**She had loved him forever.**
In every life with every curse and moment that ended in more questions than answers. Something was inherently broken in her and now it is in you. Why can't you escape his frantic soul.
[[Love him forever.]]
[[Why does she love him?]]
Love Always Ends the Same Way.
<img src="http://orig09.deviantart.net/0c95/f/2015/344/1/d/edited_cover_smaller_by_darlarosa-d9jph9e.jpg" width="515" height="378" alt="Two foxes">
Despite what you've done,
The curse that you've become,
You can't forgive him,
But you can not escape him.
He makes you
Want to forget him.
Cannot forgive him.
Why does anyone love anyone?
In every life he has the same smile. It is always just for you. He finds the darkest corners and makes them light again in ways you didn't know were possible.
[[Love him forever-> Whole]]
When you love other's you still love each other.
Across place and time there. You are always together.
Your lovers ask what is wrong?
You kiss your lovers to make [[them]] feel better.
[[Love Him Forever]]
He pulls out the floor and makes you his whore.
You can try to forget him, but you always find him,
Man or woman. Lion or Owl.
Dancer and Singer.
Murderer and bleeder.
Always together. Forever together.
Who are you without him?
[[Try to forget him]]
[[Love Him Forever]]
It's all you can do.
His body is your temple.
Yours is his god.
He petitions you despite himself.
Gives his all from within himself.
Icarus. Your Icarus since before there *was* an Icarus.
In the earliest caves you called him [[Yours.]]
<img src="http://orig13.deviantart.net/db1b/f/2015/344/5/d/forever_love_by_darlarosa-d9jphth.jpg" width="482" height="482" alt="Forever Love">
Forget what he did?
The things that he hid?
The kingdoms that fell when under your [[spell?]]
The [[pains]] you carry with you make you who you are in every life.
And you can't resist if you tried.
You loved it all and how he lied.
The drama of it even when you cried,
For power or peace,
For Mayans or Greeks,
Forgetting isn't an option even if you don't remember.
[[Love Him Forever]]
[[Stop the cycle. Protest God.]]
Whose god if any will you petion?
[[The gods who made you. The ones who cursed you and called you daughter. You are not like them any more.]]
You remember being his.
You remember his being yours.
"Forever and always," whispered softly though who remembers who said it first?
Weak words and mortal promises get dragged out again and again.
He hates you as much as he loves you. It is deeper than any other feeling a person can imagine. It's beauty shows in the lives where he kills you. Perhaps its pay back for the first life where you killed him. Such morbid sweetness sickens you, but your heart flutters.
[[Your skin crawls at memories]].
They do not care in the way you want,
But they listen good and hard,
And then you remember his face,
And all his faces,
And your body becomes hot.
[[No matter what you do you will love him forever.->End]]
*Do you remember their names? Do you remember how they held you? To you they were kin. Their names were auntie and uncle; Mother and father; Grandmother and Granga; Granfather and Gri-gran. You made them dandelion chains with small stubby fingers.*
Their skin sparkled like diamonds and melting brass; and the mortals then were healthy and strong. Your people wore masks of all adornments, and danced for your mortal friends. No one hungered and war was rare.
You tore it apart when you loved him.
His love for you **consumed** the world.
He did it all for you.
They did not help you then.
They will not help you now.
[[You will love him forever->Love Him Forever]]
[[You cry silently]]
<img src="http://pre08.deviantart.net/908a/th/pre/i/2012/334/3/2/desire_by_darlarosa-d5mmjcs.jpg" width="774" height="1032" alt="Desire">
<img src="http://orig14.deviantart.net/6217/f/2014/114/f/b/lady_in_waiting_by_darlarosa-d7fuhcw.png" width="501" height="595" alt="Lady in Waiting">
You awaken with a yawn.
Arms stretched out to greet the new dawn.
In an hour you are off to class,
Uniform pressed and voice clear as glass,
As you sing to a lover you want to believe you will never meet in another life [[again]].
