Sugarcane

<<silently>>\n<<set $rounds = 7>>\n<<endsilently>>\n\nThursdays are an average night of the week. Several people will be trying to get in, so it should be a //medium// effort to find people to judge. \n\n[[Bounce some breeders]]

<<silently>>\n<<set $rounds -= 1>>\n<<stopsound "club_muffled.wav">>\n<<playsound "club_muffled.wav">>\n<<playsound "clubenter.wav">>\n<<if $genderSex eq "straight">>\n<<set $score -= 2>>\n<<else>>\n<<set $score += 1>>\n<<endif>>\n<<endsilently>>\n<<if $genderSex eq "straight">>Oh no, you let a breeder into the club! Fucking breeders!<<else>>All right, the club just got a little more fabulous! (Turns out they're <<print $genderSex>>.<<endif>><<if $sideEye eq 1>> "Mis-gendering motherfucker" is muttered in your direction. Whoops.<<endif>>)\n\n<<display "score">>\n<<display "rounds">>\n\n<<if $rounds gte 1>>\n[[Back to work|Bounce some breeders]]\n<<else>>\n[[Closing time!|Game Over]]\n<<endif>>

<<silently>>\n<<set $rounds = 5>>\n<<endsilently>>\n\nMondays are the slowest night of the week. Only a few people will be trying to get in, so it'll be //hard// to find people to judge. \n\n[[Bounce some breeders]]

The end.\n\n<<display "score">>\n\n<<if ($score gte -6) and ($score lt -3)>>\nWow, you're terrible at guessing if someone's hetero or not just based on their physical appearance. Maybe you should stop doing that entirely.\n\n\n<<endif>>\n<<if ($score gte -3) and ($score lt -0)>>\nWow, you're pretty bad at guessing if someone's hetero or not just based on their physical appearance. Maybe you should stop doing that entirely.\n<<endif>>\n<<if ($score gte 0) and ($score lt 3)>>\nWow, you can barely guess if someone's hetero or not just based on their physical appearance. Maybe you should stop doing that entirely.\n<<endif>>\n<<if ($score gte 3) and ($score lt 6)>>\nWow, you managed to guess if someone's hetero or not just based on their physical appearance. But you get it's literally just guessing, right?\n<<endif>>\n<<if ($score gte 6) and ($score lt 9)>>\nWow, you managed to guess if someone's hetero or not just based on their physical appearance. But you get it's literally just guessing, right?\n<<endif>>

<<silently>>\n<<set $score = 0>>\n<<loopsound "club_muffled.wav">>\n<<endsilently>>\nThe only time I went to my hometown's one gay bar, I went with my girlfriend, my best friend, and her trans boyfriend. We got sneered at and called "breeders" by the guy working the door.\n\nThis game is for that guy.\n\n[[Saturday|Easy]]\n[[Thursday|Medium]]\n[[Monday|Hard]]

<<silently>>\n<<set $rounds -= 1>>\n<<if $genderSex eq "straight">>\n<<set $score += 2>>\n<<else>>\n<<set $score -= 1>>\n<<endif>>\n<<endsilently>>\n<<if $genderSex eq "straight">>That's right, get outta here, breeder!<<else>>Hey, that person isn't a breeder! You kicked out someone who's <<print $genderSex>>!<<endif>> <<if $sideEye eq 1>>"Mis-gendering motherfucker" is muttered in your direction. Whoops.<<endif>>\n\n<<display "score">>\n<<display "rounds">>\n\n<<if $rounds gte 1>>\n[[Back to work|Bounce some breeders]]\n<<else>>\n[[Closing time!|Game Over]]\n<<endif>>

Your score is now <<print $score.toString()>>.

<<silently>>\n<<set $rounds = 9>>\n<<endsilently>>\n\nSaturdays are the busiest night of the week. Lots of people will be trying to get in, so it should be //easy// to find people to judge. \n\n[[Bounce some breeders]]

