JM Bibliotek of Doom Teaser V7

<body>You awaken in a dark closet. Your hands are bound behind your back with rope. Small shafts of light peek through cracks in the wall. [[Look around closet->Look Closet2]] [[Struggle->Struggle1]] [[Try to remember->Remember]] Or if you've lived the nightmare before, here are some helpful buttons. [[Jump to the Attic|Jump to CultistAttic]] [[Jump to the Basement|Jump to CultBasementCorridor]] [[Jump to Rubble|Jump to Rubble]] [[Jump to the Barricade|Jump to the Barricade]] [[Jump to Sam|Jump to Sam]] [[Jump to the Courtyard|Jump to the Courtyard]] [[Jump to The Choice|Jump to Decide1]] [[Jump to the Tower|Jump Up the Tower2]] </body>

The closet is bare, save for a metal hook attached to the ceiling. Not much to see while lying on the floor. [[Struggle->Struggle1]] [[Try to remember->Remember]]

You wiggle and shake at the ropes. [[Struggle More->Struggle2]] [[Look around closet->Look Closet2]] [[Try to remember|Remember]]

Oh yeah. You remember now. You are Jonas Mallory. Your life sucks! If it's not one thing, it's another. You try to return a library book and someone jumps you and now you're here. [[Look around closet->Look Closet2]] [[Struggle->Struggle1]]

You wiggle just enough to escape. That's cool.(set: $Tied to 1) [[Stand up->Closet2 Stand]]

You are now in the bare closet without your hands bound. Progress! [[Onward!->Closet2standing]]

{<head> <style> table, th, td {border: #330064 ridge 0.8em; border-radius: 0.5em; padding: 0px;} </style> </head> <body>} <hr hidden> {<div><table style="width:100%;"><tr> <th style="width:25vw;">}Hands</th> <th style="width:25vw">Eyes</th> <th style="width:25vw;">Mouth</th> <th style="width:25vw;">Inventory</th> </tr> <tr> <td style="width:25vw; max-height:21vh; #ccc;overflow:auto; padding:0px;">(display: "Hands") </td> <td style="width:25vw; max-height:21vh; #ccc;overflow:auto;">(display: "Eyes") </td> <td style="width:25vw; max-height:21vh; #ccc;overflow:auto;">(display: "Mouth") </td> <td style="width:25vw; max-height:21vh; #ccc;overflow:auto;">(display: "Inventory")</td></tr></table></div></body>

(if: $inroom contains "Hook")[[[Use Hands on Hook|Use Hands on Hook]] ] (if: $inroom contains "Door")[[[Use Hands on Door|Use Hands on Door]] ] (if: $inroom contains "Gonklegs")[ (unless: $talkedabout contains "Gonkkey")[[[Grab at Gonk's legs|Use Hands on Gonklegs]] ] (else:)[[[Grab key from Gonk's Pocket|Use Hands on Gonklegs]] ]](if: $inroom contains "Gonkhead")[[[Push Gonk through hole|Use Hands on Gonkhead]] [[Touch Gonk|Touch on Gonkhead]] ] (if: $inroom contains "Altar")[[[Use Altar|Use Hands on Altar]] ] (if: $inroom contains "Window")[[[Open Window|Use Hands on Window]] ] (if: $inroom contains "Bystander2")[[[Grab Bystander|Use Hands on Bystander2]] ](if: $inroom contains "Edna")[(if: $Jsaw contains "Edna")[[[Help Edna down|Help Edna]] ] ](if: $inroom contains "Maxwell")[[[Fist Bump Captain Max|Hands Maxwell]] ](if: $inroom contains "Sam")[[[Shake Sam's Hand|Hands with Sam]] [[Knock Sam's drink out of his hand|Hands with SamDrink]] ](if: $inroom contains "Bambi")[[[Move Bambi's magizine out of the way|Hands with Bambi]] ] (if: $inroom contains "Deep God")[[[Wave at Deep God|Hands on DeepLib]] ](if: $inroom contains "Fountain")[[[Fish around in Fountain for change|Hands on FountLib]] ](if: $inroom contains "Dan Uki Pamphlets")[[[Give Dan Uki the finger|Hands on DanHands]] ](if: $inroom contains "Elle Statue")[[[Take Elle's hand|Hands on ElleLib]] ](if: $inroom contains "Markus")[ [[Plat Patty cake with Markus|Hands on MarkusEnd]] ] (if: $inroom contains "Rioters")[ [[Grab a weapon and join the Rioters|Hands on RiotersEnd]] ] (if: $inroom contains "Goop")[ [[Touch pile of Goop|Hands on GoopEnd]] ] (if: $inroom contains "Charlie")[(if: $TouchCharlie is true)[](else:)[ [[Touch Charlie|Hands on CharlieEnd]]] ](if: $inroom contains "Arthur")[ [[Help Arthur with wounded|Hands on ArthurEnd]] ](if: $inroom contains "Deep God Face")[ [[Slap Deep God|Slap Deep God]] ]

(if: $where contains "Attic")[ [[Look at Bulletin board]](if: (history:) contains "Look at table")[ ](else:)[ [[Look at table]] ][[Look at Altar]] ](if: $inroom contains "Hook")[[[Look at Hook|Use Eyes on Hook]] ] (if: $inroom contains "Door")[[[Look at Door|Use Eyes on Door]] ] (if: $inroom contains "Gonklegs")[[[Look at Gonk|Look at Gonklegs]] ] (if: $inroom contains "Gonkhead")[[[Look at Gonk|Use Eyes on Gonkhead]] ] (if: $inroom contains "Altar")[](if: $inroom contains "Window")[[[Look out Window|Use Eyes on Window]] ] (if: $inroom contains "Bystander2")[[[Look at Bystander|Use Eyes on Bystander2]] ](if: $inroom contains "Edna")[(if: $Jsaw contains "Edna")[[[Look at Edna|Look Edna]] ](else:)[[[Look at Woman|Look Edna]]] ](if: $inroom contains "Maxwell")[[[Look at Captain Max|Look Maxwell]] ](if: $inroom contains "Sam")[[[Look at Sam|Look Sam]] ](if: $inroom contains "Bambi")[[[Look at Bambi|Look Bambi]] ](if: $inroom contains "Deep God")[[[Witness Deep God|Eyes on DeepLib]] ](if: $inroom contains "Fountain")[[[Peer into fountain|Eyes on FountLib]] ](if: $inroom contains "Dan Uki Pamphlets")[[[Eye Dan Uki, suspiscously|Eyes on DanEyes]] ](if: $inroom contains "Elle Statue")[[[Watch L fight|Eyes on ElleLib]] ](if: $inroom contains "Markus")[ [[Look at Markus|Eyes on MarkusEnd]] ](if: $inroom contains "Rioters")[ [[Survey Rioters|Eyes on RiotersEnd]] ](if: $inroom contains "Goop")[ [[Examine Goop|Eyes on GoopEnd]] ](if: $inroom contains "Charlie")[ [[Watch Charlie move|Eyes on CharlieEnd]] ](if: $inroom contains "Arthur")[ [[Look at Arthur|Eyes on ArthurEnd]] ](if: $inroom contains "Deep God Face")[ [[Look into red void|Eyes on RedVoid]] [[Have staring contest with corpse|Eyes on Corpse]] ]

(if: $inroom contains "Hook")[[[Use Mouth on Hook|Use Mouth on Hook]] ](if: $inroom contains "Door")[[[Use Mouth on Door|Use Mouth on Door]] ](if: $inroom contains "Gonklegs")[[[Bite Gonk|Use Mouth on Gonklegs]] [[Talk to Gonk|Talk to Gonklegs]] ] (if: $inroom contains "Gonkhead")[[[Bite Gonk|Use Mouth on Gonkhead]] [[Talk to Gonk|TalkGonkhead]] ] (if: $inroom contains "Altar")[[[Lick Altar|Use Mouth on Altar]] ] (if: $inroom contains "Window")[[[Yell out Window|Use Mouth on Window]] ] (if: $inroom contains "Bystander2")[[[Talk to Bystander|Use Mouth on Bystander2]] ] (if: $inroom contains "Sam")[[[Talk to Sam|Talk to Sam]] ] (if: $inroom contains "Sam")[[[Yell in frustration at Sam|use mouth on Sam]] ](if: $inroom contains "Bambi")[[[Talk to Bambi|Talk to Bambi]] ](if: $inroom contains "Bambi")[[[Kiss to Bambi|Use Mouth with Bambi]] ](if: $inroom contains "Deep God")[[[Scream at Deep God|Mouth on DeepLib]] ](if: $inroom contains "Fountain")[[[Drink from fountain|Mouth on FountLib]] ](if: $inroom contains "Dan Uki Pamphlets")[[[Yell vaugely in Dan Uki's direction|Mouth on DanMouth]] ](if: $inroom contains "Elle Statue")[[[Sing to L|Mouth on ElleLib]] ](if: $inroom contains "Markus")[ [[Yell obsentities at Markus|Mouth on MarkusEnd]] ](if: $inroom contains "Rioters")[ [[Get the Rioters to join you in a chant|Mouth on RiotersEnd]] ](if: $inroom contains "Goop")[ [[Lick Goop|Mouth on GoopEnd]] ](if: $inroom contains "Charlie")[ [[Call out to Charlie|Mouth on CharlieEnd]] ](if: $inroom contains "Arthur")[ [[Show Arthur your teeth|Mouth on ArthurEnd]] ] (if: $inroom contains "Deep God Face")[ [[Yell at Deep god|Mouth on DeepTow1]] (if: $Towerstatus contains "Prone")[](else:)[ [[Talk to Deep God|Mouthon DeepTow2]]] [[Talk to Corpse|Mouth on Corpse]] ]

Go to where?(display: $InvUsing)

(if: $where contains "badcloset")[(if: $inroom contains "Hook")[You are Jonas Mallory. Your life sucks! If it's not one thing it's another. You try to return a library book and someone jumps you and and now you're here! (if: $Inventory contains "Rope")[At least you picked up that rope...That's something.] (else:)[At least you are out of that rope. ] ] (if: $GonkPace is 1)[ Frankly it's hard to concentrate with that creaking floorboard.]](if: $inroom contains "Gonklegs")[You are Jonas Mallory. Your life sucks! If it's not one thing it's another. You try to escape a closet and the roof comes down on you. Now you're staring at your would be captor's flailing legs.(unless: $talkedabout contains "Gonkkey")[Maybe you can get some information from him. ](else:)[Maybe you can convice him to give you his key. An optimist would try to reason with him. You on the other hand...] ](if: $where contains "Attic")[You are Jonas Mallory. Your life sucks! If it's not one thing it's another. (if: $Inventory contains "Panties")[You return a library book and someone steals your only proof that you did. Oh well better go get it.](else:)[ You return a library book and someone steals all your stuff. Well it should be around here somewhere.]](if: $where contains "Sapphire street")[You are Jonas Mallory. Your life sucks! If it's not one thing it's another. You try to retrieve a receipt for your timesheet and some jerk summons a world ending horror. Maybe you can get some help. Quid Pro Quo. Which is a Latin phase you heard one place before. [[What does that mean?|QPQMeaning]]]{ }(if: $where contains "Slick Street")[You are Jonas Mallory. Your life sucks! If it's not one thing it's another. You try to find safety and get trapped in a Barricade Cage. Oh well, better get a lay of the land until an opening...opens]{(if: $where contains "Glister street")[You are Jonas Mallory. Your life sucks! If it's not one thing it's another. Try to escape the Apocolypse, and run right into your boss. He'll kill you if you don't get that reciept. No really, not hyperbole. Well you better go get it.] }(if: $where contains "Ringle Courtyard")[You are Jonas Mallory. Your life sucks! If it's not one thing it's another. You spent so much time hoping you'd never see that damn library again, and now a Deep god thought it would be good to sit on it. Oh well, you gotta find someone/thing that can help you get that recpiet. and you know...save the world.]{ }(if: $where contains "Clocktower")[You are Jonas Mallory. Your life sucks! If it's not one thing it's another. Mind your own business, run up a tower, piss off a cultist and you get stabbed. Well, the Deep God is right there. Do you have anything that can hurt him?] (display: "Thereturnkey")

<h1>Inventory</h1> --- (display: "Inventory03") (display: "Thereturnkey")

You aren't close enough to bite the hook like a fish. --- (display: "Closet2standing")

You call out to anyone that might be behind the door. <jonastext>"Hey? Can you let me out?"</jonastext> After a minute you come to the conclusion that either there isn't anyone out there, or no one cares about you. --- (if: $inroom contains "Hook")[(display: "Closet2standing")](else:)[(display: "Destroyed closet")]

He'd kick your teeth out. Or in. or whatever. --- (display: "Destroyed closet")

He might bite you back. --- (display: "CultistAttic")

You'd rather not get Hepatitis J. --- (display: "CultistAttic")

You yell at the window hoping that someone will hear you, stop what they're doing, locate the direction of the sound, decide to help a total stranger in vague danger, come over to where you are, and help you. You wait for someone to do all of those things... You shrug, Oh well. --- (display: "CultistAttic")

[[Ask about Dark Lord]](if: $bystander2 is "Half")[ [[Ask about Half Orks]] [[Ask what he is doing here|Ask what is he doing here]] ] (if: $bystander2 is "Pants")[ [[Ask about Ork Pants]] [[Ask what he is doing here|Ask what is he doing here]]](if: $bystander2 is "Woman")[ [[Ask about Ork Women]] [[Ask what she is doing here|Ask what is she doing here]] ] (display: "Thereturnkey")

Closet standing

It's out of reach. --- (display: "Closet2standing")

You knock politely on the door. No answer. --- (if: $inroom contains "Hook")[(display: "Closet2standing")](else:)[(display: "Destroyed closet")]

He's kicking too furiously. If you get close, you'll get kicked in the head. --- (display: "Destroyed closet")

His stubbly beard is scratchy. <gonktext>"Hey stop that!"</gonktext> --- (display: "CultistAttic")

It was always your dream to get an unknown substance on you hands! Oh wait. No it wasn't! --- (display: "CultistAttic")

If you punch the window, you will get glass embedded in your hand. Also, the window is painted shut. --- (display: "CultistAttic")

(if: $bystander2 is "Half")[You reach out to the bucket but the man stops you. <npctext>"You don't want what's in here."</npctext> Judging by the smell; he's right.](if: $bystander2 is "Pants")[<jonastext>"Wow. This is high end silk."</jonastext> <npctext>"Yes and it's quite expensive so could you not put your grubby hands on it?"</npctext> The ork shoves you aside and checks to make sure you didn't damage anything. ](if: $bystander2 is "Woman")[You reach out touch the orcish woman's dress, but stop when you notice her expression. She winks. <npctext>"Don't worry, I won't bite...where it'll show." </npctext> You believe her. ] (display: "Thereturnkey")

On the ceiling is a metal hook. It probably held a lantern, before this closet was repurposed as a Jonas containment unit. --- (display: "Closet2standing")

Yeah, that's a door. --- (if: $inroom contains "Hook")[(display: "Closet2standing")](else:)[(display: "Destroyed closet")]

You cannot see much other than his greenish grey legs. His pants are torn and his toes are long and gnarled. Just at the top of the hole, you see his arms wedged alongside his body. He cannot reach anything but his pocket. --- (display: "Destroyed closet")

He looks slightly annoyed and very ugly. But who knows? Maybe for Orks he’s quite attractive. --- (display: "CultistAttic")

Looking out the window, you see a surprisingly clean street. Even weirder, you don't see anyone getting stabbed, robbed, or chased by thugs. What is this city coming to? --- (display: "CultistAttic")

(if: $bystander2 is "Half")[He has a pronounced underbite, grayish skin, and an implacable expression. His clothes are filthy and hard worn, and he has what you hope is dirt smeared all over his arms. ](if: $bystander2 is "Pants")[His suit is perfect: A silken vest, white shirtsleeves, and impeccable tie. Other than the fact that his face looks like a blind person sculpted it with their feet, he wouldn't be out of place on the cover of a magazine. ] (if: $bystander2 is "Woman")[She wears a blue dress and holds a beaded handbag. The dress complements her...robust figure and broad shoulders. The neckline is low cut, and the split leg skirt goes much higher than most. She notices your eyes and raises her eyebrows. "If you look any harder, I might get embarrassed."] (display: "Thereturnkey")

You pick up the rope. (set: $Inventory to it + (array: "Rope")) ---- (display: "Closet2standing")

(if: (history:) contains "Look Through Hole")[](else:)[ [[Look Through Hole]] ](if: $Inventory contains "Rope")[](else:)[ [[Pick up Rope]] ][[Open Door|Closetdoor]]

{<head> <style> tw-passage {max-height: 99vh;} </style> </head> <body>}{ (set: $inroom to [] ) (set: $inroom to (array: "Bystander2")) (set: $where to "OutOttic") }<div stlye="max-height: 40vh;"><div class="LocationPicture"><img src="http://placehold.it/450x450" data-raw="" class="" style="max-width: 25vw; max-height: 30vh; height: auto; width: auto; padding-right:5px; padding-bottom:5px;"></div><h1>Fancy Street</h1> (if: $met contains "street")[You are on the rich side of town. You might want to get out of here before someone arrests you for loitering. ](else:)[(if: $Winjump is true)[You stand up and brush the glass from your hair. That was very painful.]] Looking around you realize you are on the wrong side of the tracks. That is to say, you don't belong on rich side of town and you are on the rich part of town. You get some sideways glances from the hoity toity pedestrians. (if: $met contains "street")[(if: $bystander2 is "Half")[Watching you from across the street, is a burly young man with a pronounced overbite. He stands a foot taller than you, has a bucket in one hand, and stares at you like you just finished a bad performance of a complicated musical number and were expecting applause.] (if: $bystander2 is "Pants")[Watching you from across the street is an ork in a well fitting suit. He stands with a pencil tucked behind his ear and a box in his hands, staring at you as if you had turnips in your ears. ] (if: $bystander2 is "Woman")[Watching you from across the street is an ork in a blue dress. She stands with a tube of green paint poised at her lips, staring at you like you had a duck sitting on your head.]](else:)[ (if: $bystander2 is "Half")[Watching you from across the street is a burly young man with a pronounced overbite. He stands a foot taller than you, has a bucket in one hand, and stares at you like you just finished a bad performance of a complicated musical number and were expecting applause.] (if: $bystander2 is "Pants")[Watching you from across the street is an ork in a well fitting suit. He stands with a pencil tucked behind his ear and a box in his hands staring at you like you had turnips in your ears. ] (if: $bystander2 is "Woman")[Watching you from across the street is an ork in a blue dress. She stands with a tube of green paint poised at her lips, staring at you like you had a duck sitting on your head.] (if: $bystander2 is "Half")[<npctext>"Uh..."</npctext> he says putting down the bucket.] (if: $bystander2 is "Pants")[<npctext>"Uh..."</npctext> he says putting down the box.] (if: $bystander2 is "Woman")[<npctext>"Uh..."</npctext> she says, lowering the paint from her lips.] (if: $Winjump is true)[<npctext>"Why did you jump out of that window? You're not a thief, are you?"</npctext>] (else:)[<npctext>"Why did you bolt out of that door? You're not a thief, are you?"</npctext>] ](set: $met to it + (array: "street"))(if: $talkedabout contains "Hideout")[ --- Well you have two Options: * Go back to the library and ask for another receipt or * Go to the secret hideout of Dark Lord, where he and his cultists will be performing ghastly rituals. Frankly you don't like either one. [[Go to Hideout|ToHide]] [[Go back to library|ToLib]] ] --- (display: "TalkBystander2")</div></div></body>

The door is locked. ---- (display: "Closet2standing")

{<head> <style> ttt {float: right; max-width:50vw; min-width:40vw; border: #330064 ridge 0.8em; padding-top: 10px; padding-bottom: 10px; padding-right: 10px; padding-left: 10px; align: center;} TalkHead {float: left; max-width:50vw; border: #330064 0.8em; border-top-style: groove; border-right-style: ridge; border-bottom-style: ridge; border-left-style: groove; border-radius: 0.5em; align: center;} TalkHeadName {float: left; max-width:50vw; border: #330064 0.8em; border-top-style: groove; border-right-style: ridge; border-bottom-style: ridge; border-left-style: groove; border-radius: 0.5em; align: center;} table#t01 { border: #330064 ridge 0.8em; border-collapse: collapse; }} </style> </head> <body> <div style="float:left;"><table id="t01" style= "max-width:50vw; align: center;"> <th>}<img src="http://placehold.it/450x450" data-raw="" class="" style="max-height: 30vh; height: auto; width: auto; padding-right:5px; padding-bottom:5px;"> {</th> <tr> <th>Dark Lord</th> </tr> </table> </div> <div style="float:right;"><table id="t01" style= "max-width:50vw; align: center;"> <th>}<img src="http://placehold.it/450x450" data-raw="" class="" style="max-height: 30vh; height: auto; width: auto; padding-right:5px; padding-bottom:5px;"> {</th> <tr> <th>Gonk</th> </tr> </table> </div>}<gonkdarklordtext>"No!"</gonkdarklordtext> The black robe blurts out. <gonkdarklordtext>"If he didn't return it, we will need to interrogate him. I'll go check, You get my altar prepared for our sacrifice."</gonkdarklordtext> <gonktext>"Ok, ok."</gonktext> <gonkdarklordtext>"And make sure he doesn't escape the dungeon!"</gonkdarklordtext> <gonktext>"You mean the pantry?"</gonktext> responds Gonk. <gonkdarklordtext>"It's our dungeon. Not a pantry!"</gonkdarklordtext> <gonktext>"Look," </gonktext> says Gonk putting his hands on his hips. <gonktext>"My Grandfather minioned under Dark Lord Uberforth himself. This isn't my first thingy-where-you-grab-a-bull-for-some-reason. If you want to be a real Dark Lord, you're going to have to invest in a real dungeon. Not just have me empty the pantry every time you want to lock someone up." </gonktext> <gonkdarklordtext>"Silence!"</gonkdarklordtext> screams black robe. <gonkdarklordtext>"Who's the Dark Lord here?"</gonkdarklordtext> Gonk sighs, <gonktext>"You are."</gonktext> <gonkdarklordtext>"That's right!" </gonkdarklordtext> The Dark Lord flourishes his cloak and exits. Gonk dodges the cloak and follows</gonkdarklordtext> You hear a door slam. Shortly, you begin hearing a creaking sound as a loose floor board in the ceiling above you is stepped on. This creaking sound continues periodically. Gonk must be moving things around above you.(set: $GonkPace to 1) [[How do you get yourself into these messes?|Closet2standing]]</body>

A pair of Charlie's underwear. This pink lacey undergarment with an elasticated waistband wouldn't cover much and unboutedly wouldn't cover enough.(set: $InvUsing to "Use Panties Table") ''Use Panties with what?''(if: $inroom contains ("Gonkhead"))[ [[Talk to Gonk about Panties|Use Panties on Gonkhead]] ] (if: $Inventory contains ("Whiskey"))[ [[Use Panties on Whiskey|Use Panties on Whiskey]]](if: $Inventory contains ("Coin shaped Rocks") )[ [[Stick Coin shaped Rocks in Panties|Use Panties on Coin shaped Rocks]] ](if: $Inventory contains ("Shoe"))[ [[Use Panties on Shoe|Use Panties on Shoe]] ](if: $Inventory contains ("Fountain Pen"))[ [[Write name on Panties with Fountain Pen|Use Panties on Fountain Pen]] ](if: $Inventory contains ("Hammer"))[ [[Stick Hammer in Panties|Use Panties on Hammer]] ](if: $Inventory contains ("Lipstick"))[ [[Use Panties and Lipstick|Use Panties on Lipstick]] ](if: $Inventory contains ("Chequebook"))[ [[Stick blank Cheque in Panties|Use Panties on Chequebook]] ](if: $Inventory contains ("Angry Letter"))[ [[Stick Panties in Angry Letter|Use Panties on Angry Letter]] ](if: $Inventory contains ("Coupon"))[ [[Stick Coupon in Panties|Use Panties on Coupon]] ](if: $Inventory contains ("Rope"))[ [[Use Rope with Panties|Use Rope on Panties]] ](if: $Inventory contains ("No Water"))[ [[Try to suck moisture from Panties|Use No Water on Panties]]]

This very expensive whiskey was apparently not the brand that Sam ordered. It has a gold label with a clover emblem.(set: $InvUsing to "Use Whiskey Table") ''Use Whiskey with what?'' (if: $inroom contains ("Gonkhead"))[ [[Offer Whiskey to Gonk|Use Whiskey on Gonkhead]] ] (if: $Inventory contains ("Panties"))[ [[Use Panties on Whiskey|Use Panties on Whiskey]] ](if: $Inventory contains ("Coin shaped Rocks"))[ [[Dunk Coin shaped Rocks in Whiskey.|Use Whiskey on Coin shaped Rocks]] ](if: $Inventory contains ("Shoe"))[ [[Drink Whiskey from Shoe|Use Whiskey on Shoe]] ](if: $Inventory contains ("Fountain Pen"))[ [[Fill Fountain Pen with Whiskey|Use Whiskey on Fountain Pen]] ](if: $Inventory contains ("Hammer"))[ [[Smash Whiskey bottle with Hammer|Use Whiskey on Hammer]] ](if: $Inventory contains ("Lipstick"))[ [[Make Lipstick marks on lip of Whiskey bottle.|Use Whiskey on Lipstick]] ](if: $Inventory contains ("Chequebook"))[ [[Get drunk and write Cheques your ass can't cash!|Use Whiskey on Chequebook]] ](if: $Inventory contains ("Angry Letter"))[ [[Soak Angry Letter in Whiskey|Use Whiskey on Angry Letter]] ](if: $Inventory contains ("Coupon"))[ [[Redeem coupon for Drunken sins|Use Whiskey on Coupon]] ](if: $Inventory contains ("Rope"))[ [[Think of something to do with Rope and Whiskey|Use Rope on Whiskey]] ](if: $Inventory contains ("No Water"))[ [[Drink Whiskey|Use No Water on Whiskey]]]

Someone carved some rocks to resemble coins. You guess that they were trying to scam the wishing fountain. Although you don't know how someone can trick a pool of water.(set: $InvUsing to "Use Coin shaped Rocks Table") ''Use Coin shaped Rocks on what?'' (if: $inroom contains ("Gonkhead"))[ [[Peg Gonk in the Head with Coin shaped Rocks|Use Coin shaped Rocks on Gonkhead]]] (if: $Inventory contains ("Panties"))[ [[Stick Coin shaped Rocks in Panties|Use Panties on Coin shaped Rocks]] ](if: $Inventory contains ("Whiskey"))[ [[Dunk Coin shaped Rocks in Whiskey.|Use Whiskey on Coin shaped Rocks]] ](if: $Inventory contains ("Shoe"))[ [[Put Rocks in Shoe|Use Coin shaped Rocks on Shoe]] ](if: $Inventory contains ("Fountain Pen"))[ [[Throw Coin shaped Rocks into Fountain Pen and make a wish!|Use Coin shaped Rocks on Fountain Pen]] ](if: $Inventory contains ("Hammer"))[ [[Smash rocks with Hammer|Use Coin shaped Rocks on Hammer]] ](if: $Inventory contains ("Lipstick"))[ [[Use Lipstick to make Coin shaped Rocks look more realistic|Use Coin shaped Rocks on Lipstick]] ](if: $Inventory contains ("Chequebook"))[ [[Ponder on the connection between Coin shaped Rocks and Chequebook|Use Coin shaped Rocks on Chequebook]] ](if: $Inventory contains ("Angry Letter"))[ [[Use Coin shaped Rocks with Angry Letter|Use Coin shaped Rocks on Angry Letter]] ](if: $Inventory contains ("Coupon"))[ [[Ponder on the connection between Coin shaped Rocks and Coupon|Use Coin shaped Rocks on Coupon]] ](if: $Inventory contains ("Rope"))[ [[Use Rope to make a sling for Coin shaped Rocks|Use Rope on Coin shaped Rocks]] ](if: $Inventory contains ("No Water"))[ [[Lick moisture from Coin shaped Rocks|Use No Water on Coin shaped Rocks]] ]

