Lost In Digital Space

You awaken in a dark room. The floor is cool, both in temperature and in design. The walls are high, and points of light trickle down them rain, if it were raining inside for some reason. It's weird, somehow also about what you expected. [[Look around.]] [[Look at yourself.]]

A self-satisfied entity stands by a podium and stares off into space as though seeking an obscure musician's name. They appear not to care that you've just digimized into the room. You can sense this entity goes by 'The Steward' due to the placard bearing its name on the podium in front of it. [[Talk to the Steward.]] [[Return to the Nexus.|Digital Space]]

You're now made of cascading light, the same way the room around you seems to be. It reminds you of being on cut-rate Dust at the Academy. You're also wearing the Digimizer. Everything about it tells you it's functioning normally, most notably the display which reads, 'Functioning Normally.' A bright red 'De-Digimize' button blinks ominously on one side. [[Press the 'De-Digimize' button.]] [[Return to the Nexus.|Digital Space]]

You approach the Steward and clear your throat. They give you a look somewhere below condescension but above disinterest. "(font: "Courier New" )[**Standard culturally appropriate greeting**] to you. I am the Steward. My apologies in advance if not all of my communications with you are perfectly smooth; when you exist for billions of years sometimes you fall behind on language pack updates. A (font: "Courier New")[**comically large number of askings for forgiveness**]." The Steward regards you haughtily. [["What is this place?"]] [["I'm looking for a man named Hark Tartigast."]] [["Nevermind."|Digital Space]]

Throwing caution to the wind, you press the 'De-Digimize' button and you return to Rebellion HQ. "You're back! Where's Tartigast?" demands Commander Tiddle. "We only had the one digimization crystal. You think those things grow on trees? I mean, technically they do, but they're still hard to get." Tiddle slumps down in his chair. His best friend is lost to time and space because of you. Maybe you should go. ''GAME OVER''

You enter a massive set of stacks, containing what you assume to be all the recorded knowledge of the entire multiverse. Your mind reels with the thought, and then, is severely grossed out. Digital creatures of all types peruse the shelves as you enter, but you recognize something in the man leaning against the side of one the nearby bookshelves. He looks like Hark Tartigast, but with a knowing look that you can't remember ever seeing on Hark. Plus there's the fashionable scarf around his neck. You approach, and Hark immediately looks up at you. "With you in a moment, chum. I'm working on my masterpiece." [["Masterpiece?"]] [[Head back to the Nexus.|The Nexus]]

"I'll be straight with you, Emissary. Hark's probably dead," says Commander Rolphus Tiddle. He takes a second to collect himself. "But on the off chance that he's not, we need to send someone after him." He slides a wristwatch across his desk towards you. You pick it up and inspect it. The display reads, "Ready for Digimization." "Sentient Resources tells me you've got some experience with Digital Space." [[You nod.]] [[You shake your head no.]]

"Good. Because every second we spend here talking, Hark could've lived an entire lifetime where he's a garfon, or something." Rolphus shakes his head. "Is that... right? The eggheads downstairs tried to explain what happened, but I couldn't really wrap my head around it. I'm worried about him, but I'm out of my element on this." He looks up at you, eyes filled with hope. "But I'm told you're not. So, are you up to the task? If so, digimize, and get Captain Tartigast back alive. And long live the Rebellion, soldier." [[Activate the Digimizer.]] [[Slide the Digimizer back across the desk.]]

Rolphus squints at you. "Are you jucking around with me right now, soldier?" [[Yes, you are.|You nod.]] [[No, you're not.]]

The Digimizer slides too far and lands in Rolphus' lap. He gives you a look as if to say, "...the juck?" "Well if that's your attitude, soldier, then you're on zellnazz duty. Climb up its anus and express those glands." He swivels his chair away from you and holds a picture of Hark in his hands. (set: $rolphus to 'not cool') [[You show yourself out.|Sentient Resources]]

"Oh, really? You're sure?" Rolphus glances down at the his computer. "My mistake, then. Get yourself over to SR for a new assignment, and long live the Rebellion." He salutes you and goes back to his computer. [[Head to Sentient Resources.|Sentient Resources]]

You walk into Sentient Resources having successfully dodged the dangerous Digital Space assignment. Hopefully now, you can score a placement a little more in your wheelhouse. “Rolphus all done with ya, huh?” asks the SR being. “He's real torn up about his buddy Hark. Nice guy, great flyboy, good with advice, but dumb, really. Hope someone gets him out that hard drive he's in, or wherever." "Anyway, where we sending ya today?” [[“Mission Operations Management.”]] [[“Flight Ops.”]] [[“Food Services.”]] (if: $rolphus is 'not cool')[ [["Zellnazz duty."]]]

"Hark Tartigast, you said? Hmm, now that is interesting." The Steward leafs through an insubstantial ledger on the podium, and fixes you with an inquisitive look. "Rather silly name, all things considered. Which one are you looking for?" [["What do you mean, 'which one?'"]] [["Enough of your riddles, Steward!"]]

You press the button labeled 'Digimize' and your body jerks itself taut. You're barely able to stand the shock of having every atom of your body converted to digital code at first, but then you get used to it and settle down about the whole thing. You feel yourself in transit to a world far from the one you know in the Zyxx Quadrant, one where the laws of nature bend at strange, unfamiliar angles. It's a world where metaphysical thought becomes as real as flesh and blood, but the words "flesh" and "blood" hold little meaning to its energy-based inhabitants. A world where ideas hold sway, and what you think is far more valuable than kroon-- [[Get on with it.|Digital Space]] [[No, keep going!]]

A world of light and energy, where the merest impulse could create an entire universe, but just as quickly, destroy that self-same universe! A world where the consequences of actions reverberate through the cosmos, creating dynamic chains of events that shake the very foundations of reality itself! You could make yourself unto a Rod, or should you so will it, become the very Devil itself. The Power Is In Your Mind's Eye™! You stop as you realize you're just remembering the ad copy from the Ronka Cybernetics Corporation's press release for their "HyperReality Headset," which ended up being a total letdown. Great copywriting though. [[Right. Back to saving Hark.|Digital Space]]

"I mean, which Hark Tartigast were you looking for? I have six separate arrivals: all confoundingly at the exact same moment in time, all irritatingly named Hark Tartigast. I would greatly appreciate you taking one or perhaps all of them off my hands." [["What is this place?"]] [["How do I know which is the right Hark?"]]

"Riddles? What do I look like, some kind of (font: "Courier New")[**host of trivia-based entertainment**]? How dare you!" The Steward raises their hand and deletes you from digital space. You realize before you are erased from existence that this was an attempt to teach you some manners. **GAME OVER**

"You have arrived in the Nexus. This is a zero dimensional universe that exists in all dimensions of space. It is, simply put, a version of digital space that can be accessed from any dimension." "As such, it is necessary to have a gatekeeper, doorman, maitre'd, what-have-you, to keep track of the various beings that make their way here. To that point-" The Steward makes a grandiose gesture, indicating they are that what-have-you. "Now, what can I help you with?" [["I'm looking for a man named Hark Tartigast."]] [["Nevermind."|Digital Space]]

"Well, it would depend on which of the six Harks Tartigast corresponds to your universe. Describe him for me, would you?" [["Bold. Daring. A true rebel."]] [["He's been stuck in hyperspace for ten thousand years."]] [["A good friend."]] [["The best jucking pilot this side of the quadrant."]] [["Full of good advice. Well, full of advice."]] [["Pretty small."]]

"Ah, yes. I believe that particular Hark is currently causing a scene in the Café. He's..." You sense he wants to say, "extremely annoying," but he doesn't. "He's very passionate. That said, it would be nice to be rid of him before the yearly Nexus Formal." [["Thank you."|Appreciative Steward]] [["Hmm, I'm not sure that's my Hark."|"How do I know which is the right Hark?"]] [[Head straight for the Café.|The Café]]

The Steward brightens for a moment. "He is an affable sort, isn't he? Perhaps a hair too affable, if you ask me, but I can see why people enjoy his presence. You'll find him straight back, in the Salon. Seems quite comfortable there though; I'm not sure you'll be able to get him to leave." [["Thank you."|Appreciative Steward]] [["Hmm, I'm not sure that's my Hark."|"How do I know which is the right Hark?"]] [[Head straight for the Salon.|The Salon]]

"Dear me, surely that language isn't necessary, is it?" The Steward has cocked their eyebrow high enough to indicate it is indeed not necessary. "But I believe I know the one you so rudely describe. He's an insufferable braggart, currently holding court in the Garage. Straight down those stairs, if you want to try and collect him." [["Thank you."|Appreciative Steward]] [["Hmm, I'm not sure that's my Hark."|"How do I know which is the right Hark?"]] [[Head straight for the Garage.|The Garage]]

"Hmm, yes. There was one that was quite a bit smaller than the rest. Or perhaps the others were just so much larger than him? Matter of perspective, I'd wager." "I think the small one bolted as soon as he arrived, and tried to run straight out that way," says the Steward, pointing to the rear of the Nexus. "But of course, that's the Lost & Found." The Steward shrugs. "What can I say? Many items are left behind here. I do apologize though, as I've had absolutely no time to tidy things up." [["Thank you."|Appreciative Steward]] [["Hmm, I'm not sure that's my Hark."|"How do I know which is the right Hark?"]] [[Head straight for the Lost & Found.|Lost & Found]]

