You have arrived at the hotel. Alone. [[Check In]] [[Look Around]] You go up to the desk, "Hello, what may I do for you?" "Yes, I would like to check in." "What is the Reservation under?" [[Thomas]] [[Burnt]]You look around. There are old paintings and it smells dusty. There is a old man asleep on the chair with a fanny pack. [[Poke Man]] [[Check In]] You poke a man. He snores a little. [[Check In]] [[Open Fanny Pack]] Inside is a collection of old toothbrushes. You shriek. The old man stands up spilling his old toothbrushes everywhere. You run away, crying. [[Check In]] "Oh yes, here you are Sir Thomas. You will be staying in the Island Suite. Your wife has already checked in, about an hour ago." "Oh great" "Oh yes, she is quite nice." "Oh okay" "Here are your keys" [[Go to Island Room]] [[Go to Hotel Bar]] "Oh yes, here you are, Sister Burnt. You will be staying in the Chapel room. It has great views of the pool." "O glory goodness, thanks so much." "here are your keys." [[Go to Chapel Room]] [[You are feeling hungry, go to the dining room]] As you walk to your room you realize how terrible of an idea this is. Your name is not Thomas and you don't have a wife and wow this is wild. I mean, you really just walked into this hotel for no reason and asked for a room and here you are about to go into it. This is wild. You take a deep breathe, chuckle, and slide the key into the door. You open the door slowly, you hear the water going in the shower. [[say hello to this woman who is showering]] [[Search the Room]] Thank god you went to the bar. You aren't even married! How weird is that! You didn't even rent a room. Inside the bar there is an old man asleep on a bar stool, a middle aged thing tending bar. Soft music plays. [[Poke the Old Man]] [[Ask for a Drink]] Old man wakes up, screaming. He stands up. His fanny pack falls off of his lap and old toothbrushes scatter the floor. He cries and manically picks them up off the floor, alternating between deep, gruesome sobs and staring at your pathetic self. "WHY CAN'T I SLEEP? WHY WON'T YOU LET ME SLEEP?" You blink back at him, he runs off, crying. [[Go to Island Room]] [[Ask for a Drink]] The middle-aged thing looks at you and your pathetic self. "what can i get you?" [[Iced Tea]] [[Vodka and coke]] "Wow you're even more pathetic than I thought. Here's your drink, it'll be ten dollars." "Ten dollars for an iced tea?" "This is a nice hotel this is fresh tea this is organic and grass fed and if you don't like it then you don't understand capitalism and you can leave." [["Why are you so cruel?"]] [["I mean of course, but is it locally sourced? I only drink it locally sourced."]] "That is truly revolting!" "I know! I am revolting!" "Wow, this is disgusting. You are a terrible human being." "Thanks." You drink your gross beverage in silence as the middle-aged bartender looks on disaprovingly. You pay your tab in silence, leaving a generous tip out of shame and disgust of yourself. [[Go to Island Room]] [[Go back to the lobby]] "Get out of here you capitalist pig!" You stand up and spit on the table. [[Go to Island Room]] [[Go back to the lobby]] "Yes why of course it is. I am so glad you understand our mission here." "ha ha ha thank goodness! I was so worried! i was like 'what kind of place is this? some hole in the wall?' ha ha ha" "hoo boy you are great! what brings you in here?" [["I'm lonely and scared."]] [["I'm just here to have a good time."]] You get to the lobby and sit on a couch. You are pretty tired from your trip and you get a lil sleepy. You take a nap. You take a nap forever. You aged thirty years. someone gives you a fanny pack full of toothbrushes. you sleep and sleep and sleep. this is your home. this is your life. this is you forever and forever."me too, honey, me too." "I'll drink to that." You all both drink in silence. You both stare off in the distance silently, wiping your tears. You sip your organic drink and pay the tab. [[Go to Island Room]] [[Go back to the lobby]] "Oh boy me too! Isn't it great!" "It really is great! ha!" You both nod at one another, the middle aged bartender begins to cry, deep heavy sobs, they bang their fist on the bar, an animal yell comes out of them "IM JUST HERE TO HAVE A GOOD TIME." You look out the window, not wanting to make eye contact. You quickly guzzle the drink down. The bartender cries more, eventually sinking into fetal position on the floor. You leave your payment on the counter and slowly move away. [[Go to Island Room]] [[Go back to the lobby]] You enter into her bathroom. She is singing the tune of Old Mcdonald has a farm. You begin to hum along too. She opens the shower curtain and takes a long look at you. "Thank goodness you are here! Could you hand me that long thing thing right there against the wall?" You hand her the case. She opens it, revealing a sword. She swings at you but due to the slippery nature of her feet, she falls, stabbing herself! You run out of the room, humming. [[Go back to the