## glass houses
a poem game by (link:"@l1quidcryst4l")[(goto-url:"http://twitter.com/l1quidcryst4l")] for (link:"ludum dare")[(goto-url:"http://ludumdare.com/compo/author/jessiexjquine/")]
[[view content warnings->Content Warnings]]
[[play game->Start]]
bristles grip solids not fragments
grit occupies skin and lungs alike
"Why me?" you ask as you clean their mess
as if the answer is ever different
you place the broom back into the corner
you place the bandages back onto your feet
you place yourself back into the corner
you place your armor back onto your skin
(display:"Disassociate")
[[you dust for fingerprints->Fingerprints]]
you launch out into the street
trampling over shards
and dreams
and feet
a trail of red lingers in your wake
invisible to all but the empath
(and those standing in your way)
nothing is revealed
nothing is created
nothing is new
you finally slow to a halt
as your vision begins to blur
and your other senses take over
[[scans show shouts behind->Pedestrian1]]
you lift the box from the shelves
but somehow it's on the ground
there are sounds
and sights
and faces
and then it hits you
and you're cascading out the door
with muffled screams and
an extra shadow
you know where you are going
(link:"surprise gives way to fear")[(set: $fear to true)(goto:"Fight With Anxiety")]
(link:"surprise gives way to despair")[(set: $despair to true)(goto:"Fight With Anxiety")]
(link:"surprise gives way to acceptance")[(set: $prepared to true)(goto:"Fight With Anxiety")]
[[hah, yeah right->Dust]]
you dust shards of glass
pour them into the garbage
along with the rest of your day
'It doesn't matter anyway'
you think to yourself
'I probably would have only found my own'
you heft the rock
it's the right weight
and the right shape
you almost envy it
[[i toss it into the trash->Trash]]
[[i toss it into the street->Pedestrian1]]
[[i toss it back->Pedestrian1]]
it belongs in the trash, you decide
(like everything else)
the gaping hole mocks you
(like they always do)
the staring faces pick you apart
(like they always have)
[[i have eyes and i will cry->Concern]]
[[i have lungs and i will shout->Pedestrian1]]
[[i have legs and i will hide->Disassociate]]
[[i have nothing and i will do nothing->Disassociate]]
launching at you from the street
the words track you like a missile
they are hot and taste like fire
"Just who do you think you are?"
you wish you had a better answer
[[but it's better than it's ever been->Pedestrian2]]
[[but it never seems to be different->Pedestrian2]]
[[but i'm still trying to find the words->Pedestrian2]]
a familiar face reveals itself
steeped in light and surrounded by warmth
"Are you there again?"
[[i move my head up->Nod]]
"Are you even listening to me?
Haven't you ever heard of
do unto your neighbour
as you would have them do unto you?"
hah
easy for him to say
but
(link:"no one has ever treated me like that")[(set: $abused to false)(goto:"Cop1")]
(link:"he wouldn't want me to do that")[(set: $selfharm to true)(goto:"Cop1")]
(link:"it's much harder to do than to believe")[(set: $failure to true)(goto:"Cop1")]
shutters close as
red and blue respond to their summons
the man stomps off
and you match his retreat
but your fortications are damaged
(and it wouldn't have mattered anyway)
the badge slams its way inside
the noise echoes off the walls
they're supposed to be words (you realize eventually)
but all you hear is the red face and silent metal
and even if you could
why should you be asked to listen?
