On that note, you don't actually remember how you got here. \n\nIt's late and you're dizzy. So dizzy you can't keep looking at the green tiles and instead look at the yellow strip on the ground. As you count the bumps you try to remember how many drinks you had.\n\n<<cyclinglink $drinks "Four?" "Six?" "Nine?" "Twelve?">>\n\n[[That must be it.]]
The millisecond you see him pull his hand up to his face you bold. \n\nYou never knew you had reflexes this quick, and for a second, everything feels like it's moving in slowmotion. You see all the seats around you, emptied out since this whole thing started. You see trash left on the floor rolling forward, down the train. You see your reflection in the window suddenly lurching as the [[train stops]]. \n\n
<<playsound "music/arrive.wav">>\n\nThe subway clatters into the station without about as much fanfare as a garbage man dumping your bin back on your curb when he's done with it. \n\n<<timedreplace 3s>> You watch as it whizzes by you. <<becomes>> You watch as it slows to a trudge. <<becomes>> You watch as the door grinds its way towards you, the wheels straining against the track. <<becomes>> The train stops and the doors slide open inelegantly. There's a chime, and it [[opens]]. <<endtimedreplace>>
You watch him step out, the doors sliding together behind him, colliding with a dull snap. He turns around.\n\nYou see him lift his hood back up, but he can't hide those piercing grey eyes. Turned downwards, clearly staring at his own reflection in the glass. Examining himself up and down, he mmoves his mouoth but you can't hear him.\n\nYou think he's saying "thank you, <<$name>>.\n\nYou think.
You stumble down on to the ground face first. You feel the blood dribbling out of your nose, but you scramble up quick. \n\nThe blood is warm, but you don't even feel it. You hear the man behind you.\n\n"Hey!"\n\nBut it's too late, the doors slide open and you bound out. He stands there, mouth opening and closing. You can't hear him say anything, and look away.\n\nDown the platform, walking up the stairs briskly is the woman, and you swear, amidst the crowd, she turned around and mouthed something.\n\nYou think it was, "thank you, <<$name>>.\n\nYou think.
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You find yourself sanding in St. Patrick station, admiring the faded lime green walls. You can't help but notice they look a lot like the kind of tiles you'd find in an odler apartment's indoor pool, or maybe in the washroom of a dental office. It's colourful, but innofenssive. Definitely green, but not an [[altogether memorable]] shade.\n
He's also about three heads taller than you, and you're not sure how many taller than her. \n\nA lot, probably.\n\n"Uh, thanks," she mutters under her breath. She forces she syllables out, one after another. The 'uh' lasts for about a second, but it feels like ten. You can see his eyes, trained on her, his pupils zooming in and in and in.\n\n"I like the colour, reminds of a jacket I had once."\n\n"That's nice."\n\nShe's speaking as efficitently as possible, with as few words as possible. But the next stop is ten minutes away and he won't stop staring. \n\n<<timedreplace 5s>>You feel like you should [[do something]]. <<becomes>> But you can't stop [[staring]]. <<endtimedreplace>>
<<playsound "music/ride.wav">>\n\nYou don't like riding the subway very much. \n\nThe doors slide one and closed and the cars rattle and shake and there's so much noise but it's so quiet and if you forget your headphones you're basically screwed and you fall asleep instead but miss your stop and you're even more uset than when you began.\n\nSo you think instead.\n\nYou think about <<cyclingtext: "how many drinks you had" "why you went out at all" "how much work you have to get done" "what would hapen if you turned left at every street that let you" "why your neck is cold" "[[where your scarf went]]" end>>\n\nYou think about this guy, [[staring at you]].
<<$drinks>> Jesus. \n\nThat's at least two more than absolutely necessary given the circumstances. What were you thinking? \n\nOkay, you were thinking about all the assignments you have piling up, and the fact that you havent done laundry in two weeks, and how the hydro bill is coming and you still haven't gotten paid.\n\nYou're thinking about drinks and money you don't have. You're thinking about green tiles and yellower floors and trying so very hard not to puke when [[a sound]] snaps you from your emetic reverie.
<<set $scarf to true>>\n\nShit. \n\nYour fingers dance around your neck, feeling for something that isn't there. You keep doing it though, denying the fact that there's no scarf there, and there hasn't been for a while.\n\nYou remember taking it off, leaving it on the back of your chair at the bar. You remember getting up and looking at it, grey and black against the brown, fake leather of your chair, and turning away. You don't remember why. \n\nYou think you got some ketchup on it when you ordered fries, but you aren't sure. You were probably just very drunk and [[lost in thought|thinking]].
<<set $hood to false>>\n\nYou're curious what he's doing now, so you do this little spin around the pole. Not liek a stripper or anything, just this extremely casual and subtle turn around for no reason other than so you could get a better look at this one guy.\n\nHis hood is off now, and he isn't really staring at you. He's staring past you.\n\nHe's staring at a [[woman]].
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(Sub)Way
"What the hell are you staring at?"\n\nHe whips his head around 180 degrees and locks eyes with you.\n\nYou freeze up. \n\nHe walks over, the swaying gone from his ste, it's all swagger now.\n\n"I'm just trying to have a nice conversation here, so unless you're looking to join in, fuck. Off."\n\nYou're still staring him dead in the eyes.\n\n"What's your name?"\n\n<<textinput $name "[[you mutter.]]">>
<<playsound "music/ride.wav">>\n\nYou slip through the doors, barely missing their snap as they close suddently. Somehow, it feels like the doors push your forward, slamming against your back.\n\nAs you stumble into the car itself, you brush up against a freezing pole and grab it to right yourself. To get some balance. You can see a [[fuzzy red seat]] a few benches down, but there's a guy in a grey sweatshirt agressively claiming new territory with his knees.\n\n[[You guess you could always stand]]...
