiss on the forehead, you stand back up and make your way into [[the light->darkness]].

<audio src="https://www.dropbox.com/s/0c36my1dam3unbd/121565__juskiddink__dogs-growling.wav?dl=1" autoplay> </audio> //What the?// A sense of déjà vu overwhelms you. Shaking off the feeling you continue on your way. **Growl** Startled you [[turn around]] to see the dog, a German Shepard.

Oddly enough you are no longer afraid of the dog. Your apprehension fades and is replaced with a feeling of companionship. The dog continues to growl. You let out a [[high whistle]] and motion for the dog to come to you. Bounding forward, the dog stops right in front of you, its tail wagging in excitement. <audio src="https://www.dropbox.com/s/di5gs9ji2zs88y5/349353__fairhavencollection__whistle.wav?dl=1" autoplay> </audio>

You give the dog a few rubdowns //whose a good girl?// before she trots off. Curious, you decide to follow along. //I wonder where she’s taking me// Your thoughts are interrupted when you [[hear paper crumpling]]. <audio src="https://www.dropbox.com/s/eyappdr2ynzgo9e/114299__fcsimba__paper-crumpling.wav?dl=1" autoplay> </audio>

Looking down, you see you’ve stepped on a large white envelope. You [[pick]] it up.

//It’s addressed to me?// Interested you quickly open the envelope and pull out a formal looking letter. //Dear (if: $name is "Amber")[Amber](else:)[Samuel], We are pleased to inform you…// You continue reading the letter, before double-no triple [[checking the sender]].

//I got accepted. I got accepted! I got accepted to PNCA!// You let out a shout of joy. The dog jumping along in excitement. //Wait until I tell Mom and Da-.// Your mood sours. You crumple the letter slightly in your hand before [[stalking off]].

The dog rushes in front of you to continue leading the way. You stomp along behind her still agitated. Something [[stabs your foot]].

//Shit!// An IV lays on the ground. //What the hell?// You go to inspect the clear liquid it holds, but the dog barks to get your attention and begins to walk again. //Okay okay. I’m coming, Po-// As you walk it appears to get darker, but before you can question it [[you hear something]]. <audio src="https://www.dropbox.com/s/obqnuu92t3xgwgv/277058__kwahmah-02__single-dog-bark.wav?dl=1" autoplay> </audio>

“Hey idiot.” //Jordan?// “You’ll never guess what I saw at the festival. Timothy and Zoey. Together. It’s about damn time if I do say so myself. *chuckles* Anyway the festival only lasts for one more day, so we’ll have to go tomorrow.” //Good for Timmy. I’m glad it all worked out alright.// Becoming aware of your surroundings again, you notice it has gotten [[significantly darker]].

The dog stops in front of a large break in the trees. Inside it you see nothing but darkness. The dog beckons you forward but you hesitate. She barks a few times more, looking back to the break. You walk forward passing Po- the dog, stopping right before you cross into the pitch black. She barks again in excitement. You look back at her a bit unsure, remembering [[the camera]] resting against your side, before glancing back towards [[the darkness]]. <audio src="https://www.dropbox.com/s/obqnuu92t3xgwgv/277058__kwahmah-02__single-dog-bark.wav?dl=1" autoplay> </audio>

Picking it up you flip through the photos again not expecting to see anything. //Huh?// To your surprise one photo is not distorted. You [[smile]] at the memory it brings to mind. (if: $name is "Amber")[<img src="https://www.dropbox.com/s/dzvd5xg3k73xqzn/gamestuff_1.png?dl=1" width="500" height="650">](else:)[<img src="https://www.dropbox.com/s/ij8bpy3u33y0ewv/gamestuff_2_revised.png?dl=1" width="500" height="650">]

Taking a deep breath, you hesitantly make your way into the [[darkness->the light]].

You squat down to the dog’s level, rubbing her head lovingly. //Thanks Pocky. You always know how to take care of me// Giving her one more pat on the head, you stand back up and make your way into the [[darkness->the light]].

You’re surrounded by a [[blinding light]].

Still running, you make a sudden halt as [[the opening notes of a song]] are heard.

