The Game of Life - Provo Edition

You are a Mormon girl, age 19, and you have come to the age when you could possibly go on a mission. You pray about it and [[ Feel that you should not go on a mission.]] [[Recieve the impression that you should go on a mission.]]

You decide to not go on a mission, after prayer and also becuase it is your choice and if you did not feel prompted then you should not have to go. Anyways you decide to go off to college where you are seeking an education, and what the future holds in store for you. You have always worked hard in school and know that college will present challenges, but also amazing experiences. You are excited to start that path of being a change in the world by learning as much as you can and then helping those around you. You cannot wait to meet your roommates and people in your ward and classes. You are excited to be in an enviroment where people have similar standards that you have, and make friends. [[The Provo Experience]]

You go on your mission and have a wonderful experience. Your testimony grows and you feel that you were able to touch many lives. You meet so many people who are looking for light in their life and you were able to give that to them. Near the end of your mission you work hard to stay focused, but at the same time start to get excited to go back to school, feeling you have really grown, and are ready for the adventures of the next step of your life. [[You come home]]

You move into your apartment and your roommates seem incredibly nice. You all become instant friends and even have a few classes together. Sunday rolls around and you all walk to church together. In a class you sit next to a boy who seems incredibly nice. You two get talking and immeditally the basic questions about where you are from, what you are studying and what not comes up. He eventaully asks is you served a mission or not, to which you tell him that you did not. You see a change in his behavior, as if he is suddenly interested and slightly surprised. You: [[Stand up for yourself ]] [[You go quiet and turn away from him.]]

You let him know that just because you did not serve a mission does not mean that you are any less of a good person. He seems surprised, but also respects that you said that. You end up having a good discussion about the subject, and get to know eachother other more. He ends up being a friend, and in the future is someone you can turn to in the ward. [[You go girl]]

You sit in silence, not talking with anyone for the rest of church. You keep thinking about what could possibly be wrong with the fact that you did not serve a mission. You are just as spiritual, and try to be a disciple of Christ. Is that not enough? The next couple of weeks you tend to see the same trend. Often everyone is sharing mission stories and become quiet when you say you have not served a mission. You are starting to get bugged by it and feel very much like an outsider. You: [[Start to pull away ]] [[Decide that you are not going to let this bug you. You are a daughter of God and are loved, and you try your best. That is all that can be expected of you.]]

You find yourself feeling more and more alone. You do not feel you are connecting to those around you, and focus yourself into your studies, but still find yourself distracted. You are constantly wondering if there is something wrong with you. [[You try not to let this bug you]]

[[Next]]

The same thing tend to happen in your differnt classes, especially Relief Society. When everyone shares their mission stories you try to relate it back to your own life. The teacher always assumes that everyone in the class has served a mission, but you decided to just brush it off. You are doing your best as a disciple and are not going to let someone's comments take away from your expereince. [[Next]]

[[Time to find love]] [[Girl, get those A's]]

Afterall is that not what the prophets, your teachers, mission president and parents have all been wanting for you? They want you to find a nice guy, settle now, and start your eternity together. Why wait on the next big mission of your life? Why wait on those blessings? You stay focused in school, but also know that you are on the lookout for your eternal companion. You find yourself day dreaming about this prince charming, about how you two will meet, how he will propose, where you will get married, and all that jazz. Your pinterest board is filling up with dresses, flowers, and ring styles. You have it all basically planned out. Now all you need is the guy. [[Time to play]]

You return from your mission and are ready to go off to school. You move into your dorm and immeditally love your roommates. You are excited because there are so many new things. There are so many fun classes to take, awesome people to meet, cute boys, places to visit and so forth. You have gone to your ward and love the people there. You are loving being in an enviroment where so many different people share your beliefs and are as excited about life as you are. Your classes are challenging but you are learning so much. You want to really take all that you can from this college experience. [[Next]]

Try as hard as you can though you keep feeling alone and distant. Your grades start slipping. You do not feel you are worthy of those around you, or at the same level as them. It feels like every week there is something new that pushes you further down. You feel yourself start to spiral into a funk. This is not what you expected of your college experience. What happened to everyone being so nice and welcoming? What happened to love your neighbor? We preach about acceptance and love, yet why is it not being practiced? You wish you could go back to the [[Start]] or just [[Quit]]

The end Go back to the [[Start]] This game is based off the the experiences that many mormon young adults face as they go off to college. Of course, this is not the case for everyone, but many people have experienced one or many of these different situations or feelings. Studies have shown a shocking increase of depression and suicides among LDS youth in the last couple of years. Many claim that it is due to pressure to be perfect, expectations within the religious community, among many other factors. Even in the "ideal" outcome, many have reported it not being as they expected, and therefore face disappointment, depression, and other negative consequences. We can change this culture. We can change these expectaions. We need to be there one for another, helping eachother, doing as Christ would. We need to live how we preach, and not be so hard on ourselves.

