#**The Meandering Mind**
By Mihir Modak
(set: $Purchase to 0) (set: $Refinery to 0) (set: $Seenall to 0)
(set: $Streak to 0) (set: $Noise to 0) (set: $Consequences to 0)
(set: $Seenall2 to 0) (set: $Wait to 0) (set: $Stress to 0)
(set: $Seenall3 to 0) (set: $Dealt to 0) (set: $Gadget to 0)
(set: $SeenallA to 0) (set: $SeenallB to 0) (set: $Collapsing to 0) (set: $SeenallC to 0) (set: $SeenallD to 0) (set: $SeenallE to 0)(set: $Doing to 0) (set: $SeenallF to 0) (set: $SeenallG to 0) (set: $Blue to 0)
You stare at the changing numbers. There isn’t much else to do besides that right now. Well, that and…thinking about them. One by one, they count down. You’re bored. You’ve seen this a thousand times and here’s ONE more. And guess what, it’s still the same.
The same as that one time you had that really delicious [[Bread]].
Pretty amazing, wasn’t it? Would go great with some of the nice [[Ale]] distilled with the [[Shard-Streamers]]. What was it called again? Ah yes, a [[Pretzel]]. Mmm. That’d be just lovely right about now.
You can almost taste the deep, malty flavor unique to the Forkleys’ home-made drink. You’d come several times with Alick and Cetty. And it’s a great place too. Great atmosphere, what with the shard-shades for lighting, luminous plants along the corners and in the center, a majestic statue of Sir Lyon, unanimously voted Mayor of the city.
It had become the usual haunt to visit whenever the three of you were done with the day’s work. A stop at the place and spending some time working on your formula, listening to Cetty’s excited explanations and Alick’s hilarious [[Jokes]]. That’s how it was, and it seems, that’s how it may not be any longer…
Ah yes, the first memory you have of them are with your friend Alec Karrick. He became your first friend in the city, ever since you actually started stepping out from your workshop. He was always planning his great Leyline, a connection to and from the four corners of the city! He didn’t care much for exercise, but was quite particular about eating good, nutritious food.
Unfortunately, sweet things just escaped his control and before you knew it, he’d be wolfing down some strange dessert, his long, dark hair wildly waving all over the place. Just an hour later, he’d come and complain how his stomach hurt and how he’d never have it again. Yet a week following that, he’d find something else that sated his need. You used to just call him [[‘A Lick’]], and he always got mad about that particular phrasing of the letters.
Interestingly shaped pieces of bread, oh yes. Just like a certain familiar female friend of yours. Recette Jenner. A nice sounding name, to say the least. Cetty, as she is called, would always like wearing her hair in a new style every week. It’d be interesting to see how each style would reflect her general mood. You’d met her many times and she always had a new gadget with her. For that’s what they looked like. But all that mattered was how animated and excited she used to look while explaining the way it worked.
It didn’t really matter how it worked, rather that she was continuing to speak with you. Just that would be enough at times, with perhaps a playful [[Jab]] or tease from you. Soon, her energy would infect you and you’d be caught up in an intense discussion on your research as well.
Fun times, weren’t they?
Speaking of licking, damn. What a word to use for the action of slicing of small pieces of the energy shards. “Look at the shards”, you remember telling Alick once, “Alick”, oh yes, it fits so well. Ahem, where were you, ah yes, the lickers. You were showing him a piece you had obtained yourself. “A [[Purchase]],” you explained. An excuse, clearly, but one that would work on him, given your experience with him over the years.
(set: $Purchase to 1)
(if: $Refinery is 1)[(set: $Seenall to 1)]
(if: $Refinery is 1 and $Gadget is 1)[(set: $SeenallA to 1)]
There was no reason, you simply wanted to see it for yourself. Your refinery used one too. Just one small slice. Surely no one would notice. And was it worth it! It had a strange yellowish gleam, and a small sparkle that seemed to grow outwards, until it spread just a hair’s breadth around the crystal.
You’d find a use for it. Maybe you could make something…
(if: $SeenallA is 1)[No, think about the numbers. The [[numbers|Gadget]] on the gadget!]
(else:)[Wait, what was that about [[Bread]]?]
She was very defensive about her work. All things considered though, she was quite good at it. And whatever she made, definitely seemed to help your [[Refinery]] do its job better. All the more reason for you to be actually paying attention to how her things worked, but you’d get to that sooner or later.
