You should know by now that there's really only one way you’re getting out of this alive now and that's with a stomach full of pizza. You're into deep now to stop. Not unless you wanna' hang up the phone? You should know how that ends. You're going to [[Starve to death]].
It's a brave approach.... for both of you. How can Harry a man absent of any meaningful emotional experiences for most of his adult life except to offer life changing advice to a pizza delivery boy named Kieth who decides to throw himself into his own oven the moment his gal' realises what a loser he actually is.\n\nHarry stares intently into the full length mirror in front of him, staring himself down as rather forcibly tell Keith that he needs to change. Rather as though he's talking to himself just as much he is Keith. \n\n\n//Change? Why should I have to be the one to change, my lifes right on track... What more could I possibly want in my life, free pizza, steady job and well up untill recently steady girl on my arm.// \n\nHe's got a point Harry you have none of these things. Hell you don't even have free pizza you can't even buy one without causing a guy to kill himself. \n\n//You tell me to change, what do you have aye! Who are you to talk, you've got nothing. I at least had something.//\n\nI suppose at least you don't have a desire to kill yourself. \n\nHarry shrugs his shoulders at this realisation.\n\n*[[I don't have a desire to kill myself]] \n
Harry begins to shake physically as the words tumble out of his mouth. The thought of a person taking such a large commitment and tying themself into something like a woman!.... well it's almost brought harry to his Knees, or maybe It's the lack of pizza in said Knee's \n\nI think It's a combination of both. Either way Harry quickly reaches out around him searching for something, anything to support himself and then quickly remeber he doesn't own any furniture apart from his [[couch]] which is currently out of reach.\n\n//Don't say the word man! c'mon// \n\nYou come crashing to the floor with a thump and the reciever clatters across the floor. \n\n[img[Crashes to the floor.jpg]]\n\nWell that wasn't overly dramatic at all was it Harry?\n\n//Hey man are you okay? Sounds like you fell over or something ... That's exactly how I feel whenever I think of the M.... word//\n\nYou crawl over to the reciever, you're legs no longer able to support you're sports man like physice after the shock of discussing such major marital commitments. \n\nWhat are you going to do now Harry? I don't think we should bring up the question of marriage again... neither of you reacted well to it being brought up. \nLets take some smaller steps, especially as you don't appear to be able to make any steps at the moment. \n\n*[[Pick up the phone reciever]] \n\n*[[Take a moment to compose yourself]]\n\n\n\n
Panting heavily from the effort of dragging yourself toward the reciever, you apologise down the phone.\n\n//It's okay I understand marrige is terrifying, that's why she had her name spelled ouit in olives... lets just stay away from that subject. //\n\nBut isn't that the problem? If both of you continue to simply steer clear of anything meaningful in your life. Where will that get you It hasn't worked out so well for either of you thus far. \n\nSpending an evening trying to stop a pizza boy from killing himself in order so he can cook you a pizza (which no doubt is the only reason you hadn't considered doing the same this evening)... well it doesn't really paint the picture of a man who's doing much with his life. \n\n\n*[[No you have to stop running away from you're problems Keith, that's why Chloe ran away from you you're to afraid to commit to anything, you're just like me and we both need to change!]]\n\n
BODY {background-color:grey;}
You stare into the mirror as though seeing yourself for the frist time. Who'd have though that ordering a 10' mighty meaty would have led to some life changing revelations such as this. \n\n[img[Reflection.jpg]]\n\nYou're hands pull at the ragged clothes falling ill fittingly from you're sagging posture. \n\n"Need To Change"\n\nYou stroke you're rough unshaven cheeks taking into account how pale you look. \n\n"Need To Change"\n\nAnd finally you cast a glance at your surroundings. The damp soulless flat you've had the misfortune to call your home thus far. \n\n"Need To Change"\n \n//It just isn't that simple though. What do I change? I'm happy with my life... at least I thought I was.//\n\nYou take a deep sigh, it’s time you finally admitted the truth, it’s the only way to get through to the both of you now. \n\n\n*[[I thought I was happy also, but talking to you has made me realise quite simply how pathetic I am, how pathetic we are!]]\n \n*[[I was just here for the pizza I don't need this sort of stress in my life.]]
Harry has long since lost all contact with any family he could still possess... even is mother. C'mon keeping in touch with your family would require talking to your family!? \n\nHarry finds it hard to even talk to himself let alone other people. \n\n\n<<back>>\n
//Jesus listen to you! You're trying to wheedle your way out of this one aswell. You sound just like she did! No one gives a damn about me so long as they get what they want and all she wanted to do was get away from and all you want to do his stop me from killing myself just long enough to cook you so damned pizza!// \n\nShe! Right finally we're getting somewhere so this is all over a woman, makes sense really. This poor sod clearly has [[no friends]] no strong life ambition, sounds like a girl would be the only good thing in his life and well when that's gone no wonder you're going to want throw you're head in the nearest oven you can find. \n\nHarry can feel his tounge sticking to the roof of his now very dry mouth, Harry's never had any meaningful relationship himself and now he's faced with the task of playing 'Dr phill' down the phone to a chronically depressed pizza boy who's facing the barrel of a gun. Now dear player both keith and Harry's lives are in your next words. \n\n*[[So you're going to kill yourself over some girl? Everyone gets broken hearted at some point in their life but you can't let it beat you.]]\n\n*[[Uh,, Uhh,, are you going to cook me a damned pizza?]]
Really this is the decision you've decided to make? Even after all we've been through together so far. When we started this evening we we're terrified by the noise of a rumbling stomach, we made the fantastic culinary decision of pizza over curry only to discover that the man tasked with delivering said curry was on the cusp of taking his own life due to a broken heart, something we managed toi save him from due to us 'rabbiting' on for so long (seriously I know I joked about it earlier Harry but maybe you should consider a career within the Samaritans.) \n\nYet even after all that when clearly more than talk is needed and actual physical action needs to take place, you lack the will or curiosity to [[Grab your coat]]. Well no doubt you can see where this is going. \n\nDrawing inspiration from you're obvious proactive action o remain sat on your arse rather than make a move to save a man's life, Keith finally comes to the conclusion that there is no one neither Harry nor Chloe on this world worth sticking around for and throws himself into his pizza oven and enjoys an agonizingly excruciating and somewhat overly dramatic death. \n\nOf course Keith's immediate exit from this world renders him unable to delivery any pizza including yours! Lacking in any sustenance of the evening inevitably results in your own \n[[death|DIE]]
\n\n__30 Minutes or Death __
Hmmm? Not sure whether insulting the poor guys name was where I saw this going. Nice one Harry. \n\nA prolonged silence greets you're statement. (I can practically hear that igniter clicking on the oven.) \n\nIt would appear Harry's opinion has finally broken the man's resolve.....No wait! A long sigh does eventually come from the receiver before the pizza boy responds. \n\n//Man you're right! I have a terrible name.// \n\nA broken tear strained laugh follows this statement. It's a strange sound to hear from a man who's threatening to stone bake himself. \n\n //No one's ever been honest enough to tell me before. I gotta' say man I respect you for telling it like it is. Maybe thats's the reason why...'Keith'...fuck //\n\nThe pizza boys voice trails away. He seems to be deep in thought now. At least he's distracted good job Harry! \n\nWell this is a surprise seems like a little honesty seems to go a long way with this guy. Keep pushing him Harry. We're cooking with gas now. (s'quse the pun')\n\n*[[The reason for what?]]