Despite the jerk taking lebensraum, you figure sitting is a sight more comfortable than leaning against an ice-cold pole while beer slowly sreads across your pant leg.\n\nYou slip between the splayed giant and the old lady, and suddenly catch eye contact with a woman sitting across from you. She has thick, dark bangs covering her forehead, cut straight across above thick, dark-framed glasses. You look away before you see anything else.\n\nThe subway isnt' for staring, it's for [[thinking]].
<<playsound "music/ride.wav">>\n\nHe walks up to her, swaggering between steps. There's a little sway to his walk, like he's constantly trying to regain his balance. He pulls his hood off and runs a hand through greasy, tarnished brown hair. \n\n"Hey there, nice jacket."\n\nHe's standing across from her, feet apart in a 40 degree angle, just a little too close. She could push him away, but she [[won't]].
"Well <<$name>>, like I sid, I was trying to have a nice conversation."\n\nYou look behind you only to see that the girl ran down the subway. She's a few cars down now, standing against the door. \n\n<<if $coat is true>> The man shoves you, this time to grab your attention again, but gets his hand right in the leftover ketchup on your coat.\n\n"Fucking gross, what the hell?"\n\nHe brushes his hand furiously against his pants, deserately trying to get the condiment off his palm. \n\n"What the fuck is this?"\n\nYou think he's [[distracted.]]<<endif>>\n\n<<if $scarf is true>> The man grabs you by the shoulers and shoves you back into the chairs. He leans in closer than too close and whispers.\n\n"I had a good thing going there, fuck you for ruining it, <<$name>>."\n\nHe says your name with as much derision as he can muster and he spits, just a little, but enough that you can smell litres of alcohol coursing through his system. He reeks of bad tequila and worse vodka. The cheap stuff that actually has a flavour. \n\n"You were bothering her," you say with a little more conviction this time. "She was bothered." \n\nThe last part came out a little less convincing than you intended, but you roll with it. You sare through the alcohol-soaked breath and listen carefully for the train rolling to a stop.\n\nYou [[stand.]]<<endif>>\n\n
<<set $coat to true>>\n\nYou take a look down to examine just how bad you look, and it doesn't take you long to figure it out. There's a thick splotch of ketchup on your coat, a messy red splatter against thick black fabric. \n\nSome of it got on your scarf, which you assume must have happened around drink number three, when you bumped your chair into the people behind you. \n\nBut the real concern is the dark stain of beer slowly spreading across your jeans. Outside you didn't notice, but now? It's getting sharper and colder and you try to run your knee against the pant leg but you hit the pole and it's only colder.\n\n[[Go Back|You guess you could always stand]].\n
<<set $hood to true>>\n\nYou've felt his eyes around you since you got on the train and you're not sure what hapened. You're afraid to look up, but you do it anyway.\n \nHis hoodie is up but his eyes, cold and grey, are clear under the yellowing light. He's not looking at you.\n\nHe's looking past you.\n\nHe's looking at [[her|woman]].
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You walk between the man and the woman and you suddenly realize you have no idea what to say.\n\n"Wht the fuck do you think you're doing?" \n\nThe man is staring down at you now, you can feel his breath against your face. You wish you could say something but you're not really sure what you're doing. Stopping this, you guess. You say it without thinking an extra instant.\n\n"Stopping you?"\n\nShit, you didn't mean for that to be a question. \n\n"You don't seem so sure," he chuckles and shoves you back into the chairs. You hold your ground and shove back.\n\n"You're bothering her, stop. Please."\n\n"What's your name?" He spits onto the floor.\n\nI'm <<textinput $name, "[[you mutter.]]">>
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Yeah, you're not squeezing in between Lord Manspread and the grandmother cowering next to him. You've got better things to worry about, like keeping your dinner where it is.\n\nYou lean up against the pole a little closer, hooking it beneath your armpit to avoid freezing up your hand. It's comfortable, [[appearances]] be damned. And standing there, hands cold, armpit colder, brain spinning in place liek a carousel, you remember how much you hate the [[subway]].\n
<<playsound "music/ride.wav">>\n\nIt's the people, you assume. The way they pour in and pour out, forming rivers and tributaires of humans grouped in dehumanizing throngs. \n\nYou always liked the word "throngs." You're drunk right now, and you realzie it sounds a lot like "thongs," which makes you like it more. It's a versatile word, unlike "subway" which is just two things. A bad sandwich shop, and a place where people stare at you like you're in an aquarium.\n\nYou stare at them too, it's just what you do. You've been staring at this old Asian lady knitting a scarf for about three minutes now. She's intent, and even the rocking and the shaking of the subway car won't stop her from unleashing this scarf on the world.\n\nYou did stare at this one guy in a black hoodie earlier, but you caught eye contact for a second and you looked away.\n\n[[It's only natural]].
[[You fall.]]
"I'm just gonna go now."\n\n"What?"\n\nYou're staring up at him now, but he's looking away, he's looking at the door.\n\n"I'm going to go. I'm going to sit down and ride until my stop comes up."\n\nThe train lurches to stop suddenly and you wobble in place for a moment. He doesn't budge an inch. You see the woman slide out the doors.\n\n"I kind of need you to move. I want to sit down somewhere," you say, surpising yourself with how calm you're being. \n\n"Uh, yeah, sure," he seems prtty surprised all this is happening himself. \n\nYou slip away from him, and he walks [[towards the doors]].
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