Tourette's Man

You are sitting in a science classroom. The teacher drones on for thirty minutes about Cellular Respiration. Your mind begins to wander. Suddenly, you feel a familiar itch in your brain, and you have the desire to twitch your fingers. [[Control your impulse?]] [[Let it happen?]]

You try to hold it back, but just like holding back a sneeze or a yawn, you know that you're only postponing the inevitable. You decide to just give in. [[Let it happen?]]

Your fingers begin to twitch. You barely notice that your mouth is also moving and you're making strange noises. Your mind completely shuts off the outside world and you go into full daydream mode. You begin to act out a movie idea that you had a while back, and your twitching fingers and mouth simulate all of the action in your movie. You imagine a crew of skydivers filming the action from a first person POV, and you are excited by this new project. As you finish watching the movie in your head, you notice that the itch in your mind is gone. You feel relieved, as one would feel after scratching an itch. You stop twitching. [[Come back to the real world]]

You notice that all of your classmates are looking at you. Even the teacher has stopped teaching and is looking at you. You slouch in your seat and wonder what you should do to stop the silence. [[Explain yourself to the class]] [[Just apologize]] [[Turn the situation around with a clever joke]]

You decide to quickly explain your condition to the class. You state that you have Tourette's syndrome, which contrary to popular belief, involves more than just randomly swearing. You tell the class that 1 out of 360 children has Tourette's syndrome, and symptoms can range from small tics, such as blinking, to bigger and more noticeable tics, such as barking like a dog. Your tics only appear when you're bored, excited, or nervous, and they don't really stop you from doing anything that you want to do. You end your speech, well aware that it took way too long to explain. "That's fascinating," your professor says. "This is going to be an interesting year." The class laughs at this comment, and you laugh along, too. You don't know, however, if the class is laughing with you or laughing at you. You probably will never know for sure. [[Go Home]]

You bow your head and croak out the words "Sorry, my bad". The class laughs and quickly returns to the lecture. You don't say anything for the rest of class. [[Go Home]]

You lay on the couch, bored out of your mind. You want to watch something on Netflix, but nothing strikes your fancy. You realize that you'd rather watch something with someone else present. A friend, maybe. You pull out your phone and wonder which of your friends you should call. [[Call Corbin]] [[Call Aaron]] [[Call Ethan]]

Corbin comes over. You haven't seen him in a while, and you're excited to spend some quality time with him. The two of you decide to watch Back to the Future. You've seen this movie many times before, so despite the movie's awesomeness, your attention begins to wander. You notice that old familiar itching in your fingers. You wonder if you should give in to your impulse to twitch them. [[Cover it up]] [[Do it]]

Aaron comes over, and you decide to watch your favorite show Breaking Bad because Aaron has never seen it. During the show, you become excited by all of the suspense. You begin to twitch your fingers and make soft popping sounds with your lips. Suddenly, Aaron begins to talk. "Hey, can I ask you a question?" "Sure," you respond. "I was thinking about your hand thingy, and I was wondering...do you think that you can stop? Like, if you tried harder or focused harder, would it go away?" The question, although you've heard it before, still surprises you. You think about how you are going to respond. [[Answer "No"]] [[Answer "maybe"]] [[Answer "Yes"]] [[Don't answer]]

You try to think of a clever joke to lighten the situation. You think of telling everyone that you're just rehearsing for the upcoming battle of the bands, comparing your tics to that of a seizure, or quoting a bit from a stand-up special that you watched the night before. You eventually realize that you have been sitting in silence for a long time, and there isn't much you can say to help the situation. You decide to just laugh and say, "It's a long story". The class soon returns to the lecture. You laugh a little and hope that you'll get a chance to personally explain your condition to some of your classmates later. [[Go Home]]

You quickly tell him that no, it probably won't ever go away. Scientists haven't invented a cure for Tourette's, so most likely it will be with you for the rest of your life. You explain that for some people, the severity of their tics can decrease over time, but that hasn't happened with you. You bluntly tell him that your tics are a part of you that won't disappear, and other people need to accept that. Aaron seems to take it okay, but you notice that he seems more reserved. "I was just curious. That's all. You don't have to get all defensive." You take a deep breath, then turn back to watch the show. [[It's getting late]]