It's your left shoe. It fell off when you fell down the stairs. You aren't sure why you didn't just put it back on. (set: $InvUsing to "UseShoe Table")[[Put on shoe|Shoe 2]] ''Use Shoe on what?'' (if: $inroom contains "Deep God Face")[ [[Throw shoe at Deep God|Use shoe on DeepGodHead]] ](if: $inroom contains ("Gonkhead"))[ [[Show Shoe to Gonk|Use Shoe on Gonkhead]] ] (if: $Inventory contains ("Panties"))[ [[Use Panties on Shoe|Use Panties on Shoe]] ](if: $Inventory contains ("Whiskey"))[ [[Drink Whiskey from Shoe|Use Whiskey on Shoe]] ](if: $Inventory contains ("Coin shaped Rocks"))[ [[Put Rocks in Shoe|Use Coin shaped Rocks on Shoe]] ](if: $Inventory contains ("Fountain Pen"))[ [[Write name on Shoe with Fountain Pen|Use Shoe on Fountain Pen]] ](if: $Inventory contains ("Hammer"))[ [[Smash Shoe with Hammer|Use Shoe on Hammer]] ](if: $Inventory contains ("Lipstick"))[ [[Make Lipstick marks on Shoe|Use Shoe on Lipstick]]](if: $Inventory contains ("Angry Letter"))[ [[Make Shoe print on Angry Letter|Use Shoe on Angry Letter]] ](if: $Inventory contains ("Coupon"))[ [[Stick Coupon in Angry Letter|Use Shoe on Coupon]]](if: $Inventory contains ("Chequebook"))[ [[Forge Cheque to buy new shoes|Use Shoe on Chequebook]] ](if: $Inventory contains ("Rope"))[ [[Replace laces in Shoe with Rope|Use Rope on Shoe]] ](if: $Inventory contains ("No Water"))[ [[Drink from Shoe|Use No Water on Shoe]] ]

This fountain pen is now empty. You got it for free, but still feel ripped off. (set: $InvUsing to "Use Fountain Pen Table") ''Use Fountain Pen with what?'' (if: $inroom contains ("Gonkhead"))[ [[Give Autograph to Gonk|Use Fountain Pen on Gonkhead]] ] (if: $Inventory contains ("Panties"))[ [[Write name on Panties with Fountain Pen|Use Panties on Fountain Pen]]] (if: $Inventory contains ("Whiskey"))[ [[Fill Fountain Pen with Whiskey|Use Whiskey on Fountain Pen]] ](if: $Inventory contains ("Coin shaped Rocks"))[ [[Throw Coin shaped Rocks into Fountain Pen and make a wish!|Use Coin shaped Rocks on Fountain Pen]] ](if: $Inventory contains ("Shoe"))[ [[Write name on Shoe with Fountain Pen|Use Shoe on Fountain Pen]]](if: $Inventory contains ("Hammer"))[ [[Smash Fountain Pen with Hammer|Use Fountain Pen on Hammer]] ](if: $Inventory contains ("Lipstick"))[ [[Fill Fountain Pen with Lipstick|Use Fountain Pen on Lipstick]] ](if: $Inventory contains ("Chequebook"))[ [[Forge another Cheque with Fountain Pen|Use Fountain Pen on Chequebook]] ](if: $Inventory contains ("Angry Letter"))[ [[Edit Angry Letter|Use Fountain Pen on Angry Letter]] ](if: $Inventory contains ("Coupon"))[ [[Use Fountain Pen to draw masterpiece of Richard Dawkins on Coupon|Use Fountain Pen on Coupon]] ](if: $Inventory contains ("Rope"))[ [[Write name on Rope with Fountain Pen|Use Rope on Fountain Pen]] ](if: $Inventory contains ("No Water"))[ [[Drink from Fountain Pen|Use No Water on Fountain Pen]]]

If Markus had this hammer, he'd hammer in the morning, he'd hammer in the evening, he'd hammer your face in for stealing his hammer. (set: $InvUsing to "Use Hammer Table") ''Use Hammer with what?'' (if: $inroom contains ("Gonkhead"))[ [[Smash Gonk in the head|Use Hammer on Gonkhead]] ](if: $Inventory contains ("Panties"))[ [[Stick Hammer in Panties|Use Panties on Hammer]] ](if: $Inventory contains ("Whiskey"))[ [[Smash Whiskey bottle with Hammer|Use Whiskey on Hammer]] ](if: $Inventory contains ("Coin shaped Rocks"))[ [[Smash rocks with Hammer|Use Coin shaped Rocks on Hammer]] ](if: $Inventory contains ("Shoe"))[ [[Smash Shoe with Hammer|Use Shoe on Hammer]] ](if: $Inventory contains ("Fountain Pen"))[ [[Smash Fountain Pen with Hammer|Use Fountain Pen on Hammer]] ](if: $Inventory contains ("Lipstick"))[ [[Smash Lipstick with Hammer|Use Hammer on Lipstick]] ](if: $Inventory contains ("Chequebook"))[ [[Smash Chequebook with Hammer|Use Hammer on Chequebook]] ](if: $Inventory contains ("Angry Letter"))[ [[Smash Angry Letter with Hammer|Use Hammer on Angry Letter]] ](if: $Inventory contains ("Coupon"))[ [[Smash Coupon|Use Hammer on Coupon]] ](if: $Inventory contains ("Rope"))[ [[Hammer out knots on Rope.|Use Rope on Hammer]]](if: $Inventory contains ("No Water"))[ [[Lick Hammer|Use No Water on Hammer]] ]

This tube of lipstick has "engorged passion red" in neat print on the side.(set: $InvUsing to "Use Lipstick Table") [[Look Closer|EyesLipstick]] ''Use Lipstick on what?''(if: $inroom contains ("Gonkhead"))[ [[Give Gonk a makeover!|Use Lipstick on Gonkhead]] ](if: $Inventory contains ("Panties"))[ [[Use Panties and Lipstick|Use Panties on Lipstick]]](if: $Inventory contains ("Whiskey"))[ [[Make Lipstick marks on lip of Whiskey bottle.|Use Whiskey on Lipstick]] ](if: $Inventory contains ("Coin shaped Rocks"))[ [[Use Lipstick to make Coin shaped Rocks look more realistic|Use Coin shaped Rocks on Lipstick]] ](if: $Inventory contains ("Shoe"))[ [[Make Lipstick marks on Shoe|Use Shoe on Lipstick]] ](if: $Inventory contains ("Fountain Pen"))[ [[Fill Fountain Pen with Lipstick|Use Fountain Pen on Lipstick]] ](if: $Inventory contains ("Hammer"))[ [[Smash Lipstick with Hammer|Use No Water on Hammer]] ](if: $Inventory contains ("Chequebook"))[ [[Use Lipstick to forge Cheque|Use Lipstick on Chequebook]] ](if: $Inventory contains ("Angry Letter"))[ [[Make Lipstick marks on Angry Letter|Use Lipstick on Angry Letter]] ](if: $Inventory contains ("Coupon"))[ [[Give the Coupon a makeover!|Use Lipstick on Coupon]] ](if: $Inventory contains ("Rope"))[ [[Consider the relationship between Rope and Lipstick|Use Rope on Lipstick]] ](if: $Inventory contains ("No Water"))[ [[Try to suck moisture from Lipstick|Use No Water on Lipstick]] ]

Judging by the size of the blank amount section Sam doesn't write small checks.(set: $InvUsing to "Use Chequebook Table") ''Use Chequebook on what?''(if: $inroom contains ("Gonkhead"))[ [[Bribe Gonk|Use Chequebook on Gonkhead]] ] (if: $Inventory contains ("Panties"))[ [[Stick blank Cheque in Panties|Use Panties on Chequebook]] ](if: $Inventory contains ("Whiskey"))[ [[Get drunk and write Cheques your ass can't cash!|Use Whiskey on Chequebook]] ](if: $Inventory contains ("Coin shaped Rocks"))[ [[Ponder on the connection between Coin shaped Rocks and Chequebook|Use Coin shaped Rocks on Chequebook]] ](if: $Inventory contains ("Shoe"))[ [[Forge Cheque to buy new shoes|Use Shoe on Chequebook]] ](if: $Inventory contains ("Fountain Pen"))[ [[Fill Fountain Pen with Lipstick|Use Fountain Pen on Chequebook]] ](if: $Inventory contains ("Hammer"))[ [[Smash Chequebook with Hammer|Use Hammer on Chequebook]] ](if: $Inventory contains ("Lipstick"))[ [[Use Lipstick to forge Cheque|Use Lipstick on Chequebook]] ](if: $Inventory contains ("Angry Letter"))[ [[Send Cheque with Angry letter|Use Chequebook on Angry Letter]] ](if: $Inventory contains ("Coupon"))[ [[Use Chequebook with Coupon|Use Chequebook on Coupon]] ](if: $Inventory contains ("Rope"))[ [[Consider the relationship between Rope and Chequebook|Use Rope on Chequebook]] ] (if: $Inventory contains ("No Water"))[ [[Pay your bar tab with a forged cheque|Use No Water on Chequebook]] ]

Wow. Sam really doesn't like getting his packages late. Sam's elegant and simple signature is at the bottom. (set: $InvUsing to "Use Angry Letter Table") Use Angry Letter with what?(if: $inroom contains ("Gonkhead"))[ [[Give Angry Letter to Gonk|Use Angry Letter on Gonkhead]] ] (if: $Inventory contains ("Panties"))[ [[Stick Panties in Angry Letter|Use Panties on Angry Letter]] ](if: $Inventory contains ("Whiskey"))[ [[Sprinkle Whiskey on Angry Letter|Use Whiskey on Angry Letter]] ](if: $Inventory contains ("Coin shaped Rocks"))[ [[Use Coin shaped Rocks with Angry Letter|Use Coin shaped Rocks on Angry Letter]] ](if: $Inventory contains ("Shoe"))[ [[Make Shoe print on Angry Letter|Use Shoe on Angry Letter]] ](if: $Inventory contains ("Fountain Pen"))[ [[Rewrite Angry Letter with Fountain Pen|Use Fountain Pen on Angry Letter]] ](if: $Inventory contains ("Hammer"))[ [[Smash Angry Letter with Hammer|Use Hammer on Angry Letter]] ](if: $Inventory contains ("Lipstick"))[ [[Use Lipstick with Angry Letter|Use Lipstick on Angry Letter]] ](if: $Inventory contains ("Chequebook"))[ [[Send Cheque with Angry letter|Use Chequebook on Angry Letter]] ](if: $Inventory contains ("Coupon"))[ [[Stick Coupon in Angry Letter|Use Angry Letter on Coupon]] ](if: $Inventory contains ("Rope"))[ [[Consider the relationship between Rope and Angry Letter|Use Rope on Angry Letter]] ](if: $Inventory contains ("No Water"))[ [[Try to suck moisture from Angry Letter|Use No Water on Angry Letter]] ]

It says "Church of the Mighty Ronald. Absolutions: Buy one, get one free."(set: $InvUsing to "Use Coupon Table") [[Read small print|Coupon2]] ''Use Coupon on what?''(if: $inroom contains ("Gonkhead"))[ [[Give Coupon to Gonk|Use Coupon on Gonkhead]]] (if: $Inventory contains ("Panties"))[ [[Stick Coupon in Panties|Use Panties on Coupon]] ](if: $Inventory contains ("Whiskey"))[ [[Redeem coupon for Drunken sins|Use Whiskey on Coupon]] ](if: $Inventory contains ("Coin shaped Rocks"))[ [[Ponder on the connection between Coin shaped Rocks and Coupon|Use Coin shaped Rocks on Coupon]] ](if: $Inventory contains ("Shoe"))[ [[Stick Coupon in Angry Letter|Use Shoe on Coupon]] ](if: $Inventory contains ("Fountain Pen"))[ [[Use Fountain Pen to Draw master piece of Richard Dawkins on Coupon|Use Fountain Pen on Coupon]] ](if: $Inventory contains ("Hammer"))[ [[Smash Coupon|Use Hammer on Coupon]] ](if: $Inventory contains ("Lipstick"))[ [[Give the Coupon a makeover!|Use Lipstick on Coupon]] ](if: $Inventory contains ("Chequebook"))[ [[Use Chequebook with Coupon|Use Chequebook on Coupon]] ](if: $Inventory contains ("Angry Letter"))[ [[Stick Coupon in Angry Letter|Use Angry Letter on Coupon]] ](if: $Inventory contains ("Rope"))[ [[Consider the relationship between Rope and Coupon|Use Rope on Coupon]] ](if: $Inventory contains ("No Water"))[ [[Use Coupon to slake thirst|Use No Water on Coupon]] ]

Whoever tied this rope didn't //earn// their boyscout badges. It's surface area is covered with the previous failed knots. (set: $InvUsing to "Use Rope Table") ''Use Rope on what?''(if: $inroom contains "Hook")[ [[Use Rope on Hook|Use Rope on Hook]]](if: $inroom contains "Door")[ [[Use Rope on Door|Use Rope on Door]]] (if: $inroom contains "Gonklegs")[ [[Use Rope on Gonk|Use Rope on Gonklegs]] ] (if: $inroom contains "Gonkhead")[ [[Show Rope to Gonk|Use Rope on Gonkhead]] ] (if: $Inventory contains "Panties")[ [[Use Rope with Panties|Use Rope on Panties]] ] (if: $Inventory contains "Whiskey")[ [[Think of something to do with Rope and Whiskey|Use Rope on Whiskey]] ] (if: $Inventory contains "Coin shaped Rocks")[ [[Use Rope to make a sling for Coin shaped Rocks|Use Rope on Coin shaped Rocks]] ] (if: $Inventory contains "Shoe")[ [[Replace laces in Shoe with Rope|Use Rope on Shoe]] ] (if: $Inventory contains "Fountain Pen")[ [[Write name on Rope with Fountain Pen|Use Rope on Fountain Pen]] ] (if: $Inventory contains "Hammer")[ [[Hammer out knots on Rope.|Use Rope on Hammer]] ] (if: $Inventory contains "Lipstick")[ [[Consider the relationship between Rope and Lipstick|Use Rope on Lipstick]] ] (if: $Inventory contains "Chequebook")[ [[Consider the relationship between Rope and Chequebook|Use Rope on Chequebook]] ] (if: $Inventory contains "Angry Letter")[ [[Consider the relationship between Rope and Angry Letter|Use Rope on Angry Letter]] ] (if: $Inventory contains "Coupon")[ [[Consider the relationship between Rope and Coupon|Use Rope on Coupon]] ] (if: $Inventory contains "No Water")[ [[Try to suck moisture from Rope|Use No Water on Rope]] ]

You can't remember the last time you had a nonalcoholic drink. ''Use No Water on what?''(set: $InvUsing to "Use No Water Table")(if: $inroom contains "Hook")[ [[Use No Water on Hook]] ](if: $inroom contains "Door")[ [[Use No Water on Door]] ] (if: $inroom contains "Gonklegs")[ [[Use Lack of Water on Gonk|Use No Water on Gonklegs]]](if: $inroom contains "Gonkhead")[ [[Use Lack of Water on Gonk|Use No Water on Gonkhead]] ] (if: $Inventory contains "Panties")[ [[Try to suck moisture from Panties|Use No Water on Panties]] ](if: $Inventory contains "Whiskey")[ [[Drink Whiskey|Use No Water on Whiskey]] ] (if: $Inventory contains "Coin shaped Rocks")[ [[Lick moisture from Coin shaped Rocks|Use No Water on Coin shaped Rocks]] ] (if: $Inventory contains "Shoe")[ [[Drink from Shoe|Use No Water on Shoe]] ] (if: $Inventory contains "Fountain Pen")[ [[Drink from Fountain Pen|Use No Water on Fountain Pen]] ] (if: $Inventory contains "Hammer")[ [[Hit yourself with hammer until you don't feel thirsty anymore.|Use No Water on Hammer]] ] (if: $Inventory contains "Lipstick")[ [[Try to suck moisture from Lipstick|Use No Water on Lipstick]] ] (if: $Inventory contains "Chequebook")[ [[Try to suck moisture from Chequebook|Use No Water on Chequebook]] ] (if: $Inventory contains "Angry Letter")[ [[Try to suck moisture from Angry Letter|Use No Water on Angry Letter]] ] (if: $Inventory contains "Coupon")[ [[Use Coupon to slake thirst|Use No Water on Coupon]] ] (if: $Inventory contains "Rope")[ [[Try to suck moisture from Rope|Use No Water on Rope]] ]

<jonastext>"Hey Gonk! Got any bottled water?"</jonastext> <gonktext>"What? No!"</gonktext>(display: $InvUsing)

Even is they were freshly laundered; No.(display: $InvUsing)

Getting drunk right now would be a terrible idea.(display: $InvUsing)

These stones were soaking in water not fit for human consumtion.(display: $InvUsing)

Ew. Why would you even consider that?(display: $InvUsing)

Fountain <b><u>Pen</u></b>(display: $InvUsing)

The sudden desire to pummeling yourself into unconsciousness could be a sign of dehydration.(display: $InvUsing)

You heard a rumor that the average woman swallows six pounds of lipstick during her lifetime, but you assume that is done unintentionaly. Generally, it isn't a good idea to intentionally do what others only do by accident.(display: $InvUsing)

You really shouldn’t forge anymore cheques. Especially to buy a drink.(display: $InvUsing)

Even if Sam was spitting mad while writing this, you wouldn't want to drink Sam's spit.(display: $InvUsing)

Well, I guess you could fold it into a drinking cup and- No!-No! That's a stupid idea!(display: $InvUsing)

That's a great idea! Suck moisture from a mankey old rope! That was sarcasm.(display: $InvUsing)

(unless: $talkedabout contains "Gonkkey")[<jonastext>"Hey Gonk! You are terrible at tying ropes!"</jonastext> <gonktext>"You're terrible at insulting people"</gonktext> He's got you there. (display: "Thereturnkey")](else:)[<jonastext>"Hey Gonk." </jonastext> You call out. <jonastext>"Did you know that I have unfettered access to your groin and a piece of knotted up rope?"</jonastext> Gonk stops kicking. <gonktext>"what."</gonktext> <jonastext>"How about you pass me that key and I don't go all Mexican kid with a piñata on your breadbasket."</jonastext> <gonktext>"Uh...Go ahead"</gonktext> Gonk says, lazily swinging his legs. <gonktext>"I don't have any genitalia."</gonktext> [[What?!?|Gonkballs1]]]

You aren't into the kinky stuff.(display: $InvUsing)

You could wrap the bottle in the rope to conceal it while you drink in public. Except, Goldenport has no public drinking laws, and you aren't a big drinker.(display: $InvUsing)

That would make a terrible sling.(display: $InvUsing)

The Rope is too thick to use as laces.(display: $InvUsing)

If there were ink left, you could write your name on this rope. Then it really would be your rope. But alas you must remain only the technical owner of a rope.(display: $InvUsing)

Sometimes, your dad would untie hard knots by hitting them with a hammer. You briefly try, and hit your thumb.(display: $InvUsing)

Anylist of objects that include Lipstick and Rope, isn't a list you don't want to see.(display: $InvUsing)

Rope, Tight Rope, Balancing on a tight rope, Balancing a chequebook! Oh my GOD! it's all connected. Wait. No. That's stupid.(display: $InvUsing)

Sam might beat //you// with a piece of rope if you don't deliver this.(display: $InvUsing)

Most religions tie people down to get them to confess. The Church of the Mighty Ronald just offers Forgiveness for a Fee.(display: $InvUsing)

Booze and loose women are pollutants of the soul. Well you don't drink, and the woman is so loose she escaped her undergarments. Maybe we'll call it a draw.(display: $InvUsing)

This would be more fun if these rocks were shaped like dollar bills and the panties were in use. You try it anyway. (display: $InvUsing)

You don't have any kind of foot fetish.(display: $InvUsing)

If you write your name on them, then people will think they are your's.(display: $InvUsing)

Markus has been trying to months to get his hammer in Charlie's Panties, But not like //that//.(display: $InvUsing)

These are both Charlie's. But you don't think she'd like them mixed up together.(display: $InvUsing)

Using a blank cheque to tip a stripper would give the universe card blanc to make your life hell. ...Not that Charlie is a stripper!(display: $InvUsing)

That might send mixed messeges.(display: $InvUsing)

It would be incredibly cheap/self-righteous to stick a Coupon to a Church in a woman's underwear.(display: $InvUsing)

Really? Just to make a bad pun? [[What pun?|WhiskeyRocks]](display: $InvUsing)

You've heard of people drinking from footwear. Generally it's champagne from lady's slippers. Not 320 proof Whiskey from an old tennis shoe.(display: $InvUsing)

Even if you knew how to refill this pen, it would probably just misspell everything.(display: $InvUsing)

Getting smashed means something else.(display: $InvUsing)

That //would// be good way of preventing strangers from drinking from it. But it would also encourage random perverts to lick it. So, no.(display: $InvUsing)

You can do that without getting drunk.(display: $InvUsing)

Maybe if you sprinkle some whiskey on this letter, it would offer an explanation for why it's so hateful. But then again, you don't want to be arrested for mail tampering.(display: $InvUsing)

This coupon isn't redeemable for debauchery.(display: $InvUsing)

Do people //try// to put rocks in their shoe?(display: $InvUsing)

Fountain <u>Pen</u>. Also, wishes aren't real.(display: $InvUsing)

Oh boy! Manual labor that is associated with prison time! It must be your birthday!(display: $InvUsing)

You don't know of any coin that is "engorged passion red"(display: $InvUsing)

Fake coins and Conceptual money. Together for the first time!(display: $InvUsing)

You don't know if tying this letter to a rock and delivering it through a window could make it more hateful.(display: $InvUsing)

Forged coins and Coupons; both are fake money. One has actual value. After all, rocks work as ballast.(display: $InvUsing)

You really want to ruin expensive whiskey just so you can say, "Scotch on the Rocks"? It isn't even Scotch!(display: $InvUsing)

You slip the shoe back on. After taking one-step, you yelp out. Pulling from the sole of the shoe is a tack with a piece of paper stuck to it. This must have been the reason you fell down the stairs. You crumple up the tack into the paper and throw them both away. ---- {(set: $Inventory to it - (array: "Shoe"))(set: $InvUsing to "No More Shoes")}(display: "Inventory03") (display: "Thereturnkey")

That way people will know it's your's. Then again the cops might find it and use the scent to track you down.(display: $InvUsing)

I guess that would be preferable to smashing your toes. Then again...why?(display: $InvUsing)

Defacing this letter won't make it less hateful.(display: $InvUsing)

I haven't fixed this. Mostly because I cannot think of something funny to do with a shoe and a coupon Any ideas? (display: "Thereturnkey")

No one would believe that people kiss your feet.(display: $InvUsing)

You're in this mess because Sam bought you new shoes. You don't want to see how it would get worse if you steal from him for more.(display: $InvUsing)

Getting ripped off is no reason to resort to violence.(display: $InvUsing)

Even if you knew how to refill it, The lipstick is too thick to be useful.(display: $InvUsing)

You should limit the amount of felonies you commit per day. Also, the pen is empty.(display: $InvUsing)

You don't have the skills to make this letter less hate filled.(display: $InvUsing)

0. That is considered Blasphemy. 0. You don't know how to draw. 0. You don't know how to draw Richard Dawkins. Therefore, the joke would be lost on them. 0. No one would recognize who he is. 0. You suspect it would render the coupon irredeemable. (display: $InvUsing)

[[Use Shoe on Coupon]]

Passion is one thing, but this is ridiculous.(display: $InvUsing)

That's not the way to break the bank.(display: $InvUsing)

It's true: anger begets anger.(display: $InvUsing)

Wraith is one of the seven deadly sins and unfortunately, this coupon wouldn't be useful for that.(display: $InvUsing)

On the bottom is an emblem with a pair of lips. Either this is a comment on the intelligence of their customers or it has a meaning that Jonas doesn't know.(display: $InvUsing)

You doubt anyone would believe that Sam Ravenoir signs his cheques with cheap lipstick.(display: $InvUsing)

Ending this hatefilled letter with a kiss would send mixed messages.(display: $InvUsing)

The colors would clash. Also that would be considered blasphemy and unfortunately you suspect it would render the coupon irredeemable.(display: $InvUsing)

Sending a hatefilled letter with a cheques is a great way to send mixed messages or the worst birthday card ever.(display: $InvUsing)

I doubt that the Church of the Mighty Ronald would accept cheques from you.(display: $InvUsing)

That would just be adding insult to...further insult.(display: $InvUsing)

It says: //Buy one blasphemy absolution get one adultery for free. Only available at participating temples. Not applicable with adultery of up to 4 partners or more.// They must be having trouble moving the surplus blasphemy absolutions.(display: $InvUsing)

Yeah(if:$met contains "Carl")[It super does]

Fix This.<style> tw-passage { @import url(https://fonts.googleapis.com/css?family=Lato); width: 627px; min-width: 26em; height: 766px; min-height: 33%; font-family: 'Lato', sans-serif; font-size:small; letter-spacing: 0.1em; background-color:#000; color:#eee; margin: 1%; border: white ridge 0.8em; border-radius: 0.5em; padding: 5px 5px 5px 5px;} </style>

There isn't enough condensation to drink off of that hook.(display: $InvUsing)

You doubt that door would lead to a refrigerator.(display: $InvUsing)

(if: $GonkPace is 0)[You lasso the Rope on the Hook. Yay! You marvel at your handiwork. If you hadn't come around and found this rope, this rope wouldn't be wrapped around this random hook in a closet. Well, that's enough of that. You take the rope back (display: $InvUsing)] (else:)[You sling your Rope over the hook on the ceiling. You wait until you hear Gonk step on the loose floorboard. Then you jump with and grab the rope, letting all your weight on the hook. The combined weight of you and the massive Gonk, causes a mighty crack in the floorboard above your head. [[Uh oh|toDCloset]]]

You smack the door with the rope. It makes a "Whomp" noise.(display: $InvUsing)

For a brief moment your vision is filled falling debris. You are starting to think that collapsing the roof above you was a bad idea. [[No kidding|Destroyed closetintro]]

For a brief moment as the broken floorboards fall on your head, your vision is filled with swinging feet. As the dust clears, you regain your senses [[Ouch|Destroyed closet]]

---- {(if: $where contains "badcloset")[ [[Back|Closet2standing]] ] (if: $where contains "destroyedcloset")[ [[Back|Destroyed closet]] ] (if: $where contains "Attic")[ [[Back|CultistAttic]] ] (if: $where contains "OutOttic")[ [[Back|OutsidetheHouse]] ] (if: $where contains "Sapphire street")[ [[Back|Sapphire Street]] ] (if: $where contains "Slick Street")[ [[Back|Slick Street]] ] (if: $where contains "Glister street")[ [[Back|Intro to Glister Street]] ] (if: $where contains "Ringle Courtyard")[ [[Back|Library Courtyard01]] ] (if: $where contains "Clocktower")[ [[Back|Top of the Tower]]]}

{<head> <style> tw-passage {max-height: none; overflow: auto; } </style> </head> <body>}{ (set: $inroom to (a:)) (set: $inroom to(array:"Gonkhead", "Altar", "Window")) (set: $where to "Attic") }<div stlye="max-height: none;"><div class="LocationPicture"><img src="http://placehold.it/450x450" data-raw="" class="" style="max-width: 25vw; max-height: 30vh; height: auto; width: auto; padding-right:5px; padding-bottom:5px;"></div><h1>The Attic</h1> --- The attic is quite a bit fancier than any house in which Jonas has ever lived, or at least it was before Jonas broke a hole in the floor and stuffed an Angry Orc in it.(if: $met contains "Gonk")[ ](else:)[ <jonastext>“Hi Gonk”</jonastext> Gonk stares at you from his vantage point near the floor. <gonktext>He sighs ”Hi Jonas.”</gonktext> ](set: $met to it + (array: "Gonk"))Looking around the attic you see a bulletin board covered in papers and string like a conspiracy theorists’ wet dream. In one corner is a altar with black candles. Across the room is a small table under a window.(if: $Inventory contains "Panties")[](else:)[ On the table is a pile of garbage.] (display: "LocalButtons")</div></body>

