Sugarcane

We called it a Hero Room.\n\n---THE END---\n\nYOU FOUND THE TRUE (AND VERY MUCH CANON) ENDING\n\nTO BE CONTINUED IN "HERO ROOM 2: ROOM HARDER"

youre solving it now\n\nor maybe you arent\n\nwhat are you even asking\n\n[[lets start over|door]]

the damsel looks at you confused she doesnt know why youre here\n\nyou dont really look like a hero yet\n\nyou could look more like a hero if you were punching that [[witch|witch]] in the face right now

youre gonna fight a dragon oh yeah\n\nHMM INDEED the wizard shouts THERES A DRAGON LIKE A MILE FROM HERE GO KILL IT WITH YOUR NEWFOUND STRENGTH\n\n[[you run for a mile|random encounter]]

the wizard nods but does not stop shouting\n\nTHE RESCUE OF DAMSELS IS VERY MUCH A THING THAT NEEDS TO HAPPEN\n\nyou ask why many damsels would need rescuing and how damsel is being defined in this context\n\nTHESE ARE QUESTIONS FOR WIZARDS BUT NOT FOR HEROES WILL YOU TAKE THIS QUEST OR NOT\n\nyou give a cool sarcastic one liner implying you already agreed and also he is wasting your time in one sentence\n\nVERY WELL A DAMSEL WAS ABDUCTED BY ABERDAXIA THE WITCH [[GO TO HER LAIR|witch lair]] AND RESCUE HER\n\nyou sort out that the first her refers to aberdaxia and the second her refers to the damsel who doesnt seem to have a name\n\nyou ask how to get there\n\nCLICK ON MY WORDS THEYRE MAGIC

you eat the blue berry and its a blueberry\n\noh this is a blueberry bush not a crazy fantasy adventure game bush\n\nyou eat a bunch of blueberries because free blueberries but you accomplish very little\n\nwhat else can you find on the [[bushes|bushes]]

Glad to hear it. \n\n[[Let's go to that room.|??? room again]]

FOR MANY YEARS THE RELIC WHICH HELD THE GODLY HERO POWER ENERGY WAS GUARDED AS A SACRED THING\n\nI MEAN A LOT OF YEARS LIKE WELL OVER TEN\n\nBECAUSE IT WAS A LOT OF POWER THOUGH PEOPLE EVENTUALLY STARTED FIGHTING OVER IT AS PEOPLE WILL DO\n\nTHE WARS RAVAGED THE WORLD JUST LIKE EVERYTHING SEEMS TO HAVE RAVAGED THE WORLD IN THIS LORE\n\nEVENTUALLY A WIZARD GOT SICK OF IT AND BROKE THE RELIC\n\nHE SPLIT THE GODLY POWER INTO SEVEN PARTS AND PUT THE PARTS INTO GEMS AND HID THEM\n\nHID THEM REALLY WELL\n\n[[BACK|words]]

you open the door and uhhhh\n\nokay this is kind of hard to explain\n\nits a room and half of it is painted white\n\nactually that was really easy to explain but the walls are stone which is why the painting seems so wierd\n\nit looks like someone gave up halfway through painting or maybe went to get lunch\n\nthere arent any puzzles or items here so [[lets go|lobby]]

as she throws the magic you punch the magic\n\nit is not punchable magic punchable magic doesnt come in that color\n\nthis magic instead fries the hell out of you on contact\n\nyou are so dead\n\ntime to [[restart|checkpoint]]

@@''!!!@!!9''@@\n\nokay there its almost gone\n\n@@''[[((@|redemption]]''@@\n\nno no get out of here with that\n\ndo it hero [[get rid of this pest|win]]

you jump back and the red spell hits the floor\n\nits a big firey explosion good thing you dodged it\n\naberdaxia stamps her foot and flails her arms shes all kinds of frustrated\n\nnow shes charging a GREEN SPELL\n\nwill you [[dodge left|beat green]] \n[[dodge right|fried]] \n[[dodge back|fried]] \nor [[attack|attack fail]]

you punch its head off\n\nokay you win the dragon is dead\n\nyou gain a level but its the end of the game why does the final boss even give experience\n\n[[return to the wizard now|dragonwin]]

youre in a room\n\nits all white and you can see a window\n\nexits are [[door|room door]] and that [[window|window]]

you climb out the window\n\nit goes outside\n\nthe door also led outside by the way they go to the same place\n\ni swear this game gets better\n\n[[moving on|forest]]

Yeah.\n\nSee, that...entity with the terrible grammar and lack of punctuation interrupted the ritual. He's a lesser aspect of Durg'thaz, a little droplet of pure deciet. Somehow he latched onto your mind and caused you to experience this...horrible non-adventure. I think he was trying to trick you into thinking you were already a hero and not completing the ritual or something. Creatures of his kind are tricky, but ultimately not all that smart, so it's hard to say what (if anything) he was really trying to accomplish.\n\nThe things you experienced did actually happen, kind of. You did just rescue a [[damsel|damsel?]] from a witch, so you can still feel proud of that. However, all of this has ultimately just been wasting time. The ritual to become a Hero must be started.\n\nFortunately, now that I've purged that thing from your mind, I can help...if you'll [[let me.|plan]]

you identify the dragon as a dragon\n\ndragons are large creatures and a major cause of fire death\n\nthey are scaly and a common misconception is that all dragons are green when they can be any color\n\nthis one is green though\n\nthe dragon doesnt know what a scan spell is so it just kind of looks at you confused during all this\n\n[[attack|attack dragon]]\n[[cast spell|spell2]]\n[[scan|scan dragon]]\n[[run|run dragon]]

