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//Hunyak//\n\n<<if $genre == 0>>Mit keresek én itt?\n\nAzt mondják, a hírhedt szerető lefogta a férjem, én meg lecsaptam a fejét.\n\nEz nem igaz.\n\nÉn ártatlan vagyok.\n\nNem tudom, miért mondja Uncle Sam, én tettem.\n\nPróbáltam elmagyarázni a rendőrségen, de ők nem értették, amit mondok.\n\n//Yeah, but did you do it?//\n\nNo.\n\nNot guilty!<<else if $genre == 1>>Mit keresek én itt?\n\nAzt mondják, a hírhedt szerető lefogta a férjem, én meg lecsaptam a fejét.\n\nEz nem igaz.\n\nA behatoló kötve engem, és engem néz.\n\n//What did he do to him?//\n\nŐ összetört férjem fejét, majd vágjuk testét darabokra.\n\n//That's sick...//\n\nŐ jött rám a következő, de elmenekült.\n\nÁrtatlan vagyok, én vagyok az áldozat.\n\nNem tudom, miért mondja Uncle Sam, én tettem.\n\nPróbáltam elmagyarázni, hogy a rendőrség, de nem érti, amit mondok.\n\nNot guilty!<<else if $genre == 2>>Mit keresek én itt?\n\nAzt mondják, a hírhedt szerető tartott a férjem és én becsapta a fejét.\n\nEz nem igaz.\n\nBaleset volt.\n\nMi volt a közepén egy hármasban.\n\n//Oh?//\n\nA szerető tartotta a férjem, amikor a dolgok túl izgatott.\n\n//Sounds sexy.//\n\nÉn visszapattant túl kemény, és a férjem bevágta a fejét a fejtámla.\n\n//Kinky!//\n\nMeghalt.\n\n//Oh...//\n\nPróbáltam elmagyarázni, hogy a rendőrség, de nem érti, amit mondok.\n\n//So did you DO it?//\n\nA little.<<endif>>\n\n\n[[He had it coming...|Cicero]]

//June//\n\n<<if $genre == 0>>Now, I'm standing in the kitchen carvin' up the chicken for dinner, minding my own business, and in storms my husband Wilbur, in a jealous rage.\n\n"You been screwin' the milkman," he says.\n\nHe was crazy and he kept screamin', "You been screwin' the milkman!"\n\nAnd then he ran into my knife.\n\nHe ran into my knife ten times!<<else if $genre == 1>>Now, I'm standing in the kitchen carvin' up the chicken for dinner, minding my own business, and in storms my husband Wilbur, in a jealous rage.\n\n"You been screwin' the milkman," he says.\n\nHe was crazy and he kept screamin', "You been screwin' the milkman!"\n\nSo I calmly finished carving up dinner.\n\nI calmly finished making fried Wilbur!<<else if $genre == 2>>Now, I'm standing in the kitchen crushin' up the cards, minding my own business, and in storms my husband Joey, in a Brooklyn Rage.\n\n"You been cheatin' at card games," he says.\n\nHe was crazy and he kept screamin', "You been cheatin' at card games!"\n\nAnd then he activated my trap card.\n\nYou like, activated my trap card, buttmunch!<<endif>>\n\n\n[[He had it coming!|Uh uh]]

//Annie//\n\n<<if $genre == 0>>I met Ezekiel Young from Salt Lake City about two years ago. He told me he was single, and we hit it off right away.\n\nSo, we started living together.\n\nHe'd go to work, he'd come home, I'd mix him a drink, we'd have dinner.\n\nWell, it was like heaven in two and a half rooms.\n\nAnd then I found out,\n\n"Single" he told me?\n\nSingle, my ass.\n\nNot only was he married... oh no.\n\nHe had six wives.\n\nOne of those Mormons, you know.\n\nSo that night, when he came home,\n\nI mixed him his drink as usual.\n\nYou know,\n\nSome guys just can't hold their arsenic!<<else if $genre == 1>>I met Ezekiel Young from Salt Lake City about two years, and we hit it off right away.\n\nSo, we started living together.\n\nHe'd go to work, he'd come home, I'd mix him a drink, we'd have dinner.\n\nWell, it was like heaven in two and a half rooms.\n\nAnd then I found out,\n\nHe had certain lady friends around his office, so I poisoned him.\n\nThat's when I told him he was number six.\n\nHe started calling out to God; one of those, you know?\n\nSo that night, I put his paralysed body next to his five bunkmates.\n\nYou know,\n\nSome guys just look better dead!\n\n<<else if $genre == 2>>I met Ezekiel Young from New Jersey about two years ago. He told me he was single, and we hit it off right away.\n\nSo, we started living together.\n\nHe'd go to work, he'd come home, I'd mix him a drink, we'd watch //Return of the Jedi//.\n\nWell, it was like heaven in two and a half rooms.\n\nAnd then I found out,\n\n"Single" he told me?\n\nSingle, my ass.\n\nNot only was he married... oh no.\n\nHe had thirty-seven wives.\n\nOne of those Veronica's, you know.\n\nSo on the 6th, when he came home,\n\nI mixed him his drink as usual.\n\nYou know,\n\nSome women just don't bring you lasagna at work!<<endif>>\n\n\n[[He had it coming!|Squish]]