Set it to gas-mark six I believe 20-30 minutes and you'll have yourself one perfectly roasted pizza delivery boy. \n\n<<back>>
Harry breathes in deep. grumpling to himself he stands up and dusts himself down, you curse as you notice a fresh tare In you favourite [[Zelda T-shirt]] and you still are no closer to getting any pizza and well it's all Keiths fault. Stupid Keith with his stupid name and his stupid broken heart!\n\nI think Its about time we went down their and finished this thing face to face. What do you reckon Harry? \n\n*[[Grab your coat]]\n\nActually that sounds like a lot of effort doesn't it I mean you gotta put you're shoes on and [[walk]] all the way there, I'm sure we can still talk him round over the phone. Is he really worth all that effort?\n\n*[[Pick up the phone....eventually]]
Leaving the reciever lying on the floor with poor old Kieth still stammering down the other end trying to find out wether you're still alive or not? You storm past it. \n\n//Hello? you still there hey, dude what's going on?// \n\nThe time for talk is clearly over, when physical injury starts to come into the question it's time to take some action. You grab you're coat hanging up by the door (by hanging up I mean laying in a crumpled heap on the floor). \n\nNow fully equipped with you're ragged jacket you storm toward the front door.\n\n[img[Ragged Jacket.jpg]]\n\n//Well great someone else who's just walked out on me...//\n\nYou stop with your hand hovering over the door handle. \n\nThat doesn't sound good Keith is clearly of the opinion that you've just given up on him and well after that fall I wouldn't blame you for doing so. Maybe you should let him know you're on ya' way, although if you do that he may make a run for it? But if you don't he may be a slightly a little more toasty by the time you get there.\n\nWhat are you going to do Harry? \n\n\n*[[Head to the pizzeria and deal with this face to face...but run.]]\n\n*[[Let Keith know you're on your way]]\n\n
The pizza boy slams down the receiver, leaving Harry to sit in the dull silence of his empty cold apartment. The only sound to permeate the room is that hum coming from the empty refrigerator and the occasional growl from Harry's stomach, although it now seems a lot less violent. As I believe like Harry it too has now given up all hope on receiving any food today. \n\nNo doubt that poor depressed pizza boy who was clearly only reaching out for help. (Even if he was a ass hole about it) Is now [[climbing into his pizza oven]] as you read this and will simply become yet another lost soul to be swallowed up by the life sapping darkness of the modern urban jungle. \n\nI guess we'll never know why he was so enthusiastic about ending his life. Because of which Harry has been left with no choice but [[Order a curry]] something which we were quite adverse to the idea of earlier. \n\nMaybe letting the Pizza boy take his own life wasn’t the correct thing to do after all. \n\n\n<<back>>
At a complete disregard to your own personal safety Harry plunges his hands into the oven and pulls Keith out of the oven. you pull a fire extinguisher of the wall opposite the oven and move quickly to put the fire snaking across Keith’s body out. \n\n[img[Heroics.jpg]]\n\nWith the fire extinguished, you drop the extinguisher and collapse to Keith's side, his body is badly burned as are your hands. However Keith is defiantly smiling, despite the agonising pain he must surely be in due to his burns there is no doubt a large smile stretching his face. \n\n//You saved my life?//\n\nHarry nods slowly, breathing heavily you're detest for Keith increasing and the pain in you're arms finally comes alive. \n\n//I can't believe it, someone actullay thought enough of me to rush down here.... you even burned you're hands!....all to save me. I guess this world is worth it after all.//\n\nWell done Harry you've saved a life this evening, not only that you've restored a mans faith in the world with you're actions and in doing so possibly changed you're own outlook on the world? \n\n//So how about that mighty meaty Harry?//\n\nKeith struggles to his feet groaning due to his injuries but he reaches for a ten in crust all the same. \n\nAt long, long, last you've finally got you're pizza! boy do you deserve it. although ti did take considerably longer than 30 minuites but Io wouldn't bring that up with Keith... not yet anyway. \n\n THE END
You hold the reciever in you're hand still reluctent to speak into it yet again. Is this guy really worth all the effort? Not only that he's pratically putting you're life in danger now. You could have fallen and broken you're neck. \n \n//Hey man are you still there?\n\n*[[I thought I was happy also, but talking to you has made me realise quite simply how pathetic I am, how pathetic we are!]]
It's got to be right surely, anyway right feels like going downhill so It's the preferable decision if we're going to be running the whole way there.\n\nWith the decision made (hopefully It's the correct one, but then Harry was never any good when it came to [[Orienteering]] at school and I can't see why now would be any better) Harry sets of a full pelt, mustering all physical ability that remains to him (I'm going to be honest it's little more than a hobble). \n\nAfter some aimless wandering for what seems to have been a good long while (although Harry hasn't got the greatest of attention spans) you eventually come to a stop at a dead end ally way populated by nothing but a dead cat and a few over flowing bins.\n\nIt would appear my poor unfortunate Harry that once again choosing the easy option (Going down hill) has clearly been the wrong option as their appears to be no Bounce’s in sight and no doubt by now Keith will be sliding out of the other side of that toasting oven a slightly less lifeless soul than he was a few hours ago. \n\nMaybe we should have gone left \n [[Left]].
Following a baffling encounter with a tiny Asian fellow with a very heavy accent, you finally sit down to your bountiful feast of the[[finest cuisine]] that the Baked Bahoura has to offer. \n\nHowever dear player you were warned of the risks that would accompany a curry and well as a result you spend the remainder of your evening perched a-top a porcelain throne as the accumulated condense of what feels like the past ten years empties into the basin beneath. \n\nYour vision blurs and a cold clammy sweat clutches at your forehead as time seems to pass you buy in a haze and just the king before you, you leave this mortal earth sat on a throne very much suited to your position in this world.... \n\nIn short you got killed of by a bad curry!\n\n<<back>>
That's a good start Harry, take it slow now baby steps remeber we're making this up as we go along, but it doesn't seem to be to dificult so far. Maybe you should start you're own [[advice column]] Harry!\n\n//Change! you think I'm the one who needs to change? She left me, It's all her fault. I was the perefect boyfriend! Strong career prospects, faithful and as much free pizza as she could ever want. What more can you ask for in a guy? Especially during this day and age... I mean I'm a damn site improvment on some one like you! offense// (Non- taken, Harry know's he's a bum and he revels in it!. \n\n//But what on earth could I need to change? Except maybe my stupid name. //\n\nHe's clearly still hurting over that insult you made earlier about the name.\n\nThis guy however is clearly delusional if he thinks he's the model of man, I'm starting to see why this gal did leave. Career prospects? Straight up Bounce’s corporate ladder, how inspired. 'Keith' clearly needs some home truths brought home to here for his own good and the sake of any single women left in this town..... Just try not to lay it on too think, remember the situation we're in. The pizza is on the line. \n\nHarry stands in silence for a few moments mulling his words over before answering. \n\n*[["C'mon man who are you kidding? There's got to be more to it than that. No woman could be that shallow surely!|You've need to take control of yourself. You've got to change. ]]\n
You made the smart decision Harry well done.. even If It's the cowardly one. \n\nBut then did you honestly expect Harry to change at all.. Really, once a coward who's afraid of the world always a coward aye? \n\nYou eventually succumb to the heavy smoke pressing in on you and not wanting to risk you're life any more than you already have done. You bravely turn your tail and run. Forever leaving Keith and his unknown fate as mystery in the back of your mind. \n\n....After what feels like the longest walk of Harry's entire life. You eventually end up back in your flat. Having accomplished literally nothing, no pizza and especially no Keith.[[static]]. Your stomach makes a loud grumbling noise once again.\n\nDo you really want the tale of Keith and Harry to end so undramatically dear player? \n\nYou could have always [[Keep searching the store for any sign of Keith]].
You turn from the door and scrape the phone up from the floor and waiting for a break in the tyrade of curses now spewing from Keith on the other end. He finally stops to take a breath and you use this opportunity to tell him that you've quite simply had enough of enough of this phone conversation and it's getting neither of you anywhere! It's time to finish this face to face. \n\n//Dont you dare come here man I don't wanna' see anyone, as soon as you get of the phone I swear I'm jumping in that oven. Actually Im doing it anyway you don't really care for me you're just coming here for the pizza.... and it aint even that great!// \n\nWell he didn't respond well to that did he, I don't think we should waste anymore time here and maybe e should get down there soon as, there may still be time to save this guy! \n\nWho'd have thought a girl could cause so much trouble aye! You've clearly been better of having nothing to do with them so far Harry. \n\n*[[Lets get moving then!]]\n\n
You utter coward Harry. \n\n[img[Utter Coward.jpg]]\n\n\nWell make you're decision wisley, as you stand infront of the rows of freezers, the hum from the harsh night lighting does little to mask the cries of agnoy and roraring flames now emitting from across the street. \n\nThe store clerk rushes to the front door, leaving the shop unattended and Harry sheepishly slinks out with a frozen 10' pizza under one arm and alook of complete guilt on his face. The store clerk is clealry contacting the emergancy services. He's at least a man of action, but you know It's too late the damage is done. You had the chance to save poor old Keith from himself, instead you're stomach got the better of you. \n\nWell this dear reader is where the story somewhat undramatically ends, you had the option to do something with you're life Harry to be some one! You've thrown it away and as a result there is now one less Keith in this cruel world. But at least Harry now has a full stomach of stale frozen cheap ass' pizza. \n\nAs apposed to fresh, melty cheesy warm gooey goodness I'm sure Keith would have had the ability to dish up! I guess we'll never know now. \n ----------------------\n\nI hope you're happy with yourself dear player and If you've been somewhat dissapointed with this ending I suggest you hit tha back button and try being a little more adventurous!