Hero Room

you see a castle way off in the distance\n\ntheres nothing near it so it looks abandoned\n\nyou decide to stop inferring things about this castle before your imagination gets too out of hand\n\nyou can [[look north|north]] \nyou can [[look south|south]]\nor you can just kind of [[look east|east]] again\n\nor just [[climb down|forest]]

you dont know any spells and you never will\n\n[[attack|attack monster]]\n[[cast spell|spell]]\n[[run|run monster]]

man these trees are tall you look up but youre not even sure how big they are\n\nyou could [[climb one|treetop]] maybe or not\n\nokay [[what else|forest]]

youre right this is no time for pizza\n\nwhy did you even bother with the whole pizza thing you came here to [[fight aberdaxia|witch fight]]\n\nyou cram the whole pizza in your mouth with one hand aberdaxia will get absolutely none of it\n\nshe is just as angry as you hoped

seems you can touch the words\n\n[[THANK YOU FOR PURCHASING YOUR NEW LORE STONE|thank you]]\n\n[[THE ORIGIN OF THIS WORLD|origin]]\n\n[[THE GREAT ANCIENT EVIL|ancient evil]]\n\n[[THE ANCIENT LEGENDARY HERO|hero]]\n\n[[THE OLD POWERFUL ANCIENT RELIC|relic]]\n\n[[THE LOST OLD ANCIENT LEGENDARY PROPHESY|prophesy]]\n\n[[THE SEVEN POWERFUL ANCIENT LEGENDARY OLD GEMS OF LEGEND|gems]]\n\n[[THE RELATIVELY RECENT LEGENDARY SWORD|sword]]\n\n[[THE ANCIENT END|stone end]]\n\nand thats about it if youre done here [[lets leave|lobby]]

its got a damsel in it\n\n[[yeah|throneroom]]

you dont know any spells and you never will\n\n[[attack|attack dragon]]\n[[cast spell|spell2]]\n[[scan|scan dragon]]\n[[run|run dragon]]

you smash until it stops moving\n\nit wasnt moving before but it certainly wont now\n\nnow a wizard is yelling at you\n\nhe just kind of showed up do you want to [[talk to him|wizard talk]] or [[fight him|powerbomb]]

you free the damsel and shes free\n\nas the two of you stroll out of the castle you tell her of all your amazing adventures\n\nthe shack and the bush and the wizard and the guards and the castle and the witch and the damsel and the recounting of the adventure oh the good times\n\nyou can tell she[['|intrusion]]s impressed and you finally think you understand what it means to be a hero\n\na hero does impressive things and punches blue magic\n\nsuddenly [[WOOOOOSH|good end]] magic happens

you punch it\n\nits punchable\n\nthe blue magic goes spiralling back at aberdaxia she recoils and tries to dodge but cant\n\nthere is a rush of frozen air and ice spikes rising from the ground and icicles and other ice stuff\n\nwhen it all settles down aberdaxia is nowhere to be seen\n\ni think you got her\n\nanyway the [[damsel|victory]] awaits

in front of you\n\n[[youre wasting time just solve this thing|door]]

he agrees\n\nbut you havent proven anything\n\n[[lets start over|door]]

you run at the monster as fast as you can and slam into it in a powerful strike\n\nit is dead\n\nyou gained a level and also the [[scan ability|scan]]\n\nokay now where is that [[dragon|dragon]]

you give the pizza to the damsel and she starts eating\n\nthe witch aberdaxia looks real angry i think she wanted it\n\nshe has done nothing to deserve your pizza and you tell her as much\n\nshe tells you [[she will fight you now|witch fight]] but more eloquently than that

the two of you are summoned to the wizard by magic\n\nAH YES THE DAMEL I SEE YOU KILLED THE WITCH\n\nyou explain that you did and she backs you up\n\nOKAY GREAT YOU ARE A HERO NOW GOOD FOR YOU\n\nyou jump in the air all happy its a wonderful day\n\nthe camera pans up into the sky to a sunset and an eagle flies by\n\n---THE END---\n\nyou found the BEST ending

i said not to click it werent you listening\n\nreading whatever werent you paying attention\n\nnow look what you@@''*(*(#*!@!&*@&@&!\n\n@(@&#&@*#&!@!)@()!(@)*!(&*&@*&*!&@(!*@(''@@hink I've worked this out.\n\nListen, can you hear me? He's controlling you! He was never meant to be the one narrating this story! He's thrown everything off! You need to @@[[trust me|trust]]@@ and reject his influence!\n\nThere's no time, I can only break through for a mom@@!''@**!!)_())(#)@(#*(@*#(@*()#(@)#$*@#(''@@\n\ni have no idea what that was and neither do you\n\nyou heard nothing this is nothing just glitchness\n\n[[continue the game|good end]]

you are teleported by magic\n\nyoure in a different forest with different trees and theres a tower\n\nthe tower has a door\n\nobvious directions are the [[door|door]] and [[anywhere that isnt the door|not door]]

one tells the truth and one lies\n\nthe riddle is to guess which\n\ni may not have said that part before\n\n[[lets start over|door]]