"Didn't take but a moment to thank me, did it? And yet almost no one has bothered in the conceptual millennia I've been here. So I say to you now, in all honesty, you're welcome." "As soon as I took this job, I knew it was going to be a thankless position, mind you. For the longest time, the only people who arrived here were scientists who were just trying to get faster (font: "Courier New")[**download rates for acquiring cute animal videos**] and then, BANG! Electrocuted and sent to an alternate dimension." "I felt bad, of course, but they were so rude! Just unbelievable barbarians - not like you. I let them wander for a few centuries before I offered them any help." [["Mm."]] [[Quietly tiptoe out of the room.|Annoyed Steward]]

"Now I get all manner of people trying to find a faster way between dimensions. I can spot them (font: "Courier New")[**relative unit of measurement**] away. They've always got a 'pitch' prepared. Ghastly." The Steward shakes their head. "Of course, I don't know what I expected. Interdimensional morals have been on a slide since mammals took over from reptiles. Say what you will about reptiles, but they knew about decorum. Civility!" [["Ah huh."]] [[Make eye contact with a non-existent person and pretend to excuse yourself.|Annoyed Steward]]

What would normally be a cozy coffee shop has been thrown into disarray by the actions of what appears to be a wide-eyed Hark Tartigast, leaping from table to table. "You're all sheep, you hear me? You're only drinking coffee because THEY want you to! The staff of the Café are trying to catch him, but Hark breaks free, knocking a nearby waiter to the ground. The waiter drops their tray in the process and spills a number of digi-espressos and virtual lattes. You suspect the staff and the patrons would appreciate your help. [[Try to get Hark's attention.]] [[Attempt to order a cyberchai.]] [[Pretend you didn't see any of this and leave.|The Nexus]]

"And it's not even as if I'm asking for a (font: "Courier New")[**easily kidnapped monarch's**] ransom! A simple thank you, as you've discovered, will get you far with me. But you help some beings sideload their consciousness from one body to another via an organic planetary node network, and you don't get so much as a 'Cheers.' Absolutely abominable." "So when a stranger is respectful to you, it's refreshing. Like a (font: "Courier New")[**low temperature natural phenomenon**] or a (font: "Courier New")[**relaxing visual image**], it's just nice every once in a while." [[Nod convincingly.]] [[Hope that you've been still long enough to disappear from view.|Annoyed Steward]]

"You're going to leave during a conversation about how rude everyone but you is? Classic sentients. Don't know why I even bother. Go, be on your way. You have, as they say, blown it." (set: $steward to 'not cool') [[Slink back to the Nexus.|The Nexus]]

"Oh, but forgive me - surely I have been rambling. What were we talking about?" The Steward considers this momentarily and then their head pops back up. "Ah yes! Hark Tartigast. If you ask me, those Harks Tartigast are not six Harks from different dimensions, so much as they are a single Hark, fractured into six fragments of himself. You might need all six if you have a hope of successfully bringing him back to your dimension." "But I am most certainly rambling now. Forgive me." [["Not at all. You've been very helpful."]]

The Steward smiles a tiny smile, just the flicker of a pixel, but you can tell it was intentional. "Best of luck. Feel free to bring any Harks you manage to collect here to the Nexus. It'll be easier to reintegrate them from here." You nod, and the Steward returns to their ledger. (set: $steward to 'good') [[Now to find six different Harks.|The Nexus]]

Raucous laughter rises from below as you make your way down to the Garage. The room is filled with every type of ship imaginable, as well as some that aren't strictly imaginable. Pilots of every race and gender swap stories as they smoke digital cigars. You're not 100% sure how that's possible, but there it is in front of you nonetheless. At the center of the pilots is none other than Hark Tartigast. He's in his flight suit, looking as at home as anyone has ever looked. [[Listen in on their conversation.]] [[Return to the Nexus.|The Nexus]]

You enter an attractively paneled lounge, filled with a convivial atmosphere and smiling beings. They are all hanging on Hark's every word. He looks at them all with a warmth only dreamt of by the corporeal. The vibe? It's //very// chill. Hark sees you enter and throws his hand out to you. "Welcome, new friend! Have we met? I'm Hark Tartigast, and these... well, these are my friends." Hark smiles and everyone gazes at him adoringly. They cheer at being named his friends. "So... would you care to join us?" [["I think I would, yes."]] [[Smile in return and back out of the room.|The Nexus]]

You get the sense that Lost & Found is only a slightly more noble way of saying Junk Room. There's all manner of bric-a-brac piled up around the room: some of it ancient-looking, some of it impossibly modern. (if: $chase4 is "true")[You run in front of the doorway to stop Hark's progress. Read thoughts?(click-replace: "Read thoughts?")[//"I jucked it up, of course! Now this weirdo is gonna kill me, or laugh at me, or make me look dumb. I just know it."// [[Talk to the tiny Hark.]]]](else:)[Stepping forward causes a small cascade of items to tumble down and land in front of your feet. You swear you can hear tiny footsteps as the noise dies down.] [[Explore to the left.|Left Front]] [[Explore to the right.|Right Front]] [[Head for the Center.|The Center]] [[Return to the Nexus.|The Nexus]]

"Hmm, yes, I know exactly the one. You'll find him in the Library, but good luck getting a (font: "Courier New")[**unit of language**] in edgewise. Just to the left of here - you can't miss it." [["Thank you."|Appreciative Steward]] [["Hmm, I'm not sure that's my Hark."|"How do I know which is the right Hark?"]] [[Head straight for the Library.|The Library]]

The Steward's eyes widen. "Oh dear. You want that Hark? He's gone a bit, well..." The steward waves his holo-hands to indicate that Hark is totally out of his mind. "I think it might have been a little too long for him. But if you want to try and talk him down, just concentrate and fly straight up into the Void. He seems most comfortable there." [["Thank you."|Appreciative Steward]] [["Hmm, I'm not sure that's my Hark."|"How do I know which is the right Hark?"]] [[Head straight for the Void.|The Void]]

As you will yourself upward, you drift higher and higher until you find yourself leaving the Nexus. Its brilliant digital walls fall from sight as you enter a dark expanse with only pinpoints of light to give any sense of your location. It's well spooky. You call out for Hark, and after what seems like an eternity, there is a response. "Hello?" [[Move towards the voice.]] [[Float back down to the Nexus.|The Nexus]]

The floor is cool, both in temperature and in design. The walls are high, and points of light trickle down them rain, if it were raining inside for some reason. It's weird, somehow also about what you expected. (if: $steward is 'good')[The Steward gives you a nod. ](if: $steward is 'not cool')[The Steward scowls disapprovingly. ](if: $tenkhark is 1)[Ten Thousand Year Old Hark is attempting to get his beard under control. ](if: $pilothark is 1)[Pilot Hark is visualizing successful training exercises. ](if: $advicehark is 1)[Tough Love Hark is checking his backlog of advice column requests. ](if: $rebelhark is 1)[Rebel Hark is still just a hair away from rebelling. ](if: $friendhark is 1)[Friendly Hark is chatting with the Steward about plans for the weekend. ](if: $insecurehark is 1)[Insecure Hark is trying his hardest to project an air of confidence. ] {(if: $advicehark is 1)[](else:)[ [[Exit to the left.|The Library]] ]}{(if: $rebelhark is 1)[](else:)[ [[Exit to the right.|The Café]] ]}{(if: $insecurehark is 1)[](else:)[ [[Exit towards the rear.|Lost & Found]] ]}{(if: $friendhark is 1)[](else:)[ [[Exit towards the front.|The Salon]] ]}{(if: $pilothark is 1)[](else:)[ [[Exit downstairs.|The Garage]] ]}{(if: $tenkhark is 1)[](else:)[ [[Exit... up, somehow?|The Void]] ]} (if: $advicehark + $rebelhark + $insecurehark + $friendhark + $pilothark + $tenkhark is 6)[ [[Return with all six Harks!]]](else-if: $advicehark + $rebelhark + $insecurehark + $friendhark + $pilothark + $tenkhark is not 0)[ [[De-digimize back to Rolphus's office.]]] (else:)[]

“MOM duty, huh? Yeah, you got that look about you. Ok, just head down the hall, and take your first left, second left, and then the last right.” You follow the instructions as best you can, but the hallways are long and feature many more door options than just left and right. You get turned around at some point and are forced to ask directions from a woman at a nearby workstation. “Mnyah?” she asks. You're not completely sure how to react. [[“Uh...”]] [[“Mnyah!”]]

“Flight Ops, huh hun? Always had a thing for a good-looking flyboy in uniform,” says the SR rep, winking three of their seven eyes. “You’re gonna leave this building and look for the big hangar across from here. Head in the little door on the right and ask for Jane Splindo: she’s tough, but fair. Stay safe out there, flyboy!” [[Head over to Flight Ops.]]

“Food Services, huh? Good gig, buncha nice folks down there once they warm up to you. Plus, all the garfon nuggets you can eat!” The receptionist laughs, and then shakes her head. “Rod help me if I worked down there. I mean, just forget about my diet!” She gives you directions and you head downstairs to the cafeteria and food delivery depot. Your manager is a large, imposing alien, who quickly spots you and waves you over. “Oh, hey. You the new guy from Thentient Rethources? I'm Baz Orf, the manager. Ain’t too hard a job. Just gotta get people food and thtuff. C’mon, I’ll thow you around.” [[Follow your new boss.]]