What the hell is that noise?\n\n<<back>>
So you're going for the direct approach. I Like it and hopefully he will too, if anything at least we should find out the name of the life we're trying so hard to save. \n\n//uugh, the names Keith.//\n\n[img[Keith.jpg]]\n\nHarry coughs down the phone quite deliberatly. \n\n//What? Why did you cough when you heard my name? People awlays do that! What is wrong with the name Keith?!// \n\n(It's not a great name I'm starting to see why this guy is in the posistion he is. But that's beside the point. C'mon Harry concentrate!). We Can still save this situation Harry, what you going to do? \n \n*[[Well I can't lie to you Keith, It's a pretty terrible name.]]\n\n*[[Cough' cough', nah It's nothing go on.]]\n\n \n\n\n\n
That’s the spirit take hold of Harry's miserable life and do something worthwhile for once! Save the life of some poor unfortunate soul... as long as Is it isn’t too late. \n\nHarry scrambles across the floor reinvigorated possibly by the thought of saving another life, but more probably by the thought that he may be rewarded with some free pizza. \n\nHarry clutches the receiver in his hand and hammers home on the re-dial button. The long wait begins once again. \n\n"Ring"....."Ring"......."Ring"....\n\nThe seconds pass, Harry's mouth becoming dryer with each passing beat. The rumbling in his stomach becoming louder as though judging you for your previous actions. \n\n"Ring"...."Ring"......."Ring"....\n\nStill now answer. It seems as though you've left it too late this time Harry. Also coming to this conclusion Harry lets the receiver fall to the floor and fully excepting the consequences of What u've done.. Tears start to tumble down his cheeks. \n\nWow I never thought it possible such emotion! From our usually stalwart hero. Yet as the old saying goes " In for a penny in for a pound" once you've started you cant stop and Harry simply lay there balling his eyes out. \n\n [[Like a baby crying to It's mothers breast]] the tears come pouring out and the gllomy pit of disspear Harry liked to call his castle is for once filled with the life of emotion! \n\nCeased only when Harry hears a feint voice coming from the corner of the room\n\n\n//Sir could you stop crying and please place an order?// \n\nHarry immediatly clams up and picks up the reciever. \n\nOh thank God he still here, well quick now player here is your oppertunity! \n\n*[[Why are you going to kill yourself?]]\n \n\n
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It's dirty, tiny and cheap, the perfect pad for such an obvious eligible bachelor as yourself.\n\n[img[Bedsit.jpg]]\n\n\n<<back>>\n
(Due to it not having a working Ariel for quite some time.) \n\n[img[static.jpg]]\n\n<<back>>
Harry fed of getting nowhere with Keith via this seemingly never ending phone conversation. So you finally are taking action into your own hands and fearing that Keith may do the same were he to know you were on your way you decide to keep him guessing for now at least until you get there. \n\nHarry wrenches the front door to his crummy apartment open and strides across the thresh hold slamming the door and leaving stammering aimlessly down the phone to a now empty apartment. \n\n//C'mon man I thought we were just starting to get to know each other and now you bale on me! we talked so much, well you know what fuck you Harry and fuck Chloe, Just fuck every one I've had enough of this place.// \n\nThe phone at last goes dead. It would appear that Harry really is racing against the clock now. \n\nOn the other side of the door Harry races down the stairs of his apartment block, ignoring the shouts of his disgruntled Landlord as you pass him on the stairs, (by pass I mean nearly send him hurtling to his death over the banister). \n\nPanting heavily after just a few paces at this quicken pace (that diet of pizza and curry is finally paying of harry!) you emerge in to the dim streets below. Peering through the smog and haze ever present within this solemn metropolis, you're eyes eventually fall on rusted and bruised Honda sitting so alone within the unlit alley way next to your building, but Harry doesn't own a Honda. However if you don't commandere that vehicle purely with the intent of saving a man's life. you may not make it there on time. I doubt Harry really has it in him to sprint the massive distance of the two blocks to the pizzeria. \n\n\n\n*[[Steal that Honda]]\n\n[img[that honda.jpg]]\n\n*[[Make a run for it]]\n
In a move most unlike anything Harry has ever attempted before, but thanks to you dear player Harry shows an act of persistance. \n\nSomething must be written in the stars for dear old harry as he dials the number again. \n\nThe same voice greets you, although this time theres a slight tone of annoyance to it. \n\n//I said were closed! Now fuck off!// \n\nYou better be ready with a response this time otherwise we're never going to get any food. \n\n*[[I just wanna' order a pizza]]\n\n*[[Its friday night how can you be closed?|Why dont you want my business?]]
Sarcasm may be lost here. \n\n<<back>>
A woman juggling a baby in one arm and scrambling for a set of keys in her purse with the other comes striding out of a building opposite clearly in a rush, she's making a B-line for that Honda Harry if you're going to steal it you have to act now. \n\nHarry stands in the middle of the street mulling over his options, can you really steal a car from a poor single mother for the sake of saving the lowly life of some pathetic pizza delivery boy named Keith? \n\nBy now she's reached the drivers passengers door and is struggling to fit the key into the lock. Time to make a decision is quickly evaporating, what's it going to be Harry? \n\n*[[Continue to steal the Honda]]\n\n*[[Make a run for it]] \n
Late night Monday evenings aren't always the bussiest of opening hours for 'Boucci's and I think Keith knows that If Harry hangs up he aint getting another chance. \n\n<<back>>
You finally drag yourself to your feet in search of some sustenance. You stagger over to the corner of the bedsit that could be designated a [[kitchen]]. Opening the fridge your nostrils are beaten back by a [[God awful stench]], the fridge remains dark, there's no warm little glow and accompanying hum of the internal motor. \n\nClearly, along with much of the other appliances within your humble abode this fridge is broken! No sustenance to be found here. Met by this revelation you quickly scan about the room for any possible food source. Your eyes quickly resting on the telephone lying on the floor in an unlit corner of the bedsit. Could you be saved? \n\n\n*[[Order a take out]]\n\n*[[Starve to death]]
Commit? I don't think that's a word that's ever entered Harry's vocabulary before. A look of shock grace's Harrys face at the words coming out of his mouth. \n\nThis path of posostive thinking is clearly having an effect on the both of you. \n\n//Commit! What on earth do you know about commitment?//\n\nHe's got a point there Harry I don't know hwo you're going to be able to convince this guy he needs to commit more when you've never commited to anything yourself. \n\nHarry starts to pace back and forth again, pratically taring his hair out as he tries in vein to get through to this guy. \n\n//I bet you've never commited to anything in you're entire life have you? It's scary man... I couldn't do it Pizza was all I had in me man.. I know it's pathetic but I just wasnt' ready to have her move in or... or... even//\n\nHis voice tails off I reluctent to even say the word that's on both of your minds.\n\nMarrige \n\n[img[church.jpg]]\n\n*[[Gettin' married?]]\n\n
The phone rings for a long time. Has he already done the deed? Harry hopes this isn't the case having heard dubious things about the hygiene standards of the local curry house. \n\n[img[Hygine.jpg]]\n\nEventually the phone is answered. A broken a teary voice comes out of the receiving end. \n\n//Hello bonucci's Pizzeria, can I take your order?//\n\nIt would appear the delivery man has either decided against taking his own life In favour of cooking some pizza (although judging by the sound of his voice this is rather unlikely) propably more likely faced with his inveitable demise his brain has stopped functioning and has reverted to doing what It knows.... How to sell pizza. \n\nNow you could take advantage of this situation and simply place an order for a 10" Meat Feast and hope that the orders processed before he clocks of for the final time, or you could do something quite unlike something Harry has ever done before and actually show some compassion in trying to save this poor pizza boy's life. Whats more important to you?\n\n*[[Can I get a 10 inch Meat Feast Pizza please]]\n\n*[[Saving the life of this poor pizza boy|Why are you going to kill yourself?]]
