It's the first day of the winter semester for Jordan.
The fall semester was really bad. College is the first time Jordan has lived away from home, but his mom insisted.
"You have to learn how to be your own person, Jordan," said his mom. "Living by yourself is the best way to do that."
Jordan is homesick. Going home for the semester break was nice, but he still had to go back to school.
After failing the first semester, [[he didn't have high hopes for this semester]].
Even the weather sucked on the first day of classes.
<img src="https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/02/c0/0a/02c00a92c95d84b07f1ffcedb0f0206a.jpg" width="724" height="468" alt="wsu campus">
"If this is any sign of how this semester is going to go, I really don't want to be here," said Jordan.
"You have to stick it out," said his mom. [["It's for the best."]]
<img src="https://news.vanderbilt.edu/vanderbiltmagazine/wp-content/uploads/F-paper_cropped-1024x683.jpg" width="724" height="383">
"This is definitely <strong> NOT </strong> for the best!" Jordan thought after getting the grade back on the second failed midterm.
"At this point, it really isn't going to get any better," thought Jordan. [["At least I get to go home next week for spring break."]]
"It's Sunday Jordan, spring break is over," said his mom. "You have to go back to campus today."
"I don't want to go back, mom," said Jordan. " I <strong> hate </strong> it there."
"I hate the food. I hate my classes. I hate my professors. I just hate everything about being there."
"Why won't you just let me stay home? Don't you want me here anymore? Don't you still love me?"
"Of course I love you, sweetheart," said his mom. "And you'll always have a home here, [[but it's time for you to go back and finish the year."]]
"I don't understand why she won't let me stay home," thought Jordan. "I don't want to be here.
<img src="https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BrO9UqiIMAEhabB.jpg" width="500" height="375">
"It's not like I'm going to pass my classes anyway," he thought.
[["What's the point anymore?"]]
"Jordan! I am only going to tell you on more time to pack your things <strong>NOW</strong>, and get ready to head back to school, said Jordan's mom.
[["NO, mom"! I am not going]]
<img src="http://www.clipartkid.com/images/372/getting-a-mortgage-before-the-door-shuts-EqBoSt-clipart.png" width="500" height "300" alt= door slamming">
Jordan's mom wasn't exactly sure how to get him to go back to school. She knew he was a hard worker, but she could see herself that he was up to his nose in homework, and could only take so much.
"Jordan, Jordan, please answer me sweetie," his mom called.
"<strong> Please </strong> let my child be ok," Jordan's mom whispered to herself on the other side of Jordan's bedroom door.
The time was now 10 p.m., and she noticed Jordan had not come out of the room for about four hours now. He had never done that before, so she grew really [[concerned.]]
Jordan had not come out to eat, he had not come out to take a shower, nor did he come out to give his mom a kiss on the cheek, which he did faithfully every night before he had gone off to school.
"Don't play games with me. Open the fucking door <strong> NOW <strong/>, Jordan or I'm coming in," his mother exclaimed.
[[She burst open the door...]]
Jordan's mother found him sound asleep. She checked on him, and he was okay. She figured he was just really tired because of all of the worked that piled up on him.
<img src="https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/e7/d7/3b/e7d73b6281c5f7cc66711c12cbc301b2.jpg"width=500" height "300" alt="sleeping cat">
"It's time to come eat now, Jordan. You haven't eaten all day. I made your favorite red beans and rice with muffin cornbread on the side along with a tall glass of cold fruit punch," said Jordan's mom.
"I am not in the mood to eat, mom," [[said Jordan.]]
Jordan's mom decided the best thing to do was to have a conversation with him in the kitchen. She was so concerned about her child that she began to feel down and out.
"Jordan I think we should talk this out, honey. It's only school. School doesn't determine your life. It's the choices you make and what you choose to do with your life that has a negative or positive impact on you."
Jordan starts to breathe very heavily, he began to shake and sweat as well as clench his fists, and grind his teeth. At this moment Jordan's mom begins to cry as she doesn't know what to do. She is angry because she can't figure out why her child is taking school so hard.
"Aahhhhh"!!! Jordan screams.
He stomps back into his room from the [[kitchen...]]
<img src="http://lolsnaps.com/upload_pic/SoManyThoughtsBehind1SimpleWord-29646.jpg"width="500"height="300">
Jordan slams the bedroom door, feeling flooded with relentless emotion and thought, "Am I supposed to feel this way?"
Jordan's mom runs to the bedroom, knocking heavily and yelling, "Jordan please talk to me! I can't help you if you don't talk to me! We can get through this together, sweetheart!"
Jordan can't even make out the words she's saying, as the negative thoughts push him away from sanity and [[comprehension]].
Jordan finally answers the door, with tears streaming down his face. "Mom, I love you, but life just does not seem right for me. I am truly scared."
Jordan's mom starts weeping, and clings to him with a tight hug with the thought of never letting go. She fears the worst, and now she knows even her words and comfort won't change a thing.
"Honey, I am going to help you in any way I can. You are my child, and I refuse to see you suffer."
Then she says the words Jordan knew were coming.
"We are going to get you [[help]]."
Jordan's mother kept a close watch on him that night, making sure he didn't do anything that all parents fear.
Jordan knew he had to go back to campus the next day, there was no way out of it, but he wondered what his mom would do to seek help.
She pondered on what she should seek, she browsed the internet all night, made phone calls to loved ones to see what would be best.
She stumbled upon a link on the school website that talked about a university counselor. She quickly picked up the phone and dialed the number, as the site talked about the benefits of [[counseling for students]].
The next morning, Jordan ignored his alarms. His mother didn't sleep a wink, she heard the alarm going off and walked into the bedroom to shut it off and wake Jordan up herself.