(set: $Refinery to 1)
(if: $Purchase is 1)[(set: $Seenall to 1)]
(if: $Purchase is 1 and $Gadget is 1)[(set: $SeenallB to 1)]
Your refinery certainly had been delivering really well hadn’t it? As a matter of fact, it would definitely not be an issue if you took a piece of that really interesting Shard, maybe just a lick…
(if: $SeenallB is 1)[Nevermind, forget that. Focus on the task at [[hand|Gadget]]!]
(else:)[Hmm, what was it you were doing [[again|Bread]]?]
It had all started with a simple joke you had made. Alick had not taken it well. As an afterthought, it seemed pretty silly to say it but given that You were the one who had actually got a Lick with you, calling Alick a Lickerson hadn’t been the brightest of ideas, especially when he had gone through a lot just to purchase his own Shard and set up a Leyline. Shards were easy to come by; they were small enough, unlike Cores or Linkstones but it was setting up a new Leyline that was the tough part.
It was essentially an extension of the energy grid, and it needed a lot of grants, proposals and signatures. Certainly not an easy task to please all those involved. That’s what landed you in front of these numbers. These small red numbers, as they slowly ticked down, one by one, with a rising hum coming from the [[Gadget]] they were linked to…
(set: $Gadget to 1)
Ah yes, the ‘gadget’ in this case, is a bomb. And it’s ticking. But you have no idea how you can stop it.
(if: $Seenall is 1 or $SeenallA is 1 or $SeenallB is 1)[You simply don’t have the right [[Cards]] in your hand.]
(else:)[What was that about [[Bread]] again?]
Always fun aren’t they? A good game of Solquix when you’re alone, and numerous other [[Games]] when you’re amongst others, your favorite being Piscatoris. In fact, you remember, there were several times you won against Alick at the Forkley’s. There was one particular game of Piscatoris that struck you strange out of them all however.
That one was with you, Alick, Cetty, one of the Forkley twins and a stranger. This stranger was weird. She had this look of loss on her face. She kept talking about how she had been kicked out of the ‘Guild’, which Cetty later told you meant [[Ley-Liners Guild]]. One of the most prominent and important guilds involved in the expanse of the [[Empire]].
What better way to pass the time with your friends? And with Piscatoris, you could do all you loved and have fun with the others too! There were gadgets to interact with, formulas to think of, and cards to play. Cards needed to be used in the right order. It was simple: Red first, then Orange, Blue and finally Green.
You’d have to use the right formulas along with the right colored cards, in order to finish the gadget, and it was fun, it was a lot of fun. In fact, you got so good at it, you brought Alick and Cetty into the fold and soon the three of you were literally winning Streak after [[Streak]] at the Forkley’s. What a ball you all had!
You were quite ignorant back then, weren’t you, considering that your Refinery was one of the contractors for this guild! Then again, you did have quite a few contractors, and with you being the great mind you were, had simply chosen to ignore all this background [[Noise]] as you liked to call it.
Utter bliss indeed, until it came biting back to you like that woman. It seemed like there were unpleasant people all around the city those days. Sheesh.
Oh, oh! A fun topic at last! For what it was worth, at least… Well, The Great Gavanastrian Empire had been running things for quite a while now. More like the past 2 centuries. But that all didn’t matter, you remember telling your friends. Because, soon, if the rumors were right, it would all come [[Collapsing]] down on itself. And what a riot it would be! But you controlled yourself, as Alick reminded you that it would have serious [[Consequences]] if it really came to pass.
Bah, you got distracted again. What were you thinking?
(set: $Streak to 1)
(if: $Noise is 1 and $Consequences is 1)[(set: $Seenall2 to 1)]
(if: $Noise is 1 and $Consequences is 1 and $Collapsing is 1)[(set: $SeenallC to 1)]
It was during one of these that this suspicious group had appeared. Had they been observing your ‘games’ a little too closely? Did they want the real thing? Was it because you’d got a small Lick back home, one that was now being used in your own little experiments?
(if: $SeenallC is 1)[Something was [[Collapsing]] wasn't it?]
(else:)[Wait a second, you're getting [[distracted|Cards]] again.]
(set: $Noise to 1)
(if: $Streak is 1 and $Consequences is 1)[(set: $Seenall2 to 1)]
(if: $Streak is 1 and $Consequences is 1 and $Collapsing is 1)[(set: $SeenallD to 1)]
Yep, that pretty much described your neighborhood. It would start with the rustle and tumble of Shard-Carriers with their massive metal bellies and huge iron wheels moving slowly along the central roads, flanked by the Takarooks. Their iconic two-legged mounts from who they got their names, would irritate you constantly with their hooting right from the wee-hours till the daily procession passed mid-morning and was replaced by the city’s bustling population going about their business.