I've never known a stomach to cause such a comotion as we experienced earlier, even as the disembodied narrator that I am I was terrified at what could have possibly been in that cuboard judging by the noises eminating from Harry's gut. \n\n<<back>>
You really put your heart and soul into that! Well done Harry your [[Mother]] would be proud. \n\nWell been as we've given up the search may as well just get back to what we were doing. \n\n*[[stare at the TV]]
It's the best point we have to go with. He may have had a girl a job and a few bucks in his back pocket, but you Harry have a [[reason to live]].\n\nOnce more you're comment is met with a long pause (It's lucky this is an of peak rate call). \n\n//Well aint that the truth of it.//\n\nMore silence. \n\n//But It was all going so well, we were celebrating our on year anniversary, I'd even spelled Chloe, that's her name by the way in olives on her a bbq base her favourite. We we're going to go to the park and eat it, so romantic don't you think?// \n\nWell isn't he just you're regular Casanova. I imagine seeing her name writtien in olives is exactly the sort of big commitment that Chloe was expecting from a one year engagment. \n\n*[[Pizza?! you've spent the best part of a year with this woman and all you have to show for it was a few measly olives.... What's the matter with you! You need to commit c'mon man you we're thinking too small that's why she's left you!]]
Hmmmm, maybe we should keep the conversation aimed toward the man who's about get slow roasted. Although Harry does seem to be relishing the fact that he's on the cusp of doing something useful with for what up until now has been a fairly univentval existence.\n\nNot sure how this pizza boy's going to like it though he seems to be mainly thinking about himself at the moment. \n\n//Yeah maybe you're right, but then again maybe you're just trying to convince me to cook your stupid pizza before I cook myself?//\n\nUh oh I don't like the sound of that, you’re saying all the wrong things here Harry. Even if it is true and u'd fancy a pizza over actually accomplishing something either way we need to keep him talking. \n\n//Face it man you're just like every other scumbag in this town. Only looking out for your self and using others just as an end to some means. Why should I waste anymore time talking to you?// \n\n[[People are always going to be scum! but you can't let it get ontop of you like this, what's really eating you?....uuuh hell I dont even know your name?]]\n\n\n
Even Harry at this point is having a hard time believing this selfless attitude that appears to have over taken him. This really is something quite unlike Harry has ever experienced before and It's all down to you. \n\nA sense of anticipation starts to fill Harry as he eagrly awaits the response of the poor depressed pizza boy. One might actually believe that Harry's intentions could be to save the a life rather than simply get a 10" mighty meaty. \n\n//Really?//\n\nThe voice comes over calm and slightly broken up, I think you may have actually reached this guy. Clearly this guy shares your feeling of disbelief, such acts of selflessness are clearly a rarity in this town.\n\n//But no one in this town ever wants to help anyone! Everyones always out for themselves.//\n\n\nWas that a question? The pizza boy seems to be waiting for a response, remember we've gotta' keep him talking otherwise they may never cook another pizza! Again.\n\n\n*[[Maybe I'm different, just maybe I'm actually intersted in saving your life]]\n\n*[[C'mon life can't be that bad can it?]]\n
\nHey It's everyman for himself in this cruel world and It could be argued that the selfishness of this suicdal pizza boy is endangering your own life. If you dont get some fat drenched pizza into your rather aggresively [[rumbling stomach]], well then I shudder to think what the outcome could possibly be and hopefully we'll never have to know. \n\n//Any sides or salads with that?//\n\nWho's gunna know that you sold the life of this poor man for 10"s of meat caked pizza. He was going to kill himself wether you interviened or not wasn't he? \n\nWell he still on the phone It isn't to late to change your mind and try and save the poor tortured soul.\n\n*[[Just the Meat Feast]]\n\n*[[Why are you going to kill yourself?]]
Rather the thought of the effort required to find the number and place an order for the local curry house has Harry holding on hope that Bounce’s will eventually provide him with the sustenance he so desperately needs.\n \n<<back>>
A dirty sink nestled next to an overflowing sink surrounded by the splattered walls of Harry's past attempts to feed himself. It's a prsitine convenience. \n\n[img[kitchen.jpg]]\n\n\n<<back>>
Favourite possibly due to the fact that It's the one carrying the least number of stains.....I'm guessing but i doubt I'm wrong. \n\n<<back>>
You stagger to your feet swaying slightly (clearly the hours spent lounging on a crapped out old sofa have not done your calf muscles any good) blood rushes to your head and the room begins to[[spin]].\n\nThe loud [[Rumbling]] comes at you once again even louder this time. The force of it almost knocking you to the sofa (or could that be the effort required to stand up has left you feeling like a good 'sit down'). However still no obvious source has presented itself.\n\nMaybe you should keep looking? \n\n\n*[[sit back down]]\n*[[keep looking]]
Judging by the current state of your favourite Zelda shirt, this is something that you've never taken use of. \n\n<<back>>
You continue to stare at the TV, the [[Rumbling]] sound continues. A stabbing pain begins to eminate fro the pit of your stomach. Staring down at your stomach for any sign of the cause of the pain. Your gaze is met by another rumbling growl. It would appear your [[stomach is growling at you]]. \n\nWhat you guanna' do about it? Eat something or continue to stare at that damned television!\n\n*[[Eat something]]\n*[[I'm just getting into this|stare at that damned television]]
by Ben Monro
a {color: green !important }
lurching yourself into motion and begin to wander aimlessly about your [[Bedsit]], god this place is depressing isn't it. Clearly Harry has never heard of Ikea. \n\nYour aimless pursuit brings you to a full length mirror, hanging [[ominously]] from the door of a built in wardrobe (or second possible second bedroom, as It was sold to Harry). \n\nCatching yourself in the mirror you take what is a very brief and rare moment to take in your [[reflection]]. Standing there the rumbling noise comes again. It seems to be coming from the mirror? \n\nYou edge closer and closer until you have your nose pressed against the cold glass. \n\nEar pressed to the door and eerily silence fills the empty bedsit. There doesn’t seem to be anything on the other side of the door....."Guuuruughle" There it is the rumbling comes again! You jump back from the mirror as the noise reverberates of the glass when finally the answer dawns on you. The rumbling is the inevitable cry of an empty stomach!\n\nYou look down at your paunch stretching the greased stained football shirt and it gurgles in reply. \n\nOnly one answer to an empty stomach. \n\n\n*[[Eat something]]
Without another word to poor old heartbroken Keith you head out the apartment, slamming the door behind you. As the door closes with a slam you hear a shattering as the mirror you've spent much of your evening staring into comes crashing to the floor.... well that's slightly unlucky isn't it Harry I'm guessing that much like yourself you're apartment hasn't experienced such action in the past, it really is a true embodiment of Harry's personality. \n\nYou dodge your Landlord just outside your apartment, and ignoring his complaints about missed rent payments you fly down the stairs and bursting out into the dim smog filled street just outside you're apartment block. \n\n[img[flying.jpg]]\n\nPanting heavily, (c'mon Harry it was only one flight of stairs and you were' going down!) you scour the streets searching for any mode of transport that will get you to that pizzeria in time to save Keith's life. Unfortunately Harry doesn't own a car and the\nwell the buses stopped running a few hours ago. As if to run salt into the wounds an old battered Honda comes flying out of a side alley almost smearing poor Harry across its windscreen. I guess the only option left is to run? This is going to be interesting.\n\n\n*[[Make a run for it]]\n\n