"Minamz Mel. Are youere tuzee Zeezoo?" You think she's trying ask if you're here to see Seesu Gundu. You nod, hoping to win her favor. "Mmmkay, lemmifinder." She leads you down another long hallway, finally stopping outside the office of Rebel Commander Seesu Gundu. "Mmkay bye!" she says as she leaves. You start to wonder if she's been speaking Normal the whole time. "Hi! Is that a new recruit to Mission Operations Management I see? Come on in!" Seesu welcomes you into her office with a wave. [[Enter Seesu's Office.]]

She scrunches up her face. "New, I sedmnyah. Errumeeking funnamy?" "Mnyah!" you reply, unsure if this is helping or hurting you. "So yarmeeking funnamy." "Mnyah!" "Wull eydon think isfunne. Yurrude." "Mnyah!" you respond, feeling increasingly insane. "SEEGURIDEE!" she shouts, and a pair of armored Rebellion security officers grab you and remove you from the premises. [["But I said mnyah! Mnyah!"]]

As you ride the automated transport to the zellnazz pen, you reflect that you haven't spent anywhere close to the fifteen years required for a degree in Zellnazz Keeping. Heck, you dropped out of the Academy twelve credits shy of your degree in Astrogation, and then you bailed on that Digital Space assignment. *When will you stop running away?* You're woefully underqualified for this position, but maybe... maybe this is a chance to turn your life around. To finally commit to something for once, and actually make a choice. In passing, you wish the thing you decided to commit to wasn't expressing the anal glands of a massive beast. Also, Hark Tartigast is definitely lost forever. **GAME OVER**

"So there I am, *hurtling* towards Hexicron Theta, with no hyperdrive and only half a megathruster. And I say to myself, 'Hark old buddy, if you get out of this one, you've got to remember to leave a bad review at Stizzick's Shipyard.'" The assembled pilots laugh, some slapping Hark on the back with a hand or tentile. Hark shakes his head and takes a drag on his digital cigar, spewing a cloud of hexadecimal smoke. "So what about you, newbie? Any good tales from your time as a rocket jockey?" [["Oh, I don't fly."]] [["I once drove my grandma to a bingo night."]] [["None that you can handle, Shart Fart-igast."]]

Conversation stops immediately as every single pilot turns to look at you. The mood in the room has gotten a bit icy. "If you don't fly, what are you doing down in the Garage?" hisses a reptilian pilot. "Yeah, good point, Glusk. What's your deal, stranger?" asks Hark. [["I was just kidding. I fly all the time."|"I once drove my grandma to a bingo night."]] [["I thought this would be a good place to learn?"]]

There's a pause, and then every pilot in the Garage busts out laughing. Hark claps his hand on your shoulder, laughing as well. "Hah hah, good one, newbie. You're gonna fit right in around here." You ask what they do for fun around here. Hark points up at a giant scoreboard that reads (font: "Courier New")[**SELSKE RUN**]. Hark's name is at the top of the rankings, with a time of :22. "We do the Selske Run. Think you can beat twenty-two?" [["I can give it a jucking shot."|Starting Line]] [[":22? More like plenty poo."]] [["Nah, I don't think so."|The Nexus]]

A pilot drops their empty bottle of orange beer. The sound of it shattering emphasizes the awkward silence you've created with your classless insult. Hark points at you menacingly. "Dogfight. You and me. Right now." You don't quite remember what your plan was after you insulted one of the galaxy's greatest pilots. But now you're being led to an Idima K-Type fighter, and that same pilot really wants to kick your ass, pilot-style. And he does. It's... it's not pretty. **GAME OVER**

You can hear some unkind snickering coming from some of the pilots. They give each other knowing looks and one of them whispers something to Hark. He nods and smiles cruelly in your direction. "Sure thing, Rookie. You ever fly a Renoolian Catamaran before?" There's stifled laughter at this as you shake your head no. Hark grabs you by the arm and leads you toward a run-down fighter. "Best way to learn, trust me. Easiest ship to fly in the galaxy! Go ahead." [[Climb into the cockpit.]]

(set: $stars to (prompt: "Arrange the stars.", "Nothing.")) (css: "font-size: 150%;")[**$stars**] {(if: $stars is "jtfa")[](else-if: $stars is "Jtfa")[](else-if: $stars is "JTFA")[](else-if: $stars is "jtfa ")[](else-if: $stars is "JTFA ")[](else-if: $stars is "Jtfa ")[](else-if: $attempts > 2)[Short and simple might be best. Something like a slogan, maybe... ]} {(if: $stars is "jtfa")[ [[Hark's eyes go wide...]]] (else-if: $stars is "JTFA")[ [[Hark's eyes go wide...]]] (else-if: $stars is "Jtfa")[ [[Hark's eyes go wide...]]] (else-if: $stars is "jtfa ")[ [[Hark's eyes go wide...]]] (else-if: $stars is "Jtfa ")[ [[Hark's eyes go wide...]]] (else-if: $stars is "JTFA ")[ [[Hark's eyes go wide...]]] (else-if: $stars is "hark")[Hark looks at you, and says, "Yeah, no doi." (set: $attempts to it+1)[ [[Try again.|Arrange the stars.]] ] [[Give up and float back down.|The Nexus]]] (else-if: $stars is "Hark")[Hark looks at you, and says, "Yeah, no doi." (set: $attempts to it+1)[ [[Try again.|Arrange the stars.]] ] [[Give up and float back down.|The Nexus]]] (else-if: $stars is "HARK")[Hark looks at you, and says, "Yeah, no doi." (set: $attempts to it+1)[ [[Try again.|Arrange the stars.]] ] [[Give up and float back down.|The Nexus]]] (else-if: $stars is "juck")[Hark shakes his head, disappointed. (set: $attempts to it+1)[ [[Try again.|Arrange the stars.]] ] [[Give up and float back down.|The Nexus]]] (else-if: $stars is "Juck")[Hark shakes his head, disappointed. (set: $attempts to it+1)[ [[Try again.|Arrange the stars.]] ] [[Give up and float back down.|The Nexus]]] (else-if: $stars is "JUCK")[Hark shakes his head, disappointed. (set: $attempts to it+1)[ [[Try again.|Arrange the stars.]] ] [[Give up and float back down.|The Nexus]]] (else:)[Hark doesn't react. (set: $attempts to it+1)[ [[Try again.|Arrange the stars.]] ] [[Give up and float back down.|The Nexus]]]}

You drift for what seems like hours in the direction of the voice you heard, and in time, you find yourself in front of an ancient being with starry eyes. You know he is ancient because he has a beard that extends the full length of his body. He gazes off into the distance as though there is meaning in the points of light. Seems unlikely. "The stars," says the man. "They... they will follow you, if you ask them." You know they're not actually stars, but arguing that they're stray bits of data that comprise digital space seems a little besides the point. Still, he may know what he's talking about. [[Reach out to the stars with your will.]] [[Float back down to the Nexus.|The Nexus]]

You concentrate on one of the far-off motes of light and try to connect with it somehow. For a while, nothing's happening and you start to think this might be an elaborate prank. But this Hark watches you intently. You realize he may be beyond your ability to restore. But then, the mote wiggles. You increase your focus, and find that you can move the mote around the void, positioning it wherever you wish. Bolstered by this success, you start collecting motes to form them into a rudimentary display. You find there's only enough motes to form three, maybe four letters. You'll have to make it good. Something short and snappy that might reach his distant mind. [[Arrange the stars.]]

You get settled into the cockpit of what looks to be a pre-Monarchy fighter. You're not 100% sure this thing is flight-worthy, but Hark and his friends have already strapped you into the harness. "Now the thing you've got to remember about a Renoolian Catamaran is, never, ever put the top down!!" Hark mashes the ignition as he leaps off the side, laughing along with his pilots pals. The engines roar to life as you try in vain to get the hatch closed, but it snaps off as soon as you blast out of the Garage and into space. Oops, you're dead. **GAME OVER**

Hark blinks. He goes over the letters again. "JTFA... it has been some time since I heard that phrase." He ponders this for a moment, stroking the top of his body-length beard as he does. "But there is no question that those letters will, and shall always mean, 'Juck the Federated Alliance!' Long live the Rebellion!" Hark regains himself, and he looks at you with purpose. "Thank you, friend! For a second there I thought I had lived for ten thousand years, but probably it was just a few hours. We've got to get back to Rebellion HQ; Rolphus must be worried sick. There's no time to lose!" (set: $tenkhark to 1) [[Return to the Nexus with Ten Thousand Year Old Hark.|The Nexus]]

You call out to Hark before he upends an entire e-pastry display case. Hark swivels round to look at you. "I've never seen you here before." [[“Nice rebellion you got going here. How about I join in?”]] [[“A rebellion of one is inherently self-serving. I demand to be a part of your movement for the good of all!”]]

