I'm in a dark and shadowy place with nothing but a computer screen in front of me. The gleam from the screen lights the room eerily. It is silent, save for the sound of my fingers on the keyboard and my frustration...and your breathing. I don't know who you are or why you're here, but you can stay if you're quiet.
I'm writing an interactive fiction game online using Twine.
*groan, groan, GROOOOOAN!*
[[The groans are my stomach.]] I'm enjoying this project so much I forgot to eat.
[[The groans are my soul.]] I can't write a decent Twine story without knowledge of code.
You are a fool, and you've obviously never worked with Twine, ever. It's hard, not fun.
Apologize for your ignorance.
[[Sorry]]
How right you are!
[[Let's look at the Twine game.]]
Not so fast! I'll let you see the game in a minute. What's your all-fired hurry? Wait a moment. Then you can see it.
Wait.
Wait.
OK.
[[Can I see it now?]]
I accpet your apology.
I'll allow you to see the game I'm working on when I'm ready.
[[Can I see it now?]]
No.
Because my daughter just bopped in this dreary place to see this awful Twiney mess. Without looking up from her phone, she asks:
What are you doing?
Learning Twine.
Vine? *flips hair*
No, Twine.
Mooom, it's called Vine...and you can't be a Viner, because basically you have to be either really hot or really funny. Maybe if they, like, had Vine in the 1900's you could've...*sticks tongue out to Snapchap friend.* ...or not. Don't get on Vine, that's embarrassing...seriously...awkward.
Next, she
[[rolls her eyes,]] mocks me, and secretly snapchats a picture of my suffering to a friend as she leaves the room.
[[lets me explain]] Twine, then encourages me to keep at it.
Moron!
You obviously didn't read carefully. I gave you enough information to know she is an evil millennial. You should have paid attention.
Apologize for your carelessness.
[[Sorry.]]
That's better.
Now I'll show you my Twine game. Perhaps you'll like it, but I doubt it. So let me just hit the start bu....
My son just flipped the lights on. The gloom receeds. He is noisy and fills the room with the commotion of a crowd, even though there's only one of him.
What are you doing?
I'm trying out this new software for my master's program. You can write games on it.
Like football?
No.
[[He is interested.]]
[[He is not interested.]]
That's exactly what she did.
How did you know? Do you know her? Do you follow her on snapchat or instagram or vsco or...?
You are a creep and shouldn't follow little girls. Apologize!
[[Sorry.]]
Duh, of course he's NOT interested. What really happened is he lost interest immediately and walked away, flipping the light off as he left.
I am plunged into darkness once again. We are here staring at the computer screen. Twine is not easy, and you are no help.
And you are an idiot. I'm losing my patience with Twine and with YOU.
[[Oh, sorry.]]
So you've met my son? Or do you follow his social media?
Either way, you are right. He asked what kind of lame games can be made on Twine if they don't include actual physical competition.
I'm losing patience with Twine. Also, I think you might be a creep. Why would you know my son? I don't like you very much.
[[Oh, sorry.]]
Stop your snivelling.
Let's take a look at this game, already...
Oh, another interruption. It's my husband; he just snuck in quietly to loom over my shoulder in the darkness. He's trying to peek at what is becoming a very tedious process and a very unhappy story. I wish you would both go away.
What are you doing?
*Sigh* I'm checking out this software called Twine for writing an interactive fiction game.
Writing? What's wrong with Microsoft Word?
[[I thank him for his suggestion]] and assure him I will, indeed, use Word for all my future digital writing needs.
[[I kill him.]]
You are wrong; you are worthless; and you have annoyed me one too many times.
You should have known the correct answer.
[[I kill him.]]
He is dead.
And I'm coming for you next.