You cold hearted bastard! Your willing to let this poor man die to simply satisfy the groaning of your stomach (Seriously I think Harry may want to schedule a Dr's appointment once this is over, I'm not sure It supposed to be making noises like that.) \n\nOk well you've made Harry's bed and now he's going to have to lie in it. \n\n//Ok sir, your order should be with you in 30 minites or less. Thank you fo choosing bonnuci's where we always add extra cheese!//\nThe phone clicks onto the receiver and a dull dial tone fills the empty air. \n\nWell finally the pizza is on its way. For the first time this evening a warm smile stretches Harry's face at the thought of the Pizza that must surely be rushing It's way toward you right now!\n\nBut wait?! He didn't take an address or payment details did he? Maybe It's because you've ordered from there before, they do that sorta' thing don’t they, don’t they? \n\nHarry stood their worrying over this fact himself, slowly the smile begins to slip from his face as Harry comes to the realisation that there isn't going to be any pizza, not from Bounce’s at least and well Harry had sold the life of a poor depressed pizza boy for a pizza he's going to be dead to deliver! \n\nWell the crushing depression that follows this slow realisation of the result of Harry's selfish actions and of course his un-relenting hunger cause Harry to crash to the floor. \n\nHis eyes dart around the room in a fever as you look for an escape from this gloomy situation, but no answer presents itself at least not until the phone receiver lying on the mound of unopened mail emitting a soft dialling tone comes into view. You couldn't place the life of another pizza boy at risk that's to terrible an option to even consider, even for a man lacking in as little emotion as Harry does. Then again you could always ring Bounce’s one more time and try and save the poor man. The only other option I can see Is to simply starve to death. What’s It going to be? \n\n*[[Ring Bonucci's one more time]]\n\n*[[Starve to death]]
A few soggy Bombay potatoes doused in madras sauce accompanied by what what could very loosely be termed a 'beef' (although I've never know cows to produce meat of such a vivid yellow color) curry all served on a fluorescent yellow bed of rice... Life has can present us with many a beautiful offering at times. \n\nHowever Harry I'd say this is not one of them. \n\n<<back>>
Yeah like Harry owns a car! \n\n<<back>>
[img[Title 30 minutes or death.jpg]]\n\nMeet Harry, \n\n\n [img[Harry.jpg]]\n\n\nHarry is a bum. No two ways about it, he lives in a tiny one bedroomed bedsit nestled deep within a towering gravy council block on the out skirts of some faceless lowlife crime run city populated by more people just like Harry. Harry spends most of his time thinking about how he's going to fill his time. \n\nWe find Harry dear player, doing what he does best which is exactly nothing. It's up to you to bring a little excitement to Harry's life are you up to the challenge? It won’t be easy Harry is a very boring person indeed! \n\nA loud gurgling rumble fills the empty air of the grotty one roomed [[Bedsit]]you unfortunately call home. Dragging your gaze from the uninterrupted stream of [[static]] issuing from your TV. You stare about the room in search of the sound. The [[Rumbling]] comes again even louder this time.\n\nSo are you going to just sit there and stare at the TV or are you going to get up and do something about it!?\n\n*[[look for the source]]\n*[[stare at the TV]]
Skin-tight shorts that barley reached the end of his thighs (no doubt a hand me down from some distant family member of a period in time when such things we're fashionable.) as his red faced P.E teacher screamed himself horse at Harry's ineptitude to read a a map during their weekly orienteering lessons. \n\n<<back>>\n
That's a good start Harry, honest good strong advice. We can at least pretend to know like you know what you're talking about. \n\n//That's easy for you to say! Clearly you've never had some skank tare you're heart out and rub it in the grease stained floor of you're uncles grimey pizzeria kitchen while you cry uncontrollably in the corner as the only good thing in you're life walks out the door with nothing but a little tinkle of a bell.// \n\nWell I don't think harry was excpecting that. I'm not sure If you're fully equipped to handle this Harry. Is it too late to back out now? \n\n*[[Man you're right that does sound truley awful!]] \n\n*[[I'm no expert on the matter and I that does sound pretty heart breaking! but if you throw yourself in that oven then she's won hasn't she. C'mon man there's gotta' be more in you're life to live for, maybe you just need a change.]]\n\n
You continue to sit staring at the TV ignoring the ever increasing cries of protest from your stomach. C'mon seriously this TV ain't doing anything and you might [[DIE]]! if you don't [[get some food|Eat something]].\n\n*[[get some food|Eat something]] \n*[[DIE]]\n\n
This is the second time Harry’s thought of his mother tonight, yet another abnormality to add to an ever increasing list. You have really stirred up trouble dear player. \n\n<<back>>
What's the matter whith you! C'mon we didnt' do all this just to watch the poor fellow burn in person. Now hit that back button and save his life, who cares about you're hands they've been pretty useless up untill now anyway. \n\n[img[burn.jpg]]
Hey the truth hurts right? Maybe the direct approach is the only way to get through to this guy.\n\n//Jesus Christ! Fuck you man, what sorta' guy Is more interested in stuffing his face with some pizza rather than saving another guys life!// \n\nThen again maybe not? I think Harry has succeeded in simply agrivating this guy rather than shcoking him into cooking a pizza. \n\nBefore you have the chance to respond, the pizza boy takes a choaked breath (It sounds as though he's fighting back some tears) and continues his rant down the phone. \n\n//It's people like you! You're the reason I wanna' kill myself! This world is filled with selfish, horrible, self centered jack asses' like yourself!//\n\nHarry begins to stammer down the phone. The words to stem this tyrade have clearly escaped you.\n\n//I don't even know why I'm continuing to waste my time explaining anything to you! As I'm sure your aware I've got stuff to do!//\n\nThat doesn't sound good If this Pizza boy puts down the phone then It's defiantly going to be for the last time. You have to keep him talking. But what do you say In a situation like this? \n\n*[[Let the pizza boy hang up the phone]]\n\n*[[I was joshing you man! C'mon seriously tell me what's up?]]
The decision is made! Ooh and It's a brave one. The curry houses of the surrounding areas have been known to leave their customers with a little more than just a stomach full of beef madras. \n\n[img[Hygine.jpg]]\n\nAre you really going to submit yourself to an evening spent evacuating your bowls in the shared toilet facilities housed within your 'Palace' maybe Pizza would present us with a a less exciting evening spent staring at a TV with no Ariel. \n\n*[[I like to live on the edge (order a curry)|Order a curry]]\n\n*[[Maybe I'll just order a pizza|Pizza]]
Good! lets try andd get to the bottom of this guys problem!\n\n// You have no idea how bad life is at the moment.... No Idea //\n\nOnce again the pizza boys voice trails off, hes pratically begging for you to ask him what his real problem is. \n\n*[[People are always going to be scum! but you can't let it get ontop of you like this, what's really eating you?....uuuh hell I dont even know your name?]]
//Oh yeah that's right your just another selfish chump who's only out for themselves, all you want is some damned fucking pizza! //\n\nWell this doesnt sound like the number of a rival pizzeria. \n\nThe now infuriated pizza man continues to rant down the phone to Harry, who inturn is growning increasingly more angry at the fact he still doesn't have any pizza.\n\n//See that the problem with this society! All we care about is ourselves, no one ever wants to look out for the dear neighbour! Aint you going to even ask me why? Why would I give you the number of a [[rival pizzeria]] when we could really do with the business ourselves. You aint even asked why!//\n\nWhat on earth is this guy on about? Harry now stands completely bewildered withe the reciever in his hand. \n\nMaybe you should ask him why. \n\n*[[Why?|Why dont you want my business?]]
//Cause I'm going to kill myself, thats whay I dont want any business.//\n\nOh. \n\n[img[Oh.jpg]]\n\n\n*[[Hang up the phone.]]\n\n*[[Why are you going to kill yourself?]]