"Do unto your neighbour
as you would have them do unto you"
you would laugh if you weren't so terrified
[[i nod my head->Cop2]]
it barrels out of the door
and you know that the lifeline it left
is made of spider-silk
that you cannot drag the net
without finding yourself stuck in the web
finally the air in your lungs rejoins the room
and over time you come to realize
you're holding something in your hand
you turn it over and over
trying to find a way not to recognize it
but the empty landscape is filling itself
the shadows and contours bloom onto the page
you knew where they would be
even if they didn't
(link:"i will not bother it")[(set: $wall to false)(goto:"AnxiousTime0")]
[[i will be prepared->Flashlight]]
(link:"i will put up a wall")[(set: $wall to true)(goto:"AnxiousTime0")]
you begin your march
one, two, three, in
one, two, three, out(set:$prepared to true)
(display:"Approach")
[[time passes->AnxiousTime1]]
more than it should
(the vampire-bat flies over your shoulder)
(it steals from you)
[[but i ignore the pain->Wound]]
(if:$wall is false)[[[i turn and look->Flight]]]
gradually
the dull ache gives way
to a stinging pain
you carry the infection everywhere
(link:"it hurts")[(set: $pain to 1)(set: $damage to 2)(goto:"Pain")]
the wings escape your sight
always running, always fleeing
you know where it is going
your feet retrace the path(set: $watching to true)
[[and i am ready now->Preparation]]
[[i am ready as i'll ever be->Fight With Anxiety]]
familiar sounds pierce your ears(if:$help)[$c[
but are quickly drowned out
“It’s going to be okay”]]
the world beats a fast rhythm
your eyes are struggling to keep time(if:$prepared)[$c[
but your vision is steady
you were already tapping the beat]]
you catch the shape in the corner of your gaze
and while the distance brings new unfamiliarity
it’s still clearer now, under new light
and smaller, you can tell
(if:$help)[$c[“Do not be afraid
They have no power over you.”
you accept the flashlight gratefully]
and the beam slices the air
tearing apart their hiding place](else-if:$flashlight)[$c[your hand grips the flashlight
throws the switch]
fresh batteries find use for the first time
and the beam slices the air
tearing apart their hiding place](else:)[they slip out of sight
the world is closing in$c[(if:$prepared)[
but you are ready
you are watching now](if:$watching)[
but this time, you are watching
you know where to look](else-if:$pain > 0)[
but your shoulder twitches
you know this pain now](else-if:$disassociated)[
but you have been here before
you know this landscape
you know where to be
and this time—
you will be present
]]
you spin one 180° forward
and stare into the daylight]
the figure dashes away
smaller than ever
and too late:
[[you’ve seen their weakness->Branch]]
{
(set:$pain=$pain+1)(set:$damage=$damage-1)
(link: "it hurts")[
(if:$damage > 0)[(goto:"Pain")]
(else:)[(goto:"Ambush")]
]
}
[[i move my head down->Question]]
"Would you like my help?"
[[i nod->Help]]
[[i shake my head->They Leave]]
soft hand and soft hair
gentle warmth and gentle welcome
arms link; lift; lock
and you walk as one(set:$help to true)
(display:"Approach")
they plant an understanding smile
and beat a slow retreat
[[i call out->Question]]
[[i call it a day->Disassociate]]
you lean back
and your particles begin to scatter
boundaries fray at the edges
colors run and vision skips
(set:$disassociated to true)
[[time passes->Disassociated Time 0]]
[[faster than it should->Disassociated Time 1]]
[[and as irrelevant as ever->Ambush]]
tracing steps
retracing steps
not following the figure
[[but growing closer nonetheless->Fight With Anxiety]]
shaky feet meet steady floor and find new stillness
hands embrace surfaces, find texture and
a flashlight, you stow it away(set:$flashlight to true)
(display:"Preparation")
{
(set:$therapy to false)
(set:$psychiatry to false)
(set:$brightness to "dim")
(if:$flashlight is true)[
(set:$flashlight to true)
](else:)[
(set:$flashlight to false)
]
(if:$selfharm is true)[
(set:$selfharm to true)
](else:)[
(set:$selfharm to false)
]
(if:$abused is true)[
(set:$abused to true)
](else:)[
(set:$abused to false)
]
(if:$failure is true)[
(set:$failure to true)
](else:)[
(set:$failure to false)
]
(if:$fear is true)[
(set:$fear to true)
](else:)[
(set:$fear to false)
]
(if:$despair is true)[
(set:$despair to true)
](else:)[
(set:$despair to false)
]
(if:$help is true)[
(set:$help to true)
](else:)[
(set:$help to false)
]
(set: $restlessness to (a:"spinning", "tossing", "turning"))
(set:$c to (color: #9DD8E6))
}(if:$help is true)[$c[your friend offers one last embrace
"It's your's", they say
patting the flashlight(set:$flashlight to true)
and taking their leave
]]the nervous energy skittering over you
finds ground and seeps into it
strengthening bonds and making links
solids regain their shape
the world is steady again
you have done well
you are safe, for now
[[but i could use help->Seek Help]]
[[but now i will rest->Rest]]
you find new numbers and
new voices and
new places and
new problems
but you can solve each
[[one by one->Resources]]
your feet lead
sure steps with sure footing
sure of their destination
secure, in their destination
the walls are up now
the light is on, now
you sink into safety
toss and turn(set:$sleep to 0)
[[the light dissapears behind your eyelids->Sleep]]
(if:$psychiatry and $therapy)["We've done all we can"
[["Thanks"->Rest]]](else:)["How can I help you?"