Once you’re in the clear, you slow down to a walk. Taking in your surroundings you stop and stare at the trees. //That’s strange.// The bark of the trees is smooth and white. You rub your hand against it. //It’s like a wall inside of a building. How odd.// //Maybe it’s a different tree species.// You continue walking, allowing your hand to [[run across]] the odd tree bark.

<audio src="https://www.dropbox.com/s/us9qdle75p1noo9/Celtic%20mandolin%20music%20by%20Arany%20Zolt%C3%83%C2%A1n.mp3?dl=1" autoplay> </audio> Looking around, you find no source. You decide to listen to the song, as you continue walking. //Is that..? The fairytale piece I've been working on?// Letting the music and the strums of the mandolin embrace you, you begin skipping onward. You notice a quick movement to your left. Then suddenly to your right. Tiny giggles erupt through the air joining the music. //No it couldn’t be. Could it?// You can’t help but [[laugh]] along.

As the song comes to an end you continue humming the tune, until you are met with an intense wave of nausea. Leaning up against a tree, you put your head between your knees. The nausea quickly passes. Lifting your head you [[stop short]].

Standing right in front of you is the dog, a German Shepard. Startled you slam your head into the tree. //[[Ow! That's going to leave a mark.]]//

Looking back at the dog, surprisingly you do not feel afraid. You reach out and begin pet its head gently. Instantly sitting, the dog begins to wag its tail. //What a good girl!// A moment later the dog begins jumping around in excitement. She runs off in one direction. You remain seated. She returns a moment later with her head cocked to one side as if perplexed. //Oh. I think she wants me to follow her.// You [[walk alongside]] the dog, an endless amount of trees passing you by on either side.

Suddenly your foot catches a branch and you begin falling forward. Bracing yourself for impact you’re met only with a [[soft comfort]].

Lifting your head, you realize you’ve fallen on a pillow. //What on Earth is this doing out here?// You begin picking up the pillow only to have the dog tug on it from the other side. //Ah you wanna play I see.// You and the dog [[tug back and forth]] on the pillow, eventually wrestling around on the forest floor.

After a while you both stop, the sound of your panting filling the air. You look towards the dog. //I guess we better keep going huh?// She barks in response. Getting up you [[follow the dog]] once more. <audio src="https://www.dropbox.com/s/obqnuu92t3xgwgv/277058__kwahmah-02__single-dog-bark.wav?dl=1" autoplay> </audio>

It begins to grow darker. So dark you can barely see the trees to your right and left. The dog runs off abruptly. //Hey wait!// You quickly run after her, not wanting to lose your only company. //[[Here girl!]]//

It’s pitch black now and it’s a wonder you haven’t run into anything yet. A slow beeping reaches your ears. You keep [[running]]. <audio src="https://www.dropbox.com/s/xgkaq1sk417jvgw/138275__hupguy__heart-rate-monitors-aif.wav?dl=1" autoplay> </audio>

<audio src="https://www.dropbox.com/s/xgkaq1sk417jvgw/138275__hupguy__heart-rate-monitors-aif.wav?dl=1" autoplay> </audio> The beeping grows louder. Covering your ears, you yell out once more for the dog. //Pocky!// The beeping grows louder. [[Beep. Beep. Beep.->the light]]

Eventually you feel something rough and rugged on your hands and realize the tree bark has returned to normal. You look back and gaze at the white trees, before continuing forward. //I wonder why those trees stop so abruptly?// You walk for a while more, when suddenly you [[hear music]].

<audio src="https://www.dropbox.com/s/us9qdle75p1noo9/Celtic%20mandolin%20music%20by%20Arany%20Zolt%C3%83%C2%A1n.mp3?dl=1" autoplay> </audio> //Is that what I think it is?// Listening more you instantly recognize the song. //My fairytale composition!// //The mandolin sounds magical!// Humming along to the tune, a sense of tranquility envelopes you. You hear [[a rustle]] to your right.

As you move to check it out, a German Shepard tackles you to the ground. The dog begins dragging you by your ankle in the opposite direction. //Wait! The music!// The music fades in the background. Afraid you’ll lose it forever, you begin [[kicking the dog]].