There were vendors selling anything from Cork-food, Shard-Shakers, old clothes and Cinder-drinks to god only knew what else alongside a passionate, but inelegant troop of musicians playing their string instruments.
Sometimes, you’d enjoy simply closing your eyes and lettings the sounds and tunes of the city wash over you. It seemed to have a positive impact on your thoughts when you later worked on your formulas. Well, it certainly felt like it did.
(if: $SeenallD is 1)[No, no wait a second. You'fre off topic [[topic|Collapsing]] again. ]
(else:)[No wait, weren’t you were thinking about the [[Card|Cards]] games?]
(set: $Collapsing to 1)
That’s what was happening to you after the game that day with the Stranger. It seemed like you’d been in a fight. Although you didn’t remember exactly how you’d got yourself into this predicament.
Cetty explained, claiming that you’d got into an argument with the Stranger, strange as it was. Ahem, anyways, it appeared to be that she was someone important. She had called a couple of ‘friends’ of course, who had calmly proceeded to ‘sort out’ things with you.
The Forkley sister had helped you guys get out safely, covering for you like the trusty friend she was, while the brother kept the stranger’s friends distracted, urging you to get a move on, clearly concerned for your safety.
(if: $Seenall2 is 1 or $SeenallC is 1 or $SeenallD is 1 or $SeenallE is 1)[You smile as this thought crosses your mind. So many great friends, trustworthy and helpful, [[Authoritative]] yet fun to be around. You couldn’t do without them…]
(else:)[You smile as this thought crosses your mind. So many great friends, trustworthy and helpful, Authoritative yet fun to be around. You couldn’t do without them…
Wait a second, you had [[Cards]] in mind, didn't you?]
(set: $Consequences to 1)
(if: $Noise is 1 and $Streak is 1)[(set: $Seenall2 to 1)]
(if: $Noise is 1 and $Streak is 1 and $Collapsing is 1)[(set: $SeenallE to 1)]
Speaking of consequences, it was in your best interests to simply leave the strange woman and her people alone. Some things are best left untouched. Maybe you’d get involved in their problems later, maybe you wouldn’t, depending on how your research came along. But the less interaction, the better; at least, that’s what you believed. You had more personal problems on hand at the time. Still do, in fact.
(if: $SeenallE is 1)[Whoa there, almost went off track [[again|Collapsing]]!]
(else:)[So get on with the [[thinking|Cards]] already.]
Authoritative.
That’s pretty much how Cetty was, well, most of the [[Time]] at least. Especially when she needed you to work on your formulas. The thing is, you required a certain amount of freedom, to let your inner creativity really shine, but with her at your back, you were able to get things done, and get them done on time, which is a fact that Alick always seemed to focus on, in the arguments you two always had.
You’d been out of line way too many times hadn’t you? Sure, you had been dealing with one particularly interesting formula. Specifically, because it hadn’t been mapped out by others yet, and that meant it needed a lot of thinking. But the [[Stress]] you’d build up would end up getting out on your friends.
You watch Alick, your mind back in the room, looking at you, a ridiculous smile on his face, slowly twisting into a maniacal grin, showing all of his teeth. He’s sitting to your right in a bright orange shirt while Cetty is nearby on your left, having chosen pale blue top today. With you facing them, it forms a vague triangle. What as astute observation, you commend
yourself.
Strange indeed that they’re wearing anything but their favorite colors. But then again, what does it matter to you? You have other things to think about. Then you notice Cetty’s expression. She is looking intently at what you’re [[Doing]]. What you’re doing…
Something you have very little of at the moment. Quite like the time when you were sitting unprepared for the Refinery formula submission. Too many things to do, too little time. If only you had the knowledge then that you do oh-so-greatly have now. [[Wait]], isn’t it always like that, you realizing things just a tad bit too late? Hmm…
(set: $Stress to 1)
(if: $Wait is 1)[(set: $Seenall3 to 1)]
(if: $Wait is 1 and $Doing is 1)[(set: $SeenallG to 1)]
You certainly had been piling up quite a bit of it, hadn’t you? Eh, now that you think about it, it wasn’t all that bad.
Stop.
Stop lying to yourself. You know you’ve been under duress.
Ever since you’d taken that Lick from your Refinery, people seemed to be wary of you. To be watching you. It was creepy, until it became downright scary. That happened when you made some real progress in harnessing the power of that small little Lick of the Shard.
Shortly after, you started attracting a lot of unwanted attention ever since you’d managed to blow off a side of your workshop. It was dangerous, and yet you kept working on it. And as you did, the pressure kept rising, and you started pushing your friends away.
