“Hey Muriel, let’s go!” yells one of my friends from down the hall.
uuuhhhhhh...what? I obviously have been spacing out the last few days and have no idea what she is talking about or where we are going.
Hmmm..What to do? Put on some shoes and [[run after her]] or say I’m too busy and [[sit in my room]] and watch some TV?
“Aren’t you excited? I heard the line gets really long the first week of school when everyone is back and has time to work out” my friend chatters on and on.
Oh, that’s right!!! She asked me to go to some zumba dance aerobics class thing. My mom said that I should never say no to invitations when people are being kind so I said yes. But now I am rethinking this whole situation.
FINALLY GET TO THE GYM!
We show up and there is a huge line of small, blonde girls with minimal clothing: shorts that ride up to you know where, tight see through tops exposing colored sports bras. There is loud, Latin music banging from the room and a peppy looking instructor in the front. Oh god, what do I do now?? I take the plunge and [[hop into the room]]. I fake a stomach ache and [[run out of there->Passage 1: Introduction ]] as quickly as possible.
I do feel really bad. I haven’t been at school for long and my friend did ask me weeks ago to do something. What was it?? Oh, wait, now I remember. It was some dance thing at the gym. Maybe I should have [[gone->run after her]]? But I am tired and would love to sit around and [[watch TV->Passage 1: Introduction ]].
I did it! I went to this class where I felt totally out of place and I loved it!!! I let loose, I danced, I yelled, I sweat, I worked out, I felt strong. The high from class was like nothing I have experienced before. This is insane!!!
I look at the schedule and it turns out there is another class in about an hour. Hmm…[[should I]]? Or maybe I should take it easy, it was my first one? I should go home, shower and maybe start [[working on that paper->take a shower]] due tomorrow.
What the heck? That was so much fun and I feel so good, why not wait around and do it again?? I walk around the gym and do some exploring. Truth be told, this is the first time I’ve even been here. Wow, they have a lot of stuff. What is that machine? It looks like torture! Why are there so many men grunting in this uh room of weights??? OMG, look at that girl. Her arms are muscled just like a dudes. Hulk woman! Time to get back to class.
---ZUMBA CLASS----
Why is this so great??? But man, I am tired. This feels weird but in a good way. I can barely lift my arms because of exhaustion but I feel so proud and accomplished. I feel strong!! But seriously, I should get back and [[take a shower]].
Well, that was great. I can’t believe I’ve never gone to the gym before. I mean, I’ve played on a couple of soccer teams and I did dance, but this was something else. I better go get something to eat.
--DINER--
Hmm..what to eat, what to eat. I mean I just worked out and I don't want to undo the work I just did, let me grab a [[salad]]. But wait, I just burnt off all those calories, I should [[reward]] myself.
Who knew a salad could be so good? I mean, yeah, this is rabbit food but it’s really not that bad. I feel great-I just worked out, I’m eating well, I’m a new person. I can do anything. Time to [[conquer that paper->wallow in my sorrow]].
I grab the biggest cheeseburger I can find, extra cheese. And yeah, you can put extra fries on the plate. The bigger the better. Hey, I worked out!
--SCARFS DOWN THE BURGER—
Oh god, I feel terrible. That was a terrible decision. My stomach hurts and I just worked out, for what?? I bet that peppy instructor doesn’t scarf down burgers. What was I thinking? Let me just go [[wallow in my sorrow]].
Alright, paper, paper, paper! Concentrate. This is lame, I need some background noise. Let me just put on the TV
-LISTEN TO TV & WRITE PAPER—
What is that song? It’s kind of catchy. I turn my eye at the last second and see the ad for LA Fitness. Look at that girl in the boxing class. Wow, she looks great! And that girl swimming, she’s so lean and yet she looks so powerful. Maybe I should try boxing next at the gym.
Oh, it’s Entertainment Tonight. I guess that’s what I’ve been watching. JLaw is so cool, look at her in that dress. I bet she does boxing or zumba, just look at her arms.
I can take a break and check out the groupfit schedule. They do have a boxing class. Wait, a weightlifting class, a step class—this is great. I can’t wait to try these.
--Next Day—
Well I should [[write]] the rest of that paper, but there is a [[boxing class]] this morning.
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Stupid, stupid, stupid paper. I could be boxing. I could be the next Rhonda Rousey. I could tone up this flabby arms. Concentrate, concentrate!