The house is quite a bit fancier than any house in which Jonas has ever lived. It reeks of old money and expensive cigars. If Jonas didn’t know it was owned by a Dark Lord who tried to kill him over a library book, he would stick around and see if there is any good food in the kitchen. Mindful of the impending doom, he makes his way to the hidden door. [[To the Attic!|Cultist Attic1]]

(display: "CultistAttic")

Holding your hands across your head you leap through the closed window. Glass shatters as you barrel through the air. (set: $Winjump to true) You suddenly realize this was a terrible idea. Luckily, your sleeve catches on the little balcony outside the window. This swings you around and you hit your head on the balcony’s railing. Your sleeve unhooks from the balcony and you tumble towards the ground. Just as your body twists towards the sky, you notice that the little balcony has a small ladder leading to the street. You wish you had notice that before you jumped out the window. As you notice that, your pant leg catches the corner of a carriage parked in front of the home. You smack your head on the carriage door and fall to the ground. [[Ow.|OutsidetheHouse]]

You rush out the door. {(set: $Winjump to false) (display: "OutsidetheHouse")}

It looks like there was a sale at the creepy crap store. Affixed around the edge of the altar are skulls that you hope are either from large monkeys or from plastic molds. Smattered around, seemingly at random, are the melted stubs of black candles with skulls carved into them. All around, puddles of congealed reddish residue that you'd rather not know about have splattered every square inch of this roughly carved stone altar. --- (display: "CultistAttic")

[[Greet|Greet Gonk]](unless: (history:) contains "Hero2" + "Dark Lord?")[ [[Ask Gonk why he hit you]] ] [[Ask Gonk about Altar]] [[Ask Gonk About Bulletin Board]] --- (display: "CultistAttic")

You don’t want to know what sort of madness would drive someone to play cat’s cradle with a map of the city and a scrapbook of architecture pictures. Among the mass of strings, you find: A sketch of The Ravenoir Manor stapled to what looks like a floor plan, A picture of the Library with a list of dates, A series of drawings of squid-spiders(Squiders?), and… Moving one of the Squiders, you find a picture of yourself. Out of all the pictures on this board, your picture has the most strings leading to and coming from it. Someone gouged out the eyes ..Maybe you should get out of here. --- (display: "CultistAttic")

(if: $Inventory contains "Panties")[(display:"Look at table Empty")](else:)[It’s just a bunch of garbage... Wait, that’s your stuff! You acquire: A pair of pink panties, A bottle of whiskey, A handful of coin shaped rocks, Your right shoe, An empty fountain pen, A hammer, A tube of lipstick, Sam Ravenoir’s chequebook, A coupon for Sin absolutions An angry letter from Sam,{(set: $Inventory to it + (array: "Panties", "Whiskey", "Coin shaped Rocks", "Shoe", "Fountain Pen", "Hammer", "Lipstick", "Chequebook", "Coupon", "Angry Letter"))} [[Wait a minute…|Ask about receipt]]]

{(if: $talkedabout contains "Hero")[(if: $talkedabout contains "Dark Lord")[(set: $talkedabout to it + (array: "Hero+Darklord"))]]}(unless: $talkedabout contains "Getem")[ [[Get'em?|AskGetem]] ](else:)[](unless: $talkedabout contains "Hero")[ [[Hero?]] ](else:)[](unless: $talkedabout contains "Dark Lord")[ [[Dark Lord?]] ](else:)[] [[Back|TalkGonkhead]]

Oh you're feeling brave? That wasn't sarcasm. [[Thanks.|Outhideout]]

Oh you're feeling brave? That was sarcasm. [[Thanks.|ToLib2]]

The North GoldenPort Royal Library. Its cold stone walls are no more comfort than they were hours ago. And neither is the librarian. After several minutes of begging, you not only don't have a fresh copy of your receipt, but you are also banned for life. You hope someone else will pay your fines for you. Nothing left to do but... [[Sigh|Outhideout]]

Dusk begins to set in as you make your way to Sapphire Street. Sapphire Street is the shortest street that goes directly from the docks to the city gates. So it’s always in use by those looking to slip out of town or out to sea without being noticed. After walking around for what seems like hours, you find the Softer Beard, nestled in between a rat trap store and a low rent butcher shop. Noticing a small alley leading around behind the bar, you squeeze through and come to a forgotten back alley. Well, not completely forgotten. On a nondescript warehouse is a single door. On the door is, if you had a better vocabulary you would know as a Judas Window but because you don't, you think of as a 'Old timey peephole.' Taking a chance, you knock on the door. Through the Judas Window, you see a shadow peer through. <npctext>"What's the password?"</npctext> (display: "PasswordOptions")

{(if: $bystander2 is "Half")[ [[Look at...man?|Use Eyes on Bystander2]] ] (if: $bystander2 is "Pants")[ [[Look at well dressed ork|Use Eyes on Bystander2]] ] (if: $bystander2 is "Woman")[ [[Look at orcish woman|Use Eyes on Bystander2]] ] } {(if: $bystander2 is "Half")[ [[Talk to...man?|Use Mouth on Bystander2]] ] (if: $bystander2 is "Pants")[ [[Talk to well dressed ork|Use Mouth on Bystander2]] ] (if: $bystander2 is "Woman")[ [[Talk to orcish woman|Use Mouth on Bystander2]] ] } {(if: $bystander2 is "Half")[ [[Take bucket from...man?|Use Hands on Bystander2]] ] (if: $bystander2 is "Pants")[ [[Feel the fabric of the dressed ork's suit|Use Hands on Bystander2]] ] (if: $bystander2 is "Woman")[ [[Touch orcish woman|Use Hands on Bystander2]] ] } (display: "Thereturnkey")

Fix This.

<jonastext>“Um, forgive me if this offends you but uh...are you half ork?”</jonastext> <npctext>"No. I'm just holding this persecuted position in society for my health,”</npctext> He responds. <jonastext>“Sorry. It’s just that someone told me their were no Half-Orks. Only ugly humans that-”</jonastext> <npctext>“Now you’re calling me ugly! You sure have a way with words. I’m so glad that you hold a higher position on the urban class structure for the simple fact that your daddy never got all hot and bothered by a buxom orcish lass! I’m //so// glad you get to spend your time(if: $Winjump is true)[ JUMPING OUT OF WINDOWS ]and running ALL around in the rich side of town. While I’m stuck lugging around buckets of tSerkt!”</npctext> <jonastext>“I-I’m sorry.”</jonastext> <npctext>“Well...you should be,”</npctext> He calms down <npctext>"Sorry, I'm a passionate man. I get it from my father."</npctext> <jonastext>"Well orks //are// a passionate people."</jonastext> He stares at you. <npctext>"My mother was orcish. My father was human."</npctext> <jonastext>"Uh..."</jonastext> You stammer. <jonastext>"Sorry, uh...again."</jonastext> --- (display: "TalkBystander2")

<jonastext>"What are you doing here?"</jonastext> (if: $bystander2 is "Half")[<npctext>"I’m a dunnakin diver,"</npctext> He says gesturing to the stains on his clothes. <npctext>"I just finished mucking out the honey bucket of some posh knob, too cheap to get on the mains." </npctext> You consider asking what those words mean, but the smell wafting off of him convinces you not too. ](if: $bystander2 is "Pants")[<npctext>“I just finished mending a suit for Mr Vestamir over here,” He gestures to the building behind him. “But he wanted me to send a //human// delivery boy. When //I// came to the door, his butler sent me away. So I’m going to stand out here until he realizes that I’m not going to give him the suit through some pink-skinned middleman...No offense.”</npctext> <jonastext>“None taken. Do you really think you can wait him out?”</jonastext> <npctext>“Definitely.” He smiles. “He’ll eventually realize he left his mistress’ letters in the pocket. Then he’ll be begging for me to give back his suit before his wife returns and asks why I’m standing on her doorstep.”</npctext>] --- (display: "TalkBystander2")

<jonastext>"I heard a rumor that Ork's only wore pants to cover their lack of genitals."</jonastext> <npctext>"Whoever told you that is a moron. If that were true I would save a fortune on undergarments."</npctext> --- (display: "TalkBystander2")

(if: $talkedabout contains "Aren`t Farthings small")[](else:)[ [[Aren`t Farthings small?]] ] (if: $talkedabout contains "Farthings Fun?")[](else:)[ [[Fun?]] ] (if: $talkedabout contains "Aren`t Farthings small" and $talkedabout contains "Farthings Fun?")[(display: "Thereturnkey")] (else:)[]

<jonastext>"I heard a rumor that there were no ork women," You say sheepishly.</jonastext> <npctext>"That's a strange pick up line," she replies.</npctext> <jonastext>"No!" You stammer. "I just meant: they said that orks didn't have sexes and I was curious if that was in anyway true."</jonastext> <npctext>"No you see,"</npctext> She continues smiling. <npctext>"You should say, 'I heard that Ork women don't have sex. How about you and I go somewhere comfortable, and you repeatedly proove me wrong.' That would a better pick up line. Although it's a bit of a mouthful."</npctext> She raises her eyebrows <npctext>"Then again, I am partial to a good mouthful."</npctext> You stammer and take a step backwards. --- (display: "TalkBystander2")

<jonastext>"What are you doing here?"</jonastext> <npctext>“I had a date with a Farthing boy just down the way." She points down the street. "But when his parents saw me, it was all ‘Cut you out of the will’ and ‘Be gone foul beast!’ So I’m suddenly free tonight.” Her voice suddenly turns sultry. “You doing anything...//fun//?”</npctext> (display: "OrkLadyFun")

[[Choose your fate|DarkLordHero]]

(if: $bystander2 is "Woman")[<jonastext>"Have you seen any guys wearing dark hoods?"</jonastext> <npctext>"Yeah, people tend to wear them when the weather gets chilly." She says matter-of-factly.</npctext> <jonastext>“I mean //recently//.”</jonastext> <npctext>"Well a couple of guys in dark hoods were going into that house you just came (if: $Winjump is true)[//flying//](else:)[bolting] out of, but then another guy in a black hood came running up to them, said something, and they all left together. Is that what you mean?”</npctext> <jonastext>"Did they you overhear what they said?"</jonastext> <npctext>"What do you think I’m some sort of snoop?!"</npctext> <jonastext>"I was //hoping// you //were//."</jonastext> you say, sheepishly. <npctext>"Then you are in luck!" She says with a bright smile. "They said 'The master has it! We’re meeting up behind the Softer Beard'."</npctext> <jonastext>"Where’s that?"</jonastext> <npctext>"It’s a Dwarven Bar on Sapphire Street."</npctext> <jonastext>"Did you see if one of them was carrying a receipt?"</jonastext> <npctext>"Yes, because I have the miraculous ability to see into people's pockets and identify receipts from several yards away."</npctext> She says. <npctext>"That was something we orcish individuals call //Sarcasm.//" </npctext>](else:)[<jonastext>"Have you seen any guys wearing dark hoods?"</jonastext> <npctext>"Yeah, people tend to wear them when the weather gets chilly."</npctext> He says, matter-of-factly. <jonastext>“I mean //recently//.”</jonastext> <npctext>"Well a couple of guys in dark hoods were going into that house you just came (if: $Winjump is true)[//flying//](else:)[bolting] out of, but then another guy in a black hood came running up to them, said something, and they all left together. Is that what you mean?”</npctext> <jonastext>"Did they you overhear what they said?"</jonastext> <npctext>"What do you think I’m some sort of snoop?!"</npctext> <jonastext>"I was //hoping// you //were//."</jonastext> you say, sheepishly. <npctext>"Then you are in luck!"</npctext> He says with a smirk. <npctext>"They said 'The master has it! We’re meeting up behind the Softer Beard'."</npctext> <jonastext>"Where’s that?"</jonastext> <npctext>"It’s a Dwarven Bar on Sapphire Street."</npctext> <jonastext>"Did you see if one of them was carrying a receipt?"</jonastext> <npctext>"Yes, because I have the miraculous ability to see into people's pockets and identify receipts from several yards away."</npctext> He says. <npctext>"That was something we orcish individuals call //Sarcasm.//"</npctext> ](set: $talkedabout to it + (array: "Hideout")) (display: "Thereturnkey")

<jonastext>"Aren`t Farthings small?" The mental image of an Orcish woman on a date with a Farthing man is hard to wrap your head around. "I mean...uh the size difference."</jonastext> <npctext>"Yes, but they have very nimble fingers," She smiles. "But I could be persuaded to take a more full sized friend if you have any //fun// ideas."</npctext>(set: $talkedabout to it + (array: "Aren`t Farthings small")) (display: "OrkLadyFun")

<jonastext>"Uh...Fun?"</jonastext> (if: $Winjump is true)[ <npctext>"Yeah, you prefer to exit a building through the window. You must be absolutely //wild//. Just a pent up ball of passion ready to burst. Trust me, I can match you step for step." </npctext> ] You’ve heard rumors about ork mating practices and you bruise easily. Besides, if you don’t find the receipt soon, then Sam Ravenoir will do much more than bruise you. <jonastext>“Sorry. I’m uh...busy.”</jonastext> <npctext>“Maybe next time,” She gives you a wink.</npctext>(set: $talkedabout to it + (array: "Farthings Fun?")) (display: "OrkLadyFun")

---- [[Swordfish]] [[It’s a cold day out for pontooning|Codeword]] [[Please?|Magic Word]] [[The password is Password|Password]] [[It’s a secret handshake|Handshake]]

<jonastext>"Swordfish"</jonastext> <npctext>"Swordfish?" says the voice behind the door.</npctext> <jonastext>"Swordfish."</jonastext> <npctext>"Not...Marlin?"</npctext> <jonastext>"Uh..." You hesitate. "It //could// be Marlin."</jonastext> <npctext>"Well is it Marlin or Swordfish?"</npctext> <jonastext>"Marlin."</jonastext> <npctext>"Nope."</npctext> <jonastext>"Swordfish?"</jonastext> <npctext>"Nope" He slides the shutter closed.</npctext> [[Knock on door again|Knock on door]]

Using your best cold war espionage voice, you lean in close to the door. <jonastext>"It's a cold day out for pontooning."</jonastext> <npctext>"No it's not. Pontooning is a sport for the hardy fellow. The cold shouldn't bother you if you are a real pontoonsmen."</npctext> <jonastext>"Uh..."</jonastext> You're not even really sure what pontooning is. <npctext>"Sorry, My dad used to own a pontoon shop. So I'm kinda uptight about that."</npctext> <jonastext>"That was supposed to be the password."</jonastext> <npctext>"Oh...no it's not."</npctext> He slides the shutter closed. [[Knock on door again|Knock on door]]

<jonastext>"Please?"</jonastext> <npctext>"Thomas? Is that you?"</npctext> He obviously can't see through the hole very well. <npctext>"I told you last week you need to remember the Password. The Master said that if I let you in without it one more time, he'll roast my figgin on a spike."</npctext> <jonastext>"Uh...Please?"</jonastext> <npctext>"Come back when you remember the password, Thomas."</npctext> He slides the shutter closed. [[Knock on door again|Knock on door]]

<jonastext>"The Password is...Password."</jonastext> <npctext>"You moron! That was last week's password!"</npctext> He slides the shutter closed. [[Knock on door again|Knock on door]]

<jonastext>"That's a trick question. The Password is a secret handshake."</jonastext> <npctext>"Hmm,"</npctext> He deliberates a moment. <npctext>"I hadn't heard we were switching to the handshake."</npctext> <jonastext>"Just talked to Gonk."</jonastext> You say. <jonastext>"He says it's the handshake for now, until we get everything in order."</jonastext> <npctext>"Well... Gonk's always had a good head for minioning. Hold on."</npctext> He closes the Judas Window. After noisily unlatching many locks, he opens the door. Standing in a dark robe, he looks you up and down. <npctext>"Where's your robe?"</npctext> <jonastext>"Uh..I got mustard on it."</jonastext> <npctext>"The Master will not like seeing you outside of your robe."</npctext> <jonastext>"//I'll// worry about that."</jonastext> You start to make your way to the door. <npctext>"Wait, the handshake,"</npctext> He barks. <jonastext>"Oh right."</jonastext> [[Raise your hand|Handshake2]]

You raise your hand. He raises his expectantly. [[Stick Hand in pocket|Handshake3]]

You stick your hand in your pocket. He does the same. [[Bow|Handshake4]]

You lean forward. He leans forward. [[Use Hammer with Doorman|Handshake5]]

You grab the Hammer and give the Door Watching cultist a ''Whack'' on the head. He crumples to the ground. <jonastext>"Sorry," you say sheepishly.</jonastext> Stepping over his hopefully //unconscious// body, you enter the door. Just through the door, is a musty corridor. Dark and unkempt, it leads to a basement door. Mustering all of your courage, you open the door and continue. [[Here goes nothing|CultBasementCorridor]]

This corridor only gets mustier as it descends. You can hear in the distance a low eerie chanting. Turning down the last little twist you enter a large sub-basement lit by Black Candles. Weight-bearing posts hold up rotted beams and a forgotten cob-webbed filled elevator shaft is tucked into the corner. Someone welded several swords in the shape of a spider, and hung them on the wall. Seven people in black robes stand in a circle chanting. In the center, eldritch sigils of multi-legged creatures disemboweling each other, have been carved. [[...Gross|StartledCult1]]

{<head> <style> tw-passage {max-height: 99vh;} </style> </head> <body>}{}<div stlye="max-height: 40vh;"><div class="LocationPicture"><img src="http://placehold.it/450x450" data-raw="" class="" style="max-width: 25vw; max-height: 30vh; height: auto; width: auto; padding-right:5px; padding-bottom:5px;"></div><h1>Back Alley</h1>On a nondescript warehouse with a single door. On the door is, if you had a better vocabulary you would know as a Judas Window. But because you don't, you think of as a 'Old timey peephole.' Taking a chance you knock on the door. Through the Judas Window you see a shadow peer through. <npctext>"What's the password?"</npctext> (display: "PasswordOptions")</div></div>

(if: $CulistsKilled is 1)[(display: "RitualEnd")](else:)[The Dark Lord is coming towards you, wielding a silver dagger and a large hand axe. Around you, weight bearing posts hold up rotted(if: $talkedabout contains "CultAxe")[ beams, more the worse for wear by you climbing on them. Just under one, is the cultist with the freshly split skull.] (else:)[ beams. ] (if: $talkedabout contains "CultFall")[ A forgotten elevator shaft, freshly cleaned of cobwebs by the body of a cultist,] (else:)[ A forgotten cobweb-filled elevator shaft] is tucked into the corner. Someone weilded several swords in the shape of a spider (if: $talkedabout contains "CultSkewer")[and stupidly hung them on the wall. A second someone got skewered by the previous someone's stupidity.](else:)[and hung them on the wall.] (if: $talkedabout contains "CultFire")[ The still burning body of a cultist smolders to the side. You hope, for his sake, that he's dead.] (if: $talkedabout contains "CultStab")[ Blood from the slashed cultist is flowing into the sigils. ] The (print: $CulistsKilled) other cultists continue their chanting. ---- (unless: $talkedabout contains "CultStab")[[[Dodge Right|CultStab]] ](unless: $talkedabout contains "CultFall")[[[Roll Left|CultFall]] ](unless: $talkedabout contains "CultFire")[[[Duck|CultFire]] ](unless: $talkedabout contains "CultSkewer")[[[Jump|CultSkewer]] ](unless: $talkedabout contains "CultAxe")[[[Climb Beam|CultAxe]] ]]

(if: $talkDL is 0)[<jonastext>"Look Man, I don't want trouble, I just really need that receipt."</jonastext> <darklordtext>"I am no man! I am a harbinger of DOOM!"</darklordtext> <jonastext>"OK, Look //harbinger of doom//-"</jonastext> He screams in rage](if: $talkDL is 1)[<jonastext>"Look," You say "I don't like being threatened so could you please...not?"</jonastext> <darklordtext>"It is no threat" He barks "I will spill your blood in the name of Tractchiclitlilthcbkltph."</darklordtext> <jonastext>"Woah," you reply. "Was your god in the back of the line when the vowels were handed out?"</jonastext> He screams in rage](if: $talkDL is 2)[<jonastext>"Lets be reasonable," you say smiling at him. "I'm not asking for much."</jonastext> <darklordtext>"You are vermin not worthy of speaking to a higher being like me!"</darklordtext> <jonastext>"That's rude."</jonastext> He screams in rage](if: $talkDL is 3)[<jonastext>"You seem really stressed out. Maybe you should take a deep breath and think about this."</jonastext> <darklordtext>"Blood will spill! Bones will rend! HEARTS WILL RIP!"</darklordtext> <jonastext>"Maybe try yoga?"</jonastext> He screams in rage](if: $talkDL is 4)[<jonastext>"I'm starting to get the feeling that you don't like me."</jonastext> <darklordtext>"You are a worm I will crush beneath my feet," He spits. "Your soul will feed Tractchiclitlilthcbkltph's rise!"</darklordtext> <jonastext>"Do you usually have to chase your sacrifices around the room?" You wonder. "If you did, I'd think you'd be better at this."</jonastext> He screams in rage] (set: $talkDL to it + 1)

Having observed the fates of his brothers-in-robes, the last chanting cultist suddenly reconsiders the cultist lifestyle. He stops chanting, turns, and runs for the door. Unfortunately for him, this basement wasn’t made for desperate fights between Dark Lords and accident prone losers. The weight bearing beams are too old to be used in such a manner. One of the last beams breaks and crushes the fleeing cultist. Even though the chanters are dead, the chanting continues. More voices join the thrumming until it jumps the tracks from an eerie wail to a tremendous cacophony. The Dark Lord stops his attack. <darklordtext>“The Ritual is whole!”</darklordtext> The sigils on the floor begin to glow with an unnatural blackness. As you wonder how something can glow black, a massive tentacle bursts from the ground and the room collapses around you. [[That can’t be good|preprerubble]]

Fix This.

You could free Gonk from this predicament. Although you doubt his attitude adjustment would hold of if he suddenly //could// push your face into a meat grinder. --- (display: "CultistAttic")

[[Ok then. Here goes nothing.|Intro to Slick Street]]

You are adrift in a pool of blackness [[What?|Pre Rubble2]]

You are unconscious. But don’t worry, you’re starting to regain consciousness. [[Ok Then. Get on with it!|Pre Rubble3]]

Dust stings your eyes, as you open them. Flitting shadows dance across your vision and eventually settle into their comprehensible shapes. The roof of the basement and what appears to be all the floors above, have caved in. You can see the sky above the blown out carcase of the building. You try to move, but find that you are pinned underneath one of the support beams. [[Struggle|StruggleRubble]] [[Look around|LookRubble]] [[Try to Remember|RemRubble]]

You wiggle and shake at the rubble. [[Struggle More|StruggleRubble2]] [[Look around|LookRubble]] [[Try to Remember|RemRubble]]

The cult leader is gone, leaving behind the remains of his brethren. Whatever weird symbol on the floor is gone, along with whatever smashed its way out, right before the roof collapsed. Pilled on top of you is one of the support beams you climbed on. It fell down on you, but was caught mid-you-crushing by another beam. So instead of smashing you into a vaguely Jonas shaped smudged, it only walloped you on the head and pinned you to the floor. Looking up you, can see the evening sky. It’s just moving into twilight but… Maybe the city lights are extra bright tonight, or the sky is starting to turn a brusey sort of red. ...Maybe you should get out of here. [[Struggle|StruggleRubble]] [[Try to Remember|RemRubble]]

There was a thing. It burst out of the symbol on the floor. Then burst through the ceiling. Then everything went black. [[Struggle|StruggleRubble]] [[Look around|LookRubble]]

You wiggle and shake and manage to free yourself. [[Progress!|Rubblestand]]

{<head> <style> tw-passage {max-height: 99vh;} </style> </head> <body>}<div stlye="max-height: 40vh;"><div class="LocationPicture"><img src="http://placehold.it/450x450" data-raw="" class="" style="max-width: 25vw; max-height: 30vh; height: auto; width: auto; padding-right:5px; padding-bottom:5px;"></div><h1>Rubble</h1>The basement is utterly destroyed. The roof is caved in, the stairs are traitorously splintered, and the walls are...technically not walls but debris. Above, the sky is a dark red with tinges of purple, like an infected bruise. [[Freak out|PanicRubble]](if: $Inventory contains "Book")[ ] (else:)[ [[Search for first aid kits|SearchRubble]] ] [[Climb the remnants of the stairs|LeaveRubble]]</div></div>

You hope to find a box with some bandages and gauze and whatever other things you would use to cure...whatever sort of injuries you got from being partially crushed by a wooden beam...hydrogen peroxide? You also hope that you can find an instruction manual on self administering first aid. Because you’re fairly certain that you wouldn’t know what to do even if you got some medical supplies. You don’t find either. But you do find ''THE BOOK'' You acquire ''The Book''.(set: $Inventory to it + (array: "Book")) [[Well, that's better than nothing|Rubblestand]]

You brave the broken staircase. Each step thoroughly reminds you how much you like standing on solid ground. Eventually you make it to the top and step out onto the street. [[Let's hope for the best|Alleyway1]]

You scream in terror and curl up into a ball. You shake back-and-forth and hyperventilate. You wail and pound the ground with your fist. This isn’t a productive use of your time. You stop freaking out. Instead, you get to your feet and brush the dirt from your coat. [[You hope no one saw that|Rubblestand]]

Your experiences in the city haven’t given you the best picture of humanity, but geez.... From every directions you hear screams: Screams of pain, Screams of fear, and Screams of struggle. Looking into the distant main street, you see what looks like a riot. Huge crowds of people fighting each other. As you inch closer, you can see more clearly. There are people fighting. But they aren’t fighting each other. but rather… You remember a book you had as a child. It had three different sections with pages all lined up. Each section had a part of an animal on it. By flipping the different pages you could make a turtle with the legs of a cat, or a monkey with the tail of a peacock. These creatures remind you of that book. But exclusively comprised of the kinds of fangly deep sea fish dredged out of a child’s nightmare and those incects you naturally assume are from Austrailia. Each one a haphazard collection of tentacles, spines, arm length teeth, splotchy tubers, and pitch black eyes. They are jumping and slashing at the people in the streets. The ones with mouths bite, and the ones with claws gouge. You’re not sure what the ones comprised solely of segmented eyes are doing, but they are giving everything they can a //Look//. [[Better get out of here|Alleyway3]]

<jonastext>"Hello,"</jonastext> you say, making an attempt at a polite smile. The creature lurches forward and raises an indescribable limb. [[Uh oh|Alleyway2]]

You pull your arm back and aim for a part that isn’t sharp. <jonastext>“How would you like a knuckle sandwich?”</jonastext> You scream, wishing that you had something pithier for last words. You swing your fist around and successfully get a gross substance on you hand and possible break your fingers. But completely fail to hurt the beast in the slightest. The creature lurches forward and raises an indescribable limb. [[Uh oh|Alleyway2]]

<jonastext>“Well hello there...uh…”</jonastext> You search the figure for some sort of clue. <jonastext>“Mister?”</jonastext> You take a stab in the dark. <jonastext>“You seem like a totally reasonable...thing. So how about you and let me pass?”</jonastext> You guess where its face is and give it a friendly smile. The creature lurches forward and raises an indescribable limb. [[Uh oh|Alleyway2]]

Out of the shadows a muscly arm coldcocks the beasty. It’s Captain Maxwell! He’s come to your rescue. You knew he was lying about hating you. After each punch, he waits to see if the creature will stay down. Each time the creature tried to claw back, and each time Captain Max’s fist came down again. You back out of the range of combat and wait for the creature to call uncle. Eventually, the creature stops trying to kill Maxwell...because it’s dead. The good captain then turns to face you <maxtext>“Jonas Mallory, Why is it that I knew you’d be at the center of all this?”</maxtext> <jonastext>“I didn’t do anything,”</jonastext> <maxtext>“Really? I make my way through the city, following the path of destruction back to its source...and you just happen to be standing right at the end.”</maxtext> * [[That’s correlation not causation|Correlation]] * [[That’s racial profiling!|Profiling]]

Setter link (link: "Link Text")[(set: $variable to "value")(goto: "Passage Title")] (set: $talkedabout to it + (array: "Hero")) (link: "Hero?")[(set: $talkedabout to it + (array: "Hero"))(goto: "Hero?")]

