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“Wake up, Noel!” Mom shouts as she opens your wardrobe dresser. “You’re going to be late for your first day of middle school.”
You let out a big yawn and stretch your arms out to get yourself awake. You turn to Mom and let out an annoyed sigh.
She holds up two similar outfits from their hangers, side by side, smiling at you.
“Since you never want to go [[clothes shopping]], I went ahead and purchased these myself,” she said proudly. "I can't have my baby be the only one wearing old clothes for a new school year!"
She shakes the two different outfits of her choice from their hangers - ushering you to decide:
[[the ice blue dress with polka dots]]
[[the denim top dress]]
[[neither]]
The smile on Mom's face vanishes.
You can feel how hurt she is.
Although you would rather pick out your own outfit for the day, you feel a sense of [[guilt]] and give it a second thought.
You always felt bad about how your taste in fashion never lined with Mom's.
She never failed to make you feel guilty when you refused to try on the clothes she found.
But what can you do? Remember when Mom bought you that [[fairy costume]] to match with [[Aria]] last Halloween?
It is best to avoid future conflicts related to clothes shopping with her.
"Fine, I'll wear one of the outfits you bought for me," you said.
[[the ice blue dress with polka dots]]
[[the denim top dress]]
As you walk towards the school bus stop, you glaze your eyes over each individual to see if there are any familar faces.
You spot your friends, Christian and Cormack.
You immediately [[run]] towards them.
Mom already prepared a bowl of white rice topped with scrambled eggs and spam for you on the island.
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"There is no way I can finish this," you thought to yourself.
You decide to:
[[put it into a tubberware box]]
[[eat it as fast and as much as you can]]
"Hey guys!" you say excitedly as you approach them.
They smile at you, but before either of them could speak, they get interrupted by, you can only assume, upper classman.
"Who the fuck runs in a dress like that?" one of the girls remarked.
Provoked, Christian responds, "Only jealous cunts with low self-esteem would complain about another girl about something like that."
Infuriated, the girl stomps towards you and your friends.
"I know you new little fuckers didn't just say that to me," the girl yelled.
[[*BEEP BEEP BEEP*->BEEP]]
You turn around to find Aria waving out the window of her car.
After a few minutes, you start feeling abdominal pain.
"At least I ate most of it," you thought to yourself. "Otherwise Mom would get angry at you for being wasteful again."
Before you make it out out of the house, Mom hands you over a brown lunch bag.
"There's more rice, eggs and spam in there," she said. "I even put your favorite aloe drink inside."
You let out a sigh.
"Rice for breakfest, lunch and dinner," you said while grabbing the brown lunch bag.
You run out the door to the [[school bus stop]].
To avoid being wasteful, you fill the tubberware box with your breakfast and place it into a brown lunch bag.
Mom comes up to you with another brown lunch bag in her hand.
"There's more rice, eggs and spam in there," she said. "I even put your favorite aloe drink inside."
You let out a sigh.
"Rice for breakfest, lunch and dinner," you said while grabbing the brown lunch bag from Mom as well.
You leave to go to the [[school bus stop]].
"Hi sweetheart," she said with an obvious fake facade.
"Where's your mommy?" she asked while smiling.
"I need to tell her how disgustingly racist her child is."
The girl responds, "Fuck you, my mom doesn't talk to chinks."
"She says they're cheap and smell like shit with their gross diet," she says while laughing.
The girl's friends laugh with her.
The [[school bus arrives]].
Without a moment to lose, Aria walks in first.
Infuriated, the girl, now identified as Anita apologizes to Aria and Christian. She didn't look at you during her insincere apology.
Christian bursted out laughing at her apology.
Aria pinched him.
Anita walks towards the back of the bus with her group of friends and sits.
Aria chatted with the bus driver again and then [[smiles]] at you before she left.
It was impossible for you to return a smile.
You think to yourself, "Does she have any idea what she just started? And on the [[first day of middle school]] too?"
You cringe as you remember standing side by side with Aria.
That Tinkerbelle-inspired wig sure made your head itch.
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Aria is your older sister.
She was recently admitted into the University of Maryland.
Although she does share the same love for anime and League of Legends like you do, she is a complete girly girl when it comes fashion.
The bus arrives in front of your middle school.
You quickly get out of the bus before that girl does.
The first thing that caught your attention when you walked into the school were the [[lockers]].
These lockers were definitely an upgrade compared to elementary school cubbies, you thought.
Before you could continue to admire them, you hear faculty and staff repeatedly shout, "All 6th graders must meet at the [[cafeteria]]!"
Before everyone stepped into the bus, the bus driver stops us.
"Not yet, I'm still early," the bus driver remarks.
"Tell Anita she's not coming inside the bus today," she adds.
"I can use discretion to now allow you to ride the bus in the morning, especially if you're threatening other students who ride the same bus," she said.
"You [[apologize]] to Miss Aria and the kids you were aruguing with," she demands.
You were one of the first 6th graders to arrive at the cafeteria.
It was much bigger than you expected it to be.
