Teaching Persuasive Writing in Year Eight: An Interactive Adventure

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Lorikeet High is pretty different from what you're used to. When you were in secondary school - which was not so long ago - you went to Ivy Cloisters Ladies' College. It was a combined campus: preschool to Year 12. You wore a blazer and a boater. On Athletics Day, all the Ivy girls piled onto a dozen buses to drive to the aths field, and you hid in the corner, writing novels on your laptop. <img src = "http://www.frankstonlittleathletics.com.au/assets/console/customitem/images/main/flac-track.jpg" /> You never knew that Lorikeet High was behind the aths park. Not until you enrolled in the Monash Master of Teaching course, and found out [[you'd been placed there]].

Lorikeet High shares its grounds with a primary school as well: Bellbird Park Primary. For those families in the suburb who have a lot of kids, it makes for an easy school pickup. You've been to Lorikeet already, in Semester One. Lorikeet students wear functional purple jackets. They take the train. They use the school laptops, which are shared with the whole year level. You're lucky, though! It normally takes you an hour or so to get to uni, and some of your peers have to drive ninety minutes to reach their schools. A provincial location suits you. And last semester, you quite liked the work - even if the lack of resources often meant you had to improvise. You take an easy, half-hour cruise down the freeway, and arrive at Lorikeet High at 8.30 - ten minutes before the first bell. Class will start at 8.50. [[You'd better get organised!]]

<img src = "https://www.mcclellandcollege.vic.edu.au/images/banner-fullwidth.jpg" /> WEEK ONE At Ivy Cloisters, the main building had a haunted clocktower, a circular drive and a commemorative sign - Established 1929 . As you enter the school grounds on your first day of placement, you see that Lorikeet's has a sign too: <img src = "https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/1456/4892/products/DAC-39_Danger_Building_Contains_Asbestos_large.png?v=1497892111" /> You... [[straighten your shoulders and enter the asbestos building]] . [[make a beeline for your car]] .

Where do you think you're going? You're not afraid of a little asbestos, are you? You'll have to be a bit tougher than that to teach at Lorikeet! Now [[go and join your colleagues in the staff room.|staffroom1]]

A little bit of asbestos never hurt anyone. You stride into the reception office, sign in and [[go and join your colleagues in the staff room.|staffroom1]]

'How long are you gonna talk for today, Miss?' 'Not long, Cynthia. But not everyone is as ready to start their essays as you. You'll have plenty of time to write today.' 'Good. I like your pin, by the way.' You look down at your new origami crane brooch. She is the first person to notice it! 'Thank you!' 'No worries.' She works productively for the rest of the lesson. [[See what Cynthia wrote.]] [[Check on Rachel.|Rachel3]] [[Check on Ami.|Ami3]]

'Well,' you say, 'do you know that show, The Good Place?' 'Oh my God! I love The Good Place!' 'Well, in that show, people do good things for bad reasons, don't they?' 'Like Tahani only gives to charity to make her sister look bad?' 'Right! In our essays, we have to write about good reasons to stand up for other people. Ethical reasons. You know - reasons why it's right. Like they talk about in the show, when they get their ethics lessons.' She twiddles her pen, apparently processing your words - then glances slyly at a boy in glasses a few seats down. 'Miss... do you believe in God?' Uh-oh. [['Is this relevant to English?']]

'Well, Ami, there are other, non-physical ways to help, like calling the cops or an ambulance! You should do unto others as you'd have them do -' 'What if they like getting hit? Some people are into weird stuff, you know!' Oh dear. Maybe you should [[an analogy from popular culture.]]

<img src = "https://static1.squarespace.com/static/54bde334e4b06fad9ba76db0/t/54bdee5fe4b06b2bad9955e3/1421733474579/" /> You're about to go on an interactive journey through my placement experience as a preservice teacher. When the screen is blue, you'll be able to read a bit about my thoughts on the situations given in the game, and their implications for my teaching. When the screen is any other colour, you're playing as me! It's a bit like a Choose Your Own Adventure story. Now and then, you'll get different options to choose from. Click the [[bold text]] to move through the story and choose options when they appear.