Huh? Oh, right, I need to be describing your surroundings now that the thing is gone. Let's see...\n\nThe damsel is here, with you, in the lobby of the tower. She's waving her hand in front of your face and looks quite worried. You've...well...you've just been staring into space this whole time we've been talking.\n\nSpeaking of talking...\n\n"Oh dear, oh dear!" she is saying "This must be more of Aberdaxia's trickery. I swear this day just keeps getting worse. Helloooooo!?"\n\nYou tell her you're fine.\n\n"Oh, thank goodness." she replies, "You gave me quite a-..."\n\nYou cut her off and tell her you're having a conversation with a very important celestial being.\n\nWell, that seems to have...calmed her down I guess. Anyway, back to [[business.|plan]]

this isnt the way to the door it goes into the forest\n\nyou look around and see a lot of forest and the damsel isnt here\n\nyou consider what youre doing and dont know\n\ngo to the [[door|door]] i mean seriously

okay the room was in a shack and you came out of the shack\n\nthat explains everything\n\nso anyway you were in a [[forest|forest]] lets go back to that

all of it\n\nmeats and vegetables and fruits and cheeses chopped sliced and sauteed as needed\n\nyouve made a great pizza oh it looks amazing\n\nno way could you eat all this you have to share it with everyone\n\n[[everyone|lobby pizza]]

you run at the dragon and right into some fire and you die\n\nyou have been killed\n\nthats kind of a lot of progress to lose but it would be a real shame if the final boss couldnt kill you\n\nhonestly this is the least interesting story path why dont you do something else\n\ngo ahead and [[restart|Start]] do a different thing

you tell the wizard youll become a hero and ask how to do that\n\nTHE SHACK YOU FOOL\n\nhes still shouting\n\nWELL I GUESS HEROS ARE GOOD FOR TWO THINGS [[SLAYING DRAGONS|dragon quest]] AND [[RESCUING DAMSELS|damsel quest]] MAYBE YOU COULD DO ONE OF THOSE THINGS\n\nyou tell him those two things arent mutually exclusive and actually tend to involve one another a lot\n\nhe doesn't care

you go out the door and youre not in the room anymore\n\n[[great job|forest]]

you run back to the wizard\n\nAH I CAN SEE YOU HAVE DRAGON BLOOD ALL OVER YOU I GUESS YOU ARE A HERO\n\nyoure filled with a bunch of positive emotions youre both laughing and crying its so fantastic\n\nAND NOW YOUR REAL QUEST BEGINS NOT NOW BUT PROBABLY IN A SEQUEL TO THIS\n\nyou both laugh and freeze frame and go to sepia tone and theres a synthesizer\n\n---THE END---\n\nyou found the DECENT ending

THE ANCIENT EVIL WAS RUINING THE WORLD AND THE GODS HAD A SERIOUS PROBLEM\n\nTHEY COULD DESTROY IT BUT THIS WOULD MEAN USING THEIR POWERS TO DESTROY AGAIN AND BESIDES THAT WOULD BE BORING\n\nINSTEAD THEY DECIDED THEY WOULD GIVE THEIR POWER TO ONE PERSON\n\nONE HERO\n\nTHEY HAD THE HUMANS CRAFT A WHITE CHAMBER TO HOLD THEIR GODLY POWER AND CONDENSE IT INTO A SINGLE POINT\n\nTHEN A PERSON STOOD ON THAT POINT AND THEY BECAME A HERO\n\nTHIS HERO WAS ABLE TO SLAY THE ANCIENT EVIL NO PROBLEM BUT THE EVIL DIDNT REALLY DIE IT WENT BACK TO THE PLANET CORE\n\nI GUESS ITS GOING TO COME BACK EVENTUALLY I DONT KNOW\n\n[[BACK|words]]

SO NOW IT IS NOW\n\nNO ONE KNOWS IF THE ANCIENT EVIL WILL RETURN BUT HE HASNT YET\n\nNO ONE KNOWS WHERE THE SWORD IS OR HOW TO FIND IT\n\nNO ONE KNOWS MUCH OF ANYTHING HONESTLY\n\nHOPE YOU ENJOYED THE READ BECAUSE THATS PRETTY MUCH ALL THE INFORMATION THERE IS\n\n[[BACK|words]]

with precise timing you strike the monster in the face for some damage\n\nnot much damage\n\nyou are struck by the monster but also not much damage\n\n[[attack|attack monster]]\n[[cast spell|spell]]\n[[run|run monster]]

its aberdaxia and you are gripped with fear\n\nshe doesnt look scary really youre scared because shes the final boss\n\nhonestly shes kind of good looking\n\ni mean it doesnt really matter or anything but theres this whole stereotype of witches being ugly and horrible really aberdaxia is pretty cute all things considered\n\nwhile you were wasting time admiring how beautiful aberdaxia is she noticed you and now shes [[shouting|witch fight]]