"Jordan, honey, I know how hard this is for you to come to terms with going back to school, but I found help that I think you need and will get you through this tough phase."
He perked up just enough so she knew Jordan was listening, but the negativity was still there. She explained the benefits of the university counselor and how she arranged an appointment later on that day. Jordan didn't respond well.
"Why would you do that, mom???" Jordan screamed. "Don't you know that won't help?! My issues aren't like those people, some dumbass therapist [[could never help me]] with what I'm going through."
<img src="https://c1.staticflickr.com/7/6090/6153601919_7670940fb1_z.jpg"/>
"Jordan, please," Jordan's mom pleads. "Think realistically here, would you rather [[stay home]] or pursue your dreams and [[go back to school]]?"
Jordan does his best to think realistically. <img src="http://www.clipartbest.com/cliparts/dT7/yer/dT7yerrT9.png"/>
"If I stay home and avoid my problems, there could be no end in sight."
Although Jordan would prefer to stay home and never leave his bed, he knows nothing could get better.
Go back for the only other choice.
<img src="http://www.clipartbest.com/cliparts/dT7/yer/dT7yerrT9.png"/>
"This is bullshit, I should have never gone to college, life would be easier if I just went into construction or some shit," Jordan thinks to himself.
"But my mom is the most important person in my life, even if I don't want to be on this earth anymore, for some reason she still [[believes in me]]."
*BELL RINGS* <iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/6Tv6gQgj0VQ" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>
<img class="irc_mi iyFOYqxIDsL0-pQOPx8XEepE" alt="Image result for school bell" style="margin-top: 175px;" src="https://teensneedsleep.files.wordpress.com/2011/06/school-bell.png" onload="google.aft&&google.aft(this)" width="400" height="265">
"Finally class is over." Jordan thinks while gathering some books and supplies and headed out into the cold.
This semester seems to be going in the same direction as Jordan's previous one. Jordan doesn't get along with anyone. He constantly gets into verbal arguments when doing group assignments and has poor participation in class[[...]]
"That's it, I'm gonna do it tonight..."
Jordan had made the decision that it is time to take life back over, at least in his mind.
"There's this door, on the 8th floor...I know those lazy ass janitors never lock the door because they always lose the keys...maybe I can sneak up there..."
Jordan was planning to do the unthinkable. After feeling alone, hurt and cold for so long, and not doing well in class, Jordan is going to try and make a very brash [[decision...]]
Jordan finds a way to the rooftop of the residence hall they are living in currently.
"The wind feels so good across my face up here. This is the happiest I've ever felt, ironically."
<img class="irc_mi iBIsAEfl3b_M-pQOPx8XEepE" alt="Image result for looking down from a tall building" style="margin-top: 38px;" src="http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2013/12/13/article-2523345-1A16061D00000578-293_964x637.jpg" onload="google.aft&&google.aft(this)" width="816" height="539">
"Jordan! <bold> [[DON"T!!!!!]] </bold>
"It doesn't have to be this way Jordan."
Someone was up on the roof along with Jordan.
"Who are you?" Cried out Jordan.
"I'm a friend, someone who understands what you are going through. I went through it once as well. You feel like everything and everyone is overwhelming you. You feel like the instructors don't care, and your mom is just tryin' to diagnose you instead of 'talk'. I understand."
A friend that seemingly came out of nowhere has appeared to offer peace for [[Jordan...]]
Jordan and the new friend sat up on the roof until the sun started to rise. They shared tears, laughter and support for one another.
"I come up here every night, with the intention to do it every time...but something stops me every time. I don't think you would've stopped yourself if I weren't here." Said the new friend.
"I don't know what would've happened I'm just glad you were here. I've never met anyone like you before."
"Jordan maybe we could try the counselor your mom was talking about. You never know it might be some fun."
"Yeah, I would like that". [[Said Jordan...]]
Jordan sets up a meeting with the counselor. The counselor gave Jordan a few resources to deal with his depression. He explained that he is not alone, thousands of college students go through the same thing every day.
He wanted Jordan to know that what depression is, and to realize that he is not alone.
<iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/z-IR48Mb3W0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>
He wanted Jordan to have [[resources]].
The counselor explained as much as he could during the session.
<iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/zNlwRGc3LS8" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>
He then sent Jordan home with a few [[websites]] to visit, a list of [[books]], and the number to a [[help line]] to call if he ever has these feelings again.
<strong> Note: To access the links please right click and open in a new tab. </strong>
<a href="http://www.thetrevorproject.org">The Trevor Project</a>
<a href="http://livethroughthis.org">Live Through This</a>
<a href="http://www.allianceofhope.org">Alliance of Hope</a>
Go back if you want more [[resources]]
Or
Click [[here]] to learn what happens to Jordan
<img src="https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/81bAquOCgWL.jpg "width="300"height="500">
<img src="https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/91I%2Brbct6gL.jpg "width="300"height="500">
<img src="https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/51RE4V7927L._SX324_BO1,204,203,200_.jpg "width="300"height="500">
Go back if you want more [[resources]]
Or
Click [[here]] to learn what happens to Jordan
National Suicide Prevention Number:
1-800-273-8255
<img src="http://www.eapagno.org/wp-content/uploads/2008/11/phone1.jpg "width="500"height="300">
Go back if you want more [[resources]]
Or
Click [[here]] to learn what happens to Jordan
Jordan didn't get off easy. He continued through the next three years. Some days were easy and others were hard. But with the help of his counselor, mother, and friend who saved his life, Jordan got through it.
Today, Jordan works for a suicide prevention line geared toward college students. Jordan remembers what his counselor said at their first meeting, "you are not alone."
Jordan and hundreds of others are working so that college students who are going through the same thing have someone to reach out to.