<img src = "https://static1.squarespace.com/static/54bde334e4b06fad9ba76db0/t/54bdee5fe4b06b2bad9955e3/1421733474579/" /> I think the students' feedback, and my mentor's, speak for themselves here. In the first week, we were all a little unsure of ourselves - and I tend to natter when I'm nervous. I also had to fight hard against the deficit mentality (Knight, 2002). I have previously tutored persuasive writing with VCE students, and had to remind myself that these were Year Eights. I also found myself floundering a bit when I tried to implement the collaboration paradigm (Amatea, 2013). The students didn't seem used to sharing their opinions - new approaches, rather than injecting the classroom with fresh energy, seemed to confuse or annoy the students rather than help them, as they weren't in keeping with their experience of 'how we do it here' (Amatea, 2013). As placement went on, I offered a few more outside-the-box activities, but ended up generally playing it safe. The chatterbox worked well, though. Students also seemed to like using their phones as learning tools. Although they didn't have their own laptops, a phone was something the students all had on hand - so, after the example of Coloumbe (2011), I brought the phones on board as learning tools. If they could take pictures of the notes on the board, and easily share them with each other, then much less time was wasted in waiting for everybody to finish taking notes. Here's what [[the kids|kidreview1]] and [[my mentor|mentorrev1]] had to say about my progress. Alternatively, see how I did in [[Week 2|Week2start]].

'Miss M is positive and nice!' 'She talked too much at the start, but this week, she's doing better at giving us time to work.' 'She's got a really good memory for our names!' 'It was awesome how quick she gave our paragraphs back! She wrote a lot on mine, too. She cares about helping us get better!' Aw! How nice. They seem to really like you! Now... [[reflect on your progress|reflection2]]. [[see what your mentor thought of your progress|mentorrev2]]. [[see how Week 3 goes|WEEK3start]].

<img src = "https://www.mcclellandcollege.vic.edu.au/images/banner-fullwidth.jpg" /> Well done! You made it through your first week! Time to see how you went. Let's review... [[what the kids thought|kidreview1]]. [[what your mentor thought|mentorrev1]]. [[how you felt about your own progress|reflection1]].

As you enter the staff room, you recognise your fellow Monash PSTs - but no regular staff in sight. Just as well you've been here before. It doesn't look like you're getting an orientation this time around! You have a few minutes to [[check where your first lesson will be|newmentor]].

<img src = "https://static1.squarespace.com/static/54bde334e4b06fad9ba76db0/t/54bdee5fe4b06b2bad9955e3/1421733474579/" /> By far, I had the most compliments on my attitude. My abilities to roll with the punches, laugh at myself and at students' quips, memorise names quickly, and attend to all the tables where students needed help were noted. Both my students and mentor picked up on my tendency to talk too much. I found it difficult at times to strike a balance between giving the students enough clear instruction to complete the work, and taking up too much airtime. I wanted to listen to the students more. I suspect a fear of public speaking made it difficult to speak up in front of the class, as most were happy to speak to me one-on-one. Dishearteningly often, when I asked for students' answers or opinions, their response was 'I don't know' (and the occasional delightful, 'No one gives a f**k, Miss; can I leave?') However, the students frequently commented on my positivity - suggesting that the few times I struggled not to take it personally were not obvious to the students - and I felt I had won over most of them by the middle of Week Two. I tried to treat my students equally, and approach every day without preconceptions. I did end up building profiles of them - not for the purpose of pigeonholing them, but to anticipate their needs and preferred learning styles (Hayes, 1994). I did have to keep reminding myself to concentrate on what they were able to do. When I caught myself thinking, 'They're in Year Eight and they don't know how to use TEEL,' I would force myself to rewind: 'They're in Year Eight. Remind them how to use TEEL.' Now... [[see what the kids thought of my progress|kidreview2]]. [[what my mentor thought of my progress|mentorrev2]]. [[how Week 3 went|WEEK3start]].

