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<<silently>><<set $light to false>>
<<set $exhale to 0>>
<<set $shoutBigRoom to false>>
<<set $shoutBigCloset to false>>
<<set $fightBig to false>>
<<set $flightBig to false>>
<<endsilently>>
Your knees are pressed against your chest.
You feel the sway of clothes press against the top of your head.
There's something comforting about the darkness that surrounds you.
*[[hear->cantHear]]
*[[see->examine baby closet]]
Your small hands pat around for the object protruding out of the flat door. The smooth paint runs by your hands until--
you find something cool and round nestle into your hand that is a little too small for it's size but you still manage to grip the object.
*The door [[opens->SharedRoomEnter]].<<set $light to true>>Your small hands pat the walls, searching for the light switch.
A little high from your reach, but on tip toes, your fingers push the plastic upward, toward the light that turns illuminates the room.
*[[see->seeBabyCloset]]
*There's nothing in here... [[Let's go->SharedRoomEnter]].
<<if $examineShared is true>>//"READY OR NOT HERE I COME!!"//
You hear Minh yell from the other room. Quick! Hide!
Run back to the [[closet!->back2BabyCloset]] Hurry!!!
<<else>><<set $sharedEnter to either ("Your eyes fixate on the light streaming in.", "The room outside the closet is a bit lighter...", "You feel less confined outside of the closet.")>>Blinking quick as your eyes adjust to the streaming sunlight outside the closet.
$sharedEnter
*[[hear->hearSharedRoom]]
*[[see->seeSharedRoom]]
<<endif>>
You hear the squeak of the bedroom door. His heavy footsteps gets closer and closer until...
<<if $light is true>><<set $hideWin to true>> you see the shadows of his feet standing outside of the closet door. "Come on out, Vian!! I found you!!"
<<else>><<set $hideWin to false>>
you see the shadows of his feet pass by the closet door, "Hmmm.. Are you..." a shuffle, "UNDER THE BED??"
<<endif>>
You burst [[out->bigRoom Enter]] from the closet to announce your presence.Double-click this passage to edit it.<<if $shoutBigRoom is true>>
The shouting becomes louder...
Heavy, angry footsteps grow closer and closer.
Your body is possessed:
[[fight?->flight?]] or [[flight?]]
<<else>><<set $bigRoomEnter to either ("Your eyes fixate on the light streaming in.", "The room outside the closet feels...unknown.", "You feel less physically confined outside of the closet, but something else supresses you.", "You haven't quite adjusted to the space.")>>The room blinds you again and as your eyes adjust you're hit with a sinking...unfamiliarity.
$bigRoomEnter
*[[see->SeeBigRoom]]
*[[listen->hearBigRoom]]
<<endif>><<set $examineShared to true>>He was on the top bunk, of course, because he was older and stronger, leaving you to fend off the monsters under your bed and his.
*[[return->SharedRoomEnter]]From here you can't hear anything intelligible.
*[[return->Baby Closet]]
*[[exhale->babyCloset exhale]] All you can see is the light under the door.
*Turn [[on the lights->examine baby closetLightOn]]?
*Leave [[lights off->examine baby closetLightsOff]]. You're unsure how much time has passed now in the pitch black darkness of the closet.
*[[exhale->babyCloset exhale]]
*Turn [[on the lights->examine baby closetLightOn]]?
*There's nothing here...[[Let's go->closetDoor]].In the distance you hear //Minh//, counting down to the last numbers.
You know he'll probably find you.
He always seems to know where you hide.
*[[return->SharedRoomEnter]]You see the [[bunk bed->top bunk]] that you both share.
Across the room is the bookcase you share, though more of your things populate it.
*[[return->SharedRoomEnter]]You see you and your brother's clothes hanging on both sides of the room. In between the divide is a tall cubby.
*[[return->examine baby closetLightOn]]<<set $shoutBigRoom to true>>The bunk bed is now just one bed.
All of what remains of //Minh// are in his seperate room across the hall.
Sometimes you both play together in the living room,
but lately he's spent a lot of time reading and playing on his own and with his own friends.
Sometimes it seems like he doesn't notice //Ma// and //Baba// shouting at each other. You wonder if it's all in your head...maybe everyone's parents are like this.
*[[return->bigRoom Enter]] You quiet yourself to listen in on the sounds around you.
Shouting..in the distance. Only two voices.
They get louder over each other,
ebbing and flowing like asynchronous waves.
A ''slam.''
And silence floods in.