//Stop it! Let me go!// Whimpering the dog lets you go. You scold her and order her to stay, before [[running off]] in your original direction.

You can’t seem to find the music again. Frustrated, you plop down against a tree. A crinkling sound reaches your ears. Reaching under your leg you find a large white envelope. Your name appears on the front. //[[Huh?->Huh]]// <audio src="https://www.dropbox.com/s/eyappdr2ynzgo9e/114299__fcsimba__paper-crumpling.wav?dl=1" autoplay> </audio>

Opening the envelope you pull out an official looking letter. //Dear (if: $name is "Amber")[Amber](else:)[Samuel], We are pleased to inform you…// You quickly skim the rest of the letter. //Accepted? I got accepted?// //I’m going to PNCA!// You jump in excitement and [[turn to share]] your joy with the dog, only to remember you told her to stay where she was.

Still excited but slightly less so you continuing walking. Goosebumps erupt all over your body. //Must be all that excitement// You [[hear a rattling noise]].

You turn around to see the dog trotting up behind you, a bottle of pills in her mouth. Taking them from her mouth you look closely at the bottle. Inside are small yellow pills. The label reads Trileptal. You look at who they are prescribed to, only to find the name smudged. You wonder where the dog found them. Uninterested in finding out, you drop them to the ground and [[keep walking]]. <audio src="https://www.dropbox.com/s/8j0zz6cpbz06wca/179009__smartwentcody__pill-bottle-rattle.wav?dl=1" autoplay> </audio>

You see a light up ahead. Excited, you [[run towards it]].

A low whine stops you in your tracks. You turn towards the dog. Her face droops. You gently pet her. //I have to go now, okay?// She [[whines again]].

//Don’t be sad. It will be okay.// Standing up you wave a farewell and walk to [[the light->darkness]].

You try to open your eyes. After a moment you succeed only to be blinded by light. Closing your eyes you try again, slower. With your eyes open you look around. You’re in a hospital bed. A heart monitor beeping next to you. White walls surrounding you. The strong smell of disinfectant tickling your nose. //[[Ugh. The hospital? Again?]]//

Jordan is sitting on the edge of your bed. Your mother is in the corner reading a book, //The Time Keeper//. “Jor-” You try to say before being sent into a [[coughing fit]].

Jordan and your mother snap their heads towards you. “(if: $name is "Amber")[Amber](else:)[Samuel]!” Jordan calls. Your mother rushes to your side, while Jordan grabs you a cup of water. You drink up the water, greedily. “Don’t drink too fast now,” your mother warns. You slowly [[finish drinking]] your water.

“How are you feeling?” Jordan asks. Mentally assessing how you feel you respond, “my head hurts a lot and my back is kinda sore.” Jordan heads out to get a nurse. As she is leaving your father comes back in the room with coffee. When he notices you’re awake he quickly places the coffee down and rushes to your side. “You’re awake, kid,” he states. You smile at the nickname. [[“Yeah. Quick question though. What happened?”]]

Your mother and father share a look. “What do you remember?” Your mother starts. Thinking for a moment you remember smelling cookies. “Um…I remember making some cookies.” Nodding his head, your father continues “right, so you were walking up the stairs. And you ended up having a [[seizure->seizure2]] and falling back down.” Your mother leans over to kiss your forehead, “you hit your head pretty hard.” Thinking about how bad your seizure was you ask, [[“I’m okay though right?”]]

Reassuringly your mother responds, “yep, according to the doctor.” A look of determination on his face, your father asserts, “we’ll just have to manage your seizures better. I’m planning on just working from home for now on to keep an eye on you.” Feeling agitated you look away from your father and your mother decides to jump in. “So guess what I found in the mail today?” Instantly excited, [[“it’s my acceptance letter!”]]

Your mother halts before grabbing the large envelope off of the bedside table. “How did you know?” Shaking your head, you grab the envelope from your mother. “Acceptance letter? When did you apply to any schools? Why haven’t I heard of this?” Your father interjects, interrupting your excitement. You struggle for words, until [[you are saved]] by Jordan bursting back into the room.