You hesitate, then respond with a "maybe". You explain how some children who develop Tourette's syndrome can grow out of it, or have their symptoms decrease over time. However, you've had these tics since you were 3 years old, and you explain to him that you honestly don't see these tics going away anytime soon. He says that he understands, and that he was simply curious about your ability to control it. You resume your program, relieved that the conversation didn't get out of hand. [[It's getting late]]

You decide not to answer. You give a noncommittal shrug and turn back to the program. It frustrates you how many times you have to answer this question, and tonight, you'd rather focus on being with your friend. Besides, you don't really have an answer to give, since you know that most people can't understand why you can't say "yes". [[It's getting late]]

Ethan comes on over, and you begin to watch 30 Rock, your favorite comedy. During the show, you begin to feel that familiar itch in your hands whenever a particularly funny line is delivered. You wonder if you should control it for the sake of your friend or just go crazy. [[control it for his sake]] [[Go Crazy]]

Ha! You think you can control it? That's cute. [[Do it]]

You start and stop twitching your fingers constantly throughout the movie. You casually look over at Corbin and notice that he looks irritated. After the movie ends, Corbin turns off the tv and turns to you. "Look, we need to talk," Corbin states abruptly. You are slightly taken aback, but you agree to talk to him. "You've got to stop doing that hand thing. It's super annoying. I could barely focus on the movie because you were twitching so much. You need to get rid of it, ASAP. Seriously, have you ever thought about how your future wife is going to react to this? It's not healthy. At all. You need to start acting like an adult." You're stunned. You've never had anyone react this way before to your twitching. You don't know how to respond. What should you say? [["You don't understand""]] [["You are absolutely right"]] [["Do you want some Doritos?"]]

"You don't understand," you quickly tell him. "It's not something that can be turned on and off with the flick of a switch. I just feel an impulse, and I react." "No, you don't understand!" he shouts back. "You don't get it. Humans are social beings, and what you are doing isn't socially acceptable. It's anti-social. It turns people off. I'm only trying to help you, man. You need to cut it out as soon as possible. I'm not saying that it'll be easy, but I know that with great effort on your part, you'll be able to overcome this obstacle." You sit there, numb from what he has told you. You always liked Corbin, but this outburst seems totally out of character. You thought that he knew you better than this. You go make some sandwiches for the two of you and try to forget what has just occurred. [[It's getting late]]

You quickly realize that's not going to happen. You will twitch whether you like it or not. [[Go Crazy]]

You gaze down at your hands and twitch your fingers, replaying the funny moments from the show in your mind. After the itch goes away, you look up and notice that Ethan is looking at you and laughing. "Sorry, does that bother you?" you ask Ethan. "No, not really," he responds. "I think it's funny, and it seems like you like doing it. Almost like you're addicted to it." "Well, yeah, I guess," you hesitantly respond. "I mean, it's like when you have an itch or you can feel a sneeze coming on. You can try to hold it back, but eventually it's going to come out. It's like a release. It builds up, and then pressure releases. But it's not an addiction." "It kinda seems like it's an addiction," Ethan comments. "You seem to like it. It gives you pleasure, and I don't think you want it to go away." You pause. You had never considered if you even WANTED it to go away. This little "quirk" has been with you so long that you've gotten used to it. It is normal for you. You awkwardly laugh at Ethan's comment and continue watching the show in silence. [[It's getting late]]

You pick up Sarah and you both get in the car. You didn't plan the details of the date with enough forethought. When she inevitably asks, "So what are we doing?", you frantically think of where you want to go. [[Go to the movies]] [[Cafe Rio is around the corner]] [[Why not play a board game?]]

You decide to go see the latest thriller at the multiplex. She seems interested, and you begin talking about your favorite films. When you arrive, you quickly buy your tickets, a bucket of popcorn, two sodas, and some candy (you really like this girl, so you're spending the big bucks). You enter the theater with Sarah and find some seats near the back. The movie starts, and you quickly become bored with the film's predictable plot. Your mind begins to wander and you feel the urge to twitch your hands. Without thinking, you begin to twitch your fingers and make strange noises with your mouth. "What are you doing?" she asks you. You immediately stop twitching and you look up at her. You pause, thinking about what you should tell her. [[Tell her the truth]] [[Make something up]]

You decide to take her to Cafe Rio. The food is good, and it will give you ample opportunity to talk with her and get to know her better. You order your food, find a table, and begin to talk. You quickly learn that you both have a lot in common. You like the same movies, music, and you both have 3 brothers and an older sister. You tell a lame pun, and she laughs. You share stories. The night seems to be going well. After a while, a lull in the conversation arises and you focus on eating your pork burrito. All at once, you feel that same strong impulse to twitch your fingers. You begin to freak out a little. You don't want to do it in front of your date, but you feel the impulse getting stronger. What do you do? [[Don't do it in front of Sarah!]] [[Give in to your strange impulse]]