You’re met once again with yet another grizzly end due to your reluctance to take charge of your life and do something! Lying on the floor of your grotty kitchenette, your life force slowly ebbs away and you [[DIE]] \n\nCurling into the foetal position, this is the state you will be found in two weeks’ time when the landlord inevitable comes banging down the door due to the many missed rent payments. \n\nOh what fickle lives we lead... \n\n<<back>>
What sort of guy spends this long on the phone to a complete stranger who'd rather stuff his face with pizza rather than trying to stop you from killing yourself? \n\nThis is a man who clearly doesn't get to speak his mind to a friend all that often. \n\n\n<<back>>
That's it just pamper him let him hear what he want's to hear. We'll partically be coaxing that pizza into the oven ourselves Harry we'll get there!\n\n//Just listen to you! you heartless bastard! Do you take me for some kind of idiot!.... I was being Sarcastic. No woman would ever be that shallow.... would she?// \n\nWell that plan went down like a led baloon. Maybe we should try a different tact? \n\n//Can't you have just a little heart you selfish bastard. I'm pratically pooring my heart out to you hear and your mind still on you're damned stomach.// \n\nHarry stares at his reflection in the mirror, standing profile admiring his stomach as though he can physically see it shrinking. \n\nClearly we need to remeber what's at [[stake]] here.\n\nTheres a pregnant pause as Harry open's his mouth once more to speak. Both he and Keith waiting eagerly to see what he has to say next.\n\n*[[Okay lets face the facts, you work in a dead end job, earning minimum wage even though you're uncle's the one paying you! You blame everyone else for everything that's worng in you're life, hell the only inspired thing I've heard you say all evening is how you're going to kill yourself in an oven that's pretty inventive! But you neeed to change!|You've need to take control of yourself. You've got to change. ]]
Well a man's life is at risk here and I'm sure she can afford to be late for work one day? Even if that's even where she's going! What if she's simply going down the store to buy alcohol to fuel here evil habits' technically by stopping here you'd be saving the life of a child as well. There's many ways you can justify this Harry (but no matter what you're still stealing a car).\n\nYou streak across the street toward the woman and throwing you're full weight into your shoulder you bowl the poor woman sending her and her child sprawling across the tarmac. She screams out but Harry has no time to stop and see if her or her child are alright. You snatch the keys from her grasp without another glance at her and run round the car to driver side door fumbling with the keys until you find the correct one as you move. \n\n[Img[keep stealing the honda.jpg]]\n\nYou wrench open the car door as cries of 'Help' and 'Thief' begin to fill the air from the woman. There is however no cries from the child, a pang of fear guilt fills Harry as he realises this although you made your decision to put the life of Keith first and well you've got to stick with it now. \n\nYou start the engine and quickly pull out of the alley way and way from the woman onto the main street outside you're apartment. the car screeches to a halt as you reach the end of the street and it suddenly dawns on you that you have no idea where 'Bounce’s Pizzeria' is. At the end of the road you can either turn left or right. \nharry begins to fret as time slowly slips by and he still sits there with the engine ticking over and he's still not made a decision and yet for every moment that passes it grows ever more likely that Keith is slowly being roasted alive. \nyou search around the car looking for anything that may reveal the location of the pizzeria. \n\nHarry (or Keith) must clearly be blessed... unlike that poor woman who's now Honda'less, as Harry's eyes fall upon a menu for Bounce’s with that cartoon slightly racist and stereotypical cartoon Italian man staring back at him and right next to him just so happens to be an extremely helpful map as to the location of the nearest Bounce’s chain restaurant (for those unwilling to rely upon the efficiency of their delivery service, well can you blame them). Well what to do next is surely obvious is it not now Harry? \n\n*[[Follow the map]]\n \n\n\n
Nice! Harry hasn't always been the most tactful of people. Hopefully this guy knows how to take a joke, otherwise there's no hope of us getting any pizza this evening or this guy living to see the next day for that matter. \n\n//Joshing me! You were Joshing me! I'm a man who's about to kill himself and and you think it the righ time to make jokes!\n\nJesus guy you really are some piece of work. //\n\nUh-oh that hasnt gone down well quick say something else! \n\n*[[Uuuhhh I'm sorry... I don't talk to people who want to kill themselves all that often... I didn't know what to say|I want to help you]]\n\n
Clearly something aunt right here. Head spinning, legs weak you’re practically wasting away! \n\n<<back>>\n
Are you sure about this Harry it would mean running up hill? Well If you’re sure who am I to argue? No doubt we'll be rewarded for making the difficult decision. \n\nHarry throws himself into a full bodied run up the street. The streets are near desolate at this hour and Harrys commendable efforts to get to the pizzeria before it’s too late are only witnessed by the occasional street bum and passing car, it’s a rather be-fitting entourage for Harry's heroics. \n\nThe streets seem never ending and you maintain the mantra of always taking the left option when it arises, however time is passing by at what feels like an ever increasing rate and Bounce’s still has not appeared. \n\nIt may just be too late....This feeling of fear fills Harry's thoughts as he finally rounds the corner onto a dingy depressing street containing a 24 hour convenience store and Bounce’s! Harry finally pulls up from his marathon run, gasping for air and struggling to stand he's finally made it at last.... But oh dear there appears to be a slight trail of smoke floating out of the front door. \n\nMaybe you should have run just that little bit quicker Harry. \n\nYour eyes remain fixated on the front door to Bounce’s Pizzeria, dreading what you're going to discover inside. You stroll down the street breathing heavily you're legs shaking like jelly. The store clerk from the convenience store from across the street is talking hurriedly in an undiscernible accent down his mobile phone clearly trying to raise help.\n\nIt's too late though surely? Why else would that place now be burning to the ground? \n\nYou stop outside Bounce’s, there's only one thing left to do. \n\nYou're hand quivers over the warn door handle to the pizzeria. \n\nDare you go in to reveal you're failure? \n\n[img[Enter the smoking pizzeria.jpg]]\n\n*[[Enter the smoking pizzeria ]]\n\n
I think you're lack of experience in the act of courtship may just have show a little there Harry. \n\nWordless splutters begin emitting from the reciever and Harry now fearing that he's said the wrong thing begins winding the reciever cable round his finger doing anything to try and distract himself from the tyrant of rage now coming down the line.\n\n//What! Hell no! Seriously man you wanted to know why i wanted to kill myself, It's because some bird broke my heart and the best you can come up with is to ask me you took you're pizza again!//\n\nHarry begins to stammer his apologies down the phone. \n\n//Look I get it man not everyone has known the love of a woman....some people have only known the love of pizza. \n\n[img[pizza love.jpg]]\n\nBut you're the [[best I've got]]//.\n\nIt's time to take control here Harry, the mans begging for you're help now. IT's time to hit him with some hom truths we need to open this guy's eyes to the real world that not everyone's going to treat him the way he wants. Sometimes you have to just man up and take what you want! Do It harry! \ntake what you want. \n\n*[[Okay lets face the facts, you work in a dead end job, earning minimum wage even though you're uncle's the one paying you! You blame everyone else for everything that's worng in you're life, hell the only inspired thing I've heard you say all evening is how you're going to kill yourself in an oven that's pretty inventive! But you neeed to change!|You've need to take control of yourself. You've got to change. ]] \n\n\n
The words fall awkwardly out of Harry's mouth, as though he cant quite believe in what he's saying (It's not a question someone finds themselves asking all that often). \n\nYour question is met with silence. Thee pizza boy although being very vocal in his protests earlier is obviously also having trouble dealing with his decision. Maybe he wasn't worth the hassle after all.\n\nCould it possibly be all talk? \n \n//Why am I going to kill myself?.....Why am I going to kill myself?//\n\nThe pizza boy seems to be mulling over the question himself, possibly unclear of the reason. \n\nAfter some heavy a few long drawn out sighs down the phone the Pizza boy eventually comes back with an answer, after initially being rocked by your question it would appear he's quickly regained his abrupt defensive attitude.\n\n//Why should you care If I'm going to kill myself?// \n\nWell why should Harry care if some nobody pizza boy is ready too take his life? \n\n*[[I don't but maybe If i stop you from killing yourself I can get some pizza...finally]]\n\n*[[I want to help you]]\n