You decide that now is the time to focus on school. You came here for a reason after all and you still want to change the world. You throw yourself in to your classes, attend all the labs, and seek out help from the TAs. You are loving it but also at the same time you are sort of surprised at how hard it actually is. In your school you were one of the best students, and always did so well. You knew this would be a challenge but you did not imagine you would struggle so much. You are trying your best but start to feel yourself falling behind. This scares you because you know you are using all of your resources and doing everything you can but it does not seem to be enough. You begin comparing yourself to the other students, and it seems like it is so easy to them. Everyone is doing so well, expect for you of course. What happened? [[Try and stay calm]]

You recognize that dating is all a game. It is guessing what everyone else is feeling and thinking. It is putting yourself out there and hoping for the best. You go to different activities, and meet a lot of guys. They all seem nice and you go on a lot of first dates. You have a few relationships with these guys, but none of them seem to stick. You decide you need to put yourself out there more. [[Traditional dating]] [[You try out Mutual]]

You are getting little to no sleep, trying to stay on top of everything. You find yourself falling asleep in class. Your grades are slipping. You have never felt so depressed in your life. You feel this weight, this constant pressure on yourself to do well. You start to feel like the walls are closing in on yourself and that there is no escape. You can only see a few options left: [[Reach out to someone and accept that you will not be perfect, and that's ok]] Decide that dating is the answer, and you just need a support system to get you through this [[Time to find love]] [[Just keep going forward, you do not need anyone]]

You get some help, and also come to the realization that you do not need to be perfect. You do not need to to get the best grades, as long as you are trying your best. You try your best, and do good enough, and you feel better because you have more of a support group, and those who will support you in tough times. They help you to know that you are doing great, and that you can make it. You end up doing great in school and graduate with good grades. There is only one disappointment: [[you are not married]]

You can do this. College is all about staying up late and being exhausted after all. You know that you can beat the system. What you did not realize though was how hard the system would beat you back. You try not to, but you cannot accept when your work is less than perfect. Everything starts to seem impossible to you. You want to go home, you want everything to just stop. You start to feel that you will pop under the pressure. You want to just lay down and sleep for the rest of the year you are so exhausted. Your roommates never see you because you stay in your room, studying all the time. They do not realize what bad shape you are in, and you are not going to tell them because you are so far gone that you feel no one can help you. There seems to be only one option. [[Quit]]

Your family brings it up every time you are around them and you start to feel that pressure to get married. You are graduated and therefore a little older than the "normal" dating crowd. You try going out with a few people in your ward but find that you do not have as many similarities, and are not "clicking" with anyone. You eventually move out of the ward for work and end up going to an "older" singles ward. You become a bit down as you try again and again and have to success with these guys. People start saying comments to you, about how it is fine to not get married, how that is not the calling for everyone and so forth. Yet at the same time you feel a bit ripped off, like you are being denied blessings. You have done everything right and do not understand. [[You try out Mutual]] Date in the ward, because [[Life Moves On]]

You have heard a lot about this dating app called "Mutual". It was made for Mormons finding an eternal companion so you figure that is the best tool for you. You love having all of these options, and being able to pick and choose. You get matched with a lot of guys and this is super exciting for you. You feel very much wanted and like a hot commodity. A part of you feels a little guilty because you are only judging a guy on how hot he is, but then again isn't attraction an important part of finding a mate? [[Eh, Keep swipping]] Maybe I should go back to [[Traditional dating]] Actually school is a calling my name [[Girl, get those A's]]

You give everyone a chance but just nothing feels right. As the years go on, you hear over and over in your ward about eternal families and the blessings of motherhood. That is everything that you want. When people talk to you they have this tone of pity, and also suggest that you "aren't trying hard enough" or "putting yourself out there". You have heard it so many times before now, and just make a joke or laugh it off but it hurts inside. You start to wonder if this is the future you face. Everyone says that you will get those blessings eventually, just maybe not in this life. You sigh, and start to lose faith you'll meet this guys you are to marry in this life. You feel hopeless, but continue on. [[Quit]]