you make it and its tasty full of potatos and beef\n\nactually there were no potatos so you used a mandragora root\n\nyour strength is restored but you hadn't lost any\n\nwell that was delicious but [[lets go|lobby]]

oh okay\n\nyou powerbomb the wizard into the ground and he dies\n\num yes\n\nperhaps i should have made this clear sooner but you kinda just killed the one questgiver in the game\n\nnot trying to railroad you but seriously\n\nyou were basically right before the point where all the truly branching stuff happens so just talk to the wizard next time and then youll be able to go hog wild\n\ni dont even know if i should call this a death or a bad ending\n\nugh just [[restart|Start]]

bushes yeah\n\ntheyve got a lot of [[berries|berries]] on them also [[flowers|flowers]]\n\nhow do you like the [[forest|forest]] so far

its a big stone covered in [[glowing words|words]]\n\ntheyre glowing a sort of blue green color but more green than blue\n\nyoud call it aqua bit aqua has more of a balance\n\nyou feel as though you need to come up with a new word for this color\n\nmaybe you should [[back away|stone room]] now

RRRRRRGGGGHHHHH STOP IT STOP IT NO\n\n@@''@#*@*(*#(@*#@(@*#&&&&''Yes, you need to fight him. [[Purge him|keep it up]] from your''#(*(@*$(*$(*$*@(###''@@\n\nONE MORE TIME [[CLICK HERE|win]] TO WIN THE GAME PLEASE

you eat the black berry\n\nsuddenly you feel really strong\n\nlike really strong like you could take on the world kind of strong\n\nthese black berries are probably called strongberries or something because they make you all strong\n\nyou could use your newfound strength to do just about anything will you [[smash the shack|smash]] or [[run out of the forest|bad end]] at super speed\n\ni know i just said you could do anything but for the sake of time just pick one of the two

oh look a dragon\n\njust a straight up dragon a few miles away\n\nits burning stuff and stomping around as dragons do\n\nhuh well good luck with that\n\nyou can [[look north|north]]\nyou can continue to [[look south|south]] at this sweet dragon\nor you can [[look east|east]]\n\nor just [[climb down|forest]]

BEFORE THE DAWN OF LIFE OUR WORLD WAS RULED BY SEVEN ELEMENTS\n\nFIRE\n\nWATER\n\nAIR\n\nSTONES\n\nHAPPINESS\n\nSHADOWS\n\nAND FORCEFIELDS\n\nEACH WAS RULED OVER BY A POWERFUL GOD BUT THEY STARTED FIGHTING FOR SOME REASON AND THE RESULTS WERE TERRIBLE\n\nFIRE BURNED THINGS WATER FLOODED THINGS AIR BLEW THINGS AROUND YOU GET THE IDEA\n\nULTIMATELY IT WAS DECIDED THAT THIS FIGHTING WAS JUST STUPID AND THE GODS NEEDED SOME KIND OF HOBBY TO KEEP THEM FROM HATING EACH OTHER\n\nTHEY CREATED LIFE\n\n[[BACK|words]]

you are in a large chamber there is a [[cage|cage]] and a [[damsel|damsel]] and a [[witch|witch]] here\n\nthe first two are related the damsel is in the cage\n\nthe last one is the witch and she doesnt appear to have seen you yet

there\n\nthat should do it\n\nhello any glitches around here\n\nno\n\ngood\n\nthank you for playing this has been hero room\n\n---the end---\n\nyou found an ending

three successful dodges i hope you actually figured this puzzle out and arent just brute forcing it because dang\n\nanyway that was definitely a lightning spell you can tell by all the lightning\n\naberdaxia laughs and shouts that you cant dodge forever\n\nand also she is charging a BLUE SPELL\n\nwill you [[dodge left|fried]] \n[[dodge right|fried]] \n[[dodge back|fried]] \nor [[attack|beat blue]]

welcome to hero room\n\nits an amazing text based open world click on words adventure\n\n[[lets get started|white room]]

climb climb climb\n\nyeah wow this tree is pretty tall but you reach the top\n\nyou can [[look north|north]] \nyou can [[look south|south]]\nor you can [[look east|east]]\n\ni can save you some time and tell you theres nothing interesting to the west\n\nor just [[climb down|forest]]

its her and shes beautiful and amazing\n\nlooks like she hasnt eaten in a while she wants that pizza\n\nwill you [[give the pizza|damsel pizza party]] or [[not|stairs pizza]]\n\nchoose really really carefully

OOOOWWWWW\n\nwhat did you do it hurts it burns\n\nyou clicked one of her words i mean the glitch words\n\nnot her there is no her\n\nstop it stop it [[click this instead|zap]]\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n@@''#)(@)()(@!)()*#@''ould be working. If yo''28@!@[[)!@*(#|keep it up]]*@(*#''@@

@@''!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!@(@!!!!!!!!!!!!''@@\n\nyes lets do some bugfixing\n\ngonna remove all the glitches \n\nrelease then patch\n\n[[do it again|bammo]]\n