//Liz//\n\n<<if $genre == 0>>You know how people have these little habits that get you down?\n\nLike Bernie.\n\nBernie liked to chew gum.\n\nNo, not chew.\n\nPOP.\n\nWell, I came home this one day and I am really irritated, and looking for a little sympathy and there's Bernie,\n\nlayin' on the couch,\n\ndrinkin' a beer,\n\nand chewin'.\n\nNo, not chewin'.\n\nPoppin'.\n\nSo, I said to him, I said, "Bernie, you pop that gum one more time..."\n\nand he did.\n\nSo I took my shotgun off the wall and I fired two warning shots...\n\nInto his head!<<else if $genre == 1>>You know how people have these little habits that get you down?\n\nLike Bernie.\n\nBernie liked to use the microwave.\n\nHe would heat up food uncovered, leave a mess.\n\nPOP.\n\nWell, I came home this one day and I am really irritated, and looking for a little sympathy and there's Bernie,\n\nheating up his TV dinner,\n\ndrinkin' a beer,\n\nand it's just cookin'.\n\nNo, not cookin'.\n\nPoppin'.\n\nSo, I said to him, I said, "Bernie, you let it cook for one more second..."\n\nand he did.\n\nSo I took my shotgun off the wall and I fired two warning shots...\n\nThe rest of the night I spent heating up my own TV dinner.\n\nBernie always did like to pop!<<else if $genre == 2>>You know how people have these little habits that get you down?\n\nLike Bernie.\n\nBernie liked to smoke E-Cigs.\n\nNo, not smoke.\n\nVAPE.\n\nWell, I came home this one day and I am really irritated, and looking for a little sympathy and there's Bernie,\n\nlayin' on the couch,\n\ndrinkin' a beer,\n\nand smokin'.\n\nNo, not smokin'.\n\nVapin'.\n\nSo, I said to him, I said, "Bernie, you vape one more time..."\n\nand he did.\n\nSo I took my cigarettes out of my pocket and I blew two warning rings...\n\nInto his face!<<endif>>\n\n\n[[He had it coming!|Six]]

Pop, Six, Squish, Uh uh, Cicero, Lipschitz!\n\nI betcha you would have done the same!\n\nFIN

[[CELL BLOCK TANGO|Intro][$genre = 0]]

<<if $genre == 0>>//And now...\n\nThe Six Merry Murderesses of the Cook County Jail\n\nIn their rendition of\n\nThe Cell Block Tango//<<else if $genre == 1>>If you'd have been there.\n\nIf you'd a'seen it.\n\nI betcha you would have done the same!\n\n\n//And now...\n\nThe Six Macabre Murderesses of the Cook County Jail\n\nIn their rendition of\n\nThe Cell Block Tango//<<else if $genre == 2>>If you'd have been there.\n\nIf you'd a'seen it.\n\nI betcha you would have done the same!\n\n\n//And now...\n\nThe Six Meme Murderesses of the Cook County Jail\n\nIn their rendition of\n\nThe Cell Block Tango//<<endif>>\n\n\n[[Pop! Six! Squish! Uh uh! Cicero! Lipschitz!|Pop]]

Chicago

The Six <<if $genre == 0>>Merry<<else if $genre == 1>>Macabre<<else if $genre == 2>>Meme<<endif>> Murderesses of the Cook County Jail