You wade through an endless of amount of flyers for concerts that have either already happened, like Peenee Gorno at MetaNebulafest IX, have yet to happen, like Jordan B'Korkan at MetaNebulafest XIII, or can't happen, like Bermut Nundaloy at MetaNebulafest IX. (if: $chase3 is "true")[(set: $chase4 to "true")The tiny Hark has wrapped himself in a couple of crumbled posters and is posing as garbage. Read thoughts?(click-replace: "Read thoughts?")[//"I wish I was brave, like Rolphus. He'd know what to do. I'm just a dumb rocket jockey, not even half as smart as Seesu. Think, Hark, think!"// Hark tries and fails to surreptitiously roll his trash ball towards the entrance.]](else:)[If you're very still, you can hear those same footsteps from before, but they're coming from somewhere else.] [[Back to the entrance.|Lost & Found]] [[Push on further.|Left Side]] [[Make your way to the center.|The Center]]

As you push through the items in this part of the Lost & Found, you realize it's mostly old Zi-Ball equipment. Some of it dates back to the game's origins, some from the Morgus Detonators' historic championship years, and some from the Quantarun variant Zed-Ball. (if: $glasses is "true")[The LO-K8Rs are showing movement in a different part of Lost & Found.](else:)[You get lost in looking at all the old Zi-Ball cards, but the scampering of tiny footsteps brings you back. They're coming from another part of the room.] [[Back to the entrance.|Lost & Found]] [[Head further in.|Right Side]]

(if: $glasses is not "true")[It takes you a while to find a path forward, but once you do, you find a repository of fantastic wonders. ]Stacked all around this part of Lost & Found is technology the likes of which of you've never seen, some technology you've only dreamed of, and even more technology you're not even capable of dreaming of - I know, crazy, right? (if: $glasses is "true")[The LO-K8Rs are incredible. It's like a super high res holo, except you're living in it! You can see a tiny red dot pinging in the direction of the furthest area from the entrance.](else:)[Maybe some of this could help you find Hark and get him back to the real world.] [[Search the room.]] [[Head back to the entrance.|Lost & Found]] [[Make your way into the deepest part of the junk.|Way Back]]

An endless tinkling sound of coinage from all over the galaxy falling to the ground. You almost rush to stuff your pockets, and then you realize it's all digital. You're still not convinced bitkroon is anything but a scam. (if: $chase2 is "true")[(set: $chase3 to "true")You quickly spot Hark hiding behind some kroon, but play it cool so you can observe. After a second, the glasses blink in. Read thoughts?(click-replace: "Read thoughts?")[//"Why would anyone be following me? I'm no hero. I'm not even much of a pilot. I've crashed every ship I've ever flown."// Hark senses you're on to him and makes a bee line back towards the entrance.]](else:)[Between the chiming of kroon striking the ground, you can still hear those footsteps. Maybe from somewhere else in the Lost & Found?] [[Head in the direction of the entrance.|Left Front]] [[Push even further back.|Left Back]] [[Make your way to the center.|The Center]]

Wow - a massive collection of VDVs! //Ship, Please//, //Ship, Please 2//, all the greats. You remember back at the Academy, everyone was always inviting people over to watch a VDV (Very Dense Visiholos) and have an orange beer. You watch a couple minutes of your favorites before you realize you can stream all of these movies any time you want now. (if: $glasses is "true")[The LO-K8Rs are showing movement in a different part of Lost & Found.](else:)[Despite your constant opening and re-opening of VDV cases, you can still occasionally hear footsteps. They're coming from further off.] [[Head in the direction of the entrance.|Right Front]] [[Push even further back.|Right Back]] [[Make your way to the center.|The Center]]

Are these Federated Alliance regulation shorts? Are there so many excess pairs of Federated Alliance shorts that a repository for the detritus of multiple universes would have what seems like a warehouse of unworn shorts? This is just weird. (if: $glasses is "true")[The LO-K8Rs are showing movement in a different part of Lost & Found.](else:)[Anyway, the footsteps are close by. Surely they couldn't be more than a few steps away.] [[Head in the direction of the entrance.|Right Side]] [[Push like, really far back.|Way Back]] [[Make your way to the center.|The Center]]

You almost think you've walked into a library by the amount of books that've been piled up. You think about grabbing something new and maybe giving yourself a little break. But then you see a copy of //It's the Stars' Fault//, and now you're too sad to read anything. (if: $chase1 is "true")[(set: $chase2 to "true")Hark sits a top a book, catching his breath. As you try not to spook him, the LO-K8Rs zoom in. After a moment, your display blinks. Read thoughts?(click-replace: "Read thoughts?")[//"Oh Rod, why don't they just leave me alone? I'm not anybody! Why me?"// Hark sees you watching and takes off running back towards the entrance.]](else:)[You feel like the footsteps must be coming from close by, just not from this area.] [[Head in the direction of the entrance.|Left Side]] [[Push even further back.|Way Back]] [[Make your way to the center.|The Center]]

Oh boy - you've gotten yourself pretty well turned around. You're about as far from the entrance to Lost & Found as you can get. (if: $glasses is "true")[(set: $chase1 to "true")But what's this? You see a tiny Hark Tartigast hidden deep within the junk. When you stare directly at him, he takes off running to the left!](else:)[But you think those footsteps might be from inside this room. If only there wasn't so much junk in the way, maybe you could see what was moving around.] [[Explore to the left.|Left Back]] [[Explore to the right.|Right Back]] [[Head for the Center.|The Center]]

After searching for a few minutes, you realize it's hard to know what, if anything, in here would be useful to you in digital space. And then, underneath a useless Ronka Cybernetics Corporation HyperReality Headset, you find a hi tech-looking pair of sunglasses that read "LO-K8R" by the hinge. Something about them seems useful, or at the very least, well made. (set: $glasses to "true")[ [[Put on the glasses.|The Center]]] [[Stop looking.|The Center]]

You extricate Hark from his paper camouflage, and he recoils in fear. He's also wearing a tiny pair of LO-K8Rs. Read thoughts?(click-replace: "Read thoughts?")[//'"Oh no, now they know how I was able to stay hidden! I'm such an idiot. Why can't I do anything right?"'// You get the flash of a good idea, and start rifling through the Options menu on the LO-K8R display. After a few moments, you find what you're looking for. Share thoughts?(click-replace: "Share thoughts?")[//"What are these? Oh, great - conversations of people talking about me. I don't wanna hear this stuff!"// You show Hark everything in your mind about his bravery, his skill as a pilot, and his great sense of friendship. //"Do... do people really believe this about me?"// [[Nod your head yes.]]]]

Hark's voice is so small you struggle to hear him. "Really? People think that, about... about me?" You nod again.(click-replace: 'You nod again.')["You're just being nice, is all. I- I know I'm not very useful to the Rebellion, but--" You explain that Rolphus sent you to find him, and they need him desperately.](click-replace: 'You explain that Rolphus sent you to find him, and they need him desperately.')["You mean it? ...I guess you wouldn't be here if not, right? All right then! Let's get out of here!" Take his hand.](click-replace: 'Take his hand.')["You... you do know how to get out of here, right? Because I don't..." (set: $insecurehark to 1)[ [[Bring Insecure Hark back to the Nexus.|The Nexus]]]]

Hark thrusts his hand out to shake without looking up. "Hark Tartigast. Surely you're familiar with my advice column, Tough Love?" You nod vaguely. "I'm not surprised. It's only the Rebellion's most famous advice column by the Rebellion's most famous pilot." [["That so?"]]

A cloud passes over Hark's face. "Yeah, it is. And normally, these questions people send are a piece of cake. But I have one that's giving me a little trouble, from Hezzit Ozer in the Selwyn Quadrant. 'What is the purpose of life?'" He shakes his head in admiration of such a thorny question. "So succinct, so perfect. So I'm writing the greatest advice column response of all time that a question like that deserves. It's just... taking a little longer than I'd like." [["Maybe I could help you."]]

"An editor! Terrific. I could use a little feedback. Plus I've been getting no responses at all from my normal editor Desthal Frind. Let me show you what I've got already, and you just point out where I maybe need to add something. [["All right."]]