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[[stop poking him]]

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<div style="max-height:16vh; max-width:100%; #ccc;overflow:auto;">(link: "Search your pants, jacket, and socks")[(if: $Inventory contains "Molotov Cocktail kit")[[[Molotov Cocktail Pamphlet|Use Molotov Cocktail]] ](if: $Inventory contains "Dagger")[[[Dagger|Use Dagger]] ](if: $Inventory contains "Panties")[[[Panties|Use Panties Table]] ](else:)[] (if: $Inventory contains "Whiskey")[ [[Whiskey|Use Whiskey Table]] ](else:)[] (if: $Inventory contains "Coin shaped Rocks")[ [[Coin shaped Rocks|Use Coin shaped Rocks Table]] ](else:)[] (if: $Inventory contains "Shoe")[ [[Shoe|UseShoe Table]] ](else:)[] (if: $Inventory contains "Fountain Pen")[ [[Fountain Pen|Use Fountain Pen Table]] ](else:)[] (if: $Inventory contains "Hammer")[ [[Hammer|Use Hammer Table]] ](else:)[] (if: $Inventory contains "Lipstick")[ [[Lipstick|Use Lipstick Table]] ](else:)[] (if: $Inventory contains "Chequebook")[ [[Chequebook|Use Chequebook Table]] ](else:)[] (if: $Inventory contains "Angry Letter")[ [[Angry Letter|Use Angry Letter Table]] ](else:)[] (if: $Inventory contains "Coupon")[ [[Coupon|Use Coupon Table]] ](else:)[] (if: $Inventory contains "Rope")[ [[Rope|Use Rope Table]] ](else:)[] (if: $Inventory contains "No Water")[ [[No Water|Use No Water Table]] ](else:)[]]</div>

Searching your pants, jacket, and socks you find:(if: $Inventory contains "Panties")[ [[Panties|Use Panties]] ](else:)[] (if: $Inventory contains "Whiskey")[ [[Whiskey|Use Whiskey]] ](else:)[] (if: $Inventory contains "Coin shaped Rocks")[ [[Coin shaped Rocks|Use Coin shaped Rocks]] ](else:)[] (if: $Inventory contains "Shoe")[ [[Shoe|UseShoe]] ](else:)[] (if: $Inventory contains "Fountain Pen")[ [[Fountain Pen|Use Fountain Pen]] ](else:)[] (if: $Inventory contains "Hammer")[ [[Hammer|Use Hammer]] ](else:)[] (if: $Inventory contains "Lipstick")[ [[Lipstick|Use Lipstick]] ](else:)[] (if: $Inventory contains "Chequebook")[ [[Chequebook|Use Chequebook]] ](else:)[] (if: $Inventory contains "Angry Letter")[ [[Angry Letter|Use Angry Letter]] ](else:)[] (if: $Inventory contains "Coupon")[ [[Coupon|Use Coupon]] ](else:)[] (if: $Inventory contains "Rope")[ [[Rope|Use Rope]] ](else:)[] (if: $Inventory contains "No Water")[ [[No Water|Use No Water]] ](else:)[]

{<head> <style> th, td {border: white ridge 0.8em; border-radius: 0.25em;} </style> </head><table style="width:100%;"><td style="width:50%;">(display: "Use no waterTEST")</td><td style="width:50%;">(display: "Inventory01")</td> </table>

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Searching your pants, jacket, and socks you find:(if: $Inventory contains "Molotov Cocktail kit")[[[Molotov Cocktail Pamphlet|Use Molotov Cocktail kit Table]] ](if: $Inventory contains "Dagger")[[[Dagger|Use Dagger Table]] ](if: $Inventory contains "Panties")[ [[Panties|Use Panties Table]] ](else:)[] (if: $Inventory contains "Whiskey")[ [[Whiskey|Use Whiskey Table]] ](else:)[] (if: $Inventory contains "Coin shaped Rocks")[ [[Coin shaped Rocks|Use Coin shaped Rocks Table]] ](else:)[] (if: $Inventory contains "Shoe")[ [[Shoe|UseShoe Table]] ](else:)[] (if: $Inventory contains "Fountain Pen")[ [[Fountain Pen|Use Fountain Pen Table]] ](else:)[] (if: $Inventory contains "Hammer")[ [[Hammer|Use Hammer Table]] ](else:)[] (if: $Inventory contains "Lipstick")[ [[Lipstick|Use Lipstick Table]] ](else:)[] (if: $Inventory contains "Chequebook")[ [[Chequebook|Use Chequebook Table]] ](else:)[] (if: $Inventory contains "Angry Letter")[ [[Angry Letter|Use Angry Letter Table]] ](else:)[] (if: $Inventory contains "Coupon")[ [[Coupon|Use Coupon Table]] ](else:)[] (if: $Inventory contains "Rope")[ [[Rope|Use Rope Table]] ](else:)[] (if: $Inventory contains "No Water")[ [[No Water|Use No Water Table]] ](else:)[]

{<head> <style> th, td {border: white ridge 0.8em; border-radius: 0.25em;} </style> </head><table style="width:100%;"><td style="width:50%;">(display: "Use Panties")</td><td style="width:50%;">(display: "Inventory01")</td> </table>}

{<head> <style> th, td {border: white ridge 0.8em; border-radius: 0.25em;} </style> </head><table style="width:100%;"><td style="width:50%;">(display: "Use Whiskey")</td><td style="width:50%;">(display: "Inventory01")</td> </table>}

{<head> <style> th, td {border: white ridge 0.8em; border-radius: 0.25em;} </style> </head><table style="width:100%;"><td style="width:50%;">(display: "Use Coin shaped Rocks")</td><td style="width:50%;">(display: "Inventory01")</td> </table>}

{<head> <style> th, td {border: white ridge 0.8em; border-radius: 0.25em;} </style> </head><table style="width:100%;"><td style="width:50%;">(display: "UseShoe")</td><td style="width:50%;">(display: "Inventory01")</td> </table>}

{<head> <style> th, td {border: white ridge 0.8em; border-radius: 0.25em;} </style> </head><table style="width:100%;"><td style="width:50%;">(display: "Use Fountain Pen")</td><td style="width:50%;">(display: "Inventory01")</td> </table>}

{<head> <style> th, td {border: white ridge 0.8em; border-radius: 0.25em;} </style> </head><table style="width:100%;"><td style="width:50%;">(display: "Use Hammer")</td><td style="width:50%;">(display: "Inventory01")</td> </table>}

{<head> <style> th, td {border: white ridge 0.8em; border-radius: 0.25em;} </style> </head><table style="width:100%;"><td style="width:50%;">(display: "Use Lipstick")</td><td style="width:50%;">(display: "Inventory01")</td> </table>}

{<head> <style> th, td {border: white ridge 0.8em; border-radius: 0.25em;} </style> </head><table style="width:100%;"><td style="width:50%;">(display: "Use Chequebook")</td><td style="width:50%;">(display: "Inventory01")</td> </table>}

{<head> <style> th, td {border: white ridge 0.8em; border-radius: 0.25em;} </style> </head><table style="width:100%;"><td style="width:50%;">(display: "Use Angry Letter")</td><td style="width:50%;">(display: "Inventory01")</td> </table>}

{<head> <style> th, td {border: white ridge 0.8em; border-radius: 0.25em;} </style> </head><table style="width:100%;"><td style="width:50%;">(display: "Use Coupon")</td><td style="width:50%;">(display: "Inventory01")</td> </table>}

{<head> <style> th, td {border: white ridge 0.8em; border-radius: 0.25em;} </style> </head><table style="width:100%;"><td style="width:50%;">(display: "Use Rope")</td><td style="width:50%;">(display: "Inventory01")</td> </table>}

{<head> <style> th, td {border: white ridge 0.8em; border-radius: 0.25em;} </style> </head><table style="width:100%;"><td style="width:50%;">(display: "Use No Water")</td><td style="width:50%;">(display: "Inventory01")</td> </table>}

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<maxtext>"I’m surprised you know either word."</maxtext> He crackes his knuckles. <maxtext>"I’d arrest you for ‘provoking a citywide pandemic somehow’ if I wasn’t too busy protecting the public from your mess." </maxtext> He turns around and runs back toward the mass of people trying to fend off the Composite Creatures. [[Rude|Intro to Destruction]]

<maxtext>“Public menace isn’t a race, Jonas. Cultural or athletic.” </maxtext> He crackes his knuckles. <maxtext>"I’d arrest you for ‘provoking a citywide pandemic somehow’ if I wasn’t too busy protecting the public from your mess." </maxtext> He turns around and runs back toward the mass of people trying to fend off the Composite Creatures. [[Rude|Intro to Destruction]]

(display: "Sapphire Street")

You Approach the place where Max is fighting the monsters and wait for Maxwell to notice you. After watching him pummel three beasties to a pulp at once, He finally sees you standing there and steps over to you taking a break from the never ending horde. <maxtext>"What?"</maxtext>(set: $inroom to (a:)) (set: $inroom to(array: "Maxwell")) (display: "Talk Maxwell")

---- [[Greet|Greet Max]] [[Ask What Happened|Ask Max What happened]] [[Ask for help saving the world|Max Save World]] [[Ask for help you getting past the horde|Max Help Pass]] [[Report attack]] [[Teach Max to breakdance|Max Breakdance]](if: $talkedabout contains "Help Edna")[ [[Get Max to help Edna|Max Help Edna]]] ---- [[Return to your safespot|Return to Sapphire Street]] (display: "DoStuff")

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{<head> <style> tw-passage {max-height: 99vh;} </style> </head> <body> (set: $inroom to (a:)) (set: $inroom to (array:"Maxwell", "Rioters", "Edna", "Goop")) (set: $where to "Sapphire street") }<div stlye="max-height: 40vh;"><div class="LocationPicture"><img src="http://placehold.it/450x450" data-raw="" class="" style="max-width: 25vw; max-height: 30vh; height: auto; width: auto; padding-right:5px; padding-bottom:5px;"></div><h1>Sapphire Street</h1> ---- The streets are in a whirlwind panic. Down the street, Captain Max fights a whole mess of the monstrous creatures raining from the sky. He swings a sludge monster around like a flail and seems to be doing a fairly good job, if the horde weren’t seemingly endless. For the time being, Max’s fury grants a calm in the storm. The few Composite Creatures that squeak through the cracks, ignore Jonas in favor of (if: $met contains "Edna")[Edna](else:)[a woman] standing on an awning. She seems to be keeping them at bay with a few well timed swipes with a stack of pamphlets. Every way out of this street is blocked by rubble, rioters, or hordes of these creatures.</div></div> (display: "LocalButtons")</body>

(if: $Jsaw contains "Edna")[](else:)[Hey that’s Edna Arthison.(set: $Jsaw to it + (array: "Edna"))]She’s still wearing her stern grey dress, although it looks a bit ragged at the moment. Her hair is beginning to free itself from her tight bun. She holds the hordes of creatures back, whipping at them with her stack of pamphlets. (display: "Sapphire Street")

Maxwell is looking as fearsome as ever. His green Orcish forearms are pumping like mad as he beats away at the creatures, occasionally bashing one against his breastplate or kicking them with his steel toed boots. You wonder why any crime exists with Cops like him around. (display: "Sapphire Street")

You would, but you're not certain that invite Captain Max to punch you is a good idea. --- (display: "Sapphire Street")

(if: $inroom contains "Edna")[You leave Edna up on the awning. the Creatures return to their attempts to climb up to where she is](if: $inroom contains "Maxwell")[Max sees the horde beginning to mass again and returns to the fray as you back away.] ---- (display: "Sapphire Street")

<maxtext>“You read the laws?”</maxtext> <ednatext>“They are in the public archive.”</ednatext> <maxtext>“Yeah but,"</maxtext> Max scratches his chin. <maxtext>"you aren't actually supposed to //read// them."</maxtext> <ednatext>“Unless you have an ongoing investigation, you must listen to my report.”</ednatext> <maxtext>“Ma’am, if you hadn't noticed, we got ourselves a genuine Armageddon going on over here.”</maxtext> <ednatext>“The Riot Squad can take care of that.”</ednatext> <maxtext>“We don’t have a Riot Squad, we just got a Riot.”</maxtext> Edna ignores Max’s protests and continues thumbing through her notes. <ednatext>“At 6:25 am, a cat woke me from a sound sleep, most likely breaking sound pollution ordinances. My decibellometor is broken so I’m just going to estimate it at 150-"</ednatext> <maxtext>“I’m sorry Ma’am, but I’m far too busy to listen to your ramblings."</maxtext> <ednatext>“With what?”</ednatext> <maxtext>“Uh…" he grabs you by your collar. “I gotta run this guy into the station for questioning. He’s a person of interest.”</maxtext> [[It's the first time anyones said you were interesting|Teaser]]

Your brain goes "blorff" [[nnnnnnnnnnnngh|Pre Rubble]]

{(set: $Inventory to it + (array: "Rope"))(set: $Inventory to it + (array: "Panties", "Whiskey", "Coin shaped Rocks", "Shoe", "Fountain Pen", "Hammer", "Lipstick", "Chequebook", "Coupon", "Angry Letter"))}(display: "Pre Rubble")

You scratch my back, I scratch yours. That's what it means. Don't touch me. (display: "Thereturnkey")

(link:"It works right?")[(set: $met to "Carl")(goto:"Does it work?")]

Ok. What are you incredulous about? (link:"Women")[(set: $bystander2 to "Woman")(goto:"Setup for CultistAttic")] (link:"Interracial Marriage")[(set: $bystander2 to "Half")(goto:"Setup for CultistAttic")] (link:"The Usefulness of Pants")[(set: $bystander2 to "Pants")(goto:"Setup for CultistAttic")]{  }

Ok. What are you incredulous about? (link:"Women")[(set: $bystander2 to "Woman")(goto:"Jump to CultBasementCorridor01")] (link:"Interracial Marriage")[(set: $bystander2 to "Half")(goto:"Jump to CultBasementCorridor01")] (link:"The Usefulness of Pants")[(set: $bystander2 to "Pants")(goto:"Jump to CultBasementCorridor01")]

(set: $Inventory to it + (array: "Rope"))(display: "Cultist Attic1")

Noted{(set: $Inventory to it + (array: "Rope", "Panties", "Whiskey", "Coin shaped Rocks", "Shoe", "Fountain Pen", "Hammer", "Lipstick", "Chequebook", "Coupon", "Angry Letter"))} And are you a fan of auto-defenestration? (link:"Yes")[(set: $Winjump to true)(goto:"CultBasementCorridor")] (link:"No")[(set: $Winjump to false)(goto:"CultBasementCorridor")]

Just as you make a move to run down the opposite way, a blob of black sludge lands in front of you. In a moment, the blob begins to solidify into a creature. Sections harden into a carapace, and others tighten into sinews. Standing (lurking really) before you is a grotesque mismatch of spider-legs, clamshells, and needle teeth. Even without eyes, you can tell it’s looking at you. [[Greet|Greetmonster]] [[Attack|Attack Monster]] [[Charm|CharmMonster]]

Double-click this passage to edit it.gsgd

{ (print: "<script>$('html').removeClass(\)</script>") (if: (passage:)'s tags's length > 0)[ (print: "<script>$('html').addClass('" + (passage:)'s tags.join(' ') + "'\)</script>") ] } [[Test Layout|Testing Sapphire Street]]

Slick Street has seen better days, well a few. Here the citizens of Goldenport have gathered, put their usual feuds on hold, and did what all Goldenportians do in times of crisis: Made barricades and grabbed the nearest blunt object. Barricades are useful in normal invasions, but since these invaders fall to the ground like rain, the barricade doesn’t keep them out. It does, however, create a haphazard wall for the people to fight on top. Very dramatic. You and Maxwell’s progress is hindered by the last barricade blocking the street. Maxwell turns his attention to the horde that begins to flow into the free space created by his bull rush. [[Look around for a way through the Barricade|Look Through Barricade]] [[Ask Max to help you through Barricade|Ask Max Through Barricade]]

This barricade is well made, in fact it much better constructed than the average Goldenport building. This Barricade probably doesn’t even have major structural flaws hidden behind nude pinups. No way through, but looking up recognize a friend. Well, someone you know in any case. It’s Markus the Magenta, Wizard of the chromatic order, and serial Pyromancy-iac. He stands tall, for him, and provides a covering fire of...fire, against the endless horde. He dual wields handfuls of flame, screaming incantations that sound deceptively like profanity, and pelts the Composite creatures with magical plasma. A few fireballs hit the chitinous parts of the creatures and just fizzle, but enough of the flame hits in eyes and exposed flesh. Although the flesh is seemingly wet, the heat of Markus’s rage burns through the layer of sea mucus. A broad grin covers Markus’s face. [[Call out to Markus|Call Markus]] [[Just sort of hope he notices you|Hope Markus]]

You shout out to Max, hoping he’ll just find a preexisting hole to push you through, rather than make one with your body. But he is too lost in the fray to respond. Maybe someone on top the Barricade can help you up. Looking up recognize a friend. Well, someone you know in any case. It’s Markus the Magenta, Wizard of the chromatic order, and serial Pyromancy-iac. He stands tall, for him, and provides a covering fire of...fire, against the endless horde. He dual wields handfuls of flame, screaming incantations that sound deceptively like profanity, and pelts the Composite creatures with magical plasma. A few fireballs hit the chitinous parts of the creatures and just fizzle, but enough of the flame hits in eyes and exposed flesh. Although the flesh is seemingly wet, the heat of Markus’s rage burns through the layer of sea mucus. A broad grin covers Markus’s face. [[Call out to Markus|Call Markus]] [[Just sort of hope he notices you|Hope Markus]]

<jonastext>“Could you please figure out a way to get me up there?”</jonastext> <markustext>“Oh yeah sure.”</markustext> He smiles and throws a handful of flame onto the cobblestones at your feet. The flames quickly spread across the ground, giving you no place to stand. <jonastext>“Damn it Mark!”</jonastext> You jump onto the side of the barricade. Looking up, you see Markus raise one hand, and the flames begin rising in the air, licking at your feet. You begin climbing, finding what handholds you can, with the fire following close behind. Eventually you reach the top, slightly singed, and flop onto your back next to Markus. <jonastext>“What the hell Markus?”</jonastext> (set: $MarkMeth to "wave of flame") <markustext>“Hey, it got you up here.”</markustext> The fire rising behind you floats up over the barricade, suspended in the air. Markus waves his hands and the flames roll out across the horde advancing on the barricade. [[Get up|Intro to Markus]]

You get up and brush the burned parts off your clothes. The $MarkMeth has created a slight calm in the endless siege. Looking out where you just came from, you see Captain Max standing in the center of a pile of composite creature bodies, covered in the brackish blood. He pants and wipes the sweat from his brow. More lost citizens start appearing out from behind knocked over merchant stands and inside the surrounding buildings, like roaches when the Raid is washed away. Maxwell starts directing the survivors to the barricade, and turns his attention to the next wave of creatures. <markustext>“You might want to get off the barricade, before the advancing horde knocks you off.”</markustext> You squint at the Creatures in the distance, currently being harrowed by the good Captain. <jonastext>“It’ll take them a bit to get here.”</jonastext> <markustext>“I meant them.”</markustext> Markus gestures at the survivors starting to climb the barricade. The first survivors are just starting to crest the top, and they look like they’ll definitely knock you out of their way. [[Jump Down|Jump down Barricade]] [[Climb Down|Climb down Barricade]]

Looking at the safe, relatively, side of the barricade you decide to jump down. Preparing yourself, you hop down. Just as your feet leave the top of the barricade, your shoelace catches on the edge of a hat rack acting as a support beam. You flip over in the air and belly flop onto the ground. [[Ouch|Slick Street]]

Carefully picking your way down the other side of the barricade, you grab the handle of a chest of drawers. Rather than support your weight, it slides out, showers you with stockings and underwear, and sends you tumbling to the ground. [[Ouch|Slick Street]]

{<head> <style> tw-passage {max-height: 99vh;} </style> </head> <body> (set: $inroom to (a:)) (set: $inroom to (array:"Markus", "Rioters", "Goop")) (if: $met contains "Charlie")[(set: $inroom to it + (array: "Charlie"))] (if: $met contains "Arthur")[(set: $inroom to it + (array: "Arthur"))] (set: $where to "Slick Street") }<div stlye="max-height: 40vh;"><div class="LocationPicture"><img src="http://placehold.it/450x450" data-raw="" class="" style="max-width: 25vw; max-height: 30vh; height: auto; width: auto; padding-right:5px; padding-bottom:5px;"></div><h1>Slick Street</h1> ---- (if: $SlickCounter is 3)[(if: $met contains "Wayout")[(display:"Slick Desc")](else:)[(display: "Wayout Introduction")]](else:)[(if: $SlickCounter is 2)[(unless: $met contains "Godzilla")[(display: "Godzilla Introduction")](else:)[(display:"Slick Desc")]](else:)[(if: $SlickCounter is 1)[(unless: $met contains "Charlie")[(display: "Charlie Introduction")](else:)[(display:"Slick Desc")]](else:)[(if: $SlickCounter is 0)[(display:"Slick Desc")]]] ]

(if: $SlickCounter is 3)[](else:)[(set: $SlickCounter to it + 1)]You step closer to the barricade Markus stands atop and wait for him to take a break from assaulting the oncoming horde. After a couple minutes, he stops and starts drinking from a flask. [[What Happened?|MarkusHaps]] [[What are you doing?|MarkusDoing]] [[Tell about Cultists|MarkusCult]] [[Ask for help saving the world|MarkusSave]] [[Ask him to fix everything with magic|MarkusMagicFix]] (display: "Thereturnkey")

Just as you get back to your safespot, the sound of shattering glass draws your gaze to the front doors of the Royal Riches Casino and hotel. The largest composite creature, mostly crab-claws and lamprey suckers, tumbles through the doors and falls flat against the ground. Leaping from the busted door comes Charlie. Sporting a red cocktail dress, Charlie lands on top the monstrous beast, hefts a sledgehammer in one hand and smashes the facsimile of a head into a pile of black smears. Just as soon as the beastie's head bursts, another leaps towards Charlie, with a mouth shaped like a circular saw. Charlie swings up another hammer in her other hand, a stone headed Warhammer, and crushes the creature’s featureless chest. Charlie leaps up and begins spinning gracefully, a music box dancer with blunt instruments. The creatures mindlessly pounce towards her and then fly back in pieces.(set: $met to it + (array: "Charlie")) [[Try not to look down her dress|Slick Street]]

{<head> <style> tw-passage {max-height: none; overflow: auto; } </style> </head> <body> (set: $inroom to (a:)) (set: $inroom to (array:"Markus", "Rioters", "Goop")) (if: $met contains "Charlie")[(set: $inroom to it + (array: "Charlie"))] (if: $met contains "Arthur")[(set: $inroom to it + (array: "Arthur"))] (set: $where to "Slick Street") }<div stlye="max-height: 40vh;"><div class="LocationPicture"><img src="http://placehold.it/450x450" data-raw="" class="" style="max-width: 25vw; max-height: 30vh; height: auto; width: auto; padding-right:5px; padding-bottom:5px;"></div><h1>Slick Street</h1> ---- (if: $SlickCounter is 3)[(if: $met contains "Wayout")[(display:"Slick Desc")](else:)[(display: "Wayout Introduction")]](else:)[(if: $SlickCounter is 2)[(unless: $met contains "Godzilla")[(display: "Godzilla Introduction")](else:)[(display:"Slick Desc")]](else:)[(if: $SlickCounter is 1)[(unless: $met contains "Charlie")[(display: "Charlie Introduction")](else:)[(display:"Slick Desc")]](else:)[(if: $SlickCounter is 0)[(display:"Slick Desc")]]]]

An ungodly screech deafens you momentarily. Across the cityscape, A gigantic figure comes into view. A massive beast covered in tentacles and wings, Towering over the buildings. If there was an eldritch elder god, that's it. It seems to be making its way toward the north end of the city, knocking down buildings as it goes. You notice the blobs of black sludge spewing forth from pores on its back. The sludge flies high into the air before raining back down onto the city. All of this is incredibly gross. (set: $met to it + (array: "Godzilla")) [[Understatement|Lead to Godzilla]]

As the Giant Beastie in the distance tumbles down buildings, A line of skyscrapers fall upon each other in a domino effect. You wonder briefly if "Act of Death God" Is covered in homeowner's insurance. But in anycase, there is now an unbroken path directly to where the Giant monster is. Coincidentally, it seems to be right next to the library.(set: $met to it + (array: "Wayout")) [[Isn't that just how it always is?|Slick Street]]

(if: $SlickCounter is 3)[](else:)[(set: $SlickCounter to it + 1)]You try to get close, but she's too busy bashing skulls. --- (display: "Thereturnkey")

What will happen to Jonas Mallory? *Try not to cry! *Be insignificant! *Struggle even more! *Meet the illusive Sam Ravenoir! *Save the world and die trying Play Jonas Mallory and The Bibliotek of DOOM! Coming Soon! You commited: $OOCD count(unless: $OOCD is "1")[s] of Obstructing an Officer in the course of his duty 3 counts of Bank Fraud 2 counts of Assault 0 counts of Grand Theft Sacramental Weapon 4 counts of Destruction of Public Property 2 counts of Coercion 1 count of Racketeering

Markus notices the Giant monster as well. He flips around and begins conjuring a massive fireball. Across the cityscape, you notice beams of colorful light and glowing balls flying up and hitting the giant monster. The other wizards and thaumaturgists seem to have the same idea as Markus: Kill the big thing with a big blast of magic. Markus lets his fireball grow to at least 25ft diametor before letting it loose. He grins and throws the mini-sun. The massive fireball hits its mark, squarely in the kidneys (If that thing even has them). The flames flow across the creature and does absolutly nothing. Markus shrugs and turns back to the horde, throw much less impressive fireballs at them. [[Well...Shit|Slick Street]]

{<head> <style> ttt {float: right; max-width:50vw; min-width:40vw; border: #330064 ridge 0.8em; padding-top: 10px; padding-bottom: 10px; padding-right: 10px; padding-left: 10px; align: center;} tt2 {float: left; max-width:50vw; min-width:40vw; border: #330064 ridge 0.8em; padding-top: 10px; padding-bottom: 10px; padding-right: 10px; padding-left: 10px; align: center;} </style> </head> <body>}<div stlye="max-height: auto;"><div stlye="max-height: auto; position:static;"> --- {<ttt style="width:25vw; min-width:100px;">[[Try to Remember]]</ttt>}<tt2 style="max-width:50vw; min-width:100px; padding: 1px;">(if: $where contains"Clocktower")[(display:"Clocktower Actions")](if: $where contains"Ringle Courtyard")[(display: "Ringle Actions")](if: $where contains "destroyedcloset")[(display: "Destroyed closet Actions")](if: $where contains "badcloset")[(display: "Closet2actions")](if: $where contains "Attic")[(display: "Attic Actions")](if: $where contains "Sapphire street")[(if: $met contains "Edna")[[[Get Edna's attention|Approach Edna]]](else:)[[[Get Woman's attention|Approach Edna]]] [[Get Captain Max's attention|Approach Maxwell]]]</tt2> <hr style="border-color: transparent;"></div> </div> (display: "DoStuff")</body>

{(set: $Inventory to it + (array: "Rope", "Panties", "Whiskey", "Coin shaped Rocks", "Shoe", "Fountain Pen", "Hammer", "Lipstick", "Chequebook", "Coupon", "Angry Letter")) (set: $bystander2 to "Woman") (set: $Winjump to true)} [[Testing Layout Main]] [[Testing Layout Dialoge]] [[Testing Events|Test Intro to Slick Street]] (display: "Sapphire Street")

<div style="max-height:160px;max-width:100%; #ccc;overflow:auto;">Searching your pants, jacket, and socks you find:(if: $Inventory contains "Panties")[ [[Panties|Use Panties Table]] ](else:)[] (if: $Inventory contains "Whiskey")[ [[Whiskey|Use Whiskey Table]] ](else:)[] (if: $Inventory contains "Coin shaped Rocks")[ [[Coin shaped Rocks|Use Coin shaped Rocks Table]] ](else:)[] (if: $Inventory contains "Shoe")[ [[Shoe|UseShoe Table]] ](else:)[] (if: $Inventory contains "Fountain Pen")[ [[Fountain Pen|Use Fountain Pen Table]] ](else:)[] (if: $Inventory contains "Hammer")[ [[Hammer|Use Hammer Table]] ](else:)[] (if: $Inventory contains "Lipstick")[ [[Lipstick|Use Lipstick Table]] ](else:)[] (if: $Inventory contains "Chequebook")[ [[Chequebook|Use Chequebook Table]] ](else:)[] (if: $Inventory contains "Angry Letter")[ [[Angry Letter|Use Angry Letter Table]] ](else:)[] (if: $Inventory contains "Coupon")[ [[Coupon|Use Coupon Table]] ](else:)[] (if: $Inventory contains "Rope")[ [[Rope|Use Rope Table]] ](else:)[] (if: $Inventory contains "No Water")[ [[No Water|Use No Water Table]] ](else:)[]</div>

{ (set: $inroom to (a:)) (set: $inroom to (array:"Maxwell", "Rioters", "Edna", "Goop")) (set: $where to "Sapphire street") }<div class="LocationPicture"><img src="http://placehold.it/450x450"></div><h1>Sapphire Street</h1> ---- The streets are in a whirlwind panic. Down the street, Captain Max fights a whole mess of the monstrous creatures raining from the sky. He swings a sludge monster around like a flail and seems to be doing a fairly good job, if the horde weren’t seemingly endless. For the time being, Max’s fury grants a calm in the storm. The few Composite Creatures that squeak through the cracks, ignore Jonas in favor of (if: $met contains "Edna")[Edna](else:)[a woman] standing on an awning. She seems to be keeping them at bay with a few well timed swipes with a stack of pamphlets. Every way out of this street is blocked by rubble, rioters, or hordes of these creatures.