It was not all bad. You remember a good life. You were a man strong and broad. He was a woman vivacious and kind. Your body was carved from stone, and he kissed it like a idol.
You grew old and your hardness turned to a worn tired sack. Her softness wrinkled and her kindness tamed her vivaciousness when it turned around to bite her.
*He was always getting bitten that way no matter the life.*
[[Life was good despite that]].
Sometimes the memories stay hidden. You create imaginary people as children not knowing where they're from, or you day dream about a figure as handsome as he is generous.
You can taste the regret,
But the yearning is too sweet.
Sometimes you do not know if it is real when you wake up.
[[End]] it all.
Your voice carries on with every ounce of feeling in your old soul.
But your mind drifts to before you were old, and as he stares at you all you feel is so very young. So many times you have [[loved him]] and now he is there unable to help feel the same racing heart as you. His eyes aren't pure like in the song. He is [[too old]] for that as are you despite your youthful bodies. No one will know you like he does. No one will ever understand your [[curse]] and accept you as he does. He has given you the moon and the sky. You have given him safe haven.
And he has done it time and time [[again.]]
The children cried at your deathbed, and with your children's children carried out rituals that would become history book lessons for bored and eager school children.
Even in new lives you smile at those distant descendents of your essence, as they grab their lattes or wipe runny noses under the cool fall winds.
It will never truly [[End]].
<img src="http://orig07.deviantart.net/e433/f/2015/344/8/8/the_good_life_by_darlarosa-d9jpicu.jpg" width="555" height="623" alt="The Good Life">
An audience of rowdy teenage students makes for the worst audience. That is true in almost every life.
Texting captivates them. Hand holding scadelizes them. They're giggling silently before being interupted by your loud and soulful alto. You do your best to pretend to be Nina Simone. They don't matter. No one out there does.
*"Black is the color of [[my true loves]] hair,"*
One time there was a beautiful man. He had a body built by Zeus and an afro sculpted by master artisans. You tried acting casual when you asked him to dance, but by the end of the night you were hot. Months passed and you two were on your way to the *real* thing.
Cruising along 99, as he's singing out some smooth Earth, Wind, and Fire. Through your sunglasses the world looks perfect and so is life. You've been planning that little carry-out he dreamed of in your head. You think Mama Oakly's banana pudding would sell out every day.
"Baby...are you diggin' on someone else?"
He says it with a joking smile. It doesn't hide his uneasiness or the hurt in his eyes.
[[The other time...]]
Spinsters. Two old aunties that is what the children say. You and your little Eleanor have lived quite a long life together. It seems like just yesterday you were putting on that silly, but well cut, suit and dancing the night away with Freddie. You loved him in your own intimate way, but after he passed in that auto accident you met Eleanor, and it's been you and her forever. Nobody could ever ask you to choose between champagne and wine, but the wine has proven sweeter.
*You preferred both.*
Eleanor is sitting so quietly in her chair, but her mind is a tulmult. You're trying to focus on fixing the whole in your gloves, but you give it about five minutes [[before-]]
"Do you love me Betsy?" Eleanor's pleading eyes always make your heart break.
"I do. I love you more than air, my little peach." You almost ask why she is asking, but you stopped long ago. Freddie and her are so alike. He would do the same thing and when you met her you thought it was because you did like wine over champagne. But no...you prefer both.
You don't know how they know. They almost always know. You love them, but even as you blow a kiss at Eleanor you feel *him* somewhere in the world. He exists and you will always belong to him. You love Eleanor so damned much, but she always has doubts. It is always your fault.
It is then you see him sitting in row D in the fourth seat.
*Why? Why is here?*
Handsome bright eyes that darken as you catch them. You know his heart though not his name, and it is obvious he is afraid. You are captivated by him. He looks like he doesn't know what expression to make, as though he intruded on you in your life. It's endearing, but true.
[["I love my love and well he knows."]]