“Look who I brought!” Jordan exclaims. You look over the bed to see, when a blur rushes past Jordan before jumping into the bed with you. Feeling a soft fur and licks all over your face, you instantly know who it is. “Pocky!” After a beat of silence your mother speaks. “If it weren’t for Pocky who knows how long you would have been hurt and alone.” Hugging Pocky close, you mumble into her head, [[“you always know how to take care of me.”]]

“Yes yes. Pocky is a great service dog. Now back to this acceptance letter. Where is it even to?” Your father asks after a moment. Grumbling to yourself for a moment, you mutter, “It’s PNCA.” “I thought our plan was you were going to stay home and go to a community college?” [[“That was your plan, not mine.”]]

He looks accusingly at your mother, “And you went behind my back to help?” Not wanting to get into it in front of everyone, your mother simply responds, “Not now.” “Dad, can you just consider letting me go off to college? Like a normal teenager?” “Consider it? After what just happened? You were home alone for a few hours and now you’re in the damn hospital! How do you think I’d let you go off to college, when you can’t even be by yourself at home for a few hours?” Shocked for moment, you finally respond [[“but dad-”]]

“No buts, you’re not going. You’ll be declining the offer when we get home.” Feeling a sense rage boil up inside of you, you shout, [[“you’re the worst father! How can you be so damn stubborn?”]]

When your environment finally comes into focus you hear a dog whimpering in the distance. Following the sound, you find yourself [[confined by tombstones]].

Looking around you see your parents, Jordan, and your dog, Pocky. You immediately call out to them, but [[they don’t respond]].

You run towards them to get their attention, but [[they don’t appear to see you]].

Reaching over you touch your mother’s shoulder, but [[your hand moves right through her]].

Confused you turn your attention to the headstone they are all staring at. [[It has your name on it]].

Shocked you fall back onto the ground. Jordan begins to talk and you can’t help but listen. “You know, we were supposed to graduate together. We were going travel the world together and you would take a bazillion amazing pictures of everything, like you always do.” Tears well in your eyes as you realize [[your fate]].

Your mother is the next to speak. “I miss you so much baby.” She isn’t able to say much else as she breaks down in tears. Jordan leads her back to the car, to help calm her down. //[[I miss you too, momma.]]//

Your father stands in silence for a moment, staring off into the distance. “You know,” he eventually starts, “the doctors said your [[seizure]] was probably caused by stress.” You nod your head as understanding dawns on you, [[you had a seizure]].

“Did I do this?” Confused you stare up at your father. //[[What on Earth could he mean by that?]]//

“I was so closed minded when you said you wanted to go off to college,” he continues, “I should have been more open to the idea. But I was afraid. You got accepted to PNCA. Your mother said she helped you apply.” Shaking his head, he stares at [[your name]] engraved on the headstone.

“You have to understand I was afraid, okay? But now look what happened. I did this. I kill-” Standing up in shock at what he’s thinking, [[you reach out]] to try and comfort him, only to watch your hand move right through him.

//No dad. This isn’t your fault. You cannot think that. It’s awful, yes, but you are not responsible.// Unable to hear you, your father begins to weep. He wipes his tears and walks back to the car, expressionless. //Dad?// You call out, knowing it’s [[useless]].

Pocky remains lying in front of your headstone. Bending down, you imitate the motion of rubbing your hand over her fur. As though she can sense you, Pocky lets out a sad whine. Smiling sadly you whisper, //[[It’s okay, Pocky. I’ll be okay. You don’t have to worry about me anymore.->Credits]]//

Turning left you sprint off. You don’t look back until you believe you’ve run far enough away for the dog to no longer be nearby. Slowly down you [[take in your surroundings.]]

Quickly, you turn right and run off. As soon as you feel you’ve lost the dog, you slow down. You continue walking, only to [[trip over something]] in your path.

//Trees. And more trees.// Sighing you continue on, only to be stopped when [[goosebumps]] erupt over your skin.

//That’s odd.// Looking around you try to find the source, afraid that perhaps the dog found you again. Not seeing the dog, you try to ignore the strange goosebumps on your skin, chalking it up to the fact that you’re [[probably cold]] and don’t realize it.

