Priapism

<p>You are [[depressed.]]</p>

<p>You take [[pills.]]</p>

<p>Pills have [[side-effects.]]</p>

<h2>Like a Raging Erection Lasting Longer Than <I>4</I> Hours.</h2> [[(FUCK!)]]

<p>What are you gonna do about that? 1. [[Beat it off.]] 2. [[Seek medical help.]]

<p>You pull down your pants. You grasp your penis. It is more turgid than ever before. Normally this would be a blessing, but now it is nothing but misery and shame. You begin to use the masterbatory method that was passed down from your father and his father before him. Your families ancient techniques are no match for your medically enhanced member. You try different styles. [[The Milker]] </p>

<p>"Seek medical help for erections lasting longer than 4 hours." That's what they say in all the commercials, but do you know what this "Medical Help" really is? 1.[[Yes.]] 2.[[No.]]</p>

<h2>[[Faster]]</h2>

<h2>[[Faster|fast1]]</h2>

<h2 style="text-align:right">[[Faster|fast2]]</h2>

<h2>[[Faster|fast3]]</h2>

<h2 style="text-align:center">[[Faster|fast4]]</h2>

<h2>[[Faster|fast5]]</h2>

<h2 style="text-align:right">[[Faster|fast6]]</h2>

<h2>[[Faster|fast7]]</h2>

<h2>[[Faster|fast8]]</h2>

<h2>[[Faster|fast9]]</h2>

<h2>[[Faster|fast10]]</h2>

<h2>[[FASTER|fast11]]</h2>

<p>Well that was pointless, and now you have an erection lasting longer than <I>6</I> hours. Your hands are callused and sore. Your dick is raw and bloody. The pain is unbearable. You feel like you will explode if you don't come soon. This might just be the time to take [[drastic actions]].</p>

<p>That was a <I>rhetorical question</I>, dipshit. Anyway this is what the doctor's [[will do|No.]].</p>

<h2>They JAM a NEEDLE into your DICK!</h2> <p>Fuck that right? I'm sure you can just [[beat it off|Beat it off.]], you're good at that.</p>

<p>1. [[Find something to fuck.]] 2. [[Scream for help.]] 3. [[Wait, and hope it goes away on its own.]] 4. [[Just cut it off!]]</p>

<p>You search around the room to find an appropriate opening. 1. [[Toaster.]] 2. [[Sink.]] </p>

<p>You wait an hour. You wait another. And another. And another. [[Nothing.]]</p>

<p>Wow! That is drastic. But who am I to judge. So, [[anyway...]]</p>

<p>Then your penis explodes and blood and cum shower your body and the walls and your furniture and your floors and a bit gets onto the ceiling and also your dog and oh, yeah I think you have some in your teeth, no not there the other side, almost got it, down a little, here let me get you some floss. [[END]]</p>

<h3> THANK YOU FOR PLAYING.</h3> 1. [[Play Again|Title]] 2. [[Back to Dachshund ♥ Techno|https://dachshundhearttechno.neocities.org/]]

<p>You run out into the street screaming.</p> <h2>HELP I HAVE AN ERECTION!</h2> <p>People look at you, they are confused.</p> <h2>IT WON'T GO AWAY!</h2> <p>People look away from you, they are frightened.</p> <h2>WON'T SOMEONE PLEASE GET ME OFF!</h2> <p>People look at their phones, dialing 911 franticly.</p> <H2>[[FUCK ME!]]</H2>

<P>The police show up and they shoot you to death. Because you are a black man. Or, you just have a large dick so they think you are black. Either way you are dead. [[END]]

<p>You insert your erect penis into slot two of your four slot toaster. Everything seems to be going fine. Until you accidentally push down the toaster lever. You try to pull out but you are stuck. 1. [[Unplug toaster.]] 2. [[Try to break free.]] </p>

<p>You stick your dick into the sink and start to fuck it. Everything is going well. This might just be a [[happy ending.]]</p>

<p>Look. You were stupid enough to fuck a toaster without unplugging it first, do you really think you would be smart enough to unplug it now? No. You are not. Instead your dick continues to cook and then pops out all golden brown and it really smells good. Like, homemade waffles and bacon. You did not [[expect]] that.</p>

<p>You struggle to free your self from the toaster's grip. Finally, after much pain and toasting, you manage to break free. You also break your penis off. It is nicely cooked and is giving off an unusual aroma. You are starting to get hungry. You are now hungry. Let's make a [[sandwich.]]</p>

<p>You contemplate making a meal from your member. "What goes best with dick?" You wonder; red or white wine. But before you can decide, a rabid wolf breaks into your home and bites your penis off. "Wolves, of course, why didn't I think of that sooner" You wonder aloud, finally at peace with the world. [[END]]</p>

<p>Bread? 1. [[White.|condiments]] 2. [[Wheat.|condiments]] 3. [[Rye.|condiments]] 4. [[Pumpernickle.|condiments]]</p>

<p>Condiments? 1. [[Ketchup.|cheese]] 2. [[Mustard.|cheese]] 3. [[Mayonnaise|cheese]] 4. [[Arby's Sauce|cheese]]</p>

<p>Cheese? 1. [[Cheddar.|bacon]] 2. [[Provolone.|bacon]] 3. [[Swiss.|bacon]] 4. [[Shitty American Cheese Product.|bacon]]</p>