As you stand up on that hot stage surrounded by your classmates, as the piano slowly builds under your velvety voice, you can remember the pain and the depth of his love for you in every single life. He made you feel bathed in light and furious passion even when that passion was mostly rage. No one understands you like he does.
"I love the ground on which he stands,"
You always do.
But maybe since you are stuck together you should learn his name.
*A story written in an evening and over years. *
A story of all consuming love despite what you want to want and who are you are now. Against the odds and all sound advice you will love each other *forever*.
<center>[[Begin->Love Forever ]] </center>
The gods without names and books about them do not laugh even though it always feels like it. They loved you even as they cursed you. *"Why? Why could you not resist?"* You hear their thoughts between lives, and you wonder what they ask him.
Sometimes you swear limbo is filled with his cries. He wants to be forgiven and he has never believed they loved him. Only you.
Is that why he cannot resist you?
[[Back->"I love my love and well he knows."]]
Loved him as he grabs your hair.
"Harder. Faster. Yes. This" is all you think.
Loved him as he sings his songs.
"He makes the world more beautiful." is all you say.
Loved him as he fights and grabs with a desperation that follows him in every single life. It is more his companion than you. Hungry. Aching. All the time. You see it so clearly in his eyes that it becomes you, and it is always there beneath everything else. He just wants to be loved in a way no creature should ever be capable of.
And so do you.
[[Back->"I love my love and well he knows."]]
What life was it?
His black hair had turned totally gray then, and he could not take his boat from the shore without some young man to help. Most days he sat by the window and listened as you told him exotic stories of your travels. For much of your youth he told his own stories, but now the day is yours.
Sometimes he laughs so hard he lapses into coughing and tears. Other times he grabs you close and tells you how much he loves your stories. Every life and every story.
[[Back->"I love my love and well he knows."]]
Perhaps it is the screaming that seems to be everywhere, or the sounds of your soldiers fighting an army armed by your kin, but the world seems so much smaller than before. How many of your friends opposed you and how many of them are dead? Your whole wedding party is at each other's throats, and how many of your siblings are dead? You were the second to last. **You** were the *misfit*. They denied it. Now it is proven true.
Your husband is enraptured. He fights with something more dangerous than blood lust, desperation. For you he will tear the world apart.
"Don't you dare blame him alone for this! You're here. You could kill him. You destroyed us." Your sister's voice is above every other sound. She never liked violence. She's so so soft, and now she's covered in blood because of you. You love him...but... the blood is everywhere.
[[Back->Try to forget him]]
Crawling beneath your skin is a burning skeleton. Through your abdomin maggots made from remenants of your many lives make you want to vomit. You can feel their endless squirming every time you try to breathe. When you try to pull them out all you catch is flesh. In one life you were told that it is in your head; *Those lives; Those bugs*. You tell yourself that too, but you don't believe the lie. They wanted you to believe the lie because it went against their gods and reason; or perhaps it conformed to their gods, but frightened them still. No one listens or understands. Your soul is in agony because of the weight crushing the corpse of your first life. That life is undead in you and it hurts.
This is love.
[[Pains->Try to forget him]]
**Thank you for playing my first interactive fiction.**
This story is one I have always had in my head about a woman whose soul is that of a goddess of creation and her truest love, a god of destruction. Reincarnation is an intriguing thing, and I have always loved the idea of experiencing something new and exciting. Yet there is something compelling, and comforting, about always having a constant in one's life. Perhaps that and a healthy does of *Sailor Moon* led to 14 year old me dreaming up this story, which is unlike anything I've written before.
Each illustration is done by me as was the clay mask. Some are as old as six years and others were finished within a day of this being posted. Yet they were all inspired by the same story that has spanned almost a decade in my mind. I'm no professional artist(obviously), but I tried my best to capture what is in my head. Truth be told I'm more of painter, but I hope you enjoyed them along with the text.
Once again, thank you.
**With sincere thanks and hopes for your well being,