I reckon that means you’re hungry. Only one solution to that problem! \n\n<<back>>
You sit the staring blankly at the TV as it emits constant stream of static, ever so slowly your body lacking in much needed sustenance wastes away and you DIE! Leaving nothing but a rotted feted corpse to stare eternally at the TV that dominated so much of your life..... Just think about that....\n\n[img[DIE.jpg]]\n\n<<back>>
//Well thats true, but still at least I had a girl in the first place, I bet the only other pair of lips you've ever touched is ya' mothers// (even then it was done so reluctantly)\n\n//I'm not the pathetic one here, no, no that's you It was all going so well for me, this is all her fault. It's her fault that there's going to be one less pizza delivery boy in this world come the end of this evening.// \n\nYou raise you're arms in frustration. Only now when you thought you we're so close to finally getting a piece of that heavinly mighty meaty.\n \nWe're just going around in cricles here! He's clearly refusing to listen to someone as lackluster as you're dear self Harry, he needs more of a man of action in order to shake him up! \n\nMaybe you should go down there and deal with this face to face, he may respect you a little more with an action like that.\n\n*[[Remain on the phone, going all the way there isn't worth the effort!]]\n\n*[[Grab your coat]]
You enter the pizzeria and immediatly the sound of agonising screams split you're ear drums. It's coming from the backroom, from the kitchens! Keith is clearly crying out in extreme agaony!\n\nYou rush into the kitchens, making a b-line for the large pizza oven, smoke billows out of it the oven door shut up tight.yet the screams are still largley audiable. \n\nHarry rushes forward and wrenches the oven door open to reveal a screaming Keith within, writhed in fire. Careful now you could burn you're hands. \n\n*[[Pull Keith out of the oven]]\n\n*[[Watch him Burn]]\n \n
Is there really a need to be so hard on yourself Harry c'mon look at everything you've managed to accomplish with your life so far. and well you've got that TV. \n\n[img[tv.jpg]]\n\nYeah you're right your life is pretty pathetic there is no two ways about it, It’s goo that you've actually started to recognise this fact. Although I'm not sure how well Keith is going to take the revelation either. \n\n\n//Pathetic! You know whats pathetic, some guy who's got nothing better to do with his evenings that spending it talking to a suicidal Pizza boy, I'm not patheitc I've got reasons to be upset, I actually accomplished something with my life, I got myself a girl!// \n\nBut doesn't he realise that he also then wen't and lost her? \n\n*[[Then you lost her...because well she had no reason to stay]].\n
A few bent nails and some old chewing gum, clearly the DIY fad is something that Harry missed completely. \n\n<<back>>
A few quick bursts of compressed CO'2 deal with the fire and turning an a few of the dials on the side of the oven, the plumes of smoke and fire are eventually quelled. (Good job Harry! you're a real hero, maybe if the Samaritans won't take you the fire brigade will?) \n\nYour attention now turns to what was causing the oven to smoke so furiously and there lays the burnt and scorched husk of Keith's body along with what looks like a slightly over done 10' mighty meaty wrapped in his arms. \n\nIt's done, It's over after everything we've been through tonight, the long drawn out phone conversation, almost falling bad breaking you're neck. And last but not least you had to listen to Keith whine for ages! Yet we couldn’t save him. In the end we we’re brought down by the lack of Harry's athletic capabilities. If only we could have gotten to the pizzeria that little bit sooner, this night could have ended very differently for poor Harry and yourself player!\n\n[img[The End.jpg]]\n THE END. \n\nDo not be disenheartend however dear player, you've through you're multiple decisions this evening have changed Harry. He is now undeniably a different man.\n\nHe started tonight a man of no ambition no life prospects, a depressing shell of a man no doubt, but now he goes home back to that dingy apartment, a man of action! A man with different outlook on life. A man who's defiantly going to do something with his life and not end up slightly toasted in some pizza oven because some 2-bit floozy broke you're heart. \n\nNo that's not Harry, that's not you! Harry is a different man.... and it only took 30 minutes or less!? \n
Well this is it. All of tonight’s adventure has led you to this point, the blank television, the strange grumbling noises and the hunger pains almost rendering you unable to move. Everything has come to a culmination on this point. \n\nYour about to order a pizza... you can feel the excitement rising within you at the thought of the warm cheesey, melty goodness that will soon be sliding down your gullet to settle in the pit of ill-tempered stomach. \n\nThe receiver shakes in your hand as you punch in the numbers written across the top the 'Bounce’s Pizzeria' menu you managed to salvage from the pile of unopened mail. \n\nWaiting with bated breath, your order on the tip of your tongue the phone begins to ring.... and ring..... and ring....\n\nBut no answer? Maybe their closed tonight. Is curry the only option? \n\n*[[Stay on the phone]]\n*[[Damn guess I'll save the pizza for another night, curry it is!|Curry]]\n
Keith exhales slowly, he's clearly being waiting along time for someone else to say that, but with fear that he has a horrible name now abolished Keith starts to wonder just why she left him, maybe the problems even worse than that. \n\n//Well if it aint here then you're saying it's me... I was the reason she left and apart from my name I have no idea why she did leave//\n\nSurprisngly the sounds of stiffled sobs no comes over the reciever, It would appear that Keith our pizza boy who's angry at the world does have some other emotions in him, that's good something to work with. \n\nLets keep this moment of emotional opness going c'mon Harry time to hit him with some home truths! \n\nHarry takes a deep breath before laucnhing into his tyrade. \n\n*[[Okay lets face the facts, you work in a dead end job, earning minimum wage even though you're uncle's the one paying you! You blame everyone else for everything that's worng in you're life, hell the only inspired thing I've heard you say all evening is how you're going to kill yourself in an oven that's pretty inventive! But you neeed to change!|You've need to take control of yourself. You've got to change. ]]
With no other form of transport presenting itself I believe it's time to start pumping those chicken legs Harry and with a gargantuan effort unlike something Harry has ever expressed before he throws himself into a steady jogging pace, gasping wildly as his body screams in protest at the physical torture its's now being subjected to. \n\nYou reach the end of the street bent over double, reluctant to put another foot forward. It suddenly dawns on Harry that he has no idea where the actual pizzeria is and well coming to the end of the street, you're presented the option to turn left or right.\n\nSo what's it going to be? \n\n[img[right or left.jpg]]\n\n\n*[[Left]]\n\n*[[Right]]\n
Oh god please don't metion Steak!... a meat feast has steak on it. The meat feast we're trying so hard to obtain.. whilst also trying to save his life. \n\n<<back>>
Harry harks back to his days spent in [[Orienteering]].\n\nHarry has always had trouble with maps and no matter how basic this one may appear, it’s going to require all the skill and acumen available to your good self to discern the location of the pizzeria.\n\nYou stare at the map for a good few moments before gunning the engine and tarring up the left street. \n\nAccording to the map the pizzeria is only a short 10-15 minute drive away following some simple road signs. You count your blessings that you were able to obtain some mode of transport. The Idea of running this route almost causes you to feint once more. \n\nBut with a determined stare into the rear view mirror you shake yourself and steal yourself, for whatever you may be about to encounter at the pizzeria. \n\nAfter a short journey you come to the street on which the pizzeria is situated. Ditching the clapped out old Honda into a an alley way near by, you run down the street until you're face is list by the luminescent glow of slightly stereotypical Italian man brandishing what looks like a simply delectable Margarita pizza. \n\nStanding in front of the door to bonucci's your hand shaking over the door handle. What you do next is very much up to you Harry, although I'd do it quickly because it may just be too late. \n\n*[[Enter the pizzeria]] \n\n*[[Chicken out and buy a frozen pizza from the convenience store opposite]]\n
As much as anyone could really own a couch they found abbandoned in the basement of their apparetment block, there was a reason why it was left in damp dark basment for what smell like the past 50 years, however It's a reason that harry is yet to find disagrement with. \n<<back>>
