Home Alone (Demo/Unfinished)

[[Home Alone]]

You are home. Alone. How do you feel? [[Dead inside.]] [[Happy it's almost over->sprintcrawl]]

Dead inside? That's okay, you can drink the pain away. You're still buzzed anyway, aren't you? [[Is it really okay?]] [[I should try something else...]]

... Only if you're quick enough. [[crawl]] [[Sprint.]]

Is it okay? You tell me. It's not my body. I don't want this You didn't say that four days ago when your family was still here. [[You're right.]] [[Fuck you.]]

Try something else? There's nothing else for you to do! Everyone left you. They all took the train to the west coast and now you have nothing left. [[I haven't been on a train before...]] [[I knew they never loved me.]]

You crawl to the hallway, your entire body hurts. It's been days since you last ate. This was your choice, though. You see the bathroom to your left. [[Go to bathroom, open cabinet.]] [[crawl to the kitchen]]

You sprint to the kitchen. You have enough energy. You're relieved. And you are still shocked you had that amount of energy. You open the lower cabinet and find two items. [[Alcohol]] [[Rope]]

You are on the cold floor. Which cabinet do you open? [[Glass cabinet, over the sink]] [[Wood cabinet, underneath the sink]]

You always liked the kitchen better anyway. Even if you don't eat much. What utensil do you use? [[chest freezer]] [[knife]] [[stop]]

That'll only do so much, if you can keep it down. Most of the time you can't. You start to remember times where your brother would leave on the weekends when your parents went with their friends (which was every weekend) to either go drink at a house party or something (text-style: "blur")[without you.] Stealing the alcohol they had in cabinets unopened in months had no consequences. It helped relieve the neglect your family provided. [[can you not remind me im trying to get this over with (aka drink alcohol)->Alcohol 2]]

You imagine a rope would be quick, right? You'll end up struggling a lot. It's human instinct to fight death. cant there be an easier way? [[NO->Rope 2]]

Train. A train. In the distance. [[That's a better idea! A train!->Train]]

You always knew they never loved you. Of course they didn't. You were spoiled and unloved as a child. Nothing could be worse. [[It's time.]] [[...What if it gets better?]]

(text-style: "smear")[Can you fix this?] I can fix this. I can fix (text-style: "expand")[everything.] (text-style: "blur")[But im so close] (text-style: "blurrier")[Ill never hurt again] [[Fix->Fix End]]

(text-style: "blurrier")["What if it gets better?"] It doesn't. [[What if you're lying to me?->Get better]]

That's right. Aren't there pills in there? That will be easy. No one will find you for the next three days anyway. Or do I mean your body. [[Open cabinet -> Glass cabinet]]

It's close anyway. With one weak and shaking hand, you open it. There's lots of stuff in there. You can't wait for it to be over. Suddenly, you feel tears falling down your face. (text-style: "blurrier")[it looks so god damn easy why oh god why] [[| |->Wood]]

It can hold your entire body, can't it? You'd probably suffocate before you got hypothermia anyways. Get in the freezer. [[...is it really worth it?]]

Opening a drawer, you find a great utensil that's as easy as using a normal razor. Maybe easier. Because most of the time your family would scold you for no, not cutting in the first place, but passing out several times due to //blood loss// in the main bathroom (instead of your brother's private one connected to his room). Which lead to them dealing with you uncaringly, as they quote. You decide that while you're at it you'll make a mess and make their lives living hell just as they made yours one. [[Use knife->knife 2]]

(css: "color: #993366")[ Stop. Think about this. You are better than this. Theres so much more for you to see-] [[I can fix this.]]

(text-style: "blurrier")[Am I able to solve my problems in the future and with time? Would I be okay if i just didnt decide today? ...If i wait will i finally get back up again?] It's so close, why are you having second thoughts if you sprinted here just for this? [[Get in freezer->Freezer]]

(text-style: "emboss")[Pick your poison.] [[..->sprintcrawl]]

You want this. I know you do. I'm right. (text-style: "smear")[ I dont feel like i want it] You don't know what you want. Your life is in shambles, why don't you want to start over? Put your sad soul into a new body? [[Yeah->You're right 2]]

I'm the only thing you have left. You let me in, and I loved you. You let me become you. I'm what you call "illness" but that isn't true. I become you. [[Take me away already]]

Opening a cupboard on the ground, you have quite the selection of poison for your young, teenager body. You remembering reading something about if you drink alcohol and get shitface wasted your maturity level stays at that age that you first drank that much. Sometimes you think it's true, because you feel pretty immature going to this stupid cabinet wood door for the umpteenth time because it makes you so //weak//. [[I never wanted to end up this way->Alcohol 3]]

You used to have an older sister, when she was alive she used to be four years older than your brother. Your brother is two years older than you. You looked up to her. She looked up to everyone else. She thought she was the worst. So she took her own life five months ago. With the same object you hold in your hands. [[Oh god im going to cry. im crying. shit.->Rope 3]]

(text-style: "blur")[I thought she was great. She loved running and track... Why am I thinking of this? Why did my family want to forget how beautiful she was? I miss her.] (text-style: "condense")[Then let's go.] [[Hang->Rope End]]

You slide the cabinet open, the glass is ice on your already cold skin. There they are. Remembering an attempt at this before, your family yelled at you for two weeks straight blaming you for doing this to yourself (or trying to) even when it's half of their fault for not being supportive of you. Because of the way they (text-style: "emboss")[treat you.] [[...->Glass cabinet 2]]

Oh so you want me to decide for you? Okay! Go outside. [[What are we doing->Take me away 2]]

You feel your body unwillingly move to your family's front door, turning the knob. It was a nice, cool temperature for late July. The grass is green and the sky is blue and purple, and setting in the distance. You love nature, but you usually have no one to go adventure with and (text-style: "blurrier")[Now I begin to understand why God died.] (align:'=><=')[Where are we going?] You'll see. (align:'=><=')[Fuck.] [[You can't feel your own legs. It has you.->takemeaway3]]

What then, what will you choose? (text-style: "smear")[To start over. Redo all of this.] Start over, damn it.