Courtney Stanton \n& Darius Kazemi

Breeder Bouncer

You're standing in the alley in front of the club's unmarked door like you always do. Arms crosssed, sunglasses on even though the sun set hours ago. Oh yeah. Oh yeah, so cool.\n<<silently>>\n<<set $genderSex = ["straight","gay","queer","unidentified","intersex","lesbian","transgender","bisexual","genderqueer","straight","straight","straight","straight","straight","straight","straight"][Math.floor(Math.random()*16)]>> <<set $visSex = ["man","woman","","","","","","","",""][Math.floor(Math.random()*2)]>> <<set $hair = ["a shaved head","long flowing curls","cornrows","a skater cut","braids","a Caesar cut","a Pompadour","an Afro","a perm",""][Math.floor(Math.random()*9)]>> <<set $piercing = ["labret","eyebrow","Monroe","Medusa","nostril","septum","tongue","tragus","",""][Math.floor(Math.random()*8)]>> <<set $tattoo = ["retro anchor","black & grey portrait","cherry blossom","pixelated heart","Celtic knot","biomechanical","Tweety bird","Japanese kanji","human heart",""][Math.floor(Math.random()*9)]>> <<set $tattooLoc = ["inner forearm","outer forearm","chest","neck","bicep","shoulder","","","",""][Math.floor(Math.random()*6)]>> <<set $size = ["fat","thin","muscular","slender","average build","","","","",""][Math.floor(Math.random()*5)]>> <<set $height = ["short","tall","petite","towering","little","small","medium height","","",""][Math.floor(Math.random()*7)]>> <<set $top = ["cropped t-shirt","frilly blouse","ribbed tank top","shirt & tie","button down with the sleeves rolled up","stretch lace bodysuit","dress shaped like a swan","","",""][Math.floor(Math.random()*7)]>> <<set $bottom = ["denim cut-offs","wide leg pants","sequin hot pants","skinny jeans","cargo pants","a pencil skirt","jeggings","","",""][Math.floor(Math.random()*7)]>> <<set $shoes = ["mirrored platform heels","oxfords","Birkenstocks","Doc Martens","black leather sneakers","ballet flats","stiletto heels","hiking boots","Chuck Taylors",""][Math.floor(Math.random()*9)]>> <<set $acc = ["feather boa","fedora","dangly earrings","vintage Rolex","Dame Edna glasses","noisy bangle bracelets","wallet chain","mini top hat","rhinestone-encrusted false eyelashes",""][Math.floor(Math.random()*9)]>>\n\n<<set $sideEye = 0>>\n<<if ($genderSex eq "lesbian") and ($visSex eq "man")>>\n<<set $sideEye = 1>>\n<<endif>>\n<<if ($genderSex eq "gay") and ($visSex eq "woman")>>\n<<set $sideEye = 1>>\n<<endif>>\n\n<<if $visSex eq "man">>\n<<set $zie = "he">>\n<<set $ziePos = "his">>\n<<set $zieRef = "him">>\n<<else>>\n<<set $zie = "she">>\n<<set $ziePos = "her">>\n<<set $zieRef = "her">>\n<<endif>>\n<<endsilently>>\nYour score is: <<print $score.toString()>>\n<<silently>>\n<<set $rand = Math.floor(Math.random()*4)>>\n<<endsilently>>\n<<if $rand eq 0>>\nA <<print $height>> <<print $size>> <<print $visSex>> with <<print $hair>> comes up to the entrance. Looks like <<print $zie>>'s wearing a <<print $top>> and <<print $bottom>> with <<print $shoes>>. When you make eye contact, <<print $zie>> twerks <<print $ziePos>> <<print $acc>> and waits for you to move out of the doorway and let <<print $zieRef>> in.\n<<endif>>\n<<if $rand eq 1>>\nA <<print $height>> <<print $size>> <<print $visSex>> comes up to the entrance, with <<print $hair>> and a <<print $tattoo>> tattooed on <<print $ziePos>> <<print $tattooLoc>>. Looks like <<print $zie>>'s wearing a <<print $top>> and <<print $bottom>> with <<print $shoes>>. When you make eye contact, <<print $zie>> twerks <<print $ziePos>> <<print $acc>> and waits for you to move out of the doorway and let <<print $zieRef>> in.\n<<endif>>\n<<if $rand eq 2>>\nA <<print $height>> <<print $size>> <<print $visSex>> comes up to the entrance, with <<print $hair>> and a <<print $piercing>> piercing. Looks like <<print $zie>>'s wearing a <<print $top>> and <<print $bottom>> with <<print $shoes>>. When you make eye contact, <<print $zie>> twerks <<print $ziePos>> <<print $acc>> and waits for you to move out of the doorway and let <<print $zieRef>> in.\n<<endif>>\n<<if $rand eq 3>>\nA <<print $height>> <<print $size>> <<print $visSex>> comes up to the entrance, with <<print $hair>>, a <<print $piercing>> piercing, and a <<print $tattoo>> tattooed on <<print $ziePos>> <<print $tattooLoc>>. Looks like <<print $zie>>'s wearing a <<print $top>> and <<print $bottom>> with <<print $shoes>>. When you make eye contact, <<print $zie>> twerks <<print $ziePos>> <<print $acc>> and waits for you to move out of the doorway and let <<print $zieRef>> in.\n<<endif>>\n\n"[[Come on in, honey]]"\n"[[Get out of here, breeder]]"

There are <<print $rounds.toString()>> rounds left.