{<head> <style> tw-passage {max-height: 99vh;} </style> </head> <body> (set: $inroom to (a:)) (set: $inroom to (array:"Maxwell", "Rioters", "Edna", "Goop")) (set: $where to "Sapphire street") }<div stlye="max-height: 40vh;"><div class="LocationPicture"><img src="http://placehold.it/450x450" data-raw="" class="" style="max-width: 25vw; max-height: 30vh; height: auto; width: auto; padding-right:5px; padding-bottom:5px;"></div><h1>Sapphire Street</h1> ---- <div style="max-height:30vh;max-width:100vw; #ccc;overflow:auto;">The streets are in a whirlwind panic. Down the street, Captain Max fights a whole mess of the monstrous creatures raining from the sky. He swings a sludge monster around like a flail and seems to be doing a fairly good job, if the horde weren’t seemingly endless. For the time being, Max’s fury grants a calm in the storm. The few Composite Creatures that squeak through the cracks, ignore Jonas in favor of (if: $met contains "Edna")[Edna](else:)[a woman] standing on an awning. She seems to be keeping them at bay with a few well timed swipes with a stack of pamphlets. Every way out of this street is blocked by rubble, rioters, or hordes of these creatures.</div></div> (display: "LocalButtons")</body>

You Approach the place where Max is fighting the monsters and wait for Maxwell to notice you. After watching him pummel three beasties to a pulp at once, He finally sees you standing there and steps over to you taking a break from the never ending horde. "What?"(set: $inroom to (a:)) (set: $inroom to(array: "Maxwell")) (display: "Talk Maxwelltest")

<div>[[Greet|Greet Max test]] [[Ask What Happened|Ask Max What happened test]] [[Ask for help saving the world|Max Save World Test]] [[Ask for help you getting past the horde|Max Help Pass Test]] [[Report attack|Report Attack Test]] [[Teach Max to breakdance|Max Breakdance Test]](if: $talkedabout contains "Help Edna")[ [[Get Max to help Edna|Max Help Edna Test]]] ---- [[Return to your Testing|Testing Sapphire Street]]</div> (display: "DoStuff")

<div style="float:right;"><img src="http://placehold.it/450x650" data-raw="" class="" style="max-height: 60vh; height: auto; max-width: 50vh; width: auto; padding-left:5px; padding-bottom:5px;"></div> Slick Street has seen better days, well a few. Here the citizens of Goldenport have gathered, put their usual feuds on hold, and did what all Goldenportians do in times of crisis: Made barricades and grabbed the nearest blunt object. Barricades are useful in normal invasions, but since these invaders fall to the ground like rain, the barricade doesn’t keep them out. It does, however, create a haphazard wall for the people to fight on top. Very dramatic. You and Maxwell’s progress is hindered by the last barricade blocking the street. Maxwell turns his attention to the horde that begins to flow into the free space created by his bull rush. --- [[Look around for a way through the Barricade|Test Look Through Barricade]] [[Ask Max to help you through Barricade|Test Ask Max Through Barricade]]

<div style="float:right;"><img src="http://placehold.it/450x650" data-raw="" class="" style="max-height: 60vh; height: auto; max-width: 50vh; width: auto; padding-left:5px; padding-bottom:5px;"></div> This barricade is well made, in fact it much better constructed than the average Goldenport building. This Barricade probably doesn’t even have major structural flaws hidden behind nude pinups. No way through, but looking up recognize a friend. Well, someone you know in any case. It’s Markus the Magenta, Wizard of the chromatic order, and serial Pyromancy-iac. He stands tall, for him, and provides a covering fire of...fire, against the endless horde. He dual wields handfuls of flame, screaming incantations that sound deceptively like profanity, and pelts the Composite creatures with magical plasma. A few fireballs hit the chitinous parts of the creatures and just fizzle, but enough of the flame hits in eyes and exposed flesh. Although the flesh is seemingly wet, the heat of Markus’s rage burns through the layer of sea mucus. A broad grin covers Markus’s face. --- [[Call out to Markus|TestCall Markus]] [[Just sort of hope he notices you|TestHope Markus]]

<div style="float:right;"><img src="http://placehold.it/450x650" data-raw="" class="" style="max-height: 60vh; height: auto; max-width: 50vh; width: auto; padding-left:5px; padding-bottom:5px;"></div> You shout out to Max, hoping he’ll just find a preexisting hole to push you through, rather than make one with your body. But he is too lost in the fray to respond. Maybe someone on top the Barricade can help you up. Looking up recognize a friend. Well, someone you know in any case. It’s Markus the Magenta, Wizard of the chromatic order, and serial Pyromancy-iac. He stands tall, for him, and provides a covering fire of...fire, against the endless horde. He dual wields handfuls of flame, screaming incantations that sound deceptively like profanity, and pelts the Composite creatures with magical plasma. A few fireballs hit the chitinous parts of the creatures and just fizzle, but enough of the flame hits in eyes and exposed flesh. Although the flesh is seemingly wet, the heat of Markus’s rage burns through the layer of sea mucus. A broad grin covers Markus’s face. --- [[Call out to Markus|TestCall Markus]] [[Just sort of hope he notices you|TestHope Markus]]

<div style="float:right;"><img src="http://placehold.it/450x650" data-raw="" class="" style="max-height: 60vh; height: auto; max-width: 50vh; width: auto; padding-left:5px; padding-bottom:5px;"></div> You scream and wave your hands, trying to catch Markus’s eye. You do, but not in the way you wanted. He apparently just saw a pair of hands, and assumed you wanted to be bombarded with fire. You duck, just in time to set only one of your sleeves ablaze. As you flail to put of the flame, the volleys of fireballs subside for a moment. “Oh hey Jonas.” --- [[Charming as ever|TestStart talking to Markus]]

<div style="float:right;"><img src="http://placehold.it/450x650" data-raw="" class="" style="max-height: 60vh; height: auto; max-width: 50vh; width: auto; padding-left:5px; padding-bottom:5px;"></div> You stand there stock still, looking up at Markus, smiling, hoping he notices you. With a flick of his wrist, a handful of arcane embers shower over you, some falling into the back of your jacket. You scream and smack the embers out. “Hey watch where you throw those things.” “I was,” Says Markus. “I just wanted you to stop staring at me like a creep. --- [[Charming as ever|TestStart talking to Markus]]

<div style="float:right;"><img src="http://placehold.it/450x650" data-raw="" class="" style="max-height: 60vh; height: auto; max-width: 50vh; width: auto; padding-left:5px; padding-bottom:5px;"></div> “You’ve been missing the fun.” “I was attacked by some crazy cultists who wanted to sacrifice me to their eldritch god.” “Oh ok. We’ve been fighting these thinguses. If you hit them in the right spot, they burn easy. You should totally try it. I mean with some kinda, non-magical way. ‘cus of your...condition.” “I can’t use magic, don’t talk about it like it’s some kinda handicap.” “No-No,” He says reassuringly. “It’s not a handicap, you’re just...special. Everyone’s special in their own way.” “Belittle me later and help me up, would ya?” “I can glimpse into the cosmic,” He continues, ignoring you. “See beyond the material to the awesome whole of creation, and throw exploding fireballs with my mind. And you...know a lot about vending machines.” --- [[Demand he help you|TestDemand Markus]] [[Ask politely for help|TestPolite Markus]]

<div style="float:right;"><img src="http://placehold.it/450x650" data-raw="" class="" style="max-height: 60vh; height: auto; max-width: 50vh; width: auto; padding-left:5px; padding-bottom:5px;"></div> “Damn it Markus Help me up, you waste of a child’s purple bathrobe!” “Fine!” He says some unintelligible words under his breath, balls his hand into a fist, and thrusts it toward the sky. A sudden burst of nonspecific force blows up from the ground, knocking you off your feet and into the air. You are flung 10 yards up, and fall heavily onto the top of the barricade. “Thanks” you say, trying to recover the wind knocked out of you. (set: $MarkMeth to "blast of force") “No problem-o!” --- [[Get up|TestIntro to Markus]]

<div style="float:right;"><img src="http://placehold.it/450x650" data-raw="" class="" style="max-height: 60vh; height: auto; max-width: 50vh; width: auto; padding-left:5px; padding-bottom:5px;"></div> “Could you please figure out a way to get me up there?” “Oh yeah sure,” He smiles and throws a handful of flame onto the cobblestones at your feet. The flames quickly spread across the ground, giving you no place to stand. “Damn it Mark!” You jump onto the side of the barricade. Looking up, you see Markus raise one hand, and the flames begin rising in the air, licking at your feet. You begin climbing, finding what handholds you can, with the fire following close behind. Eventually you reach the top, slightly singed, and flop onto your back next to Markus. “What the hell Markus?” (set: $MarkMeth to "wave of flame") “Hey, it got you up here.” The fire rising behind you floats up over the barricade, suspended in the air. Markus waves his hands and the flames roll out across the horde advancing on the barricade. --- [[Get up|TestIntro to Markus]]

<div style="float:right;"><img src="http://placehold.it/450x650" data-raw="" class="" style="max-height: 60vh; height: auto; max-width: 50vh; width: auto; padding-left:5px; padding-bottom:5px;"></div> You get up and brush the burned parts off your clothes. The $MarkMeth has created a slight calm in the endless siege. Looking out where you just came from, you see Captain Max standing in the center of a pile of composite creature bodies, covered in the brackish blood. He pants and wipes the sweat from his brow. More lost citizens start appearing out from behind knocked over Merchant stands and inside the surrounding buildings, like roaches when the Raid is washed away. Maxwell starts directing the survivors to the barricade, and turns his attention to the next wave of creatures. “You might want to get off the barricade," says Markus, "before the advancing horde knocks you off.” You squint at the Creatures in the distance, currently being harrowed by the good Captain. You shrug. “It’ll take them a bit to get here.” “I meant them,” says Markus and gestures at the survivors starting to climb the barricade. The first survivors are just starting to crest the top. They’ll definitely knock you out of their way. --- [[Jump Down|TestJump down Barricade]] [[Climb Down|TestClimb down Barricade]]

<div style="float:right;"><img src="http://placehold.it/450x650" data-raw="" class="" style="max-height: 60vh; height: auto; max-width: 50vh; width: auto; padding-left:5px; padding-bottom:5px;"></div>Looking at the safe, relatively, side of the barricade you decide to jump down. Preparing yourself, you hop down. Just as your feet leave the top of the barricade, your shoelace catches on the edge of a hat rack acting as a support beam. You flip over in the air and belly flop onto the ground. --- [[Ouch|Event Testing over]]

<div style="float:right;"><img src="http://placehold.it/450x650" data-raw="" class="" style="max-height: 60vh; height: auto; max-width: 50vh; width: auto; padding-left:5px; padding-bottom:5px;"></div>Carefully picking your way down the other side of the barricade, you grab the handle of a chest of drawers and rather than support your weight, it slides out, showers you with stockings and underwear, and sends you tumbling to the ground. --- [[Ouch|Event Testing over]]

This has been a test of the Event Layout.

You move through the streets like a snake. At least a snake not used to lacking legs. You try to avoid any of the sludge creature but inevitably run into a group of the beasties. Luckily they aren’t the best runners. The ones with legs are usually pretty top heavy with other limbs. Just as you outrun another group of beasties, a familiar smooth voice hits your ears. [[Oh no.|Intro to Sam1]]

{<head> <style> tw-passage {max-height: 99vh; overflow: auto; } </style> </head> <body> (set: $inroom to (a:)) (set: $inroom to (array:"Sam", "Bambi", "Breadsticks")) (set: $where to "Glister street") }<div stlye="max-height: 40vh;"><div class="LocationPicture"><img src="http://placehold.it/450x450" data-raw="" class="" style="max-width: 25vw; max-height: 30vh; height: auto; width: auto; padding-right:5px; padding-bottom:5px;"></div><h1>Glister street</h1> ---- Under normal circumstances, Glister Street is the home to a few upscale restaurants. Right now it is home to a horde of black sludge beasties, destroying a few upscale restaurants. Despite the chaos around him, Sam Ravenoir stands at an outside table having a late dinner. He smiles and lifts his martini glass in your direction. [[Continue on your way|Leaving Sam]]</div></div> (display: "DoStuff")</body>

You approach the ever relaxed Sam Ravenoir. <samtext>"Hello Jonas. Do you have something worthwhile to say or are you behaving normally?"</samtext> [[Tell about book|Tell Sam Book]] [[Tell about cultists|Tell Sam Cultists]] [[Ask what happened|Ask Sam Happened]] [[Ask for help saving the world|Sam Save World]] --- (display: "Intro to Glister Street")

You yell a series of curse words at Sam. Venting about all the shit you've had to go through just to apease his little whims. After a few minutes you pause to catch your breath. Only then do you notice that Sam is looking down the street and ot at you. <samtext>"Hm?"</samtext> He turns back to you. <samtext>"I'm sorry I was thinking about something else. Did you want something?"</samtext> <jonastext>"No."</jonastext> --- (display: "Intro to Glister Street")

<jonastext>"Hey Bambi."</jonastext> <bambitext>"..."</bambitext> <jonastext>"How has your day been going?"</jonastext> <bambitext>"..."</bambitext> <jonastext>"Mine's been pretty crap. Someone hit me on the head and now it seems the world is ending."</jonastext> <bambitext>"..."</bambitext> <jonastext>"You know, just having quotation marks and ellipses is a waste of puncuation. You could just describe her silence."</jonastext> Fine. She ignores you. --- (display: "Intro to Glister Street")

<jonastext>"A sean teh."</jonastext> You say, and gently take Bambi's hand from the table. You bring it up to you lips before you realize that you're just holding a glove. You feel the tips of a fork dig into your neck. <bambitext>"Do you mind? You're getting spit on my glove."</bambitext> You move the glove away from your mouth and the fork slides out of your flesh. In one fluid motion Bambi thrusts her hand back into her glove and flicks your nose away. --- (display: "Intro to Glister Street")

You hold you hand out for Sam. <jonastext>"Put her there pal."</jonastext> <samtext>"I don't shake on the first business transation."</samtext> --- (display: "Intro to Glister Street")

You reach up and knock the Martini glass out of Sam's hand. It flips in the air, throwing its contents all over. Sam's hand catches the glas on the down swing and scoops the liquid out of the air. Your mouth opens involintarily. The olive bounces once on the table when Sam's other hand flicks into your open mouth. You spend the next minute coughing and spluttering. <samtext>"Nice try jonas."</samtext> He swils his drink then looks up. <samtext>"I can't lie, that was a terrible try Jonas. But you're getting reletivly better." He replaces the olive from the bowel on the table.</samtext> --- (display: "Intro to Glister Street")

You reach over to make the Magizine out of the way to make eye contact with Bambi. Just as your hand touchs the paper, she slides the edge along the pad of your finger, giving you a small papercut. You yelp and suck on the digit. <bambitext>"Would you mind not getting your blood on this article. I haven't finished reading it yet."</bambitext> --- (display: "Intro to Glister Street")

Apocalypse looks good on Sam. So do most things come to think of it. His crushed velvet vest and silk tie are still immaculate. His suit jacket is draped gracefully over the back of his chair. --- (display: "Intro to Glister Street")

It’s Bambi at her Bamiest. She’s exchanged her daytime white and gold cocktail dress for a sleek nighttime black and blue cocktail dress. She doesn’t look up at you, but instead continues to thumb through her magazine. Upon closer inspection, you see the magazine is something called Apocalypse monthly. --- (display: "Intro to Glister Street")

You turn to leave. <jonastext>“See ya, Sam.”</jonastext> Sam raises a pair of fingers in his free hand. <samtext>“Wait, Jonas.”</samtext> [[Ignore|Ignore Sam]] [[Respond|Respond Sam]]

Following the trail of destruction gets easier as you go along. The black sludge beasties seem to be moving away from the giant monster. So as you get closer, you encounter less and less of the creatures. Eventually you find your way through the chaos to the Galt Street Square, just outside… The Library. It stands, looming, the giant stone building. The source of your despair, the place you’d least like to go. This prison for words and temple for dullness. When you first saw it this morning, you knew it would be your undoing. Perching atop the library, a figure of abject horror lurks. More massive than anything possible, the eldritch Creature towers above the city. You’d question how a creature of such stature hasn't crushed the Library under its weight, if you weren’t busy trying not to crap your pants. Seeing the beast this closely empties your mind of any thought but fear. A fear older than mankind. A fear of the ever looming darkness of the deepest night. A shadow of frozen air indistinguishable from the numbness of death and the verging blankness of sleep. Also, it’s plain old ugly. [[Observe its ugliness|Examine Deep]] [[Run!|Flee Deep]]

Its face is a mess of tentacles and dark murky flesh. Below the writhing swaying suckers, a body covered in a rubbery scaley hide. It huddles in a squatting position resting its foreclaws on its knees. Gripping the roof of the library in prodigious hind claws, it overshadows the city. A pair of long narrow wings sprout from its back. The more you look at it, the less sense it makes. Why would it have a squid’s head but a body not suitable for the ocean. If it were amphibious, why would it have wings at all? And surely those wings are vestigial, they are far too thin to support any creature that big. Surely, it only lives through some trick of the light made manifest. You’d find the creature’s absurdity amusing, if it weren’t standing in front of you. Like an optical illusion you suddenly find in real life, the sight of this plainly impossible thing makes you nervous. It shouldn’t be, and yet it is. And it seeks to bring more of it’s kind to physical existence. [[You're certain of that somehow|Library Courtyard01]]

You want to turn and run from this creature. Flee from it’s clear unnaturalness. But either through some strange mental manipulation of the creature, or you own clumsiness, the thought moves through your body in pieces. You spin your shoulders and your torso to flee, but your legs are still standing stock still. This sudden change in equilibrium causes you to tilt over, elbow out, and fall towards the ground. Just too late, your legs try to flee, kicking out behind you and bashing themselves against the cobblestones and you hit the ground in a heap. You scramble to get up before the eldritch horror eats you. Then you notice that it hasn’t moved. The creature is paying you no mind. It’s hard to see where it’s looking, but its head is slightly inclined towards the clock tower. You stand and rub the pain in your leg where a particularly poorly cut stone jabbed you. [[Ow|Library Courtyard01]]

You stand just outside thexplode or just ou the fall of civilization continues, but with less noise than the other places in the city. Obviously, so close to the Deep God is like the eye of the storm. A pair of armor clad warriors batter a group of beasties in the Water Fountain. An angry mob stands in front of the Clocktower, trying to get a clear shot with a pelting of cobblestones, debris, and the occasional flaming bottle at the Deep God. The projectiles bounce harmlessly off its hide and the bottles shatter but fail to catch any piece of flammable flesh. Another group of people gather around something you can’t see just to the right of the library doors. The Library is strangely untouched. The barred windows are unscathed and the door doesn’t seem to be either knocked in or knocked out.

{<head> <style> tw-passage {max-height: 99vh; overflow: auto; } </style> </head> <body> }<div stlye="max-height: 40vh;"><div class="LocationPicture"><img src="http://placehold.it/450x450" data-raw="" class="" style="max-width: 25vw; max-height: 30vh; height: auto; width: auto; padding-right:5px; padding-bottom:5px;"></div><h1>Ringle Courtyard</h1> ---- { (set: $inroom to (a:)) (set: $inroom to (array: "Deep God", "Fountain")) (if: $met contains "Elle Statue")[(set: $inroom to it + (array: "Elle Statue"))] (if: $met contains "Dan Uki")[(if: $Inventory contains "Molotov Cocktail kit")[](else:)[(set: $inroom to it + (array: "Dan Uki Pamphlets"))]] (set: $where to "Ringle Courtyard") }You stand just outside the Library. Around you the fall of civilization continues, but with less noise than the other places in the city. Obviously so close to the Deep God is like the eye of the storm. A pair of armor clad warriors batter a group of beasties in the Water Fountain. (if: $met contains "Deep God Climbs")[The Deep God has stopped waiting, and continues its climb, knocking down tiles and bricks as it assends.](else:)[The Deep God sits ontop of the tower. This impossible thing, this perverson of all that is natural, sits atop the library as if it is waiting for something.] (if: $Inventory contains "Molotov Cocktail kit")[(if: $met contains "Deep God Climbs")[Dan Uki still stand in front of the tower, ignoring the Deep God's presence, as he tries to recoup his product from his former customers. Some of the angry mob is more concerned with arguing with Dan then continuing the assault on the Deep God.](else:)[Dan Uki's meddling has dispursed the mob somewhat. If you really wanted too, you could get into the tower. Luckily, you don't want too. ](else:)[(if: $met contains "Deep God Climbs")[What’s left of the angry mob continues to pelt the Deep God with rocks, garbage, and flaming bottles. Because the beast is right overhead, the missed projectiles are raining down upon them. But they continue. Angry mobs aren’t known for their grasp on cause and effect.](else:)[An angry mob stands in front of the Clocktower, trying to get a clear shot with a pelting of cobblestones, debris, and the occasional flaming bottle at the Deep God. The projectiles bounce harmlessly off its hide and the bottles shatter but fail to catch any piece of flammable flesh. You couldn't get into the tower, if you really wanted too. Luckily, you don't want too.]]] (if: $Inventory contains "Molotov Cocktail kit")[](else:)[(if: $met contains "Dan Uki")[Dan Uki stands to the right of the library door, still annoyed that you scared off his customers.](else:)[Another group of people gather around something you can’t see, just to the right of the library doors.]](if: $met contains "Elle Statue")[L stands next to the fallen statue, fighting Mosters and directing the citizens to the Backwash Lane, the cleared path out of the city. the constent flow of fleeing people makes you uncertain about running down this way.] The Library is strangely untouched. The barred windows are unscathed and the door doesn’t seem to be either knocked in or knocked out. (if: $met contains "Elle Statue")[(if: $met contains "Deep God Climbs")[(if: $Inventory contains "Molotov Cocktail Instructions")[[[You feel a rumbling in your stomach...|Decide1]]]]]</div></div> (display: "LocalButtons")</body>

{(set: $Inventory to it + (array: "Rope")) (set: $bystander2 to "Woman") (set: $Inventory to it + (array: "Rope", "Panties", "Whiskey", "Coin shaped Rocks", "Shoe", "Fountain Pen", "Hammer", "Lipstick", "Chequebook", "Coupon", "Angry Letter")) (set: $Winjump to true)}[[Ok. Here goes nothing.|Intro to Slick Street]]

Double-click this passage to edit it.

[[Make battering ram from debris|BatterramDebris]]

The pieces are far too broken to do anything like that without getting splinters all up in your hands. ---- (display: "Destroyed closet")

(if: $Inventory contains "Panties")[* [[Leave through Window|Out Window]] * [[Leave through Door|Out Door]] ](else:)[ [[Blindly shove garbage into your pockets|NoLookTable]] ][[Become King of the Attic|AtticKing]]

Without even looking at what any of this is you begin shoving the garbage on the table into your pockets. After feeling something lacey and something hard and moist, you decide 'maybe actually looking at these things would be a good idea.' You pull the things out of your pocket and look at them (display:"Look at table")

You silently declare yourself King. After a couple seconds surveying your kingdom, you decide that it is kinda crappy and renounce your rule. --- (display: "CultistAttic")

Double-click this passage to edit it.