Walking further, you notice a leather bound book sticking up out of the snow on the ground. //Snow? No wonder I have goosebumps.// You walk over and pick up the book. You open it. You look at the hand written passages on several pages. //[[A journal?]]//

Reading a passage through you see your name at the bottom. //My journal!// Hoping that maybe the last entry will give you some idea as to why you’re out in the woods, you quickly [[flip to it.]]

(if: $name is "Amber")[<img src="https://www.dropbox.com/s/v3yprsuejnp227e/journal%201.png?dl=1" width="700" height="574">](else:)[<img src="https://www.dropbox.com/s/r6bp2kn016oj0sp/journal%202.png?dl=1" width="700" height="574">] You [[remember writing the passage.]] You especially remember how stressed out you were that day.

//Dad was being insufferable that day. I only wanted to have a simple conversation with him.// You look at the date at the top of the entry, but you have no idea what today’s date is to even try and reference it. Holding on to the journal, you [[continue on your way.]]

All of a sudden, you feel a tug on your pant leg, before you’re [[dragged along.]]

Looking down you see the dog from before. No longer feeling afraid you rip your pant leg from its mouth. //Bad dog!// You scold the dog, looking down wagging your finger in its face. She whimpers, her tail moving in between her legs. Feeling only slightly guilty, you squat down and [[begin to pet the German Shepard’s fur.]]

Eventually, her tail is wagging excitedly. Getting up, you [[continue walking]], the dog trotting alongside you.

After some time you are overwhelmed by the scent of antiseptic. You cover your nose for a moment, before looking down at the dog. //Do you smell that?// She barks in return. Nodding your head, you keep walking. You hope the smell will pass or that it means you’re getting [[closer to leaving]] the forest. <audio src="https://www.dropbox.com/s/obqnuu92t3xgwgv/277058__kwahmah-02__single-dog-bark.wav?dl=1" autoplay> </audio>

Without warning, the light disappears from the forest, leaving only darkness in its wake. As if someone flipped off the [[light switch]].

You still hear Po-, the dog, walking beside you. You can barely see your hands in front of your face. Reaching out you try to touch trees passing by in order to guide you as you walk. You stop, however, once you feel what you believe to be a tree. //[[That didn’t feel like bark.]]//

You reach out to touch the tree again, as well as, those that are around it. //It feels more like…um like a wall.// Ignoring the strange occurrence for now you keep moving. //[[Hopefully it won’t be this dark for long.]]//

No longer feeling any trees on either side of you, you stop. You think it might be best to go back. But, before you can turn around [[the dog nudges you]] forward.

Looking down you can barely make out her silhouette. //You want me to keep going?// She barks, happily. //Okay. I trust you, Pocky.// Taking a deep breath, you walk further into the [[darkness->the light]]. <audio src="https://www.dropbox.com/s/obqnuu92t3xgwgv/277058__kwahmah-02__single-dog-bark.wav?dl=1" autoplay> </audio>

Catching yourself before you hit the ground, you notice that a layer of snow coats the forest floor. //Strange. Why hadn’t I noticed that before?// Slowly standing up, you try to find [[what caused your fall.]]

Nestled in the snow you notice a strap. Pulling on it, you discover a backpack. //A backpack? Maybe there’s something inside.// You hastily unzip the backpack and look inside. Reaching inside you pull out a water bottle. //A water bottle. Too bad I’m not thirsty.// Reaching back inside, your hand comes out empty handed. You stick your head inside the backpack and don’t find anything else. //[[I guess that was it.]]//

Stuffing the water bottle back into the backpack, you put the backpack over one of your shoulders and continue walking. You don’t get far, when you’re [[knocked to the ground.]]

You realize it’s the dog from before, as you hear its muffled growling above you. [[You freeze]], the dog’s breathing hitting the back of your neck.

When nothing more happens, you slowly roll over and look at the dog. It’s a German Shepard, you realize. //Maybe she wants what is in my bag.// Standing up, you pull out the water bottle and hold it towards the dog. The dog ignores the bottle and begins [[sniffing the backpack.]]