<img src = "https://static1.squarespace.com/static/54bde334e4b06fad9ba76db0/t/54bdee5fe4b06b2bad9955e3/1421733474579/" /> Use the arrows on the left sidebar to flick back through the story, and explore options you might have missed the first time around. You can also restart the game using this sidebar. If you like, hide the sidebar by clicking on the < symbol. In this story, different students have different views of how my placement went. Some are more encouraging than others - and not everything you try will always work. Pseudonyms have been used throughout this game to protect the identities of the schools and students involved. Does that make sense? [[Then let's go!]]

You pop open your laptop and scroll to the latest email from Lorikeet High Administration. There's [[good news]] and [[bad news]].

The good news is, you have a new mentor! You'll miss the kids you taught last time, but you love a chance to try new things - and you're looking forward to having a mentor all to yourself! And now for the [[bad news]]. [[Go to class.|Week1Start]]

The bad news is, you'll be teaching in the same open-plan classroom you had the last time. With three classes sharing the same huge space, it can get very noisy and distracting. Sometimes you can even hear other teachers reading the same lesson plan as you, a few beats ahead or behind. There's not much wall space to display helpful grammar posters or class brainstorming sheets anywhere that the kids will be able to read them. The only partition between your class and the one next door is a single whiteboard. Sometimes, you end up writing on it at the same time as another teacher! And now for the [[good news]]. [[Go to class.|Week1Start]]

The open-plan classroom is just as you remember it: big and noisy. <img src = "https://ameliamellorsfantasticnarratograph.files.wordpress.com/2018/09/8max1.png?w=680" /> It doesn't take you long to settle back into your routine. The students are focusing on persuasive writing this term, building towards an essay about standing up against prejudice. For the first few lessons, you observe your mentor's style. On the third day, she hands you a lesson on [[persuasive techniques.]]

'Miss M is really enthusiastic! It's nice to have a teacher who acts like they wanna be here!' 'She's normally a pretty clear speaker but sometimes she stutters a bit. I want to see her get more confident!' 'She spends a lot of time talking. And she needs to move other people when they talk too much.' Now let's see... [[what your mentor thought|mentorrev1]]. [[how you felt about your own progress|reflection1]]. [[how Week 2 goes|Week2start]].

'You need to be setting time limits for each task. There were a lot of ‘wasted’ minutes: students were not putting pen to paper. 'Try to limit the amount you talk, while you are explaining. The students are listening but not writing. Explain the content succinctly, so that students are ready to go onto the learning tasks. 'And you did well to pull Rachel and a few others up for their behaviour this week, but you need to be tougher! Show them that you will crack down on them, and I will back you up.' Now let's see... [[what the kids thought|kidreview1]]. [[how you felt about your own progress|reflection1]]. [[how you do in Week 2|Week2start]].

<img src = "https://www.mcclellandcollege.vic.edu.au/images/banner-fullwidth.jpg" /> WEEK TWO Yesterday, your students attempted to write a persuasive paragraph. You have corrected them all, in encouraging green pen. You've reassessed your expectations of your students: this is only their second year of studying persuasive writing, so for most of them it's a completely new skill! You count it as a victory that almost all of them can give examples of rhetorical questions, emotive language, and factual evidence, and how those techniques work. Whose paragraph will you give back first? [[Ami's.|Ami2]] [[Cynthia's.|Cynthia2]] [[Rachel's.|Rachel2]]