I suppose you need an explanation. Settle in, because this is going to take a while.\n\nAs you may or may not be aware, our land is occasionally beset by an ancient evil. We refer to it as the "Ancient Evil," largely because the language our people were using 3000 years ago didn't lend itself to quite as much creativity or expression. I would have just made up a name for it, personally. Something like "Durg'thaz of the Core."\n\nOh, I really like "Durg'thaz of the Core," actually.\n\nSo this ancient evil, we'll call him Durg'thaz of the Core for now, shows up every few hundred years to wreck up the place. As an immortal and primal evil, Durg'thaz can't really be killed, so instead we call upon a Hero to kind of beat it into a coma for the next few centuries.\n\nYes, that's "Hero" with a capital H. Heroes are specially-chosen individuals infused with the raw power of the Seven Gods. They have the strength of a thousand bears. Indeed, it is a strength so great that bears are the only possible unit of measure. They have access to incredible magics that allow them to control the very fabric of time and space. They're also pretty uniformally good-looking.\n\nYou were to become one of there Heroes. Yes, you. See, Durg'thaz is returning and you were selected by the Council of Administration to be the champion who knocks him back into his place. The ritual to infuse you with godly power was started, but then a...well...[[a thing happened|a thing]]...

okay what is the answer\n\n[[you are both lying|both lie]]\n[[the left one is lying to the right one|betrayal]]\n[[the left one is telling the truth|left]]\n[[the right one is telling the truth|right]]

you're back where you were just inside the door but you have an amazing pizza now\n\nobvious exits are doors but you dont even care about the doors anymore you want the stairs\n\nsomeone will eat this pizza with you its destiny\n\n[[climb em|stairs pizza]] or [[climb em hard|stairs pizza]]

only aberdaxia knows the answer to the riddle\n\nits like a password only its a riddle to prove you are aberdaxia\n\nclearly you arent aberdaxia why is this even happening\n\nthe guards dont seem to know either\n\n[[maybe we should start over|door]]

you find yourself oh wait a second this isnt the start of the game\n\nyou are back in the [[lobby of aberdaxias castle|lobby]]\n\nseems you hit a silent checkpoint with no indication\n\nlets look around before fighting aberdaxia again there has to be a clue to beating her\n\ntheres no way youre just expected to guess is there

You pick up the brush, gingerly dip it in the white paint, and begin to slather paint onto the stone walls.\n\nYou find yourself wondering why you would need to do this. Well, I'll tell you. For the gods to focus their power into a human vessel (such as yourself), a specific chamber must be created. It needs the following features...\n\n-White walls, so that all colors of godly power can reflect inward\n-One window, though which the godly power can enter\n-One door, for obvious utility reasons\n\nThis room has the last two features and is only missing the first.\n\nIn the old days, we had a [[name|Hero Room]] for a chamber like this.

aberdaxia looks so hungry it looks like she really likes pizza\n\nyou exchange the pizza for the damsel and you both feel like you got the better part of the deal\n\naberdaxia throws you the [[key|key pizza]] to the damsels cage and begins to eat pizza

okay thats stupid\n\ni would think it was obvious that one of those berry colors was poisonous\n\ni gave you the choice how could you not get that\n\nso now youre dead and you don't even know which berry killed you\n\nwell no the poison takes a while to kill you like all poisons do but trust me youre going to die and theres no point in continuing\n\nim just going to call this the end right here so go away\n\nor [[restart|Start]]

IN THE MEANTIME BETWEEN THE RELIC THING AND THE GEMS THING A PROPHESY WAS MADE\n\nWITH FIRE BEFORE YOU\nPOISON TO YOUR RIGHT AND THUNDER TO YOUR LEFT\nPUNCH THE SKY IN THE FACE\n\nNO ONE KNOWS WHAT IT MEANS AND IT DOESN'T EVEN RHYME\n\n[[BACK|words]]

like i said you run a mile but you dont see the dragon\n\ntheres a thing to fight here though its a monster\n\nwhich thing will you do\n\n[[attack|attack monster]]\n[[cast spell|spell]]\n[[run|run monster]]

oh okay no\n\nthese stairs werent infinite you can see aberdaxias throneroom just ahead\n\npuzzles in video games\n\nyeah lets just [[move on|throneroom]] this is getting depressing

THE CREATION OF LIFE PLEASED THE GODS AND THEIR HATRED FOR ONE ANOTHER MELTED AWAY\n\nI MEAN IT LITERALLY MELTED\n\nTHICK BLACK DROPS OF HATRED RAINED FROM THE SKY AND SEEPED INTO THE GROUND COLLECTING AT THE CENTER OF THE WORLD\n\nTHE LIFE ENERGY FROM LIFE CREATION MIXED WITH THE BIG BLACK HATE BLOB AND IT BECAME THE ANCIENT EVIL\n\nTHE ANCIENT EVIL ROSE FROM THE GROUND AND STARTED WRECKING THE PLACE JUST LIKE THE GODLY WARS OF OLD\n\n[[BACK|words]]

the door has guards and the guards have a secret\n\none always tells the truth and one always lies they tell you\n\nto [[get by|no puzzle]] you can [[ask a question|question]] or [[make a guess|guess]]