You notice a zipper on the side of the backpack. Opening it, you find some doggie treats. The dog begins wagging her tail in excitement. Grabbing the treats you hold them out towards the dog and begin feeding her. She [[snatches them greedily]] from your hands.

When you run out of treats, you get up and motion for the dog to follow along as you begin walking again. [[Seeming to hesitate]] the dog eventually follows along.

After a while you hear the sound of [[something rattling.]] <audio src="https://www.dropbox.com/s/8j0zz6cpbz06wca/179009__smartwentcody__pill-bottle-rattle.wav?dl=1" autoplay> </audio>

You ignore it and walk on, until you hear it again. Looking back you see Poc- the dog messing around with something in the snow. You look down and [[see a bottle of pills.]] <audio src="https://www.dropbox.com/s/8j0zz6cpbz06wca/179009__smartwentcody__pill-bottle-rattle.wav?dl=1" autoplay> </audio>

Picking it up, you turn it over and see your name written on the label. Confused you look inside the bottle. Inside you see several small yellow pills. The pills look familiar to you, but you don’t know why. Not wanting to waste any more time, you [[place the pills in your backpack]] and continue on.

<audio src="https://www.dropbox.com/s/0c36my1dam3unbd/121565__juskiddink__dogs-growling.wav?dl=1" autoplay> </audio> The dog begins growling again. Thinking maybe she wants some more treats you take some more from your bag and hold them out to her. She ignores your offering and knocks the treats from your hands. //[[Well that was rude.]]//

Deciding to ignore her odd behavior, you keep on walking. All of a sudden you hear a voice. "Hey kid." It’s your dad. "I know you’re mad at me, but I’m just doing what I think is best. I hate seeing you like this, so if I can prevent it at all I will do everything in my power to do so." You roll your eyes at your stubborn dad. "But…I’ve realized how much this part of your life means to you, how much it meant to me. So I’ve decided to at least hear you out." You perk up at this. //Could he mean what I think he means?// "You know what that means, don’t you? You have to wake up. You hear me? [[You just have to wake up, kid.]]"

As your dad’s voice fades you run forwards, hoping you’ll hear it again. Up ahead you [[see a light.]]

Excited you hurry towards it, only stopping when you hear your dog whimpering. //What is it, girl?// She [[continues to whimper.]]

You try to drag her along with you, but she doesn’t budge. She simply lies down in the snow. You decide to continue on, turning back before you enter the light to look at your dog. //I’ll be back for you, okay Pocky?// But somehow as your [[enter the light->darkness]], you know that isn’t true.

You turn left before the dog is able to grab hold of your ankle and run as fast as you can. Making some leeway, no longer able to hear the dog running behind you, you [[slow down.]]

You make a sharp right, hoping to throw the dog off of your trail. You run until you feel as though you’re far enough from the dog. Slowing down you look around and [[sigh]] at the abundance of trees around you.

As you’re running you suddenly hear a voice. "Try to imagine a life without timekeeping. You probably can’t." You instantly recognize the voice as your mother’s. "You know the month, the year, the day of the week. There is a clock on your wall or the dashboard of your car." You recognize the passage. //The Time Keeper//. You stumble slightly, but quickly pick up the pace as your hear the dog nearing you. "You have a schedule, a calendar, a time for dinner or a movie. Yet all around you, timekeeping is ignored." Hoping you’re getting closer to the sound of your mother’s voice, you run on. "Birds are not late. A dog does not check its watch. Deer do not fret over passing birthdays. Man alone measures time. Man alone chimes the hour. And, because of this, man alone suffers a paralyzing fear that no other creature endures. [[A fear of time running out.->The dog is close]]"

As your mother's voice fades away, you realize the dog is close behind you. Looking right you see a bird soar down and land on a low branch, before singing a short tune. //You’re up awfully late.// Looking left you see an aged tree plummet to the ground with a muffled thump. //But would it have made a sound if I weren’t here?// You decide to make a sharp [[left->left4]] or [[right->right4]].