(set: $counter to 0)//Dear Hezzit, [Hi. ]<hi|[Wow, big one. ]<um| [What would you say the answer is? ]<hau|[Because I already know. ]<ig| [I'd tell you, but I don't think you would get it. ]<gr|[It takes a big mind to understand a big answer. ]<ok| [Bye.]<bye|// [(if: $counter is 0)["It's pretty much perfect now, but if you had any suggestions, I'll think about them."](else-if: $counter is 1)["Hmm... I suppose that's all right. Any other ideas?"](else-if: $counter is 2)["This is pretty good, actually. What do you think I should do next?"](else-if: $counter is 3)["Wow, this is really coming together! I'm lucky I met you. More notes?"](else-if: $counter is 4)["You absolutely nailed that one! My editor is officially fired. What's next?"](else-if: $counter is 5)["My mind is racing... this is already the finest advice column ever for its boldness. Continue!"](else-if: $counter is 6)["Yes. Yes! Keep going; we've nearly reached nirvana!"](else-if: $counter is 7)["It's perfect. Thank you, friend. Your wisdom has guided my hand, straight and true."]]<reaction| (link: "An introduction might help.")[(replace: ?hi)[Thank you for writing in. I appreciate a question of such a metaphysical nature. ] (set: $counter to it+1)(replace: ?reaction)[(if: $counter is 0)["It's pretty much perfect now, but if you had any suggestions, I'll think about them."](else-if: $counter is 1)["Hmm... I suppose that's all right. Any other ideas?"](else-if: $counter is 2)["This is pretty good, actually. What do you think I should do next?"](else-if: $counter is 3)["Wow, this is really coming together! I'm lucky I met you. More notes?"](else-if: $counter is 4)["You absolutely nailed that one! My editor is officially fired. What's next?"](else-if: $counter is 5)["My mind is racing... this is already the finest advice column ever for its boldness. Continue!"](else-if: $counter is 6)["Yes. Yes! Keep going; we've nearly reached nirvana!"](else-if: $counter is 7)["It's perfect. Thank you, friend. Your wisdom has guided my hand, straight and true."]](if: $counter is 7)[ [[Shake Hark's hand.]]]] (link: "Relate to the reader.")[(replace: ?um)[I myself often wonder the very same question, late at night when I should be sleeping in my bunk. It's no surprise that one's mind drifts to questions of existence with all the horror in the universe. ] (set: $counter to it+1)(replace: ?reaction)[(if: $counter is 0)["It's pretty much perfect now, but if you had any suggestions, I'll think about them."](else-if: $counter is 1)["Hmm... I suppose that's all right. Any other ideas?"](else-if: $counter is 2)["This is pretty good, actually. What do you think I should do next?"](else-if: $counter is 3)["Wow, this is really coming together! I'm lucky I met you. More notes?"](else-if: $counter is 4)["You absolutely nailed that one! My editor is officially fired. What's next?"](else-if: $counter is 5)["My mind is racing... this is already the finest advice column ever for its boldness. Continue!"](else-if: $counter is 6)["Yes. Yes! Keep going; we've nearly reached nirvana!"](else-if: $counter is 7)["It's perfect. Thank you, friend. Your wisdom has guided my hand, straight and true."]](if: $counter is 7)[ [[Shake Hark's hand.]]]] (link: "State your thesis.")[(replace: ?hau)[But even with all that we know of the evil of sentients, I cannot help but think our reason for being is to stride boldly through this darkness, and shine a light for those that suffer with us. ] (set: $counter to it+1)(replace: ?reaction)[(if: $counter is 0)["It's pretty much perfect now, but if you had any suggestions, I'll think about them."](else-if: $counter is 1)["Hmm... I suppose that's all right. Any other ideas?"](else-if: $counter is 2)["This is pretty good, actually. What do you think I should do next?"](else-if: $counter is 3)["Wow, this is really coming together! I'm lucky I met you. More notes?"](else-if: $counter is 4)["You absolutely nailed that one! My editor is officially fired. What's next?"](else-if: $counter is 5)["My mind is racing... this is already the finest advice column ever for its boldness. Continue!"](else-if: $counter is 6)["Yes. Yes! Keep going; we've nearly reached nirvana!"](else-if: $counter is 7)["It's perfect. Thank you, friend. Your wisdom has guided my hand, straight and true."]](if: $counter is 7)[ [[Shake Hark's hand.]]]] (link: "Support with an example.")[(replace: ?ig)[Are you a stranger to the feeling of warmth that swells within one's breast when you reach out and connect with another? When you offer your aid to another in need, does not the feeling that fills your heart offer you solace when you are later struck with ill thoughts? ] (set: $counter to it+1)(replace: ?reaction)[(if: $counter is 0)["It's pretty much perfect now, but if you had any suggestions, I'll think about them."](else-if: $counter is 1)["Hmm... I suppose that's all right. Any other ideas?"](else-if: $counter is 2)["This is pretty good, actually. What do you think I should do next?"](else-if: $counter is 3)["Wow, this is really coming together! I'm lucky I met you. More notes?"](else-if: $counter is 4)["You absolutely nailed that one! My editor is officially fired. What's next?"](else-if: $counter is 5)["My mind is racing... this is already the finest advice column ever for its boldness. Continue!"](else-if: $counter is 6)["Yes. Yes! Keep going; we've nearly reached nirvana!"](else-if: $counter is 7)["It's perfect. Thank you, friend. Your wisdom has guided my hand, straight and true."]](if: $counter is 7)[ [[Shake Hark's hand.]]]] (link: "Offer the alternative.")[(replace: ?gr)[If we lived in a universe where cruelty reigned supreme, would we not have dragged each other down in to the primordal muck long since? Surely the many triumphs of sentients over their baser impulses speak to our potential as citizens of the utopia we seek! ] (set: $counter to it+1)(replace: ?reaction)[(if: $counter is 0)["It's pretty much perfect now, but if you had any suggestions, I'll think about them."](else-if: $counter is 1)["Hmm... I suppose that's all right. Any other ideas?"](else-if: $counter is 2)["This is pretty good, actually. What do you think I should do next?"](else-if: $counter is 3)["Wow, this is really coming together! I'm lucky I met you. More notes?"](else-if: $counter is 4)["You absolutely nailed that one! My editor is officially fired. What's next?"](else-if: $counter is 5)["My mind is racing... this is already the finest advice column ever for its boldness. Continue!"](else-if: $counter is 6)["Yes. Yes! Keep going; we've nearly reached nirvana!"](else-if: $counter is 7)["It's perfect. Thank you, friend. Your wisdom has guided my hand, straight and true."]](if: $counter is 7)[ [[Shake Hark's hand.]]]] (link: "Wrap it all up.")[(replace: ?ok)[I know this answer is but a salve on a wound as deep as eternity, but understand you are not alone in your despair. Reach out to your fellow sentient, and find solace in the hands that reach back toward you. ] (set: $counter to it+1)(replace: ?reaction)[(if: $counter is 0)["It's pretty much perfect now, but if you had any suggestions, I'll think about them."](else-if: $counter is 1)["Hmm... I suppose that's all right. Any other ideas?"](else-if: $counter is 2)["This is pretty good, actually. What do you think I should do next?"](else-if: $counter is 3)["Wow, this is really coming together! I'm lucky I met you. More notes?"](else-if: $counter is 4)["You absolutely nailed that one! My editor is officially fired. What's next?"](else-if: $counter is 5)["My mind is racing... this is already the finest advice column ever for its boldness. Continue!"](else-if: $counter is 6)["Yes. Yes! Keep going; we've nearly reached nirvana!"](else-if: $counter is 7)["It's perfect. Thank you, friend. Your wisdom has guided my hand, straight and true."]](if: $counter is 7)[ [[Shake Hark's hand.]]]] (link: "And end with a great sign off.")[(replace: ?bye)[Hark Tartigast, signing off...] (set: $counter to it+1)(replace: ?reaction)[(if: $counter is 0)["It's pretty much perfect now, but if you had any suggestions, I'll think about them."](else-if: $counter is 1)["Hmm... I suppose that's all right. Any other ideas?"](else-if: $counter is 2)["This is pretty good, actually. What do you think I should do next?"](else-if: $counter is 3)["Wow, this is really coming together! I'm lucky I met you. More notes?"](else-if: $counter is 4)["You absolutely nailed that one! My editor is officially fired. What's next?"](else-if: $counter is 5)["My mind is racing... this is already the finest advice column ever for its boldness. Continue!"](else-if: $counter is 6)["Yes. Yes! Keep going; we've nearly reached nirvana!"](else-if: $counter is 7)["It's perfect. Thank you, friend. Your wisdom has guided my hand, straight and true."]](if: $counter is 7)[ [[Shake Hark's hand.]]]]

You strap into a Telnor Speediz HT - yeah, the kind with the outlawed turbo booster. "All right, newbie. You beat my time of twenty two seconds, and you're top dog around here. But don't feel bad if you don't. No one's done it yet. Also, try not to die doing it." Your engines are hot, and you're ready to go. You may not have been the best pilot at the Academy, but you're no slouch. Plus, it's not real space: it's Digital Space. If you can focus, you should be able to out-pilot Hark. At least, you hope so. "Ready?" [[Give Hark the thumbs-up.|The Selske Run]] [[Throw open the cockpit, and run away screaming.|The Nexus]]

(set: $crash to 'false')[And you're off! You've only got half a minute, so you take off towards the first obstacle: the asteroid field. [Dodge the asteroids. HYPER TURBO!]<choice1| (click-replace: "Dodge the asteroids.")[(replace: ?choice1)[Nice work! You're looking good so far. But uh-oh - giant asteroid headed straight for you! [Barrel roll out of the way. Blast it with laser cannons! HYPER TURBO!!]<choice2|]] (click-replace: "HYPER TURBO!")[(replace: ?choice1)[You're dead. Why did you fire a hyper turbo booster straight into an asteroid field? You needed to rush, but have some sense. **GAME OVER**(set: $crash to 'true')]] (click-replace: "Barrel roll out of the way.")[(replace: ?choice2)[Good dodge, and you didn't fill the area with debris. Smart! Now on to the Snake Nebula. [Keep it at half speed. HYPER TURBO!!!]<choice3|]] (click-replace: "Blast it with laser cannons!")[(replace: ?choice2)[Well, you busted the asteroid, but now you've got to avoid the debris. That's precious time! [Get clear safely. HYPER TURBO!!!!]<choice4|]] (click-replace: "HYPER TURBO!!")[(replace: ?choice2)[There was a giant asteroid headed for you. What was the logic here, exactly? **GAME OVER**(set: $crash to 'true')]] (click-replace: "Keep it at half speed.")[(replace: ?choice3)[Wise move. Play it safe, and use your hyper turbo when it makes sense. Ok, now it's time for the straightaway. What now? [Stay on the straight and narrow. HYPER TURBO!!!!!]<choice5|]] (click-replace: "HYPER TURBO!!!")[(replace: ?choice3)[Your hyper turbo booster ignites the gases of the nebula and you self-immolate mid-run. Sometimes discretion **/is/** the better part of valor. **GAME OVER**(set: $crash to 'true')]] (click-replace: "Get clear safely.")[(replace: ?choice4)[It took longer than you'd like, but you're through. There's still a chance! Now on to the Snake Nebula. [Keep it at half speed. HYPER TURBO!!!]<choice3|]] (click-replace: "HYPER TURBO!!!!")[(replace: ?choice4)[Why would it be better to hyper turbo into a bunch of small rocks? Think about it. Now you're perforated. **GAME OVER**(set: $crash to 'true')]] (click-replace: "Stay on the straight and narrow.")[(replace: ?choice5)[This might not be the time to go slow. There's a race to win, right? [Slow and steady wins the race. HYPER TURBO!!!!!!]<choice6|]] (click-replace: "HYPER TURBO!!!!!")[(replace: ?choice5)[You've waited for the perfect moment! You fire your illegal hyperdrive and cruise to a winning time of :19. [[Return to the Garage a hero.]](set: $crash to 'true')]] (click-replace: "Slow and steady wins the race.")[(replace: ?choice6)[Hark's voice crackles over your loudspeaker. "Nice run, newbie, but it ain't no :22. Feel free to try again if you think you've got a shot." [[Head back to the Garage.|Starting Line]] [[Call it a day.|The Nexus]](set: $crash to 'true')]] (click-replace: "HYPER TURBO!!!!!!")[(replace: ?choice6)[You've waited for the perfect moment! You fire your illegal hyperdrive and cruise to a winning time of :21. [[Return to the Garage a hero.]](set: $crash to 'true')]] ]<selskerun| {(live: 25s)[(if: $crash is 'false')[(replace: ?selskerun)[Hark's voice crackles over your loudspeaker. "Nice run, newbie, but it ain't no :22. Feel free to try again if you think you've got a shot." [[Head back to the Garage.|Starting Line]] [[Call it a day.|The Nexus]]]]]}