You push the door open slowly, smoke quickly fills your view blurring you're vision. A strong delicious smell of roasted beef mixed with the smoke stings you're nostrils.\n\nStaggering about the pizzeria barging into tables and chais as you struggle through the smoke filled resteraunt for any sign of Keith. You call out his name but no reply comes. The previously so chatty Keith clearly isn't up for much of a discussion anymore. \n\nDo you even want to go on? I mean seriously the likelyhood of Keith still being alive is growing...well ever more unlikely.\n\nWe could just leave now and feign ignorance forever, only the store clerk saw us go in and no ones going to believe him. \n\n[img[run away.jpg]]\n\nthat smoke only seems to be getting thicker aswell haven't we already risked enough for this Keith (remeber when you fell over!).... It all seems to have been in vein anyway. \n\nBut then we've made it this far why stop now? \n\nThis choice is yours Harry. \n\n*[[Keep searching the store for any sign of Keith]]\n\n*[[Just leave]]\n\n
The smoke really is pressing heavily on Harry now, you begin to cough and choke heavily. A few more moments of this and you'll be hitting the deck for a second time tonight although this time you may note getting up again. \n\nAs you venture further into the back of the pizzeria, to the kitchen area the smell and delectable taste of roast beef tickles the back of you're throat and fills you’re still grumbling stomach. Harry wretches in disgust as It finally dawns on him as to why the stench is so potent. \n\n[img[Roast beef.jpg]]\n\nYou see the large pizza oven in front of you with smoke billowing out of it, fire raging inside. In an action matched only by Harry's previous sprint to the Bounce’s you grab a fire extinguisher of the wall next to the oven and bravely \n [[Wrench the door open]]. \n
Harry slams the reciver down and drops the phone to floor (maybe a little over dramatic? But then Harry has always fancied himself as one for the [[theatre]]). \n\nWell that Isn't usually what someone expects to hear when ordering a pizza. You must be commended though for not tacking up any more of the poor fellows time, he clearly has a lot to be getting on with. \n\nIt would have been simply irresponsible of you to hold him up any longer to question as to why he'd prefrom such an act or even possibly convince him not to do it!\n\nOr even maybe try and convince him to cook you a pizza before he threw himself in the oven. \n\nStill the depressed pizza' chefs selfish actions have left poor Harry faced the problem of still not having any food. So will you ring the poor pizza man one more time? Or maybe try the \n Baked Bahura. \n\n\n*[[Call the suicidal pizza delivery man.]]\n\n*[[Order a curry]]\n
Harry was once given the role of Romeo for a high school summer performance of Romeo + Juliet. It was a record breaking attendance, however this was due to the school selling no tickets as opposed to too many.\n\n[img[Romeo.jpg]]\n\nHarry feels however this is not a reflection on his own performance rather an ineptitude on the schools part to advertise is acting prowess effectively. \n\n\n<<back>>
It's 12 inches in diameter and is smothered in garlic mayonaise. There are fewer pleasures in this life. \n\n<<back>>
Nice save Harry, I don't think this guy could handle the news that Kieth is an awful name. \n\n//Not untill you tell me what's wrong with the name Keith? People always react like that when I introduce myself and you're just like everyone other bastard around here. You haven't got the balls to tell me to my face. You'd rather be just another snake in the grass so you don't hurt my 'feelings' oooh.// \n\nMy god! we just can't win with this guy. What ever you say Harry It seems to be the wrong thing. \n\nYou begin pacing about your apartment, the sun having set some time ago has left you standing in the glow of the TV emitting static..... Just how long have we been on the phone to this guy and still no pizza! \n\nIt's time to make amends and quickly otherwise poor old Harry is going to [[Starve to death]]\n\n*[[It's nothing, it's nothing honestly, it's a great name seriously!]]
After a long drawn out sigh comes down the reciver to pizza guy eventually responds, he doesn't sound very happy. \n\n//Didn't you hear me I said we're closed. Go get your Pizza some place else.//\n\nYou argue that you only have a the number for Bonucci's, so Its go to be you, otherwise I'll starve to death!\n\n//Look dude, If I give you the number to another pizza place will you leave me the fuck alone?// \n\nHarry's starting to become impatient with this guy's tone, who is he to speak to you like that! He clearly doesn't want your business. \n\n\nI say you take him up on his offer and just order from somewhere that does want to take your money.\n\nAlthough It is a little odd that he's so adimant that there closed when he clearly has alot of spare time to talk on the phone. \n\n\n*[[Alright give me the number?]]\n\n*[[Why dont you want my business?]]
Could be cause of that 2 week old macaroni cheese that appears to have taken up residence in the salad draw. \n\n<<back>>\n
I heard that 'Eazy 'n' Cheezey' will even put extra melted cheese in the crusts for you.... if you know how to ask the right way. \n\n<<back>>
Before you stands an exceptional example of the modern man!\nYou stand back arched to accentuate the paunch of your stomach. Which itself is covered by a grease smeared Zelda T.\n\nA month old unkempt mass of hair surrounds a pale and pasty ashen faced constant grin that creases your face. The harry in the mirror greets your own blank expression with a similar soul sucking dullness.\n\n[img[Reflection.jpg]] \n\nHow are you still single! \n \n\n<<back>>
Again you're response is met by a long pause. Although I don't think its because the mans gettin' crispy. No I think we've actaully managed to make a connection here. \n\nThe pizza boy breathes heavily before answering. \n\n//The reason why she left me man, my name! She left me because my name is terrible!//\n\nAhhhh, it's a broken heart of course It's all so clear now! What else could throw a helpless pizza delivery boy in to such an emotional turmoil. \n\nWell come on Dr. Phill It's up to you to mend this poor mans ailing heart. Although having never known the warmth of a woman yourself i'ts not ggoing to be easy, but this man's life depends upon the relationship advice of a single, unemployed bum who spends his days staring at a TV emitting static...\n\nWhat do you say to the guy who thinks his woman left him over a name.\n\nYou begin pacing about your dimily lit apartment (well what little room it offers for pacing). This rabbit hole seems to be growing deeper and deeper and well there's still no sign of pizza at the end of it. Choose you're next words wisley Harry. \n\n*[[Yeah man! of course it's because of you're name, like I said scum are everywhere but you can't let it get you down. Women there just... just... unpredictable]] \n\n*[[C'mon man who are you kidding? There's got to be more to it than that. No woman could be that shallow surely!]]\n
\nWelcome to another issue of Harry's Healing Hearts colunm, bringing you you're monthly dose of how advice on how to fix an ailing heart from a guy who has no idea what he's talking about but sure does love a good meat feast! \n\nI know I'd read it. \n\n<<back>>
Good idea! I'm sure the fast food establishments of the surrounding area of an excellent [[culinery standard]]. But you’re going to need a menu before you order any food.\n\n\nRifiling through the pile of unopend bills, letters from your mom and a few flyers advertising the excellent [[dry-cleaning facilities]] just around the corner. You produce two take out menu's one for a 'bonicci's Pizzeria' and the other for a the 'Baked Bahoura Baji House'. So what's it going to be?\n\n[img[bonuccis.jpg]]\n\n*[[Pizza]]\n\n*[[Curry]]\n\n
//Well I'm glad you agree, we're finally seeing eye to ey on something and well I better get on with doing that something.//\n\nIn an unprecedented bout of generosity the pizza boy leaves the receiver laying on the counter top. Leaving Harry to yell helplessly down the phone as his screams and cries of anguish come are all that can be heard from the other side. \n\nWell done Harry you managed to say the wrong thing just one time too many and well as a result we wont't be getting pizza or any food for that matter this evening.\n\n\n\n[[No food for Harry|Starve to death]].
The receiver continues to ring with no response coming from the other end. Any normal person would have succumbed to the fact that nobody is answering the phone but not Harry oh no! \n\nThe months of unemployment and a complete lack of will to perform a task of any distinction have afforded Harry an \n[[unparalleled sense of paticence]].\n\nThe momentary Joy that the promised pizza had brought harry is quickly evaporating and just as even Harry's own patience begins to weigh, there is a click on the receiving end. \n\nSomeone has finally answered the phone. \n\nA soul crushingly dull voice comes over the speaker so akin to Harry's own that you'd be forgiven for thinking Harry was talking to himself. \n\n//we are closed.// \n\n[img[Dull Voice.jpg]]\n\nBefore Harry even has the chance to order extra cheese, the receiver Is slammed down and with it any hope of Harry's stomach being satisfied. The future sure does look bleak for our intrepid hero. \n\nwhat will you do? \n\n*[[Ring the number again]]\n*[[Starve to death]]\n