Suddenly, you are hit with a wall of what smells like antiseptic. //Disgusting. What is it even doing out here?// You gag at the smell and try to ignore it as you continue walking. //[[Hopefully it will pass.]]//

As you trudge forward through the smell, the dog, a German Shepard, appears in front of you. Ready to run again, you [[pause for a moment]].

When the dog does nothing, you realize you are no longer afraid and continue walking. The dog jumps back in front of your path and nudges you the other way. Afraid you’ll be going the opposite way of your mother’s voice, [[you ignore her.]]

The dog chases after you, incessantly barking at your side. Becoming annoyed you look for something to restrain the dog. Coincidentally, you notice [[a black leash]] tied to a tree not too far away. <audio src="https://www.dropbox.com/s/d1li67t0iw0mp4f/155312__jace__dog-barking.wav?dl=1" autoplay loop> </audio>

Taking the leash you attach it to the German Shepard’s collar that you just noticed. //Now stay here.// You [[leave the dog]], as she whimpers softly.

Walking on, you begin to become nauseous. //Ugh. It must be from that antiseptic I was smelling earlier.// Looking down you notice a zebra striped strap nestled against a tree. Thinking it’s another leash you grab it, only to realize it is [[attached to a camera.]]

Excited you turn it on and click through the photos. The first several photos you pass are blurred out. You’re about to give up hope on seeing any photos, when you [[finally find one]] that is viewable, at least partially.

Within the photo you see your mother. You run your finger across the photo display. //I’m trying to find you mother. I wish you could tell me where you are.// Placing the camera strap around your neck, you try not to dwell on the moment and [[move on.]]

As you continue on, you suddenly begin hearing paws hitting the ground behind you. Turning around you see the dog trotting towards you, the leash gnawed in half dragging behind her. [[Shaking your head]] at the dog, you keep walking.

You see a light up ahead. The dog whimpers as you continue to more towards it. Ignoring her, you become mesmerized by the light. You walk forwards, the sound of the dog’s whimpers [[fading in the background.->darkness]]

Glancing down, you notice a pouch of clear liquid attached to a long clear tube laying on the ground. You pick it up to examine it. //An IV pouch?// You shake pouch, watching the liquid slosh around. //[[What on Earth is this doing out here?]]//

Finding no answers to your question, you drop the pouch back on the ground and continue on your way. You walk for a while longer, only to suddenly trip and fall forward. You feel a sense of déjà vu overcome you, especially as you look to see what you tripped over. //[[The IV pouch?]]//

Looking down you see your foot wrapped in the clear tube attached to the IV pouch from before. //Didn’t I just? What is this? How?// //Was I walking in a circle?// Before you can question it any more, the dog from earlier, a German Shepard, [[appears beside you.]]

Startled you fall to the ground, but no longer do you feel afraid. Reaching out you rub your hand gently through her fur. She bends down and takes the tube off of your foot. Afraid that she’ll try to drink from the pouch, you quickly take it from her and throw it far away. Standing back up, you motion for the dog to follow and continue along your path. //[[Hopefully I won’t get turned around again.]]//

Walking for a short while more, you only stop when you notice a leather bound book on the ground. Picking it up, you open it and discover that it is your journal. //Maybe I can find some answers as to why I’m out here.// You flip to the last journal entry and [[read.]]

(if: $name is "Amber")[<img src="https://www.dropbox.com/s/87lmkqi6rz4tzvt/journal%204.png?dl=1" width="700" height="574">](else:)[<img src="https://www.dropbox.com/s/2zh2vxw32m0hjwu/journal%203.png?dl=1" width="700" height="574">] [[Close journal.]]

Although it didn’t answer any of your questions, you do remember that day and how upset you were. You [[hold the journal close]] to your chest and keep walking, your dog following alongside you.

<audio src="https://www.dropbox.com/s/xgkaq1sk417jvgw/138275__hupguy__heart-rate-monitors-aif.wav?dl=1" autoplay> </audio> An incessant beeping sound fills your ears. //This is the true definition of annoying.// You try and cover your ears to block out the noise, but the sound still seeps through your fingertips. Hoping the sound will pass, you continue on, until another sound reaches your ears. This one is [[a rattling sound.]]