It finally took the explosion and a missing wall in your workshop to make you realize that you had to stop. Later when you went back to the site and saw everything you had worked on either destroyed or missing, you chalked it up to fate, and decided what was done was done.
Clearly, you were off course. But it might’ve been too late for Alick. He’d been hurt in the explosion when in fact he had come to warn you to stop.
(if: $SeenallG is 1)[It's time to take [[action|Doing]].]
(else:)[What [[now|Authoritative]]?]
(set: $Doing to 1)
(if: $Seenall3 is 1 or $SeenallF is 1 or $SeenallG is 1)[Oh yes! The bomb! Come on, stop getting distracted! You need to focus, to stop this [[Ticking]].]
(else:)[There you go again, get a [[hold|Authoritative]] of yourself!]
(set: $Wait to 1)
(if: $Stress is 1)[(set: $Seenall3 to 1)]
(if: $Stress is 1 and $Doing is 1)[(set: $SeenallF to 1)]
Waiting? Not one of your strong suits, without a doubt. Whereas Cetty seems nonchalant about things, apparently having everything planned before, Alick on the other hand is constantly screaming at the both of you to “Really, look at the time!”. In fact, now that you think about it, not being on time did cost you your research deal with the Publicator’s Office. Damn Publicators, always watching out for new pieces of info, weird things to talk about, weirder ones to spread among the populace, but quick to give up on unreliable sources. Quite unfortunate, really, that you had been an ‘unreliable’ source to them.
Now's certainly not the time to be that, you tell yourself. Instead, you need to be unpredictable, or else you’re not coming out of this situation well.
(if: $SeenallF is 1)[What are you [[Doing]]? Get to it!]
(else:)[Go on, you know you can think of [[something|Authoritative]].]
The timer ticks down slowly but surely. And so you start finally looking over your options. What did you do to [[Deserve]] this?
All your mistakes, piling up one after another. The results affecting you and your friends. You knew things were bad, but really, was that enough for him to get back at you, and with a bomb no less?
“Look at you, all confused! Don’t even know where to start!” he laughs, interrupting your thoughts. He goes on, “And here I thought I had problems resolving my Shard setup! Yet here you are, unable to even deal with a simple Lick. Oh the irony!” he ends, his hysterical laughter continuing unabated.
“Just focus on stopping the [[Timer]],” urges Cetty, seemingly unperturbed.
There was a time, you remember, when you and Alick had a challenge. Finish eating 10 Large [[Frosty]] Fritters before the 10 minute timer ran out. Alick had actually won, and you didn’t really want to understand how his stomach even worked with all that gooey stuff slithering inside…
Of course! Look at this bomb in front of you! It’s got similar [[Orange]] buttons as the tap-counters you’d press upon swallowing a Fritter. There’s also a Lick container, a bunch of input keys and a dial with 2 different points at the 4 and 8 o’clock positions.
You had played Alick once with an Orange-Up combination during a game at the Forkley’s, you remember. What? Was all this his way of getting back at you? Making everything seem like it used to be? Ha. It wasn’t going to be so hard after all. You still had it in you. The Orange-up card is always [[Dealt]] right after the red card, and must be paired with a Blue-down, the opposite color in the game, when played directly from your hand.
This is but a simple challenge, you decide. You press the Orange button on the gadget and allow yourself a small grin as you begin working on the bomb, looking for the [[Blue]] button…
(set: $Dealt to 1)
Clearly, Alick hadn’t taken kindly to being hurt with a fireball from your workshop, and from none other than you. That nagging feeling that had been gnawing at your mind strengthened then, when you realized how your actions had caused this to happen. He had been wearing a deep blue shirt that day. One of his favorites. And now, it was all gone.
That this had taken him over the edge hurt you. Alick, once your best friend, now hated you. This was hard to bear.
(if: $Blue is 1)[Time to set things [[straight|Blue]].]
(else:)[And look what it [[got|Orange]] you.]
(set: $Blue to 1)
Blue.
Alick’s favorite color. His need for attention has grown beyond what you believed.
He is laughing hysterically as you slowly turn the dials and work with the gadget.
(if: $Dealt is 1)[“I don’t believe it, you’re not sure what you’re doing are you?” he asks, “I was afraid the little Orange button touch would be a give-away, but clearly you have no idea!” he continues laughing, which makes you [[Nervous]]. This might actually not be a good situation, you conclude, when you realize that there isn’t even a blue button on the bomb.]
(else:)[You need to remember [[why|Orange]] this is happening.]