You quickly realize that this is a stupid idea, and that no girl in their right mind would want to play monopoly on the first date. But you still have no plan. [[Go to the movies]] [[Cafe Rio is around the corner]]

You try to explain the best that you can about your condition. She seems to understand when you tell her about neurological tics and Tourette's syndrome. However, due to the environment, you are not able to go into deeper territory, so you're forced to simplify everything and speak in whispered tones. You turn back to watch the movie and hope that she understands your cliff notes version of your disorder. [[End Date]]

"This? Oh, I was just practicing for a piano recital," you reply. "Oh, really? You play piano?" "Yeah, I've been playing for about 10 years." You talk quietly for a while about this, then you both return to the movie. You feel bad that you chickened out and didn't tell her the truth. You tell yourself that you don't know how she will react, and you don't want to scare her off on the first date. You figure that if the relationship goes anywhere, you'll eventually have to tell her about your condition. But now is not the time. [[End Date]]

You walk up to Sarah and nervously ask her out. Surprisingly, she says yes, and asks what time you'll pick her up on Saturday. You check your schedule (which is blank) and tell her that you'll pick her up around 7. She smiles, you exchange phone numbers, and she leaves. [[Go on date]]

While walking home from class, you see Sarah, a cute girl from your English class. You have had your eye on her for a while now, and you are finally free for the weekend. You consider asking her out for a night on the town. [[Ask Sarah out]] [[Chicken out]]

Oh, come on. Don't be a wimp. Just ask her. [[Ask Sarah out]] [[No, I don't want to]]

Seriously? She's really pretty. You're passing up a pretty big opportunity here, man. [[Ask Sarah out]] [[Dude, leave me alone!!]]

You decide not to ask Sarah out. You go off into a corner and stare at the wall, letting everything exciting in life happen around you while you do nothing. You die alone. Are you happy now? [[Beginning]]

You look at the clock and realize that it's almost midnight. Remembering that you have class at 8 tomorrow, you politely ask your friend to leave. You are exhausted and you go to bed, still thinking about the night's events. [[Wake up and go to school]]

You admit to him that he is absolutely right. You should learn to control your spastic tics through sheer willpower, and your inability to do so makes you less of a man. You tell him that of course no woman would want to marry a man who can't control his most basic, illogical impulses. You agree that you'll make a more conscious effort to control your tics. Corbin seems pleased, but you're pretty sure that he detected your sarcasm. You can't wait until he leaves so that you can scream into a pillow. [[It's getting late]]

You offer him some Doritos. He sighs and takes some, realizing that you are refusing to respond to his statements. He eats the chips, pauses, then turns back to you. "Seriously, though," he replies, "Think about what I said." You spend the rest of the night making small talk and trying to forget everything that he said. [[It's getting late]]

You head off to your early morning New Testament class. You sit down and pull out your notebook and pencil. You start to feel bored, and that familiar desire starts once again. You begin to twitch your fingers. A girl sitting next to you suddenly asks, "Hey, do you play the guitar?" You stop twitching and look at her. "Your hands," she says, "It looks like you're practicing the guitar. Do you play?" You pause. You're not sure if you know this girl well enough to tell her the truth. However, there wouldn't be anything wrong with telling this random girl about your condition. [[Lie]] [[Tell Her About It]]

"Yeah, I do play guitar. Sometimes when I'm bored, I like to practice," you quickly tell her. "Oh, ok" she responds, and she turns back into the front of the class. You sit back and wonder why you lied about your condition to her. You reason that you just get so tired of explaining it to everyone that it's just easier to tell her what she wants to hear. You try to forget about the incident and focus on the class. [[Class is over]]

"Actually, I have Tourette's Syndrome," you tell her. "Really?!? Wow, that's crazy! Isn't that the disease where you randomly shout out swear words?" You sigh, remembering that in most movies, this is the only way that Tourette's Syndrome is portrayed. But you try to look past the fact that your affliction is often used as a cheap joke in comedies, and you quickly explain that random swearing, or copropraxia, is just one of the many different symptoms of Tourette's Syndrome. In fact, it is exceedingly rare, affecting less than 5% of people with Tourette's. You explain that most cases involve minor motor tics and some strange verbal tics. You realize that once again, you have explained far too much. She nods in understanding and turns to face the front of the class. You sigh, relieved that most people seem to understand, at least to a certain degree. You're relieved that at least people don't react to your tics like you're possessed by a demon, like they would have in the past. You turn back to the front of the class and try to pay attention. [[Class is over]]