<audio src="https://www.dropbox.com/s/8j0zz6cpbz06wca/179009__smartwentcody__pill-bottle-rattle.wav?dl=1" autoplay> </audio> Looking down, you notice your foot has kicked a small orange pill bottle. Picking it up, you roll it over in your hand and see your name on it. Inside you see small yellow pills. Feeling a sense of familiarity you look down for a moment at the dog. //Hey, I’ve seen these before. These are the pills I take for my… Oh what’s it called… Damn.// Unable to remember the use of the pills, you [[toss them aside]] as they don't serve any purpose to you.

You and your dog approach what appears to be a wall of darkness. Your dog barks. You glance towards her as if needing to be reassured, before you make a move. She barks again in response. You take a few steps forward and the smell of antiseptic tickles your nose. Not letting that stop you, you continue towards [[the darkness without hesitation.->the light]] <audio src=" https://www.dropbox.com/s/obqnuu92t3xgwgv/277058__kwahmah-02__single-dog-bark.wav?dl=1" autoplay> </audio>

<audio src="https://www.dropbox.com/s/y0lf4vkb58z50eb/Zebrat_-_05_-_Bewilderment.mp3?dl=1" autoplay loop> </audio> <div class=End> (set: $Title to (text-style: "smear")) $Title[Paroxysm] </div> <div class=Roles> [[Play Again?->Paroxysm]] </div> <div class=Credits>**Creator**</div> Taylor Anderson-Barkley <div class=Credits>**Writer**</div> Taylor Anderson-Barkley <div class=Credits>**Art**</div> Caroline Harwood <div class=Credits>**Sound**</div> <a href="http://www.freesound.org/people/juskiddink/sounds/121565/";>justkiddink</a> <a href="http://www.freesound.org/people/SmartWentCody/sounds/179009/";>SmartWentCody</a> <a href="http://www.freesound.org/people/FairhavenCollection/sounds/349353";>FairhavenCollection</a> <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zYl9eOBZIgs";>Arany Zoltan</a> <a href="http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Zebrat/Fairyland/Zebrat_-_Fairyland_-_05_Bewilderment";>Zebrat</a>

Before we begin, let me set something straight. Are you [[Amber]] or are you [[Samuel]]?

(set: $name to "Amber") Yes, of course. Your name is Amber. Now we can [[begin->Start]].

(set: $name to "Samuel") Yes, of course. Your name is Samuel. Now we can [[begin->Start]].

Your father doesn’t waste a second before shouting right back, “I’m just trying to protect you!” “And look how far that got you! You’re practically the reason I’m here in the first place! [[I should have just died, maybe then you’d see what you’re doing to me!]]”

Your father falls silent. The air in the hospital room is thick with tension. Your mother eventually cuts in. “That’s enough you two. We shouldn’t be doing this right now. We should just all be happy you’re awake, (if: $name is "Amber")[Amber](else:)[Samuel].” Your father grabs his coat off a nearby chair. “I’m glad you’re okay, (if: $name is "Amber")[Amber](else:)[Samuel],” he says before walking out the room, [[closing the door gently.]]

You, your mother, Jordan, and Pocky stare at the door for a moment, before Jordan coughs awkwardly and tries to start a conversation with you. You could care less as to what’s being said; however, as your eyes remain glued to the door your father just walked out of, the last words you said to him replaying in your mind. [[I should have just died, maybe then you’d see what you’re doing to me!->Credits]]

Seizures occur when there is sudden, abnormal electrical activity in the brain. When seizures are recurring it is called epilepsy. Seizures can be triggered by stroke, head injuries, extremely low blood sugar, flashing lights, high levels of stress, lack of sleep, drugs, etc. Not all seizures involve convlusions. Other symptoms of seizures include anxiety, nausea, fear, dizziness, racing heart, sweating, loss of consciousness, headaches, amnesia, temporary paralysis, déjà vu, smelling and hearing unusual things, visual hallucinations, etc. Epilepsy is typically treated by medications. One such medication is Oxcarbazepin, also known as Trileptal, which is used to treat partial seizures. Its side effects include difficulty with balance and dizziness. [[Back->I miss you too, momma.]]