(unless:$therapy)[[["I need to understand"->Therapy]]
](unless:$psychiatry)[[["I need to see"->Psychiatry]]
]]
they nod knowingly
lots of nodding
lots of knowing
you make sketches and
draw plans and
practice
[[piece->Piece0]]
they smile wide and it's
disconcerting—
but genuine
"Do you have a flashlight?"
(if:$flashlight is true)[[["Yes"->Batteries]]
](else:)[[["No"->Given Flashlight]]]
the landscape is becoming a photo
familiarity is becoming recognition
the figure is becoming a person
so small, now
next time, you will know
now, the dark will not stop you(set:$therapy to true)
(display: "Prompt")
[[by->Piece1]]
[[piece->Therapy End]]
your calendar is laughing at you
like that uncle everyone hates
after he leaps out to scare you
the days lays out before you—
taunting you. there are
obstacles strewn over it
nooks and crannies full
of shadow
(if:$therapy)[$c[but you know the shadows now
they offer no danger]
](if:$flashlight and $brightness is "bright" or $brightness is "dim")[$c[you have your flashlight
the shadows will tremble before you
and fall apart]
](if:$sleep is 10)[$c[you have slept soundly
and your reflexes are sharp]
]
you go the only way
[[forward->Outside]]
(if:$brightness is "bright")[(set:$psychiatry to true)]"Do you need anything else?"
[["Yes"->Resources]]
[["No"->Rest]]
"Try these batteries"
she hands them over
they're covered in words
they mean nothing to you
[["Okay"->Does it work]]
[["No thanks"->Prompt]]
"Here, try this one"(set:$flashlight to true)
[[i take it->Does it work]]
[["No thanks"->Prompt]]
"Does it work?"
[[you flip the switch->Try Flashlight]]
(set: $brightness to (either: "negative", "nothing", "dim", "bright"))
it (if:$brightness is "negative")[(color:#333300)[sucks the light from the air around it]](else-if:$brightness is "nothing")[does nothing](else-if:$brightness is "dim")[glows (color:#ffffcc)[dimly]](else-if:$brightness is "bright")[shines (color:#ffff33)[brightly]]
you answer:
[["Yes"->Prompt]]
[["Sort of"->Try Again]]
[["No"->Batteries]]
"Do you want to try again?"
[["Yes"->Batteries]]
[["No"->Prompt]]
you tumble to the surface
spinning, moving
everything is moving
everything is
everything
is bright
you drink it in
you curl into familiar spaces
you need more rest
[[i need more help->Seek Help]]
[[i need to try again->Sleep]]
(if:$therapy)[(set:$sleep to 10)dark shapes come to you
$c[but you know their form now
they cannot scare you
you sleep soundly]
[[and wake well rested->New Day]]]{
(unless:$therapy)[
(set:$sleep to $sleep + 1)
(set:$nightmare to (random:0,3))
(if:$sleep > 7)[
[[you wake, rested->New Day]]
](else-if:$nightmare is 3)[
[[something dark comes in the night->Wake Up From Nightmare]]](else:)[
[[(either:...$restlessness) and...->Sleep]]
]
]
}
you leave shelter for open air
faces float in circles around you
you swim through them(if:$therapy)[$c[
but they are not among them
you know their shape precisely now
]](if:$flashlight)[$c[
your hand fiddles with your flashlight
]]
the farther you swim
the deeper it gets
swallowed in growing waves
[[losing your footing->Depths]]
[[tossed into the depths...->Encounter]]
{
(set:$l to (color: white))
}you blink
eyes adjusting to the black
(if:$therapy)[[[i am ready for this->Explore]]
](if:$flashlight)[[[my hand flips the switch->Click]]
][[i stand and wait->Attacked]]
you see room
(display:"Building Description")
$c[i can see, this time]
[[i step into the open shadows->Beckon]]
(if:$brightness is "negative" or $brightness is "nothing")[(if:$brightness is "negative")[the air grows (color:#333300)[even darker]](else:)[nothing happens]
(if:$therapy)[[[but i prepared for this->Explore]]](else:)[
[[it's so hard to see...->Attacked]]]
](else-if:$brightness is "dim" or $brightness is "bright")[(if:$brightness is "dim")[(set:$l to (color:#ffffcc))](else:)[(set:$l to (color:#ffff33))]$l[a $brightness light cuts through the shadows
you see room
(display:"Building Description")
"No hiding anymore", you say to yourself
as the beam boils the darkness away]
[[i beckon the form to come forward->Through The Looking Glass]]
]
you can barely make out room
(display:"Building Description")
blurs dash through your visions
drawing closer now
coming for at you
coming for you
shapes in the darkness
shape, in the darkness?