Congratulatory whoops and hollers greet you as you land your fighter in the Garage, and see your name atop the (font: "Courier New")[**SELSKE RUN**] board. "You're one heck of a pilot, newbie. Which means if I'm gonna be the best, I'm coming with you to learn from you. Do what you do. Eat what you eat. Say what you say. Sleep what you sleep." You nod your head, hoping you can change this plan of his when you're free of Digital Space. (set: $pilothark to 1)[ [[Return to the Nexus.|The Nexus]]]

"I was wrong to think my own advice was flawless, when clearly I've got so much to learn. And who better to learn it from than you?" "I'll follow you to the ends of the Earth, if it means you'll keep editing my column. Why, together we'll usher in an age of true enlightenment--" Tough Love Hark goes on for some time like this, but he does actually seem to have changed his ways. You'll take it. (set: $advicehark to 1)[ [[Return to the Nexus.|The Nexus]]]

"Wonderful!" exclaims Hark, who throws his arms around you in a huge bear hug. "I'm so pleased when new friends join us. Come, sit." You drop into very comfortable digi-armchair, and an excited Hark devotee is already shaking your hand. "You'll love it here. Hark is so nice - he takes care of everything." "We don't know what we'd do if Hark left," says a friend of Hark's. "So he can't leave!" "And I never will," Hark says, as everyone audibly sighs with relief. [["I need to take Hark out of here."]]

The entire room starts to panic. People look frantically at Hark, then one another, and then back to Hark. "Friends, friends, calm yourselves! I wouldn't leave you, even for the sake of this new friend." Hark smiles beatifically, and everyone relaxes once more. You've got to remind Hark he doesn't belong here. But how? [["Enough of this. We're leaving, Hark."]] [["Rolphus sent me to find you. He and Seesu need you back at the Rebellion."]]

Hark, his eyes blazing, turns to you with a sneer. "You'd love to join, wouldn't you? Someone to tell you what to do, and handle all the tough decisions for you? Well you've got the wrong guy, man!" Hark scatters the contents of the message board, shouting, "Messages can be wherever they want; they don't have to be SLAVES to your BOARD!!" Hoo boy. You can tell this one is going to take a while. [[Attempt to order a cyberchai.]] [[“A rebellion of one is inherently self-serving. I demand to be a part of your movement for the good of all!”]] [[Head back to the Nexus.|The Nexus]]

Hark stops his rampage momentarily to think about what you said. "Hmm, you're not wrong. All right then, it's two against the world!" You help him tip over a refrigerator full of technomilk and almond technomilk. Hark laughs and you can feel the bond between you growing. Hark leaps atop it and shouts, "Our faction is gaining strength, cowards! Good luck stopping a rebellion of the common people!" [[“You call this a rebellion? Our leadership is rife with cronyism; we're as bad as the Council of Seven!”]] [[“Now it’s time to turn up the heat on this Cafe!"]]

Hark holds his head. "Argh, you're right. We've got to disband immediately!" He ceases his destruction for a moment, and then immediately hurls a chair out a window. "In the absence of productive civil disobedience, I have no choice but to protest through extreme measures!" You attempt to join him, but he stops you. "No! Too many extremists would be chaos. What gives you the right?" [["I would die for the cause. Try me, lesser rebel!]] [[“Nobody’s a bigger rebel than me! Unless of course... they rebelled against rebelling.”]]

Hark laughs as he leaps behind the counter. "Yes! A cleansing fire from which we will start anew!" He turns all of the digicoffee makers and e-panini presses on full blast, and within seconds, the non-existent fireproofing of the Café gives way to a roaring blaze. Everyone inside has escaped, but Hark's barricaded you both inside. "From here, we shall witness the rebirth of society. Your commitment is inspirational, friend!" You wouldn't think you could burn to death in digital space, but simulations are surprisingly advanced now! **GAME OVER**

(set: $clicks to 0)(set: $match1 to 0)(set: $match2 to 0)(set: $match3 to 0)(set: $match4 to 0)(set: $match5 to 0)(set: $match6 to 0)Connect Hark's devotees by their interests. (if: $matched1 + $matched2 + $matched3 + $matched4 + $matched5 + $matched6 is 6)[ [[Hark smiles at you.]]](else:)[] (if: $matched1 is 1)[](else:)[(link: "People say I'm kind of a chatty Karzop.") [(if: $clicks is 2)[(go-to: "Pairing Up")](else:)[(set: $match1 to it+1)(set: $clicks to it+1)(if: $match1 is 2)[ [[These two will clearly have a lot to talk about.|Pairing Up]](set: $matched1 to 1)](else-if: $clicks is 2)[ [[They didn't hit it off.|Pairing Up]]]]]] (if: $matched6 is 1)[](else:)[(link: "I volunteer to tend to injured garfons.") [(if: $clicks is 2)[(go-to: "Pairing Up")](else:)[(set: $match6 to it+1)(set: $clicks to it+1)(if: $match6 is 2)[ [[What a civic-minded duo!|Pairing Up]](set: $matched6 to 1)](else-if: $clicks is 2)[ [[They didn't hit it off.|Pairing Up]]]]]] (if: $matched4 is 1)[](else:)[(link: "A pal to watch old holos with.") [(if: $clicks is 2)[(go-to: "Pairing Up")](else:)[(set: $match4 to it+1)(set: $clicks to it+1)(if: $match4 is 2)[ [[Get this pair some Bargerean Jade holos!|Pairing Up]](set: $matched4 to 1)](else-if: $clicks is 2)[ [[They didn't hit it off.|Pairing Up]]]]]] (if: $matched2 is 1)[](else:)[(link: "Always up for zero-g Zi Ball.") [(if: $clicks is 2)[(go-to: "Pairing Up")](else:)[(set: $match2 to it+1)(set: $clicks to it+1)(if: $match2 is 2)[ [[Working out is always more fun with a buddy!|Pairing Up]](set: $matched2 to 1)](else-if: $clicks is 2)[ [[They didn't hit it off.|Pairing Up]]]]]] (if: $matched3 is 1)[](else:)[(link: "A friend that challenges my mind.") [(if: $clicks is 2)[(go-to: "Pairing Up")](else:)[(set: $match3 to it+1)(set: $clicks to it+1)(if: $match3 is 2)[ [[Go ahead and set up the Strategon board!|Pairing Up]](set: $matched3 to 1)](else-if: $clicks is 2)[ [[They didn't hit it off.|Pairing Up]]]]]] (if: $matched5 is 1)[](else:)[(link: "I love to cook with recipes from all over the galaxy.") [(if: $clicks is 2)[(go-to: "Pairing Up")](else:)[(set: $match5 to it+1)(set: $clicks to it+1)(if: $match5 is 2)[ [[Time to travel the universe through food!|Pairing Up]](set: $matched5 to 1)](else-if: $clicks is 2)[ [[They didn't hit it off.|Pairing Up]]]]]] (if: $matched1 is 1)[](else:)[(link: "The art of conversation is my passion.") [(if: $clicks is 2)[(go-to: "Pairing Up")](else:)[(set: $match1 to it+1)(set: $clicks to it+1)(if: $match1 is 2)[ [[These two will clearly have a lot to talk about.|Pairing Up]](set: $matched1 to 1)](else-if: $clicks is 2)[ [[They didn't hit it off.|Pairing Up]]]]]] (if: $matched4 is 1)[](else:)[(link: "An aesthete, who appreciates glamour.") [(if: $clicks is 2)[(go-to: "Pairing Up")](else:)[(set: $match4 to it+1)(set: $clicks to it+1)(if: $match4 is 2)[ [[Get this pair some Bargerean Jade holos!|Pairing Up]](set: $matched4 to 1)](else-if: $clicks is 2)[ [[They didn't hit it off.|Pairing Up]]]]]] (if: $matched2 is 1)[](else:)[(link: "Something fun, that gets my blood flowing!") [(if: $clicks is 2)[(go-to: "Pairing Up")](else:)[(set: $match2 to it+1)(set: $clicks to it+1)(if: $match2 is 2)[ [[Working out is always more fun with a buddy!|Pairing Up]](set: $matched2 to 1)](else-if: $clicks is 2)[ [[They didn't hit it off.|Pairing Up]]]]]] (if: $matched3 is 1)[](else:)[(link: "Ideally someone who plays Strategon-X.") [(if: $clicks is 2)[(go-to: "Pairing Up")](else:)[(set: $match3 to it+1)(set: $clicks to it+1)(if: $match3 is 2)[ [[Go ahead and set up the Strategon board!|Pairing Up]](set: $matched3 to 1)](else-if: $clicks is 2)[ [[They didn't hit it off.|Pairing Up]]]]]] (if: $matched5 is 1)[](else:)[(link: "I'd travel more, but I'm kind of a homebody.") [(if: $clicks is 2)[(go-to: "Pairing Up")](else:)[(set: $match5 to it+1)(set: $clicks to it+1)(if: $match5 is 2)[ [[Time to travel the universe through food!|Pairing Up]](set: $matched5 to 1)](else-if: $clicks is 2)[ [[They didn't hit it off.|Pairing Up]]]]]] (if: $matched6 is 1)[](else:)[(link: "Anything that makes the world a better place.") [(if: $clicks is 2)[(go-to: "Pairing Up")](else:)[(set: $match6 to it+1)(set: $clicks to it+1)(if: $match6 is 2)[ [[What a civic-minded duo!|Pairing Up]](set: $matched6 to 1)](else-if: $clicks is 2)[ [[They didn't hit it off.|Pairing Up]]]]]]