Each table had signs with alphabetical ranges for the 6th graders to find pick up their respective schedule.
After picking up your schedule, you reunite with Christian and Cormack outside of the cafeteria.
You [[compare]] schedules with them.
The girl continues to yell at Christian.
It did not take long for her yells to come out in high-pitched shrieks.
Christian laughed and held his stomach as if he was going to break.
"That little chink really call her mom to rescue her!" shouted one of the girl's friends.
"Oh no," you said to yourself. "I really hope Aria didn't hear that.
Clearly provoked, Aria sets her car in emergency and walks towards the [[drama]] in her bunny slippers.
"Oh God - not the bunny slippers," you thought.
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"You forgot your yellow information sheets," Aria says.
"You're embarrassing me - why couldn't you wear normal shoes?" you asked.
Annoyed, Aria responds, "You should be thankful I even came out to give you this!"
You let out a sigh.
"You look super cute by the way - I've always told you that you had the looks to pull off skirts and dresses well," she said.
You smile uncomfortably and notice that she has diverted her attention.
She [[gazes]] over your head.
Christian has the same first period class with you, English.
After telling Cormack you both will meet him at the cafeteria for lunch, you and Christian walk to first period together.
You tell him about your concerns about that girl from the school bus.
"[[Don't worry]]," he said. "I'm sure a lot of people don't like her because of that nasty attitude of her's."
But you cannot help but worry throughout the school day.
"Can I have some of your lunch, Noel?" Cormack asked.
It took you a moment to realize that Cormack was talking to you.
"Sorry Cormack - you can have it all," you said. "I'm so tired of eating anything with rice - rice for breakfest, lunch and dinner."
Noticing that something is bothering you, Cormack asks, "Have classes been difficult for you so far?"
Christian voluntarily responds for you, "Hell no, both our English and Math teachers used her summer packets as perfectly graded references."
Cormack responds, "You Asians are so smart - it's no wonder Noel's mom always gets her awesome gaming PCs and accessories."
You hear a familar voice approach you.
"They're called chinks and this one isn't very smart - she and that older chink from this morning are [[dyke]] couples," said the girl from the school bus stop.
You were the [[center of attention]].
Mortified, you run out of the cafeteria.
Christian and Cormack catch up to you.
"All I know is that I need to get out of here," you said.
You ask to borrow Cormack's phone.
"Take your time," he said.
To avoid getting his phone confiscated, you walk into the girl's bathroom to call Mom.
You tell her [[EVERYTHING]].
In case anyone overhears, you start speaking in Vietnamese to Mom.
You tell her how awful the morning started as soon you woke up.
"I hate dressing in anything that is remotely girly," you said.
You tell her how awkward it is to try and act like something you are not.
"I forgout about acting lady-like in a dress," you said. "I sprinted to Christian and Cormack and got made fun of by several girls at the bus stop."
Your voice begins to crack.
"Aria only made things worse by putting a bigger target on my back," you said. "I've had these feelings before, but today is probably the worst."
Mom tells you that she is on her way to [[pick you up]].
Everyone in the cafeteria diverted their attention to you.
They stared, they whispered and mostly importantly, they judged.
"I don't want people to call me a [[dyke]]," you thought to yourself.
After Mom signed you out from school, she held your hand as you both walked to her mini-van.
Before you stepped inside, she gave you a long hug.
You can hear her sniffling.
You break into tears.
She starts tearing up.
"I always suspected this," she said. "All I want from you is your best and the only way you can be at your best is to [[be yourself]]."
Nothing really changed when Mom told Aria, [[Dad and Peter]] about your revelation.
If anything, they treated you with more love and concern.
"Even though traditional Vietnamese people generally look down on lesbians, gays, bi-sexuals, transgenders and queers, you're our family," Aria said. "Family comes first before anything."
Apparently, they all had their suspicians that you were not comfortable with your sexuality.
"The only Vietnamese and Asian related ideal we want from you is maintaining that 4.0 GPA," she said.
As the days went by, you quickly expressed yourself with clothes that you felt were comfortable.
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Along with your other friends, Christian and Cormack treated you no differently.
You finally felt a personal sense of revelation.
"Peter and I always knew," said Dad. "We didn't care so it was never apparent - it was just Mom and Aria that always wanted to dress you up."
Peter is your brother.
Being raised by him while Mom and Dad were at work was always fun.
Because of him, you were able to discover your interest in anime, manga and gaming like Aria.
Mom's eyes light up.
"I didn't think you would pick this one, but I'm so glad you did since the polka dots are to die for," she said.
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You let out a sigh as you turn on your iPod touch to see what time it was.
You realize that you need to get to the school bus stop in 10 minutes.
"Mom, I need to [[eat]] and then really get going," you said.
Mom's eyes light up.
"I knew from the two, you would pick this since denim looks good on everyone!" she said.
Although it fits like a glove, you could not help but sigh.
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After turning on your iPod touch to see what time it was, you realize that you need to get to the school bus stop in 10 minutes.
"Mom, I need to [[eat]] and then really get going."