lobby]] The room is pretty clean still. It is truly an island room. The floor is actually just sand. You don't realize this at first and actually fall into it. You struggle to get up without making much of a sound. You are now covered in sand. On the bed is a suitcase. You open it up and all it is old toothbrushes. You search the bag more but all it is old toothbrushes. You hear the shower turn off in the bathroom. [[run out of the room]] [[wait to see what happens]] You run out of the room. You do this so quickly that you forget you are holding a bunch of old toothbrushes in your hands. You are so scared, you do not look where you are going. You accidently trip over a sleeping old man. He wakes up, yelling and crying at you. The old man stands, losing his fanny pack in the process. Out pours a lot of old tooth brushes. He cries and cries and cries, collecting his brushes. He yells at you but his sobbing is so violent you can't quite make it out. He steals your collection of tooth brushes and spits on you. [[Go back to the lobby]] You stand there for thirty minutes holding old toothbrushes, covered in sand, as the woman gets her things together. You didn't know it would take so long but it does. You are committed to your choice. She eventually comes out dressed in a gold gown, in her left hand is a glass of California White wine and in her right hand is a sword. "How dare you! You filthy sand man think you can just come into my room and steal my tooth brushes!" She slices your head off. Thank the lucky stars. You arrive in your room so terrible content and spiritual. It is nice. The room does have a great view and the bed is nice and wow oh great. You lay down for a quick nap because it is just so great. Midway through your nap you hear a creaking sound, like a spooky howl. [[get up and investigate]] [[get the heck out of here]] [[just sleep through it it is probably nothing]] You enter into the dining room and take a seat in the back of the space. The lights are low and soft ambient music plays. There is no one else here. In fact, you sit here for a while and you don't even see a worker. The sign said "open" and the tables are set. [[wait here for awhile silently]] [[yell for help]] [[Go to Chapel Room]] You wait here for an hour. Your stomach is growling harshly. No one comes [[wait longer]] [[go to those vending machines you saw]] [[Go to Chapel Room]] You yell and yell and yell and yell and yell. The lobby attendent comes running, asking what the problem is. "there is no wait staff! there is no food! i am hungry!" "this is a buffet around that corner." "oh" You go and eat at the buffet. you get a turkey sandwich, mashed potatoes, bread pudding, corn, salted ham, and a bread bowl full of spinach stew. [[Go to Chapel Room]] You wait for two more hours, nothing happens. [[go to those vending machines you saw]] [[Go to Chapel Room]] You go to the vending machines that are just outside the lobby. You pay for a bag of cheetos and a Diet pepsi. the cheetos bag gets stuck on its way down. You are so hungry you bang on the machine hoping to get the bag out. You bang louder, you cry, you yell, you are so hungry and have no more coins. You begin to shake the machine. As if in slow motion, the machine topples over. You narrowly miss the falling machine. You start thanking the spirits for saving your life, you take deep joyous breaths! You are so busy praising and thanking and breathing that you don't realize that the pepsi machine was left unstable due to the snack machine falling. It violently falls on top of you, crushing you instantly!You wake up to the eyes of a ghost. the ghost is a shape shifting void, growling at you. [[fight the ghost]] [[ask the ghost "what's up?"]] [[get the heck out of here]] You run full speed out of the room. Great thinking. You run and run and run. where should u go? [[go to those vending machines you saw]] [[go to lobby and complain!]] As you attempt to sleep through the howling noises, your body becomes inhabited by the ghost of the hotel. You must live out the rest of your life as a ghost at a cheap themed motel. You raise your sleepy fist to fight this dumb ghost! But guess what it is actually a ghost and it just floats past your fists and into your ears and inhabits you. you are now the ghost of a cheap themed motel. "man! nothing! haha hah haha nobody ever asks me !" "yeah ha ha ha " "cool. well enjoy your stay." "neato burrito." "wow man that was a terrible phrase." "woo boy i'm just having some fun ha ha ha" "haha ha" "ha ha" The ghost floats into your ear and inhabits you. You are now a ghost at a cheap themed hotel. "yeah i got the chapel room and there was a ghost in it!! it haunted me!" "That is so funny and so not true there is so not a ghost in this great hotel i think it is best you leave." "What? You're the one with the ghost! the ghost should leave!" "You are too funny you need to leave there is no ghost here." You leave the hotel, angry and upset but alive as a human being.