*[[exhale->bigRoom Exhale]]
*[[return->bigRoom Enter]] <<set $exhale to $exhale + 1>>You feel yourself exhale in relief, softly.
You wouldn't want them to hear you and redirect their energies.
*[[return->bigRoom Enter]] <<set $exhale to $exhale + 1>>You feel yourself exhale in relief, softly.
You wouldn't want them to hear you and redirect their energies.
*[[return->examine baby closetLightsOff]]You could never fight your parents.
Not after everything they sacrificed for you.
It's better to hide.
Somewhere no one ever looks.
[[Back to the closet->enter bigCloset]].<<if $shoutBigCloset is true>>
The urgency just outside your door gets louder.
Heavy stomping comes from //Minh's// room, across the hall.
Then you hear him shouting at the source of the yelling.
All three voices compete to be heard until--
''BAM''
*[[fight|bigOldRoomFight][$fightBig to true]]
or
*[[flight|bigOldRoomFight][$flightBig to true]]
<<else>>The closet is a little different from when you were younger.
It definitely feels much smaller.
You've definitely grown, perhaps too old to be hiding,
And yet, here you are.
*[[see->see bigCloset]]
*[[hear->hear bigCloset]]
<<endif>>
<<set $shoutBigCloset to true>>Since you moved to be closer to //Baba's// work,
Your closet is smaller.
You love the feeling of
laying on the floor of your closet
and filling the entire space with your body.
It feels as if this space was made for you to hide in.
*[[return->enter bigCloset]] Though muted and farther away, the shouting continues.
Now, more urgent.
There's a different quality to the pitch of the shouting now.
There's a sense of...==fear== something.
*[[exhale->bigCloset exhale]]
*[[return->enter bigCloset]] <<set $exhale to $exhale +1>>You shut your eyes against the dark.
You try to push the drifting sounds out of your mind,
Far, where it can't hurt you.
You breathe in deep,
Exhale s l o w.
*[[return->enter bigCloset]] <<if $fightBig is true>>You're older now.
You can't keep hiding in closets
Waiting for the dust to settle.
These people are your family.
If something happened to them,
You wouldn't know what to do with yourself.
It's time to [[go out there->OldRoom Enter]].
<<elseif $flightBig is true>>You're sick of the fighting.
You can't remember a time when
the background to your life wasn't anger and hostility.
You still flinch at the sound of door slaming.
It's time for you to [[leave all this behind->OldRoom Enter]]
Maybe...//Ma// will be okay.
<<endif>>As you leave the sanctuary of the closet,
You're suddenly hit with a pang of ==terror== something.
*[[hear->OldRoom phone]]
*[[see->OldRoom phone]]Across the room, neglected on the desk
Atop the stacks of books and worksheets,
Your phone rings.
No one usually calls your phone...
Not unless it's ==urgent== something.
*[[fight->pick up]]
*==flight==The person on the other end is crying.
The wave of panic washes over you again.
*==fight==
*[[flight->OldCloset Enter]]The more the person continues,
The more you feel yourself sink
into the familiar, darkness of the closet.
//he's dead.........//
Your body proceeds to grow heavier.
Your limbs suddenly go numb.
Your brain...ceases to...
What happens now?
*[[stay]]
*[[cry->stay]]
*==fight==
*==flight==You give in to the sinking feeling.
You finally untense and
let your body fall how it wants.
You find yourself clutching your knees,
pressing yourself small, so small,
until you can't feel your body shake anymore.
Tears stream down your face and onto the carpet.
You only want to drown in your own sadness.
//he's...dead...//
*[[hide]]
*==fight==
*==flight==All these closets have done for me.
Provided me sanctuary.
A place to hide and feel safe.
But, what do you do,
When your mind has become unsafe?
Hiding in closets, time still passes.
I can't live with time passing.
*[[exhale->OldCloset Exhale]]Slowly, you intake the air around you.
Pausing, to let the air reach every cell in your body.
Slowly, you exhale...you release the air back,
You thank it for providing you life.
S l o w l y,
You find yourself recentered...
back into the closet and the world you live in,
[[without]] him.You moved past all of this.
Without him.
Without your parents' happy marriage.
Without the confidence to face these things.
[[You'll do it again->credits]].>>Created by Vian Nguyen
----
>>//portfolio// [[jubnugget.com|https://jubnuggets.wixsite.com/artportfolio]]
>>//twitter// [[@jubnuggets|https://twitter.com/JubNuggets]]
>>[[restart->Baby Closet]]