AND......done! [[Turn]] this sucker in
I have found my new passion in life. I am going to be a boxer. Well, maybe not. Have you seen Rhonda Rousey? She kind of looks like a man. Maybe I’ll settle for being an amateur group fit boxing participant.
Oh, crap. That paper! I’ll just [[turn in what I have]].
Can’t believe that zumba class was just a couple of weeks ago. I feel like a new person. I’ve even noticed that some of that stomach weight is coming off.
-Ding: GRADE HAS BEEN POSTED-
SCORE! 94 on that paper. I guess it was good that I gave up that first boxing class.
“Hey Muriel! Come get some cake!! It’s Tonia’s birthday!!” yells someone from outside my dorm room. Hmm, cake. I love cake but I haven’t worked out today. How can I have some cake when I haven’t run or done any classes? I’ll go say [[happy birthday]] and see.
“Happy Birthday Tonia!! I can’t believe we’ve almost survived our first semester of college! This is crazy”
That cake looks amazing. Chocolate with vanilla frosting and ice cream on the side. I can see the amazing buttercream frosting etched beautifully around the cake and can see a little of the moist, dense chocolate cake on the inside. I feel my mouth start salivating. NO! I can’t! I haven’t worked out today. [[No sweets]]!!! Well, maybe a [[little piece]].
Can’t believe that zumba class was just a couple of weeks ago. I feel like a new person. I’ve even noticed that some of that stomach weight is coming off.
-Ding: GRADE HAS BEEN POSTED-
SCORE! 68 on that paper. Ah, darn. That sucks. Maybe I should have worked a little harder on it. But, that boxing class meant a lot to me and I did get a good workout. I was being healthy!
“Hey Muriel! Come get some cake!! It’s Tonia’s birthday!!” yells someone from outside my dorm room. Hmm, cake. I love cake but I haven’t worked out today. How can I have some cake when I haven’t run or done any classes? I’ll go say [[happy birthday->happy birthday]]and see.
I did it! I resisted the temptation. You can’t be look good when you eat like that. It’s a sacrifice that I am willing to make. SO to date-I have lost 5 pounds, gained more muscle mass, given up chocolate, cake, bread, rice, soda, pizza, brownies, whole milk, ice cream, candy, bagels, cheeseburgers, fried chicken, creamy fraps from Starbucks, alfredo........... I no longer eat at Chipotle, McDonalds, Taco Bell, Sarku Japan, Burger King, Wendys....................
[[Next week]]
NO! What did I just do? This is not worth it. All the hard work I’ve done over the past couple of weeks. I have to get rid of this and make up for my mistake. What do I do? Do I go try to [[throw up]]? I’ve seen it on TV? Do I go to the [[gym->throw up]]?
--BING, BING, BING, BING, BING-- goes the alarm clock…NO!!! What time is it? 4:45am? Damn it-Here we go.
I get up and half sleep run around the room getting ready to [[go to the gym]]. You can do this, you have to do this, you are so close to looking good. Think about how good you are going to feel after. BUT, think about how nice my bed is, I could easily just curl back in bed and [[rest a bit]]. Ugg…
Whew, thank god. It’s done. I have made up for my mistake. How can I have been so stupid. A little or a lot, cake is cake. It’s sugar and terrible for me. I need to get it out of my life. I need to add it to my list. SO to date-I have lost 5 pounds, gained more muscle mass, given up chocolate, cake, bread, rice, soda, pizza, brownies, whole milk, bagels, cheeseburgers, fried chicken, creamy fraps from Starbucks, alfredo........... I no longer eat at Chipotle, McDonalds, Taco Bell, Sarku Japan, Burger King, Wendys....................
[[Next week->Next week]]
A couple more miles, just a couple more miles. Think about vacation. You are going to the beach over winter break, you have to look good. Keep running, keep running, almost there.
-GOT IT! 12 miles. Now time to hit the weight room.
-Man, I’m hungry. OMG, that kid is walking into the gym with a donut. Weird...but man, I could go for a donut. NO! No you can’t have a donut, what am I thinking.
-A couple more curls, just a couple more. Man this is tough. But wait, look at my arms--they look good, PROGRESS!Totally worth it to wake up at the crack of dawn.
[[BFAST TIME->time for breakfast]]!!
Oh this bed is so nice. But I should be at the gym, but this bed is so nice, but I should be at the gym. SLEEP! You gave up the gym, go to sleep, but I should be at the [[gym->go to the gym]], but I have to sleep-it’s good for you, but so is working out. UGHGHGHGHGH
I’ve been laying here long enough, [[time for breakfast]].