//Mona//\n\n<<if $genre == 0>>I loved Alvin Lipschitz more than I can possibly say.\n\nHe was a real artistic guy, sensitive, a painter.\n\nBut he was troubled.\n\nHe was always trying to find himself.\n\nHe'd go out every night looking for himself and on the way he found\n\nRuth, Gladys, Rosemary, and Irving.\n\nI guess you can say we broke up because of artistic differences.\n\nHe saw himself as alive.\n\nAnd I saw him dead!<<else if $genre == 1>>I loved Alvin Lipschitz more than I can possibly say.\n\nHe was a real artistic guy, sensitive, a painter.\n\nBut he was troubled.\n\nHe was always trying to find himself.\n\nHe'd go out every night looking for himself.\n\nEvery night, he'd put on his glasses, gloves, and leave.\n\nHe said at night was when he created true art.\n\nBut I know what he was doing out there.\n\nWhen I found his secret stash it was all clear.\n\nRuth, Gladys, Rosemary, Irving...\n\nHe collected their ears as proof of the kill.\n\nI guess you can say we broke up because of artistic differences.\n\nHe saw himself as an artist.\n\nAnd I saw him dead!<<else if $genre == 2>>I loved Alvin Lipschitz more than I can possibly say.\n\nHe was a real cute guy, sensitive, a painter.\n\nBut he was troubled.\n\nHe was always trying to find his dog.\n\nHe'd go out every night looking for his dog and on the way he found\n\nRuth, Gladys, Rosemary, and Irving.\n\nI guess you can say we broke up because of artistic differences.\n\nHe saw much doge\n\nwow<<endif>>\n\n\n<<if $genre < 2>>[[I betcha you would have done the same!|Intro][$genre += 1]]<<else>>[[I betcha you would have done the same!|Finale]]<<endif>>

//Velma//\n\n<<if $genre == 0>>My sister, Veronica and I did this double act, and my Husband, Charlie, used to travel around with us.\n\nNow, for the last number in our act, we did these 20 acrobatic tricks in a row:\n\nOne, Two, Three, Four, Five, Splits, Spread Eagles, Back Flips, Flip Flops, one right after the other.\n\nWell, this one night we were in Cicero, the three of us, sittin' up in a hotel room, boozin' and havin' a few laughs and we ran out of ice.\n\nSo I went out to get some.\n\nI come back, open the door\n\nand there's Veronica and Charlie\n\ndoing Number Seventeen:\n\nThe Spread Eagle!\n\nWell, I was in such a state of shock,\nI completely blacked out. I can't remember a thing.\nIt wasn't until later,\nwhen I was washing the blood off my hands\nI even knew they were dead!<<else if $genre == 1>>My sister, Veronica and I did this double act, and my Husband, Charlie, used to travel around with us.\n\nNow, for the last number in our act, we did these 20 acrobatic tricks in a row.\n\nWell, this one night we were in Cicero, the three of us, sittin' up in a hotel room, boozin' and havin' a few laughs and we ran out of ice.\n\nSo I went out to get some.\n\nI come back, open the door\n\nand there's Veronica and Charlie\n\ndoing Number Seventeen:\n\nThe Spread Eagle!\n\nWell, I was obviously upset, but I have self control.\nI calmly took the ice into the kitchen and got our ice pick.\nThen we went through the whole routine:\nOne, Two, Three, Four, Five, Splits with Veronica left her in pieces, Flips, Flip Flops, one after another. Number Fifteen on Charlie, left pieces of him on ice. There wasn't enough ice, so I ziplocked the rest of Veronica and Charlie and put them in the freezer.\nThen I washed the blood off my hands and called in a reservation to Dorsia at 6.<<else if $genre == 2>>My sister, Veronica and I did this double act, and my Husband, Charlie, used to travel around with us.\n\nNow, for the last number in our act, we did these 20 tricks in a row:\n\nOne, Two, Three, Four, Five, Banana Splits, Spread Bagles, Pancake Flips, Pancake Flops, one right after the other.\n\nWell, this one night we were in Cicero, the three of us, sittin' up in a hotel room, eating and havin' a few laughs and we ran out of Nutella.\n\nSo I went out to get some.\n\nI come back, open the door\n\nand there's Veronica and Charlie\n\ndoing Number Seventeen:\n\nThe Spread Bagle!\n\nWell, I was in such a state of gluttony,\nI completely blacked out. I can't remember a thing.\nIt wasn't until later,\nwhen I was washing the Nutella off my hands\nI even knew they were eaten!<<endif>>\n\n\n[[He had it coming!|Lipschitz]]