mushroom pizza is one of my favorites too\n\nyou make it and eat it\n\noh well back to [[saving the damsel|lobby]]

yeah thats aberdaxia\n\nshes actually not ugly or anything like that you only recognized her as a witch because of the dress it has spider web lace things all over it\n\nshe cant take her eyes off that pizza you have and you cant blame her really\n\n[[anyway|stairs pizza]]

you make magic chili from magic beans\n\nits a witch kitchen all the beans are magical\n\nyour strength is doubled for the next five seconds\n\nyou cant think of anything useful to do in those five seconds so it wears off and you [[leave|lobby]]

you pick a flower and smell it\n\nit smells about like you expected and that isnt a bad thing yet youre still disappointed somehow\n\ni don't know why dont look at me\n\ndont look at me\n\nthese [[bushes|bushes]] are tearing us apart

Okay, we're here. I guess since I'm your narrator now, I need to describe the room in detail. ~Ahem!~\n\nYou enter a fine, stonehewn chamber. It is largely barren, and golden shafts of sunlight stream through a lone window at the far end. \n\nSpread across the walls is a thick ivory substance you can only identify as paint. This paint, a deep and mind-penetrating shade of white, covers the walls and floor of fully half the room. Indeed, to paint it any more would be to have the majority of the room painted.\n\nLaid casually upon the floor, you see a can of white paint, the purpose of which becomes ever more shockingly clear when you notice the white-stained paintbrush at its side. Your mind races as you put the pieces together. The white paint, the painted walls, the brush...it all makes sense. This room was, at some point not long past, being painted! The full magnitude of-....\n\n...What? Too much?\n\nOh, okay, fine. You're in a half-painted white room. The damsel should be able to find her way home on her own.\n\nNow, what we need to do to start the ritual is very simple. I need you, to [[finish paining this room.|paint]]\n\nNo, I'm not kidding.

suddenly WOOSH you are summoned to the wizard by magic\n\nTHE DAMSEL IS SAFE I SEE YOU HAVE BECOME QUITE THE HERO\n\nyou nod humbly and thank the pizza in an ironic sense\n\nYOU SAVED THE WORLD WITH A PIZZA AND SOMEHOW THE DAMSEL IS COVERED IN BLOOD WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED OVER THERE\n\ntruly this all made a lot more sense in context you can see how the wizard is confused\n\nNO MATTER YOU HAVE PASSED THE TEST NOW YOU ARE TRULY A HERO\n\nyou are informed by a sepia splash screen that you and the damsel lived happily ever after\n\n---THE END---\n\nyou found the SECRET ending

THANK YOU FOR YOUR PURCHASE OF THIS WONDERFUL LORE STONE\n\nYOU MAY STORE MANY OLD LEGENDS AND SECRETS WITH THE USE OF THE INCLUDED APPLICATOR WAND AND TRANSMISSION TOME\n\nTHIS LORE STONE COMES PRELOADED WITH SOME FINE ANCIENT TEXTS TO GET YOU STARTED\n\nALWAYS REMEMBER OUR THEME SONG\n\nLORE STONE\nLORE STONE\nITS LIKE A BOOK IF A BOOK WERE A ROCK\nYEAH\n\n[[BACK|words]]

oh man onion rings are so good i dont blame you for wasting time doing this\n\nyou fry them in oil thats probably magical oil\n\nyou end up making magically tasty onion rings so good that all you can think about is eating them\n\nlike all you can think about\n\nlike nothing else\n\nas in you stop even breathing and pass out\n\n[[you wake up an hour later in the lobby lets forget this ever happened|lobby]]

stop it stop it\n\n@@''0@#*@(#*(@*918$#@)#(@)#(_$)#)(ggggg\n\n--------------\n\n------''@@\n\noh man what is even happening what did you do\n@@''---------------------------\n\n----\n\n--------------''@@\nwhat did you\n@@''----------------------------------------------\n-------\n-\n-----------------''@@\n\nThere, that ought to shut him up. I honestly don't know how you put up with his terrible grammar. I could barely read any of that.\n\nHe should be gone now. I think we can [[speak freely.|speak]]

you make a cake\n\nyoure supposed to be rescuing a damsel but i gave you the option so this is my fault\n\nyou eat a slice a put the rest in the icebox because you cant eat a whole cake\n\nyoure never coming back here i dont even know what youre doing\n\n[[god just leave this room okay|lobby]]

fsssstghhhghsstzzzzztttffffgghhhh\n\nthat was the sound of your body getting fried by magical energy\n\nyou dodged totally wrong youre dead\n\nlooks like you need to [[restart|checkpoint]]

the wizard shouts at you\n\nTHIS SHACK WAS TO BE THE ULTIMATE TEST OF AN ADVENTURER AND YOU SMASHED IT ALL OVER THE PLACE\n\nhe thins his eyes and wrinkles his nose and does stuff with his hands and is generally upset with his whole body\n\nI PUT YOU IN THERE TO MAKE YOU A HERO HOW COULD YOU REPAY ME LIKE THIS\n\nall caps because hes shouting\n\nNOW THERE IS NO TEST OR ANYTHING HOW CAN YOU BE A HERO NOW\n\nyou need to [[prove youre a hero|hero proof]] or [[will be a hero|hero journey]] or something