<jonastext>This is Jonas's dialoge. Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing.Curabitur ultrices urna vel sagittis mattis. Interdum. </jonastext> <gonkdarklordtext>This is the dark lord's text. Morbi aliquam aliquam nibh, vel aliquam magna vestibulum ac. Suspendisse suscipit nulla ante, sed sagittis enim dignissim eu. Duis quis purus vel turpis mollis finibus in nec nibh. </gonkdarklordtext> <gonktext>This is gonk's text. Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing. Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing. Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing.</gonktext> <maxtext>This is the Captain Max's text. Morbi aliquam aliquam nibh, vel aliquam magna vestibulum ac. Suspendisse suscipit nulla ante, sed sagittis enim dignissim eu. Duis quis purus vel turpis mollis finibus in nec nibh.</maxtext> <ednatext>This is Enda's dialoge. Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing.Curabitur ultrices urna vel sagittis mattis. Interdum.</ednatext> <markustext>This is Markus's text. Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing. Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing. Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing.</markustext> <arthurtext>This is the Arthur's text. Morbi aliquam aliquam nibh, vel aliquam magna vestibulum ac. Suspendisse suscipit nulla ante, sed sagittis enim dignissim eu. Duis quis purus vel turpis mollis finibus in nec nibh.</arthurtext> <samtext>This is the Sam's text.Ut mauris neque, malesuada non mattis eu, rhoncus in est. Orci varius natoque penatibus et magnis dis parturient montes, nascetur ridiculus mus. Suspendisse sed tellus nunc.</samtext> <bambitext>This is the Bambi's text. Donec dolor tellus, posuere quis enim ut, vehicula iaculis mi. Curabitur ut dui ac tellus fringilla feugiat vel non sem. Etiam suscipit erat et leo venenatis rhoncus.</bambitext> <elletext>Morbi eu sem maximus, tincidunt ipsum non, semper ligula. Aenean nec massa nec ligula cursus venenatis vitae ut risus.</elletext> <danukitext>This is Dan's text. Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing. Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing. Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing</danukitext> <npctext> danukitext { border-left: 1px solid #ffffff; border-top: 1px solid #ffffff; border-bottom: 1px solid #ffffff; border-right: 6px solid #ffffff; border-radius: 150px 5px 5px 150px; background-color: #0d0d0d; }

What will happen to Jonas Mallory? *Try not to cry! *Be insignificant! *Struggle even more! *Meet the consiquences of your mistakes! *Save the world and die trying Play Jonas Mallory and The Bibliotek of DOOM! Coming Soon! You commited: $OOCD count(unless: $OOCD is "1")[s] of Obstructing an Officer in the course of his duty 3 counts of Bank Fraud 2 counts of Assault 0 counts of Grand Theft Sacramental Weapon 4 counts of Destruction of Public Property 2 counts of Coercion 1 count of Racketeering

(if: $met contains "Dan Uki")[(if: $Inventory contains "Molotov Cocktail Instructions")[](else:)[[[Go talk to Dan|Talk to Dan]]]](else:)[[[Try to see what’ causing the hubbub next to the library|Meet Dan Uki Pamphlets]]](else:)[] (if: $met contains "Angry Mob")[](else:)[[[Join in with the mob and throw some garbage|Throw With Mob]]] (if: $met contains "Angry Lib")[](else:)[[[Enter...**The Library**|Enter Library1]]]

You try to squeeze through the crowd and find it too difficult. Luckily you understand the Goldenportian mind. <jonastext>“Oh no. it’s the cops!”</jonastext> You quickly find the mass of people break apart as people suddenly become very interested in not being an accomplice. As the crowd empties away, you finally see what they were gathering around. (set: $met to it + (array:"Dan Uki")) Dan Uki. [[Dan Dan Dan|Intro to Dan 2]]

It’s Dan Uki, irreverent purveyor of questionable products. Still in his ratty clothes and cornered rat expression. And still can’t tell what the hell he is. He’s got scruffy muttonchops and dark fur around his eyes. He’s obviously got claws, but unlike the orcs and goblins you’ve met, his claws aren't sharp enough to give anyone more than minor bother. And you might have a tail, or his fraying wool jacket is trailing behind him. (display: "Things to say to Dan") (display: "Thereturnkey")

[[What happened?|DanHappen]] [[What’s the scheme now?|DanSelling2]] [[Ask what he is|WhatDan]] [[Look at Dan|Look at Dan]]

It reads: <h1>How to make your own Uki brand Flaming Bottle Bomb.</h1> Step one: Acquire a bottle of flammable liquid Step two: Stuff flammable paper or linen into the neck of the bottle Step three: Light your paper/linen on fire Step four: Throw at target The rest of the paper is blank. You flip it over and a small sticker states: 50$ [[Realy?|Molotov cocktail3]]

{<head> <style> TalkHead {float: left; max-width:50vw; border: #330064 0.8em; border-top-style: groove; border-right-style: ridge; border-bottom-style: ridge; border-left-style: groove; border-radius: 0.5em; align: center;} TalkHeadName {float: left; max-width:50vw; border: #330064 0.8em; border-top-style: groove; border-right-style: ridge; border-bottom-style: ridge; border-left-style: groove; border-radius: 0.5em; align: center;} table#t01 { border: #330064 ridge 0.8em; border-collapse: collapse; }} </style> </head> <body> <div style="float:left;"><table id="t01" style= "max-width:50vw; align: center;"> <th>}<img src="http://placehold.it/450x450" data-raw="" class="" style="max-height: 30vh; height: auto; width: auto; padding-right:5px; padding-bottom:5px;"> {</th> <tr> <th>Jonas Mallory</th> </tr> </table> </div> <div style="float:right;"><table id="t01" style= "max-width:50vw; align: center;"> <th>}<img src="http://placehold.it/450x450" data-raw="" class="" style="max-height: 30vh; height: auto; width: auto; padding-right:5px; padding-bottom:5px;"> {</th> <tr> <th>Dan Uki</th> </tr> </table> </div>}You nod and begin to tuck the pamphlet into your pocket. (set: $Inventory to it + (array: "Molotov Cocktail kit"))<danukitext>“Hold up there, friend.” </danukitext> Dan grabs your arm. <danukitext>“No piece of mind without pay.”</danukitext> <jonastext>“I’m sorry Mister Uki, but I’m keeping this pamphlet as evidence.”</jonastext> <danukitext>“What?”</danukitext> <jonastext>“I’ve been hired by uh...McCartney, Harrison, Lennon and Star to aid them in an upcoming legal case against you on behalf of...Steph Molotov for counterfeiting.”</jonastext> <danukitext>“What? Counterfeiting?”</danukitext> <jonastext>“Oh you thought you could cheat old Molotov out of his cut of sales by not informing him that you were copying his invention. To think off the nights he spent over a hot Buncolater cranking out cocktail after cocktail, until he finally produced the right recipe, just for you to steal food from his children’s mouths.”</jonastext> <danukitext>“What? Flaming bottle bombs have been around since bottle and fire.”</danukitext> <jonastext>“Just because you’ve given them a new name doesn’t mean that my client doesn’t still have a patent. Just admit that you stole the idea from Molotov and we can settle out of court.”</jonastext> <danukitext>“I don’t know no Molotov.”</danukitext> <jonastext>“A HA! A double negative. You’ve just incriminated yourself Mr. Uki. If that even is your real name.”</jonastext> <danukitext>“Look I don’t know what you’re talking about.”</danukitext> A sly look crosses his eyes. <danukitext>“But I don’t want any trouble. How about I get rid of the pamphlets, and you walk away, and I’ll give you something to make up for wasting your time.”</danukitext> <jonastext>“Are you bribing me?”</jonastext> <danukitext>“No, Bribes are generally money. I’ll give you any one of my fine Uki brand products.”</danukitext> <jonastext>“You’re right that isn’t bribery. That’s entrapment. You just want me involved in another one of your counterfeiting schemes.”</jonastext> <danukitext>“Look Jonas, I know you ain’t a lawyer-”</danukitext> <jonastext>“Oh you do, do you? So you accusing me of impersonating a lawyer? That’s a crime and I’m not criminal. I could sue you for libel!”</jonastext> <danukitext>“What? This is stupid!”</danukitext> <jonastext>“A Definition of Character. The class action suits are piling up. Counterfeiting, Libel, probably Jaywalking, operating a business without a license-”</jonastext> <danukitext>“I have a license!” </danukitext> He opens his coat and reveals a piece of paper with the city’s seal on it. <jonastext>“Wasting taxpayer money by having a license when accused of not. Look this could end very poorly for you, Mr. Molotov would be willing to settle out of court if you stop trying to prove that I’m not a lawyer, let me have this pamphlet, and uh...take a bath sometime soon.”</jonastext> <danukitext>“Really?” </danukitext> Dan seems to perk up. <danukitext>“I don’t have to...stop selling them?”</danukitext> <jonastext>“Oh that too. And you gotta gather up all the ones you already sold and destroy them.”</jonastext> <danukitext>“What?”</danukitext> <jonastext>“Yeah, he wants his brand protected. But he’ll pay you for all the hours it takes you to hunt them down.”</jonastext> <danukitext>“Really?”</danukitext> A grin creaks across his face. <jonastext>“Sure, just send the bill to McCartney, Harrison, Lennon, and Starr.”</jonastext> Dan licks his lips and darts off. That was a bit cruel, but You’re still a little mad at Dan for the fountain pen. You pat the pamphlet in your pocket. Behind you, Dan runs up to the group of rioters next to the Clocktower and begins trying to recall the product. (set: $Inventory to it + (array:"Molotov Cocktail Instructions"))[[okthen|Library Courtyard01]]

A shuttered hiss rolls through the streets. As it passes through your body, you can feel you veins flinch. Above you the Deep God stirs. A wave of despair and musky air flows out from the Deep God’s mouth as it yawns. It reaches one of its massive claws out. For a moment, you think it might be reaching for you. But instead, the claw grasps the side of the Clocktower. As It shifts its weight, another hiss rings out shattering all the glass in the vicinity. The Deep God steps off the Library and begins climbing the Clocktower, like a fishy King Kong. Almost exactly like King Kong. From the old movie. Up-close, the Deep Gods movements are unnatural. Like a stop motion puppet, or a low framerate camera, it jerks and twitches into the next position. Like each moment, it is willing the universe to bend to its existence. You’d think that the sudden movement of the Deep God would scare away the rioters throwing the projectiles at the base of the Clocktower. But only a few run, screaming incoherently as they flee. The rest scream incoherently as they redouble their efforts, to no avail. Still the rocks and flaming bottles bounce and break harmlessly on its rubbery flesh. Each time it raises an arm to climb another step, it knocks bricks and tiles from the clocktower. You hope for a moment that the tower will break, and send the creature falling to the ground, where it will shatter or explode or just melt or something. But the tower holds on. You suspect that whatever horrific twisting of reality keeps the Deep God corporeal, is also keeping the tower from falling. In this moment, you must do something to stop it. [[Complain]] [[Tattle]] [[Yell]](set: $met to it + (array: "Deep God Climbs"))

<jonastext>“Just who do you think is going to clean up all of this, mister?”</jonastext> You gesture to the broken glass all around the courtyard. It doesn’t seem to care. [[This ain't good|Library Courtyard01]]

<jonastext>“Excuse me! The clocktower is closed for repairs!”</jonastext> You gesture to the sign, now lightly trampled on the ground. <jonastext>“Thank you for your patience”</jonastext> [[This ain't good|Library Courtyard01]]

<jonastext>“You gotta be fuckin' kidding.”</jonastext> It isn't. [[This ain't good|Library Courtyard01]]

Just as you return to your safespot, the ground starts to rumble. Fearing what new hell is about to drop out of the sky you duck for cover. Realizing you don’t have any cover to duck for, you just generally huddle. Looking around for the source of the rumbling, you notice an influx of people running into the square from Backwash Lane. [[Back away quickly|IntroL1]] [[Get curious|IntroL2]]

Knowing that this can’t be something you’d want to get closer too, you just back away. Unfortunately, walking backwards in the middle of the apocalypse isn’t a great idea either. You slip on a puddle of grease that might have been somebody at some point. Your feet move in opposite directions and you involuntarily to the splits. Reeling from that pain you try and right yourself and fall forward. Towards a pile of horse dung. [[Land in the dung|IntroL1A]] [[Angle away|IntroL1B]]

Curiosity gets the best of you, (Truthfully if you’re probably going to die today, satiating that urge is preferable.) You cautiously approach the corner into Backwash lane. Peaking around the corner and looking past the running citizens you see the commotion. Someone knocked over the stature of What’s-his-face from the city gates and it now is barrelling down the lane towards the square. [[Statue of who?|IntroL2A]] [[Get out of the way|IntroL2B]]

You cover your face with your hands as you fall, and prevent most of the dung from getting in your mouth. You take a moment to regain your barring, you’re already lying in poop, not moving is probably not going to make it worse. Just as you raise your head, a giant statue comes barrelling down Backwash Lane and smashes into a Perfumer’s Shop in front of you. As the window front shatters, bottles of perfume fly through the air and completely miss you shattering on the cobblestones. That’s a shame, you smell like horse poop, but you could have smelled like fancy perfume and horse poop. You wipe the dung from you face and sigh. Then you notice a black sludge beasty standing above you. You see its foot (A cross between a flipper and the goo inside of a clam) step into the puddle of Perfume. It lets out a guttural groan and tries to wipe the perfume from its foot onto the patch of bare ground next to it. It then realizes that patch of bare ground is actually your prone form. It hisses and raises a spiny pseudopod to strike. (set: $met to it + (Array: "Dung")) [[Argh!|L comes in]]

You twist your body in mid-air to miss the dung, instead hitting the hard cobblestones. Maybe you should have landed on the soft thing. In any case, at least you aren’t covered in that smelly stuff. Just then, a giant statue comes barrelling down Backwash Lane and smashes into a Perfumer’s Shop in front of you. As the window front shatters, bottles of perfume fly through the air and land all over you. Some of them shatter, others just pummel you. You are soaked in a multitude of perfumes and glass. Spitting out the scents and gagging, you hear a squish. Glancing over, you see one of the black sludge creatures looming over you. Its foot (A cross between a flipper and the goo inside of a clam) has mushed right into the dung. It lets out a guttural groan and tries to wipe the dung from its foot onto the patch of bare ground next to it. It then realizes that patch of bare ground is actually your prone form. It hisses and raises a spiny pseudopod to strike. (set: $met to it + (Array: "Perfume")) [[Argh!|L comes in]]

Just as the beast is about to strike, a blade seemingly blossoms from its chest. The beastie looks down at the blade as it slides up through its shoulder. Air escapes from whatever facsimile of lungs it has and slumps to the ground. Behind it, L stands holding her sword in one hand and wiping it with her cleaning rag. [[L!|L comes inB]]

You suddenly realize that you can’t remember who the statue was of. Arthur told you once but you can’t remember. If anyone had asked you yesterday who was the statue at the city gates was, you would’ve answered ‘which statue?’ ‘The one near the city gates.’ ‘There’s a statue next to the city gates?’ “Yeah. You know, the one that you thought was a totem pole when you entered the city?” “Are totem poles considered statues?’ “That doesn’t matter, who is that statue of?” “That was a totem pole of, like a badger or something. Right?” “No it was a person. It doesn’t matter, do you remember the name of the person that was a statue of?” “I didn’t even remember there was a statue, but you expect me to remember his name?” “Well Arthur told you his name once when you passed by the statue.” “Well if you know that Arthur knows the name of the statue then why not ask him?” “I’m not asking him I’m asking you.” “Well it seems you’ve wasted your time. You marvel at the fact that even in hypothetical conversations in your head, people still get mad at you for no reason. Anyway, the statue is just about to run you over when you are tackled out of the way. (set: $met to it + (Array: "Hypothetical")) [[Uh oh|L comes in2]]

You dash away from the corner, but find yourself running directly towards the Deep God (if: $met contains "Deep God Climbs")[climbing the Clocktower](else:)[pearched atop the library] The sudden rush of fear makes you instinctively run in stumble away from the monstrosity and towards the rampaging statue. You find yourself stuck between the proverbial Octopus god and out of control monument. You are knocked to the ground by a fleeing citizen and you know you will be your doom. Suddenly a hand grabs you by the front of your jacket and throws you out of the way. The statue rolls passed you and crashes into the stone walls of the Perfumer just at the end of the lane. The wall of overly scented juices has appeared to stop the masonry monster. (set: $met to it + (Array: "Indecision")) [[Uh oh|L comes in2]]

Since you have no idea what else to do, you decide that any action is better than none. You reach down and grab the largest cobblestone that you think you can throw, and head over to the mob next to the clock tower. Approaching the tower door, you turn to see if you can get a clear shot at the monstrosity. You look up at the beast and begin wondering and try to- An elbow hits you square in the nose, as one of the other angry villagers wheels back to throw a flaming bottle. You are knocked to the ground, and your chosen cobblestone lands on your stomach. As the wind is squeezed out of you, you watch the bottle sail through the air and completely miss the creature. <npctext>“The ‘ell mate!”</npctext> the large man, who’s elbow you’ve just been introduced to, barks at you. <npctext>“That was a choice throw before your face mucked it up. Why are you bumping up to me while I’m trying to throw?”</npctext> (set: $met to it + (array: "Angry Mob")) [[Give it up|Throw With Mob1]] [[Ask for a turn|Throw With Mob2]]

Deciding to cut your losses, you knock the rock off your chest. <jonastext>“Sorry I so rudely head-butted your arm and got my nose blood on your sleeve.”</jonastext> The large man flicks his fingers under his top lip. You don’t need anything but context cues to understand. You get to your feet and return to your safe spot. [[Oh well|Move along1]]

You knock the rock from your chest and stand. “Can I have a shot?” <npctext>“Can’t you see the queue?”</npctext> <jonastext>“Huh?”</jonastext> <npctext>“Get in line, ya bastard.”</npctext> You look at the mob. There isn’t anything resembling a line. Maybe a scribble, but definitely no line. <jonastext>“What line?”</jonastext> <npctext>“There’s an implied line.”</npctext> <jonastext>“Well, where’s the end?”</jonastext> <npctext>“What do I look like: Professor of Sequential Action and Social Linear Enumeration with a PhD in Traditional Urban RitualCcoordinational Studies?”</npctext> <jonastext>“Uh...no.”</jonastext> He pokes you with a meaty finger. <npctext>“Wherever the back of the line is, you’re it.”</npctext> You usually like to wait in line. But without a proper line, you don't feel like you'll ever move up the queue. You return to your safe spot [[Maybe if they got one of those ticket machines|Move along1]]

{(if: $met contains "Elle Statue")[ (if: $met contains "Deep God Climbs")[(display: "Library Courtyard01")](else:)[(display: "The Deep God begins climbing")]](else:)[(if: $met contains "Deep God Climbs")[(display: "Elle intro Statue")] ]}(if: $Endnye is true)[](else:)[(set: $Endnye to true)(set: $pick1 to (either: "Elle", "DeepGod"))(if: $pick1 contains "Elle")[(display: "Elle intro Statue")](if: $pick1 contains "DeepGod")[(display: "The Deep God begins climbing")]]

You approach the Library door and grab a handle. It won't budge. Suddenly a spear jabs out of a hole at eye height, just barely sliding over your ear. You jump back and fall to the ground. A series of spears jab out of a series of knotholes all across the door. The dance of the angry porcupine subsides after a moment. As you stand you notice a pair of bodies to either side of the door. What you assumed to be the normal detritus of the city, turns out to be a pair of slowly melting Sludge monster bodies. They obviously tried to enter the library as well. (set: $met to it + (array: "Angry Lib")) [[Knock on the door|Enter Library2]]

You give the door three sound knocks and dodge another barrage of spear stabbings. <jonastext>“Hey, is that how you treat all potential customers?”</jonastext> <npctext>“Everyone that’s been trying to get in lately.”</npctext> <jonastext>“I’m not one of these monsters. Remember me from this morning? Can I come in?”</jonastext> <npctext>“I’m sorry. No non-members will be allowed in the library, until the current crisis is over.” </npctext> <jonastext>“But I’m a member.”</jonastext> <npctext>“Additionally, no members will be allowed in the library, until the current crisis is over.”</npctext> <jonastext>“Why didn’t you just say that no one is allowed in?”</jonastext> <npctext>“Because the last two people I told that, tried to claw through the door regardless.”</npctext> [[Demand entry|Enter Library2A]] [[Blame for apocalypse|Enter Library2B]] [[Give up on literacy|Enter Library2C]]

<jonastext>“I demand that you let me in!”</jonastext> <npctext>“No.”</npctext> <jonastext>“Open these doors!”</jonastext> <npctext>“No.”</npctext> <jonastext>“Come on! I’m a patron of the...bookness?”</jonastext> <npctext>“No.”</npctext> <jonastext>“I’m not leaving until you relent.”</jonastext> <npctext>“I still have the spear.”</npctext> You step away. <jonastext>“Fair enough”</jonastext> [[Return to your safespot|Move along1]]

<jonastext>“Your damn book caused the apocalypse!”</jonastext> <npctext>“Any misuse of Library property is the responsibility of the issuer and not of the library. The Goldenport Royal Library isn’t responsible for any apocalypse related damages. It says so in the membership agreement.”</npctext> <jonastext>“No it doesn’t.”</jonastext> <npctext>“It also says so on the back of your library card.”</npctext> You flip your card over. <jonastext>“Well, I’ll be damned.”</jonastext> <npctext>“If this apocalypse sticks, most likely.”</npctext> [[Return to your safespot|Move along1]]

What has reading ever done for you? You decide to give up on this whole literacy scam. Besides if everyone’s gonna be dead tomorrow, then why bother remaining literate. [[Yeah!|Give up on Lit1]]

Yeah, maybe this whole endeavor would be more difficult without proper communication.

Disculpas a los jugadores bilingües. Esta sección está llena de malas traducciones y errores de pronunciación. No soy un hombre inteligente. und methodisch Klopfen Völker Hut ab. Dann Konto ich es höchste Zeit, auf das Meer zu bekommen, so bald wie möglich. 한국 팬에 죄송합니다 우리는 한국어로 임의의 일을 얘기하고,하지만 누군가가 그래서 난 그냥에이 한국어로 말을 나에게 물었다. Ich bin nur ein armer Junge. niemand liebt mich. [[What?|Give up on Lit2]]

Kom deg til helvete bort fra at ting. Det er ikke en hund, det er en slags ting! Det imiterer en hund, er det ikke ekte! KOM DEG BORT! Du idioter! 最後に、あなたの靴を投げてみてください。あなたがあなたの足の上に置いていなかったと仮定。 [[Maybe we shouldn’t give up on literacy after all|Give up on Lit4]]

Yeah, maybe this whole endeavor would be more difficult without proper communication. Anyway, you return back to your safespot. [[I'm glad I can read this|Move along1]]

[[Greet|Greet Gonk]](unless: (history:) contains "Hero2" + "Dark Lord?")[ [[Ask Gonk why he hit you]] ] [[Ask Gonk about Altar]] [[Ask Gonk About Bulletin Board]] (display: "Thereturnkey")

The Deep God lets out another rolling cry. A blinding pain skitters across your brain. (if: $Inventory contains "Book")[ You hear a mirrored cry coming from your person. You pull out the book and it cries again. The book flies open and pages flash past. You try and slam it shut but your arms won’t respond. Around you all the spilled blood flies from the ground and from walls and into the book. On the page, a new horrifying drawing is inked. The black blood of the sludgies forms a clear depiction of the Deep God climbing a mountain. At the top of the mountain, the red blood of your fellow mortals forms a rift, a crimson slice. And from the rift, pitch-black tentacles writhe. ](else:)[ The screech sears an image in your mind. Of a tentacle reaching into a red light and pulling something through. Looking up you see a coalition of red light above the clocktower, where the Dee God climbs. ] The winds pick up and thunder rolls across the sky. The black sludge beasties seem emboldened by the turn of events and double their efforts. Coming out of buildings and from the sewers to attack what’s left of the survivors. <jonastext>“L! I think whatever’s gonna happen will happen when that thing gets to the top of that tower.” You yell. </jonastext> But she is too busy keeping the escape route clear of beasties to hear. At the base of the tower what’s left of the mob falls to the ground clutching their heads in pain. Dan scurries away on all fours screaming <danukitext>“I’ll send your refund in the mail.”</danukitext> Another crack of thunder, no lightning no flash, just an all present boom, knocks you against the wall of the library. As you rub your aching backside you notice a clear path, two actually. One leads straight to the doors of the tower which bang open of their own accord when you look at them, the other leads to the city gates. <jonastext>“L!” you call out again.</jonastext> But she cannot hear you You stand at the crossroads. [[Leave|Decision wrong]] [[Up the long tower|Decision right]]

(display: "Library Courtyard actions")

You swallow your fear. No one else seems to be interested in trying to stop this madness at its source. The smell of blood and fish is overwhelming as you near the tower. The door hangs open and a yearning black awaits within. [[Here goes nothing|LConfronts]]

There’s nothing you can do. (set: $TryRun to true) You aren’t capable of making a difference. You turn back to look at L, valiantly stabbing beasties in the face. Before you can say anything, another squeal rings out, and you run. [[And so it goes|Decision wrong1]]

The path cleared by the statue is fairly easy to travel, occasionally you must dodge a beastie jumping out from the shadows. But the attacks are fewer as you near the city gates. Outside the city the destruction is less evident. Beasties that get out of the city have little idea what to do and seem to just return to the uniformity of the buildings. In the muddy and manure rich fields near Goldenport, the trail of the refugees leads off into the hills to the north. A few miles out, you look back for the first time. The end is near. Buildings ablaze and an unearthly glow near the city center. Squinting you can make out what might be the Deep God. Still on top of the tower. Purple veins streak across the sky and come to a point just above the tower. Your fear deepens looking at the terror, so you turn away and continue with the refugees. Eventually, you cannot see the city anymore. [[Just keep moving|Decision wrong2]]

A few days later you make it to New Dotash. The city officials aren’t allowing any more refugees in. So you just find a dryish place outside the city gates to sleep for the night. Over the next few weeks, you feed yourself from the charitable soup kitchens set up by the Church of the Mighty Ron. Listening to sermons every day as you eat, you wonder what the hell these priests will have to say when the Deep God is finished with Goldenport and makes its way up here. After a fight between refugees gets a bit out of control, you are thoroughly pummeled by a New Dotash guard trying to quell a potential riot. You are beaten so badly; you are presumed dead. You get thrown onto the pile with all the other corpses and eventually wake up in a medical school, moments before they were going to demonstrate an autopsy on you. Most of the students flee the operating room when you sit up and ask for a glass of water, but the teach is made of harder stuff He insists that you lie back down and when you leave he calls the city watch accusing you of steeling medical school property (Namely, your own corpse). [[Oh boy|Decisiom wrong3]]

This situation is too complicated for City watch officers to resolve, so it eventually goes all the way to the New Dotash Superior Court. There it is found that the medical school was illegally buying refugee corpses. So legally, they never actually owned your corpse. Unfortunately, that means that when your body was thrown on the pile, you were technically guilty of littering, and are fined 20 Lorps. After you argue that you don’t have any money and you don’t know what a Lorp is, you are charged with arguing with a judge and are sentenced to 20 years’ hard labor. [[That seems harsh|Decision wrong3]]

When they retrieve you from the jail and cart you off to the labor camp, they find you to be the worst worker they’ve ever had. You break every tool they give you, and when they put you on the chain gang, you manage to get the whole chain tangled in a passing oxcart wheel. No matter how hard they beat you, you cause nothing but grief for the camp. After the Warden watches you for a few days, he determines that you aren’t obstinate, you are just terrible. And after determining that forcing you to work makes all the other prisoners less efficient, they transfer you to another work camp. After being bumped from three more work camps, word spreads to the next camp before your arrival. The warden there made a special request to the king of New Dotash to pardon you, citing “Living 20 years as you is punishment enough. [[And so on|Decision wrong4]]

Just as you are returning to New Dotash, you hear the news. A group of adventurers managed to infiltrate Goldenport and slay the Deep God. You join the first group of refugees returning to Goldenport. You hope to find out what happened to all the people you left behind, but as you enter the city you hope you don’t find out. The city was reshaped to fit the Deep God’s whims: Temples made from carbonized corpses, A blood fountain outside the Oligarch’s palace, A throne made of kneecaps, everywhere you turn you find horrific abominations made from the bodies of the dead, and sometimes the living. You spend a few weeks working on the cleanup crew, and luckily never find someone you knew. Once you think you see Sam Ravenoir, wearing a dark cloak and a grim expression, buying boots from one of the salvage crews, but when you get a closer look, it was just a lamppost with duffle bag of eyeballs hanging from it. [[You're not sure if you are realived|Decision wrong5]]

After about a month working on the cleanup crew, they start to notice that you suck. But before you can get fired, you are shanghaied by some pirates. There they force you to help the ship’s cook, because he only has one leg. After you mix up the laundry pot and the stew pot and feed them all their own socks, they throw you overboard and you wash ashore near Drahk’Monica. Over the next few years you wonder around the Loparian Continent taking whatever odd job you can find: iron maiden tester, Sideshow freak “the amazingly poorly dressed man”, flower arranger, etc. You even invent moonwalking when you mix up the crate for shoe soles and banana peels at the boot factory. [[Just keep moving|Decision wrong6]]

Years later, you are laid up in a seaside shack, having contracted dysentery from an improperly cooked bowl of shrimp chowder. The Old woman that took you in wipes your face with a wet rag and sneers at you moans of agony. <npctext>“The world is a machine, shovel garbage in, get garbage out.” </npctext> She parts her lips and reveals a row of blacked teeth. <npctext>“This is what you get Jonas, dying in a shack while the Sivadian forces bear down upon us.” </npctext> She clicks her tongue and returns to her kettle. Before you can notice that you never told her your name, your intestines cry out. As your guts quietly go to war with themselves, you squirm on this pile of straw and turn to the wall- and then

Another crack of thunder, no lightning no flash, just an all present boom, knocks you against the wall of the library. As you rub your aching backside you notice a clear path, two actually. One leads straight to the doors of the tower which bang open of their own accord when you look at them, the other leads to the city gates. <jonastext>“L!” you call out again.</jonastext> But she cannot hear you You stand at the crossroads. [[Leave|Decision wrong]] [[Up the long tower|Decision right]]

This table looks sad with nothing on it. You wonder, is a table really a table if it isn't in use as a table? Without its use as a table, it's just a flat surface. Is an object defined by its purpose? Is a person defined by its purpose? Nah, that's stupid. It's still a table. You've seen plenty of empty tables to recognize a table. (display: "CultistAttic")

You wave at the horror. <jonastext>"hey Teriyaki! Over here!</jonastext> It doesn't seem to notice you. [[Back|Move along1]]

Now that you know that the fountain lacks any real change, sticking you hand in a giant pool of public water that people problably bathe in, seems like a bad idea. And right now a couple of people are fighting a sludge monster in it. So extra grimy. [[Back|Move along1]]

You flip Dan the bird. He gives you the frog. You didn't even know that hand gesture. [[Back|Move along1]]

(display: "Thereturnkey")