a shape, in the darkness?
//that// shape?
you cry out
[["Wait!"->Reckoning]]
$c["There's nothing to fear", you say to yourself
you are ready]
[[i beckon the form to come forward->Through The Looking Glass]]
$l[the figure pauses
lingering in the air
then turns
and the movement begins
each footfall
quieter and
light and
smaller than
the last
you step forward in
perfect time
you both approach a pane of glass
you reach out a hand
they reach out a hand
growing in length
growing in size
the figure stretches back
to touch the surface
bigger and
bigger and
bigger until]
[[it forms the most familiar shape of all->Mirror]]
you touch the mirror
and smile
there is nothing frightening there
any more
after room
after room
a collage of concrete
tile and
glass
movement in the distant darkness
so far away, this time
so small, this time
{
(set:$f to (color:#FF9999))
(if:$help)[$c["The lonliness isn't forever`
`It's okay`
`There is help`
`And safety"`
`]]`
`(if:$abused)[$f["There's been so much pain`
`And suffering`
`There doesn't need to be any more"
]](else-if:$selfharm)[$f["I'm not going to do it anymore`
`I'm done hurting"
]](else-if:$failure)[$f["It doesn't have to be this way`
`Things can be different, this time"
]](else-if:$fear)[$f["There's nothing to be scared of now`
`It's okay`
`It's okay to be calm"
]](else-if:$despair)[$f["It can be better this time`
`It doesn't have to go wrong"`
`]]
}
the shape struggles
blurring at the edges
settling on new shapes
each smaller than the last
shrinking further
[[i beckon the shape to come forward->Through The Looking Glass]]
[[click!->Turn On Flashlight]]
### Content Warnings
Hi there! I've done my best to tag what I think could be a problem, but if there's an issue, feel free to contact me at @l1quidcryst4l on twitter or [email protected] and I'll try to get it added.
This game relies heavily on metaphor and poetry and the ambiguity they offer, and I do worry that viewing some of these content warnings might pierce that veil. As such, I've grouped them into categories based on how directly they are referenced. You can choose which groups you need to view.
For what it's worth, if you are checking for the following common content warnings, they are //not// present: sexual assault, drugs, food.
Some of them might be a little unecessary to tag, but I'd rather be safe than sorry. Additionally, many are mutually exclusive by story arc, and you may not encounter them all.
[[These ones are very direct or strongly implied->Direct CWs]]
[[These ones are implied->Implied CWs]]
[[These ones are more hidden in metaphor->Metaphor CWs]]
[[Back Home->Intro]]
Stalking
Kidnapping
Police
Family
[[Back to Content Warnings->Content Warnings]]
Disassociation
Self harm
[[Back to Content Warnings->Content Warnings]]
Psychiatry
Therapy
[[Back to Content Warnings->Content Warnings]]
{
(set:$disassociated to false)
(set:$wall to false)
(set:$prepared to false)
(set:$flashlight to false)
(set:$help to false)
(set:$watching to false)
(set:$pain to 0)
(set:$c to (color: #9DD8E6))
}broken shards form angel wings around you
your halo is dented, cracked, and dimmed
you stagger to your feet and flip the switch
the chorus of sparks is a dull hymn
there is no safety there
on your way back your eyes trip over a stone
your hands unwrap the paper
your brain sorts familiar forms and shapes
your knees tremble and your legs go weak
"I cannot hide, but I can run.
Will you chase me?
You are not safe.
You cannot escape me."
a light in the distance lifts your fallen gaze
reflected off a vague form all too familiar
and fleeing as the shape makes for the shadows
[[but i am powerless->Ignore]]
[[knowledge is power->Investigate]]
[[i am more powerful than they know->Pursue]]