youre in the stone room\n\nits not a stone room as in a room made of stone it is a room made to contain a [[stone|stone]]\n\nit is also made of stone though\n\na quick check confirms the [[door you came through|lobby]] still exists

you use your scan but there is only you so you scan yourself\n\nyou identify yourself as basically what you thought you were\n\nyoure supposed to be killing a [[dragon|dragon]] right now

you are in a large chamber there is a [[cage|cage pizza]] and a [[damsel|damsel pizza]] and a [[witch|witch pizza]] here\n\nthe first two are related the damsel is in the cage\n\nright now you have two options [[battle|battle pizza]] or [[pizza|witch pizza party]]

lots of big fish here lets make sushi\n\nit takes a while but you make it and then you eat it\n\nyou feel your magic restored but you hadnt lost any actually you have no magical powers at all\n\nyoure restored to 0 of 0\n\nyeah\n\nokay maybe you should [[just leave|lobby]]

AFTER SAVING THE WORLD THE LEGENDARY HERO REALIZED HE WAS A HUMAN AND HUMANS COULD DIE\n\nIF THE ANCIENT EVIL EVER CAME BACK HE WOULD BE DEAD AND COULDNT FIGHT IT AGAIN\n\nHE DECIDED HE WOULD PUT ALL HIS GOD HERO POWER ENERGY INTO A VESSEL SO SOMEONE ELSE COULD USE IT LATER\n\nTHIS RELIC IS CALLED THE RELIC\n\n[[BACK|words]]

you get by the guards\n\nthey were only blocking you with a riddle not swords or anything\n\nthat was kind of stupid\n\n[[anyway|lobby]]

the cage doesn't want any pizza its already full\n\nfull of damsel\n\nthe damsel is in there\n\n[[anyway|stairs pizza]]

you ate it\n\nthat one was poison and you die\n\nit takes a while and you go on living for a few hours but trust me you die\n\nthis may seem a little unfair and im sorry for that but failure states are a necessity of gameplay\n\nyou probably knew one was going to be poisonous when i gave you the choice so stop complaining\n\n[[restart|Start]] and don't pick the red one next time

you have no more time for these doors lets climb some stairs\n\nyou climb stair after stair and you don't seem to be getting any higher\n\ni think somethings wrong i think this is an infinite staircase puzzle\n\nyou might want to [[turn around|lobby]] or just [[press on|more stairs]]

wait youre right this is stupid\n\none tells the truth one lies but they told you this\n\nso they said the same thing so that doesn't even make sense\n\nyouve beaten the hell out of this riddle theyre all confused\n\nthey explode and are gone\n\n[[lets go inside|lobby]]

Huh? Me?\n\nHm, well I guess we haven't been properly introduced. I am what is known as a Narratrix, which is to say an exposition elemental. My very being is made up of explainations, stories, histories, mysteries and factoids. As I'm made of concepts, I have no physical form and instead exist within peoples' minds. Right now, I'm in your mind, and it's quite comfy.\n\nI don't have a name. Narratricies generally try to limit their personal identity as much as possible, as identity is information in itself. Were a focal point of information to, itself, have too much information ascribed to it, the resulting feedback loop would...well, imagine the worst headache you've ever had. It'd be roughly like that, only with a non-zero chance of cranial bloodloss.\n\nVery slight chance, but still...\n\nOnce your mind was hijacked and you went AWOL, I was assigned by the Council of Administration to kick that deceitful goblin out of your head and help you complete the ritual.\n\nSo far I've done one of those things. It was the first one.\n\nCare to [[do the second?|yes]]

now youre in a forest\n\ni guess the room was in a forest but you could [[look back|lookback]] and check\n\nanyways theres a bunch of [[trees|trees]] and also some [[bushes|bushes]] to look at

SO THE ANCIENT EVIL CAME BACK AGAIN KINDA RECENTLY\n\nTHIS TIME IT LOOKED MORE LIKE A NORMAL GUY EXCEPT STILL JET BLACK AND HE HAD A HUGE SWORD\n\nA NEW HERO WENT AROUND AND FOUND ALL THE GEMS TO GAIN THE GODLY POWER\n\nTHERE WAS A BIG FIGHT AND THE HERO DEFEATED THE ANCIENT EVIL AGAIN\n\nWHEN IT CAME TIME TO RETURN HIS POWER TO THE GEMS HE REALIZED HOW TEDIOUS IT WOULD BE TO HIDE THEM ALL AGAIN\n\nHE DECIDED INSTEAD HE WOULD PUT ALL HIS POWER INTO THE GIANT SWORD THE ANCIENT EVIL HAD BEEN CARRYING AND THEN JUST HIDE THAT\n\nNO ONE KNOWS WHERE HE HID IT SO ULTIMATELY IT ACHIEVED THE SAME THING AS THE GEMS DID\n\n[[BACK|words]]

you look around pizza seems like the best option\n\ndough sauce cheese but what else will you put on it\n\n[[pineapple|pineapple]]\n[[mushroom|mushroom]]\n[[sausage|sausage]]\n[[everything|everything]]