Staring into the face of an unimaginable creature of pure power and alien nature? ok if you want to. You look up at the Deep God. That horror from the depths of space. a mere reflection of the whole, this puppet of flesh. Made to walk upon your feeble world. Its magnificence is terrible. it does not need to profess, or coddle, or dilude itself. It is truth. You are less than nothing. you are the fragment of a whisper. your life is less than meaningless. Looking into the Deep God your soul is striped away. leaving nothing but the core of your being. [[Oh no|eyes on deeplib 2]]

The waters of the fountain are becoming increasingly dirty as the pair of men fight the sludge beastie in it. After watching them fight for a few minutes more, you notice that they aren't making much progress. They are mostly just battering it back and forth, in a predictable pattern. Luckily for them, the beast doesn't seem to be able to alter its own pattern of attack. It just leaps at one, get hit, then leaps at the other. The taller of the two has long blonde hair, and keeps making "ha HA!" noises as he stabs. The shorter, a darkskined burly man in chainmail, stops to flip his hammer in between strikes. [[Uh...|Ask about FountainFight]] [[Back|Move along1]]

(display: "Thereturnkey")

<jonastext>"Hey you giant kalamari! Get the hell out of my Physical realm!"</jonastext> It doesn't seem to care. (display: "Thereturnkey")

The waters of the fountain wouldn't be potable even on the best day. Even less so when that day is doomsday. (display: "Thereturnkey")

(display: "Thereturnkey")

The wide street in front of the Royal Riches Casino hotel has become a sort of ‘safezone’ for the citizens of Goldenport to gather and fight the endless horde of nightmare creatures. All the streets and alleyways out have been barricaded. Near the large bulk of the Royal Riches steps, a group of people seem to be waiting for medical aid. (if: $met contains "Arthur")[Arthur is tending to their wounds as fast as he can.](else:)[A figure in a grey robe is tending to their wounds.] (if: $met contains "Godzilla")[ Far in the distance, you can see the shadow of the Deep God moving through the city. With each step, the ground shakes.] (if: $met contains "Charlie")[ Charlie stands out in front of the Royal Riches, bashing the monsters with her hammers.] All this barricading would seem to be moot, the creatures fall from the sky after all, if it weren’t for the group of large burly men carrying all manner of makeshift weapon charging at any forming creature. The Group surrounds the creatures, beat them senseless and tosses them over the nearest barricade. (if: $met contains "Wayout")[ [[Well, there's nothing else to do but try to save the world yourself|LastTeaser]] ](if: $inroom contains "Arthur")[[[Go talk to Arthur|Approach Arthur]]](else:)[[[Aproach figure giving first aid|Approach Arthur]]] [[Approach Markus]] (if: $inroom contains "Charlie")[[[Approach Charlie|Approach Charlie]]] (display: "DoStuff")

You yell a few choice cursewords at Markus. <markustext>"Try all you might, you can't use magic."</markustext> <jonastext>"I wasn't trying to curse you, I was just insulting you."</jonastext> <markustext>"Well then. Fuck you."</markustext> (display: "Thereturnkey")

You start chanting, in the hopes that they will join in. <jonastext>"What do we want? The Apocalypse to end. When do we want it? Before the world ends!"</jonastext> But the rioters don't seem to want to join in. Lets face it Jonas, you'd make a terrible Dictator. (display: "Thereturnkey")

Although the Goop does look sort of tasty, like lava or those super poisonous frogs, you have just about the same ammount of desire to eat it. (display: "Thereturnkey")

<jonastext>"Hey Charlie! Can I crash at your place tonight? You know, assuming the world doesn't end today."</jonastext> Between bashes, Charlie looks you in the eye and nods. <jonastext>"Thanks!"</jonastext> (display: "Thereturnkey")

<jonastext>"Yo doc. What would you suggest I do about my teeth?"</jonastext> Arthur glances up. <arthurtext>"Brush them."</arthurtext> (display: "Thereturnkey")

It's Markus Kotaro. Wizard of the Chromatic Order. Wearer of audacious robes. He stands to about your waist and has no facial hair to speak of. So it isn't your fault you though he was a child when you met. He's covered in purple and magenta robes and has a pointed hat. Like any good wizard. Not that he is a good wizard. Tucked in his belt is the gnarled club he calls a staff. He still kneecaps people with it from time to time. (display: "Thereturnkey")

A basic scan of the rioters tells you three things: 1. There are too many readly avalible weapons sitting around in Goldenport. 2. Goldenportians are great at rioting. 3. There are enitrely too many well armed children in Goldenport. (display: "Thereturnkey")

This pile of goop indefinable. It apears to be black. but from some angles it apears multicolored. Like the rainbow you get off of a oilslick sometimes. It's either just generally wobbling. Or it has a rhythm all its own. You assume it came off of one of the sludgies. or is a really tiny one. or something. But come to think of it, you see all fkinds of filth in the town. It could be completely unrelated. You can't remember if it was here earlier in the day. (display: "Thereturnkey")

Charlie is rather graceful for someone swinging to different sized hammers around. She spins inerringly. She smacks the beasties as they get close, then shifts her body away at the right moment to prevent the splatter from getting on her clothes. (display: "Thereturnkey")

Arthur is in his standerd grey loosefitting clothes. He has wrapped a cloth across his mouth as he attends to the wounded. He is currently wearing his Mighty Ron holy symbol. but under his shirt you can hear the clink of his other rosaries. (display: "Thereturnkey")

You make a gesture to Markus and mine the general motions of Pattycake to him. He repetes the motion to you. a bolt of electricity leaps from his hands into your arms, throwing you to the ground. <jonastext>"the hell man?"</jonastext> <markustext>"You were giving me the international symbol for 'electricute me'. What did you expect?"</markustext> <jonastext>"There's a hand gesture that means eletricute me?"</jonastext> <markustext>"Yeah. It's the same gesture that wizards use to eletricute people."</markustext> He scratches his chin. <markustext>"That has lead to some confusion over the years."</markustext> You shake the feeling back into your hands. (display: "Thereturnkey")

You pick up a half brick from the ground and joni the rioters. You aren't the best at rioting. And when you do see an opening to throw the brick, you hit the rioter in front of you. He turns around and slugs the rioter next to him. He slugs right back. You step away from the riot as it gets a little more selfdestructive than before. (display: "Thereturnkey")

The pile of goop doesn't look like the kind of goop one should touch. True, you are having trouble thinking of what a pile of goop one should touch looks like. But you are certain this isn't it. (display: "Thereturnkey")

You want to 'touch' charlie? That's such a broad term. What exacly did you have in mind when you saw "touch Charlie" and thought "I should do that"? Nevermind, I don't want to know. Regaurdless, You can't touch charlie, she's too busy. And in case you think to try again later, I'm taking away the option. Pervert.(set: $TouchCharlie to true) (display: "Thereturnkey")

Double-click this passage to edit it.

You roll up your sleaves. <jonastext>"Doctor Monroe. 20 ccs of appendectomy, STAT!"</jonastext> <arthurtext>"Please don't touch the patients with your filthy hands."</arthurtext> You look at your hands. <jonastext>"They aren't //that// filthy."</jonastext> Arthur shoos you away. (display: "Thereturnkey")

(display: "Intro to Sam")

<img src="https://i.imgur.com/jrz752f.gif" alt="" width= "auto"height="auto"> [[ALL HAIL TRACTCHICLITLILTHCBKLTPH|Eyes on deeplib 3]]

The entirety of your being is being stripped away. you are but a piece of its glory. Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Tractchiclitlilthcbkltph K'lopra wgah'nagl fhtagn. Ranak, hai y-ua ch' ooboshu k'yarnak tk y'hah, mg shogg ph'k'yarnak syha'hnyth orr'e. 'bthnk uln vulgtm ebunma nog nglw'nafh gebor, naflftaghu Tractchiclitlilthcbkltph hupadgh llll, fhtagn y-ooboshu shtunggli grah'n. Ebab a Deebob Cotten-eye Joe I been married long time ago where did you come from? where did you go? where did you come from Cotton-eyed Joe? Ebab a Deebob Cotten-eye Joe I been married long time ago where did you come from? where did you go? where did you come from Cotton-eyed Joe? Ebab a Deebob Cotten-eye Joe I been married long time ago where did you come from? where did you go? where did you come from Cotton-eyed Joe? [[Is it Cotten-eye or Cotton-eyed|Eyes on Deeplib 4]]

You find yourself still standing in front of the library, staring at the Deep God, with 90s euro-pop techno ringing in your head. The maddness that threatened to take you has left. Perhaps as a form of protest. <jonastext>"Wait a minute. When my soul was stripped away, all that was left was a half remembered lyric from Cotton-eyed joe?" "That's pathetic."</jonastext> You look away from the Deep God and try to shake the earworm from your head. (display: "Thereturnkey")

<jonastext>"Uh...why don't you just finish it off?"</jonastext> They don't seem to notice you. [[Get their attention|Ask about FountainFight2]] (display: "Thereturnkey")

You whistle as loud as you can. But they don't notice. you grab some of the coin shaped rocks from the fountain and throw them at the blonde man. You miss by country mile and strike the beastie. This gets the beast's attention. and instead of repeting the pattern of attack, it turns to leap on you. Just before it can, the pair both strike it in the back. It falls into the water and begins leaking black gunk into the filthy fountain. <npctext>"Not cool man."</npctext> says the blonde. <npctext>"We totally had dibs on that one."</npctext> <jonastext>"Uh...sorry?"</jonastext> <npctext>"Rude."</npctext> says the burly one. <jonastext>"I was just wondering why you weren't finishing it off?"</jonastext> <npctext>"That's not very impressive."</npctext> says the blonde. <npctext>"Yeah,"</npctext> Chimes in the burly one. <npctext>"How are you supposed to catch the eye of a recruiter?"</npctext> <jonastext>"Recruiter?"</jonastext> <npctext>"For an adventuring guild,"</npctext> says the blonde. <npctext>"It was Bjorn's turn for the kill, but he couldn't think of a good quip."</npctext> <npctext>"I used up all my good Sludge puns on the last three. These monsters are all so similar."</npctext> <npctext>"I had a good Shelfish pun, but this one didn't look much like a crab."</npctext> [[ok then|Ask about FountainFight3]]

as you begin to back away from the mad duo, they begin to lure another beastie into the fountain. by the time you return to your safespot, they have returned to their battering routine. [[Back|Move along1]]

The Deep God continues its slow climb up the Clocktower. With the mob of people cleared away from the base, the entrance is clear. You swallow hard and shake the feeling back into your fingers. It’s now or never. You step towards the tower. <elletext>“Just where do you think you’re going?”</elletext> L dispatches another beastie and turns to glare at you. “Uh… nowhere.” <elletext>“Don’t lie to me Jonas Mallory. It isn’t your strong suit.”</elletext> She squares her jaw and seizes your arm. <elletext>“You were going to climb that tower for some stupid reason.”</elletext> “You don’t know that it’s stupid,” You lie. “I can make my own decisions and they’re sometimes well thought out.” L sighs through her nose. <elletext>“Jonas why in gods’ names would you go up that tower? You’ll just get yourself killed.”</elletext> You open your mouth in protest, ready to bite back and claim to have a good reason to climb it. But then you realize that you don’t. [[You really don't|LConfronts2]]

Sure, you have several possible reasons to: If the world is still around tomorrow, you still need the receipt or else Sam will kill you and that monster might have/know where it is, you think you might be able to annoy the Deep God into leaving, nobody else seems to be doing anything about this squid god thingy leaving the responsibility on you. (if: $TryRun is true)[ and you vaguely feel like you should, but these thoughts aren’t fully formed, and come bundled with a queasy shrimp taste in your mouth for some reason.] And while all of these are reasons, none of them are very good. In fact, they are easily outweighed by the reasons not to. But you’ve decided that you’ll climb that tower and confront that Deep God. So that’s what you will do. <jonastext>“I’m going up that tower, and there isn’t anything you can do to stop me.”</jonastext> Her ironclad grip tells you that she can. <elletext>“I made a pact with Lord Ravenoir. It’s my duty to prevent undue harm from befalling you Jonas.”</elletext> <jonastext>“You’re hurting me.”</jonastext> <elletext>“//Undue// harm, Jonas.”</elletext> She holds you in place with one hand, and continues to fight off the sludge beasties with the other. [[Gotta think of something|LConfrontsBase]]

L's iron clad grip holds you in place. You've got to get to that tower, somehow.(if: $LConfPunch is 1)[ Your nose is bloody and your eye is brusied.](if: $LConfPunch is 2)[ You are all kinds of beat up.] (if: $ElleAnnoy is >2)[(set: $ElleAnnoy to 2)] (if: $LConfPunch is 1)[ [[Keep Punching yourself|LconfPun]] ](if: $LConfPunch is 2)[ [[Adsolutley Pummel yourself|LconfPun]] ] [[Greet|LConfGreet]] [[Distract|LConfDist]](if: $LConfPunch is 0)[ [[Punch|LconfPun]]](else:)[]

(set: $ElleAnnoy to it + 1)(if: $ElleAnnoy is >2)[(set: $ElleAnnoy to 3)] (if: $ElleAnnoy is 3)[{ }<jonastext>“Hi L”</jonastext> <elletext>“Damn it Jonas!”</elletext> She stabs the beast she is currently fighting and turns to you. <elletext>“What’s wrong with you? Can’t you see that I’m busy?”</elletext> <jonastext>“Hi L”</jonastext> She sighs and rubs the bridge of her nose. Realizing she has let go of your hand to do this, you push away from her and run towards the tower. <elletext>“Jonas!”</elletext> She screams and grabs for your hand. But just before she can lock her hand around yours, another beasty takes a swing at her, and you move out of her reach. <jonastext>“Sorry, L. This is something I gotta do. Try to get out of the city before anything worse happens.”</jonastext> [[Up the long tower|Up the tower]]](else:)[{ }(if: $LConfGreet is 1)[<jonastext>“Hi L.”</jonastext> <elletext>“I told you not to call me that. If you can’t be bothered to use my name, don’t even try.”</elletext>(set: $ElleAnnoy to it + 1)(if: $ElleAnnoy is >2)[(set: $ElleAnnoy to 3)] [[Back|LConfBacktobase]]](if: $LConfGreet is 0)[<jonastext>“Hi L.”</jonastext> <elletext>“What, Jonas?”</elletext> <jonastext>“Just hi.”</jonastext>(set: $LConfGreet to it + 1)(set: $ElleAnnoy to it + 1)(if: $ElleAnnoy is >2)[(set: $ElleAnnoy to 3)] She grumbles. [[Back|LConfBacktobase]]]]

(set: $HoldNumber to (random: 1, $LConfDist's length))(display: $LConfDist's $HoldNumber)

(if: $LConfPunch is 2)[(display: "Punch3")](if: $LConfPunch is 1)[(display: "Punch2")](if: $LConfPunch is 0)[(display: "Punch1")]

(display:"LConfrontsBase")

(set: $HoldNumber to (random: 1, $LConfDist's length)) (display: $LConfDist's $HoldNumber)(set: $LConfDist to it - (array: $LConfDist's $HoldNumber)) (print: $LConfDist) [[Try it now]]

(set: $LConfDist to it - (array: $LConfDist's $HoldNumber))<jonastext>“Look there! A three headed monkey!”</jonastext> You try to point behind L. You realize too late that she's already facing the diretion you are pointing. <jonastext>“I mean, There!”</jonastext> You thrust your hand in a random direction. <jonastext>“A three headed monkey!”</jonastext> (set: $ElleAnnoy to it + 1)(if: $ElleAnnoy is >2)[(set: $ElleAnnoy to 3)] (if: $ElleAnnoy is 3)[(display:"LConfLast")](else:)[<elletext>“Jonas, Stop that!”</elletext> She turns her attention back to the Beasties. [[Back|LConfBacktobase]]]

(set: $LConfDist to it - (array: $LConfDist's $HoldNumber))<jonastext>“Oh look, here comes Sam.”</jonastext> You clear your throat and do your best Sam Ravenoir impression. That is to say, you do a bad Sam Ravenoir impression. <jonastext>“Hey there L. It tis me, Sam ur boss. I want you to let go of Jonas and let him go on his way. And you have to do it because of are pact or whatever. And don’t turn around to conferm it tis me, if’n you do, I’ll be hiding out of site because uv a ave a big ol’ pimple.”</jonastext> <elletext>“Jonas,”</elletext> L doesn’t even bother turning around, <elletext>“You are the stupidest man I’ve ever met.”</elletext> <jonastext>“Don’t call Jonas that. He’s my beast friend.”</jonastext> <elletext>“Why would Sam misspell basic words?”</elletext> <jonastext>“That’s his accent.”</jonastext> (set: $ElleAnnoy to it + 1)(if: $ElleAnnoy is >2)[(set: $ElleAnnoy to 3)] (if: $ElleAnnoy is 3)[(display:"LConfLast")](else:)[She mutters something in Elvish, presumably curses, and returns to fighting the beasties. [[Back|LConfBacktobase]]]

(set: $LConfDist to it - (array: $LConfDist's $HoldNumber))<jonastext>“L? How do you spell your name?”</jonastext> <elletext>“You need to know that, why?”</elletext> You shrug. <jonastext>“You’re always getting mad at me for saying ‘L’ instead of whatever your name really is. So if you told me how to spell it, I would have a better time remembering it.”</jonastext> <elletext>“This isn’t the best time to be asking stupid questions, Jonas”</elletext> She stabs a particularly wriggly beastie, letting the feelers flop around on the ground. <jonastext>“You’re holding me here, I got nothing better to do.”</jonastext> You tap your lip with your free hand. <jonastext>“I’m guessing E L L E. Elle, right?”</jonastext> She grumbles. <elletext>“Fine!”</elletext> <elletext>“It’s Ech Ilso, Upper Liem, Lower Liem, Eth, I’nswarm, Thiest, Lod, Thu, Isteli.”</elletext> You shake your head. <jonastext>“Those aren’t letters.”</jonastext> <elletext>“They are Elvish Letters.”</elletext> <jonastext>“I don’t know Elvish.”</jonastext> You scratch your cheek. <jonastext>“Can you give it to me in English Letters.”</jonastext> <elletext>“I do not know what they are.”</elletext> <jonastext>“Just choose the English letters that sound right”</jonastext> <elletext>“I don’t know what English is.”</elletext> <jonastext>“It’s what we’re speaking.”</jonastext> <elletext>“We’re speaking Monican, you moron.”</elletext> <jonastext>“Where I come from, we call it English.”</jonastext> <elletext>“How would I know whatever stupid word you use in that moronic backwater realm you come from?”</elletext> She slices the head off another beastie and turns to you. <elletext>“Why would you assume that we have the same words for things here? You are by far the most idiotic, simple minded, moronic-"</elletext> <jonastext>“Don’t use moronic again, you’ve used it too many times in the last couple of sentences, it’s losing its pizazz.”</jonastext> <elletext>“Jonas, I don’t have time to deal with your moronic eccentricities.”</elletext> <jonastext>“You used it again.”</jonastext>(set: $ElleAnnoy to it + 1)(if: $ElleAnnoy is >3)[(set: $ElleAnnoy to 3)] (if: $ElleAnnoy is 2)[(display:"LConfLast")](else:)[She mutters something in Elvish, presumably curses, and returns to fighting the beasties. [[Back|LConfBacktobase]]]

L angrily squeezes your arm and you scream out in pain. <jonastext>“You broke my arm!”</jonastext> <elletext>“I barely squeezed it.”</elletext> <jonastext>“I have very sensitive bones.”</jonastext> <elletext>“If I wanted to break your arm, it would be undoubtedly broken.”</elletext> <jonastext>“I can feel the bone poking out. Look!”</jonastext> You hold your arm up for her to examine. <elletext>“There isn’t anything there, Jonas.”</elletext> <jonastext>“Under your hand.”</jonastext> She lets go of your arm. <elletext>“See nothing.”</elletext> <jonastext>“No on this side.”</jonastext> You flip your hand around. Then flip her the bird and run. <elletext>“Jonas!”</elletext> She screams and grabs for your hand. But just before she can lock her hand around yours, another beasty takes a swing at her, and you move out of her reach. <jonastext>“Sorry, L. This is something I gotta do. Try to get out of the city before anything worse happens.”</jonastext> [[Up the long tower|Up the tower]]

You aren’t one for violence under most circumstances, but you have no other choice. Other than the other two choices you were just presented with. You ball up your free hand into a fist and try to decide where to strike. If you hit her arm, just at the elbow, your fist will likely ricochet and hit you in the eye. A thousand Steven Seagal films have told you to go for the balls, but since she doesn’t have those, you could go for the eyes, they are also balls. But if you swing for her head, where all her sensory organs are, she’ll see/hear/smell it from a mile away and duck, leaving you to flop over her shoulders like a damsel in distress. And she’ll likely use this opportunity to wrap your leg into a lock and keep you there, like some sort of game animal, until she finishes this unending fight. Punching her washboard abs will just break your hand, and punching her boob will just make her angry(er) Well, as long as you are attached to her, you might as well go for the weak link in this chain. You wheel back and punch yourself in the face. <elletext>“What the hell are you doing?”</elletext> <jonastext>“Punching myself in the face. You are kinda dim sometimes.”</jonastext> You pull back your arm and wheel back for a second hit. She lets go of your left hand and grabs your right. <elletext>“Stop playing the fool."</elletext>(set: $LConfPunch to 1)(set: $ElleAnnoy to it + 1)(if: $ElleAnnoy is >2)[(set: $ElleAnnoy to 2)] [[Back|LConfBacktobase]]

You ball up your left hand and punch yourself in the face again, this time your eye. You’d be the first to admit that you don’t have the strongest swing in the world, but it still really hurts. Which says more for the weakness of your face than the strength of your fist. <elletext>“Jonas, are you deranged?”</elletext> <jonastext>“That’s a question that I ask sometimes. Other questions I ask are, ‘What will I look like with two black eyes?’”</jonastext> You position your face in a more advantageous angle to get your other eye. But she lets go of your right hand to grab your left.(set: $LConfPunch to 2)(set: $ElleAnnoy to it + 1)(if: $ElleAnnoy is >2)[(set: $ElleAnnoy to 2)] [[Back|LConfBacktobase]]

You prepare this time. <jonastext>“You know, after all these years I wonder, what does a knuckle sandwich taste like?”</jonastext> You punch yourself squarely in the mouth. As well as splitting your lip you also cut your finger on your teeth. <jonastext>“Frankly L,”</jonastext> You spit the blood away from your mouth. <jonastext>“You are a pretty terrible bodyguard. You have completely separated your asset from all attackers, and yet he still gets hit repeatedly in the face.”</jonastext> You bash yourself in the nose and feel the blood begin to pour across your lips. <jonastext>“It’s no surprise that you were ejected from the army with this track record.”</jonastext> She once again let’s go of your left hand to grab your right, but you are ready for this move. You pull your both your arms away and begin running toward the tower. <elletext>“Jonas!”</elletext> She screams and grabs for your hand. But just before she can lock her hand around yours, another beasty takes a swing at her, and you move out of her reach. <jonastext>“Sorry, L. This is something I gotta do. Try to get out of the city before anything worse happens.”</jonastext>(set: $LConfPunch to 3) [[Up the long tower|Up the tower]]

You run up the stairs not looking back. The stairs inside haven’t been repaired in a while, and the massive creature climbing outside hasn’t helped. You have to step around fallen masonry and can feel the tower shift each time the creature, presumably, takes another step. Every few dozen steps up the tower, you find a window. Even the passing glance out the window you can get a greater sample of the destruction to the city. Eventually, one of the windows you pass is blocked by the claw of the Terror god. Up close, the talon is even more disturbing. A boney and barnacled saber of stone like bone. Despite the growing pain in your chest and the weakness in your legs, you keep running. [[Keep going|Up the Tower2]]

As you rise you try to think of what you are going to do, or even why you thought this would be a good idea. Around the 27th floor, you pass a window and see the Dark Lord. While you didn’t get a good look at him in the basement, or through the hole, you can tell that it’s him. Because of the robe. Everyone else that you met with those robes are either dead or that doorman that you hit with a hammer, whom you hope is still alive. So this must be the Dark Lord. Clinging to the side of one of the Deep God’s limbs. You don’t even consider that anyone could buy a robe like this one. Or that there might be members of this cult that you haven’t met. Partly because you don’t think too hard about most things. But also because he screams “Tremble before the Dark Lord. Ththiicachical lives!” Just as you pass the window, he notices you. “You!” (display:"Up Tower choices")

(if: $AskDarklord is 1)[<jonastext>“Come on. To kill this Deep God, I need an expert. And you’re the only expert on Deep Gods that I can think of.”</jonastext> <darklordtext>“I am a conduit of Tractchiclitlilthcbkltph’s will. I would never turn on his perfection.”</darklordtext> <jonastext>“But what if...you did.”</jonastext>(set: $AskDarklord to 2)](else:)[<jonastext>“Hey Dark Lord. I know we’ve had our differences, but do you think you could let bygones be bygones and help me save the world from...you?”</jonastext> <darklordtext>“What?”</darklordtext> <jonastext>“I was wondering if you could help me kill this Deep God.”</jonastext> <darklordtext>“Are you deranged?”</darklordtext> <jonastext>“Just answer the question.”</jonastext> (set: $AskDarklord to 1)] (display:"DarkLord Freaks")

(set: $HoldNumber to (random: 1, $DarkLordInsult's length))(display: $DarkLordInsult's $HoldNumber)

(if: $DarkLordIgnore is 2)[You roll your eyes and keep running.(set: $DarkLordIgnore to 3)](if: $DarkLordIgnore is 1)[You continue to snub the darklord. If you weren’t running, you would pretend to examine your fingernails.(set: $DarkLordIgnore to 2)](if: $DarkLordIgnore is 0)[You make eye contact with the dark lord and then turn away, continuing up the stairs without paying him any mind.(set: $DarkLordIgnore to 1)] (display:"DarkLord Freaks")

You point your finger and force your whole body into a thrust towards the Dark Lord. <jonastext>“I amdomish you!”</jonastext> That’s Admonish. <jonastext>“Well How would I know that?”</jonastext> It was written right in the text. <jonastext>“Well maybe if these choices used normal words instead of fancy schmancy three dollar words, I would know what the hell these things mean. What is admonish?”</jonastext> It’s to scold someone. You’re supposed to scold him. <jonastext>“Why not say scold?”</jonastext> Excuse me for trying to expand the vocabulary of our audience. <jonastext>“Oh yeah, ‘I have to study for the SATs I guess I better spend three or four hours rubbing a handful of Coin Shaped Rocks on various objects just to see what happens’ said no one ever.” Jonas rolls his eyes. “No wonder this didn’t sell well.”</jonastext> <darklordtext>“Hey you craven lout!”</darklordtext> Screeches the Dark Lord. <darklordtext>“Don’t you dare try to out crazy me! I’m the only one who yells at their god!”</darklordtext> (set: $AdmonishDarklord to true)(display:"DarkLord Freaks")

(if: $DarkLordGreet is 2)[<jonastext>"Hi!"</jonastext> (set: $DarkLordGreet to 3)](if: $DarkLordGreet is 1)[<jonastext>"Hi"</jonastext> <darklordtext>"Don't pretend you don't fear my magnificence"</darklordtext> <jonastext>“Hi!"</jonastext> <darklordtext>"You mewling quim!"</darklordtext> <jonastext>"Hi!"</jonastext> (set: $DarkLordGreet to 2)](if: $DarkLordGreet is 0)[<jonastext>"Hi Mr... I’m sorry, I didn’t catch your name before.”</jonastext> <darklordtext>“Simpering fool!”</darklordtext> <jonastext>“Is that with one P or two.”</jonastext> <darklordtext>“You admonished crater of lackless wit!”</darklordtext> <jonastext>“To be fair, you walked right into that one, I would lose my Adventure game protagonist license if I didn’t pounce on that one.”</jonastext> (set: $DarkLordGreet to 1)] (display:"DarkLord Freaks")

<jonastext>“Look man, I really don’t understand why you would want to end the world. I saw your house, it’s really nice. You’re a member of the elite, and I must assume you have a lot of money. What does ending the world get you that you don’t already have?”</jonastext> <darklordtext>“You cannot comprehend my mind. The perfection of his glory, He promised me glory and you will feel my wrath."</darklordtext> (set: $ReasonDarklord to true) (display:"DarkLord Freaks")