You design a new learning tool - the chatterbox! <img src = "https://ameliamellorsfantasticnarratograph.files.wordpress.com/2018/09/img_1481.jpg?w=246&h=328" /> <img src = "https://ameliamellorsfantasticnarratograph.files.wordpress.com/2018/09/img_1482.jpg?w=246&h=328" /> Instead of numbers and fortunes printed on the flaps, you've put persuasive techniques, definitions and examples. It took a bit of fiddling around with the editing programs on your laptop, but it looks really cool. After a bit of fumbling with the chatterboxes, the students start to get the hang of the techniques you've included, and can identify their purpose in a sentence. You watch them flip-flapping their chatterboxes - and hear more flip-flapping in the other Year Eight areas. It seems the whole English faculty has adopted your teaching tool. As you turn away from writing instructions on the board, you notice... [[Rachel, wearing glasses, who has her jacket over her head like she's pretending to be a ghost.|Rachel1]] [[Ami, on crutches, who is calling out to you.|Ami1]] [[Cynthia, with straightened hair, who seems to be working quietly. |Cynthia1]]

Ami is arguing for standing up against prejudice. <img src = "https://ameliamellorsfantasticnarratograph.files.wordpress.com/2018/09/amiwrite.png?w=680" /> Ami will have the rest of the holidays to complete this draft, so this should not be judged as a finished piece. Nevertheless, you can still tell a lot about your teaching of writing in this piece. Let's [[analyse this piece|reflection4]] .

Cynthia is arguing for protecting oneself first. <img src = "https://ameliamellorsfantasticnarratograph.files.wordpress.com/2018/09/cynthiawrite.png?w=680" /> Cynthia will have the rest of the holidays to complete this draft, so this should not be judged as a finished piece. Nevertheless, you can still tell a lot about your teaching of writing in this piece. Let's [[analyse this piece|reflection6]] .

'That was excellent use of your own example of writing a novel and asking the council to pave the road, and relating it to Form, Language, Audience and Purpose. This is relating the content to real life – teaching the importance of what we are learning. 'You are growing in confidence and this is evident in your teaching practice. The students are respectful and they are asking you questions. It is clear that they are trusting you as their teacher. 'Well done on the effective pause! Did you notice what the boys near Ron said, when you did that?' Great job! Now... [[reflect on your progress|reflection2]]. [[see what the kids thought of your progress|kidreview2]]. [[see how Week 3 goes|WEEK3start]].

<img src = "https://static1.squarespace.com/static/54bde334e4b06fad9ba76db0/t/54bdee5fe4b06b2bad9955e3/1421733474579/" /> Ami did well to synthesise three or four weeks' worth of content here! I was pleased to see that she has used a number of persuasive techniques: -facts, in the form of two well-known case studies: the Sydney siege and the Ariana Grande Manchester concert terrorist attack. -inclusive language, used to unite readers to take action - 'these define who we are' -emotive language, used to colour the reader's feelings towards the subject at hand: 'sneak into the bathroom' implies vulnerability and cleverness, 'random strangers' is heartwarmingly juxtaposed with 'help [sic] the injured out of the concert... saving their lives'. -appeals: she attempts to evoke a sense of guilt and responsibility in the reader by suggesting that 'even one person' could have stopped the teenager's suicide in the given case study. -a rhetorical question is used to prompt the reader to empathise with the bullied girl: 'what if it was you in that position?' She is also writing with a fair understanding of how the TEEL structure (known as PEAL at Lorikeet High) can be used to better convey her argument. Her introduction doesn't give an overview of the topic, but it does state her contention and list her major points. For the most part, Ami hasn't used topic sentences in her body paragraphs. Her first paragraph doesn't analyse the given examples. However, her use of well-known, recent examples - relevant to Australians in the case of the Sydney siege, and to her peers in the attack at the Ariana Grande concert - shows an understanding of the importance of relatable evidence. Her linking sentences are confident and, while the topic sentences are not really evident, each paragraph has a clear focus. It seems a little unfair to judge Ami's writing on only half an essay: three hundred words, when the final draft is meant to be at least twice that. However, one major issue stands out here: the links to prejudice in this essay are tenuous. She refers to it in her contention, and her linking sentence at the end of the first body paragraph. She also mentions types of prejudice in her analysis of the bullying example, but forgets to mention what the suicidal girl was bullied for, which might have emphasised the need not just to stand up for others, but to do so in the face of prejudice. [[See what Cynthia wrote.]] [[Here's what this may imply for my teaching practice.|final]]