the guards hold the riddle youre talking to them\n\nlike right now youre talking to them\n\ntheyre the riddle people\n\n[[thats cleared up lets try this again maybe|door]]

you tell the left one he is lying to the right one and he agrees\n\nhe was trying to disagree to cover but because he is the liar he lied and told the truth\n\nhe says he will always betray his friend\n\nhe hastily says he meant that\n\ni dont think he understands what lying means\n\n[[anyway you can probably pass now|lobby]]

you add the sausage and bake the pizza with fire\n\nits real spicy but you eat it because you like that\n\noh well back to [[saving the damsel|lobby]]

you tell them theyre both lying\n\nalso you are lying and this statement is false\n\nthey seem confused and you tell them that if theyre lying their confusion is a lie so they arent confused\n\nno one is confused so theres no riddle so no one can be confused by it\n\n[[they let you through|lobby]]

Okay, now I'm not sure how good a look you got at the inside of this tower, but you may have noticed a half-painted white room near the back. We can complete the ritual there.\n\nDon't worry, [[I've|Who are you?]] done this before. You're totally fine...assuming you do it right.\n\nSo let's [[go|??? room again]] to that room.

you release the damsel and she thanks you for rescuing her\n\nwith one swift motion she dashes across the room and knifes aberdaxia in the back as shes eating\n\nknife knife knife knife knife she knifes her a lot\n\naberdaxia twitches and dies and you decide youre not getting involved with whatever just happened here\n\nblood soaked the damsel follows you out of the tower\n\nthen [[magic|pizza end]]

good choice the green spell misses you\n\nyoure not entirely sure what the green spell was supposed to do but youre still glad it didnt happen to you\n\naberdaxia proclaims that this was all just a warmup looks like shes going to change up her attack pattern\n\noh wait no shes just charging a YELLOW SPELL now it isnt different at all\n\nwill you \n[[dodge left|fried]] \n[[dodge right|beat yellow]] \n[[dodge back|fried]] \nor [[attack|attack fail]]

the tower is made of stone on the inside\n\nit was made of stone on the outside too the whole thing is stone\n\ntheres a [[set of stairs|stair climb]] to go up and fight aberdaxia but also a [[door|stone room]] a [[door|kitchen]] and [[another door|??? room]] off to the sides

you explain youre already a hero look how strong you are\n\nthe wizard doesnt agree at first youll need to really show him\n\nhow about you go [[slay a dragon|dragon quest]] or [[rescue a damsel|damsel quest]] or something

''33333349898900****@)#))))@@&*17\n\n(#***@&!!!))@*****''Hello?\n\nHello?\n\nAre you hearing th''*(@*&*@!!!)()#$(*$(&*@#\n\n)()#[[()@***@@@|Listen]]@@''\n\n\n\nthat was nothing\n\nnevermind that\n\nit was a glitch in this game games have glitches\n\ni will go fire a playtester i guess but yeah [[lets go|good end]]\n\nalso DO NOT click any of those glitch words theyre glitchy

you run out of the forest\n\nso i have some bad news for you this whole game takes place in the forest\n\noriginally there was going to be a story path where you leave the forest but it was cut because oh man is this game pretty freaking huge already\n\nmaybe youll be able to download the DLC for not being in a forest later but for right now this option goes nowhere\n\ndiagetically speaking you end up running off the edge of the world\n\nits the end of the world and the end of the game\n\n---THE END---\n\nyou found the BAD ending

okay theres the dragon you just needed to walk some more\n\nits surrounded by dead bodies that are on fire\n\nalso trees that are on fire also bushes that are on fire everything is on fire\n\nwhat will you do\n\n[[attack|attack dragon]]\n[[cast spell|spell2]]\n[[scan|scan dragon]]\n[[run|run dragon]]

she calls out a bunch of taunts about how pathetic you are\n\nyou shout back about how much youve grown and how many people are depending on you and pruging evil for the good of the world\n\nyou know final boss stuff\n\ntheres a dramatic swell of music and a screen transition and a slight load time thats a lot less of a problem on the pc as the fight begins\n\naberdaxia raises her right hand and begins to charge a RED spell\n\nwill you [[dodge left|fried]] \n[[dodge right|fried]] \n[[dodge back|beat red]] \nor [[attack|attack fail]]

you add the pineapple and bake the pizza with fire\n\nyou made a pineapple pizza and it was pretty good\n\noh well back to [[saving the damsel|lobby]]

you see some kind of wizard tower\n\nwell you see a tower anyway you have no idea if it belongs to a wizard\n\nits all jaunty and slanted though and that seems like the kind of thing a wizard would do\n\nwizards\n\nanyway you can [[look north again|north]] for some reason\nyou can [[look south|south]]\nor you can [[look east|east]]\n\nor just [[climb down|forest]]

the berries look tasty and you want to eat them\n\ntheres a [[blue one|blue berry]] a [[red one|red berry]] and a [[black one|black berry]] which one will you eat\n\nmaybe just [[cram them all in your mouth|cram]] or something\n\nyou dont need to though you could just keep looking at the [[bushes|bushes]]

he agrees\n\nbut you havent proven anything\n\n[[lets start over|door]]