As you run up the next spiral staircase, you see a door at the top. It’s large, old, and crafted from solid oak. You increase speed, ready to kick it down. But as you reach the top, an unnatural wind rushes past you and blows the door open. You find yourself charging through the door. You stop yourself just before you tumble over the side of the railing. You slam your knees into the banister and for a moment, you stare down the side of the tower at the ground hundreds of feet below. You push yourself back up to your feet. This is the highest point on the clocktower, or at least the highest point you can reach on foot. You are on some sort of maintenance access point that runs along the side of the tower. Behind you is the door you just ran through, above that is the giant clock face. A simple glance tells you that it isn’t running, and the spider’s webs tell you that it hasn’t run in a while. The whole area is bathed in red light, looking up, you can see the red veins of light in the sky. They spider around the like a cracked windshield blanketing the whole city in the dull throbbing red light. [[Intro to end]]

This is the highest point on the clocktower, or at least the highest point you can reach on foot. You are on some sort of maintenance access point that runs along the side of the tower. Behind you is the door you just ran through, above that is the giant clock face. A simple glance tells you that it isn’t running, and the spider’s webs tell you that it hasn’t run in a while. The whole area is bathed in red light, looking up, you can see the red veins of light in the sky. They spider around the like a cracked windshield blanketing the whole city in the dull throbbing red light. [[Look up|Lookup TowerIntro]] [[Look down|LookD TowerIntro]]

a massive tentacle rises in front of you. The Deep God has reached the top of the tower. Frankly, you are surprised that you made it to the top before him. It seems that coordinating hundreds of body tentacles could be time consuming. the Deep God’s head rises up in front of you, blocking your view of the (if: $Towerstatus contains "City")[city](if: $Towerstatus contains "Sky")[sky]. The writhing tentacles frame a massive mouth with razor sharp teeth. The large black eyes stare away, to some place unseen of dark brine and death. The massive claws reach up and grasp the edge of the tower ledge, then stop. It appears that the Deep God has climbed as high as it cares to. The tentacles on its face sway back and forth, reaching up and tracing red lines into the air above the clocktower. [[Uhoh|Deep God Rises02]]

"Hi!" The Dark Lord leaps forward and stabs you in the chest. You don’t feel the blade pierce your flesh, but the spurt of blood assures you that it has. The dark lord’s full weight bears down on you, knocking you to the ground. The Dark lord’s face is inches from yours, his mouth locked in gritted teeth, a drip of spittle about to drop onto your nose. He struggles with you, anger overtaken him, he ignores the dagger and just trys to strangle you. [[Kiss him|KissDarklordend]] [[Kick him|KickDarklordend]]

You quickly puckerup and plant a quick smooch on his lips. He splutters and leaps back. He spits and wipes his lips. <darklordtext>“You befoul my personage with your talk hole!”</darklordtext> You wipe your mouth, <jonastext>“What do you eat garlic for a living?”</jonastext> [[Not sure why you did that|Darklord Die]]

You raise one knee and place it on his chest. With one shove from your strong legs, you throw him off of you. He tumbles over himself, getting tangled up in his robe once more. He briefly thrashes about and screams in rage. After successfully getting more tangled he looks up at the Deep God. [[You were always a good kicker|Darklord Die]]

<darklordtext>“Oh great Tractchiclitlilthcbkltph, I am your greatest and most humble servant. Smite this fool, I demand it!”</darklordtext> The Deep God’s face tentacles stop their rhythmic swaying. <deeptext>“YOU ARE NOTHING. Your mortal world is but pause between the shifting tides. You fight over grains of sand and think yourself kings.”</deeptext> <darklordtext>“My infinite lord! You promised me power!”</darklordtext> <deeptext>“I promise nothing to the wavering illusion you call life. I speak not to the vaporous smoke of dimisquitey, and you presume reward.”</deeptext> [[Oh shit|Darklord Die02]]

(if: $Towerstatus contains "Stab")[(set: $Towerstatus to it + (array: "Pain"))As you try to push yourself up, a sudden stinging pain jolts through your chest. The shock of the stab has worn off and you are now overwhelmed by the agony. You briefly worry that pulling it out will cause you to bleed out, but you can’t do anything while writhing in pain. [[Well, better pull it out|Pullknife Tower2]]](else:)[Holding your wound with one hand, you push yourself up with the other. As you steady yourself against the railing, the Deep God stirs. You worry that it while break your neck too, but it doesn’t seem to notice or care about you.(set: $Towerstatus to it - (array: "Prone"))] (display: "Thereturnkey")

You wonder if you should pull out the knife. You remember something about weapons holding wounds closed, and removing them causing you to bleed out. While trying to decide, you touch the knife lightly, and a sudden stinging pain jolts through your chest. The shock of the stab has worn off and you are now overwhelmed by the agony. (set: $Towerstatus to it + (array: "Pain")) Bleeding out or not, you can’t do anything while in this pain. [[Well, better pull it out|Pullknife Tower2]]

[[Hold the wound closed|Hold Wound]] [[Ignore it|Try again]]

He starts screaming at you, “My great unknowable! He screams to the Deep God.” “Strike down this infernal worm, Show him the darkness that festers beyond.” The Deep God takes another step, lifting the darklord out of sight. [[keep runni He scrunches up his hand into a strange gesture and points at you. His eyes roll back into his head. “NlfYaogogth grah'n ee r'luh Sgbiaguhr-Nuth r'luh na'bthnk-” Eldrich light begins to cascade out of his eyes. “syha'h, naftaghu h'ee 'ai Cnguhaar Fguan--” The light surges across his hand, and just as he is building to a zenith, the Deep God climbs another step, carrying him out of sight of the window. “No, I was just about to--” he screams as he’s carried away. Just out of sight, you see the remnants of a flash, as some sort of spell his the wall of the tower. [[Keep go “Damn it THITIHIFIH, this welp disrespects your greatest proffit, and you allow it! Strike him down! Rend his mind and lick his soul from his corpse!” He stabs his finger towards you. “This unwashed flagon must die!” He yells up to the Deep God. “No down here! Just squiwer him with your talon it would only take a-” The Deep God takes another step carrying the Dark lord out of sight.

(set: $DarkLordInsult to it - (array: $DarkLordInsult's $HoldNumber)) <jonastext>“Gargamel, when you and the other heels are done kicking kittens or whatever, would you mind putting out your clove cigarettes, combing your hair, and taking a shower? Your parents are having some friends over, and you should be presentable.”</jonastext> <darklordtext>“I don’t know what that means, but I assume it was an insult.”</darklordtext> <jonastext>“It was a pretty great one.”</jonastext> (display:"DarkLord Freaks")

(set: $DarkLordInsult to it - (array: $DarkLordInsult's $HoldNumber)) <jonastext>“Hey, King of subtlety. A judas priest cover band called, they want their wardrobe back.”</jonastext> <darklordtext>“You vile numbness of thought!”</darklordtext> <jonastext>“Mine was better.”</jonastext> (display:"DarkLord Freaks")

(set: $DarkLordInsult to it - (array: $DarkLordInsult's $HoldNumber)){ }<jonastext>“Hey stupid!”</jonastext> He glares at you and starts to yell. <jonastext>“Ha you looked.”</jonastext> He starts to yell. <jonastext>“Wait!”</jonastext> you flip him the bird. (display:"DarkLord Freaks")

(if: $DarkLordTower is 2)[(display:"To the Top")](else:)[(set: $DarkLordTower to it + 1) Your lungs ache as you run. just ahead you can see the dark lord through another window. He notices you and glares. (display:"Up Tower choices")]

(if: $DarkLordTower is 2)[(display: "DarkLordResponce3")](if: $DarkLordTower is 1)[(display: "DarkLordResponce2")](if: $DarkLordTower is 0)[(display: "DarkLordResponce1")]

He starts screaming at you, <darklordtext>“My great unknowable!"</darklordtext> He screams to the Deep God. <darklordtext>“Strike down this infernal worm, Show him the darkness that festers beyond.”</darklordtext> The Deep God takes another step, lifting the darklord out of sight. [[You'll see him again|Still Running up]]

He scrunches up his hand into a strange gesture and points at you. His eyes roll back into his head. <darklordtext>“NlfYaogogth grah'n ee r'luh Sgbiaguhr-Nuth r'luh na'bthnk-” </darklordtext> Eldrich light begins to cascade out of his eyes. <darklordtext>“syha'h, Tractchiclitlilthcbkltph h'ee 'ai Cnguhaar Fguan--”</darklordtext> The light surges across his hand, and just as he is building to a zenith, the Deep God climbs another step, carrying him out of sight of the window. <darklordtext>“No, I was just about to--”</darklordtext> he screams as he’s carried away. Just out of sight, you see the remnants of a flash, as some sort of spell his the wall of the tower. [[He's persistant|Still Running up]]

<darklordtext>“Damn it Tractchiclitlilthcbkltph, this welp disrespects your greatest prophet, and you allow it! Strike him down! Rend his mind and lick his soul from his corpse!”</darklordtext> He stabs his finger towards you. <darklordtext>“This unwashed flagon must die!”</darklordtext> He yells up to the Deep God. <darklordtext>“No down here! Just skewer him with your talon it would only take a-”</darklordtext> The Deep God takes another step carrying the Dark lord out of sight. [[He has a lot of anger|Still Running up]]

Cracks are a fitting description. You notice that the veins are cracks, in the sky itself. through the cracks you can see red light and shifting shadows. (set: $Towerstatus to it + (array: "Sky")) Just as you come to terms with this realization, (display: "Deep God Rises")

The destruction on the city still looks rather bad. From up here, the people look like ants, and the city looks like an anthill after the disturbed kid found his father's gas tank. (set: $Towerstatus to it + (array: "City")) Strangely, the destruction doesn’t seem to go farther than the city limits. Maybe the sludge beasties don’t want to wander too far from the Deep God. Speaking of which, (display: "Deep God Rises")

Double-click this passage to edit it.

You reach up and slide the blade out of your chest. As it slips out, you wince at each overly artistic flourish the blacksmith cut into it. As the tip comes out of the wound, you feel a rush of warm liquid pour out across your chest.(set: $Towerstatus to it - (array: "Stab")) (Display: "Fresh Wound")

You press your hand into the wound to stem the flow of blood. You hope your hands aren’t too filthy, a septic wound is at best a lateral move. [[Back|Top of the Tower]]

You do what you have always done about health issues, ignore it. As you stand up, you pass out due to blood loss and die a few minutes later. [[Try again|Bleedingout]]

You press your hand against the wound, slowing the flow of blood.

A dagger lands on the floor a couple yards from your feet. Then, grunting, the dark lord hoists himself over the railing, his cloak limiting his leg movement. He flops over the railing and untangles his legs from his robe. Panting, he rolls over and sees you. “You!” before you react, he snatches the dagger up and jumps to his feet. “Die!” [[Greet|Greet Darklordend]]

(if: $Towerstatus contains "Prone")[[[Get up|Getup Tower]]] (if: $Towerstatus contains "Stab")[[[Pull out knife|Pullknife Tower]]] (if: $Towerstatus contains "Open Wound")[[[Keep Pressure on wound|PressWound]]] (if: $Inventory contains "Dagger")[](else:)[ [[Pick up Dagger]] ]

Double-click this passage to edit it.

You've just removed the blade, and are bleeding out. Now, make the right choice this time. (Display: "Fresh Wound")

“Hey, Zoidberg!” You cough out, your breaths getting shallow. “How’d the hell do you say the unspeakable? Just because you talk nonsense doesn’t mean you are some sort of higher life form, it just means you can’t be bothered to be understandable.” The Deep God doesn’t notice or care what you have to say. (display: "Thereturnkey")

“Hey, Thult- Ththichthi- Thiclith- Timmy. I’m gonna call you Timmy.” You lean against the railing, and press harder on your wound. “What’s the point to all of this? I mean there must be other, non inhabited worlds for you to invade. And If you’ve been sleeping all this time, why can’t you just go back to sleep for a while? It would be much easier for you to conquer a planet with a complaint population. Look down there.” You slump on the railing and point down into the city. “They’re fighting like hell to live. If we’re so brief, why not just take a cat nap and set your alarm to ‘whenever-the-entire-population-of-Loxen-is-ready-to-die o’clock. Loxen, that’s the name of this planet. Incase you didn’t know.” “Or come to my homeworld, Earth. See how you fare against some science” You get a little fired up. “Yeah, lets see you try and exist in a realm without any BS magic keeping you together.” You wince against the wound and take a moment to catch your breath. “Ok well, good talk Timmy.” (display: "Thereturnkey")

“Did you seriously just assume you would be rewarded? Like this wasn’t a deal with the devil, it was just you helping some death god come here and just thought that an exchange of power was implicit?” The corpse doesn’t respond. “You’re doing a heck of a job.” (display: "Thereturnkey")

(if: $Towerstatus contains "Prone")[You can’t slap anything while on the floor.](else:)[You limp over to the Deep God, getting as close as you dare. You reach out with your bloody hand, and slap the only tentacle you can reach. The flesh is wet and harder than stone. The Deep doesn’t seem to notice or care. You don’t blame it.] (display: "Thereturnkey")

(if: $Towerstatus contains "Prone")[You can see much from your vantage position on the floor.](else:)[The Sea of eyes glowing red don’t seem to look at you. Or at anything in particular. They dart around, trying (and succeeding) to see all of reality. The dark tentacles from the void are reaching out to the Deep God, but the Deep God seems content to allow them to slowly come to it.] (display: "Thereturnkey")

Upon closer inspection, the eyes of the Dark Lord have shriveled up to the size of peas, and the eyelids have split open. The Dark lord would have a rather large advantage. (display: "Thereturnkey")

{(set: $Inventory to it + (array: "Rope")) (set: $bystander2 to "Woman") (set: $Inventory to it + (array: "Rope", "Panties", "Whiskey", "Coin shaped Rocks", "Shoe", "Fountain Pen", "Hammer", "Lipstick", "Chequebook", "Coupon", "Angry Letter", "Molotov Cocktail kit")) (set: $Winjump to true)}(display:"Decide1")

{(set: $Inventory to it + (array: "Rope")) (set: $bystander2 to "Woman") (set: $Inventory to it + (array: "Rope", "Panties", "Whiskey", "Coin shaped Rocks", "Shoe", "Fountain Pen", "Hammer", "Lipstick", "Chequebook", "Coupon", "Angry Letter", "Molotov Cocktail kit")) (set: $Winjump to true)}(display:"Up the Tower2")

{<head> <style> th, td {border: white ridge 0.8em; border-radius: 0.25em;} </style> </head><table style="width:100%;"><td style="width:50%;">(display: "Use Molotov Cocktail")</td><td style="width:50%;">(display: "Inventory01")</td> </table>}

This laminated Pamphlet tells you the very simple instructions for making a Molotohv Cocktail. It reads: How to make your own Uki brand Flaming Bottle Bomb. Step one: Acquire a bottle of flammable liquid Step two: Stuff flammable paper or linen into the neck of the bottle Step three: Light your paper/linen on fire Step four: Throw at target (set: $InvUsing to "Use Molotov Cocktail kit Table") The rest of the paper is blank. You flip it over and a small sticker states: 50$ ''Use Molotov Cocktail Pamphlet on what?'' [[Make Firebomb to throw at the Deep God|Make Firebomb]] (display: "Thereturnkey")

(if: $talkedabout contains ("Dagger"))[Well, fire hasn't worked so far. But you don't really have anything else you can do. [[Use Whiskey bottle|Make Fire01]]](else:)[You have fuel, paper, and a desire to throw. But you lack anything to light a fire.] (display: "Thereturnkey")

This Dagger is overly Ornate. There isn’t a part of the blade without a flourish and the handle is uncomfortable to hold, because of all the jewels.(set: $InvUsing to "Use Dagger Table") Looking at the bottom you find a little hinge. [[Flip Hinge| Dagger 2]] (display: "Thereturnkey")

You flip open the hinge and find a familiar little mechanism. You flick the wheel a few times and a little flame springs to life. This Dagger has a lighter built into the handle. A multipurpose sacrificial dagger. Stab the Sacrifices that bleed. Light the Sacrifices that burn. A little engraving on the inside of the hinge says “Made in Kimora”. Remembering the last time you held a lighter, you blow out the flame and close it. You’d rather not blow up //this// tower.(set: $talkedabout to it + (array: "Dagger"))(display: $InvUsing)

You open the whiskey bottle. It's completely full. To free up some space, you take a swig. If there was anytime for a drink, this is it. [[Use Coupon|Make Fire02]]

Your fingers shake as you scrunch up the coupon into a long thin wick. You have to remove your hand from your wound for a moment to guide the paper into the bottle. You slip the paper down the neck of the bottle until the bottom half is submerged in the booze. [[Use Dagger|Make Fire03]]

You flip the dagger around and pop open the lighter compartment. You usually have difficulty with lighters, but this one lights with ease. You assume the Dark Lord got some sort of quick lite model. You light the paper and wheel back to throw [[Get ready|Make Fire04]]

"Looks like you can’t take the heat. so get out of the kitchen." (display: "Deep God Death01")

"This will teach you to play with fire." (display: "Deep God Death01")

"The Muscial //Rent// is highly overrated" (display: "Deep God Death01")

"Don’t count your chickens before they’re hatched." (display: "Deep God Death01")

"Ohio was the last state in the union to be ratified in. There was a clerical error that was only discovered in 1953." (display: "Deep God Death01")

"This has been a bad day for me." (display: "Deep God Death01")

The bottle tumbles out of your hand, in an arc that you would have called beautiful, if you could even focus on it. The blood loss is starting to make things fuzzy For a moment, the flames on the paper seem to go out. But a few flickering embers reignite it as it rolls in the air. The molotov cocktail bounces off one of the swaying face tentacles, and you fear it will smash on the floor. But then the Deep God inhales a mighty breath, to speak at full volume. The bottle is drawn into the Deep God's mouth and down its throat. Great, he ate it. [[Meanwhile|Deep God Death02]]

Your knees are starting to get weak. As you raise your hand to throw, your legs fail you and you fall backward onto your butt. the bottle slips from you fingers, but you manage to catch it before it smashes onto the ground. Now laying on your back, you reach back as far as you can to throw, and think of something good to say: [[Something cool|Say Something01]] [[Something clever|Say Something02]] [[Something smart|Say Something03]] [[Something wise|Say Something04]] [[Something true|Say Something05]] [[Something else|Say Something06]]

From the ground, it was hard to describe. At once, all the sludge beasties stopped their attack and turned to the sky. The twisting eyes in the red void were spinning and dilating. For a moment, the first syllables of a true word of darkness ushered from the Deep God. Then it lurched and shuttered. The explosion started in its neck, blowing out the throat and bathing the streets below in ichor. Then the belly imploded, allowing the legs and tail to simply fall to the ground. Then crackles of pink light splintered around the head, swirling across each tentacle and wreathing each eye. Then the head exploded in the largest fireball that any wizard in the city had ever seen. The explosion incinerated any piece still on the body, and tore the clocktower to pieces. The Clocktower's bell rang once as the whole tower toppled to the ground. [[Surely no one could survive that|Near Death intro]]

You are in darkness, or perhaps lightness, or just a void with nothing for the eye to perceive. (display: "Near Death Actions")

You struggle. (display: "Near Death Actions") (set: $DeathStruggle to 1)

You push yourself to your feet. You don't know if you are standing on a surface, or you are just thinking you are out of habit. A figure sits not too far from you.(set:$DeathStand to true) (display: "Near Death Actions")

You continue your struggle. You're not sure what you're stuggling against. And yet, you continue. (set: $DeathStruggle to 2) (display: "Near Death Actions")

It... It's a skeleton in a black robe, with a scythe. He(?) is sitting on a folding chair made of bones. His legs are crossed, and he’s flipping through a newspaper (set: $talkedabout to it + (array: "LookDeath")) (display: "Near Death Actions")

One of the face tentacles whips out and grabs the Dark Lord around the neck. It raises him up as he gasps for air and clutches at the tentacle. <deeptext>“All you can perceive is a dream. It exists in the fluttering of an eyelid.”</deeptext> The Deep God dangles the Dark Lord over the city. <deeptext>“You compete over who will be the first to the slaughter.”</deeptext> The Deep God swings the dark lord over to your prone body. <deeptext>“You scream into the night and demand that I kill something that is less than a worm.” </deeptext> <deeptext>"To kill it would be to acknowledge it. And I don’t acknowledge the dust of dust.”</deeptext> [[Uh...|The Deep God raises the Dark Lord as high as he can possibley go. The Deep God raises the Dark Lord as high as he can possibley go. <deeptext>“You win. You’ll be first.” </deeptext> With a shuttering snap, the tentacle breaks the Dark Lord’s neck. A strange shimmering substance flows out of his ears and into the porous suckers that line the appendage. With a *Whoomp* The corpse of the dark lord drops to the floor. With its job done, the tentacle lifts up and returns to swaying above the tower. [[Top of the Tower]]

The Deep God raises the Dark Lord as high as he can possibley go. <deeptext>“You win. You’ll be first.” </deeptext> With a shuttering snap, the tentacle breaks the Dark Lord’s neck. A strange shimmering substance flows out of his ears and into the porous suckers that line the appendage. With a *Whoomp* The corpse of the dark lord drops to the floor. With its job done, the tentacle lifts up and returns to swaying above the tower. [[Top of the Tower]]

The skeleton glances over the paper at you. He makes a show of looking himself up and down. <deathtext>And I thought the whole osseus look would be //too// on the nose.</deathtext> He taps himself on the cheakbone and looks at you intently. <deathtext>That was a pun. You mortals are supposed to find those humourous.</deathtext> “Was //that// a pun?” <deathtext>If you like.</deathtext> He taps the scythe sitting next to his chair. <deathtext>I have many names, but all of them make you mortals uncomfortable. You can call me <strong>Omega</strong>.</deathtext>(set: $talkedabout to it + (array: "Omega")) (display: "Near Death Actions")

<jonastext>"Am i dead?"</jonastext> <deathtext>That remains to been seen.</deathtext> (display: "Near Death Actions")

<jonastext>"Did i win?</jonastext> <deathtext>Did you win?</deathtext> <jonastext>"You know, did I stop it?"</jonastext> <deathtext>Stop what?</deathtext> <jonastext>"The end of the world."</jonastext> (if: $talkedabout contains "Omega")[<strong>Omega</strong>](else:)[The skeleton] stands up from his chair. <deathtext>Worlds end everyday. A flood destroys a valley that holds everything a man has ever known, the last words of a poet are forgotten, a mother holds her baby as it breaths no more.</deathtext> (if: $talkedabout contains "Omega")[<strong>Omega</strong>](else:)[The skeleton] begins folding the newspaper. <deathtext>"and a world ends.</deathtext> With a flick, the newspaper vanishes. <deathtext>It just depends on the scope.</deathtext> (if: $talkedabout contains "Omega")[<strong>Omega</strong>](else:)[The skeleton] folds the chair up and it vanishes too. <deathtext>I’ll put it this way. if you hadn’t killed that eldritch creature. My schedule would be much more full.</deathtext> (set: $talkedabout to it + (array: "Omega Stands")) (display: "Near Death Actions")

<jonastext>"What (if: $talkedabout contains "Omega Stands")[were](else:)[are] you doing?</jonastext> <deathtext>Making my plans for tomorrow. The obits are usually a good place to start.</deathtext> (display: "Near Death Actions")

(if: $Towerstatus contains "Prone")[You can't reach it while sitting on the ground](else:)[ You stumble over to the dagger and pick it up.{ }(set: $Inventory to it + (array: "Dagger"))] --- (display: "Top of the Tower")

{<head> <style> th, td {border: white ridge 0.8em; border-radius: 0.25em;} </style> </head><table style="width:100%;"><td style="width:50%;">(display: "Use Dagger")</td><td style="width:50%;">(display: "Inventory01")</td> </table>}

Double-click this passage to edit it.

(if: $DeathStruggle is 0)[ [[Struggle|StruggleDeath01]] ](if: $DeathStruggle is 1)[[[Struggle more|StruggleDeath02]]](if: $DeathStruggle is 2)[ [[Just Keep Stuggling|StruggleDeath03]] ] [[Look around|Look around Death]] (if: $DeathStand is false)[ [[Stand up|StandDeath01]]] (if: $DeathStand is true)[[[Look at figure|lookDeath]] (if: $talkedabout contains "LookDeath")[ (if: $talkedabout contains "Omega")[](else:)[ [[Who are you?|Who Death]]] (if: $talkedabout contains "Omega Stands")[[[What were you doing?|What Death]]](else:)[[[What are you doing?|What Death]]] [[Where am i?|Where Death]] [[Am I dead|Am Death]] (if: $talkedabout contains "Omega Stands")[](else:)[[[Did I win?|Win Death]] ]]]

Double-click this passage to edit it.

(if: $DeathStand is false)[You can't see anything from your vantage point on the ...ground?](else:)[You can't see anything. Aside from (if: $talkedabout contains "LookDeath")[(if: $talkedabout contains "Omega")[<strong>Omega</strong>](else:)[the skeleton]](else:)[the figure] (if: $talkedabout contains "Omega Stands")[standing}(else:)[sitting]] near you.] (display: "Near Death Actions")

<jonastext>"Where am I?"</jonastext> <deathtext>You are having a…What is that term you mortals use: Sample size? Trial membership? Lease with option to buy? </deathtext> (if: $talkedabout contains "Omega")[<strong>Omega</strong>](else:)[the skeleton] scratches his chin. <deathtext>You know, the ones who dirty my doorstep, but never ring the bell. They do it.</deathtext> <jonastext>“I’m having a near…(if: $talkedabout contains "Omega")[<strong>You</strong>](else:)[Death]…experience?”</jonastext> (if: $talkedabout contains "Omega")[<strong>Omega</strong>](else:)[the skeleton] produces a yardstick, carved from bone, and pokes you with it. <deathtext>You are rather close</deathtext> (display: "Near Death Actions")

You keep struggling. You struggle. and struggle Nobody is more stuggling than you. [[STRUGGLE!|The end01]]

That's the end. Mostly... Thank you for playing Jonas Mallory and the Bibliotek of Boom Teaser This game is in Alpha at the moment. You're lucky to get a chance at it. Why not head over to <a href="https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfa8FUctLRE3OR2GNXOAN9KlueJFfgrAuTjlUDu_Fvnq6jwsA/viewform" target="_blank">here to leave a comment on how you liked it.</a> or go <a href="https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSdCyMg6jkWQoUkY9p9X6fJKKJ-NvjFf_QQ7pr1wrcY8ycqhMw/viewform" target="_blank">here to request to become a Proofreader</a> You commited: $OOCD count(unless: $OOCD is "1")[s] of Obstructing an Officer in the course of his duty 3 counts of Bank Fraud 2 counts of Assault 0 counts of Grand Theft Sacramental Weapon 4 counts of Destruction of Public Property 2 counts of Coercion 1 count of Racketeering

(if: $Towerstatus contains "Prone")[You can't get a good angle from the ](else:)[(display:"Throw Shoe End")]

Just as it looks like it's going to miss, the Deep God inhales a great breath. The shoe lands right on the Deep God's tongue. A strange gurgling sound crackles through the air. At the place where your shoe lands, the Deep God's tongue begins to crack, shrivel, and turn a dull grey. The Deep God shrieks as the cracks spread, twisting the flesh of the deep god as it goes. Its eyes deflate, the skin peals from its skull. As blood pours from the wounds, the blood itself solidifies into hard chunks of black brick and shatters against the ground. The whole tower shakes, as the Deep God is thrashed apart by its own flesh. "uh...I didn't think that would work." you run to the door, when a piece of masonry knocks you in the head. [[What?|Throw Shoe End02]]

On the ground, it is hard to describe. The deep god just starts to fall apart. Chunks of flesh and bone splitting from the body and falling to the ground. As they hit the cobblestones, they shatter into seaweed, coral, and tiny fishbones. The beasties themselves begin writhing. Limbs and eyes falling off, as the black sludge melts and dries up. Above, the deep god wails as its belly explodes, completely destroying the Clocktower. [[Hopefully, no one was up there|Near Death intro]]