Influenced by the media and what your older sibling(s) had told you, watching your parents, and hearing that your friends thought it was cool to drink you (text-style: "smear")[started too. shit] [[Drink until you can't feel->Alcohol 4]]

You get up and go outside, you live in an almost secluded on the edge of your town. There's a train track about two miles away from your house, down some gravel and dirt roads still lined with plenty of trees. [[Walk two miles.->Train 2]]

Fuck them. Overdose. Because it's all black and white now. You swallow an entire bottle of whatever and wash it down with vodka. Gross. Then, you climb in the tub of your bathroom and turn the faucet on and have a bath. And you fall asleep due to mental fatigue. [[...->Overdose End]]

(text-style: "smear")[Im going to try it because anything is possible with time and dedication. Fuck ANYONE in my way to happiness.] That's the spirit. [[Get better->Getting Better End]]

Apparently it's //now// you're figuring out that you are scared of death. Because you are hesitant to reach forward and grasp the bleach. Or the other ten bathroom cleaners, or the- [[S H U T U P A N D D R I N K->Wood 2]]

You grab the bleach bottle after sitting on your knees. After thinking about everything today, you decide that it's worth doing if you can get rid of the pain you feel (text-style: "outline")[now.] Screwing off the top, you start chugging. It burns your mouth, throat, and stomach. Then again, all of those hurt from alcohol and not eating in the first place. For some reason, you're sobbing. But you aren't happy. You thought you would be when you were close. [[It's happening->Wood Bleach End]]

Reached "Bleach End" Start over if you feel like dying some other horrid way.

Reached "Rope End". Start over.

Your pain will be over soon. Sitting in the freezer, you start to lose your breath slowly until you're gasping. You open the lid in the fit of human survival but pass out before you could get your entire body out, so your unconscious sack of meat falls back in to freeze. For the next three days. Until your hateful and unsupportive family arrives. That'll show them. [[Froze->Freezer End]]

Reached "Freezer End" Start over, you frosted bastard.

A good friend (someone you barely knew because you don't have friends) of yours told you that whiskey was man's worst enemy. So over the next five hours you keep drinking unreasonable liver-killing amounts of alcohol. Two liters. And passing out several times, trying to let death take you away. Before you fall asleep this next time, your head feels really light headed and your entire body hurts. [[Death takes you.->Alcohol Abuse End]]

Finally, after a sad and agonizing two-mile walk you reach tracks. [[Lay down? Yes, please.->Train 3]]

Oh look there's a highway for you. Or you could go down that dirt road that leads to a lake up half of a mile on that hill. [[Highway]] [[Lake]]

Lots of cars. It was too easy and almost painless. [[Hit.->Highway End]]

Drowning can take a lot of effort. You heard something a lot time ago, when you finally stop squirming when you're underwater and water fills your lungs... A sense of calmness takes over your whole body and you just accept it and someone said it was like they were 'floating' or some dumb bullshit like that. You see the lake. It's beautiful. [[Hop in.-> Lake 2]]

Reached "Getting Better End". Start over (which is like remembering all the false timelines that were totally sad and this end lead to an end that gave you a shred of hope but that's okay, exploring possibilities that could have happened).

Taking it to your arm, it barely hurts because of the hundred of other times something sharp has been there to make permanent scars. Vertically down your forearm. It's repetition in the other direction. But one is all you'll need to let the life (text-style: "blur")[seep out of you. Your head feels numb and the barely there warmth you had in your skin faded away. Dragging the bloddy metal down the other arm,] (text-style: "blurrier")[you start getting dizzy and fall to the cold kitchen floor on your side. This is payback for not caring about you. [[Bleed out->Knife End]]]

Reached "Knife End". Start over.

You'd like to think you fix it. With a small sliver of hope being anything left. Reached "Fix End". Start over, because saying it doesn't mean shit compared to actually doing something about it.

Reached "Overdose End". Start over, because if mentions of ODing doesn't turn you away from a depressing story like this then I have no clue what would.

When you hear a train horn in the distance, you feel relieved but of course you aren't happy. You're numb. And ready. The approaching sound of the machine makes you close your eyes. You positioned yourself face first. Quickly, you feel rattling underneath your body then pain- (text-style: "blurrier")[ [[Hit.->Train End]]]

Reached "Train End". Repeat Agony by refreshing tab.

Reached "Alcohol End". Repeat. Like the alcoholics do.

Reached "Highway End". Repeat and try not to get run over.

You're weak, but you think it'll help you more when you start struggling in the fight of human survival. Of course, you find a cinder block and rope on the dock. [[Tie yourself up and hop in.->Lake End]]

You were right. It was so calm... Only them were you close to being happy. Reached "Lake End".