At first everything is great. You meet a lot of nice guys and go on a lot of great dates. After a while it becomes frusterating though, because nothing seems to work out. You date a guy for a while, only to find out that he actually has a missionary out, and you are just filling the time until she comes home. Another guy on the first date tells you that he recieved revalation and you two are destined to be married and multiply and replenish the earth. He did not get a second date. There seems to be a strong culture of NCMOS and non-commitment in Provo and you are confused by this. Is not everyone else wanting to get married, always talking and joking about marriage? What is the deal with everyone? You just want to find someone you care about, who treats you well and you can see eating ice cream with on a porch for the rest of eternity with. Is that so much to ask for? [[Date, date, date]]

You stay on Mutual for a good couple of months. You go on a few dates that are good, but mostly you go on crappy dates. These guys are just wanting to hook up and it is clear your goals and motivations are totally different. You do not want to just be another NCMO. You start to wonder where all the good guys are, and why you seem to have the worst luck. You find yourself swipping through hundreds of guys everyday, and slowly you become more and more picky. You swipe onto a guy and think "hmmm I've seen better" before swipping to the next guy. Quit and try [[Traditional dating]] You have faith in [[Mutual]]

For months you are on this app, trying to find love, but instead you find a lot of first dates, and guys who you are not interested in. You sigh, and resign yourself that you are going to be single forever. [[Life Moves On]]

It is a game of extremes in Provo. Either someone is wanting to get married on the first date, or they just want to make out, and never talk about marriage, let alone any sort of relationship. You are really frusterated by this, because you feel that all of your intentions are good and where they should be. Eventually you meet a young man who is seems quite perfect. You go on a few dates, and things seem to be really good. This is the first time you have felt this way and you are excited at this new development. As you get to know him though, you come to find out he is actually not as perfect as you thought. You guys fight sometimes, have different views, and a few others things you did not anticipate. He does not line up with everything that you have on you "Future Husband" list you made in young womens so many years ago. He does have a lot of the qualties that you like, and you wonder if you could make this work. [[Try to make it work]] Eh, maybe your perfect prince charming is on a dating app and [[You try out Mutual]] You decide it is not worth the risk, you want someone who is perfect and [[Life Moves On]]

Nothing in life is worth having unless it takes a little bit of work. That is the attitude you decide to take on as you try to work it out with this guy. Sure there seemed to be some things you did not agree on, but as you spend time together, you get to know one another more, and also communicate better. You learn a lot from eachother. Being so different your relationsip provides another look on life from the other person, and you feel yourself becoming more open minded and also more accepting. You start to see things you want to change about yourself because of your new sweetheart. You want to be a better person, and you see that he too wants to be better. You guys are growing closer together, and things are looking really good for you two. You even think to yourself about marrying this guy, though it has only been a couple months. You two are not in any rush and loving getting to know one another. As per usual with Provo life, as soon as people see that you two are dating, they start asking questions about marriage. Everyone wants to know when you are getting married, and every detail of your life. They ask you what is taking so long. You guys are just taking your time, but people automatically assume that it is because you two have broke the Law of Chastity or something along those lines. The questions about marriage scare you, and therefore you break up with the guy. [[Life Moves On]] It is none of their business your relationship. You move forward with confidence that [[everything is ok]]

You move forward with confidence that everything is going to work out, and as you two want it to. This proves to be smart because within months you two get engaged, and then married. You both felt right about the decision, and are truly happy. You love being together and having this life you two can make your own. All seems to be well in your world. Then school starts up again and stress creeps back into your life. Not only are you two trying to juggle life and stress, but you start to feel the creeping hand of comparision enter your life. Everyone else seems to have their life put together, the perfect marriage and life, and no stress. You start to feel like a failure and like you are not doing enough. You are running on empty, and know you need to cut yourself some slack. Your husband is always there for you and supportive, but you can't help constantly comparing yourself. It is so hard at church, in your new married ward to not think about how much better you could be doing. You know that it is not fair to yourself, or your marriage, and that you are doing fine, but sometimes it just becomes overwhelming. Sometimes you feel like you just want to [[Quit]]