<p>Bacon? 1. [[Fuck Yeah!]]</p>

<p>You steady yourself for what's to come. You press your sandwich to your lips. You open your mouth. You start to salivate even though you also begin to dry heave. You take your [[first bite.]]</p>

<h2>HOLY SHIT!!!</h2> <p>That's the best damn sandwich you have had in your entire life! Why did it take this long for you to try eating dick? I guess Mom was right "You won't know if you like it until you try it." If only you had more [[dicks to eat.]]</p>

<p>But, You do! There are thousands, nay billions of dicks out there waiting for you to devour them. Hell, did you know that British people like to eat spotted dick? I am totally not making that up. If you don't believe me you can google it. [[END]]</p>

<h2>LOL NO!1!!</h2> <p>Instead you turn on the garbage disposal and it mangles and chews your penis up into tiny bits. But still no more erection so that's good. Plus, the sink was the best hole you ever had. [[END]]

<p>You find a knife and manage to hack your dick off. (It hurt me just to type that. I can't imagine what you must be feeling right now.) In one hand you hold a bloody knife, in the other your severed penis. Only one [[Problem.]] (Actually, there is a <I>lot</I> of problems, but whatever.)</p>

<h2>Your dick is still hard!</h2> <p>Worse you can still feel it. Phantom pains, or some shit. You're gonna have to do [[something]] about this.</p>

<p>1. [[Suck your cock.]] 2. [[Shove it up your ass.]] 3. [[Fuck the open wound where your penis used to be.]] 4. Sell it on <a href="http://www.ebay.com/">Ebay.</a>

<p>You begin to suck your cock. It quickly goes limp. You never were good at oral sex. [[END]]</p>

<p>You shove your severed dick up your ass and begin to ride it. This feels pretty good. Great, in fact. That is [[until...]]</p>

<p>You insert your penis into your flesh hole. It makes a squishy sound. [[continue.]]

<p>You manage to lose your penis up your butt. Bummer. Now there may be dozens of ways to pull your dick back out of your ass, but right now I can only think of [[one.]]</p>

<p>Send a [[gerbil]] up to retrieve it.</p>

<p>Hey, that actually worked! The gerbil climbed into your arse and up your intestines and then gobbled up your penis. Only now we have another [[problem]].</p>

<h2>You have a gerbil stuck up your butt!</h2> <p>But don't worry, I have a [[solution.]]</p>

<p>We shove a snake up your ass. You see the snake will slither up it and then eat the gerbil. Of course that would just leave us with a new problem, mainly you would have a snake up your butt. But don't worry I got this [[covered.]]</p>

<p>Mongoose. [[END]]</p>

[[Stick it in.]]

[[Nice like that.]]

[[Wiggle, Wiggle.]]

[[Hankering for some lovin.]]

[[Look at you, cowboy.]]

[[You do in it.]]

[[Who's ya Daddy?]]

[[OOooOOoooOOOoooo Yeah! Momma like.]]

[[Almost there.]]

[[No, down lower.]]

[[Look, do I have to do everything myself?]]

[[Yeah, that's the spot.]]

[[Just a little more...]]

[[Finish it.]]

<h2>Oh, Yes! Yes! YES!!!!!!!!!!</h2> <p>CONGRATULATIONS! You have successfully orgasmed X2! Your bloody vag-hole fills with cum. Your severed penis is no longer erect. It is most relaxing sensation. One for the history books. You must be feeling real good now bro. Best sex ya ever had. But one more [[problemo.]]</p>

<p>Your hole is bleeding rather profusely. You scan the room and discover to your delight a box of [[tampons.]]</p>

<p>You rip open the box and shove all the tampons into your body. They quickly absorb the blood. All looks good now. But maybe you should go to the emergency room sometime? [[END]]

<h2>WARNING</h2> <p>The following game contains scenes of a violent and sexual nature that some players <strike>may</strike> will find disturbing. Viewer Discretion and all that. Seriously I tried to warn you. (Also, don't play at work, or if your are underaged, and <I>especially</I> if you work with underaged children.) [[I agree not to sue Dachshund ♥ Techno for any reason related to the aforementioned.]] </p>

<p>The author of this game is not a medical physician or doctor of any type. Any medical claims are false or at least disproven and you should consult with your own doctor over any medical issues. [[Got it.]] Let's start.</p>

<p><u>Game and writing by:</u> <a href="https://twitter.com/DachshundTechno">Soda51</a> <u>Inspired by: </u> <a href="https://richardgoodness.wordpress.com/2015/03/17/73-altgames-and-fear-of-twine/">This</a> article by Richard Goodness. <a href="http://boingboing.net/2015/03/16/punk-games.html">This</a> article by Zoe Quinn. The #Altgames movement/hashtag/fad. <a href="http://aliendovecote.com/">Games</a> Porpentine makes. Insomnia. Drug commercials. [[Return|Title]]</p>

<h1 style="text-align:center">Fear of Twine Presents:</h1> <h2 style="text-align:center">Priapism</h2> <h1 style="text-align:center">A Dachshund ♥ Techno Game</h1> <p style="text-align:center">[[Start]] | [[Credits]]</p> <p style="text-align:center">#Altgames #NSFW #Sex #Violence #SelfHarm #GrossoutHumor #BrainBleach #NightmareFuel #FetishesYouNeverKnewYouHad #AdultsOnly #SideEffect #Horror #FoT #Kusoge #D<3T #Twine</p>