<img src = "https://static1.squarespace.com/static/54bde334e4b06fad9ba76db0/t/54bdee5fe4b06b2bad9955e3/1421733474579/" /> My Lorikeet High students struggled with the term 'prejudice' in general - yet it was used throughout their learning materials. When one boy, Toby, compared it in Week Three to 'discrimination', I realised that it might have been wise to do that work earlier on, using terms the Year Eights already understood. My students also understood prejudice better when I related it to their everyday experiences, which didn't really occur to me until Week Three. I had a few students catch on when I told them that as young people, and state school students, every single student in the room would potentially face prejudice. A few, namely students of colour, were able to recall their parents' experiences of racism; and a few girls tentatively mentioned sexism in their class discussions. The example of standing up for others that recurred time and again was that of preventing physical bullying: the most visible, relatable and physically unsafe example most of them could think of. I suspect this was due to a few factors. One of the most important is that prejudice can be so insidious and commonplace that they may not recognise it, or simply accept it unquestioningly as an unchangeable fact of life. This is vital to know as a teacher - and specifically, a teacher of writing - because of the power of writing to liberate marginalised voices (Kent, 1995). The other major reason why my students may have struggled with understanding prejudice is that they are, as yet, too young to have seen or experienced much of it. One thing I can do to make sure that the main topic doesn't drift from students' minds is to keep cognitive load theory in mind (Sweller, 2001). By the end of Week Three, students were losing their grasp on what they had learned weeks ago about prejudice. For many of them, the major topic of study had been superseded by TEEL/PEAL, persuasive techniques and grammar conventions. This suggests that, when beginning a lesson, I would have done well to bring the focus back to prejudice and standing up against it. [[What were my final thoughts on this unit?|final1]]

She sighs. 'No, Miss.' You continue around the classroom. You explain, you prompt, you guide. You memorise the students' names. [[The week rolls on.|ENDWEEK1]]

<img src = "https://static1.squarespace.com/static/54bde334e4b06fad9ba76db0/t/54bdee5fe4b06b2bad9955e3/1421733474579/" /> The experience of teaching perusasive writing at Lorikeet High has left me with a few major impressions. While I was initially disappointed in my students' lack of creativity, the fact that they all kept using the same handful of examples in their early paragraphs emphasised the need to scaffold their creativity. In future, I would like to dedicate more time to helping students discover and understand the deep ideas in a unit. The grammar lessons felt somewhat wasted, as the apparent lack of impact suggests they went over the students' heads: both Ami and Cynthia, reasonably confident writers and motivated students, use run-on sentences in their pieces. My Year Eights showed such a wide variation of competency levels that I feel like spelling, grammar and punctuation would be better taught in baby steps, with individual students focusing on one or two grammar elements per assignment. If an essay is, in the classic analogy, a burger, I would rather have an ugly but delicious burger packed with juicy ideas than a grammatically-beautiful but bland one. I would also make more use of 'mentor texts', so that students can see persuasive techniques in practice and use them as training wheels, of sorts (Doeke, Parr & Sawyer, 2014, p. 6). [[Furthermore...|final2]]