If you've gotten this far into the game and you are still clicking on this option, shame on you. If this is your first time clicking this option, then you're out of luck, because it's gonna happen. Soon. [[Give in to your strange impulse]]

You look down at your hands as they begin to twitch. You're so nervous that as you twitch, you replay everything that has been going right so far and you begin to go through situations of what could possibly go wrong. Your fingers twitch faster and you begin to roll your tongue. You suddenly hear your name, and you immediately stop. You look up and see Sarah looking at you. "Is everything ok?" she asks you. Your worst fear has happened: she has seen your strange tics. It's too late to go back now. You're wondering what you should do in order to salvage the situation. [[Confess]] [[Change the subject]]

"I had a good time tonight," Sarah says as you walk her to her door. "Me, too" you reply. You really did have a wonderful time, in spite of the incident. You talk for a second, then you say goodnight and leave her there. As you drive back to your apartment, you reflect on the night's events and wonder if you made a good impression. You wonder if she'll be able to handle your tics, and you hope that it doesn't ruin your chances of getting a second date. You enter your kitchen and look into the fridge. You are suddenly very thirsty, and you wonder what you have to drink. You spot a half gallon of milk and a can of Dr. Pepper. You're not sure which one you'd rather drink. [[Drink milk]] [[Drink soda]]

You want to tell him that yes, you are able to stop, but you know that it's not true. If it were that simple, it wouldn't be a problem at all. You reevaluate what you are going to say to him. [[Answer "No"]] [[Answer "maybe"]] [[Don't answer]]

As you lay on the couch and drink your pasteurized, 2% milk, you begin to feel pessimistic about your future prospects. You wonder if any girl will be able to look past your tics and see you as a normal human being. You wonder how many people secretly think that you're weird and talk bad about you behind your back. You wonder if it'll prevent you from getting employment. You wonder what it's like to be normal, and you quickly realize that you don't have any reference point for "normal". This is how you've always been, and most likely this is how you are always going to be. You eventually realize that you're being silly. You have plenty of friends, and most of them seem to cope with your condition, even if they don't completely understand. You've pretty much come to terms with your condition, and you're grateful that your condition is not worse and allows you to function as a person. At least you don't have coprolalia (random swearing). That would make church very interesting. You realize that it doesn't do any good to reflect on the negative aspects of your disorder, and you realize that you've actually been very blessed. You finish your milk and head to your room, tired from everything that's happened. You need your sleep. You've got a long day ahead of you. [[Beginning]]

As you lay on the couch drinking your Dr. Pepper, you begin to reflect on your life, and you realize that despite the challenges, things are going great. You realize that despite the weirdness of your tics, you still have a lot of friends and it's never affected your personal life or your education in any significant way. It may be annoying to explain to every new person that you meet that you have Tourette's syndrome, but most people seem to understand, or at the very least sympathize, with your condition. In fact, some people think that it's really cool. You also remember that it could be a lot worse. Some people have tics so severe that they injure themselves or can't walk correctly because their legs spasm and they constantly fall down. In hindsight, you have been very blessed. You feel that your disorder has helped you to be more empathetic to others who suffer from mental conditions. You know what it's like to be different and weird. It makes life interesting. You finish your soda and go to your room to go to sleep and further reflect on the night's events. You need your rest. You've got a long day ahead of you. [[Beginning]]

You decide that there's no way to cover it up. You tell her about your disorder and what that entails. She seems really curious and asks you more questions about it. You answer her questions, relieved that she seems to be taking it well. You don't know how she'll react in the long term, however, and that makes you a little nervous. Eventually, you both move on and begin to talk about other subjects. You are glad that it didn't seem to ruin the date. [[End Date]]

"Oh, that? That's nothing. Just messing around. Anyway, have you ever been to Brazil? It's quite lovely down there," you quickly respond. You decide that you don't want to bring it up on the first date. You just met her, and you don't want to scare her off. You continue discussing random things, and thankfully you are so focused on the conversation that your strange impulses don't come back. [[End Date]]