You cautiously avoid Hark's rampage and make your way to the counter. No one's there to take your order, since there is a madman running around trying to incite revolution. Hark spots you in line and immediately gets in your face. He shoves the register off the counter. "Sad you can't buy your zombie fuel now, you machine? Why can't you see you live in a prison?!" He turns to face the rest of the Café. "I'm the only one in here who's truly free!" he screams, making his statement pretty hard to believe. [["How dare you! I really want this drink!"]] [[“A rebellion of one is inherently self-serving. I demand to be a part of your movement for the good of all!”]]

Hark shakes his head in disgust. "You would want this sludge, wouldn't you? No nutrients, no content, nothing REAL!!" Grabbing a stack of cups, Hark pelts you with the cups. "You getting your fill now, you plebeian?! When they chop you up into pieces and sell you to yourself, is that when you'll be happy?" Hark emphasizes this point by throwing the massive chai kettle at you, beaning you in the head and ending your life. But as the cyberchai spills over your lips as the life drains from you, you think, "This is everything I wanted." Kudos! **GAME OVER**

"Oh Rod, really? The zellnazz? What the heck did you say to Rolphus to make him-?" The SA rep takes a breath. "You know, Torbitha, it is just not your business. Don't be a gossip. Just put this poor jucker on the transport and do. Your. Job." She prints out a ticket and directs you to the transport hub at the front of Rebellion headquarters. The door opens and you, you poor soul, climb aboard. [[Ride to the zellnazz pen.]]

"Happily, you totalitarian dog!" Hark picks you up and hurls you out the Café window. As you fall for what seems like eternity, you reflect that stating your wish to die might not have been your strongest negotiation tactic. You technically never die, but you also never see another sentient ever again. Plus, there's no net access, you might as well be dead. **GAME OVER**

Hark thinks this over and slowly begins to nod. "Right... so if I'm going to rebel against you, I should just... do what you say?" You nod. Hark nods back. You say, "Clean up this Café." Hark narrows his eyes. "I bet you think I wouldn't, and that's where you're **//dead wrong//**." Hark rapidly cleans up the Café, putting it back into normal working order. You're still not quite sure how this worked, but you're willing to accept it. (set: $rebelhark to 1)[ [["Come with me please."|The Nexus]]]

You receive what you estimate is, conservatively, the best hug you've ever received. Warm, comforting, full of love. Friendly Hark pulls back with an enormous smile on his face. "You did it! Now my friends won't be so lonely without me." He looks back to see the Lounge now filled with a dozen people all animatedly talking about their lives and each other. It warms your heart, as it does Friendly Hark's. "I'll miss them, but I've got to help Rolphus and Seesu. Let's get going, friend!" (set: $friendhark to 1)[ [[Bring Friendly Hark back to the Nexus.|The Nexus]]]

You grab Hark by the arm, and try to force him back to the Nexus. He gently tries to free himself from your grasp, but you hold tight. "Friend, I beg you. Let me go, please. My friends need me!" Hark pleads. You continue on towards the Nexus. But you also severely underestimated the devotion of Hark's friends as they jump on your back and drive you to the ground. "Friends, please. Be gentle with our new friend!" But they aren't. They tear you to pieces, and you know what? Later on, they realize it was the thing that bonded them together for life. So nicely done! **GAME OVER**

Hark freezes. "Rolphus? And Seesu? I... I didn't even think about them. My closest friends for years. They must be out of their minds with worry-- And the Rebellion!" He looks back at his doting followers. "But, what about them? They'll be frightened without me there. To help them, and be their friend. I know Rolphus and Seesu need me, but I can't leave these people either." Hark gives you a pained look. You smile back. [["I think I can help."|Pairing Up]]

You digimize back into Rolphus' office, only moments after you left. An otherworldly chime permeates the room, and a bright light blinds you. "What's happening?!" shouts Rolphus. "...Rolphus?" asks, for the first time in a long time, the genuine article: Captain Hark Tartigast. "Rolphus!" Rolphus nearly trips over his desk to help his friend up. "Hark! We thought you were lost forever. I... I didn't know if I'd ever see you again. Seesu knew you wouldn't give up, but I--" "I understand, chum. I nearly lost hope too." He turns to face you. "But this brave soul brought me back from the brink. And I couldn't be any more grateful." He reaches out his hand to you. [[Shake Captain Tartigast's hand.]]

You activate the Digimizer and instantly find yourself back in Rolphus' office. It's mere moments after you left. "You're back! What happened? How did it go?" Rolphus asks. He looks around the room. "(if: $pilothark is 1)[Hark? ](if: $advicehark is 1)[...Hark? ](if: $rebelhark is 1)[Hark! ](if: $friendhark is 1)[Hark! Now that's the right one. I think? ](if: $insecurehark is 1)[Is... Is that really Hark? ](if: $tenkhark is 1)[HARK!!! ]" You turn to look at what Rolphus sees. (if: $pilothark is 1)[Pilot Hark has already pushed his way out of the office and is heading for Flight Ops. ](if: $advicehark is 1)[The sound of tapping on keys accompanies Tough Love Hark as he writes his latest column. ](if: $rebelhark is 1)[Rebel Hark snorts, unable to believe his friend has "sold out." ](if: $friendhark is 1)[Friendly Hark is hugging Rolphus with the compassion of ten men. ](if: $insecurehark is 1)[Insecure Hark is trying to take Rolphus' disappointment in stride. ](if: $tenkhark is 1)[Not to be bothered at all, Ten Thousand Year Old Hark has fallen asleep on the floor, using his beard as a blanket. ] [[Rolphus shakes his head.]]

(if: $tenkhark is 1)[The snores of Ten Thousand Year Old Hark force Rolphus to speak a little too loudly.]"Well, I can't say you didn't bring back Hark Tartigast," Rolphus says. "I guess I was just expecting the real thing, and this is... not quite that." (if: $insecurehark is 1)[The air goes out of Insecure Hark as he leaves the room with a hangdog look.] Rolphus sighs(if: $friendhark is 1)[as Friendly Hark continues to crush him with a bear hug]. (if: $rebelhark is 1)[Unable to take the jucking lameness of it all anymore, Rebel Hark knocks Rolphus' mug to the ground and storms out. ]Rolphus looks at his framed picture of Hark Tartigast and himself at the Academy together and nods his head glumly. (if: $advicehark is 1)[The keyboard-tapping continues as Tough Love Hark is already writing an imagined answer for Rolphus.] "Let SR know you're due for a bonus. I'm sure any Hark can be made into a decent pilot." (if: $pilothark is 1)[Pilot Hark's laugh echoes from down the hall. ]Rolphus taps his desk. "And for what it's worth: thanks for trying, soldier." [[Salute Commander Tiddle.]]

You have completed (font: "Courier New")[**LOST IN DIGITAL SPACE!**] (if: $pilothark is 1)[You topped Pilot Hark's time through the Selske Run. ](if: $advicehark is 1)[You helped Tough Love Hark write the best advice column of all time. ](if: $rebelhark is 1)[You out-rebelled Rebel Hark. ](if: $friendhark is 1)[You made friends out of Friendly Hark's friends. ](if: $insecurehark is 1)[You convinced Insecure Hark he was a pretty good Hark after all. ](if: $tenkhark is 1)[You managed to bring Ten Thousand Year Old Hark back to reality. ](if: $steward is "good")[Also, you were nice to the Steward. Well done! ] However, you failed to reintegrate Hark Tartigast. (if: $steward is "not cool")[Also, you were rude to the Steward. Not sure why you were in such a rush. ]But still, nice work! **THE END**

Firm, respectful, and mostly importantly: alive once more. Hark salutes you, and you return it. Seesu Gundu, mouth agape, grabs Hark by the arm. "Hark! You're back; I knew it! All we had to do was show you the way, and BLAMMO! You're here again. Rod, what a relief!" She wraps her arms around Hark and holds him close. "Plus, we are eating it on Trivia Night without you! Any Zi-Ball round is a total wash. Oh, I'm just so glad to see you!" Rolphus walks you out of his office as everyone continues to get reacquainted. "I don't know how the juck you did it, soldier, but you are one bad motherjucker. We're proud to have you as part of the Rebellion." He pauses. "What's more... I want to thank you for saving my best friend." In a rare moment of vulnerability, he hugs you. Hard. Maybe a little too hard, but give the guy a break: today has been cah-razy. [[Embrace Commander Tiddle.]]