<img src = "https://static1.squarespace.com/static/54bde334e4b06fad9ba76db0/t/54bdee5fe4b06b2bad9955e3/1421733474579/" /> Persuasive writing may be formulaic, but the teaching of it shouldn't be. I often felt locked into the instructional model favoured at Lorikeet, the backbone of which was the teacher talking for a twenty-minute block and the students ostensibly writing on their own (but more often talking) for half an hour. I found that this structure often meant that I repeated myself, and the majority of worksheets came back effectively blank. I will need to make two major changes to compensate for the inefficiencies of models like this one. In future, when my students need to be guided through every term, step and structure of writing, I intend to employ stategies suggested by my mentor and students. Instead of trying to hold their attention for such a long span, I ought to give a single instruction, allow them a short and specific time limit to write a few sentences, then rinse and repeat - and thereby, sentence by hand-holding sentence, compel students to write. In this way, a more rigid structure would be helpful, as even the confident writers in the room tended to interpret 'Twenty minutes to write!' as 'You have plenty of time, so you don't need to start right away!' The students were sometimes hesitant about trying new learning activities, such as a roundtable discussion in a new table configuration. However, the success of the chatterbox suggested that new approaches now and then would help them learn. When I discussed ideas with students in table groups, or one-on-one, many had valuable contributions to make - but the level of noise in the open-plan classroom, and the insularity of the round tables, meant that their peers didn't often hear these. [[In addition...|final3]]

<img src = "https://static1.squarespace.com/static/54bde334e4b06fad9ba76db0/t/54bdee5fe4b06b2bad9955e3/1421733474579/" /> I'm pleased by the way my teaching manner was received. Memorising students' names quickly and a prompt turnaround time on their work showed them that I respected them and wanted to help them improve; they seemed to really appreciate it. However, I need more practice at the juggling act of managing time, keeping behaviour under control, making sure everyone has the resources they need, allowing productive talk but keeping the classroom on track, helping them master their skills but allowing independence, following the curriculum but being creative, knowing when to speak and when to stop talking. Even when teaching formulaic genres, my new goal is to have a spectacular classroom for every unit. I would like my students to hear more answers and opinions from one another, see more on the walls in their own words, get up and read the walls or add to the whiteboard in their own writing. The point of this is not to improve their value as human capital, but to give them the tools they need to write in their daily lives (Doeke, Parr & Sawyer, 2014, p. 10). They will need to write for work, true; but they will also write speeches for their friends' weddings and birthdays, debates in online forums, legal correspondence, and with any luck, they'll use their writing skills to stand up for themselves and others - even if they don't quite know what that looks like yet. [[Epilogue|epilogue1]]

Hmm. How will you make that interesting? There are a lot of techniques to cover. So far, you've seen a lot of chalk-and-talk, as well as worksheets. [[How about you make it fun?|chatterbox]]

'Everything okay here, Rachel?' She pops her head out of her jacket, looks at her friend and laughs. She hasn't written down any examples from the chatterbox. It's not the first time she's mucked around in this lesson. 'Come on, Rachel, why haven't you written anything?' 'I don't get what I'm meant to be doing.' 'No wonder! You can't see the board with your jacket on your head. Pack up your things and move to the front table here, please.' She freezes. [['Will that be a problem, Rachel?' |'Is this relevant to English?']]

'Miss!' You approach her. 'What's up, Ami?' 'I'm okay with the techniques but I'm still stuck on this whole standing up to prejudice thing! Why should I help out a stranger? I don't know what the story is with them! If they're getting bashed up, I could get hurt! Maybe they even deserved it!' Somehow, you doubt this is the last time a student will bring this up. You're in a bind. You know how altruism is programmed into most of the human race - we're social animals, and co-operation was our ancestors' survival strategy. But that only explains why some people do stand up for others, not why we should. And if you go off on a tangent about evolution, you're afraid you'll only confuse her. You decide to explain it with... [[an analogy from popular culture.]] [[some folk wisdom.]]

You wander over to her desk. Silent doesn't always mean productive. 'How's it going, Cynthia?' She flicks her chatterbox. 'Mine's wonky. Who folded these?' 'I did!' 'Oh. Uh... I mean... it's beautiful.' She looks at her friends and they all laugh. [['Is there anything I can help you with?' |'Is this relevant to English?']]