That’s how you felt when you were sitting next to Alick as he wolfed down the Fritters, and it’s how you feel now, sweat pouring down your brow, heart rate rising, as your eyes dart from one place to another on the bomb, constantly looking for something, some small sign of a clue. Anything, anything that could be used to stop it.
You take a small glance at Cetty, and she too seems to be looking concerned, if not worried, as Alick’s laughter continues in the background and the numbers keep ticking down in front you, one by one, two by two, three by—what?
They’re counting down faster now! No! Wait, this isn’t over yet! You haven’t solved this yet! You haven’t found the solution to your formula! You need to solve this! Dammit!
There only seems to be a minute left and with each fumble with the gadget, time seems to slow down for you. You feel the passing of each second as a hammer on your pounding heart.
“Hey, it’s all right,” comes Cetty’s soft, compassionate voice, “You were just unlucky this time. Alick got you.”
You look at her in shock, only to see that she seems to have only pity in her eyes, pity for you. You, unable to solve another problem. And this time, you can’t let it out on your friends, because they are the ones who brought it down on you.
You’re just thinking about that when you find a compartment with a Blue hatch on the bomb. Is this what they’re playing at? This feels like how it did when you were the one working on that formula, except this time, Alick is the crazy one, and seeing how it looks, now as an observer, you truly see what you had become then. And it makes you wonder, if you still have some of it in you now. Have you truly tried to make amends?
As you think on this realization, you end up opening the compartment.
And inside, is a [[Green]] button.
Green, your favorite color. Your favorite color… Why? You feel as if there’s something at the back of your head, something that you just can’t seem to bring to bear. You’ve already pressed the blue button. And that leaves just this and the Orange button. Which do you press? Never mind, there’s barely 30 seconds left. This is it. No, this has got to be it.
And so, you press the green [[Button]].
You look at the ticking numbers. They get a whirl, as they flow from their bounds of 0 to 9 all at once, and then suddenly stop back at 18. Then they start moving again, faster. No. NO. NO!
SHIT SHIT [[SHIT]]!
[[1.]]
[[Zero.]]
You close your eyes and wait as the boom of explosion covers your ears. And as the darkness comes, you envision the possibilities, the chances, the opportunities that you had, would’ve had, if you had but chosen a different path.
The ideas all crash against your mind at once, as you remember how this particular scenario would’ve gone if you had decided to say something different that day to Alick. And what of Cetty? Well, she might’ve just wanted to be heard out properly for once, instead of your usual nonchalant negligence every time she spoke about her gadgets.
Now what? Your friendship is over? You lose your bet with Alick? Or maybe [[Nothing]]?
It certainly doesn’t feel like nothing. Especially when the explosion subsides and all that’s left is a pitter-patter of the gadget as it rewinds back into its original state. You slowly open your eyes, to a sullen smile from Cetty, who looks expectantly at you and Alick, with his chin up, who’s got a strangely serious expression as he looks on, seemingly waiting for a [[Response]] from you.
The Game has ended. And you have lost. You realize, that it was because you were so focused on yourself. You had thought a lot on the so called changes you needed to bring about, but in the end, all that still mattered was your victory.
You had noticed that Alick was wearing Orange and Cetty a Blue shirt. Just today. But you had thought nothing of it. Had you been paying attention, you would’ve noticed that they were wearing each other’s shirts and you might’ve made the connection and opened the Blue Hatch, then pressed the Green button and finally pressed the Orange button. Simple, really. It was just the opposite order of normally doing it.
And you failed to see it. Because you were stuck in that past where you’re blaming yourself. That happened because you were ignoring everything else, and what did you do after stopping your work on that Lick? Ignore everyone again.
You have repeatedly made mistakes and not taken a step back to stop and learn from them. That your friends still wish to stick around with you means more than anything else to you.
There is nothing else to be considered.
You smile, and then put on a serious face yourself. This is no small matter. Your friendship is important, and if you intend to keep it going, you will have to change how you do things. This is only the start of change. But a start it must be, for without one, there will be no progress. And so, you open your mouth.
“I’m sorry,” is the form the words take.
It’s wrong. You were wrong? What did you do? 8 seconds! Oh no, please!
It is a trick! You know it! There is still something you could do. The buttons are right there. You just haven’t done the right thing. But what else is there to press?
“Alick! What the hell! What did you do?” you scream in terror. And you are paralyzed in shock when you see his simple, calm, yet devilish grin.
Your wide eyed gaze rests back on the timer, as it continues
[[Downwards]].
6.
5.
[[4...]]
[[3...]]
[[2.]]