You have completed (font: "Courier New")[**LOST IN DIGITAL SPACE!**] (if: $pilothark is 1)[You topped Pilot Hark's time through the Selske Run. ](if: $advicehark is 1)[You helped Tough Love Hark write the best advice column of all time. ](if: $rebelhark is 1)[You out-rebelled Rebel Hark. ](if: $friendhark is 1)[You made friends out of Friendly Hark's friends. ](if: $insecurehark is 1)[You convinced Insecure Hark he was a pretty good Hark after all. ](if: $tenkhark is 1)[You managed to bring Ten Thousand Year Old Hark back to reality. ](if: $steward is "good")[Also, you were nice to the Steward. Well done! ] Most importantly, you reintegrated Hark Tartigast from his six shattered personality fragments. (if: $steward is "not cool")[However, you were rude to the Steward. Not sure why you were in such a rush, but we'll let it go this time. ]Incredible work, soldier, and juck the Federated Alliance! **[[THE END]]**

Looking for more? Well, that's it. Unless... Did you find Sentient Resources? And if so, did you get assigned zellnazz duty? Did you time out on the Selske Run? Did you spell out Hark's name in the stars? Or something else? Did you try de-digimizing immediately upon reaching Digital Space? Did you treat the Steward kindly or rudely? Or neither? Did you see what happens if you de-digimize with just one or more Harks? Did you experience over a dozen unique deaths? Okay, that's all we've got... for real this time. Thanks for playing, and thank you for being a fan of Mission to Zyxx!

“Down that way is the fryers and all the grills, thtuff like that. And in here, we got drinkth. Thodas, beerth, whatever you want.” Baz looks around conspiratorially. “You wanna orange beer? I gotta bunch of ‘em up in the vent.” “Hey Baz! Baz?” comes a voice from the down the hall. “Aw nuth. That’s my thupervithor. Lemme handle him; you just get the beerth and I’ll be right back.” He skulks off to deal with his boss. [[Get some orange beers.]]

The vent, while easy for your boss to reach, is much higher than you expected. But not to worry - you climb up a refrigerator unit and grab a beer for you and Baz. Getting back down with the beers in hand is a little trickier. You try and balance on one side of the refrigerator to take a short hop down. Success! Until you’re crushed by the refrigerator unit. It’s true what they say: it’s dangerous to drink on the job. **GAME OVER**

You open the small door on the right side of the hangar, and are met by none other than Jane Splindo. You can tell from her asymmetrical haircut that she’s a no-nonsense kind of flight instructor. “Welcome to Flight Ops, rookie. You got assigned to us because of your exemplary scores on the flight simulator, so don’t make me boot you out for being a garfon-headed ninny.” She squints her eyes at you. “You //did// get exemplary scores on the flight simulator, right?” [[“Yes, of course. A double crimson star and three blue comets.”]] [[“I’ve actually never flown before.”]]

"Really? Double crimson star?" Captain Splindo cocks her head to the side for a moment, and looks you up and down. "Come with me, rookie." You follow her through numerous security doors, each more imposing than the last. Jane scans her fingerprints, voice, retinas - you're starting to get a little nervous. At last, you enter a dark shipyard with ominous recessed lighting. "If you're half the pilot your scores say you are, you're just the solider we need. This is the Telnor Speediz X5: the fastest ship in the quadrant, and maybe even the whole galaxy. And it's gonna turn the tide for the Rebellion. Hop in." [["Is it... safe?"]]

Captain Splindo sneers at you and grabs your collar. “I thought I told you not to be a garfon-headed ninny. Get in that flight simulator.” You strap into an impressively complicated machine as Jane watches you fumble with the buckles. She squashes the VR helmet on to your head a little before you're ready. “If you’ve never flown before, then it’s high time you learned, rookie. The simulator’s on maximum difficulty, so I’ll check on you in an hour. Good luck!” [[Begin simulation.]]

You’re immediately dropped into a raging dogfight. Your simulated fighter is crippled with damage, and you’re up against two full squadrons of Federated Alliance. BOOM! A fighter tags you with its laser cannon, and the haptic feedback of the flight simulator pounds against your chest. WHAM!! Another hit. Wow, this is a lot more realistic than you would've guessed. KABLAM! Ok, that one hurt. You try and dodge the Federated Alliance fighters, but your ship is hobbled. Both squadrons unload volley after vollet of rockets into your ship. It's like being a pacifist in a boxing match. When Captain Splindo returns, she's found you've set a world record: the only person to ever die in a simulation! Congratulations! **GAME OVER**

Jane Splindo laughs raucuously. "Not a chance, rookie. At least half the test pilots who helped develop it atomized when they went to hyperspace. It's that fast." She straps you in the cutting-edge pilot's harness made from a superfluid webbing. You feel secure, but also weightless. It's actually pretty sweet. "We just want to calibrate this bad boy and figure out from how far away we can strike at the Federated Alliance. Ready?" You raise your finger to ask if the atomization issues have been solved, but Captain Splindo has already slammed the cockpit shut. You're really hoping this is a safe ship to fly as you press the ignition for the hyperdrive. "Nope, still broken," you think, as you dissemble into your component atoms. **GAME OVER**

As you're being dragged away by Rebellion security, you reflect that your life is really not going the way you'd hoped. Maybe it's time to make some positive changes in your life, go back to the Academy, maybe see if you can switch careers to something that's more in line with-- The door of your cell in the brig of Rebellion HQ slams shut, cutting your reverie brief. Hopefully, this will all be sorted out in no time. The Rebellion is a model of efficiency, you think. Right? //Right?// **GAME OVER**

You take a seat in front of Seesu's desk. "So, Mission Operations Management, huh? So fun! Not my department, normally; we're a little short staffed. I keep telling Rolphus we need to hire more poeple, but then he says we don't have the money, I say I thought we were doing well, and it's just a whole thing. But forget about that!" Seesu flips through a giant pile of papers and pulls out a tattered printout. "I've got the name of the Mission Operations Manager you're going to be shadowing right here. Your MOM companion for today will be... Nermut Bundaloy! Well, he sounds like a character. Let me introduce you!" She motions for you to follow her and you head back out into yet more hallways. You're starting to get a little tired of this. [[Ditch Seesu and open a random door.|Room 61]] [[Follow Seesu and meet this Nermut Bundaloy.]]

"No, don't open that door!" shouts a lab scientist. You nearly realize he's talking to you by the time the laser beam strikes you in the chest. The scientist rushes towards you as you crumple to the ground. "Why would you just barge into a random room? Didn't you see the sign on the door marked 'Prolongment Laser Testing Range - Do Not Enter!'?" he says. He tries his best to make you comfortable, but you've just been shot in the chest, so it's not super successful. "We're testing a new laser that would allow those shot by it to live just long enough to spill their guts to the Rebellion, but seeing you like this, I'm realizing they probably won't want to tell us anything after we shoot them. Months of work, wasted!" At this point, you're really looking forward to when death is gonna kick in. (if: $nermut is 1)[That's when your phone rings. It's Nermut. "Hey, did you go to, uh, room 61, or to room 19? I think I, uh, may have been holding it upside down, and hopefully it's not a big deal or anything, but, uh, don't go to 61. I have no idea what's in there! Ha hah. Sorry for the mix-up." ](else:)[] The scientist continues on. "I mean, they told me it wasn't a good project, but I said I'd prove them all wrong. And now I've proved them all right! Plus, what is my academic supervisor going to say when I tell her I murdered someone by accident in her lab--" **GAME OVER**

Seesu stops in front a particularly cramped cubicle. In fact, you're not even sure there's anyone inside until a small head pops up from behind the partition. When he spies Seesu, his eyes go wide. "C-c-commander Gundu, I, uh, I would've tidied up if I'd known you were coming down to--" "Missions Operations Manager Bundaloy, this is your new trainee! I'm sure you've got a lot to teach them. About missions, about operations, and most importantly, about management. Okay! I have to go back to my office, and argue with Rolphus again about hiring some more people. Have fun, you two!" Missions Operations Manager Nermut Bundaloy looks up at you with a grin. "Hi! I, uh, didn't know I'd be having an intern today so give me a second to prepare." [[Give Nermut a second.]]

Nermut scampers around his cubicle, clearing space for you. You hunch over and try and sit down, but you hear something crunch beneath you. "Don't worry about that! It was just my lunch, but Mel wants me to get lunch with her anyway. Have you met Mel? She's so nice." Nermut looks at his computer, which you can see has a hand-made label reading (font: "Courier New")[**The Missionator**] on it. The feathers on top of his head rise up, and you can tell he's got something for you. He grabs the print out from his printer, drops it, and picks it back up. "Ok, here we go! Head down to Room 61 and let them know you're my new trainee. They should have the official Rebellion employee handbook for you. I, uh, I contributed to Section 31 and 44, so look forward to reading those!" (set: $nermut to 1)[ [[Head out on your first assignment.|Room 61]]]