'Miss! You wrote more than me!' You tell her you want to help everyone improve their writing. 'Wow, Miss! You're going to be an AMAZING teacher!' [[You leave her desk with a bounce in your step. |week2rollon]]

'Why'd you write so much on my work, Miss?' You tell her you want to help everyone improve their writing. 'Why'd you use green?' 'Because red is intimidating! I want you to see all my comments as positive. Praise, and constructive criticism.' 'This is such a short thing you made us do, though.' 'All writing is an opportunity to practice and improve, Cynthia! Don't forget, your essays are due in four weeks!' [[You leave her desk resolved to win her over.|week2rollon]]

You hand Rachel her page. 'Oh my God, you wrote more than me. I'm so embarrassed!' 'It's okay, Rachel. We're still getting the hang of persuasive writing! Now glue your paragraph into your book so you don't lose -' 'That's a really nice pen! What other colours do you have?' You gesture at your pencil case. After your first week, when you so often couldn't find a whiteboard marker or your students didn't bring a pen, you've come prepared. She squeals. 'A PURPLE PEN! Can I borrow it, Miss? Pleeeeease?!' [[You give her the pen and leave her desk, wondering.|week2rollon]]

It's your last day with the Year Eights. Everyone is working on their drafts or their essays. It's been an interesting few weeks, and you've worked hard, but you've enjoyed it. Five minutes before the bell rings for lunch, [[Rachel puts up her hand.|epilogue2]]

'What's up, Rachel?' 'Miss, I wrote something. Do you have some time after class to read it?' Has Rachel done her essay already? Good on her for turning it around! 'Yeah, no problem!' [[The bell goes. |epilogue3]]

<img src = "https://www.urbanflower.com.au/images/products/large/ual3qh9s9l.jpg" /> You hand everyone a chocolate on their way out. 'Thanks for being part of my class, Year Eight! You've taught me a lot!' 'Thanks, Miss!' 'Good luck, Miss!' Soon, only Rachel is left, holding [[her open computer|epilogue4]] to her chest.

You lean closer. She's written paragraphs and paragraphs. But the formatting choices... this doesn't look like an essay... 'Chapter One: Matoko and Me. '"Can you pass me the chips?" I asked my best friend. We were hanging out in her bedroom at our monthly sleepover. Attack on Titan was playing off her laptop. At times like this, you'd never guess we weren't normal teens. But Mako and me had superpowers.' Unbelievable. Rachel has written a novel. She's looking at you expectantly. Respond as... [[her teacher|epilogue5]]. [[a writer|epilogue6]].

If she can write this much and this well, where on earth is her essay?! But this is probably the last time you'll see her, and she's trusting you with something really personal. '[[Rachel... this is an incredible effort.|epilogue6]]'

'Is this your first novel, Rachel?' She adjusts her glasses shyly. 'That is a fantastic goal! I'm sure you'll get heaps of that book done in the next two weeks!' She smiles. 'I really like writing, Miss.' You could say something about how hard it is to be a writer; how your three novels are still drowning in agents' slushpiles; how she needs to focus on her essay; how her grammar needs work. But you don't. Truth be told, you're just happy that she likes writing. 'I do, too, Rachel. Enjoy your holidays.' THE END. [[Return to start|How to play]]

<img src = "https://static1.squarespace.com/static/54bde334e4b06fad9ba76db0/t/54bdee5fe4b06b2bad9955e3/1421733474579/" /> I admire Cynthia's originality here. She has thought carefully about her position, and her reasons for looking out for oneself first are certainly valid: standing up against prejudice can get would-be heroes hurt, embroiled in a conflict, or ostracised from their communities. She has used two rhetorical questions: 'do you want to get into trouble?' being the basic format of both. Her use of the Holocaust as evidence for extreme prejudice and consequences for standing up against it is a powerful example, but she has not accounted for possible rebuttals to her arguments: for instance, the fact that many people in the Holocaust did stand up for others in secretive ways, and got away with it. Her TEEL/PEAL structure is strongly defined, however; she has effectively signposted her three main points in both her introduction and topic sentences. Now... [[Here's what this may imply for my teaching practice.|final]] [[See what Ami wrote.]]