Hmm….look at that cheese omelet, or those pancakes, OOHHH bacon. How I love bacon!
“What can I get for you?”
"Can I get two egg whites scrambled please."
“That’s it?”
"Yep"
I scarf down the eggs and run off to change before [[heading to class]].
--IN CLASS--
Look at that girls magazine. Who is on the cover?? Oh Jennifer Lopez. Who’s that in the small right hand corner? Beyonce. They look so great. I wish I could look like them.
“Blah, blah, blah” drones on the professor. Man my head is pounding, why is the room so dizzy.
“Hey, hey, hey Muriel” whispers my friend. “Are you okay? You look a little dizzy. Did you eat today? Here have some of this sandwich-you need some sustenance”
No, I [[can’t have bread]], what is she thinking. But oh god, my head, [[give me the sandwich]].
“Thanks, but I’m fine. Just tired” I squeak back
“Okay, but you should rest up once in a while and eat something. I’m always here to talk, Muriel”
“Thanks” Maybe I should [[talk]] to her. I’ve been feeling kind of disconnected lately. [[But talk about what?]]
OMG. This is amazing. Where have you been all my life?
“Muriel, I’m so glad you took the sandwich. I know how important working out is to you but I’m worried about you. I’m always here to [[talk->talk]], Muriel”
“Thanks” Maybe I should talk to her. I’ve been feeling kind of disconnected lately. But [[talk about what->But talk about what?]]?
--DAYS LATER--
“Muriel, I am so glad that you decided to talk to me. I know that you love working out and eating well And that is great. It is important to take care of yourself. BUT there is also too much and exercise addiction. I work for the Campus Health/Wellness Center and I really think it’d be great for both us to talk to one of the nutritionists and work with the center to develop an approach to a healthy lifestyle. What do you think?”
What do I think? I [[don’t have a problem->But talk about what?]]! I love working out and I feel good about it, so what? I wanna look good, if I just keep pushing, eat less and workout a little more, I will look perfect!
“A lot of time people with exercise addictions give up other parts of their life. Their grades suffer”
I haven’t been doing too great lately.
“They don’t see their friends. They feel guilty for not working out. Their life revolves around the gym. They give up a lot”
Maybe she is right, maybe I should go [[see someone.]]
What is she talking about? I’m fine. I love exercise, I don’t eat candy. Yeah I skip meals once in a while, but I’m fine.
I mean look at TV, look at magazines, do you really think Kaylee CuoCuo is going around stuffing her face with thick, empty calorie breaded sandwiches? NO!
--NEXT DAY---
Bing, Bing, Bing. That damn alarm!! I am so tired and I have a headache and my legs hurt and my muscles ache, ahahahahaggg. Maybe if I run a bit, my [[legs will loosen up]] and it will wake me up. Who needs caffeine? On the otherhand, I feel like sh** but if I don’t work out, I’ll feel guilty. What is my life? I feel so strong yet feel so weak! Maybe I can [[talk->talk]] to my friend about it.
Okay, run down and now onto the stairmaster. I am so dizzy, what the heck? Maybe just some water will help.
Step, Step, Step, Step, [[OH GOD]]…….
“Hi Muriel, I’m Dr. Jones. I’m a sports psychologist and counselor. I don’t know a lot about what brings you here today but I heard that you love to exercise. What about exercise do you like so much? Why do you exercise?”
Um, huh, that is a good question. ”I don’t know, really? At first I liked the way I felt after working out-I got this sense of euphoria, I had fun. But now I just feel like I have to exercise and I have to keep going to feel good and to look good”
“Muriel-can you do me a favor?”
“Sure” I say, a little apprehensively.
“Look in the mirror, what do you see?”
Beep, beep, beep. What the hell? Where am I? What is that sound??
I look around and that beeping, it’s coming from a machine near me. What are all these wires? What is going on? What is in my arm? THIS IS A HOSPITAL**
“Oh, hi Muriel” says some nurse in a calming voice. “How’re you feeling? You fell off the stair-master and suffered a minor concussion. But it seems you were also severely dehydrated, suffering from exhaustion and are malnourished” he says.
MALNOURISHED, DEHYDRATED! WHAT!!!!
“Your friends told us you’ve been exercising an awful lot and not eating very much. It’s great to live an active lifestyle but there is such thing as being exercise addicted. There are a lot of resources on your campus that you can use to learn more about active and healthy lifestyles. Would you maybe want to [[chat a bit->see someone.]] with them” he says.
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