'Miss! Only nine days left! Have you seen the promos?!' 'Nine days until what, Ami?' 'Season Three of The Good Place!' 'Do you know, I've been so busy, I haven't had time to keep up with Netflix? Thanks for the reminder, I'll enjoy that on the holidays. Now, how is your essay going?' 'I'm doing okay, Miss.' [[See what Ami wrote.]] [[Check on Rachel.|Rachel3]] [[Check on Cynthia.|Cynthia3]]

<img src = "https://www.mcclellandcollege.vic.edu.au/images/banner-fullwidth.jpg" /> Your second week has flown by! Let's see... [[what the kids thought|kidreview2]]. [[what your mentor thought|mentorrev2]]. [[how you felt about your own progress|reflection2]].

<img src = "https://www.mcclellandcollege.vic.edu.au/images/banner-fullwidth.jpg" /> WEEK THREE Your students have really got to get going on those essays this week! Using a scaffolding document provided by your mentor, they begin their drafts. But they still have many concerns, and you're worried that some might not have retained your lessons at all. You decide to keep a bit of an FAQ written on the board, so you can spend your time roaming around the classroom more effectively. This includes an explanation of TEEL, a few key persuasive techniques, and some reminders about audience, tone, style and purpose. After checking on a few students who needed a boost to get started, you go to check on... [[Ami's progress|Ami3]]. [[Rachel's progress|Rachel3]]. [[Cynthia's progress|Cynthia3]].

After last week's progress, you decide to focus on... [[using more interesting, concise and relevant examples.|talkietalk]] [[classroom management]].

On Thursday, you teach your students about making careful choices with form, tone, style, purpose and audience, to increase the power of their arguments. 'I just finished writing a novel for children -' A few students applaud you! '- but some of my readers said the vocabulary was too difficult. So I need to change my style to suit my audience. Matt, if I was writing to the council to fix the road, what shouldn't I do?' <img src = "https://www.connexionfrance.com/var/connexion/storage/images/media/images/pothole-on-random-road/583100-1-eng-GB/pothole-on-random-road_articleimage.jpg" /> Small, green-eyed Matt takes a moment to process this. 'You shouldn't use slang. Or swear. And you need a proper... like, a formal letter structure.' 'Right! That's brilliant, Matt! You need to be polite and direct if you want to convince the council to fix the road.' You can tell they're really listening to you now. You're feeling... [[proud of your progress|ENDWEEK2]]. ready to tackle [[classroom management]].

Your mentor says you need to talk less, and manage the room better. This week, you're going to... [[be tougher when students are disruptive.]] [[wait for silence when students are talking over you.]]

When all the other students are writing their essay plans, you notice a boy at the back being quite loud. You've warned him once already today. [['Move seats, please. You're disturbing the rest of the room.'|Kade]]

Your mentor has encouraged you to try stopping and waiting for attention - so today, you stop in the middle of explaining a concept and you wait. And you wait. And you wait. Two boys are still talking. Then one of them looks up. 'Ron!' he whispers to his friend. Ron turns around. 'Thanks, guys. Now when we write an introduction...' Awesome! It worked! Now you want to... [[be tougher when students are disruptive.]] [[concentrate on talking less|talkietalk]]. [[concentrate on this one skill for now|ENDWEEK2]].

'No.' You look for your mentor, then remember she has gone to the photocopier in the English office. She won't be back before class ends. Well, that didn't work. You want to... [[try waiting for silence|wait for silence when students are talking over you.]]. [[concentrate on talking less|talkietalk]]. [[forget it and move on|ENDWEEK2]].

Oh dear. Rachel is a lovely presence to have in the classroom, but she has done more Japanese calligraphy than English writing on her page. 'What's happening here, Rachel?' 'I can't think right now, Miss. It's the last week of term. My brain is moosh.' 'Reckon you'll have it done by the end of the holidays?' 'Umm... suuure I will...' [[Check on Cynthia.|Cynthia3]] [[Check on Ami.|Ami3]]